All language subtitles for Bewitched s07e08 Samanthas Old Salem Trip.eng

Adam wants to say good night.

Mwah.

Sleep tight till morning bright.

[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

I don't know, Adam.

What did he say?

Don't you understand baby talk?

Heh. No.
I have enough

trouble with grownup talk.

He wants to know when Mommy
and Daddy are coming home.

In another week.

Which won't be too soon for me.
[WHINING]

You all right?
I think so.

Well, I'm sorry about that

flock of geese we ran into.

I didn't see them.

Well, in the first place,
it wouldn't hurt

if you looked
where you were flying.

And in the second place,

we shouldn't have been
flying in the first place.

Darrin, when you said

you wanted to come home
right now, I believed you.

I didn't mean I wanted to
fly the proud witch

with the golden nose.

The nerve of that crackpot
Witches Council.

Ordering you not to be
seen in public with me.

Well, I didn't like it
any more than you did.

What are you doing home?

Oh, hi, Esmeralda.
Hi, Esmeralda.

I thought the witches convention

wasn't over till next week.

Did they cut it short?

No. I cut it short.

Are the, uh, children asleep?

Oh. I was just about
to put them down.

Uh, Adam's still
in Tabitha's room.

Thank you.

[
]

Oh, my. She's
put out, isn't she?

Well, she got into a hassle
with the Witches Council.

Well, I don't think
that's so smart.

Nobody defies the Council.

Well, I'd better have
a little talk with her.

Esmeralda, she's worked up
enough as it is.

Don't go up there
and add fool to the fire.

I mean "fuel."

Or do I?

Oh, dear.

"To Samantha,
from the Witches Council:

"You are hereby ordered
to return to Salem

"within 60 seconds of receiving
this Witch-O-Gram

or suffer the consequences."

Oh, dear. I knew it.

I just knew it.

I've gotta give this
to her right away.

But... But what if
she doesn't obey?

Oh, well.

Well, she can't be
that stubborn.

Who says she can't?

Oh, dear. I've
already used up

15 seconds arguing with myself.

Esmeralda, you've got to
send her back to Salem

whether she wants to go or not.

Oh, dear. Maybe I can
figure out

a spell that will do the trick.

Let me see.

Boy, Sam, has he grown.

Did you bring me
anything, Mommy?

Oh, you mean besides
Daddy? Yes.

But you'll have to
wait till we unpack.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I've got
something for you.

Oh, yes. Ah.

Souvenirs of Salem.

[MAGIC CHIMES]

What have you got for me?

You can have one
of these, Daddy.

[CHUCKLES] Okay.

Mwah.
Where's Mrs. Stephens?

Gee, I don't know.

She was right there
a second ago.

Oh, my goodness.
It worked. It worked.

What are you talking about?

First, will you promise
not to get mad?

Okay, okay.

I sent Mrs. Stephens
back to Salem.

You did what?

You broke your promise.

[GROANS]

[
]

Who art thou?

I-I-I don't know.

Why dost thee wander the streets

in thine undergarments?

I-I-I don't seem to
remember that either.

Come inside before
thou art arrested.

Arrested? For what?
Indecent exposure.

[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]

[
]

[
]

[
]

Esmeralda, I know you were
only trying to help,

but don't you think
you should have

consulted
Mrs. Stephens?

There wasn't time.

The Council gave her 60 seconds
to get back to Salem,

and I knew there was
no use arguing,

so I just cast the spell.

It's the first one
that's worked in years.

That's what's got me worried.

Endora...
believe it or not,

I am genuinely glad to see you.

I wish I could say
the same for you.

Where is Samantha?

Oh, Endora, you don't have to

worry about a thing.

I cast a spell and
sent her back to Salem.

You did what?

Oh. That's exactly
what he said.

You mean, she didn't
show up in Salem?

Well, if she had, would I
have come after her?

Oh, dear.

Esmeralda.
Wait, wait. Wait.

Before you fade out...

what was the spell you used?

Oh... uh...

From hoot and holler
Coot and fern.

Flies in the buttermilk
Flies in the churn.

The Council orders you
Not to fail them.

So back you go To good old Salem.

Aha.
Aha, what?

Well, isn't it obvious?

She sent her back to old Salem.

What...? What "old Salem"
are you talking about?

Seventeenth-century
Salem, naturally.

Y-y-you don't mean
the one between

the 16th century
and the 18th century?

That's the one.

Don't fret, Esmeralda.

It's all his fault.

My fault?

Oh, dear.
I hate violence.

I'll be in the nursery.

And I'm due back
at the convention.

Uh, but what about Sam?

You'll go back to old Salem
and rescue her.

Me?
Yes.

While I go back...

and smooth the ruffled
feathers of the Council.

But I can't go back to old...

Well, it's either you
or Esmeralda.

What time do I leave?

[SIGHS]

Well, first...

First, you'll need a magic charm

to restore Samantha's
witchcraft.

You mean, she's without
her witchcraft?

That's right.

Terrific. Old Salem
is just the place

for a witch without witchcraft.

She'll be all right
as soon as you give her this.

It's a magic coin
from the tomb of Hammurabi.

Samantha must place it
on her forehead

and bow three times to the east,
without dropping the coin,

and say the magic phrase:

Ahmed talu varsi lupin.

W-wait a minute.

How is she gonna bow

without dropping the coin?

That's your problem.

That's impossible.

Well, if it was easy,
anyone could do it.

Yeah, uh...

What was that magic phrase?

[SCOFFS]

You have the retentive
powers of a dodo bird.

Ahmed talu varsi lupin.

What does that mean?

"Good luck." In
ancient Babylonian.

Next, you'll need
some contemporary plumage.

Uh, there's one other thing.

Samantha has no memory
of the present,

so she won't know you,
of course.

Uh, of course. What?

Well, how could she?

You haven't been born yet.

You mean I'll be a perfect
stranger to my wife?

Well, stranger, yes.
But hardly perfect.

Oh, by the by,

throw in a lot of
"thees" and "thous."

It was considered
very chic in 1690.

Now... stand
over there.

[
]

Days become seconds
Seconds become night.

Into the past
With the speed of light.

Ice turns hot Fire turns cold.

Send dum-dum back
To Salem of old

[THUNDER
CRASHING]

Uh, what are you
being punished for?

I spoke sharply to my husband.

That's all?

These were the good old days.

[PEOPLE LAUGHING, CHATTERING]

Well. Ha-ha-ha.

That's better, mistress.

Thou art most kind.
I've been thinking.

Perhaps we can employ

this unfortunate girl
as barmaid.

A pint of ale, if it please ye.

And if not, I'll
have one anyway.

[LAUGHS]

No need to shout, Master Luther.

Well, and what be
thy name, wench?

She hath lost her memory
and hath forgotten her name.

I knoweth one thing.

It is not "wench".

Well. She's a spirited
little bundle, ain't she?

Uh, what's the news,
Master Luther?

Oh. Uh, I heard tell, uh,

Master Carson's wife
be arrested and jailed.

What for?

For being a witch.

But not yet tried.

She be as good as convicted.

Oh, that's terrible.
Shh-shh.

Guard thy speech.

Well...

partial to witches, is she?

She said no such thing.

I-I just mean
that everyone

is entitled to a fair trial.

Even a wife.

Uh, mistress, uh,

take these two tankards
to the far table.

I'll help thee.

Thy words contain much sense.

I may have lost my memory,
but I haven't lost my mind.

[
]

[SPANKS] Ooh.

Sam.

It's me, Sam.

Is thy name Sam?
No.

[CHUCKLES]

Look, I know you don't
know who I am,

b-but it won't
hurt to talk.

It will if thee talketh

with thine hands.

Uh, where can I get a pencil?

Uh, where can thee get a what?

Sorry. Wrong century.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING,
LAUGHING]

Greetings, Master Farley.

Greetings, sir.

Uh, greetings.
Greetings, friends.

Greetings.
Magistrate.

[WHISPERING] This man at the
bar that you see there...

Uh, take this coin and do
what I tell you. [GASPS]

Well!
Oh!

Uh, why did you do that?

Just because I am
a barmaid doesn't mean

thee can take liberties with me.

Sir, I'm going to ask thee

to leave these premises.

But I haven't done anything.

I will be the judge of that.

Who are you?

The judge.

JUDGE: I do not know
where thou came from,

for thy speech is strange.

But in this town, we do not
permit lewd conduct.

Oh, I'm afraid there's been
a misunderstanding. I...

Indeed, there has been.
But a day in the stocks

will serve to clarify things
for thee, master.

[SNAPS]

DARRIN:
A day in the what?

The stocks? Oh, now, listen,
you gotta let me explain...

Take him away!

DARRIN: What are you doing?
Don't I get a hearing?

I demand to see a lawyer.

Let go of me!

[
]

Hi.

What are you mad about?

I'm the one that had to
stand out here all night.

I'm sorry.

I don't like to
see people suffer.

How am I gonna
get through to you?

Sam, look at me.
Think.

Search your memory.

Don't you remember me?

[
]

Of course.

You do?

Yes. Thou art the person

who tried to get fresh
with me yesterday.

Here. Take back
thy coin.

Hey, wait.
What is it?

I could use some of that water.

Oh. Very well.

Hast thou had enough?

[SPUTTERS]

[CHUCKLING]

[
]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

Oh. Plague on it.

I've broken my quill.

Oh. And we've
no other.

Oh, what a shame.

Oh, um... here.

Use this.

What manner of a device is this?

As I recall...

it is a...

ballpoint quill.

Ballpoint quill?

It needeth no ink.

That cannot be.

Try it.

It is truly amazing.

May I see that, Master Farley?

[GASPS]

It is a product
of witchcraft, surely.

Saints preserve us.

Did I not tell thee
she was a witch?

Seize her!

[GASPING, MURMURING]

Why dost thou accuse me
of witchery,

when it was the stranger

who gave me this curious quill?

The stranger be accused as well.

MAN: Aye. Aye.

[
]

How can you eat this stuff?

You must dip the bread
in the honey.

I did. The only thing
worse than old bread

is sticky old bread.

We've gotta get out
of this place.

How?

With this coin.

How can a coin help?

It's a magic coin.

Then thou art a witch.

It is the devil's coin.

That's no way to talk
about your mother.

JUDGE:
Fetch the prisoners

and bring them
to the witch house.

They're coming.

Uh, we've gotta get out of here.

Uh, catch.

Well, master.

It is time.

Both must wear shackles.

DARRIN:
Uh, hold on a minute.

I just wanna get
the coin I dropped.

Believe me, where
thou art doomed to go

thou will have little
need for money.

You've gotta listen to me.

These nuts burn witches.

Thou art wrong.

We hang them.

Oh. That's
comforting.

[
]

Admit to witchcraft,
or it'll go hard with ye.

Ye will be hanged
for refusing to confess.

And if we do confess?

Then you'll be hanged
for being witches.

Are you getting the picture?

Custer had a better
chance than we do.

Who's Custer?

Forget it.

And then she draws that strange
quill from her pocket

and hands it to Master Farley.

At once I knew it to be

an instrument of the devil.

How so?

It had an unholy glow about it.

[CROWD MURMURS]

That is absolute nonsense.

The court will decide

what is nonsense
and what is not.

A simple "sit down" will do.

And then she says, says she:

"Everybody's entitled to
a fair trial.

Even a witch."

I said,
"Even a wife."

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CHAINS RATTLE]

If it pleaseth the court...

I wish to confess.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Come forward, master.

Thou art dismissed.

Thou art ready to state

that thou art a witch?

Uh, not me.

Her.

The poor child.
I warned thee

not to trust him.

Thou wast right.

He is a rat in wolf's clothing.

With this coin...

I will demonstrate that
she is a sorceress.

Do as he asks.

Face the east.
Do not heed him.

He is allied with the devil.

There is something in his manner

that touches my memory.

And I must obey.

Take this coin, place it
on your forehead

and bow three times.

But the coin will fall off.

No, it won't.

It's covered with honey.

Bow three times...

and say:

Uh, ahmed...

talu, varsi, lupin.

What does that mean?

"Good luck."

And we could sure use some.

[
]

Ahmed...

talu...

varsi...

lupin.

Darrin!
Sam!

[CROWD MURMURING]

Let's get out of here.

Not yet.

It is true.
I am a witch.

[CROWD MURMURING]

But I am going to prove
beyond a shadow of a doubt

that none of the others...
none of those accused

actually were witches.

And what is the basis

for this absurd contention?

Do you think that mere

iron shackles could contain me?

Now, how can mortals
prosecute creatures

who can transform themselves.

Who can cause fire,
flood and storm?

How can you imprison someone

who can vanish
before your very eyes?

Art thou done?

Yes.

It is thy contention

that a witch can vanish,

yet thou dost not vanish.

No. And
why not?

To make us believe

thou art not a witch.

Yet that what thou
hath proved instead is

that thou art a witch.

For who but a witch
would be cunning enough

not to display her powers?

[CROWD MURMURING]

Seize them and return them
to the jail.

Now, uh, for my next trick.

[CROWD GASPS]

And just in case that

doesn't convince you...

watch this.

[CROWD GASPS]

What a ham.

Now...

do you understand?

The people that
you persecuted were guiltless.

They were mortals,
just like yourselves.

You are the guilty.

It is the recommendation
of the court

that we all repair to our homes

and reflect carefully...

on the illusions

that we have seen
and heard this day.

And then have a pint of ale

and forget that it
ever happened.

Ready for takeoff?

Let us attribute
these hallucinations

to our own witch hysteria.

And I hereby decree an end

to these and future trials.

[
]

[
]

Sam?

Good morning.

Mrs. Stephens
said to tell you

that she had to go out,

but she wouldn't be gone long.

What would you like for brunch?

I don't know.

What can you make without
causing a disaster?

Fortunately, I know you
like to joke,

so I don't resent that.

How about an omelette?

Okay.

Maybe a nice Spanish omelette?

Fine, fine.

Uh, wait a minute.

W-we are talking about
an omelette

made with chicken eggs.

We are?

All right. If that's
the way you want it.

[
]

Oh, boy.
I'm tired.

It's the time change

from the 17th
to the 20th century.

Where have you been?

I had a little
unfinished business

with the Witches
Council, remember?

That's right.
What happened?

Good news. I don't have to
go back to Salem.

That's terrific.
How come?

I pointed out to them
that in their own way

they're just as bad
as the people

behind the original witch hunts.

And their attitude
toward our marriage

is just as prejudiced
and bigoted.

You know something?

You're a good little infighter.

You mean I'm effective
in the clinches?

Yeah.

ESMERALDA:
Brunch is on!

Mm. Mm-hm.

She's making a Spanish omelette.

Oh. That should
be interesting.

[
]

How do you feel about
a plain omelette

with Spanish on the side?

[CLICKING HEELS]

[GIGGLING]

That's interesting.

[
]

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