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1
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:05,670
Hi, this is Elizabeth Montgomery
2
00:00:05,671 --> 00:00:08,440
inviting you to stay tuned
for Bewitched.
3
00:00:11,777 --> 00:00:14,813
"Deep in the forest,
the woodcutter built a fire.
4
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:16,247
"'You stay here and rest, '
5
00:00:16,248 --> 00:00:17,916
"the stepmother
said to the children,
6
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:20,552
"'and when we're ready,
we'll come and fetch you.'
7
00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:23,020
"So Hansel and Gretel
sat by the fire
8
00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:26,758
and when lunchtime came,
they had nothing to eat."
9
00:00:26,759 --> 00:00:28,292
A...
10
00:00:28,293 --> 00:00:29,861
Do you know
what was going through.
11
00:00:29,862 --> 00:00:31,128
Hansel and Gretel's mind?
12
00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:35,232
Do you?
13
00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:36,367
No.
14
00:00:36,368 --> 00:00:38,103
Well, they were thinking,
15
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:41,606
"Boy, some kids sure are lucky.
16
00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:44,709
"Some kids have stew
with potatoes
17
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,812
"and milk and chocolate cake
for dinner
18
00:00:47,813 --> 00:00:50,381
and leave half of it
on their plates."
19
00:00:51,350 --> 00:00:54,186
Now, where were we?
20
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:55,753
Let's see. Oh, here we are.
21
00:00:55,754 --> 00:00:57,689
[GROWLS]
22
00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,557
"'What was that growling?'
asked Gretel,
23
00:00:59,558 --> 00:01:01,359
clutching Hansel in fright."
24
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,661
DARRIN: Honey, the Tates
should be here any minute.
25
00:01:03,662 --> 00:01:05,630
And I think your cheese puffs
are burning.
26
00:01:05,631 --> 00:01:09,067
Uh-oh.
Continued same time tomorrow.
27
00:01:09,068 --> 00:01:11,569
What was that
growling noise, Mommy?
28
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:12,904
Sweetheart, you're old enough
29
00:01:12,905 --> 00:01:14,539
to finish reading
the story to Adam.
30
00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:16,041
[
]
31
00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:18,710
Come on, Adam.
32
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:20,779
[TABITHA GROWLS]
33
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,815
"'What was that growling noise"
asked Gretel."
34
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:25,650
A bear?
35
00:01:25,651 --> 00:01:27,018
Lion?
36
00:01:27,019 --> 00:01:28,753
Hansel's tummy.
37
00:01:28,754 --> 00:01:31,056
It was growling from hunger.
See?
38
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:33,992
Aren't they sad?
39
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:36,361
I bet I could cheer them up.
40
00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:43,668
TABITHA:
Hi.
41
00:01:43,669 --> 00:01:45,871
Don't be scared, it's only me.
42
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,706
HANSEL:
Who are you?
43
00:01:47,707 --> 00:01:50,541
Tabitha.
And this is my brother Adam.
44
00:01:50,542 --> 00:01:52,544
We wanna cheer you up.
45
00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:55,380
I'm Hansel and this ismy sister Gretel.
46
00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:00,852
Are you really hungry?
47
00:02:00,853 --> 00:02:04,890
We haven't had anything to eatsince last night's supper.
48
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,157
That's terrible.
49
00:02:06,158 --> 00:02:08,459
I'm going to get you
something to eat.
50
00:02:12,999 --> 00:02:14,900
How did you do that?
51
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,834
Like this.
52
00:02:18,871 --> 00:02:21,172
It only works for witches.
53
00:02:21,173 --> 00:02:23,507
Witches are only in stories.
54
00:02:23,508 --> 00:02:25,076
I'm a witch.
55
00:02:25,077 --> 00:02:26,278
You couldn't be.
56
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:28,914
Witches are mean,
ugly, old hags.
57
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,182
I'm a good witch.
And I'll prove it to you
58
00:02:31,183 --> 00:02:33,051
by getting you something to eat.
59
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:34,986
[
]
60
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:42,059
[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
61
00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:48,499
[
]
62
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,508
[
]
63
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,251
I made another batch
of cheese puffs.
64
00:03:39,252 --> 00:03:40,918
Mm, they smell
good enough to eat.
65
00:03:40,919 --> 00:03:42,287
I thought you might like some
66
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:43,988
before Larry and Louise
get here.
67
00:03:43,989 --> 00:03:47,492
I'll be right with you.
I just wanna fix these flowers.
68
00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:52,597
[SNIFFS]
69
00:03:52,598 --> 00:03:54,832
Hey, something smells good.
70
00:03:54,833 --> 00:03:56,767
My mommy's cheese puffs.
71
00:03:56,768 --> 00:03:58,470
Do you suppose
we could have some?
72
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,171
That's what I promised.
73
00:04:00,172 --> 00:04:03,041
Besides, Mommy
always makes extras.
74
00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:04,909
[
]
75
00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,561
At the risk
of hurting your feelings,
76
00:04:23,562 --> 00:04:25,697
I thought you were on a diet.
77
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:29,167
I am. Why? Do I look, uh...?
78
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:32,904
I said have some,
not the whole platter.
79
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:36,308
I had one cheese puff.
80
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:38,910
Darrin, either they
disappeared into thin air
81
00:04:38,911 --> 00:04:40,645
or into your stomach.
82
00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:43,281
Don't put any money
on my stomach.
83
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,642
Put it on one of your
whacked-out relatives.
84
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,320
Serena. That's it.
85
00:04:49,321 --> 00:04:51,489
She always did
like my cheese puffs.
86
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:56,294
Serena. Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
87
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:59,230
Oh, Serena, stop horsing round.
88
00:05:00,666 --> 00:05:03,334
Hm. Well, maybe it was Mother.
89
00:05:03,335 --> 00:05:05,236
Anyway, I'll fix some more.
90
00:05:05,237 --> 00:05:07,605
I'm going to get the ice for
the drink I'm going to need.
91
00:05:07,606 --> 00:05:09,541
[
]
92
00:05:12,978 --> 00:05:14,312
I guess you really are a witch.
93
00:05:14,313 --> 00:05:16,681
These are the best cheese puffs
we've ever tasted.
94
00:05:16,682 --> 00:05:20,118
These are the only cheese puffs
we've ever tasted.
95
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:22,187
Are you still hungry?
96
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:23,955
Yeah.
97
00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:25,890
Do you like leg of lamb?
98
00:05:25,891 --> 00:05:28,927
I don't know,
but we'll take a chance.
99
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,328
Good, we're having leg
of lamb for dinner.
100
00:05:31,329 --> 00:05:33,131
I'll get you some.
101
00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:35,200
Wouldn't your parents be mad?
102
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:38,469
No, they always taught Adam
and me to share.
103
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:41,406
Would you like to stay over
and have breakfast too?
104
00:05:41,407 --> 00:05:44,141
Papa wouldn't let us.
I'll ask him.
105
00:05:44,142 --> 00:05:46,044
But you don't know Papa.
106
00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:47,544
He doesn't know me.
107
00:05:53,719 --> 00:05:55,053
[
]
108
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,922
That's some trick.
109
00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:02,393
It's easy when you know how.
110
00:06:02,394 --> 00:06:04,829
Now, how do I find your father?
111
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,030
Just wander around.
112
00:06:06,031 --> 00:06:09,401
If you don't find him,
he'll find you.
113
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,836
Sweetheart,
I wish you'd try to relax.
114
00:06:13,172 --> 00:06:14,939
The leg of lamb is on its way.
115
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,741
So just take it...
116
00:06:17,843 --> 00:06:19,444
Sam.
117
00:06:19,445 --> 00:06:21,312
I'll be right back.
118
00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:26,451
I'll follow
the floating leg of lamb
119
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:29,254
and find the culprit.
120
00:06:33,159 --> 00:06:34,925
[
]
121
00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:44,836
What are you two doing here?
122
00:06:44,837 --> 00:06:47,438
We're about to have our
breakfast, lunch and dinner.
123
00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:49,340
I'm Hansel, she's Gretel.
124
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:53,344
And this is leg of lamb.
Who are you?
125
00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:58,683
I happen to be the mother
of a very naughty witch.
126
00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:01,219
Incidentally, where is she?
127
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,522
She went into the book to ask
Papa if we could sleep over.
128
00:07:06,692 --> 00:07:09,294
Oh, my stars.
129
00:07:09,295 --> 00:07:11,896
DARRIN: Sam, did you find
out what happened to the...?
130
00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,533
I knew I was gonna need this.
131
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:17,602
Sam, what's going on?
132
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:21,038
Who are these kids?
And where is Tabitha?
133
00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:24,875
Well...
134
00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:26,711
[SIGHS]
135
00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,879
Uh, this is Hansel
136
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,816
and-and this is Gretel.
137
00:07:31,817 --> 00:07:33,317
And Tabitha went into
the storybook
138
00:07:33,318 --> 00:07:35,453
to ask their papa
if they could spend the night.
139
00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:37,922
Which means I have to go
into the book to find her.
140
00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:39,357
This isn't the kind of story
141
00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:41,692
you should fool around in.
There's a mean witch in it.
142
00:07:41,693 --> 00:07:43,994
Which really
isn't as awful as it sounds.
143
00:07:43,995 --> 00:07:47,665
It's all part of growing up.
Nothing to worry about, really.
144
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:51,436
This is Hansel
and this is Gretel.
145
00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:55,606
That's a book
and Tabitha went into that book.
146
00:07:55,607 --> 00:07:58,109
And you're telling me
this is part of growing up
147
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,445
and nothing to worry about?
148
00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:05,583
Right. Well, except the witch.
149
00:08:05,584 --> 00:08:08,452
Oh, yeah,
that witch is really mean.
150
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:10,922
She's always
turning children into pies
151
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,623
and eating them for dessert.
152
00:08:13,926 --> 00:08:15,026
Bye.
153
00:08:17,129 --> 00:08:18,629
I'll be right back.
154
00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:21,065
Don't let Hansel and Gretelout of your sight.
155
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,400
Okay.
156
00:08:22,401 --> 00:08:25,336
Tabitha. Tabitha?
157
00:08:26,939 --> 00:08:29,641
[
]
158
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:32,744
They'll never believe this
down at the psychiatrist's.
159
00:08:34,045 --> 00:08:36,547
Tabitha?
160
00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,483
Tabitha?
161
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,253
Tabitha?
162
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:45,657
[
]
163
00:09:03,074 --> 00:09:05,042
WITCH:
Nibble, nibble, like a mouse,
164
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:07,244
who is nibbling at my house?
165
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,051
What you want, mister?
166
00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:16,587
You better do something
about those glasses.
167
00:09:18,857 --> 00:09:20,958
I better do something
about these glasses.
168
00:09:20,959 --> 00:09:24,629
Look, whatever you are
makes no never mind to me.
169
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:28,299
Nibbling on private property
is against the law.
170
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,368
Ate away half my roof,
you glutton.
171
00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,937
Well, I'm sorry,
but I was nervous.
172
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:34,905
Uh, I'm looking for my daughter.
173
00:09:34,906 --> 00:09:36,106
Eh?
174
00:09:36,107 --> 00:09:37,975
Daughter.
175
00:09:37,976 --> 00:09:40,945
Won't find no water around here.
My well's gone dry.
176
00:09:40,946 --> 00:09:43,815
[YELLS]
I'm looking for a little girl
177
00:09:43,816 --> 00:09:45,350
called Tabitha.
178
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,286
What are you yelling about?
I don't know no Tabitha.
179
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:50,688
I know a Gretel
and that's all I know.
180
00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:52,356
Look, whoever you are,
181
00:09:52,357 --> 00:09:54,858
I'm a very wicked, old witch,
182
00:09:54,859 --> 00:09:57,861
and I'm getting sick and tired
of you snooping around.
183
00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:00,731
You don't belong here.
This is a restricted story.
184
00:10:00,732 --> 00:10:02,766
Not that I'm prejudiced
or anything
185
00:10:02,767 --> 00:10:05,135
but I have a fond respect
for the classics,
186
00:10:05,136 --> 00:10:07,205
and you don't belong
in this classic.
187
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,740
Now scat. Scat.
188
00:10:09,741 --> 00:10:11,809
Okay, you old bat.
189
00:10:11,810 --> 00:10:14,445
I heard that.
190
00:10:14,446 --> 00:10:16,980
Sorry. Tabitha.
191
00:10:16,981 --> 00:10:18,416
Tabitha.
192
00:10:18,417 --> 00:10:20,351
[CACKLES]
193
00:10:21,653 --> 00:10:23,588
[
]
194
00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:32,663
Well, now,
195
00:10:32,664 --> 00:10:34,298
how do you expect
to grow up to be
196
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:37,668
a nice, plump Tabitha pie
if you don't eat?
197
00:10:37,669 --> 00:10:39,002
[LAUGHS]
198
00:10:39,003 --> 00:10:40,971
I don't wanna be a fat pie.
199
00:10:40,972 --> 00:10:44,108
I wanna be a nice, skinny witch,
like my mommy.
200
00:10:44,109 --> 00:10:45,710
Well, you're a selfish
little girl.
201
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:47,645
I was expecting
Hansel and Gretel,
202
00:10:47,646 --> 00:10:49,947
but being as you've intruded,
203
00:10:49,948 --> 00:10:52,182
you'll do. Heh-heh-heh.
204
00:10:52,183 --> 00:10:55,185
If you don't let me out,
I'll do some magic to you.
205
00:10:55,186 --> 00:10:57,321
Try it. All storybook witches
are stronger
206
00:10:57,322 --> 00:10:59,423
than real little-girl witches.
207
00:10:59,424 --> 00:11:01,492
[LAUGHS]
208
00:11:01,493 --> 00:11:03,527
I want my mommy.
209
00:11:03,528 --> 00:11:07,164
Don't worry about your mommy,
she won't be lonely.
210
00:11:07,165 --> 00:11:09,099
She has a Hansel and a Gretel,
211
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,768
instead of a stupid little
Tabitha.
212
00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:12,703
[CACKLES]
213
00:11:16,141 --> 00:11:19,143
Adam, I wish your mommy
would hurry back.
214
00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:21,079
It isn't
that I don't like children.
215
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,480
This just isn't my idea
of a fun evening.
216
00:11:23,481 --> 00:11:25,116
[DOORBELL RINGS]
217
00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:28,152
Uh-oh. That must be
Larry and Louise.
218
00:11:28,153 --> 00:11:31,488
Now, you stay right here. Oh.
219
00:11:33,258 --> 00:11:34,658
Well, hi.
Hi, there.
220
00:11:34,659 --> 00:11:36,560
Hope we're not early.
No, just fine.
221
00:11:36,561 --> 00:11:37,695
Good.
222
00:11:37,696 --> 00:11:39,063
[CHUCKLING]
223
00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:42,033
Darrin, why are you carrying
that leg of lamb?
224
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:44,836
Well, in the condition it's in,
225
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,938
it couldn't very well
walk by itself.
226
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:48,706
[LAUGHS]
227
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:50,241
Where's Samantha?
228
00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:53,677
She's upstairs doing, uh,
something for Tabitha.
229
00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:55,747
I've been covering
for her in the kitchen.
230
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:57,915
Make yourselves comfortable,
while I exchange
231
00:11:57,916 --> 00:11:59,683
this leg of lamb
for some cheese puffs.
232
00:11:59,684 --> 00:12:01,005
Mm.
Thank you.
233
00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,032
Hello.
Hello.
234
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:14,632
Well, well, what have we here?
235
00:12:14,633 --> 00:12:16,834
I'm Hansel and this is Gretel.
236
00:12:16,835 --> 00:12:18,669
Hansel and Gretel, huh?
237
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:19,770
That's right.
238
00:12:19,771 --> 00:12:22,640
How do you do? Gretel?
239
00:12:22,641 --> 00:12:25,643
We live in the forest
with our father the woodcarver.
240
00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:28,513
And we have nothing to eat
and we're hungry.
241
00:12:28,514 --> 00:12:29,647
Oh, you sound like
242
00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:31,816
you're right
out of a fairy tale.
243
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:34,151
We are.
Tabitha got us out.
244
00:12:34,152 --> 00:12:36,920
Actually, uh,
Tabitha got them in.
245
00:12:36,921 --> 00:12:38,121
[LAUGHS]
246
00:12:38,122 --> 00:12:39,857
Uh, these are friends
of Tabitha's
247
00:12:39,858 --> 00:12:41,692
from down the street.
248
00:12:41,693 --> 00:12:43,093
They're in a, uh...
249
00:12:43,094 --> 00:12:45,463
A play that Sam
is putting on for charity.
250
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:47,798
Oh, well, isn't that nice?
251
00:12:47,799 --> 00:12:50,080
I'm surprised
Samantha didn't mention it.
252
00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:53,504
Well, it just came up.
253
00:12:53,505 --> 00:12:57,708
Oh, well, they're certainly
cute costumes.
254
00:12:57,709 --> 00:12:59,376
Yes, yes. Heh, heh.
255
00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:01,546
Well, come on, kids,
time to go home.
256
00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:04,315
They're neighborhood kids,
live right down the block.
257
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:07,084
Can't we have
something to eat first?
258
00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,820
There's nothing to eat
at our house.
259
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:12,857
They're Method actors.
260
00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,525
[BOTH LAUGH]
261
00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:16,827
[LAUGHS]
They're really into their parts.
262
00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,996
Darrin, have you been drinking?
263
00:13:18,997 --> 00:13:20,898
No.
264
00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:23,234
Neither have we.
265
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:28,172
Oh, well, here.
What'll you have?
266
00:13:29,541 --> 00:13:32,543
Uh, do you have any bouillon?
I'd love a bullshot.
267
00:13:32,544 --> 00:13:34,579
I think I'll stick
with Scotch and water.
268
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,881
Uh, Louise,
wouldn't you rather have
269
00:13:36,882 --> 00:13:38,922
a Scotch and water?
It's closer.
270
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:43,320
Excuse me
while I get the bouillon.
271
00:13:43,321 --> 00:13:45,255
[
]
272
00:13:46,758 --> 00:13:49,093
We'll go out
and find something to eat.
273
00:13:49,094 --> 00:13:51,528
It's nice meeting you. Bye.
274
00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,330
Bye-bye.
Bye.
275
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,767
Aren't they cute?
276
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:04,442
Where are the kids?
Oh, they went home.
277
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:05,609
What?
278
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:06,911
Well, why'd you let them?
279
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:10,714
Well, you just got through
telling them to go home.
280
00:14:10,715 --> 00:14:11,949
As a matter of fact,
281
00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:13,951
you were a little psyched-out
on the subject.
282
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:15,853
But they...
283
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:18,422
Uh. The costumes. They took
the costumes with them.
284
00:14:18,423 --> 00:14:20,558
Well, I'm sure
they'll bring them back.
285
00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:24,462
How can they bring them back,
if they get lost?
286
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:25,962
How can they get lost,
287
00:14:25,963 --> 00:14:28,633
when you told us they live
just down the block?
288
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,634
But, it's a long block.
289
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:32,937
It could be pitch black
by the time they get home.
290
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,705
Uh, I'll be right back.
Darrin.
291
00:14:34,706 --> 00:14:35,940
Hm?
292
00:14:35,941 --> 00:14:37,842
Oh, forgive me, Louise.
293
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:39,844
Uh, Larry, I'm sorry to impose
294
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:41,612
but would you mind
making the drinks?
295
00:14:41,613 --> 00:14:44,381
Believe me, it's no imposition.
296
00:14:44,382 --> 00:14:47,518
Hansel? Gretel?
297
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,253
Hansel? Gretel?
298
00:14:50,254 --> 00:14:51,956
Uh, pardon me, sir.
299
00:14:51,957 --> 00:14:54,492
Have you seen two little
children about so high
300
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:57,962
who answer to the name
of Hansel and Gretel?
301
00:14:57,963 --> 00:15:00,798
No, but Rumpelstiltskin
was by a few minutes ago
302
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:03,634
with a spinning wheel
on his back.
303
00:15:03,635 --> 00:15:05,469
That's funny.
304
00:15:06,905 --> 00:15:09,072
Hansel? Gretel?
305
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,210
[
]
306
00:15:13,211 --> 00:15:14,478
Tabitha?
307
00:15:15,747 --> 00:15:17,314
Tabitha?
308
00:15:28,827 --> 00:15:32,129
Pardon me, are you
Hansel and Gretel's stepmother?
309
00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,864
It depends. Who are you?
310
00:15:33,865 --> 00:15:35,799
Well, I'm here to...
311
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,033
To collect for the poor?
312
00:15:37,034 --> 00:15:39,536
Oh, have you come
to the wrong house.
313
00:15:39,537 --> 00:15:41,137
We are the poor.
314
00:15:41,138 --> 00:15:42,973
Is this the home
of the woodcutter?
315
00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:44,875
You call this a home?
316
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,910
Oh, the promises he made to me
317
00:15:46,911 --> 00:15:49,145
to talk me into this story.
318
00:15:49,146 --> 00:15:50,714
"Brunhilda," he said,
319
00:15:50,715 --> 00:15:53,584
"I will become
a famous woodcutter."
320
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,285
He became famous all right.
321
00:15:55,286 --> 00:15:57,821
Famous for his poverty.
322
00:15:57,822 --> 00:15:59,490
Believe me, madam,
323
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,893
your life will have
a happy ending.
324
00:16:02,894 --> 00:16:05,563
How do you know?
Are you a fortune teller?
325
00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:07,398
No, not really.
326
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:10,401
I'm a witch,
and I'm looking for...
327
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:13,003
Wait a minute.
328
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:14,739
Where did you come from?
329
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,575
From there.
330
00:16:17,576 --> 00:16:21,344
Oh, that miserable Wolfgang.
331
00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:23,747
"Don't go into the forest,
Brunhilda,
332
00:16:23,748 --> 00:16:25,549
"it's dangerous.
333
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:27,684
"There's a mean, old, ugly,
334
00:16:27,685 --> 00:16:31,122
wicked witch that lives there."
335
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,523
No. No, you don't understand.
336
00:16:33,524 --> 00:16:36,293
Oh, I understand, all right,
337
00:16:36,294 --> 00:16:39,396
why he keeps going
into the forest every day
338
00:16:39,397 --> 00:16:43,267
to, quote, "look for
some wood to cut," unquote.
339
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:45,569
What he's really looking for is,
340
00:16:45,570 --> 00:16:47,304
quote, "a little hanky-panky
341
00:16:47,305 --> 00:16:49,940
with the beautiful witch,"
unquote.
342
00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:52,676
Will you please listen?
343
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,712
My name is Samantha.
344
00:16:55,713 --> 00:16:58,549
I am a witch,
but not in this story.
345
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:01,052
If you're talking to me,
you're in this story.
346
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:02,352
No, no, you see, I...
347
00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:04,554
I am looking
for my daughter, Tabitha.
348
00:17:04,555 --> 00:17:06,657
She's about this high
and she has blonde...
349
00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:08,625
I haven't seen her.
350
00:17:08,626 --> 00:17:11,962
Maybe she got lost in the forest
and the witch got her.
351
00:17:11,963 --> 00:17:13,430
If there is a witch.
352
00:17:13,431 --> 00:17:16,500
There is. I was there.
353
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:18,435
She said she hadn't
seen her either.
354
00:17:18,436 --> 00:17:20,137
And you believed her?
355
00:17:20,138 --> 00:17:23,073
Sure, I believed her.
356
00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:25,175
Why did I believe her?
357
00:17:25,176 --> 00:17:27,578
You're not supposed to believe
fairy-tale witches.
358
00:17:27,579 --> 00:17:30,647
Tabitha? Tabitha?
359
00:17:30,648 --> 00:17:32,583
[
]
360
00:17:34,151 --> 00:17:36,319
Do you really think
you need another drink?
361
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,289
Louise, I've got to have
some kind of nourishment.
362
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:40,791
Have a cheese puff.
363
00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:43,994
I said, nourishment.
364
00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:45,929
[
]
365
00:17:48,766 --> 00:17:50,033
Are the kids back?
366
00:17:50,034 --> 00:17:52,168
No.
How about Sam?
367
00:17:52,169 --> 00:17:53,737
Well, she hasn't come down yet.
368
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,138
Do you think something's wrong?
369
00:17:55,139 --> 00:17:57,273
Wrong?
What could be wrong?
370
00:17:57,274 --> 00:18:00,511
I'll check.
Uh, have another drink.
371
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:03,279
Well, I think there's something
radically wrong here.
372
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,049
Only if they run out of Scotch.
373
00:18:07,351 --> 00:18:09,285
[
]
374
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:14,525
WITCH:
Nibble, nibble like a mouse,
375
00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,760
who is nibbling at my house?
376
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:19,730
Just knock it off
and come out here.
377
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,534
Yes?
378
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:25,369
It's me again.
379
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,971
Go away.
I'm about to bake my supper.
380
00:18:27,972 --> 00:18:30,340
And who would that be?
381
00:18:30,341 --> 00:18:32,076
I don't give out recipes.
382
00:18:32,077 --> 00:18:33,744
Now take off, before I do
something...
383
00:18:33,745 --> 00:18:36,046
[CACKLES]
...nasty.
384
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:39,482
You mean, like this?
385
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:43,888
[SCREAMS]
386
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,323
Give me back my cane.
387
00:18:46,324 --> 00:18:49,226
Oh, gladly.
388
00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:56,566
This isn't a cane, it's a wand.
389
00:18:56,567 --> 00:18:58,335
Of course.
390
00:18:58,336 --> 00:19:01,138
And I am going to turn you
into a fairy godmother.
391
00:19:01,139 --> 00:19:03,440
For your information,
you're not messing around
392
00:19:03,441 --> 00:19:04,775
with any storybook witch.
393
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:07,410
I happen to be the real thing.
394
00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:13,217
I can't be a fairy godmother.
395
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:15,485
A fairy godmother is good
and sweet.
396
00:19:15,486 --> 00:19:17,087
Yuck. And kind.
397
00:19:17,088 --> 00:19:18,688
It'll ruin the story.
398
00:19:18,689 --> 00:19:21,091
Yes, I know.
399
00:19:21,092 --> 00:19:22,793
Oh, please, please.
You can't do this
400
00:19:22,794 --> 00:19:24,428
to millions of little children.
401
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:27,564
Okay. Where's Tabitha?
402
00:19:27,565 --> 00:19:29,600
What did you say
your daughter's name was?
403
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:32,569
Tabitha. Tabitha Stephens.
404
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:35,806
Oh, that Tabitha.
Oh, she's a lovely child.
405
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,141
I tell you what.
406
00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:39,910
You turn me back
and I'll take you right to her.
407
00:19:39,911 --> 00:19:42,446
[CACKLES]
408
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:45,215
Thank you, thank you.
Come, come.
409
00:19:46,451 --> 00:19:48,385
[
]
410
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:53,324
Mommy.
411
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,624
Hi, sweetheart.
412
00:19:54,625 --> 00:19:57,227
I can't say
I'm not glad to see you.
413
00:19:57,228 --> 00:19:59,096
But when I get over my relief,
414
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,199
I am going to be very angry.
415
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,568
How can you be angry
at this poor, little darling?
416
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:07,571
Poor dear was wandering around
in the woods lost,
417
00:20:07,572 --> 00:20:10,474
and Grandma put her
in the guest room.
418
00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:11,909
Well, we'll have her out
in a minute,
419
00:20:11,910 --> 00:20:14,278
as soon as I find the key.
420
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,813
Let's go.
421
00:20:19,684 --> 00:20:20,851
Good riddance.
422
00:20:20,852 --> 00:20:22,786
[CACKLES]
423
00:20:25,757 --> 00:20:28,591
All right, young lady,
now you stay right here.
424
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:30,160
You have been
a very naughty girl,
425
00:20:30,161 --> 00:20:31,461
and believe me,
426
00:20:31,462 --> 00:20:35,199
there's going to be some
serious discussion later.
427
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,334
Okay, Mommy.
428
00:20:39,304 --> 00:20:42,206
Thank you very much, officers,
for bringing the kids home.
429
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:44,141
But we don't live here.
430
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:45,676
Well, where do you live?
431
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,377
We live in the forest.
432
00:20:47,378 --> 00:20:49,212
These are real wiseacre kids.
433
00:20:49,213 --> 00:20:51,782
You can never get
a straight answer from them.
434
00:20:51,783 --> 00:20:53,783
LARRY:
What's the trouble, officers?
435
00:20:53,784 --> 00:20:55,486
Oh, don't worry, Larry,
I'll handle it.
436
00:20:55,487 --> 00:20:56,886
Why don't you fix another drink?
437
00:20:56,887 --> 00:20:58,722
I just fixed myself
another drink.
438
00:20:58,723 --> 00:21:01,458
Well, then, fix me one.
439
00:21:01,459 --> 00:21:03,560
All right.
440
00:21:03,561 --> 00:21:05,362
Now, what's the problem,
officer?
441
00:21:05,363 --> 00:21:06,896
I'll tell you
what's the problem.
442
00:21:06,897 --> 00:21:08,365
What's the problem, officer?
443
00:21:08,366 --> 00:21:09,899
I'll tell you
what's the problem.
444
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:11,368
It's about time.
I'll explain.
445
00:21:11,369 --> 00:21:12,702
What's the problem, officer?
446
00:21:12,703 --> 00:21:15,071
I'll tell you...
447
00:21:15,072 --> 00:21:16,740
If you'll let me
finish the sentence,
448
00:21:16,741 --> 00:21:18,808
I'll tell you
what's the problem.
449
00:21:18,809 --> 00:21:20,577
The problem is
these two kids were caught
450
00:21:20,578 --> 00:21:22,412
stealing ice cream
from a street vendor.
451
00:21:23,848 --> 00:21:27,718
Now, two popsicles we can
overlook, but two gallons?
452
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:29,419
We were very hungry.
453
00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:31,488
And we can't get
their names out of them.
454
00:21:31,489 --> 00:21:32,555
We told you.
455
00:21:32,556 --> 00:21:36,026
I'm Hansel and she's Gretel.
456
00:21:36,027 --> 00:21:38,528
And I told you,
I'm Humpty and he's Dumpty.
457
00:21:38,529 --> 00:21:41,264
And you know what they said
when we asked their last names?
458
00:21:41,265 --> 00:21:42,900
OFFICER 1:
Said they didn't have one.
459
00:21:42,901 --> 00:21:44,568
They were too poor to have one.
460
00:21:44,569 --> 00:21:46,836
Look, officer, how much
was the ice cream?
461
00:21:46,837 --> 00:21:48,438
We'll make it good.
462
00:21:48,439 --> 00:21:51,241
Oh, no, no, no, ma'am.
That won't teach them a lesson.
463
00:21:51,242 --> 00:21:54,010
After all, we have to maintain
law and order in the streets.
464
00:21:54,011 --> 00:21:57,247
First it's ice cream,
next it's banks.
465
00:21:59,617 --> 00:22:01,151
Well, you say
they're not your kids.
466
00:22:01,152 --> 00:22:02,485
Now, where do they live?
467
00:22:02,486 --> 00:22:04,988
We told you, in the forest.
468
00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:07,857
Uh,
469
00:22:07,858 --> 00:22:10,927
they are very
imaginative children.
470
00:22:10,928 --> 00:22:12,629
Uh, actually, they live
471
00:22:12,630 --> 00:22:16,467
at 1432 Forest Lane Drive.
472
00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:19,736
Fine. We have to make
a report on it.
473
00:22:19,737 --> 00:22:23,073
We'll notify their parents.
Come on, kids.
474
00:22:23,074 --> 00:22:24,708
It's okay, kids.
475
00:22:24,709 --> 00:22:28,478
Uh, you'll be going home
in just a second.
476
00:22:28,479 --> 00:22:29,545
Tell Tabitha,
477
00:22:29,546 --> 00:22:31,782
thank you very much
for the cheese puffs.
478
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:33,384
You're welcome.
479
00:22:33,385 --> 00:22:35,319
All right, hurry up,
we're wasting time here.
480
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,254
[
]
481
00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:48,431
Charley?
482
00:22:48,432 --> 00:22:51,134
Yeah?
483
00:22:51,135 --> 00:22:53,569
Did you see what I saw?
484
00:22:53,570 --> 00:22:54,805
What did you see?
485
00:22:54,806 --> 00:22:57,774
Well, I'd rather not say.
486
00:22:57,775 --> 00:23:01,211
If you'd rather not say,
why should I pry?
487
00:23:01,212 --> 00:23:03,647
[
]
488
00:23:05,049 --> 00:23:06,049
Where'd they go?
489
00:23:06,050 --> 00:23:07,417
They're upstairs.
490
00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:09,753
I'll go up and see to it
they get back in the book.
491
00:23:09,754 --> 00:23:12,022
You cover with Larry and Louise.
492
00:23:12,023 --> 00:23:14,543
Why don't you two have
a little drink before...?
493
00:23:16,694 --> 00:23:19,763
I don't think Larry
needs another drink.
494
00:23:19,764 --> 00:23:22,499
Louise, I'm sorry.
495
00:23:22,500 --> 00:23:23,900
Larry?
496
00:23:23,901 --> 00:23:26,303
[SNORES]
497
00:23:26,304 --> 00:23:28,138
[
]
498
00:23:35,613 --> 00:23:37,481
[
]
499
00:23:39,450 --> 00:23:40,817
This is the first time
in my life
500
00:23:40,818 --> 00:23:42,753
I've had a hangover
before dinner.
501
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:44,688
Well, I'm very sorry, Larry,
502
00:23:44,689 --> 00:23:48,091
but, uh, I was having
a little trouble with Tabitha.
503
00:23:48,092 --> 00:23:49,860
Yes.
504
00:23:49,861 --> 00:23:53,897
It's this play that Sam
is directing for charity.
505
00:23:53,898 --> 00:23:54,964
Tabitha was very jealous,
506
00:23:54,965 --> 00:23:57,033
because she wanted to play
the part of Gretel
507
00:23:57,034 --> 00:24:00,070
instead of the part
of the wicked, old witch and...
508
00:24:00,071 --> 00:24:01,438
[LAUGHS] Yes.
509
00:24:01,439 --> 00:24:05,174
You know how it is with these
temperamental actresses.
510
00:24:05,175 --> 00:24:07,511
Well, those kids you got
to play Hansel and Gretel
511
00:24:07,512 --> 00:24:09,245
are certainly convincing.
512
00:24:09,246 --> 00:24:11,548
Yes. Yes, they were,
weren't they?
513
00:24:11,549 --> 00:24:14,518
When's the play going to be,
Samantha?
514
00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:17,287
When?
Oh, I don't know.
515
00:24:17,288 --> 00:24:19,856
Uh, sometime next month.
516
00:24:19,857 --> 00:24:22,258
Oh, that's a shame.
They seem ready right now.
517
00:24:22,259 --> 00:24:23,693
Oh, yes, they're ready,
518
00:24:23,694 --> 00:24:26,329
but we're not scheduled
until later.
519
00:24:26,330 --> 00:24:29,265
Oh, where is it going to be?
520
00:24:30,601 --> 00:24:32,602
Where?
521
00:24:32,603 --> 00:24:34,504
At the community center,
522
00:24:34,505 --> 00:24:36,940
but it isn't available
until next month.
523
00:24:40,445 --> 00:24:42,679
Say, I have an idea.
524
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,514
I belong to
the Women's League, you know,
525
00:24:44,515 --> 00:24:47,617
and we have an auditorium
that seats 300 people
526
00:24:47,618 --> 00:24:49,786
and it's available any time.
527
00:24:49,787 --> 00:24:51,888
A-any time, huh?
528
00:24:54,358 --> 00:24:57,961
Well, I don't know if I can get
the sets and everything ready.
529
00:24:57,962 --> 00:25:00,463
Oh, don't worry,
I'll pitch in and help.
530
00:25:00,464 --> 00:25:02,699
You just worry
about the creative work.
531
00:25:03,934 --> 00:25:06,503
You're very good at that, Sam.
532
00:25:08,672 --> 00:25:10,106
How did you, uh,
533
00:25:10,107 --> 00:25:12,241
get started on this play?
534
00:25:13,411 --> 00:25:15,412
It was Darrin's idea.
535
00:25:15,413 --> 00:25:16,713
[
]
536
00:25:26,991 --> 00:25:28,892
[
]
537
00:25:28,942 --> 00:25:33,492
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