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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:12,957 --> 00:00:13,977 Hey. 2 00:00:13,988 --> 00:00:15,607 - Oh, hey. - Hi. 3 00:00:15,608 --> 00:00:17,469 H... 4 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:20,504 Were you... Were you watching me sleep? 5 00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,883 No, I was watching you try to breathe. 6 00:00:22,884 --> 00:00:25,676 I think you have a... a badly deviated septum. 7 00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:28,055 But it's a damn cute deviated septum. 8 00:00:28,056 --> 00:00:29,814 Aw, thank you. 9 00:00:29,815 --> 00:00:31,469 I got you something. 10 00:00:31,470 --> 00:00:33,538 Okay. 11 00:00:33,539 --> 00:00:36,055 What is it? 12 00:00:36,056 --> 00:00:37,814 Open it. 13 00:00:37,815 --> 00:00:40,469 Wow. 14 00:00:40,470 --> 00:00:42,849 Ah, it's a... it's a little yellow hat. 15 00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:44,469 Try it on. 16 00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:47,642 Oh, I-I'd love to try it on. 17 00:00:50,712 --> 00:00:53,021 I love this. 18 00:00:53,022 --> 00:00:54,302 Really? 19 00:00:54,313 --> 00:00:56,642 Yes. Perfect. 20 00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:59,366 I mean, do you think it fits? 21 00:00:59,367 --> 00:01:00,607 Definitely. Does it feel loose? 22 00:01:00,608 --> 00:01:01,918 I don't know what it is. 23 00:01:01,919 --> 00:01:03,573 Well, you can always put a bobby pin in 24 00:01:03,574 --> 00:01:06,883 to keep it in place, like they do with the, um... 25 00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:08,435 Yarmulkes? Yes. 26 00:01:08,436 --> 00:01:10,262 Wait. 27 00:01:10,263 --> 00:01:11,918 Why do you know that word? 28 00:01:11,919 --> 00:01:13,435 I'm... I'm Jewish. 29 00:01:16,022 --> 00:01:17,573 Okay. 30 00:01:17,574 --> 00:01:20,055 No. I'm... I'm 100% Jewish. 31 00:01:20,056 --> 00:01:21,918 Well, you are funny. 32 00:01:21,919 --> 00:01:23,780 Well... 33 00:01:29,964 --> 00:01:32,252 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 34 00:01:32,263 --> 00:01:34,366 Mommy! 35 00:01:34,367 --> 00:01:36,297 My Genes&Me results came! 36 00:01:36,298 --> 00:01:38,228 Okay, I am... 37 00:01:38,229 --> 00:01:40,780 100% Ashkenazi Jew. 38 00:01:40,781 --> 00:01:42,466 Yeah, no shit. Ever seen a mirror? 39 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:45,814 Wow. Okay. We have history of anxiety. 40 00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,573 Check. Poor eyesight. 41 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,469 Check. 42 00:01:49,470 --> 00:01:51,262 Yeah, well... Tay-Sachs disease. 43 00:01:51,263 --> 00:01:53,140 - Cystic fibrosis. Fragile X syndrome. - Uh-huh. 44 00:01:53,151 --> 00:01:55,124 Holy shit. Let me tell you something, honey. 45 00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,676 I could've told you all of that without your selling 46 00:01:57,677 --> 00:01:59,538 your medical history to the government. 47 00:01:59,539 --> 00:02:01,814 What... What do you mean? 48 00:02:01,815 --> 00:02:05,504 Google owns your DNA, you naive little bitch! 49 00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,780 Well, I'm gonna write all about this 50 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,297 for my grad school personal essay. 51 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,538 "Endophenotypes: The Genetic Inheritance 52 00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:15,676 - "of Mental Disorders." - Yikes! 53 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,331 Okay, what else does this have to teach me abo... 54 00:02:21,125 --> 00:02:22,331 Oh, my God. 55 00:02:22,332 --> 00:02:24,814 Oh, my God!! 56 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:26,574 - Abbi. - What? 57 00:02:26,575 --> 00:02:28,366 Well, I just found out 58 00:02:28,367 --> 00:02:30,873 that I have the richest history a millennial Jew can have. 59 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:34,573 I'm related... ? to a Holocaust survivor ? 60 00:02:34,574 --> 00:02:36,124 Yah! 61 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:44,504 Hey! 62 00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:45,849 Dude, this is incredible. 63 00:02:45,850 --> 00:02:47,538 There's so few left. There's, like, none. 64 00:02:47,539 --> 00:02:49,021 I know, and I'm 16th cousins 65 00:02:49,022 --> 00:02:51,849 - with one who lives in Manhattan! - Whoa. 66 00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:53,883 - We have to go right the fuck now. - Okay. 67 00:02:53,884 --> 00:02:55,366 Dope, because I know that I can learn 68 00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:56,849 so much about my history or whatever, 69 00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,366 but also about our shared mental illness. Shwing! 70 00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:01,193 Maybe I should get my DNA tested. 71 00:03:01,194 --> 00:03:03,504 I could be related to a Holocaust survivor, too. 72 00:03:03,505 --> 00:03:04,711 Who, a guard? 73 00:03:04,712 --> 00:03:06,228 Come on, Ilana. 74 00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,656 I don't mean a full-on Nazi. 75 00:03:07,667 --> 00:03:09,853 I mean like a Polish soldier who looked the other way. 76 00:03:09,864 --> 00:03:11,504 I am Jewish. 77 00:03:11,505 --> 00:03:13,987 Yeah, emphasis on the "ish." Come on. Let's go. 78 00:03:13,988 --> 00:03:16,159 So what are we doing, the Q or the F? 79 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,573 Fuck! 80 00:03:17,574 --> 00:03:18,987 What da hat? 81 00:03:18,988 --> 00:03:20,538 Oh, this? Lesley got it for me. 82 00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:22,504 She saw it and thought of me. 83 00:03:22,505 --> 00:03:24,745 It's cute, right? I'm just giving it a go. 84 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,883 We'll see. 85 00:03:25,894 --> 00:03:28,055 Brave. 86 00:03:34,850 --> 00:03:38,400 Yeah, so she was just, like, out and saw it in a store 87 00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,849 and... and thought of me. 88 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:42,538 And... 89 00:03:42,539 --> 00:03:44,262 we think she likes you, right? 90 00:03:44,263 --> 00:03:46,159 Yeah. Yeah, I mean... 91 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,262 I think she really likes me. 92 00:03:48,263 --> 00:03:50,883 I'm... I... I really like her, too. 93 00:03:52,212 --> 00:03:53,918 So, you're a hat girl now? 94 00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,159 I mean... I mean, maybe. 95 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,400 Is that, um... a problem? 96 00:03:59,401 --> 00:04:02,642 I'm just... I'm surprised. 97 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,711 You know, you've... you've never expressed 98 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,090 any interest in hats. 99 00:04:06,091 --> 00:04:08,159 I watch your eyes when we walk, when we talk. 100 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,331 You've never even looked at a hat. 101 00:04:10,332 --> 00:04:13,814 Well, I mean, I guess I never really considered them. 102 00:04:13,815 --> 00:04:16,193 Right. But Lesley bought it for me, 103 00:04:16,194 --> 00:04:18,607 - so I'm I'm gonna give it a try. - One last thing... 104 00:04:18,608 --> 00:04:21,538 Do you think you're gonna be a hat person for the rest of your life? 105 00:04:21,539 --> 00:04:23,849 I don't know. 106 00:04:23,850 --> 00:04:25,676 Are we talking about hats? 107 00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:28,401 Yeah. We're talking about hats. 108 00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:32,952 - Hi. - Hi. 109 00:04:32,953 --> 00:04:35,435 We are here to visit my very dear, sweet, 110 00:04:35,436 --> 00:04:39,055 and close 16th cousin Saul Borowitz. 111 00:04:39,056 --> 00:04:42,297 Oh, fantastic. He'll be so happy to have visitors. 112 00:04:42,298 --> 00:04:43,952 Can I have your licenses? 113 00:04:43,953 --> 00:04:46,469 And you'll get your licenses back when you leave. 114 00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:47,745 Great. 115 00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,573 You can take him to the commissary, 116 00:04:49,584 --> 00:04:52,673 or any of the communal areas on the third floor. 117 00:04:52,684 --> 00:04:54,676 - Thank you. - He's in Room 11B. 118 00:04:54,677 --> 00:04:56,124 - Thank you. - Thanks so much. 119 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:58,780 - Do not leave the third floor. - Okay. 120 00:05:00,815 --> 00:05:02,298 Dope. 121 00:05:10,539 --> 00:05:12,331 Maybe he's hard of hearing. 122 00:05:16,643 --> 00:05:18,469 Should we just try to go in? 123 00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:20,229 Let me try something first. 124 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:25,642 Looks like I'm the magician 125 00:05:25,643 --> 00:05:27,883 even though you're the one wearing that hat. 126 00:05:27,884 --> 00:05:31,055 Okay, I think the door was just unlocked. 127 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,952 Saul? Saul Borowitz? 128 00:05:36,953 --> 00:05:38,849 I'm your 16th cousin Ilana Wexler. 129 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:40,849 Oh, my God. 130 00:05:40,850 --> 00:05:42,435 Oh, my God. 131 00:05:42,436 --> 00:05:43,883 No! 132 00:05:43,884 --> 00:05:45,469 No, no, no, no. 133 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,814 No. Oh, God. 134 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:51,676 I knew I shouldn't have stopped at Sephora before I came here! 135 00:05:51,677 --> 00:05:54,849 I'm gonna cover his face up. This is too weird. 136 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:57,297 - Gotcha! - Oh, my God. 137 00:05:57,298 --> 00:05:59,869 Works every time. 138 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,834 You know, you must be one of those Genes&Me kids. 139 00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:03,883 I can see the resemblance. Look. 140 00:06:03,884 --> 00:06:06,124 That's me as a horny teenager. 141 00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,607 See the hair? 142 00:06:07,608 --> 00:06:09,021 I guess. 143 00:06:09,022 --> 00:06:10,573 Have a seat. 144 00:06:10,574 --> 00:06:12,849 - Wow. - Great fun, huh? 145 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:15,021 Yes. Wild. Wild. 146 00:06:15,022 --> 00:06:16,883 Very scary. 147 00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:18,193 So, like I said, I'm Ilana. 148 00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:20,124 And this is my, um... 149 00:06:20,125 --> 00:06:21,918 Oh, God. She's my everything. 150 00:06:21,919 --> 00:06:23,618 But, you know what, I'll just boil it down to soulmate. 151 00:06:23,629 --> 00:06:25,141 Let's... Let's just leave it at soulmate. 152 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,229 I'm Abbi. 153 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,435 Nice to meet you both. 154 00:06:27,436 --> 00:06:29,538 So, Saul, I'm applying to graduate school, 155 00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:32,538 and I'm writing my personal essay about inherited trauma. 156 00:06:33,953 --> 00:06:36,400 For example, I experience anxiety diarrhea 157 00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:39,297 - three to eight times daily. - Ay, yi, yi, yi. 158 00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,607 Now, do you think that somatic expression 159 00:06:42,608 --> 00:06:45,849 tracks back to your horrific experience 160 00:06:45,850 --> 00:06:47,400 somehow, for sure? 161 00:06:47,401 --> 00:06:50,055 No. 162 00:06:50,056 --> 00:06:53,952 I'm gonna write "possible connection." 163 00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:55,814 Okay. So, tell me everything. 164 00:06:55,815 --> 00:06:57,883 I want to hear about mental illness history, 165 00:06:57,884 --> 00:07:00,331 stories from the old country, Nazi shit, anything. 166 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,814 Tell you what. 167 00:07:02,815 --> 00:07:06,297 I'll tell you everything... the whole family, relatives, everything... 168 00:07:06,298 --> 00:07:08,538 if you'll take me out of here for a little while. 169 00:07:08,539 --> 00:07:11,435 I've been cooped up here so long, and you know what? 170 00:07:11,436 --> 00:07:13,321 The food here is horse shit. 171 00:07:13,332 --> 00:07:15,307 Well, the woman downstairs said we could take you 172 00:07:15,318 --> 00:07:16,607 wherever you want on this floor. 173 00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:18,814 Ah, come on. It's so strict down there. 174 00:07:18,815 --> 00:07:22,736 I-I'm sorry, Saul. We can't. I mean, we're just following orders. 175 00:07:23,815 --> 00:07:25,573 Well, I've heard that one before. 176 00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,297 Oooooooh! 177 00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:29,435 Okay, okay. We're getting you out of here right now! 178 00:07:29,436 --> 00:07:31,193 Wow! 179 00:07:32,677 --> 00:07:35,607 Yes! Yes. 180 00:07:35,608 --> 00:07:37,366 Oh, uh... this guy had an accident. 181 00:07:37,367 --> 00:07:39,366 Shit was everywhere. We gotta get rid of the rug. 182 00:07:39,367 --> 00:07:41,159 Yep. We're doing it. 183 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,574 Getting him out! 184 00:07:43,609 --> 00:07:46,557 Oh, man. 185 00:07:46,568 --> 00:07:48,533 Okay. I got... I can't do this anymore. 186 00:07:48,534 --> 00:07:50,847 - Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Ready? - Alright. Okay. 187 00:07:50,858 --> 00:07:52,119 - Shit! Shit! - God... 188 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:53,498 Saul! Saul! Are you okay?! 189 00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:55,119 Great work, girls. 190 00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:58,464 Smell that New York air. 191 00:07:58,465 --> 00:08:00,222 It's like garbage. I love it! 192 00:08:00,223 --> 00:08:03,429 Oh, come on. 193 00:08:03,430 --> 00:08:06,464 So let's get you some real food and get into some real family history. 194 00:08:06,465 --> 00:08:07,878 For example, I want to know... 195 00:08:07,879 --> 00:08:10,016 were your parents mentally ill, like mine? 196 00:08:10,017 --> 00:08:11,705 Listen... Before we get to that... 197 00:08:11,706 --> 00:08:13,567 Could you guys take me to a shoemaker? 198 00:08:13,568 --> 00:08:15,774 - Of course, Saul. - Good. 199 00:08:15,775 --> 00:08:18,429 We'll do you one better. 200 00:08:23,844 --> 00:08:25,311 Ooh! That looks so nice. 201 00:08:25,322 --> 00:08:27,291 Good. 202 00:08:27,292 --> 00:08:29,912 Okay, Saul, now that I've got you in pleasure, 203 00:08:29,913 --> 00:08:33,360 interview question number one... what does post-traumatic 204 00:08:33,361 --> 00:08:35,257 stress disorder mean to you? 205 00:08:35,258 --> 00:08:38,636 Look, they have high tops. I'll be right back. 206 00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:41,602 He is too cute. 207 00:08:41,603 --> 00:08:42,912 You hear him... 208 00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,810 What? 209 00:08:44,821 --> 00:08:46,388 I'm just sending a selfie to Leslie. 210 00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:49,947 Cute. I just, um... 211 00:08:49,958 --> 00:08:53,785 I forgot about, uh... you know, uh... 212 00:08:56,356 --> 00:08:57,528 Girls! 213 00:08:57,529 --> 00:09:00,390 I found it... a dope-ass pair. 214 00:09:02,839 --> 00:09:04,528 I love these shoes. 215 00:09:04,529 --> 00:09:06,390 - I love them, too. - They look amazing on you. 216 00:09:06,401 --> 00:09:10,148 - You hungry? Where do you want to eat? - What about Red Hook? 217 00:09:10,149 --> 00:09:11,813 Red Hook is kind of hard to get to, right? 218 00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,805 - Well, we can always take the... - Shut up, Saul! 219 00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:18,148 ? Hello ? 220 00:09:18,149 --> 00:09:19,355 What, dude? 221 00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,493 Alan motherfucking Cumming. 222 00:09:23,494 --> 00:09:25,459 Oh, my God. 223 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:26,804 Who is that? 224 00:09:26,805 --> 00:09:28,804 - Alan Cumming! - Saul! 225 00:09:28,805 --> 00:09:30,666 Alan Cumming... the magical, pansexual, 226 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,148 New York City party boi-nymph 227 00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:33,873 - in the beautiful flesh! - I have chills. 228 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,804 Okay, should we follow him? 229 00:09:35,805 --> 00:09:37,321 I mean, I think we have to. 230 00:09:37,322 --> 00:09:38,976 What? I'm starving! 231 00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:40,838 Okay, it is not about you right now, honey. 232 00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,838 Saul, we're talking about Alan Cumming 233 00:09:42,839 --> 00:09:44,390 from... from "Romy and Michelle," 234 00:09:44,401 --> 00:09:46,134 from "The Anniversary Party," from "The Good Wife," 235 00:09:46,145 --> 00:09:48,700 from "Spice World" fame, Saul. 236 00:09:48,701 --> 00:09:51,557 I mean, Alan Cumming created his own perfume line called "Cumming." 237 00:09:51,568 --> 00:09:53,666 Is that LOL genie or what? 238 00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:55,183 I'm wearing it right now. 239 00:09:55,184 --> 00:09:58,010 Saul, I swear to Adonai, 240 00:09:58,011 --> 00:10:00,010 whatever Alan Cumming has in store for today, 241 00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,504 - you will be titillated by it. - Yes. 242 00:10:01,515 --> 00:10:03,286 He represents the real New York, okay? 243 00:10:03,287 --> 00:10:05,700 The... The pre-9/11, pre- "Sex in the City," 244 00:10:05,701 --> 00:10:08,045 Basquiat, Keith Haring New York. 245 00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:10,355 The only Haring I'm interested in is pickled herring. 246 00:10:10,356 --> 00:10:12,252 And as soon as we can get to that, I am fine. 247 00:10:12,253 --> 00:10:14,217 You got yourself a deal. Got yourself a deal. 248 00:10:14,218 --> 00:10:16,010 - We'll make it happen. - All right! 249 00:10:16,011 --> 00:10:18,023 Come on, Saul. We gotta catch up with him. Hurry it up. 250 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,066 - Alright. - Alright. We're gonna catch up. 251 00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:23,915 Giddy-up, Saul! Come on! We got it, Saul. 252 00:10:23,926 --> 00:10:25,206 - Shit, shit! - Here we go. 253 00:10:25,217 --> 00:10:27,010 - We're losing him. - Okay. Alright. 254 00:10:27,011 --> 00:10:28,355 We got... 255 00:10:28,356 --> 00:10:29,976 Drag brunch! Drag brunch! 256 00:10:29,977 --> 00:10:31,390 - We must! We must! - We must? 257 00:10:31,391 --> 00:10:32,631 We must! We must! 258 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,838 Okay. 259 00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:35,528 - Come on, brother! - Here we go. 260 00:10:35,529 --> 00:10:37,528 ? You're our guest ? 261 00:10:37,529 --> 00:10:38,942 ? You're our guest ? 262 00:10:38,943 --> 00:10:41,528 ? Jiggly Caliente is the best ? 263 00:10:41,529 --> 00:10:43,907 ? Tuck your dick between your legs ? 264 00:10:43,908 --> 00:10:46,735 ? And shake those unfeasibly large breasts ? 265 00:10:46,736 --> 00:10:49,390 ? A generous pour, contours and curves ? 266 00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:52,045 ? All the drinks that you deserve ? 267 00:10:52,046 --> 00:10:54,528 ? We are dressed in all couture ? 268 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,252 ? Just ask our queen, Sasha Velour ? 269 00:10:57,253 --> 00:11:00,079 ? Undo your belt, loosen your pants ? 270 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,873 ? Tip your waitress, she's freelance ? 271 00:11:02,874 --> 00:11:08,631 ? Our mimosa pours will always past the test ? 272 00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:11,528 ? Come on and bring your nephew ? 273 00:11:11,529 --> 00:11:14,666 ? Apply your blush and then you'll pass the test ? 274 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,079 ? Touch my chest ? 275 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:19,217 ? You're our guest ? 276 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,942 Yes! 277 00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:25,390 Can I take your order, baby? 278 00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,217 Yes. Can I get a coffee with a side of you? 279 00:11:28,218 --> 00:11:29,562 - Wooo! - Oh! 280 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:30,976 Sau-ul. 281 00:11:30,977 --> 00:11:33,217 Looks like I got a fresh one, mm-hmm? 282 00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,045 - I love this place. - Thank you. 283 00:11:35,046 --> 00:11:37,942 And I love money, so make sure y'all tip, okay? 284 00:11:37,943 --> 00:11:39,183 - Yes. - I'll be back, doll. 285 00:11:39,184 --> 00:11:40,217 Okay. Love it. 286 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,942 Oof! That was good. 287 00:11:46,943 --> 00:11:49,183 Oh, my God, Ilana. He's at the bar. 288 00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,666 - We have to go pay our respects. - Okay. 289 00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,424 - Let's vape and loosen up a little bit. - Okay. Thanks. 290 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:03,804 Oh, Saul, this is a marijuana pen. 291 00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:06,286 Ooh, sorry. You probably don't want that. 292 00:12:06,287 --> 00:12:07,700 Why shouldn't I get high? 293 00:12:10,425 --> 00:12:13,321 - Yeah, go for it. - Get ripped, 'cuz. 294 00:12:15,667 --> 00:12:17,666 You can't get off unless you cough! 295 00:12:17,667 --> 00:12:20,631 That's for damn sure. 296 00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:23,148 Conga time! 297 00:12:23,149 --> 00:12:25,079 Ooh, come on, girls. 298 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,838 Oh, my gosh, Abbi, his friend just left him, 299 00:12:26,839 --> 00:12:28,285 leaving him all alone at the bar. 300 00:12:28,296 --> 00:12:31,010 Oh, my God. It's now or never, dude. Come on. 301 00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:41,942 It's a bare... with a hint of lavender. 302 00:12:48,062 --> 00:12:49,387 Hello. 303 00:12:49,398 --> 00:12:51,252 Hi. 304 00:12:51,253 --> 00:12:53,700 Um, Mr. Cumming, um... 305 00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:58,010 we just want to say how big of fans we are. 306 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,010 - Um... - Yes. 307 00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,804 Thank you so much for bringing us here today. 308 00:13:03,677 --> 00:13:04,838 For bringing you? 309 00:13:04,839 --> 00:13:06,528 We followed you for, like, 13 blocks. 310 00:13:06,529 --> 00:13:07,638 Cool. 311 00:13:07,649 --> 00:13:09,045 - It's really cool. - It is cool. 312 00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:10,735 I think it's kind of cool. 313 00:13:10,736 --> 00:13:12,355 So you're a couple? 314 00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:13,528 No. 315 00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:14,907 We're just best friends forever. 316 00:13:14,908 --> 00:13:17,321 Oh, it's just... the hat. 317 00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:20,217 No, we actually just brought Ilana's 16th cousin, 318 00:13:20,218 --> 00:13:22,528 uh, 'cause he's a Holocaust survivor. 319 00:13:22,529 --> 00:13:24,252 Oh, really? That's incredible. 320 00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:26,631 - My cousin. - We really need to cherish our elders 321 00:13:26,632 --> 00:13:28,321 and hear their stories. 322 00:13:28,322 --> 00:13:29,424 You want to meet him? 323 00:13:29,425 --> 00:13:30,942 - Sure. - Yeah, he's here. 324 00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:33,252 You've got to meet my 16th cousin, Alan Cumming. 325 00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:36,183 - He's great. - He's right over there. 326 00:13:36,184 --> 00:13:37,602 Where is he? 327 00:13:39,322 --> 00:13:40,735 - Abbi, look! - No! 328 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,045 Saul! No! 329 00:13:46,635 --> 00:13:48,811 - Saul! - Saul! 330 00:13:48,812 --> 00:13:50,756 Saul! Saul! 331 00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:52,318 Oh, my God. 332 00:13:52,329 --> 00:13:55,069 - He's gone for fucking ever! - Okay, okay. 333 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,230 Dude, we'll just see where the bus stops next. 334 00:13:57,241 --> 00:13:58,617 Okay. 335 00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:05,356 - I can't read a fucking bus map. - No, me either. Okay. 336 00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:07,038 We cannot be losing Holocaust survivors! 337 00:14:07,049 --> 00:14:09,428 Not now that the world is gaining Nazis somehow! 338 00:14:09,439 --> 00:14:11,024 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 339 00:14:11,035 --> 00:14:14,214 Where would a Holocaust survivor go? Um... 340 00:14:14,225 --> 00:14:15,598 Okay, okay. Think, think, think. 341 00:14:15,599 --> 00:14:17,736 Um, pickled herring. Um... 342 00:14:17,737 --> 00:14:19,322 Zabar's! 343 00:14:19,323 --> 00:14:20,632 Yes! 344 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:21,736 Shit! My hat, dude! 345 00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:23,253 - Leave the hat! - No! 346 00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,080 It's not that simple! 347 00:14:29,461 --> 00:14:32,529 To the mayo-based salads. 348 00:14:32,530 --> 00:14:35,080 Saul? Saul Borowitz? 349 00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:36,425 Oh, excuse me, excuse me. 350 00:14:36,426 --> 00:14:38,322 Have you seen an elderly gentleman, 351 00:14:38,323 --> 00:14:40,942 like yay high? 352 00:14:40,943 --> 00:14:43,667 He's also very high as in stoned. 353 00:14:43,668 --> 00:14:45,425 Oh, he's also wearing brightly colored 354 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,149 - LeBron high tops. - Yes. 355 00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:49,011 I don't think so. Sorry. 356 00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,250 Shit. 357 00:14:50,261 --> 00:14:51,725 Okay. Maybe we check down here... 358 00:14:51,736 --> 00:14:53,149 Wait, Ilana. Okay. 359 00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:56,908 Um, I'm never up here, and... and the babka is insane. 360 00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:58,667 We got to get some while we're here. 361 00:14:58,668 --> 00:15:00,184 I will get some whitefish salad. 362 00:15:00,185 --> 00:15:02,046 Hey, can I get a pound of whitefish salad please? 363 00:15:02,047 --> 00:15:04,205 And we'll take that to go. We're kind of in a hurry. Thank you. 364 00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:06,322 Okay, dude. Where else would a Holocaust survivor go? 365 00:15:15,219 --> 00:15:17,667 Wow, we really got lost in there. 366 00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:19,736 Well, you can't rush through. 367 00:15:19,737 --> 00:15:21,080 No, no. 368 00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:22,563 The resilience of the Jewish people 369 00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:24,529 - is just astounding. - Yeah. 370 00:15:24,530 --> 00:15:27,468 We got to keep educating ourselves, you know. 371 00:15:27,479 --> 00:15:29,701 Truly never forget. Never forget. 372 00:15:29,702 --> 00:15:31,322 - Shit! - Saul! 373 00:15:31,323 --> 00:15:33,701 Oh, my God. Idiots! 374 00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:35,701 Saul?! 375 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:37,253 Saul?! 376 00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:40,391 Okay, where else might an old Jew go? 377 00:15:40,392 --> 00:15:41,977 A sale. 378 00:15:41,978 --> 00:15:43,391 Genius. Jew magnet! 379 00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:44,667 Yes! 380 00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:50,303 Just can't pass up a sale like that. 381 00:15:50,314 --> 00:15:51,839 No, I mean, you find the best stuff 382 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,391 - when you're not looking. - That's right. 383 00:15:53,392 --> 00:15:54,679 I mean, we weren't trying to shop. 384 00:15:54,690 --> 00:15:56,268 - We had to. - We had to. 385 00:15:56,279 --> 00:15:58,253 You don't find great clothes. Great clothes find you. 386 00:15:58,254 --> 00:15:59,736 - Exactly. - Damn it! Saul! 387 00:15:59,737 --> 00:16:01,391 Oh, my God. What is wrong with us? 388 00:16:01,392 --> 00:16:02,942 I don't know. I think we smoked too much weed. 389 00:16:02,943 --> 00:16:04,638 We got to go back to the assisted living facility. 390 00:16:04,649 --> 00:16:06,057 It's getting late, it's getting dark. 391 00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:07,816 Yeah, you're right. Also we need our licenses. 392 00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:09,391 - Ugh. Good point. - Geez. 393 00:16:23,032 --> 00:16:24,115 Hi... 394 00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:26,391 Doris. 395 00:16:26,392 --> 00:16:29,425 There's no delicate way to put this, 396 00:16:29,426 --> 00:16:31,273 but, um... 397 00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:35,080 we lost Saul, and we can't find him, 398 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,770 and we looked all over, 399 00:16:36,771 --> 00:16:38,770 all the fuck over, and we can't find him, 400 00:16:38,771 --> 00:16:42,667 and we're really, really, really sorry. 401 00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,736 Ooh. No disrespect. 402 00:16:45,737 --> 00:16:48,254 - He's at Ikea. - What? 403 00:16:48,265 --> 00:16:49,563 How do you... How do you know that? 404 00:16:49,564 --> 00:16:52,046 When he breaks out, he always goes to IKEA. 405 00:16:52,047 --> 00:16:53,356 That's what he does. 406 00:16:53,357 --> 00:16:54,632 That's... Well... 407 00:16:54,633 --> 00:16:56,287 - That's hilarious. - Okay. 408 00:16:56,288 --> 00:16:58,839 Didn't I tell you not to leave the third floor with him? 409 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,391 - You did mention that. - I didn't really hear it. 410 00:17:01,392 --> 00:17:03,667 I feel like that was more directed to my... 411 00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:04,805 friend, to be honest. 412 00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:06,287 Okay. 413 00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:10,115 Um, so you guys got it from here or... 414 00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:14,011 And... And... And... And we could just take... 415 00:17:14,012 --> 00:17:16,115 We'll just take our licenses back real quick, 416 00:17:16,116 --> 00:17:18,184 and then we'll just be like, "Great meeting ya". 417 00:17:19,495 --> 00:17:20,737 No. 418 00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:25,425 Go get him. 419 00:17:25,426 --> 00:17:27,115 Okay, um... 420 00:17:27,116 --> 00:17:29,184 Do you think that we can leave our bags... 421 00:17:29,185 --> 00:17:30,218 Now. 422 00:17:30,219 --> 00:17:32,356 - We'll take them. - Yeah. 423 00:17:32,357 --> 00:17:33,460 See you later. 424 00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,046 Saul? 425 00:17:38,527 --> 00:17:41,123 - Saul?! - Oh, my God, Abbi. He's here. 426 00:17:41,134 --> 00:17:43,942 Oh, my gosh, Saul, we've been looking everywhere for you! 427 00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,494 God! 428 00:17:45,495 --> 00:17:47,494 Wow. 429 00:17:47,495 --> 00:17:50,701 You know, y-you come in for one thing, and... and... 430 00:17:50,702 --> 00:17:52,839 Like your cousin, the Holocaust survivor. 431 00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:56,253 Before you take me back, 432 00:17:56,254 --> 00:17:59,460 how about some Swedish meatballs? 433 00:17:59,461 --> 00:18:02,460 Mm. I mean, you know I'm in. 434 00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,356 You can leave the hat in the cart. 435 00:18:14,392 --> 00:18:17,391 - These are so good. - Told ya. 436 00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:20,356 So what's up with the IKEA fetish, Saul? 437 00:18:20,357 --> 00:18:22,080 Well... 438 00:18:22,081 --> 00:18:24,874 when I escaped from the camp, 439 00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:27,736 I wound up in Sweden, 440 00:18:27,737 --> 00:18:30,287 and those people, the... the Swedish people, 441 00:18:30,288 --> 00:18:32,253 they were so good to me. 442 00:18:32,254 --> 00:18:35,287 And their furniture was so elegant. 443 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:38,701 So this is like, um, retail therapy. 444 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,551 Makes sense. 445 00:18:40,562 --> 00:18:43,136 Well, we had a great day with you. Thanks for sharing it with us. 446 00:18:43,147 --> 00:18:45,011 We learned so much from you, Saul. 447 00:18:45,012 --> 00:18:46,908 And... And also, the, um... 448 00:18:46,909 --> 00:18:48,942 Holocaust Memorial Museum of New York. 449 00:18:48,943 --> 00:18:50,080 We just stopped by. 450 00:18:50,081 --> 00:18:51,391 You know my motto... 451 00:18:51,392 --> 00:18:53,011 Never forget. 452 00:18:53,012 --> 00:18:54,667 Also... 453 00:18:54,668 --> 00:18:56,529 - don't remind me. - Yeah. 454 00:18:56,530 --> 00:19:00,011 And you look a great deal like my father. 455 00:19:00,012 --> 00:19:01,701 - Are you serious? - Yeah. Yeah. 456 00:19:01,702 --> 00:19:04,609 Really? It's all about... It's all about the eyes... 457 00:19:04,620 --> 00:19:05,793 The moustache. 458 00:19:12,297 --> 00:19:14,572 Oh, my... God. 459 00:19:14,583 --> 00:19:15,911 Okay. 460 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,990 Let me talk to you for one... one quick sec. 461 00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:19,345 Okay. So, um... 462 00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:24,031 I, um... I feel like I gave, um, 463 00:19:24,042 --> 00:19:27,938 this... this guy, like, a good go of it today. 464 00:19:27,939 --> 00:19:32,524 And I-I just don't think that it's really me. 465 00:19:32,525 --> 00:19:34,765 O-Okay. 466 00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:36,972 I mean, I-I-I really appreciate the gesture. 467 00:19:36,973 --> 00:19:38,593 Like, it was so nice that you would think of me... 468 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,351 - It's totally fine. - But, like, it's just not my... 469 00:19:40,352 --> 00:19:42,560 Abbi... Abbi, listen. I thought it looked cute on you. 470 00:19:42,571 --> 00:19:45,604 But you're much cuter without it. 471 00:19:49,214 --> 00:19:51,076 Sweet relief. 472 00:19:51,077 --> 00:19:53,076 Oh, my God. 473 00:19:53,077 --> 00:19:55,558 I feel so much better. 474 00:19:57,043 --> 00:19:58,704 "It's not about the hideous hat." 475 00:19:58,715 --> 00:20:00,783 It's about the head that wears it. 476 00:20:00,794 --> 00:20:02,621 I couldn't help but wonder, 477 00:20:02,632 --> 00:20:06,739 I used to think being Jewish meant IBS, Tay-Sachs, 478 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:11,369 "inherited trauma, and childhood contact lenses." 479 00:20:13,490 --> 00:20:16,524 "But now I know being Jewish is about being resilient," 480 00:20:16,525 --> 00:20:18,593 having the strength to survive the Holocaust 481 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,685 in perpetual exile, as well as being able 482 00:20:21,696 --> 00:20:24,413 to carry a stag table to the parking lot of an IKEA 483 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,027 "at 91 years old." 484 00:20:31,214 --> 00:20:33,593 "And I hope you have the strength" 485 00:20:33,594 --> 00:20:35,524 to accept this little Jew 486 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,765 into your Psychology Gradate program. 487 00:20:37,766 --> 00:20:39,282 "Shalom." 488 00:20:47,052 --> 00:20:48,949 Yeah, I'm getting in. 489 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,203 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 490 00:20:51,214 --> 00:20:53,593 Oh, my God. 491 00:20:53,594 --> 00:20:55,076 Cute as hell. 492 00:21:00,140 --> 00:21:01,381 Are you performers? 493 00:21:01,879 --> 00:21:02,925 No. Why? 494 00:21:02,936 --> 00:21:04,693 The... hat. 495 00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:07,693 Oh, this? No, this is a style choice. 496 00:21:07,694 --> 00:21:12,313 Usually, I'm pro-choice, but I would abort this if I could. 497 00:21:12,324 --> 00:21:14,606 The hat... I'd burn it. 34605

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