All language subtitles for Speechless s03e15 G-A-- GAME N-I-- NIGHT.eng

Hello, darling.
Out with Izzy again were you?

One month
and still going strong.

I can't wait
to meet her.

Things are going very well
for me, too.

Melanie taught me PowerPoint.
Want a demo?

[ Explosion ]

Maya: Betrayal: Why is JJ
ashamed of his mother?

I like the moving letters.

Let me meet your mum!

I don't know what
she sounds like.

I had to improvise.

People who have gotten
to meet Izzy --

Kenneth...Ray...

You took a picture of me
sleeping?

Worse.
Found it online.

...the server at
the yogurt place

I followed you to last week.

I put too many toppings on!

I don't want to judge her
based on her toppings,

but it's all I know!
When meeting Izzy,

Maya pledges not to:
Embarrass JJ.

Interrogate Izzy.

Collect Izzy's hair
for a drug test.

Other lies to come.
Ah, that was a placeholder.

Yeah, I'm sorry.
I was supposed to pitch on that.

Reasons Maya deserves to meet
Izzy: She gave birth to you.

30 hours of labor.
30 hours.

Brought you into this world.

Gave you life. Childbirth.

I feel like one and three
are similar?

The only plausible reason
you do not introduce me:

You hate me!

Perhaps you've forgotten
what I've done for you.

Here's a refresher.

Jimmy: Come on, Maya, honey.
You're doing great. [ Maya groaning ]

Nurse: Deep breaths.
You're doing great.

Just push, honey.
You're doing great.

Keep pushing.
You're almost there. Just breathe. Breathe.

Good.
Don't forget to breathe. Don't forget to breathe.

Maya: It's coming out!
I can't get it out!

Jimmy: Home stretch.
This is amazing. Look at this!

[ Maya screaming ]

Kenneth: Wow.
Jimmy: Oh.

If you don't say
anything about that,

you really don't talk,
do you?

-- Captions by VITAC --

Ray: Great news, guys.

I just got my license.

Congrats.
Welcome to the club.

Who's Trudie Higgins?
Not my problem.

I'm the organ donor now.

JJ, since you can't get
a driver's license,

I want you to know
that this is our license.

I'm serious.

Wherever you want to go,
I will drive you.

Oh.

These passenger gloves
are for you,

and, together,
we shall tour with a panache

not seen since
the golden age of the motorcar.

God, you guys ruin
everything I like.

**

"Listen,
I have an announcement.

I've decided to introduce you...
to Izzy?"

Oh, thank you, darling.

Thank you so much!

What?! No, man.

Don't be teaching her
the birth video works!

Jimmy: This is great.

Maya, you're really
gonna like Izzy.

I met her last week.

Why would I make that joke?
Who -- Who's that for?

"Just know we're doing
this my way.

Izzy likes games.
We'll have a game night.

Everyone will behave."

Oh, I do hope so. Yeah.

Who are you
worried about?

Well, me, of course.

Well, you know how I am
with JJ.

I don't know this girl.
Anything could happen.

But it's you.
Can't you control yourself?

I can. The same way The Wolfman
can control himself...

But, you know, then his son
brings home the full moon.

"Are we going to be
able to do this?"

Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no.

It's gonna be fine.

As long as she's not
bad for you.

Ooh, did you see that?
[ Gasps ]

I-I'd be very worried
about that.

**

[ Laughs ]
What's with the lump?

He just walked in
and insulted my cheeseball.

You made the cheeseball?

Yuusss!

I only make this
for really special occasions.

Births. Weddings.

Dinner with that guy
who claimed to be my new boss.

That guy was a liar.

We figured it out when
we caught him taking a bath.

Weird night.

Now, nobody touch this.

This ball is just
to impress Izzy.

She gets first taste.

[ Chuckles ]
Man, I haven't seen this much

excitement around
a cheeseball since...

W-Who's that SNL guy?
He -- He sucks.

Ya gotta know where you're
going with it, Kenneth.

I know I said I'd get Izzy
a gluten-free cake

from the terrible bakery.

And I went there,
and I picked one!

And then I had the thought
that it did make her seem

a bit high-maintenance.

Next thing, I'm in the car
covered in the worst frosting.

Not chocolaty at all,
just brown!

Help me, JJ!

"We have thirty minutes
to get a cake for Izzy.

Time to use our license."

Thirty minutes?
Seems a bit rushed.

And I just
checked the weather,

and I am not liking
that dew point...

Okay, okay.

I just have to do
my ten-step

pre-drive checklist.

"Greetings, passenger --"

[ Thud ]
Ow! Okay, fine!

I'll skip ahead.

"Rule number six:
My car is a hate-free zone.

Misogyny
will not be tolerated."

Bad news, everyone.

It looks like I bought an outfit
I saw Izzy wearing online.

I seem to be pursuing
some sort of

"Single White Female"
strategy.

What are we gonna do?

Jimmy, stop me from ruining
this. Distract me.

Show me a video
of a special-needs mom

doing a transfer that's
technically correct

but not the way I do it.
You got to relax.

Do you know how important
tonight is?

No,
I spent eight dollars

on cheeseball ingredients
'cause I don't.

I just want it to
go well for JJ,

but what do we know
about this girl?

I mean, she really could be
in it for the wrong reasons.

Well, I'd rule out
"gold digger."

I know that I am really good
at protecting JJ

whilst also
giving him space.

I mean, I'll even let him go
to college an hour away.

But this -- I have no control
over this.

She could break his heart.
This has to go well.

Okay.
I'll do it.

I'll be all over you.
I'll be your shadow.

I'm never gonna let you
out of my sight.

Where'd you go?
Jimmy, she's getting away!

Kenneth: You were right.

That thing
is frickin' awesome.

You tasted it?
Mm-hmm.

Heaven.
But how?

It -- It looks so perfect.

Took a slice out of it.
Smushed it back together.

It looks exactly the same.
It's ball science, baby!

Uh...

Mmm.
[ Chuckles ]

Oh.

Can you tell?
Scientifically, no one can.

God, why is it so good?

I think it's the love.

I mean, you can tell it
was made with love.

And the rich tradition.

It comes through.
Yes!

Like in the old country when
food was about coming together,

a common language.

Food used to be about
tasty bites, not gigabytes.

Hear, hear.
I'll eat to that.

Oh,
you're making it uneven.

Here, I'll fix it.

Maybe just
a little bit more.

All right, got the cake, and
we should be home before Izzy.

Okay --
safety checklist.

Head count.

One.

Two.

Okay.
All accounted for.

Once again, misogyny
will not be tolerated.

"Hurry.

Izzy will be at our house
in ten minutes."

[ Horn honks ]

[ Wipers squeak ]

We are good to go.
Time to head home.

Right after
this fog clears.

**

Izzy, welcome.

Hi, Mr. DiMeo.

Please,
Mr. DiMeo's my father.

Call me Jimmy.
I'd rather not.

I'm awkward.

I've never heard anyone
just come out

and say they're
awkward before.

It suggests a certain
amount of comfort.

No, I regretted it immediately.
I'm spiraling now.

Come on in.
Have a seat.

Okay.
[ Cellphone ringing ]

Where are you?
Izzy's here.

We're late!
This fog, it's terrible!

Stop it!
Oh, great.

Now I have to start the safety
checklist all over again.

Head count!
One...

Just get here safely.

I've got your mom
occupied for now.

Okay, bye.
[ Horn honks ]

[ Wipers squeak ]

I can't believe you
tangled this chain

and you have to
wear it tonight.

Why worry about a chain
when you should be

distracting me
from Izzy?

JJ stepped away,
but he'll be right back.

Did he say how long
he'll be?

Izzy, relax.
It's me.

You're acting like you're
stuck here with some...dad.

I'm not gonna pick you
apart or pry.

I'm cool.
Do you mind if I use the restroom?

Please, my father's bathroom
is the restroom.

Call it the can.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

[ Cellphone chimes ]

Oh, it's from my own son.

Maybe it's a text for me

that he sent to her phone
for some reason?

I've got to look.

[ Sighs ]
If I shouldn't do it, say "no."

[ Barks ]
Eh, not bark.

I said "say."

**

The text said,
"I'll be back soon.

Don't talk to them about it.
They won't understand."

Oh, they're definitely hiding
something from us.

Go get her, Wolfman.

[ Wolf howls ]

Wow,
you've been practicing.

"Ray, just drive.
Please.

I need to get home now."

Stop pressuring me.

Look at us.
What are we doing?

If we turn on each other,
the fog wins.

"Izzy is home alone
with Mom.

I'm begging you."

I'm not risking your life
by driving through that.

But I can offer you this:

I'll drive around the perimeter
of the fog.

**

[ Sighs ]
Okay, home is that way.

If the fog be merciful,
she will lead us there.

[ Groans ]
Yeah, bad news.

The fog be not merciful.

The other way it is.

Well,
we got the shape right.

The question is,
will he remember the size?

At a certain point, this
cheeseball is just evidence.

I meant
we should split it.

Well, we have to make
another one.

What was in it?
I don't know.

It's a secret
DiMeo family recipe

passed down from
generation to generation.

All I know is in it
is love.

Well, there's this
cheeseball recipe

on the back of a box of crackers
that Jimmy circled.

It'll have to do.

We promised JJ tonight
would go well,

but we need to get to
the bottom of this text.

Oh, we'll cover the text.
And so much more.

Buy me ten minutes
to prepare.

What are you gonna do?

I'll tell you right now,
I will testify against you.

It's game night.
Let's play a game.

"Revelations:
The Game of Truths"?

It's nice to meet you,
by the way.

Yeah, yeah.
Let's play.

I've never heard
of this game before.

It's very easy:
you just take the tokens

and you move through
the revelation zones:

past plans, future plans,
hard truths,

hypotheticals,
physical challenge.

Wow.

That's part
of the game, too.

Pretending it's the first time
you've seen it.

Yes, so that is a bag
of truth gold for me.

Right, now, everyone
put on your honesty band.

They turn red
if you lie.

And I shall place
the hammer of falsity

in the middle
of the game

and hope we never have
to use it.

How did you make this
in ten minutes?

With a mother's love
for her son.

But, like,
we don't have a printer.

Right,
new player goes first.

Spin the wheel.

What's the worst thing
you've ever done?

It hasn't stopped yet.
Doesn't matter.

That's part of the game.
Talk.

Ray:
"Can you go faster?"

Oh, yeah,
actually, I can

because my whole attitude
about the fog and darkness

has suddenly changed,

and I am no longer terrified
of this scenario.

"Half of that license
is mine.

My half says drive.

Or is that just something
you made up

to make me feel better?"

Like out of pity?

No, you're right.

T-R--
JJ, I cannot read right now.

This is hard enough --
[ Metal crunches ]

T-R-E-E -- "Tree."

[ Sighs ]
Yeah, thanks.

Which is why I have
such a good relationship

with my other
three cousins!

Bam!
That's ten truth tokens!

Maya, you're banker.
Token me!

Token yourself.
Izzy, you're up.

"Name someone
you're close with."

I guess my dad?

Reversal.
Name someone else.

Uh, my mom?

Reversal.
Non-Family Handcuffs.

You are wasting
all your good cards.

I guess JJ?
Oh, unexpected.

Spin the Truth Wheel.
Let's get your next question.

"Tell a secret you have
with this person."

Tough one.

I guess you should just be
totally honest and forthcoming.

[ Sighs ] Well, I guess
the biggest secret is how, um...

Gosh,
this is hard to say...

Um, neither of JJ's parents
know that I know

they taped together parts of
five different board games

to create a fake game
to ask me questions,

so all of my answers have
been lies this whole time?

That's enough games for now.
Who wants cheeseball?

-I'd wait.
-Doesn't feel like the time.

I don't know
what that is,

but we just got started
with this game.

And I have questions
for you.

Maya?

It's good.

I honestly don't think
I'd know this isn't Dad's.

Well, you know what?
I hate it!

[ Disposal whirring ]

It doesn't taste like love
at all!

It tastes like fear.
We start over.

That was the last
of our cheese!

Well, I have high standards,
and I will not apologize for it.

What are we supposed
to do now, Kenneth?

Dad's gonna walk in here
at any moment

ready to serve Izzy
a cheeseball,

and we don't even
have cheese!

What if we use
not cheese?

What if it just looks
like a cheeseball long enough

for us to drop it
on the floor?

It's the perfect crime.

[ Chuckles ]
Yeah!

For a couple people
who've eaten collectively

three pounds of cheese,
we're pretty smart.

How noticeable is it?

Be honest.
Not brutally honest.

Frank.
Maybe open with a joke.

"Oh, no,
look at the cake.

This never would've happened
if you had just --"

D-R-O--

Oh, my God, JJ,
okay, I get it.

I'm not your chauffeur.

"I thought it
was our license."

Well it's not, okay?
It's my license!

I just said that because
I felt bad for you!

And now I feel bad
because I'm admitting it,

so I'm just gonna go
for a walk.

[ Thud ]
Ow!

I hit a tree.

[ Thud ]
Ow! Another tree!

What is this,
a dang arboretum?!

Question card.

Why does JJ have
such an early curfew?

Good move, but it's --
it's actually my turn. Mirror card.

Why do you want him to have
such a bloody late curfew?

Okay, so we're just gonna
ignore the rules

now that Jimmy's winning.

Are you carrying
my grandchild?

Ew!
"Ew" is not an answer.

Don the answer-dodge cap!

Does he have a journal?
Yes.

Do you read it?
Yes.

Does it say nicer things about
me than it says about you?

Jimmy, for the love of God, use
your power tokens and stop this!

I can't. I'm saving them
for the mouse trap!

Enough.

I'll stop it.

Because no amount of answers
will satisfy you.

I get that you're afraid.

You've helped JJ through
so much,

but this is the one thing
you have no control over.

No, it's not true!

I have a "control everything"
card!

I care about JJ.
A lot.

And I trust that you
taught him well enough

to choose someone that cares
about him the way he deserves.

Oh, Izzy.

I'm sorry we put you
through all this.

You do actually seem like
a very special person.

We were just desperate to
know everything about you,

and of course we can't know
everything, and nor should we.

Technically, she went over time,
but I concur completely.

I think you're
quite good for JJ.

I think I like you
very much.

Now you say
you like me.

[ Sighs ]

I like you.
Oh, Izzy, Izzy!

Well, I guess if this evening
proves anything,

it's that JJ was right.

We wouldn't understand,
whatever it is.

What was that?
Oh, nothing.

How did you know that?
What? I don't -- Hmm?

No reason. Maya, help. Help.
Make a new board game.

I didn't look at your phone, if
that's what you're insinuating.

Who's this, then?

Oh. Your phone
has a camera?

[ Sighs ]
Must be nice.

Well, at least you were true
to your word.

You kept me
from ruining it.

Yeah, you're welcome.

I really don't see
how this helps. Just read it.

"Maya, come to the mall quick.
Free pretzel samples."

And then an emoji
of a taco.

There.
You read my text.

I feel violated.
We are even.

Also, you actually sent this
text to your car dealership.

What?
Jimmy!

I would've loved
pretzel samples.

Izzy, the point is,
we're sorry.

Our one promise to JJ was
to make this night go well,

and we screwed that up.

Please,
what else can we do?

It's your call.
I think I'm gonna go home.

Oh, hell no.
Over our dead bodies.

Look, I'm sorry, JJ.

"I don't need your pity."

It's not pity.
I just feel guilty sometimes.

When I hit big milestones like
getting my driver's license,

I think about
how you won't.

It makes no sense.

There's no reason why
I should get to be able

to do these things
and you don't get to.

It's not fair.

"You're right, but we don't
have control of it.

I don't waste my time
feeling bad about it.

You shouldn't."

I shouldn't?

Well, if we're talking about
things we can't control,

Mom with Izzy is gonna
be whatever she is.

No cake can fix that.

"Let's just eat this thing,
then."

**

Mmm.
Gluten-free, huh?

Yeah, you can really taste
the absence of...everything.

Ugh.

"The fog is lifting."

Yeah, it really is.

I'm glad we finally got
to talk about this.

"I meant literally."

Oh, yeah,
no, I-I knew that.

Emotional fog?
What are we, a couple of girls?

"No..."
M-I-- "...misogyny."

You remembered.

Hey, that looks like the mailbox
Mom hit with her car.

And is that the lamppost Mom
hit with her car?

And the car Mom hit
with her car...

We're just a couple blocks
from home!

"Follow the things
Mom hit with her car."

No wonder I'm such
a terrible driver. [ JJ laughs ]

Okay, so, here we are
at the bargaining table.

No.
You're kidnapping me.

All right, great.
Let's discuss your proposal.

Please stay.

We'll give you the licensing
rights to the game.

Domestic.

Would a bribe help?
See this jar of change?

It is all yours.

Where are the quarters?

Oh, wow.
You are good at this.

Well, here it is.

Jimmy's famous cheeseball!

Yes, this will
make you love us.

It looks bigger
than usual.

It's just closer
to your face.

Oh, no!
My side is slipping!

Oh, as is my side!

[ Grunts ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Got it.
Fastest you've ever moved in your whole damn life!

[ Chuckles ] Good D.
Good -- Good D, Jimmy.

Yeah?
I'm okay, actually.

Izzy, if there's one thing
we miserable retches can do,

it's make a party cheeseball
that radiates with love.

Please eat?

-Or don't.
-Or don't.

[ Spits ]

Ew!
That's gross!

Is that clay?!

Bingo! [ Chuckles ]
Super-taster over here.

I mean,
it's clay and dog food.

Wh-- I'm not gonna use
all my clay.

I play with that.
[ Door opens ]

What is wrong
with you people?

Ray:
"You're still here." Hi.

"I was worried
they scared you off."

[ Both laugh nervously ]

That's rich.
You are a...card.

"Do you have
a venereal disease?"

I mean, not that card.
Just a card in general.

What took so long?
Is everything okay?

I will try to find the right
time to answer that question.

"Has it been okay?"

Your parents made me...

...feel very welcome.

You have to have a little more
faith in us, JJ.

I can't do this. I'm sorry.
We were awful.

We grilled her,
we invaded her privacy,

we fed her dog food...

Yeah, I don't know why
you made us meet her.

Kenneth:
"Aw, come on, Wolfman!"

No, no, it's not
The Wolfman's fault.

I read your text to Izzy.
I freaked.

Of course you guys are allowed
to have secrets.

"Actually, no,
Ray showed me

it's better to come clean with
the stuff you're holding onto.

That's when
the fog clears."

Metaphorically?

Well, good.
'Cause you can tell us anything.

And we're not afraid she's gonna
take you away from us.

Kenneth: "Izzy's going to
college in New York."

Well, why wouldn't we understand
that, darling?

"I want to go to film school
there."

Okay, good,
I wrecked my car.

Whew.
That's a load off.

New York? But how would
that even be possible?

And when were you
going to tell us?

Well, how is that a question
about sports and entertainment?

"I figured I wouldn't apply
because I was afraid

to tell you,
but I really want to go."

What did you do to
all of my games?

"Well? Can I go?"

Can you go?

We were worried about you
going to school an hour away.

This is a much longer
conversation.

"I still have to fill out
an application.

And make a film.

By tomorrow."

Bombshell bonus.

You win "Revelations"!

Best two out of three?

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