All language subtitles for Liar Liar 1997 HDDVDRip 720p H264-3Li.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,138 --> 00:00:54,409 W... 2 00:00:54,777 --> 00:00:56,316 O... 3 00:00:56,925 --> 00:00:58,366 R... 4 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,231 K! 5 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,835 Work. 6 00:01:03,030 --> 00:01:07,300 Today we're going to share what our parents do for... 7 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,435 Work! 8 00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,649 My mommy is a doctor. 9 00:01:12,749 --> 00:01:14,419 My daddy is a truck driver. 10 00:01:14,519 --> 00:01:16,424 My mom's a teacher. 11 00:01:16,524 --> 00:01:17,692 And your dad? 12 00:01:17,792 --> 00:01:20,270 Mmm... My dad... 13 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,480 He's... a liar. 14 00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:29,839 A liar? Oh, I- I'm sure you don't mean a liar. 15 00:01:29,939 --> 00:01:33,676 Well, he wears a suit and goes to court and talks to the judge. 16 00:01:33,776 --> 00:01:35,727 Oh! I see. 17 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,394 You mean he's a lawyer. 18 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,889 Hey, Fletcher. How'd it go? 19 00:01:46,989 --> 00:01:49,058 Just another victory for the wrongly accused. 20 00:01:49,158 --> 00:01:50,559 Yeah, right. 21 00:01:50,659 --> 00:01:53,029 Mr. Reede, great job. Do you want your coat back? 22 00:01:53,129 --> 00:01:55,464 No, I'm sure you'll be needing it again and again. 23 00:01:55,564 --> 00:01:56,899 Do you have a moment? 24 00:01:56,999 --> 00:01:59,135 I'm late. It's my day to be with my son. 25 00:01:59,235 --> 00:02:02,171 A couple of reporters want to talk about your big win. 26 00:02:02,271 --> 00:02:04,273 Yeah? How's my hair? 27 00:02:04,373 --> 00:02:06,019 Fabulous. You look great. 28 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:23,693 What time is it? 29 00:02:23,793 --> 00:02:27,077 I am sure your dad just got held up in court again. 30 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:34,887 Dad! 31 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:37,085 Maximilian! 32 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,479 Hey, how you doing, creep? 33 00:02:43,579 --> 00:02:44,579 Good. 34 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:50,453 Me too, except my arm has been bothering me. 35 00:02:50,553 --> 00:02:51,654 Oh, no, Dad! 36 00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:52,989 Oh, yeah. 37 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:56,008 It's becoming a claw! 38 00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:03,308 Nothing can stop the claw! 39 00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:09,705 Run, boy, run! Save yourself! 40 00:03:09,805 --> 00:03:12,350 Do the claw to Mom! Do the claw to Mom! 41 00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,878 You found the claw's only weakness. 42 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,397 Subzero temperatures! 43 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:23,185 So, did you have any trouble finding the place? 44 00:03:23,285 --> 00:03:26,322 Okay, I'm late. I'm sorry. I ran out of gas. 45 00:03:26,422 --> 00:03:30,926 The gauge is broken. Rough neighborhood too. 46 00:03:31,026 --> 00:03:33,095 Good thing I was wearing neutral gang colors. 47 00:03:33,195 --> 00:03:35,564 I might have had to pull out my nine and bust a cap. 48 00:03:35,664 --> 00:03:38,901 With my mind on my money and my money on my mind 49 00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:42,038 They would never hurt you, Fletcher. You're their lawyer. 50 00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:45,422 That was below the belt. Keep the gloves up. 51 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,477 Mom, Dad's taking me to see wrestling! 52 00:03:48,577 --> 00:03:49,612 Oh, Fletcher! 53 00:03:49,712 --> 00:03:51,447 Oh, Audrey! 54 00:03:51,547 --> 00:03:54,450 Why do you have to take him to see that stuff? It's very violent. 55 00:03:54,550 --> 00:03:57,903 The boy must grow to be a warrior. 56 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:00,823 Who better to guide him than Rick Rude 57 00:04:00,923 --> 00:04:04,577 and Randy "Macho Man" Savage in the cage of death? 58 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,113 Oh, good! 59 00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,099 Jerry, how's it going? 60 00:04:10,199 --> 00:04:12,550 Hey, gipper! 61 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,071 You look like you grow by the minute! 62 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:17,006 Fletcher, pleasure to see you. 63 00:04:17,106 --> 00:04:18,820 Hi, honey! Hi. 64 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:24,286 Wow. That was a nice image. Deleted. 65 00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:27,116 I have some more boxes for you. 66 00:04:27,216 --> 00:04:28,350 Oh, you're an angel. 67 00:04:28,450 --> 00:04:29,601 Boxes? 68 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:33,255 Remember, I told you a few weeks ago, Jerry's moving to Boston. 69 00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:37,960 Oh, right! The job, the thing. What do you do again? 70 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,395 Hospital administrator. 71 00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:40,696 Right, right! 72 00:04:40,796 --> 00:04:42,732 Well, the boxes are in my car. 73 00:04:42,832 --> 00:04:44,200 Oh, those can wait. 74 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:47,220 I made this young man a promise, didn't I? 75 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,305 Got time to throw a few? 76 00:04:49,405 --> 00:04:50,381 Sure! 77 00:04:50,481 --> 00:04:52,118 Come on, then! 78 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,177 I forgot the boyfriend was moving. Jerry! 79 00:04:55,277 --> 00:04:58,380 His name is Jerry! And yes, he's moving. 80 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,917 I'm sorry. I hated him less than your other boyfriends. 81 00:05:02,017 --> 00:05:03,385 It wasn't serious, was it? 82 00:05:03,485 --> 00:05:05,187 Semi-serious, yes. 83 00:05:05,287 --> 00:05:08,470 You guys aren't... You know... 84 00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,130 I have been dating him for seven months. 85 00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,213 What do you think? 86 00:05:15,313 --> 00:05:16,648 Really? 87 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,730 I was hoping after being married to me you'd have no strength left. 88 00:05:19,868 --> 00:05:21,604 Remember, when we were married, 89 00:05:21,704 --> 00:05:24,006 I wasn't having sex nearly as often as you were. 90 00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:27,857 Ouch! And the ref takes a point away. 91 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:29,828 Out! 92 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,855 Max is gonna miss him. 93 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,217 I'll be here. 94 00:05:35,317 --> 00:05:39,555 Ready? Yeah! Play ball. 95 00:05:39,655 --> 00:05:42,371 Max, come on. We've gotta go. 96 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,827 Dad, are we really going to wrestling? 97 00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:46,462 Absolutely, Max Factor. 98 00:05:46,562 --> 00:05:48,831 We just have to stop by the office for one minute. 99 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,900 Excuse me, sir. Any spare change? 100 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,942 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm all out. 101 00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,171 I can't do it. 102 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:59,508 Fred, it's your duty to present the strongest case possible. 103 00:05:59,608 --> 00:06:02,077 The strongest case possible consistent with the truth. 104 00:06:02,177 --> 00:06:04,313 Will you let the judge decide what's true? 105 00:06:04,413 --> 00:06:07,850 That's what he gets paid for. You get paid to win. 106 00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:10,352 If you insist that I take it to trial, 107 00:06:10,452 --> 00:06:14,290 I will represent Mrs. Cole aggressively and ethically. 108 00:06:14,390 --> 00:06:16,502 But Miranda, I won't lie. 109 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:21,580 Then we'll just have to find someone who will. 110 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:26,318 Twenty-first floor. Men's wear. 111 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,641 Hi, Mr. Reede! 112 00:06:32,741 --> 00:06:36,925 Hey. Did you do something to your hair? 113 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,781 It's a bit extreme, isn't it? 114 00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:42,785 No! That's the thing nowadays, right? 115 00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:44,954 He said it would accent my facial features. 116 00:06:45,054 --> 00:06:46,055 That's what it does! 117 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,871 It completely accents your facial features. 118 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,769 We're just gonna go to my office... 119 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,599 Hey, Fletcher. 120 00:06:56,699 --> 00:06:57,867 Hey, Pete. 121 00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,040 You losing a little weight? 122 00:06:59,140 --> 00:07:00,369 I don't know. Maybe. 123 00:07:00,469 --> 00:07:02,972 Looks and personality. A double-threat guy. 124 00:07:03,072 --> 00:07:05,441 Hey, Mr. Reede. Hey... man. 125 00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:06,524 It's, uh, Randy. 126 00:07:06,624 --> 00:07:07,610 Yeah, I know. 127 00:07:07,710 --> 00:07:10,246 Taking lunch orders. Anything? 128 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:11,662 No, thanks. 129 00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:16,385 I had so much for breakfast, I'm ready to pop. 130 00:07:16,485 --> 00:07:18,187 I mean, I'm full. 131 00:07:18,287 --> 00:07:20,638 Okay. Great. 132 00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:25,811 Max! 133 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,663 Hi, Greta. 134 00:07:27,763 --> 00:07:29,331 Hey, what's new? 135 00:07:29,431 --> 00:07:32,468 It's my birthday tomorrow, and we're having a party. 136 00:07:32,568 --> 00:07:35,887 Wow! I am sure your daddy has got you something wonderful. 137 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,189 Yeah? 138 00:07:37,424 --> 00:07:41,588 Yeah, you bet! Listen, kiddo. 139 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,720 Why don't you play in my office for a minute. 140 00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:46,015 Sue somebody for everything they've got. 141 00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:50,332 Maybe you can send a fax to one of your girlfriends. Hey, sorry. 142 00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,889 Damn it! I completely forgot. 143 00:07:53,989 --> 00:07:55,908 Oh, what a surprise. 144 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:59,128 You are a saint. I should buy you a gift. 145 00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:00,429 You did. 146 00:08:00,529 --> 00:08:02,731 I always do the classy thing. Any calls? 147 00:08:02,831 --> 00:08:04,933 Judge Rawlings' clerk needs your filing. 148 00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:06,135 Tell him it's in the mail. 149 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,836 Right. You'll do it next week. 150 00:08:07,936 --> 00:08:11,153 Mr. McKinley phoned to confirm your meeting tomorrow. 151 00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,243 Strep throat. Some kind of virus. What's going around? 152 00:08:14,343 --> 00:08:15,310 Asian flu? 153 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:16,361 Good one. 154 00:08:16,461 --> 00:08:17,964 And your mother called. 155 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:19,081 I'm on vacation. 156 00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:20,349 It's your fifth week. 157 00:08:20,449 --> 00:08:21,684 Snowed in. Phones are down. 158 00:08:21,784 --> 00:08:24,219 Break mother's heart. Done. That's it. 159 00:08:24,319 --> 00:08:27,103 Except Miranda's looking for you. 160 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:31,894 How much ass do I have to kiss to make partner? 161 00:08:31,994 --> 00:08:34,496 Tell her I broke my leg and I had to be shot. 162 00:08:34,596 --> 00:08:36,538 Tell her yourself. 163 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,903 And then send out a notice of judgment on my win today! 164 00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:42,571 I'll get right on it. 165 00:08:42,671 --> 00:08:46,241 Miranda! Hey, I didn't see you. 166 00:08:46,341 --> 00:08:48,811 You look beautiful today. 167 00:08:48,911 --> 00:08:51,113 Here! I bought you a gift. 168 00:08:51,213 --> 00:08:55,431 Oh, thanks. I heard about your victory. Congratulations. 169 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,430 You're making quite an impression on the partnership committee. 170 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:03,258 That's right! You folks are meeting soon. 171 00:09:03,358 --> 00:09:06,177 I've been so busy, I haven't even thought about it. 172 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:11,834 Anyway. I have a client in my office. 173 00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,535 Better not keep him waiting. 174 00:09:13,635 --> 00:09:16,886 Actually, something rather important's just come up. 175 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:19,826 You're not busy tonight, are you? 176 00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:29,996 We're not going, are we? 177 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:47,645 Audrey. You know how there are moments you know are critical? Mmm-hmm. 178 00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,472 And choices that have to be made 179 00:09:50,572 --> 00:09:52,572 upon which all one's future happiness will depend? 180 00:09:52,674 --> 00:09:53,718 Mmm-hmm. 181 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,251 This is one of those moments. 182 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,959 What are you trying to say? 183 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,836 Will you marry me? 184 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:08,757 You're moving. 185 00:10:08,857 --> 00:10:11,627 I know, but I want you and Max to come with me. 186 00:10:11,727 --> 00:10:13,762 Audrey, I've been giving this a lot of thought. 187 00:10:13,862 --> 00:10:17,099 You know I'm not prone to wild flights of romantic fancy. 188 00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:21,403 But the thought of you and I together just makes sense. 189 00:10:21,503 --> 00:10:24,173 Now I'm ready. I think you're ready. I love Max. 190 00:10:24,273 --> 00:10:27,125 You love Max. It's right. It fits. 191 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,592 So what do you say? 192 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:50,966 Hey, creepy. Happy birthday. 193 00:10:51,066 --> 00:10:53,135 How old are you now, 22 or 23? 194 00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:54,770 I'm five, Dad. 195 00:10:54,870 --> 00:10:55,870 Okay. 196 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,408 Return the beer keg. 197 00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:02,728 Cancel the dancing girls. 198 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,714 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 199 00:11:05,814 --> 00:11:08,484 I feel completely unprepared for this. 200 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:11,368 You see, I bought you a present, but last night 201 00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:14,356 I accidentally swallowed it. 202 00:11:14,456 --> 00:11:15,991 Dad, it's in your belly! 203 00:11:16,091 --> 00:11:17,271 Scalpel. 204 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,273 I hope it's not partially digested! 205 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:22,578 Look out! 206 00:11:22,815 --> 00:11:25,478 Cool! What is it? Cool! 207 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:29,204 It's... It's a surprise. 208 00:11:29,304 --> 00:11:32,020 All right, it's a pony. Just open it! 209 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,987 I'm gonna help, 'cause I can't stand it! 210 00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:40,497 Baseball stuff! 211 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,652 Cool! Can we play? 212 00:11:43,752 --> 00:11:47,523 I'll be Nomo. You can be Jose Canseco. Can we play? 213 00:11:47,623 --> 00:11:49,224 Absolutely. 214 00:11:49,324 --> 00:11:50,324 Yeah! 215 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,062 Right after your party tonight, we'll do it. 216 00:11:54,162 --> 00:11:55,513 You and me. 217 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,815 I just have to really concentrate on this right now. 218 00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:24,710 Hi! 219 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,864 Hey! Happy birthday. 220 00:12:28,964 --> 00:12:30,098 Thanks, Mom. 221 00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:31,981 Happy birthday, Max! 222 00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:37,339 One, two, three, four, five. And one for good luck! 223 00:12:37,439 --> 00:12:39,641 He struck the child. Did you see that? 224 00:12:39,741 --> 00:12:41,109 Look at what Dad got me! 225 00:12:41,209 --> 00:12:43,560 Whoa! Great! 226 00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:46,348 Hey, I have my glove in the car. 227 00:12:46,448 --> 00:12:49,585 Maybe we can stop at the park on the way home and play catch. 228 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:53,288 Then tonight we can rub oil in it and wrap a big rubber band around it. 229 00:12:53,388 --> 00:12:56,291 It'll be great. Hey, great gift, Dad! 230 00:12:56,391 --> 00:13:00,362 Thanks, son. I'm so glad my gift could bring those two together. 231 00:13:00,462 --> 00:13:03,405 My plan to phase myself out is almost complete. 232 00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:07,102 Something's come up, and we need to talk. 233 00:13:07,202 --> 00:13:09,504 Come on, Mom. I want to go play! 234 00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:12,774 And actually it's kind of important, so maybe we could talk tonight? 235 00:13:12,874 --> 00:13:13,875 Tonight? 236 00:13:13,975 --> 00:13:14,951 Yes. 237 00:13:15,051 --> 00:13:16,612 Max's birthday party. 238 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:17,779 Oh! Yeah. 239 00:13:17,879 --> 00:13:20,766 Sure. Of course. We'll talk then. Great! 240 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:24,786 Maximus! I'm outta here. 241 00:13:24,886 --> 00:13:25,921 Bye, Dad. 242 00:13:26,021 --> 00:13:28,373 Jerry, enjoy my wife. 243 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,975 Well, this is good. 244 00:13:47,075 --> 00:13:49,277 This is really smart. 245 00:13:49,377 --> 00:13:51,280 Thank you. Only... 246 00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:55,859 Well, it's not true. Does that present a problem? 247 00:13:57,537 --> 00:13:59,488 Mrs. Cole, the only problem here 248 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:03,292 is that after you've provided years of faithful service and loving support, 249 00:14:03,392 --> 00:14:05,594 of raising his children, they are his? 250 00:14:05,694 --> 00:14:09,877 Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah. One for sure. 251 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:13,835 After all that, your husband wants to deny you 252 00:14:13,935 --> 00:14:17,506 a fair share of the assets based on one act of indiscretion. 253 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:19,241 Seven. Pardon me? 254 00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:22,591 Seven single acts of indiscretion. 255 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:27,883 Seven acts of indiscretion, only one of which he has any evidence of 256 00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:31,495 and all of which he himself is responsible for. 257 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,904 He is? 258 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,856 Mrs. Cole. 259 00:14:34,956 --> 00:14:38,794 You're the victim here. The wife of a cold, distant workaholic. 260 00:14:38,894 --> 00:14:41,663 Starved for affection, driven into the arms of another man! 261 00:14:41,763 --> 00:14:43,498 Seven. Yeah, whatever! 262 00:14:43,598 --> 00:14:45,967 You're not trying to deny him what is rightfully his. 263 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:48,537 All you're insisting on is what is rightfully yours. 264 00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:52,574 Yeah. And maybe a... fraction more. 265 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:55,177 I think you're bending over backwards. 266 00:14:55,277 --> 00:15:00,315 Yeah. I did offer to give him joint custody of the kids. 267 00:15:00,415 --> 00:15:03,318 He is, after all, a wonderful father. 268 00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:05,099 And how does he repay you? 269 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,990 By dragging you through a painful litigation process! 270 00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:12,728 No, no, no, no! This can't happen! 271 00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:16,298 With all due respect, this isn't about you and Mr. Cole anymore. 272 00:15:16,398 --> 00:15:18,266 This is about all women. 273 00:15:18,366 --> 00:15:21,636 Where would Tina Turner be right now if she'd rolled over and said, 274 00:15:21,736 --> 00:15:25,107 "Hit me again, Ike, and put some stank on it?" 275 00:15:25,207 --> 00:15:27,476 Rolling on the river, that's where she'd be. 276 00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:31,554 But she's beyond Thunderdome, because she decided to send a message. 277 00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:36,718 Wake up, sisters! There's no 278 00:15:36,818 --> 00:15:40,399 such thing as a weaker sex! 279 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:43,959 You know what? 280 00:15:44,059 --> 00:15:48,463 You're right, Mr. Reede. I am tired of getting kicked around! 281 00:15:48,563 --> 00:15:51,099 Good for you! 282 00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:55,314 Thank you. I am so grateful 283 00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:58,690 to have an attorney I can trust. 284 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,032 Oh, you are good. 285 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,066 You are very, very good. 286 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:16,024 The Cole case is worth a truckload of money to this firm. 287 00:16:16,124 --> 00:16:19,375 If you win, I guarantee you'll make partner. 288 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:26,368 In fact, how would you like to make 289 00:16:26,468 --> 00:16:28,910 a partner right now? 290 00:16:29,188 --> 00:16:32,715 Oh, I don't know. I should... 291 00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:41,983 Happy, happy, happy happy, happy, happy 292 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:46,688 Happy I'm so happy today 293 00:16:46,788 --> 00:16:48,256 I live in the USA 294 00:16:48,356 --> 00:16:49,758 So honey? 295 00:16:49,858 --> 00:16:52,160 Have you thought about... 296 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,229 You know, what we talked about? 297 00:16:54,329 --> 00:16:57,032 Yeah. I can't go. 298 00:16:57,132 --> 00:16:59,017 What? Why not? 299 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,735 Because of Max. 300 00:17:00,835 --> 00:17:02,604 But he'll love it there. 301 00:17:02,704 --> 00:17:04,773 I'm gonna take him to Fenway Park. 302 00:17:04,873 --> 00:17:06,975 There's hiking and camping... 303 00:17:07,075 --> 00:17:10,621 Well, really, it's... Fletcher. 304 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,515 Fletcher? Come on, honey. 305 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,884 He wouldn't even come over unless you reminded him. 306 00:17:15,984 --> 00:17:18,787 I know, but when he does come over, Max is so happy. 307 00:17:18,887 --> 00:17:20,967 It's like they have their own little world together. 308 00:17:21,089 --> 00:17:22,891 The gipper and I have that too! 309 00:17:22,991 --> 00:17:24,967 I know, but it's different. 310 00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,111 How? 311 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,612 Well... 312 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,915 He does the claw. 313 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,133 The what? 314 00:17:32,233 --> 00:17:33,413 The claw. 315 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,014 You know, it's like this... 316 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:37,722 I don't... 317 00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:44,229 Run for you life. It's the claw! The claw! 318 00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,586 I can't really do it that good. That's not the point. 319 00:17:51,686 --> 00:17:53,128 The point is 320 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,625 if they're 3,000 miles apart, they're never gonna see each other. 321 00:17:56,725 --> 00:17:59,010 Fletcher's never gonna come to Boston. 322 00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:02,597 Hello. Audrey? 323 00:18:02,697 --> 00:18:04,933 Fletcher! Where are you? 324 00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:08,147 We're waiting. Max won't cut the cake until you get here. 325 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,054 Oh, man! 326 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:13,174 Actually, something has come up. I've... 327 00:18:13,274 --> 00:18:15,377 I've got this problem on a new case. 328 00:18:15,477 --> 00:18:17,012 What happened? Nothing! 329 00:18:17,112 --> 00:18:19,447 I stubbed my toe on the desk! 330 00:18:19,547 --> 00:18:23,151 I'm really sorry, but I just can't make it. 331 00:18:23,251 --> 00:18:26,570 The boss is, uh, really riding me. 332 00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:29,524 Fletcher, it's his birthday! 333 00:18:29,624 --> 00:18:31,560 I know, I know. 334 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,328 I'll make it up to him, I promise. 335 00:18:33,428 --> 00:18:35,196 I'll pick him up from school tomorrow, okay? 336 00:18:35,296 --> 00:18:36,298 You're gonna pick him up? 337 00:18:36,398 --> 00:18:37,398 Yes! 338 00:18:37,516 --> 00:18:40,368 All right, hold on a minute. You can say happy birthday. 339 00:18:40,468 --> 00:18:42,945 No! Gotta go! Goodbye. 340 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:46,324 Hello. 341 00:18:46,424 --> 00:18:50,561 Happy birthday to you 342 00:18:50,661 --> 00:18:55,430 Happy birthday, dear Max 343 00:18:55,868 --> 00:19:00,068 Happy birthday to you 344 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,940 Okay, birthday boy. Make a wish. 345 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,766 Come on, Max. It can be anything you want. 346 00:19:11,866 --> 00:19:14,047 Anything in the whole world. 347 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,634 Max. 348 00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,636 Your father is sorry. He had to work. 349 00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,459 He said he was gonna be here. He promised. 350 00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:41,763 I know, but he promises that he is gonna see you tomorrow. 351 00:19:41,863 --> 00:19:46,274 Okay? He's gonna pick you up from school. All right? 352 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:52,383 So come on. Make a wish. 353 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:09,133 I wish that for only one day Dad couldn't tell a lie. 354 00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:40,863 That was incredible. 355 00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:44,659 Was it good for you? 356 00:20:44,759 --> 00:20:46,144 I've had better. 357 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,215 "I've had better"? 358 00:20:59,725 --> 00:21:01,693 "I've had better"? 359 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,500 "I've had better"? 360 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,124 Hi. Hi. 361 00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:36,144 New in the building? 362 00:21:36,244 --> 00:21:37,679 Yeah, I just moved in Monday. 363 00:21:37,779 --> 00:21:40,115 Oh! You like it so far? 364 00:21:40,215 --> 00:21:42,450 Mmm-hmm. Everybody's been real nice. 365 00:21:42,550 --> 00:21:45,487 Well, that's because you have big jugs. 366 00:21:45,587 --> 00:21:47,689 I mean, your boobs are huge. 367 00:21:47,789 --> 00:21:50,208 I mean, I wanna squeeze them. 368 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,545 Mama. 369 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,142 Any change, mister? 370 00:22:07,242 --> 00:22:08,343 Absolutely. 371 00:22:08,443 --> 00:22:09,544 Could you spare some? 372 00:22:09,644 --> 00:22:10,645 Yes, I could. 373 00:22:10,745 --> 00:22:13,314 Will you? How come? 374 00:22:13,414 --> 00:22:15,483 Because I believe you will buy booze with it! 375 00:22:15,583 --> 00:22:17,352 I just wanna get to the office 376 00:22:17,452 --> 00:22:20,822 without being confronted by the decay of Western society! 377 00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:22,140 Plus, I'm cheap! 378 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:26,610 Jerk-off! 379 00:22:57,243 --> 00:22:59,394 You look like you're having a rough morning. 380 00:22:59,494 --> 00:23:03,245 Ding, ding, ding! What do we have for her, Johnny? 381 00:23:04,149 --> 00:23:05,233 Fletcher. 382 00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:06,333 Dana. 383 00:23:07,086 --> 00:23:08,436 All right, Samantha. 384 00:23:08,536 --> 00:23:10,331 How much will it take to put an end to all this? 385 00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:11,940 Fifty percent of your estate. 386 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,342 Fifty percent? 387 00:23:14,442 --> 00:23:17,779 With a pre-nup and proof of adultery? What's your case? 388 00:23:17,879 --> 00:23:20,128 Our case is simply this. 389 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:04,392 Very funny, Fletcher! 390 00:24:04,492 --> 00:24:08,263 You wanna play hardball? I'm game. 391 00:24:08,363 --> 00:24:11,266 "You wanna play hardball? I'm game." 392 00:24:11,366 --> 00:24:14,002 What are you doing? What is wrong with you? 393 00:24:14,102 --> 00:24:18,072 All rise for the Honorable Judge Marshall Stevens. 394 00:24:18,172 --> 00:24:19,190 Honorable? 395 00:24:21,493 --> 00:24:27,015 Good morning. Call case number BD-00305. 396 00:24:27,115 --> 00:24:29,884 Samantha Cole v. Richard Cole. 397 00:24:29,984 --> 00:24:31,619 How are we doing this morning, Counsel? 398 00:24:31,719 --> 00:24:33,121 Fine. Thank you. 399 00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,689 And you, Mr. Reede? 400 00:24:34,789 --> 00:24:38,199 I'm a little upset about a bad sexual episode last night. 401 00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:45,366 Well, you're still young. It'll happen more and more. 402 00:24:45,466 --> 00:24:49,081 In the meantime, what do you say we get down to business? 403 00:24:50,055 --> 00:24:52,874 First, Mr. Reede, I see... 404 00:24:52,974 --> 00:24:55,076 I would like a continuance! 405 00:24:55,176 --> 00:24:58,947 This case has been delayed several times, Mr. Reede. 406 00:24:59,047 --> 00:25:03,731 I realize that, Your Honor, but I would really, really like a continuance. 407 00:25:04,436 --> 00:25:07,099 I'll have to hear good cause, Counsel. 408 00:25:07,706 --> 00:25:09,470 What's the problem? 409 00:25:18,617 --> 00:25:21,017 I can't lie! 410 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,872 Commendable, Mr. Reede, but I'm waiting to hear good cause. 411 00:25:24,972 --> 00:25:26,574 Do you have one or not? 412 00:25:26,674 --> 00:25:27,650 Not. 413 00:25:27,750 --> 00:25:29,820 Motion for continuance denied. 414 00:25:30,496 --> 00:25:32,780 Is there any chance of a settlement in this case? 415 00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,082 I don't think so, Your Honor. 416 00:25:34,182 --> 00:25:38,453 My client has already offered Mrs. Cole $2.4 million. 417 00:25:38,553 --> 00:25:41,255 But Mr. Reede has made it clear he has no desire... 418 00:25:41,355 --> 00:25:42,490 Settle! 419 00:25:42,590 --> 00:25:44,192 Settle, settle, settle, settle! 420 00:25:44,292 --> 00:25:46,027 I don't want to settle. 421 00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:50,498 Mr. Reede. You convinced me yesterday, I'm the victim! 422 00:25:50,598 --> 00:25:54,435 I'm starved for affection. I'm driven into the arms of another man. 423 00:25:54,535 --> 00:25:56,537 Seven! Yeah, whatever. 424 00:25:56,637 --> 00:25:59,674 With the story you came up with, I don't think we can lose. 425 00:25:59,774 --> 00:26:01,809 I want to proceed. 426 00:26:01,909 --> 00:26:04,245 Mrs. Cole, you don't understand. 427 00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:06,681 Mr. Reede. Do we have a settlement? 428 00:26:06,781 --> 00:26:07,781 No! 429 00:26:12,938 --> 00:26:13,988 No, Your Honor. 430 00:26:14,088 --> 00:26:15,632 There's no settlement. 431 00:26:16,508 --> 00:26:18,843 Trial to commence 1:30 sharp. 432 00:26:37,930 --> 00:26:39,830 It was me! 433 00:26:43,402 --> 00:26:45,753 Hi, Mr. Reede! Like the new dress? 434 00:26:45,853 --> 00:26:48,535 Whatever takes the focus off your head. 435 00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:52,026 What's up, Fletcher? 436 00:26:52,126 --> 00:26:55,296 Your cholesterol, fatty! Dead man walking. 437 00:26:55,396 --> 00:26:56,731 Hey, Fletcher. Hey! 438 00:26:56,831 --> 00:26:58,265 You're not important enough to remember. 439 00:26:58,365 --> 00:26:59,332 What's it gonna be, Mr. Reede? 440 00:26:59,432 --> 00:27:00,868 A pockmark, eventually! 441 00:27:00,968 --> 00:27:04,355 Don't ask! For God's sakes, don't ask. 442 00:27:04,890 --> 00:27:07,175 All right. You can beat this. 443 00:27:07,275 --> 00:27:09,751 It's all a matter of willpower! 444 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:13,121 A test. Something small. 445 00:27:19,204 --> 00:27:23,937 Red. Red. All right? Now focus. 446 00:27:24,176 --> 00:27:26,577 The color of this pen is... 447 00:27:30,516 --> 00:27:33,815 The color of this pen is... 448 00:27:41,093 --> 00:27:46,190 The color of the pen that I hold in my hand is... 449 00:27:47,966 --> 00:27:50,166 royal blue! 450 00:27:54,039 --> 00:27:57,066 One lie, and I can't say it! 451 00:27:58,110 --> 00:28:00,044 I'll write it. 452 00:28:27,573 --> 00:28:30,667 Write it! Write it, or I'll break it off! 453 00:28:37,416 --> 00:28:40,818 No! Come on! Stop it. 454 00:28:50,796 --> 00:28:53,265 Boss? What happened? 455 00:28:57,769 --> 00:29:01,205 The pen is blue. The pen is blue! 456 00:29:01,406 --> 00:29:05,104 The goddamn pen is blue! 457 00:29:07,946 --> 00:29:09,897 Mr. Reede, are you all right? 458 00:29:09,997 --> 00:29:11,632 I gotta go home. 459 00:29:11,732 --> 00:29:13,301 Home? Was the case settled? 460 00:29:13,401 --> 00:29:16,082 No! I have to be in court at 1:30! 461 00:29:16,555 --> 00:29:18,105 Then how are you going to go home? 462 00:29:18,205 --> 00:29:21,375 I don't know. I don't know. 463 00:29:21,475 --> 00:29:25,279 Okay. Mr. Reede, Reuben and Dunn called. 464 00:29:25,379 --> 00:29:28,282 They need to know where the Darby settlement offer stands. 465 00:29:28,382 --> 00:29:31,166 I just proposed a settlement to dick with them! 466 00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:35,723 Dick with them. Got it. 467 00:29:35,823 --> 00:29:37,458 And your mother called. 468 00:29:37,558 --> 00:29:38,859 Are you still on vacation? 469 00:29:38,959 --> 00:29:39,959 No. 470 00:29:40,312 --> 00:29:42,363 Then you're here? Yes. 471 00:29:42,463 --> 00:29:44,332 Thank you for clearing that up, sir. 472 00:29:44,432 --> 00:29:46,200 And your ex-wife called. 473 00:29:46,300 --> 00:29:48,636 She wants to know when you're coming to pick up your son. 474 00:29:48,736 --> 00:29:51,247 Oh, I'm such a shit! 475 00:29:57,496 --> 00:29:59,080 Hello. Audrey? 476 00:29:59,180 --> 00:30:01,916 Fletcher, hi. Are you still picking Max up from school today? 477 00:30:02,016 --> 00:30:03,985 Here's the thing. I really can't! 478 00:30:04,085 --> 00:30:06,087 I had a case I was certain would settle, 479 00:30:06,187 --> 00:30:08,155 and it didn't, and I have to go to court. 480 00:30:08,255 --> 00:30:11,768 Right. It's true! I really want to see Max today! 481 00:30:12,544 --> 00:30:14,028 I really do. 482 00:30:14,128 --> 00:30:16,464 But things just keep coming up at the last minute. 483 00:30:16,564 --> 00:30:17,894 Yes, but this time it's different. 484 00:30:17,994 --> 00:30:19,533 I see. How is that? 485 00:30:19,633 --> 00:30:21,002 Now I'm telling the truth. 486 00:30:21,102 --> 00:30:22,403 And last night you weren't. No. 487 00:30:22,503 --> 00:30:23,704 Well, what were you doing? 488 00:30:23,804 --> 00:30:25,621 Having sex! 489 00:30:26,758 --> 00:30:29,677 Well, I hope that it was with someone very special. 490 00:30:29,777 --> 00:30:33,047 No! That's the thing. I don't even like her, but she's a partner. 491 00:30:33,147 --> 00:30:36,200 I thought I could help my career by making her squeal. 492 00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:44,558 What's wrong with me? 493 00:30:44,658 --> 00:30:47,841 I'm getting what I deserve. I'm reaping what I sow. I'm... 494 00:30:58,657 --> 00:31:00,307 Is Dad still picking me up? 495 00:31:00,407 --> 00:31:02,384 No, Max, he's not. 496 00:31:03,228 --> 00:31:06,380 I'm sorry, but I'm gonna pick you up, okay? 497 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,349 I'll work it out. 498 00:31:08,449 --> 00:31:10,518 I guess my wish didn't come true. 499 00:31:10,618 --> 00:31:11,752 What wish? 500 00:31:11,852 --> 00:31:15,406 I wished that for just one day Dad couldn't tell a lie. 501 00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,546 Max? 502 00:31:26,518 --> 00:31:29,904 I have something important to talk to you about, okay? 503 00:31:30,004 --> 00:31:31,479 Okay. Okay. 504 00:31:39,831 --> 00:31:40,981 Hello? 505 00:31:41,081 --> 00:31:44,151 Audrey! Let me explain. Something has happened to me. 506 00:31:44,251 --> 00:31:46,287 Well, something else is about to happen to you. 507 00:31:46,387 --> 00:31:47,955 Max and I are moving to Boston. 508 00:31:48,055 --> 00:31:49,031 What? 509 00:31:49,131 --> 00:31:50,391 Jerry has asked me to marry him, 510 00:31:50,491 --> 00:31:53,327 and Max and I are going this weekend to look at houses. 511 00:31:53,427 --> 00:31:54,995 I thought it was semi-serious! 512 00:31:55,095 --> 00:31:57,932 It's just been given a violent shove into serious. 513 00:31:58,032 --> 00:32:00,501 You can't move to Boston, I'll never see Max! 514 00:32:00,601 --> 00:32:03,971 You'll have the same relationship you have with him now, won't you? 515 00:32:04,071 --> 00:32:05,806 Where are you? I'm going home. 516 00:32:05,906 --> 00:32:09,076 When you get there, just stay there. I'm coming over. We have to talk. 517 00:32:09,176 --> 00:32:11,255 Fletcher! I'll be right there. 518 00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,733 Hey, Mr. Reede... 519 00:32:25,577 --> 00:32:28,239 Fletcher. Holy hell! 520 00:32:32,484 --> 00:32:35,283 You can run, but you can't hide. 521 00:32:40,826 --> 00:32:42,710 What's your problem, schmuck? 522 00:32:42,810 --> 00:32:45,491 I'm an inconsiderate prick! 523 00:33:09,287 --> 00:33:11,087 Oh, shit! 524 00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:16,794 Shit! 525 00:33:25,103 --> 00:33:26,453 You know why I pulled you over? 526 00:33:26,553 --> 00:33:29,269 Depends on how long you were following me! 527 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:31,908 Why don't we take it from the top? 528 00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:33,527 Here goes. 529 00:33:33,627 --> 00:33:35,729 I sped, I followed too closely, I ran a stop sign, 530 00:33:35,829 --> 00:33:38,399 I almost hit a Chevy, I sped some more, I failed to yield, 531 00:33:38,499 --> 00:33:43,445 I changed lanes without signaling while speeding! 532 00:33:44,522 --> 00:33:45,573 Is that all? 533 00:33:45,673 --> 00:33:46,673 No. 534 00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:51,185 I have unpaid parking tickets. 535 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:56,694 Be gentle. 536 00:33:59,771 --> 00:34:02,172 Audrey! Wait! 537 00:34:05,210 --> 00:34:08,462 Wait, Audrey. Hold on. Wait! 538 00:34:08,562 --> 00:34:12,833 Wait. I just had an insight into myself. I'm crazy. 539 00:34:12,933 --> 00:34:16,570 You call and say, "Wait, I'll be right over," 540 00:34:16,670 --> 00:34:19,039 and here's the crazy part, I actually wait. 541 00:34:19,139 --> 00:34:20,207 I can explain this. 542 00:34:20,307 --> 00:34:23,177 I have missed a department meeting. 543 00:34:23,277 --> 00:34:25,279 Did you come in a cab? Yes! 544 00:34:25,379 --> 00:34:27,059 Where's your car? 545 00:34:29,401 --> 00:34:32,253 Thank you! I can't tell you how much this means to me. 546 00:34:32,353 --> 00:34:35,456 I can. $1,654.11. 547 00:34:35,556 --> 00:34:37,669 How do you sleep at night? 548 00:34:41,012 --> 00:34:42,742 I'm taking this. 549 00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:55,018 You scratched my car! 550 00:34:55,660 --> 00:34:56,860 Where? 551 00:34:57,195 --> 00:34:59,595 Right there! 552 00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:04,157 Oh, there. That was already there. 553 00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:07,036 Why, you... 554 00:35:07,939 --> 00:35:09,739 You liar! 555 00:35:10,375 --> 00:35:11,760 You know what I'm gonna do about this? 556 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:12,769 What? 557 00:35:12,869 --> 00:35:16,664 Nothing! Because if I take you to court, it'll drain eight hours out of my life, 558 00:35:16,764 --> 00:35:17,831 and you won't show up, 559 00:35:17,931 --> 00:35:20,367 and if I got the judgment, you'd just stiff me anyway! 560 00:35:20,467 --> 00:35:23,904 So I'm gonna piss and moan like an impotent jerk 561 00:35:24,004 --> 00:35:27,448 and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe! 562 00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,826 You been here before, haven't you? 563 00:35:32,030 --> 00:35:34,148 Well, I can't remember when I've had more fun, 564 00:35:34,248 --> 00:35:36,450 but if you'll excuse me, I have a class. 565 00:35:36,550 --> 00:35:38,554 Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me? 566 00:35:38,654 --> 00:35:40,921 No, I divorced you because I was mad at you. 567 00:35:41,021 --> 00:35:42,389 Wait. I want to talk about this! 568 00:35:42,489 --> 00:35:43,924 What do you want to say? 569 00:35:44,024 --> 00:35:47,361 Is this guy right for you? He is so not me! 570 00:35:47,461 --> 00:35:48,929 That's one of his best qualities. 571 00:35:49,029 --> 00:35:52,066 But he's kind of a magoo. 572 00:35:52,166 --> 00:35:54,201 I'm sorry. You're wrong. 573 00:35:54,301 --> 00:35:56,804 Sometimes maybe he is a little... 574 00:35:56,904 --> 00:35:58,055 Magoo! 575 00:35:58,289 --> 00:36:00,407 Yes. But since we've been going out... 576 00:36:00,507 --> 00:36:02,458 My God, I'm not having this conversation with you. 577 00:36:02,558 --> 00:36:03,644 Audrey, you can't go. 578 00:36:03,744 --> 00:36:04,845 This is not fair. 579 00:36:04,945 --> 00:36:05,921 Fair? 580 00:36:06,021 --> 00:36:11,085 Okay, let's define fair. Last night a 5-year-old boy was crushed 581 00:36:11,185 --> 00:36:15,055 because his father lied to him about coming to his birthday party. 582 00:36:15,155 --> 00:36:17,157 Fair? Last night... 583 00:36:17,257 --> 00:36:18,575 Was none of my business. Thank you. 584 00:36:18,675 --> 00:36:19,667 None of my business. 585 00:36:19,767 --> 00:36:23,230 Two years ago, it was my business. But I don't have to care anymore. 586 00:36:23,330 --> 00:36:26,800 That's the magic of divorce. But it matters to Max! 587 00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:30,237 Everything you do matters, and everything you don't do. 588 00:36:30,337 --> 00:36:32,539 All right. Now let me tell you something. 589 00:36:32,639 --> 00:36:34,559 I'm a bad father! 590 00:36:37,462 --> 00:36:39,262 I mean... 591 00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:46,468 I'm a bad father. 592 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:53,227 You're not a bad father, when you show up. 593 00:36:53,327 --> 00:36:56,130 What if I come right after court and play ball? 594 00:36:56,230 --> 00:36:59,299 Then you and I can talk before you make any rash decisions! 595 00:36:59,399 --> 00:37:01,268 No, we are leaving tonight. 596 00:37:01,368 --> 00:37:04,638 Please, Audrey. Give me one more chance. 597 00:37:04,738 --> 00:37:07,141 I'm throwing myself on the mercy of the court. 598 00:37:07,241 --> 00:37:12,357 I lost you, but please don't make me lose Max, too. 599 00:37:14,966 --> 00:37:18,402 Give me a chance to be the father I started out to be. 600 00:37:24,275 --> 00:37:25,626 You're really coming? 601 00:37:25,726 --> 00:37:27,494 This is ironclad. 602 00:37:27,594 --> 00:37:31,265 This is the mother of all promises. What time? 603 00:37:31,365 --> 00:37:32,833 Okay, 6:00. 604 00:37:32,933 --> 00:37:33,925 5:50. 605 00:37:34,025 --> 00:37:35,335 All right. 606 00:37:35,435 --> 00:37:39,273 All right. But if I tell Max that you're coming, 607 00:37:39,373 --> 00:37:42,743 and you don't show up and I have to see that look on his face, 608 00:37:42,843 --> 00:37:44,523 that heartbreaking look, 609 00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:47,714 we're going to Boston. 610 00:37:47,814 --> 00:37:50,718 If I don't show up, I'll pack you myself. 611 00:37:50,818 --> 00:37:54,254 I will lovingly wrap your nicknacks with bubble paper. 612 00:37:54,354 --> 00:37:55,967 I hope so. 613 00:37:57,809 --> 00:38:01,108 Do you know what your son was doing at 8:15 last night? 614 00:38:01,779 --> 00:38:04,932 He was making a birthday wish that for just one day 615 00:38:05,032 --> 00:38:06,951 his father couldn't tell a lie. 616 00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:15,925 Oh, my God! That's it! 617 00:38:16,694 --> 00:38:18,979 "I do not like them, Sam I Am. 618 00:38:19,079 --> 00:38:21,727 "I do not like green eggs and ham. 619 00:38:22,133 --> 00:38:24,518 "Would you like them here or there? 620 00:38:24,618 --> 00:38:25,638 "I would not like them..." 621 00:38:25,738 --> 00:38:27,035 Excuse me. 622 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:31,625 Hi. I'm Max's bad father... I'm his father. 623 00:38:31,725 --> 00:38:32,725 Dad! 624 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:35,914 Could I borrow him for just one second? 625 00:38:36,748 --> 00:38:38,565 Monster Max! 626 00:38:38,665 --> 00:38:40,768 You came to play catch? 627 00:38:40,868 --> 00:38:43,770 I'd like to, but I can't. I gotta talk to you. 628 00:38:43,870 --> 00:38:48,242 Your mommy told me about that wish you made last night. It came true, Max. 629 00:38:48,342 --> 00:38:50,310 Really? You mean you have to tell the truth? 630 00:38:50,410 --> 00:38:51,403 Yes. 631 00:38:51,503 --> 00:38:53,247 No matter what? No matter what! 632 00:38:53,347 --> 00:38:54,481 Is wrestling real? 633 00:38:54,581 --> 00:38:56,550 In the Olympics, yes. On channel 23, no. 634 00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:59,119 Will sitting too close to the TV set make me go blind? 635 00:38:59,219 --> 00:39:00,587 Not in a million years. 636 00:39:00,687 --> 00:39:03,657 If I keep making this face, will it get stuck that way? 637 00:39:03,757 --> 00:39:04,758 Uh-uh. 638 00:39:04,858 --> 00:39:06,971 In fact some people make a good living that way. 639 00:39:10,081 --> 00:39:13,100 Now listen, Max. You've gotta do something for me. 640 00:39:13,200 --> 00:39:15,836 I need you to take back that wish. 641 00:39:15,936 --> 00:39:17,204 So you can lie? 642 00:39:17,304 --> 00:39:18,296 Yes. 643 00:39:18,396 --> 00:39:21,325 But not to you. You see, Max, 644 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:26,226 sometimes grownups need to lie. 645 00:39:27,332 --> 00:39:29,664 It's hard to explain, but if... 646 00:39:30,969 --> 00:39:32,486 Look, here's a good example. 647 00:39:32,586 --> 00:39:35,455 When your mommy was pregnant with you, she gained 40 pounds, 648 00:39:35,555 --> 00:39:36,990 there was nothing she wouldn't eat. 649 00:39:37,090 --> 00:39:39,511 And Daddy was scared. But when she'd ask me, "How do I look?" 650 00:39:39,611 --> 00:39:43,931 I'd say, "Honey, you look great. You're glowing." 651 00:39:44,031 --> 00:39:45,655 If I had told Mommy she looked like a cow, 652 00:39:45,755 --> 00:39:46,873 it would have hurt her feelings. 653 00:39:46,973 --> 00:39:47,954 Understand? 654 00:39:48,054 --> 00:39:50,470 My teacher tells me real beauty's on the inside. 655 00:39:50,570 --> 00:39:53,116 That's just something ugly people say. 656 00:39:53,992 --> 00:39:56,143 Max, no one can survive in the adult world 657 00:39:56,243 --> 00:39:57,878 if they have to stick to the truth. 658 00:39:57,978 --> 00:40:00,147 I could lose my case, I could lose my promotion, 659 00:40:00,247 --> 00:40:01,915 I could even lose my job. 660 00:40:02,015 --> 00:40:04,218 Now, I need your help, Max. 661 00:40:04,318 --> 00:40:05,318 Okay. 662 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:10,657 Okay. Do whatever you did last night, 663 00:40:10,757 --> 00:40:15,043 only this time, make it an "unwish." 664 00:40:24,255 --> 00:40:25,472 I did it. 665 00:40:25,572 --> 00:40:26,820 Excellent! 666 00:40:27,558 --> 00:40:30,027 Now, I just need a little test. 667 00:40:49,314 --> 00:40:50,330 Did it work? 668 00:40:50,430 --> 00:40:52,680 Not like I'd hoped. Did you unwish it? 669 00:40:53,418 --> 00:40:54,501 Only... 670 00:40:54,601 --> 00:40:55,903 What? Only what? 671 00:40:56,003 --> 00:40:59,406 Yesterday, when I wished it, I really meant it. 672 00:40:59,506 --> 00:41:03,621 This time when I unwished it, I only did it 'cause you told me to. 673 00:41:04,062 --> 00:41:08,248 All right. Do it again. And this time, mean it. 674 00:41:08,348 --> 00:41:09,349 But I can't! 675 00:41:09,449 --> 00:41:10,784 Why not? 676 00:41:10,884 --> 00:41:12,386 'Cause I don't want you to lie. 677 00:41:12,486 --> 00:41:14,154 I explained this. 678 00:41:14,254 --> 00:41:17,591 I have to lie. Everybody lies. 679 00:41:17,691 --> 00:41:21,044 Mommy lies. Even the wonderful Jerry lies. 680 00:41:21,179 --> 00:41:24,171 But you're the only one that makes me feel bad. 681 00:41:25,883 --> 00:41:29,411 Max, recess is over. Come on in! 682 00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:36,243 Mom says we're moving to Boston. 683 00:41:36,343 --> 00:41:39,713 That isn't for sure yet. 684 00:41:39,813 --> 00:41:42,597 She promised we'd talk about it tonight. 685 00:41:43,735 --> 00:41:45,464 I am coming! 686 00:41:45,636 --> 00:41:48,037 You believe me, don't you, Max? 687 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,202 I'll see you later, buddy. 688 00:42:01,285 --> 00:42:02,703 Fletcher. How's it hanging? 689 00:42:02,803 --> 00:42:05,450 Short, shriveled and always to the left. 690 00:42:09,227 --> 00:42:12,846 Boss, it's Skull. He knocked over another ATM. 691 00:42:12,946 --> 00:42:16,561 This time at knife-point. He needs your legal advice. 692 00:42:20,838 --> 00:42:24,468 Stop breaking the law, asshole! 693 00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:34,468 Boss, are you all right? 694 00:42:34,568 --> 00:42:36,953 My son hates me. 695 00:42:38,156 --> 00:42:42,718 Max loves you. I've seen you together. You're his hero. 696 00:42:43,461 --> 00:42:44,792 Oh, yeah? 697 00:42:46,164 --> 00:42:49,683 Last night at his birthday party, he made a wish 698 00:42:49,783 --> 00:42:53,068 that I wouldn't be able to lie for one whole day. 699 00:42:53,671 --> 00:42:54,663 Kids. 700 00:42:54,763 --> 00:42:55,899 It came true. 701 00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:58,705 What? Max's wish! 702 00:42:59,377 --> 00:43:00,936 It came true. 703 00:43:07,518 --> 00:43:10,704 Boss, maybe you should just take a few days off. 704 00:43:10,804 --> 00:43:15,158 Greta! Didn't it seem weird to you that I kept telling the truth all morning? 705 00:43:15,293 --> 00:43:17,193 Well, yeah. But... 706 00:43:19,096 --> 00:43:22,682 What are you saying? That you are incapable of lying? 707 00:43:22,782 --> 00:43:26,086 That's right! I am incapable of lying! 708 00:43:26,186 --> 00:43:27,654 Just for today? 709 00:43:27,754 --> 00:43:30,390 Apparently. 'Til 8:15 tonight. 710 00:43:30,490 --> 00:43:32,535 It's one of those 24-hour curses. 711 00:43:33,044 --> 00:43:34,628 Those are going around. 712 00:43:34,728 --> 00:43:35,858 You don't believe me, do you? 713 00:43:35,958 --> 00:43:37,380 Of course not. 714 00:43:38,683 --> 00:43:40,600 How ironic! 715 00:43:40,700 --> 00:43:44,771 Okay. Ask me something you think I would normally lie about. 716 00:43:44,871 --> 00:43:48,975 All right. Remember a couple of months ago when I wanted a raise? 717 00:43:49,075 --> 00:43:52,245 I don't want to do this. And the company wouldn't give me one 718 00:43:52,345 --> 00:43:55,182 and I asked if you would give it to me out of your own pocket. 719 00:43:55,282 --> 00:43:57,751 And you said the company would not allow it, 720 00:43:57,851 --> 00:44:01,555 because it would create jealousy among the other secretaries. 721 00:44:01,655 --> 00:44:06,566 Was that true, or did you just not want to pony up the dough? 722 00:44:09,180 --> 00:44:11,198 Greta, please! 723 00:44:11,298 --> 00:44:15,769 Judge Stevens, hi! Fletcher Reede. I'm scheduled in your court in half an hour. 724 00:44:15,869 --> 00:44:19,873 Judge Stevens, I badly, badly need a continuance. Ill? 725 00:44:19,973 --> 00:44:23,777 Am I ill? That is the perfect question for you to ask. 726 00:44:23,877 --> 00:44:25,178 Please lie for me! 727 00:44:25,278 --> 00:44:26,480 I remember when you bought me 728 00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:29,728 this antique frame from Tiffany's... Tiffany's? 729 00:44:30,635 --> 00:44:33,937 Garage sale. $6.50, marked down from ten. 730 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,368 I'll give you the raise! 731 00:44:39,310 --> 00:44:41,278 Here's your raise. 732 00:44:43,014 --> 00:44:46,433 Hi, Judge Stevens! I know I haven't given you an answer. 733 00:44:46,533 --> 00:44:49,503 But illness could mean so many things. 734 00:44:49,603 --> 00:44:52,148 Can you hold? Hello? Mom! 735 00:44:52,623 --> 00:44:56,219 Hi! I wasn't really on vacation. 736 00:44:56,527 --> 00:44:58,945 Because I didn't want to talk to you! 737 00:44:59,045 --> 00:45:03,116 Because you insist on talking about Dad's bowel movements, size, color, frequency! 738 00:45:03,216 --> 00:45:05,932 I'll call you later! Hello? 739 00:45:06,304 --> 00:45:08,522 Oh, damn it! I cut him off. 740 00:45:08,622 --> 00:45:11,406 I cut off the judge! 741 00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:18,598 Greta! Don't leave! 742 00:45:18,698 --> 00:45:22,313 I'm on my knees in a $000 suit! 743 00:45:23,454 --> 00:45:28,675 Mr. Reede. Several years ago, a friend had a burglar on her roof. 744 00:45:28,775 --> 00:45:33,580 He fell through the skylight, landed on a butcher's knife, cutting his leg. 745 00:45:33,680 --> 00:45:37,150 The burglar sued my friend. He sued my friend! 746 00:45:37,250 --> 00:45:39,386 Because of guys like you, he won! 747 00:45:39,486 --> 00:45:43,823 My friend had to pay the burglar $6,000. Is that justice? 748 00:45:43,923 --> 00:45:47,242 No. I'd have got him $10,000. 749 00:45:48,679 --> 00:45:49,896 Goodbye, Mr. Reede. 750 00:45:49,996 --> 00:45:50,997 No, wait! 751 00:45:51,097 --> 00:45:53,733 I didn't understand! Ask me again! 752 00:45:53,833 --> 00:45:55,001 Have a nice day in court. 753 00:45:55,101 --> 00:45:56,213 Greta! 754 00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:59,921 Hi. God in heaven! 755 00:46:00,524 --> 00:46:02,976 It's nice to see you too, Fletcher. Are you busy? 756 00:46:03,076 --> 00:46:04,060 Extremely. 757 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,154 Good. Would you follow me, please? 758 00:46:10,701 --> 00:46:12,452 Did you know that the partnership committee 759 00:46:12,552 --> 00:46:14,494 is headed by Mr. Allan himself? 760 00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:18,371 You used to work directly for Mr. Allan. Yeah. 761 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,344 Tell me. What do you think of him? 762 00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:25,532 He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard! 763 00:46:25,632 --> 00:46:26,700 A belligerent old fart! 764 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:30,380 A steaming pile of cow dung! Figuratively speaking. 765 00:46:30,621 --> 00:46:34,182 Really? How delightful. This way. 766 00:46:35,826 --> 00:46:40,355 Pardon me for interrupting. Mr. Allan, you remember Fletcher Reede? 767 00:46:41,532 --> 00:46:44,384 Oh, yes! Nice to see you again, Fletcher. 768 00:46:44,484 --> 00:46:47,554 I'll be observing you in court this afternoon. 769 00:46:47,654 --> 00:46:50,490 I've been hearing some good things about you. 770 00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:55,479 Well, Fletcher has just been telling me how much he thinks of you. 771 00:46:55,646 --> 00:47:00,049 Why don't you tell Mr. Allan? Well, what do you think of him? 772 00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:10,777 He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard! 773 00:47:10,877 --> 00:47:15,459 A belligerent old fart. A worthless, steaming pile of cow dung. 774 00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:19,534 Figuratively speaking. 775 00:47:40,257 --> 00:47:42,976 That's the funniest damn thing I've ever heard! 776 00:47:43,076 --> 00:47:45,378 You're a real card, Reede! 777 00:47:45,478 --> 00:47:47,796 I love a good roast! 778 00:47:49,066 --> 00:47:51,126 Do Simmons! 779 00:47:51,435 --> 00:47:52,903 Simmons is old! 780 00:47:54,739 --> 00:47:56,423 He should have been out years ago, 781 00:47:56,523 --> 00:47:59,568 but he can't stay home 'cause he hates his wife! 782 00:48:01,112 --> 00:48:02,729 You've met her at the Christmas parties. 783 00:48:02,829 --> 00:48:05,943 She's the one that gets plastered and calls him a retard. 784 00:48:06,417 --> 00:48:10,570 And you, Tom. You're the biggest brown nose I've ever seen! 785 00:48:10,670 --> 00:48:12,605 You've got your head so far up Mr. Allan's ass, 786 00:48:12,705 --> 00:48:15,490 I can't tell where you end and he begins! 787 00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:17,650 Priceless! 788 00:48:20,030 --> 00:48:22,248 You have bad breath caused by gingivitis. 789 00:48:22,348 --> 00:48:24,250 You couldn't get a porn star off. 790 00:48:24,350 --> 00:48:27,087 Your hairpiece looks like something that was killed. 791 00:48:27,187 --> 00:48:31,472 I don't know whether to comb it or scrape it off and bury it in lime! 792 00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:36,963 Loser! Idiot! Wimp! Degenerate! 793 00:48:37,063 --> 00:48:38,063 Slut! 794 00:48:40,885 --> 00:48:45,572 I like your style, Reede! That's what this stuffy company needs! 795 00:48:45,672 --> 00:48:47,173 A little irreverence! 796 00:48:47,273 --> 00:48:50,057 Good! I'll see you later, dick-head! 797 00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:53,731 Dick-head! Priceless! 798 00:49:11,315 --> 00:49:13,333 Keep your eye on that boy. 799 00:49:13,433 --> 00:49:14,817 Dick-head! 800 00:49:35,739 --> 00:49:38,925 Third District Court is now in session. 801 00:49:39,025 --> 00:49:43,243 The honorable Judge Marshall Stevens presiding. 802 00:49:44,381 --> 00:49:46,281 Afternoon, Counselors. 803 00:49:46,584 --> 00:49:48,268 Are we ready to begin? 804 00:49:48,368 --> 00:49:49,669 No, sir! 805 00:49:49,769 --> 00:49:53,440 We are not ready to begin because my client has not arrived! 806 00:49:53,540 --> 00:49:55,508 Hurry up! Move it, move it! 807 00:49:55,608 --> 00:49:58,344 Here she comes to wreck the day 808 00:49:58,444 --> 00:49:59,646 Mr. Reede! 809 00:49:59,746 --> 00:50:01,114 Sorry, Your Honor. 810 00:50:01,214 --> 00:50:05,932 Go, go, go. Lupe, you keep those kids quiet. I'm not even close to kidding. 811 00:50:06,403 --> 00:50:09,722 Sorry. Billy threw up in the car. 812 00:50:09,822 --> 00:50:11,825 You brought your kids to your divorce? 813 00:50:11,925 --> 00:50:13,927 Sympathy. Well, it's working. 814 00:50:14,027 --> 00:50:15,628 I feel sorry for them already. 815 00:50:15,728 --> 00:50:18,114 Miss Appleton, you may begin. 816 00:50:18,983 --> 00:50:21,434 From March 6 through June 12 817 00:50:21,534 --> 00:50:25,138 I surveyed Mrs. Cole at the behest of Mr. Cole. 818 00:50:25,238 --> 00:50:30,491 During that period, I noted that Mr. Cole left each day between 7:40 and 7:50. 819 00:50:31,161 --> 00:50:34,314 Thereafter Mrs. Cole would frequently have 820 00:50:34,414 --> 00:50:38,392 a male visitor arrive and stay from one to four hours. 821 00:50:38,936 --> 00:50:43,590 I was able to take several photographs of the male visitor. 822 00:50:43,690 --> 00:50:44,841 I see. 823 00:50:46,443 --> 00:50:50,196 Do you know what Mrs. Cole and her male visitor did 824 00:50:50,296 --> 00:50:53,308 during these frequent visits? 825 00:50:53,817 --> 00:50:56,569 Well, they were pretty good about keeping the shades drawn, 826 00:50:56,669 --> 00:51:01,285 but I was able to make a recording of one such session. 827 00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:06,913 Your Honor, as you are aware, under the terms of the prenuptial agreement, 828 00:51:07,013 --> 00:51:10,923 if Mrs. Cole commits adultery, she is entitled to nothing. 829 00:51:11,835 --> 00:51:16,102 With your permission, we'd like to play the following tape recording. 830 00:51:20,911 --> 00:51:23,029 Here comes big daddy! 831 00:51:23,129 --> 00:51:26,032 OAL, God! Do it to me! 832 00:51:26,132 --> 00:51:29,919 Do it to me! Harder! Harder! 833 00:51:35,392 --> 00:51:37,644 Oh, come on! 834 00:51:37,744 --> 00:51:39,646 Your Honor, how can it be proved 835 00:51:39,746 --> 00:51:43,416 that the male voice on that tape is not Mr. Cole himself? 836 00:51:43,516 --> 00:51:47,220 You are such a better lover than my husband! 837 00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:49,122 Your Honor, I object! 838 00:51:49,222 --> 00:51:50,823 And why is that, Mr. Reede? 839 00:51:50,923 --> 00:51:52,592 It's devastating to my case! 840 00:51:52,692 --> 00:51:53,793 Overruled. 841 00:51:53,893 --> 00:51:55,209 Good call! 842 00:51:56,180 --> 00:51:58,698 I gotta go. I haven't cleaned your pool. 843 00:51:58,798 --> 00:51:59,899 Your witness. 844 00:51:59,999 --> 00:52:01,145 All right. 845 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:05,714 Well, Mr. Reede, you may proceed. 846 00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:12,061 How? 847 00:52:37,488 --> 00:52:41,274 Your Honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break? 848 00:52:41,374 --> 00:52:42,375 Can't it wait? 849 00:52:42,475 --> 00:52:44,143 Yes, it can. 850 00:52:44,243 --> 00:52:46,758 But I've heard that if you hold it, it can damage the prostate gland, 851 00:52:46,858 --> 00:52:49,863 making it very difficult to get an erection! 852 00:52:50,367 --> 00:52:51,618 Is that true? 853 00:52:51,718 --> 00:52:52,966 It has to be. 854 00:52:54,338 --> 00:52:56,467 Well, in that case, I better take a little break myself. 855 00:52:56,567 --> 00:52:59,706 But you get back here immediately so we can finish this. 856 00:53:15,692 --> 00:53:20,289 How am I going to get out of this? 857 00:53:21,732 --> 00:53:24,332 Think. Think. 858 00:53:25,002 --> 00:53:26,202 Think! 859 00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:27,230 What the hell are you doing? 860 00:54:28,065 --> 00:54:32,627 I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind? 861 00:54:57,594 --> 00:54:59,912 I found him like this in the bathroom, Your Honor. 862 00:55:00,012 --> 00:55:02,014 Somebody beat the hell out of him. 863 00:55:02,114 --> 00:55:03,182 Who did this? 864 00:55:03,282 --> 00:55:04,997 A madman, Your Honor! 865 00:55:05,502 --> 00:55:08,354 A desperate fool at the end of his pitiful rope! 866 00:55:08,454 --> 00:55:10,123 What did he look like? 867 00:55:10,223 --> 00:55:14,160 About 6'2", 1A·0 pounds, big teeth, kind of gangly. 868 00:55:14,260 --> 00:55:16,262 Bailiff, have the deputy search the building. 869 00:55:16,362 --> 00:55:17,906 Yes, sir. 870 00:55:18,916 --> 00:55:21,476 Order! Order! 871 00:55:26,190 --> 00:55:29,809 Under the circumstances, I have no choice but to recess this case 872 00:55:29,909 --> 00:55:32,678 until 0:00 a.m. Tomorrow morning. 873 00:55:32,778 --> 00:55:35,927 Unless, of course, you feel you can still proceed. 874 00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:41,202 Can you? 875 00:55:46,610 --> 00:55:48,810 Yes, I can. 876 00:55:51,215 --> 00:55:54,066 I admire your courage, Mr. Reede. 877 00:55:54,166 --> 00:55:57,203 We'll take a short recess so that you can compose yourself, 878 00:55:57,303 --> 00:55:59,382 and then we'll get started. 879 00:56:08,665 --> 00:56:10,224 Here you go. 880 00:56:23,347 --> 00:56:25,178 Hello? Dad? 881 00:56:25,349 --> 00:56:27,900 Max? How's it going? 882 00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,770 Great. You know Paul and Emanuel from across the street? 883 00:56:30,870 --> 00:56:31,870 Yeah. 884 00:56:31,989 --> 00:56:34,540 Well, they never want to play baseball with me. 885 00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,876 But I told them I'm playing tonight with my dad. 886 00:56:36,976 --> 00:56:39,378 So now they want to play. Is that okay? 887 00:56:39,478 --> 00:56:42,215 Sure. The more the merrier. 888 00:56:42,315 --> 00:56:44,850 Coolest! Do you wanna be Jose Canseco? 889 00:56:44,950 --> 00:56:49,222 Oh, yeah. Who else is gonna hit that famous Nomo slider? 890 00:56:49,322 --> 00:56:50,523 Mr. Reede. 891 00:56:50,623 --> 00:56:52,758 I gotta go now, Max. 892 00:56:52,858 --> 00:56:56,128 I'll see you in a couple hours. Okay? Bye. 893 00:56:56,228 --> 00:56:57,442 Bye, Dad. 894 00:56:58,882 --> 00:57:02,301 He's really coming! I'm gonna go change. 895 00:57:02,401 --> 00:57:03,402 Okay, go ahead! 896 00:57:03,502 --> 00:57:04,502 Yeah! 897 00:57:08,959 --> 00:57:10,552 Mr. Reede! 898 00:57:11,194 --> 00:57:13,959 "Mr. Reede! Mr..." 899 00:57:16,166 --> 00:57:18,726 This is my lawyer. He's a little unorthodox. 900 00:57:20,904 --> 00:57:23,856 Mr. Reede, you remember Kenneth Falk, the man from the tape. 901 00:57:23,956 --> 00:57:25,024 How could I forget? 902 00:57:25,124 --> 00:57:26,559 Hey, how you doing? 903 00:57:26,659 --> 00:57:30,363 I've slipped into the seventh circle of hell! Thank you. You? 904 00:57:30,463 --> 00:57:32,832 Shouldn't we be going over our testimony right now? 905 00:57:32,932 --> 00:57:36,002 Basically, the plan is, I walk you through the tape. 906 00:57:36,102 --> 00:57:38,304 Step-by-step, I ask you questions. 907 00:57:38,404 --> 00:57:40,973 And we give the explanation you came up with. 908 00:57:41,073 --> 00:57:42,275 Exactly. 909 00:57:42,375 --> 00:57:44,293 All we gotta do is lie. That sounds simple enough. 910 00:57:44,393 --> 00:57:46,320 Doesn't it! 911 00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:48,581 Then I'll finish up with dramatic questions. 912 00:57:48,681 --> 00:57:50,216 Something like, 913 00:57:50,316 --> 00:57:55,805 "Mr. Falk, isn't it true that you and Mrs. Cole have never made..." 914 00:58:05,048 --> 00:58:07,433 Oh, God! I can't do it. 915 00:58:07,533 --> 00:58:11,580 I can't finish the question if I know the answer is a lie. 916 00:58:27,270 --> 00:58:29,398 You may proceed, Mr. Reede. 917 00:58:42,953 --> 00:58:44,648 Respondent calls... 918 00:58:46,990 --> 00:58:48,515 Kenneth Falk. 919 00:59:06,109 --> 00:59:07,827 Raise your right hand. 920 00:59:07,927 --> 00:59:09,064 Do you swear to tell the truth, 921 00:59:09,164 --> 00:59:11,292 the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? 922 00:59:11,392 --> 00:59:14,214 I do! I mean... 923 00:59:17,721 --> 00:59:18,721 I do. 924 00:59:26,029 --> 00:59:27,296 Mr. Falk. 925 00:59:32,536 --> 00:59:34,720 Do you know my client, Samantha Cole? 926 00:59:34,820 --> 00:59:35,820 Yes. 927 00:59:39,943 --> 00:59:44,530 Isn't it true that your relationship with my client is entirely platonic? 928 00:59:44,630 --> 00:59:46,606 I object, Your Honor! 929 00:59:47,050 --> 00:59:48,575 To yourself? 930 00:59:49,853 --> 00:59:50,853 Yeah. 931 00:59:51,254 --> 00:59:55,214 But I would like to rephrase the question. 932 00:59:58,061 --> 01:00:01,247 Mr. Falk, would I be accurate 933 01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:05,418 if I described your relationship with Mrs. Cole as totally professional? 934 01:00:05,518 --> 01:00:08,721 I object, Your Honor, and I move to strike! 935 01:00:08,821 --> 01:00:13,767 Mr. Reede, I don't know what you're on, but you better get to the point and quick. 936 01:00:15,679 --> 01:00:17,943 Thank you, sir. 937 01:00:21,885 --> 01:00:24,045 Is your relationship with my client entirely platonic? 938 01:00:24,170 --> 01:00:26,705 Not! Is not your relationship with my client, 939 01:00:26,805 --> 01:00:30,109 "Boink! Bad baby, bad baby!" 940 01:00:30,209 --> 01:00:32,378 Did you ever not make... 941 01:00:32,478 --> 01:00:33,879 Did you... 942 01:00:33,979 --> 01:00:35,448 Mr. Reede! 943 01:00:35,548 --> 01:00:39,685 You had sex with her every time you met, didn't you? Didn't you! Liar! 944 01:00:39,785 --> 01:00:40,842 He's badgering the witness. 945 01:00:40,942 --> 01:00:41,954 It's his witness. 946 01:00:42,054 --> 01:00:44,957 You slammed her! You dunked her donuts! You gave her dog a Snausage! 947 01:00:45,057 --> 01:00:47,534 You stuffed her like a Thanksgiving turkey! 948 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:53,732 All right, it's true, okay! I humped her brains out! 949 01:00:53,832 --> 01:00:55,752 There! Now you happy? 950 01:01:01,625 --> 01:01:03,889 No further questions. 951 01:01:22,879 --> 01:01:24,404 No questions. 952 01:01:26,283 --> 01:01:28,046 You may step down. 953 01:01:32,222 --> 01:01:35,556 Do I dare ask you to call your next witness? 954 01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:41,592 I have no further witnesses, Your Honor. 955 01:01:41,865 --> 01:01:44,750 What are you doing? Call me! 956 01:01:44,850 --> 01:01:47,887 You do not understand. I can't lie. 957 01:01:47,987 --> 01:01:51,156 I can't do anything dishonest until 8:15 tonight! 958 01:01:51,256 --> 01:01:54,226 Listen, you bastard! I want my money! 959 01:01:54,326 --> 01:01:57,429 I am not going to end up a 31-year-old divorcee on welfare 960 01:01:57,529 --> 01:02:01,349 because my scumbag attorney had a sudden attack of conscience! 961 01:02:02,152 --> 01:02:03,585 Thirty-one? 962 01:02:04,221 --> 01:02:06,639 If Mr. Reede has no further witnesses, 963 01:02:06,739 --> 01:02:09,875 then I have no choice but to rule in favor of... 964 01:02:09,975 --> 01:02:11,360 Your Honor! 965 01:02:13,797 --> 01:02:16,596 I call Samantha Cole to the stand. 966 01:02:19,035 --> 01:02:20,235 Order. 967 01:02:20,971 --> 01:02:23,571 Order! Order! 968 01:02:23,773 --> 01:02:24,857 Knock it off! 969 01:02:24,957 --> 01:02:26,171 Sit down! 970 01:02:28,044 --> 01:02:30,529 Mr. Reede, it is out of sheer morbid curiosity 971 01:02:30,629 --> 01:02:33,481 I'm allowing this freak show to continue. 972 01:02:36,286 --> 01:02:39,779 Mrs. Cole if you dare. 973 01:02:55,071 --> 01:02:56,403 Mrs. Cole, 974 01:02:57,707 --> 01:03:01,200 is this a copy of your driver's license? 975 01:03:03,046 --> 01:03:04,046 Yes. 976 01:03:04,447 --> 01:03:06,507 It says here you're a blonde. Are you? 977 01:03:07,317 --> 01:03:09,635 If you don't remember, perhaps Mr. Falk will. 978 01:03:09,735 --> 01:03:10,736 Brunette. 979 01:03:10,836 --> 01:03:12,547 We can play the tape again. Maybe it's on there. 980 01:03:12,647 --> 01:03:14,448 I'm a brunette! 981 01:03:15,191 --> 01:03:17,676 Thank you. Now let's see. 982 01:03:17,776 --> 01:03:21,513 "Weight, 105." Yeah! In your bra. 983 01:03:21,613 --> 01:03:23,649 Your Honor, I object! You would! 984 01:03:23,749 --> 01:03:24,733 Bastard! Hag! 985 01:03:24,833 --> 01:03:27,703 Quiet! Overruled! Weight? 986 01:03:29,539 --> 01:03:30,539 11A·. 987 01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:34,560 All right, fine, fine. I'm 127. 988 01:03:34,660 --> 01:03:39,999 And it says here you were born in 1064, but that's not true either, is it? 989 01:03:40,099 --> 01:03:41,767 Is it! No. 990 01:03:41,867 --> 01:03:46,038 Will you tell me what it says here on your birth certificate under "Date of birth"? 991 01:03:46,138 --> 01:03:48,674 Your Honor, what does this have to do with anything? 992 01:03:48,774 --> 01:03:51,660 Overruled. Mrs. Cole, answer the question. 993 01:03:53,163 --> 01:03:54,563 "1065." 994 01:03:55,965 --> 01:03:58,196 Now let me get this straight. 995 01:03:58,635 --> 01:04:03,422 That would mean that you lied about your age to make yourself older. 996 01:04:03,522 --> 01:04:07,893 But why would any woman want to do that? 997 01:04:07,993 --> 01:04:10,429 I changed it so I could get married. 998 01:04:10,529 --> 01:04:15,350 And the truth shall set you free! 999 01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:17,770 My client lied about her age! 1000 01:04:17,870 --> 01:04:21,373 She was only 17 when she got married, which makes her a minor, 1001 01:04:21,473 --> 01:04:23,208 and in the great state of California, 1002 01:04:23,308 --> 01:04:28,414 no minor can enter into any legal contract without parental consent, including... 1003 01:04:28,514 --> 01:04:30,015 Prenuptial agreements. 1004 01:04:30,115 --> 01:04:33,485 Prenuptial agreements! This contract is void! 1005 01:04:33,585 --> 01:04:37,322 The fact that my client has been ridden more than Seattle Slew is irrelevant. 1006 01:04:37,422 --> 01:04:39,124 Standard Community Property applies, 1007 01:04:39,224 --> 01:04:41,192 and she is entitled to half of the marital assets, 1008 01:04:41,292 --> 01:04:44,129 or $11.305 million! 1009 01:04:44,229 --> 01:04:48,481 Jordan fades back. Swoosh! And that's the game! 1010 01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:50,982 Nothing further, Your Honor. 1011 01:04:59,729 --> 01:05:02,995 Order. Order. Order! 1012 01:05:05,368 --> 01:05:09,788 In light of this new evidence, the court must rule in favor of Mrs. Cole. 1013 01:05:09,888 --> 01:05:10,888 Yes! 1014 01:05:11,007 --> 01:05:13,635 She is hereby awarded half the marital assets. 1015 01:05:15,011 --> 01:05:17,796 The son of a bitch pulled it off! 1016 01:05:17,896 --> 01:05:19,498 I didn't know! 1017 01:05:19,598 --> 01:05:21,677 It doesn't matter. The contract's void. 1018 01:05:22,185 --> 01:05:23,285 Order. 1019 01:05:24,754 --> 01:05:25,846 Order. 1020 01:05:26,823 --> 01:05:30,275 I understand both parties have agreed to joint custody. 1021 01:05:30,375 --> 01:05:31,744 Is that correct? Yes. 1022 01:05:31,844 --> 01:05:33,412 Yes. No. 1023 01:05:33,512 --> 01:05:35,347 I'm contesting custody. 1024 01:05:35,447 --> 01:05:36,414 What? 1025 01:05:36,514 --> 01:05:37,983 If I get sole custody, 1026 01:05:38,083 --> 01:05:40,586 that's another 10 grand in child support payments. 1027 01:05:40,686 --> 01:05:42,387 You just won $11 million! 1028 01:05:42,487 --> 01:05:45,524 Hey, I'm the victim here. You said it yourself. 1029 01:05:45,624 --> 01:05:48,101 Now I'm gonna hit him where it hurts. 1030 01:05:49,379 --> 01:05:53,748 But you... You said he was a good father. 1031 01:05:54,117 --> 01:05:55,117 So? 1032 01:05:57,887 --> 01:06:02,848 Well, Mr. Reede, do we have an agreement on custody or not? 1033 01:06:06,196 --> 01:06:07,196 No. 1034 01:06:08,465 --> 01:06:09,659 I see. 1035 01:06:10,667 --> 01:06:15,954 In that case, there will be a custody hearing on the 10th at 0:00 a.m. 1036 01:06:16,054 --> 01:06:17,996 Court is adjourned. 1037 01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:26,331 Come on, let's go. 1038 01:06:26,431 --> 01:06:27,415 Daddy! 1039 01:06:27,515 --> 01:06:30,269 You stop that whining, or I'll give you something to whine about! 1040 01:06:30,369 --> 01:06:32,304 I wanna go with Daddy! 1041 01:06:32,404 --> 01:06:35,874 Come here, kids. Come on. It's all right. Don't you worry. 1042 01:06:35,974 --> 01:06:39,088 I promise we'll be together, whatever I have to do. 1043 01:06:39,429 --> 01:06:41,046 It's okay. It's okay. 1044 01:06:41,146 --> 01:06:44,116 Oh, for God's sake, will you give me those? They're mine! 1045 01:06:44,216 --> 01:06:46,885 Let go of Daddy! Let go of him! Let go of Daddy! 1046 01:06:46,985 --> 01:06:50,289 We're leaving now! Lupe, come on! 1047 01:06:50,389 --> 01:06:54,572 Don't you have some checks to write? You haven't paid for them yet. 1048 01:07:07,724 --> 01:07:09,608 I love children. 1049 01:07:09,708 --> 01:07:12,311 They give you so much leverage in a case like this. 1050 01:07:12,411 --> 01:07:15,593 You did an incredible job, partner. 1051 01:07:18,134 --> 01:07:22,003 Look at him. He's stunned. He can't believe it. 1052 01:07:24,774 --> 01:07:27,960 Your Honor, may I please approach the bench? 1053 01:07:28,060 --> 01:07:29,895 We're adjourned, Mr. Reede. 1054 01:07:29,995 --> 01:07:33,432 Your Honor, I think we've made a big mistake. 1055 01:07:33,532 --> 01:07:36,435 Mr. Reede, I am tired and very cranky. 1056 01:07:36,535 --> 01:07:40,272 I know, but this is just... wrong, isn't it? 1057 01:07:40,372 --> 01:07:42,441 I manipulated the system. 1058 01:07:42,541 --> 01:07:46,211 Just because you bought it doesn't mean I'm right. It's a technicality! 1059 01:07:46,311 --> 01:07:49,581 Young man, having my judgment mocked in my own court 1060 01:07:49,681 --> 01:07:52,084 is not something I'm prepared to tolerate! 1061 01:07:52,184 --> 01:07:56,321 Well, tell that to the kids when they're adopted by the Manson family! 1062 01:07:56,421 --> 01:08:00,526 One more word out of you, Mr. Reede, and I'll hold you in contempt! 1063 01:08:00,626 --> 01:08:03,795 I hold myself in contempt! 1064 01:08:03,895 --> 01:08:05,797 Why should you be any different? 1065 01:08:05,897 --> 01:08:07,266 Bailiff, take him away! 1066 01:08:07,366 --> 01:08:10,969 This man is a good father, and children are not leverage! 1067 01:08:11,069 --> 01:08:15,340 Oh, no, don't do this! I have a date to play ball with my son! 1068 01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:18,844 I can't be late! It's my last chance! 1069 01:08:18,944 --> 01:08:22,295 I'm Jose Canseco! 1070 01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:29,922 Phone call! Phone call! 1071 01:08:30,022 --> 01:08:32,339 I get a phone call! I get a phone call! 1072 01:08:32,642 --> 01:08:34,838 I get a phone call! 1073 01:08:36,713 --> 01:08:37,763 Hello? 1074 01:08:37,863 --> 01:08:40,265 Audrey, it's me. Don't hang up! 1075 01:08:40,365 --> 01:08:42,868 I can't talk right now. Our flight leaves at 8:00. 1076 01:08:42,968 --> 01:08:43,960 What? 1077 01:08:44,060 --> 01:08:47,105 I'm taking Max someplace where you can't do this anymore. 1078 01:08:47,205 --> 01:08:50,342 Audrey, wait! The most amazing thing has happened to me. 1079 01:08:50,442 --> 01:08:51,643 I'm a changed man! 1080 01:08:51,743 --> 01:08:54,823 Just come to the courthouse with $1,000 and bail me out. 1081 01:08:56,165 --> 01:08:57,916 Hello? Hello? 1082 01:08:58,016 --> 01:09:01,335 Time's up, pal. No, just one more call. Just one more call. 1083 01:09:04,974 --> 01:09:07,068 Okay, let's go. 1084 01:09:08,511 --> 01:09:10,495 Ready? Yeah. 1085 01:09:10,595 --> 01:09:11,930 Will you get the door, please? 1086 01:09:12,030 --> 01:09:13,030 Okay. 1087 01:09:13,916 --> 01:09:15,248 Thank you. 1088 01:09:16,119 --> 01:09:19,612 Mr. Reede, you made bail. 1089 01:09:20,156 --> 01:09:22,941 Greta! Oh, thank God! 1090 01:09:23,041 --> 01:09:25,844 Am I too late? Have you been sexually molested yet? 1091 01:09:25,944 --> 01:09:28,421 Because I could circle the block. 1092 01:09:30,099 --> 01:09:31,583 How did you know I was here? 1093 01:09:31,683 --> 01:09:33,491 One of the other secretaries called me at home, 1094 01:09:33,591 --> 01:09:35,921 said you went all noble in front of Mr. Allan. 1095 01:09:36,021 --> 01:09:38,590 Yeah, I think I'm fired. Isn't that great? 1096 01:09:38,690 --> 01:09:41,159 I'll start my own firm. Do you need a job? 1097 01:09:41,259 --> 01:09:43,236 I don't think you can afford me. 1098 01:09:47,750 --> 01:09:50,469 Oh, man, I gotta get my car. Audrey's on her way to the airport. 1099 01:09:50,569 --> 01:09:54,286 I could lose Max forever. I can't let that happen. I love him! 1100 01:09:54,557 --> 01:09:56,508 You know, this truth stuff is pretty cool. 1101 01:09:56,608 --> 01:10:00,826 I love my son! I love my son! 1102 01:10:01,130 --> 01:10:04,794 I love my son! I love my son! 1103 01:10:05,068 --> 01:10:08,765 Hey, need some change? Take everything! 1104 01:10:10,573 --> 01:10:12,701 But it's not gonna make you happy. 1105 01:10:12,975 --> 01:10:14,975 I love my son! 1106 01:10:22,185 --> 01:10:23,535 Hey, there you are! 1107 01:10:23,635 --> 01:10:26,104 Hi. Just in time. 1108 01:10:26,204 --> 01:10:29,148 Oh, this is the happiest moment of my entire life. 1109 01:10:30,993 --> 01:10:35,397 Well, me... Mine... Well, ours... also. 1110 01:10:35,832 --> 01:10:39,791 Hey, gipper. I have something for you, young man. 1111 01:10:40,269 --> 01:10:43,967 Watch yourself. It's the claw! 1112 01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:46,391 The claw's coming at you. 1113 01:10:46,491 --> 01:10:49,742 You're scared of the claw. You're scared of the claw. 1114 01:10:50,947 --> 01:10:52,664 Jerry. Jerry. 1115 01:10:52,764 --> 01:10:53,757 Huh? 1116 01:10:53,857 --> 01:10:55,534 It's okay. You don't have to... 1117 01:10:55,634 --> 01:10:59,248 Tower Air flight 1A·11 to Boston is now boarding. 1118 01:10:59,922 --> 01:11:01,273 That's us. Yeah. 1119 01:11:01,373 --> 01:11:02,374 Ready to go? 1120 01:11:02,474 --> 01:11:04,309 Yes. You ready? 1121 01:11:04,409 --> 01:11:05,577 Okay. Great. 1122 01:11:05,677 --> 01:11:07,653 Jim Rubing, please report to Airport Security. 1123 01:11:14,704 --> 01:11:16,399 Excuse me! 1124 01:11:16,672 --> 01:11:19,658 What gate is flight 1511 leaving from? It's an emergency! 1125 01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:23,028 Gate number 123, but you'll never make it. Flight's already boarding. 1126 01:11:23,128 --> 01:11:25,497 It takes more than a half hour to get through security. 1127 01:11:25,597 --> 01:11:26,691 If you want to go to Boston, 1128 01:11:26,791 --> 01:11:29,153 there's another flight leaving tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. 1129 01:11:29,253 --> 01:11:30,813 Flight number 12... 1130 01:11:34,624 --> 01:11:37,242 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight 1A·11 1131 01:11:37,342 --> 01:11:39,578 from Los Angeles to Boston's Logan Airport. 1132 01:11:39,678 --> 01:11:40,979 We'll be departing shortly, 1133 01:11:41,079 --> 01:11:43,117 and if you need help stowing your carry-on items... 1134 01:11:43,217 --> 01:11:45,361 Honey, can I help you? I'm fine. 1135 01:11:46,269 --> 01:11:49,102 Are you sure? Jerry, I can open the bag! 1136 01:11:50,873 --> 01:11:53,158 Would you like anything to drink before takeoff? 1137 01:11:53,258 --> 01:11:56,338 Yes. Anything with alcohol, please. 1138 01:11:56,612 --> 01:11:57,943 Audrey. 1139 01:11:59,448 --> 01:12:02,934 If you'll focus on the screen, we'll be running a safety video. 1140 01:12:03,034 --> 01:12:04,681 How about that drink? 1141 01:12:27,009 --> 01:12:28,809 Max! Max! 1142 01:12:31,981 --> 01:12:32,981 Max! 1143 01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:36,017 Wait! 1144 01:12:42,091 --> 01:12:44,219 That ought to do it. 1145 01:12:47,163 --> 01:12:48,163 Hey! 1146 01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:50,924 Thanks! It's running great! 1147 01:12:52,935 --> 01:12:53,935 Max! 1148 01:12:59,442 --> 01:13:01,242 Hey! Max! 1149 01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:05,480 Hey! 1150 01:13:17,994 --> 01:13:21,020 Max! I'm coming! 1151 01:13:31,607 --> 01:13:32,607 Max! 1152 01:13:42,551 --> 01:13:45,544 Max! Max, where are you? 1153 01:13:51,160 --> 01:13:52,685 I love you. 1154 01:13:54,997 --> 01:13:56,298 Thank you. 1155 01:13:57,733 --> 01:14:00,302 That wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for. 1156 01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:03,796 Thank you very much? 1157 01:14:07,877 --> 01:14:09,794 I'm sorry. It's just... 1158 01:14:09,894 --> 01:14:10,896 Too fast? 1159 01:14:10,996 --> 01:14:12,053 It was too fast, wasn't it? 1160 01:14:12,153 --> 01:14:13,265 No, it's... 1161 01:14:13,365 --> 01:14:15,433 Chemistry? Whatever it is, we can work on it. 1162 01:14:15,533 --> 01:14:18,003 No, no, no. It's just that... 1163 01:14:18,103 --> 01:14:20,038 Oh, my God, it's Fletcher! 1164 01:14:20,138 --> 01:14:22,641 No, no, this has nothing to do with Fletcher. 1165 01:14:22,741 --> 01:14:23,975 No, honey, it's Fletcher. 1166 01:14:24,075 --> 01:14:25,075 What? 1167 01:14:25,628 --> 01:14:26,628 Dad? 1168 01:14:28,664 --> 01:14:32,464 I made it! I'm late, but I made it! 1169 01:14:33,602 --> 01:14:35,620 What is he doing? 1170 01:14:35,720 --> 01:14:38,868 He came to see us off. Wave. 1171 01:14:42,712 --> 01:14:44,907 I won't let you go! 1172 01:14:52,188 --> 01:14:53,988 Oh, shit! 1173 01:14:59,996 --> 01:15:03,523 Control one-nine, this is Tower 1511, heavy. Ready for takeoff. 1174 01:15:03,833 --> 01:15:04,833 Hey! 1175 01:15:11,107 --> 01:15:12,157 What was that? 1176 01:15:12,257 --> 01:15:13,402 Looked like a shoe. 1177 01:15:14,043 --> 01:15:16,043 Pull over! 1178 01:15:16,278 --> 01:15:18,830 Pull this thing over! 1179 01:15:18,930 --> 01:15:21,370 Control one-nine, some idiot has hijacked a flight of stairs. 1180 01:15:21,499 --> 01:15:22,934 We're gonna stop this plane. 1181 01:15:23,034 --> 01:15:24,715 One-nine Control. We copy. 1182 01:15:27,723 --> 01:15:28,723 Yeah! 1183 01:15:30,893 --> 01:15:31,893 No! 1184 01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,469 You people are all doing a wonderful job! 1185 01:16:14,370 --> 01:16:15,587 That's far enough, folks. 1186 01:16:15,687 --> 01:16:18,490 He's my husband. Was my husband. 1187 01:16:18,590 --> 01:16:20,125 All right, go ahead. Okay. 1188 01:16:20,225 --> 01:16:23,475 Max, you stay here with Jerry, and I'll be right back, okay? 1189 01:16:26,849 --> 01:16:29,601 Audrey! Great news! Fletcher! 1190 01:16:29,701 --> 01:16:32,804 Both my legs are broken, so they can't take me right to jail. 1191 01:16:32,904 --> 01:16:35,640 Fletcher, what were you doing? Are you out of your mind? 1192 01:16:35,740 --> 01:16:40,645 No, I'm thinking clear. I've never been this clear! 1193 01:16:40,745 --> 01:16:41,745 Dad? 1194 01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:43,464 Creep. 1195 01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:46,484 He was getting kind of upset. 1196 01:16:46,584 --> 01:16:48,119 Are you all right? 1197 01:16:48,219 --> 01:16:52,403 Yeah. I'm hurting here, though. 1198 01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:54,570 I'm a dope, Max. 1199 01:16:55,244 --> 01:16:59,681 All this time you've been here and I could see you anytime, but I didn't. 1200 01:17:00,883 --> 01:17:02,867 Then your mom told me you were moving to Boston, 1201 01:17:02,967 --> 01:17:04,869 and I started thinking. 1202 01:17:04,969 --> 01:17:09,221 I could be sitting around sometime and want to look at you 1203 01:17:09,792 --> 01:17:12,124 and hold you and play with you, 1204 01:17:12,995 --> 01:17:14,929 and I won't be able to. 1205 01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:19,560 I don't think I'm gonna do too well with that. 1206 01:17:20,503 --> 01:17:24,022 I love you more than anything else in the world, Max, 1207 01:17:24,122 --> 01:17:26,424 and you know it's true. 1208 01:17:26,524 --> 01:17:29,672 I couldn't say it if it wasn't true. Not today. 1209 01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:36,618 I love you, and I'll never hurt you again. 1210 01:17:40,689 --> 01:17:43,641 He's telling the truth, Mom. He's not allowed to lie. 1211 01:17:43,741 --> 01:17:47,412 I made a wish, and anything Dad says today has to be the truth. 1212 01:17:47,512 --> 01:17:48,512 Max. 1213 01:17:50,633 --> 01:17:52,633 It's 8:45. 1214 01:17:52,935 --> 01:17:55,253 You made the wish at 8:15. 1215 01:17:55,353 --> 01:17:58,171 I've been able to lie for the last half hour. 1216 01:17:58,541 --> 01:17:59,557 So you weren't... 1217 01:17:59,657 --> 01:18:01,626 No, it was the truth! 1218 01:18:01,726 --> 01:18:05,636 I just wanted to be honest with you. I always want to be honest with you. 1219 01:18:11,921 --> 01:18:16,119 Mom, do we have to go to Boston? 1220 01:18:21,430 --> 01:18:23,763 No, Max, you don't have to go. 1221 01:18:24,033 --> 01:18:25,033 Yeah! 1222 01:18:27,670 --> 01:18:29,934 I, on the other hand, do have to. 1223 01:18:30,406 --> 01:18:32,397 A hospital to run. 1224 01:18:33,642 --> 01:18:36,805 That's an open-ended ticket if you ever change your mind. 1225 01:18:37,379 --> 01:18:39,006 Thank you. 1226 01:18:44,620 --> 01:18:46,816 Looks like he's got his father back. 1227 01:18:56,265 --> 01:19:00,051 Happy birthday, dear Maximus 1228 01:19:00,151 --> 01:19:04,302 Happy birthday to you 1229 01:19:06,508 --> 01:19:08,509 Okay, Max, make a wish. 1230 01:19:09,845 --> 01:19:12,430 Wait! I don't know if we should do this. 1231 01:19:12,530 --> 01:19:16,509 Oh, Fletcher, come on. What are the odds of that happening again? 1232 01:19:18,520 --> 01:19:20,872 Yeah, I guess you're right. 1233 01:19:20,972 --> 01:19:23,016 Okay, Max, go ahead. 1234 01:19:30,265 --> 01:19:32,065 Mom? Dad? 1235 01:19:48,183 --> 01:19:49,183 Max! 1236 01:19:53,589 --> 01:19:56,908 Did you wish for your mom and I to get back together again? 1237 01:19:57,008 --> 01:19:59,394 No, I wished for Rollerblades. 1238 01:20:03,198 --> 01:20:06,134 Do you want to cut the cake, 1239 01:20:07,703 --> 01:20:08,703 Dad? 1240 01:20:09,004 --> 01:20:10,665 I'd love to. 1241 01:20:11,540 --> 01:20:14,025 But I have this horrible pain in my arm. 1242 01:20:14,125 --> 01:20:15,860 Oh, no, it's the claw! 1243 01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:17,879 No one can stop the claw! 1244 01:20:20,249 --> 01:20:22,274 No one can stop it! 1245 01:20:28,557 --> 01:20:31,925 Nothing can stop the claw! 1246 01:20:54,316 --> 01:20:58,770 If I was a boxer, I would bounce those things like Sugar Ray Leonard. 1247 01:20:58,870 --> 01:21:00,220 I'm sorry. 1248 01:21:02,458 --> 01:21:04,242 Brought your kids to your divorce? 1249 01:21:04,342 --> 01:21:05,184 Sympathy. 1250 01:21:05,284 --> 01:21:06,176 Well, it's working. 1251 01:21:06,277 --> 01:21:08,458 I feel sorry for them already. 1252 01:21:09,231 --> 01:21:11,996 For this you will pay a terrible price. 1253 01:21:15,170 --> 01:21:18,231 Well, it's working! I feel sorry for them already. 1254 01:21:31,520 --> 01:21:33,488 Mrs. Cole. 1255 01:21:46,435 --> 01:21:47,925 A goose. 1256 01:21:51,340 --> 01:21:52,457 Including... 1257 01:21:52,557 --> 01:21:54,092 Prenuptial agreements. 1258 01:21:54,192 --> 01:21:58,045 Prenuptial agreements. 1259 01:22:04,119 --> 01:22:06,918 No. I'd have got him $10,000. 1260 01:22:07,456 --> 01:22:08,405 Goodbye, Mr. Reede. 1261 01:22:08,505 --> 01:22:09,430 No, wait! 1262 01:22:09,530 --> 01:22:11,655 I didn't know she had... 1263 01:22:35,485 --> 01:22:37,285 Oh, shit. 1264 01:22:39,555 --> 01:22:43,609 Now, let's see. "Weight, 105"? 1265 01:22:43,709 --> 01:22:45,574 Yeah! In your bra. 1266 01:22:45,674 --> 01:22:46,641 Your Honor, I object! 1267 01:22:46,741 --> 01:22:47,578 You would! 1268 01:22:47,678 --> 01:22:48,449 Overactor! 1269 01:22:48,549 --> 01:22:50,100 Jezebel! 1270 01:22:54,670 --> 01:22:56,400 He put me up to it. 1271 01:22:59,562 --> 01:23:01,300 Yeah, sure he did. 1272 01:23:03,380 --> 01:23:06,140 Oh, no. They're onto me. 92128

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