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[
]
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00:00:03,402 --> 00:00:05,803
Hi, this is Elizabeth Montgomery
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inviting you to stay tuned
for Bewitched.
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[
]
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00:00:12,211 --> 00:00:14,312
Which would be better
to take to school?
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The buckle from
George Washington's shoe
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or the button from his coat?
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I think you better
leave them both here.
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They're much too valuable.
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NARRATOR: A simple
request, a simple refusal.
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That should have beenthe end of it.
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But Esmeralda was babysitting,
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the sometime maidand the all-time goof-up.
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If Tabitha couldn't havethe real buckle and button,
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Esmeralda would zap themout of the book.
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Instead, she gotthe whole picture.
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Get the picture?
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Samantha and Darrinwere kept busy
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00:00:46,712 --> 00:00:49,180
entertainingtheir distinguished visitor,
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00:00:49,181 --> 00:00:52,350
but the father of his countrywas getting restless.
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So when Samantha's backwas turned,
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he decided to inspectthe state of the neighborhood
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and got himself involved
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in listening and makingpolitical speeches.
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By the time Samanthahad caught up with him,
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the father of our countrywas being arrested
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for disturbing the peace.
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Bail was posted
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and George was returnedto Darrin's custody
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to await a court hearing.
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And Esmeralda finallyremembered the incantation
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to send George Washingtonback where he came from.
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Did she succeed?You bet your boots she did.
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Or rather, shoes.
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Washington's shoes,which got left behind.
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What's a generalwithout his shoes, right?
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So Esmeralda tried to returnthem to the general.
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She goofed, and guesswhat returned instead.
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Right, the general.Who is the lady?
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That's no lady, that's his wife.
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[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
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[
]
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00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:47,565
Martha, may I present our hosts:
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00:02:47,566 --> 00:02:50,368
Master and Mistress Stephens.
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00:02:50,369 --> 00:02:53,905
George, forgive me for not
believing your fanciful tale.
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I should have known
you could never tell a lie.
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How do you do?
DARRIN: How do you do?
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00:02:59,378 --> 00:03:02,046
Who is the magician
responsible for all this?
49
00:03:02,047 --> 00:03:05,750
Me. But I'm no magician.
I'm just a rotten witch.
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00:03:07,086 --> 00:03:09,787
Oh, Esmeralda, y-you had
an unfortunate accident.
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00:03:09,788 --> 00:03:11,555
I'd call it more
of a crack-up.
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Darrin.
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00:03:12,892 --> 00:03:15,426
Ah, Mr. President,
I assure you.
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Esmeralda will find
a way to send you back.
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We're in no hurry.
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I've told Martha so much
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about the wonders
of the 20th century.
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Perhaps Mistress Stephens
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00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:26,938
will be good enough
to show you about.
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00:03:26,939 --> 00:03:28,607
I would like to have
a few private words
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00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:30,242
with Master Stephens.
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E-Esmeralda, while I'm showing
Mrs. Washington around,
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00:03:33,345 --> 00:03:35,413
you better put on
your thinking cap
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00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:37,115
and try to remember that spell.
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00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:40,118
Why? The president just said
he's in no hurry.
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00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:41,987
Esmeralda.
Oh, dear.
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00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:43,754
Don't yell at her
like that or she'll...
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00:03:43,755 --> 00:03:46,057
She did.
Did you see that?
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00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:47,758
That's nothing.
70
00:03:47,759 --> 00:03:50,195
Wait till you see
the miracles in the kitchen.
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00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:53,298
Oh, now you've done it.
She's gone.
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00:03:53,299 --> 00:03:55,166
She's our only link
with the past.
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00:03:55,167 --> 00:03:57,102
Without her, you can't get back.
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00:03:57,103 --> 00:04:00,371
That is precisely what I wish
to discuss with your husband.
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00:04:00,372 --> 00:04:02,941
I'd love to see your kitchen.
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00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,810
Oh. This way.
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[
]
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00:04:09,114 --> 00:04:11,015
Master Stephens. Heh-heh.
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I can't tell you how happy
I am to be among you.
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00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:16,254
Please don't misunderstand,
Mr. President.
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It's not that we don't enjoy
your company, but...
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00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,859
I realize I am somewhat
of an embarrassment to you,
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00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:25,330
but I would be considerably more
of an embarrassment to everyone
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00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,966
if I failed to come
to that hearing.
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00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:30,034
Oh, forget about the hearing,
Mr. President.
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00:04:30,035 --> 00:04:32,304
I'll forfeit the bail.
I can afford it.
87
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:34,339
But my reputation cannot.
88
00:04:34,340 --> 00:04:37,675
I did not force the evacuation
of the British from Boston
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00:04:37,676 --> 00:04:39,644
by running from battle.
90
00:04:39,645 --> 00:04:41,946
But this is not 1776.
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00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:46,117
A coward is a coward in any age.
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00:04:46,118 --> 00:04:48,320
No, Master Stephens.
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00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,623
If I have violated
some rule concerning
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00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,090
free speech or assembly,
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I will defend myself.
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00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:57,828
However, I will rely
upon your advice
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00:04:57,829 --> 00:04:59,789
as to my deportment in court.
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00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,234
What is this?
99
00:05:03,235 --> 00:05:05,537
Oh, well, uh,
that's a dishwasher.
100
00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:08,473
You see, you, uh,
put the dirty dishes in here
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00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:10,708
and then you turn it on.
102
00:05:10,709 --> 00:05:12,443
And then later
it stops by itself
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00:05:12,444 --> 00:05:15,613
and you, uh, take out
the clean dishes.
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00:05:15,614 --> 00:05:17,615
Oh. Heh.
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00:05:17,616 --> 00:05:20,017
Oh, you have two dishwashers?
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00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,353
No, no,
that's a washer-dryer.
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00:05:22,354 --> 00:05:23,921
It does the same thing
with clothes,
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00:05:23,922 --> 00:05:25,490
as the dishwasher
does with dishes.
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00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,726
A great step forward
for mankind, I suppose.
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00:05:28,727 --> 00:05:31,362
Well, for womankind, really.
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00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:34,699
You don't approve, do you?
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Oh, I don't know.
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00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:38,736
I remember, as a young wife
114
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my great pride in the snowy
whiteness of my linens.
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00:05:41,740 --> 00:05:45,476
Oh, nowadays,
snowy white comes in a box.
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00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:49,313
Hm. And the sweet smell
of sun-dried sheets?
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00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:54,185
Eventually, somebody will figure
out a way to package that too.
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00:05:54,186 --> 00:05:57,322
[LAUGHING] Oh, I hope not.
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Well, have you been
properly amazed, Martha?
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00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:02,993
Mr. President,
I have been amazed.
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00:06:02,994 --> 00:06:04,995
Mrs. Washington
has convinced me
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00:06:04,996 --> 00:06:07,432
that we haven't learned
much in 200 years.
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00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,966
Oh, now, now,
Mrs. Stephens,
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George will think
I've been rude.
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00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:12,470
I would never think
that, my dear.
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00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:14,305
Well, shall we retire?
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00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:16,307
This time change
has made me weary.
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00:06:16,308 --> 00:06:17,675
Are we staying?
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00:06:17,676 --> 00:06:20,578
Till after the hearing tomorrow.
What hearing?
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00:06:20,579 --> 00:06:23,147
I'll tell you in bed.
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At least the bed
has not gone out of fashion.
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00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:29,053
Oh, no. It's more popular
than ever.
133
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The guest room
is at the top of the stairs.
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00:06:31,223 --> 00:06:33,023
We'll find our way.
Thank you.
135
00:06:33,024 --> 00:06:34,892
ALL:
Good night.
136
00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:39,264
You know something, Sam?
That's a great man.
137
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,933
And the privilege of knowing him
makes me glad Esmeralda goofed.
138
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:46,203
Oh, well, it's sweet of you
to look at it that way.
139
00:06:46,204 --> 00:06:48,873
Now, get that goof-up back,
because right after the hearing
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I want those two
gently zapped out of here.
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00:06:53,178 --> 00:06:55,780
[
]
142
00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:58,583
Oh, Sam, George and Martha
are already down for breakfast.
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I know. I know.
144
00:07:00,819 --> 00:07:02,287
Any luck getting Esmeralda?
145
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:03,721
I've been trying.
146
00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:08,926
Oh, well, all right,
I'll try some more.
147
00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:12,797
Aries, Gemini and TaurusBlend your voices into chorus.
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00:07:12,798 --> 00:07:15,032
Sing out the name of Esmeralda.
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00:07:15,033 --> 00:07:17,234
Libra, Scorpio and Pisces.
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00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:20,305
These are the timesThat are known as crises.
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00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,740
ESMERALDA:
Okay, okay.
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00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:27,645
But if you holler at me,
I'll just pop out again.
153
00:07:27,646 --> 00:07:29,681
No, he's not going
to holler at you.
154
00:07:29,682 --> 00:07:31,115
Where have you been?
155
00:07:31,116 --> 00:07:32,584
He's hollering.
156
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:34,185
No, he isn't hollering.
157
00:07:34,186 --> 00:07:36,120
He's just been worried
about you.
158
00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:38,490
Yeah?
159
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:42,594
Well, I've been on Pluto,
brooding.
160
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:45,329
Oh, well, if you'd brooded here,
161
00:07:45,330 --> 00:07:48,333
we wouldn't have been
so worried about you.
162
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:51,503
I can't be trusted
near decent people.
163
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:54,639
Yeah, well, just forget that
and try and remember the spell.
164
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:59,109
I have remembered it.
So shall I send them back?
165
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,745
No.
166
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,648
Do you mean to tell me I've done
that brooding for nothing?
167
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:06,684
Uh, no. No, we want you
to send them back,
168
00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:08,853
but not until after the hearing.
169
00:08:08,854 --> 00:08:12,956
Oh, well, then, why don't you
get out of my kitchen?
170
00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:19,764
Breakfast will be ready
in a few minutes.
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00:08:19,765 --> 00:08:22,299
Thank you.
Mr. President, Mrs. Washington.
172
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:23,801
How did you folks
sleep last night?
173
00:08:23,802 --> 00:08:25,236
Not too well.
174
00:08:25,237 --> 00:08:27,304
Martha was kept awake
by the big birds.
175
00:08:27,305 --> 00:08:30,208
Uh, the big what?
Birds.
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00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,710
The make the most monstrous
roar as they fly by.
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00:08:32,711 --> 00:08:34,712
It's frightening.
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00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:36,614
We're sorry
if you were disturbed.
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00:08:36,615 --> 00:08:38,816
The neighborhood's
on their flight pattern.
180
00:08:38,817 --> 00:08:41,318
What species are they?
181
00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:44,055
They're called turbo jetus.
182
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,558
They're very common
and completely harmless.
183
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:47,759
[DOORBELL RINGS]
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I'll get it.
185
00:08:50,095 --> 00:08:53,030
Good morning. Mr. President.
186
00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:54,632
Good morning.
Why, thank you.
187
00:08:56,502 --> 00:08:58,969
Good morning, Sam.
Larry, what are you doing here?
188
00:08:58,970 --> 00:09:00,838
Why, I came to drive Darrin
to work.
189
00:09:00,839 --> 00:09:02,006
He knows how to drive.
190
00:09:02,007 --> 00:09:04,141
Larry, is there
some special reason why
191
00:09:04,142 --> 00:09:05,777
you wanted me to drive with you?
192
00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:07,077
Yes, my seat belt's broken
193
00:09:07,078 --> 00:09:08,546
and I want you
to hold me in the car.
194
00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:10,180
[BOTH LAUGH]
195
00:09:10,181 --> 00:09:12,383
Plus, we have an meeting
with the Whirlaway people,
196
00:09:12,384 --> 00:09:15,019
and I thought we could
go over some ideas en route.
197
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:17,622
Well, w-why don't
you go ahead?
198
00:09:17,623 --> 00:09:20,291
H-he'll be there in a bit.
We were just having breakfast.
199
00:09:20,292 --> 00:09:23,193
Thanks, Sam. I could
use a cup of coffee.
200
00:09:23,194 --> 00:09:24,629
But...
201
00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,368
Uh, L-Larry...
202
00:09:34,239 --> 00:09:37,041
I'd like you to meet
some relatives of mine
203
00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:38,709
from out of town.
204
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:41,211
This is Martha and George.
205
00:09:41,212 --> 00:09:43,648
This is Larry Tate, a business
associate of Darrin's.
206
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:45,950
Heh-heh. How do you do?
207
00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:47,918
What sort of work
do you gentlemen do?
208
00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:49,219
We're in advertising.
209
00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:51,555
Oh, what is advertising?
210
00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:54,258
[CHUCKLES] They're really
out of this world.
211
00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:57,762
Indeed, we are.
212
00:09:57,763 --> 00:10:00,398
Uh, Larry, um, we have
that 10:30 meeting
213
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:01,766
with the Whirlaway people.
214
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,769
Oh, sure, sure. Heh.
Uh, nice meeting you folks.
215
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,871
Never mind the coffee, Sam. Bye.
216
00:10:07,872 --> 00:10:10,308
[
]
217
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:19,350
I-I suppose you're wondering
how I'm going to explain that.
218
00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:21,118
Frankly, yes.
219
00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:23,354
So am I. I mean...
220
00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:26,791
Well, you see, the old guy
is a retired history professor.
221
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:29,226
His specialty
was George Washington.
222
00:10:29,227 --> 00:10:32,296
I'm afraid he finally, uh,
slipped a cog.
223
00:10:32,297 --> 00:10:33,664
No kidding.
224
00:10:33,665 --> 00:10:37,034
Yeah. He insists on using
the name George Washington.
225
00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:39,470
Wears all those old clothes.
And the wife?
226
00:10:39,471 --> 00:10:43,307
Well, she does it
to humor him. It's complicated.
227
00:10:43,308 --> 00:10:45,776
I'll fill you in at the office.
We don't wanna be late.
228
00:10:45,777 --> 00:10:47,911
Heh. I can't help but admire
the old boy.
229
00:10:47,912 --> 00:10:49,947
I say, if you have to go
out of your mind,
230
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:51,081
go out in a big way.
231
00:10:51,082 --> 00:10:52,583
[LAUGHS]
232
00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:56,053
Wait a minute.
I have a sensational idea.
233
00:10:56,054 --> 00:10:57,921
Well, tell me on the way
to the office.
234
00:10:57,922 --> 00:11:00,692
It's so obvious I'm surprised
you didn't see it.
235
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:03,661
In there is the answer.
It's brilliant.
236
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:07,565
How about Washington Whirlaway
washing machines?
237
00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:10,568
A machine that bears the name
of the father of our country.
238
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:12,770
A name that stands for honesty
and truth.
239
00:11:12,771 --> 00:11:14,304
We peg the concept on that.
240
00:11:14,305 --> 00:11:17,207
No, no, no. Mr. Washington
wouldn't hear of it.
241
00:11:17,208 --> 00:11:18,643
Just let me ask him.
242
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,077
No. No...
243
00:11:20,078 --> 00:11:22,980
[
]
244
00:11:22,981 --> 00:11:26,483
Now, Mr. President, we would
like to ask your permission
245
00:11:26,484 --> 00:11:28,686
to use your name
for an advertising concept
246
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,321
for Whirlaway washing machines.
247
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,657
We have an idea
to change the name
248
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:36,060
to Washington Whirlaway
washing machines.
249
00:11:36,061 --> 00:11:38,295
I don't understand.
250
00:11:38,296 --> 00:11:42,867
You wish to use my name
for a commercial venture?
251
00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:45,636
Terrific.
Just the right quality.
252
00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:47,538
Honesty, integrity.
253
00:11:47,539 --> 00:11:50,074
Don't listen to him, sir.
254
00:11:50,075 --> 00:11:53,043
This machine would bear my name?
255
00:11:53,044 --> 00:11:54,378
In letters that big.
256
00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:56,246
Oh, isn't that nice, George?
257
00:11:56,247 --> 00:11:58,649
Larry, it lacks dignity.
258
00:11:58,650 --> 00:11:59,983
What could be more dignified
259
00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:02,319
than a guy playing
the father of our country?
260
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:05,188
You can't get more
dignified than that.
261
00:12:05,189 --> 00:12:06,924
Listen to me, general.
262
00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:09,093
You play along with us
and there's a nice royalty
263
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:10,294
in it for you.
264
00:12:10,295 --> 00:12:13,597
"Royalty"?
After the revolution
265
00:12:13,598 --> 00:12:16,167
they wanted to crown me
king of America.
266
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:21,272
I refused.
I do not believe in royalty.
267
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:26,543
Heh. Well, then, we'll discuss
other financial arrangements.
268
00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:31,816
Does, um, this Abraham Lincoln
269
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:35,319
have a washing machine
named after him?
270
00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:37,888
Not that I know of.
271
00:12:37,889 --> 00:12:41,058
Oh, that's too bad.
272
00:12:41,059 --> 00:12:43,461
Just what is expected of me?
273
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:47,799
To stay home and rest
for the hearing this afternoon.
274
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,967
This isn't going to take
a lot out of him, Sam.
275
00:12:49,968 --> 00:12:52,402
We'll just prepare
a little TV copy
276
00:12:52,403 --> 00:12:54,405
for him to read
to the Whirlaway people,
277
00:12:54,406 --> 00:12:55,907
then we'll send him on home.
278
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,475
Larry, I won't let him do it.
279
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:59,677
Mr. Stephens,
you may be my host,
280
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:01,846
but if Mr. Tate
wishes to honor me
281
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:04,816
by naming a washing machine
after me,
282
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:07,251
I should return the compliment
with a visit.
283
00:13:07,252 --> 00:13:09,153
[CLEARS THROAT]
284
00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:11,222
Shall we go?
After you, Mr. President.
285
00:13:11,223 --> 00:13:13,157
[
]
286
00:13:15,527 --> 00:13:19,363
Well, don't just stand there.
Go after them.
287
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:22,333
And don't let the father of
our country out of your sight.
288
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,235
Right.
289
00:13:24,236 --> 00:13:26,503
[
]
290
00:13:33,745 --> 00:13:35,813
Mr. Jamieson, good to see you.
Tate.
291
00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:36,914
You know Darrin Stephens?
292
00:13:36,915 --> 00:13:38,448
Mr. Jamieson.
Stephens.
293
00:13:38,449 --> 00:13:40,918
And this is the man
who's going to present our idea.
294
00:13:40,919 --> 00:13:43,988
George Washington,
president of the United States.
295
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,956
I'd like you to meet
Hector Jamieson,
296
00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:48,359
president of Whirlaway Products.
297
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:51,095
Jamieson. Jamieson.
298
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,764
There was a Corporal Jamieson
who was in my regiment
299
00:13:53,765 --> 00:13:54,965
at the Battle of Long Island.
300
00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:58,035
He was my grandfather's
grandfather.
301
00:13:58,036 --> 00:13:59,336
He was also a coward.
302
00:13:59,337 --> 00:14:03,007
He was court-martialed
and drummed out of service.
303
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,542
How dare you.
304
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,310
He was only joking,
Mr. Jamieson.
305
00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:09,313
It was no joking matter.
He was standing guard duty.
306
00:14:09,314 --> 00:14:12,516
Let's drop the matter for now,
huh, Mr. President?
307
00:14:12,517 --> 00:14:15,887
Mr. Jamieson, please play along.
He's a bit eccentric.
308
00:14:15,888 --> 00:14:17,321
A bit eccentric?
309
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:19,657
What difference does it make?
Just look at him.
310
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,392
He could be the reincarnation
of Washington.
311
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,693
Now, please, just sit down
312
00:14:22,694 --> 00:14:26,297
and let us show you
what we have.
313
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,698
Shoot.
314
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:29,600
Shoot?
315
00:14:29,601 --> 00:14:32,169
If we are to duel,
I would prefer swords.
316
00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:33,170
[LAUGHS]
317
00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:36,273
He means read it.
318
00:14:36,274 --> 00:14:39,377
"Ladies, this is Honest George
319
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:45,249
"asking you to let a Washington
Whirlaway washing machine
320
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:49,921
"whirl away the dirt
while you wile away the time
321
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:53,323
"and your clothes
will be cleaner than clean
322
00:14:53,324 --> 00:14:56,360
and whiter than white."
323
00:14:56,361 --> 00:14:59,163
How could anything
be cleaner than clean
324
00:14:59,164 --> 00:15:01,032
or whiter than white?
325
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,234
Oh, it's just a way
of saying it, Mr. President.
326
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,303
It doesn't make sense.
So few things do.
327
00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:09,273
Heh. It's a sign
of the times.
328
00:15:09,274 --> 00:15:13,210
"Then use the Whirlaway
washer, America's finest."
329
00:15:13,211 --> 00:15:14,378
Is it really?
330
00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:17,547
Would I lie to you,
Mr. President?
331
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:20,951
I don't know you well enough
to make that judgment.
332
00:15:20,952 --> 00:15:22,787
Mr. Jamieson,
333
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,956
why is this America's
finest washing machine?
334
00:15:29,394 --> 00:15:31,295
Is this some kind of a put-on?
335
00:15:31,296 --> 00:15:36,634
Heh-heh. Mr. President, please,
just read what is written.
336
00:15:36,635 --> 00:15:38,803
Not another word
until you answer my question.
337
00:15:38,804 --> 00:15:41,138
After all,
if my name is to be used,
338
00:15:41,139 --> 00:15:43,741
I will not have it tarnished
by falsehood.
339
00:15:43,742 --> 00:15:46,410
Look, it's a darn good washer.
Now, read it.
340
00:15:46,411 --> 00:15:47,911
Please.
341
00:15:50,715 --> 00:15:55,119
"Superior washing machine."
"Ultra washing machine."
342
00:15:58,190 --> 00:16:01,292
"Standard washing machine."
343
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,895
"Whirlaway washing machine."
344
00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:07,531
Each one looks
very much like the others.
345
00:16:07,532 --> 00:16:10,601
Each one is
very much like the others.
346
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:12,603
Then why do you give them
different names?
347
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:15,072
It's called merchandising,
Mr. President.
348
00:16:15,073 --> 00:16:16,640
You see, Whirlaway builds them,
349
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:18,609
and then stores put
their own labels on them.
350
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:22,112
Whirlaway washing machine is no
better or worse than the others.
351
00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:24,648
Correct.
WASHINGTON: In good conscience,
352
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:26,583
I cannot say that
Whirlaway washing machine
353
00:16:26,584 --> 00:16:28,218
is better than the others.
354
00:16:28,219 --> 00:16:30,287
I've had just about
enough of this.
355
00:16:30,288 --> 00:16:32,556
And so have I, sir.
356
00:16:32,557 --> 00:16:34,792
Yesterday I was arrested
for defending
357
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,860
the constitution
of the United States.
358
00:16:36,861 --> 00:16:42,166
Today, I am asked in the name
of honesty to utter falsehoods.
359
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:45,202
I will not lend my name
to this deception.
360
00:16:45,203 --> 00:16:47,104
Get this nut out of here.
361
00:16:47,105 --> 00:16:49,773
Yeah, get this nut out of here.
362
00:16:49,774 --> 00:16:52,309
With pleasure, gentlemen.
363
00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:54,311
Mr. President.
364
00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:01,118
[
]
365
00:17:01,119 --> 00:17:02,285
Here.
366
00:17:02,286 --> 00:17:03,921
This might not make you
feel better,
367
00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:07,124
but at least you'll enjoy
feeling rotten.
368
00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:09,026
So we lost the account,
369
00:17:09,027 --> 00:17:11,595
but somehow that doesn't
seem to bother me.
370
00:17:11,596 --> 00:17:15,165
Seeing George Washington blast
Mr. Jamieson was worth it.
371
00:17:15,166 --> 00:17:16,200
I'm glad he did it,
372
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,001
and I'm glad
we lost the account.
373
00:17:18,002 --> 00:17:20,604
George, you promised to rest.
No, no, Martha.
374
00:17:20,605 --> 00:17:24,808
I cannot rest until I apologize
to my host for my outburst.
375
00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:27,310
No apologies necessary,
Mr. President.
376
00:17:27,311 --> 00:17:28,979
This afternoon
when I go to court,
377
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:31,115
I promise to cause
as little trouble as possible.
378
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,515
Heh-heh.
I'm sure you will, sir.
379
00:17:32,516 --> 00:17:34,317
Well, we better get going.
380
00:17:34,318 --> 00:17:36,754
Oh, I'm eager to do battle.
381
00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:38,856
[
]
382
00:17:40,825 --> 00:17:42,993
I was trying to be reasonable
with him, Your Honor,
383
00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:44,762
when he pulled a sword on me.
384
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:47,030
Uh, Your Honor,
may I question the witness?
385
00:17:47,031 --> 00:17:49,666
If you're going to act as this
gentleman's attorney, you may.
386
00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:54,571
Officer Crandal,
did you examine the sword?
387
00:17:54,572 --> 00:17:58,109
I don't have to examine a sword
to know it's a deadly weapon.
388
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:01,345
[
]
389
00:18:01,346 --> 00:18:05,449
Your Honor, I give you
the People's Exhibit A.
390
00:18:05,450 --> 00:18:07,284
Now, examine the edge.
391
00:18:09,220 --> 00:18:12,022
That's not a fighting sword.
That's a ceremonial sword.
392
00:18:12,023 --> 00:18:14,158
It couldn't cut butter.
393
00:18:14,159 --> 00:18:16,000
POLICEMAN:
Your Honor, can I see that?
394
00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:27,104
Now, if he had hit me
on the head with this,
395
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,406
the ceremony
could have been my funeral.
396
00:18:29,407 --> 00:18:31,741
Your Honor,
397
00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:34,678
all I can say is,
I was protecting myself
398
00:18:34,679 --> 00:18:36,546
from unlawful arrest.
399
00:18:36,547 --> 00:18:39,582
The citizens of this country
are endowed by their creator
400
00:18:39,583 --> 00:18:41,819
with certain unalienable rights.
401
00:18:41,820 --> 00:18:45,789
Among these are life, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness.
402
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:48,458
And the right of free speech.
403
00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:51,761
POLICEMAN: There he goes again
with all that radical talk.
404
00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,798
Your Honor,
I was only doing my duty.
405
00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:57,835
And he was conducting
a rally without a permit.
406
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,137
Um, what, Officer Crandal,
in your mind,
407
00:19:00,138 --> 00:19:01,639
constitutes a rally?
408
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:04,675
Addressing people
constitutes a rally.
409
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:07,878
How many? One? Two? A hundred?
410
00:19:07,879 --> 00:19:09,980
There couldn't have been
more than a dozen people
411
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:11,615
standing around, chatting.
412
00:19:11,616 --> 00:19:13,350
Well, he was doing
all the chatting.
413
00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:15,019
They were just listening.
414
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:18,555
Well, maybe if you hadn't
come by and broken it up,
415
00:19:18,556 --> 00:19:20,657
they might have chatted back.
416
00:19:20,658 --> 00:19:22,692
As a matter of fact,
it was their chatting
417
00:19:22,693 --> 00:19:24,361
that started him chatting.
418
00:19:24,362 --> 00:19:26,330
Mister...
419
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,165
Uh, what shall I call you?
420
00:19:28,166 --> 00:19:31,802
You may call me
President Washington, sir.
421
00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:36,507
And, um, where do you come from,
president?
422
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:38,475
Virginia, sir.
423
00:19:38,476 --> 00:19:41,712
Oh, yes, yes, where the father
of our country was born.
424
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:45,049
I am the father
of your country, sir.
425
00:19:47,985 --> 00:19:51,788
And how did you get
into this century, president?
426
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:56,893
Providence brought me here,
Your Honor.
427
00:19:56,894 --> 00:20:00,497
[WHISPERS] There, I think I answered
that question without lying.
428
00:20:02,700 --> 00:20:04,235
And how do you plead?
429
00:20:04,236 --> 00:20:06,836
Uh, may I answer that,
Your Honor?
430
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:08,172
Certainly.
431
00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:10,074
Not guilty.
432
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:13,110
Now, Mrs. Stephens, we can't
have our citizens going around
433
00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:15,913
attacking officers of the law
with swords.
434
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:18,249
Ceremonial.
435
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,783
Ceremonial.
436
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:22,886
Especially while masquerading
as George Washington,
437
00:20:22,887 --> 00:20:25,188
which I find offensive
in itself.
438
00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:27,691
I am not an impostor, sir.
439
00:20:27,692 --> 00:20:29,260
Um...
440
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:32,496
Your Honor, I-I don't think
it makes any difference
441
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:34,365
whether he's George Washington
or not.
442
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:36,833
What's important
is that this gentleman
443
00:20:36,834 --> 00:20:38,668
has served to remind us
of the things
444
00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:42,272
that George Washington
stands for.
445
00:20:42,273 --> 00:20:47,210
Oh, I'll be the first to admit
that his behavior, to some,
446
00:20:47,211 --> 00:20:49,546
might seem a bit eccentric.
447
00:20:49,547 --> 00:20:52,716
But what a noble
eccentricity, sir.
448
00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:56,086
I mean, would you rather have
eccentrics who think they are
449
00:20:56,087 --> 00:20:58,355
Benedict Arnold
or John Wilkes Booth?
450
00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:02,259
Your point is well taken,
Mrs. Stephens.
451
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,261
The president
was merely defending
452
00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:05,963
the Constitution
of the United States,
453
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:08,465
which is something
he holds very dear.
454
00:21:08,466 --> 00:21:11,535
And he was acting
under his rights
455
00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:14,305
of peaceful assembly
and free speech.
456
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,342
I rest my case.
457
00:21:23,148 --> 00:21:26,750
Mrs. Stephens,
it's lamentable but true
458
00:21:26,751 --> 00:21:28,985
that there are times
when in the interests
459
00:21:28,986 --> 00:21:31,721
of maintaining law and order,
we...
460
00:21:31,722 --> 00:21:34,858
We tend to overlook those rights
461
00:21:34,859 --> 00:21:37,494
given to our citizens
by the Constitution
462
00:21:37,495 --> 00:21:39,029
and the Bill of Rights.
463
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:47,103
You have quite effectively
reminded me
464
00:21:47,104 --> 00:21:50,674
that this is one of those times.
465
00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:55,245
Case dismissed.
466
00:21:55,246 --> 00:21:58,816
[ALL SIGH, LAUGH]
467
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,684
Thank you, Your Honor.
468
00:22:00,685 --> 00:22:02,285
[SIGHS]
469
00:22:02,286 --> 00:22:03,554
Now, may I have my sword back?
470
00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:07,023
Certainly, if you'll
sign this receipt.
471
00:22:09,894 --> 00:22:12,496
May I ask you a question, sir?
472
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:15,198
You may, sir.
473
00:22:15,199 --> 00:22:18,134
Will you continue
to be George Washington?
474
00:22:18,135 --> 00:22:20,904
No man should live
beyond his time.
475
00:22:20,905 --> 00:22:22,673
Therefore,
although I shall continue
476
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:26,176
to be George Washington,
for I can be no other,
477
00:22:26,177 --> 00:22:28,479
I will not be
that untimely gentleman
478
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,914
in your gracious presence.
479
00:22:32,316 --> 00:22:33,550
Well, what did he say?
480
00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:36,286
He's leaving town.
481
00:22:39,757 --> 00:22:41,392
Uh, Mrs. Stephens.
482
00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:47,498
If he isn't George Washington,
he ought to be.
483
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:50,267
Right on.
484
00:22:55,606 --> 00:22:57,440
[
]
485
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:04,981
We want you to know that
although we enjoyed our visit,
486
00:23:04,982 --> 00:23:07,718
we do feel that we've rather
overstayed our welcome.
487
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:10,053
Not at all, sir.
It was a pleasure having you.
488
00:23:10,054 --> 00:23:11,722
Oh, that's very kind of you,
489
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,924
but George and I
must be getting back now.
490
00:23:13,925 --> 00:23:16,860
Esmeralda.
491
00:23:16,861 --> 00:23:17,861
Now?
492
00:23:17,862 --> 00:23:19,529
[LAUGHS]
493
00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:21,531
Now.
Okay.
494
00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,604
Jive this of weary to begin.
495
00:23:27,605 --> 00:23:30,340
I alive look George on come.
496
00:23:30,341 --> 00:23:31,341
What is she doing?
497
00:23:31,342 --> 00:23:32,609
Tsk.
498
00:23:32,610 --> 00:23:35,678
She's reversing time
by reversing the spell.
499
00:23:35,679 --> 00:23:38,982
Can't she say it to herself?
It sounds ridiculous.
500
00:23:38,983 --> 00:23:42,953
Yeah. Uh, E-Esmeralda,
say it to yourself.
501
00:23:46,157 --> 00:23:48,591
[
]
502
00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:55,364
K-keep going, Esmeralda.
503
00:23:55,365 --> 00:23:57,834
Have a nice trip.
504
00:24:03,508 --> 00:24:05,976
It worked, Esmeralda.
505
00:24:05,977 --> 00:24:08,878
It worked. They're gone.
506
00:24:08,879 --> 00:24:12,316
Gone? Without even
a "fare thee well"?
507
00:24:12,317 --> 00:24:13,583
They waved.
508
00:24:13,584 --> 00:24:15,319
Oh, in that case:
509
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:17,887
[LAUGHS]
510
00:24:17,888 --> 00:24:19,556
[DOORBELL RINGS]
511
00:24:19,557 --> 00:24:20,991
I-I'll get it.
512
00:24:25,196 --> 00:24:26,196
Judge Armstrong.
513
00:24:26,197 --> 00:24:27,864
I must see him at once.
514
00:24:27,865 --> 00:24:29,399
Mr. President.
515
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:31,134
SAMANTHA:
Oh. He's...
516
00:24:31,135 --> 00:24:32,269
He's not here.
517
00:24:32,270 --> 00:24:34,471
We don't have
a forwarding address.
518
00:24:34,472 --> 00:24:36,139
I'll put a tracer on him.
519
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:37,740
What's wrong?
520
00:24:37,741 --> 00:24:39,743
Look, look, look.
Look at this.
521
00:24:39,744 --> 00:24:43,313
It's a copy of a letter from
Washington to James Madison.
522
00:24:44,748 --> 00:24:47,450
The signatures are identical.
523
00:24:47,451 --> 00:24:49,319
Well, the court clerk
is a collector
524
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:50,887
of Washington memorabilia.
525
00:24:50,888 --> 00:24:53,357
He claims that this signature
is authentic.
526
00:24:53,358 --> 00:24:55,325
That's impossible.
527
00:24:55,326 --> 00:24:56,693
Well, that's what I thought.
528
00:24:56,694 --> 00:24:58,795
So we took the signature
to Judge Cramer,
529
00:24:58,796 --> 00:25:00,997
who's also a collector.
530
00:25:00,998 --> 00:25:04,668
He offered me $500
for the autograph.
531
00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:07,070
He insists it's authentic.
532
00:25:07,071 --> 00:25:08,505
You don't say.
533
00:25:08,506 --> 00:25:11,774
Well, it can't be. Can it?
534
00:25:11,775 --> 00:25:15,245
Well, uh, like you said,
535
00:25:15,246 --> 00:25:18,281
if he isn't George Washington,
536
00:25:18,282 --> 00:25:19,282
he oughta be.
537
00:25:19,283 --> 00:25:22,185
[
]
538
00:25:24,922 --> 00:25:26,890
[
]
539
00:25:26,940 --> 00:25:31,490
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