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1
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,759
Thanks for coming so quickly.
2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,093
I just wanted to have a bit
of a talk about the campaign.
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,759
I've been looking over the books,
4
00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:10,839
and we've got a bit of a funding crisis.
5
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,919
What? How much have we got left?
6
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,119
Erm, none.
7
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,479
I mean, I've been doing my best to
get donations from local grandees,
8
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,479
but, you know, you have to take
them out for nice dinners.
9
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,799
I mean, I've had some amazing
culinary experiences.
10
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,631
- Right.
- But it's very expensive.
11
00:00:26,632 --> 00:00:29,839
You know, and it's utterly inescapable.
12
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,555
(PHONE BUZZES)
13
00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:32,919
Oh, hi!
14
00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:34,839
Lorna.
15
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,538
Wow. Lorna, no way.
16
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,999
No way. Marcus Costello!
17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:47,079
Ken, this is Marcus. We went
out briefly in college.
18
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,319
Yeah, we did.
19
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,199
Lorna was always the one that got away.
20
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,799
Oh, was she?
21
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:54,879
Well... She's still away.
22
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,919
So, how are you? What
have you been up to?
23
00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:02,439
Well, you probably already
know this, but I got involved
24
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,880
in health foods.
25
00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:06,159
- No.
- No.
26
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,639
Well, I did.
27
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,319
Yeah, I started a chain of vegan stores.
28
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,734
- Great Green Grains.
- Nope.
29
00:01:12,735 --> 00:01:13,882
- No.
- Not heard of them.
30
00:01:13,883 --> 00:01:17,159
Well, I sold that, for loads by the way,
31
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,639
and now I invest in
charities and good causes.
32
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:22,519
You might have seen me on telly.
33
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,239
No.
34
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,159
- Really?
- No, not once.
35
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,719
- No, never. No.
- No.
36
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:30,279
Anyway, that's the story.
37
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,999
Very rich, on telly.
38
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,835
- Oh.
- What's yours?
39
00:01:34,836 --> 00:01:39,147
Yeah, erm... This is my
other half Ken, and...
40
00:01:39,148 --> 00:01:42,199
Is he rich and on telly?
41
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,399
Just kidding.
42
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,436
OK, I'm just going to interrupt there
43
00:01:45,437 --> 00:01:48,879
to invite Marcus to dinner
at yours on Wednesday.
44
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,125
- Sorry, what's this?
- Great, love to.
45
00:01:51,126 --> 00:01:54,159
Lorna, it'd be great to catch up.
46
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:55,200
Lorna.
47
00:02:00,428 --> 00:02:01,987
What did you just do?
48
00:02:01,988 --> 00:02:04,234
It's your campaign.
49
00:02:04,235 --> 00:02:06,279
Marcus has got loads of
money, you've got no money
50
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,519
because somebody ate all the
money in the nice dinners.
51
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,039
Yes. That was you!
52
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,553
Anyway I think it would be amazing
for you to cook a lovely supper
53
00:02:12,554 --> 00:02:16,239
for your wife's rich
ex-boyfriend, it'd be exciting.
54
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:18,040
- (PHONE BUZZES)
- Oh, hi!
55
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:21,719
At least I'll get a nice
meal out of it, I suppose.
56
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,279
I'll do that lamb kofta.
57
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:24,599
He's a vegan!
58
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,200
Oh, for fuck's sake.
59
00:02:26,695 --> 00:02:32,695
60
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,479
The things I do for campaign funding.
61
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:37,959
Making tofu cacciatore!
62
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,559
I don't know how people do it.
63
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,359
Nope, no delicious steak for me, please,
64
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,599
I would prefer wet, taste-free
Chinese blancmange.
65
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,719
I can't believe we have to
have Marcus Costello round.
66
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:54,159
Gazing at me like I'm
the Brummie Mona Lisa.
67
00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,159
Oh, where are you going?
68
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,479
A brunch date.
69
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,999
Local businessman, barely
scrapes 10 million.
70
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,639
But my visa's up at
the end of the month,
71
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,959
and I have to be realistic.
72
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,439
Ivy? Ready to roll?
73
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,279
- Oh, hi, Steve.
- Hey.
74
00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:10,839
- Nice outfit.
- It's cool, isn't it?
75
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,599
Ivy chose it for me. Very
retro, very hipster.
76
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,639
Hey, Steve, when you go for
a drive in your new outfit,
77
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,679
does my sister by chance just sit
in the back and not speak to you?
78
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,079
Yeah.
79
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,135
Good guessing, Ken. Very,
very good guessing.
80
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:26,799
Isn't he the most perfect,
chivalrous English gentleman?
81
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,599
M'lady.
82
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,081
Well, wish me luck everyone.
83
00:03:31,082 --> 00:03:32,768
I will be married by the end of the...
84
00:03:32,769 --> 00:03:35,919
- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Oh, he cancelled.
85
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,119
No!
86
00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:39,197
- What a shame.
- Real shame.
87
00:03:39,198 --> 00:03:41,947
Well, I'm sure he'll rearrange.
88
00:03:41,948 --> 00:03:45,439
Oh, come on, Miss Tigglytops,
it's a beautiful day.
89
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,760
Let's go outside and get some sunshine.
90
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,319
Oi, oi, oi! Where are you going?
91
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,159
I've got some ice lollies
in your freezer.
92
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,519
In MY freezer? Why aren't
they in your freezer?
93
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,599
Mine got busted about a month ago.
94
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,359
I mistook it for an armed
invader whilst drunk.
95
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,060
Did quite a lot of damage.
96
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,199
I'm in the friend zone, Ken.
97
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,519
I'm just hanging there.
98
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,919
What's wrong with me?
99
00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,639
There's nothing wrong with you, Steve.
100
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,919
You're one of Jim Henson's
most realistic creations.
101
00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,399
With her by my side, there is
nothing I couldn't achieve.
102
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:22,480
Right. I'm going to have
my lunch in the garden.
103
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,439
(DOORBELL RINGS)
104
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,520
I'll get it! It's Tash.
105
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,753
I did it. I just left
Ben. I said it's over.
106
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,920
Well, you'd better come in then.
107
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,644
- Oh, geez, what a relief.
- It must be.
108
00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:44,479
How was Ben, was he OK?
109
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,359
I've never seen him like that.
110
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,999
He kicked over a Subbuteo table.
111
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,120
Whoa.
112
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:55,901
Oh, God, Tash, I feel so guilty.
113
00:04:56,618 --> 00:04:58,497
- But it's for the best.
- Totally.
114
00:04:58,498 --> 00:04:59,519
Yeah.
115
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,119
I got out of his house and I was
just feeling so brave, you know.
116
00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,668
So I got on the phone
and I told my parents.
117
00:05:05,669 --> 00:05:06,722
Wow!
118
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,354
Sorry, what? You did what?
119
00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:12,160
There's no point in living in
fear, Rach. It's you and me now.
120
00:05:13,669 --> 00:05:15,880
So, when are you coming out?
121
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,000
Coming out?
122
00:05:20,251 --> 00:05:23,838
Sorry, Tash, it's just I'm never
sure I ever felt really in.
123
00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,361
Sexuality's, like, it's a
fluid thing, isn't it?
124
00:05:26,362 --> 00:05:28,463
It's, like... Anyway, weren't we
just going to keep it to ourselves
125
00:05:28,464 --> 00:05:30,347
for a while, you know,
just for Ben's sake?
126
00:05:30,348 --> 00:05:31,959
Mm.
127
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:33,433
I thought, like, a week.
128
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:34,549
Right.
129
00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:36,799
Yeah, no, I was thinking more like...
130
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,199
...I don't know, three years.
131
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,000
(CAR APPROACHING)
132
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,759
Shit, that's Ben's car. Hide.
133
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,359
We should just tell him now.
134
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,080
No! It can wait. Get under the duvet.
135
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,280
Hide?
136
00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:08,919
Hey.
137
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:10,599
You... Give me that!
138
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,217
- Tigglytops!
- Hey!
139
00:06:12,218 --> 00:06:13,639
You give me that!
140
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,240
Give me that!
141
00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:18,719
Great, that's gone.
142
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,519
Poor baby!
143
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,839
Ken, you monster.
144
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,919
What have you done?
145
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,599
What have I done?!
146
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:29,239
Oh, dear Lord. Did she eat any of this?
147
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,719
- What?
- Ken, how could you?
148
00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,392
It's got gluten!
149
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:38,439
You monster!
150
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,399
Is the vet really necessary?
151
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,319
Gosh, honey, I'm so sorry.
152
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,634
We'll be at the vet very soon.
153
00:06:45,635 --> 00:06:48,079
Yes. I know.
154
00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,463
My brother is a horrible person.
155
00:06:51,174 --> 00:06:53,959
Just say your mantras and stay balanced.
156
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,439
Have a little tinkle on the
upholstery if it feels good,
157
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,040
- he won't mind.
- I'll mind. I'll mind.
158
00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:06,260
BEN: I just never saw it coming.
159
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,062
One minute we were watching Aston
Villa's 100 Greatest Goals,
160
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:13,899
and the next she's saying our
relationship is uninspiring.
161
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,158
Oh!
162
00:07:15,159 --> 00:07:16,679
I mean, explain that.
163
00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,719
So out of the blue.
164
00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:21,400
Literally, for all of us.
165
00:07:22,688 --> 00:07:24,247
No-one could have known.
166
00:07:24,248 --> 00:07:28,344
I just haven't felt this bad since
you cheated on me with Dale.
167
00:07:29,409 --> 00:07:31,274
Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.
168
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,919
Thank you for paying for the vet.
169
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,439
So what is the point of free health
care that's only for humans?
170
00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,759
Yeah.
171
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,039
My pleasure, though.
172
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:50,479
Well, apparently the vet's
going to have to put a camera
173
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:51,879
up her backside.
174
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,039
Oh, no.
175
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,359
I know.
176
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:58,702
And he asked me if it was OK if
he gave her local anaesthetic.
177
00:07:58,703 --> 00:08:01,559
So I asked him, would she feel any pain?
178
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,899
- Yeah.
- And he was like, "Some."
179
00:08:05,438 --> 00:08:09,273
And, Ken, I just don't
want her to feel any pain.
180
00:08:09,274 --> 00:08:11,359
I know, I know.
181
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,639
So, I say to him,
182
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:16,199
"Put her to sleep."
183
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,159
And he's all like, "She doesn't
need to be put to sleep."
184
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:23,399
And I'm, "My dog is in
pain, put her to sleep!"
185
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,519
And he was like, "What if
you change your mind?"
186
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:29,679
And I was like, "Why
would I change my mind?"
187
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,799
OK, I'm sorry, Ivy,
188
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,399
did you tell the vet to put
Miss Tigglytops to sleep?
189
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:34,429
Yes!
190
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:38,399
Otherwise she is going to witness
a probe going up her butthole!
191
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,835
I mean, how inhumane is that?!
192
00:08:40,836 --> 00:08:43,799
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but were those the
words you used, "put her to sleep"?
193
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:47,000
Yes, and I had to say it many times.
194
00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,639
Miss Tigglytops was...
195
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,399
...a dog.
196
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,539
And some might say not human.
197
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,900
But if you prick a dog,
does she not bleed?
198
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,520
If you forget to feed
her, does she not starve?
199
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:08,919
And all these things that make us human,
200
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,479
emotions, friendship,
201
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:12,319
love of vigorous exercise,
202
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:16,360
biscuits, Miss Tigglytops
had all these and more.
203
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,880
So I say to the naysayers
loud and clear, not human?
204
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:24,720
She was the best man among us.
205
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:34,799
Oh, Danny boy
206
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:40,760
The pipes, the pipes are calling...
207
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,999
Ken, what am I doing?
208
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,799
My husband's abandoned me,
I'm living in this backwater
209
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,617
far from civilisation
without any money and now,
210
00:09:56,618 --> 00:09:58,639
I have killed my best friend.
211
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,279
Yeah, that is quite depressing
when you put it like that.
212
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,559
Miss Tigglytops was all I had left.
213
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:09,079
Oh, I know, she could be
hypercritical, pompous,
214
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,266
stuck in her ideas.
215
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:13,559
I mean, I never really
saw that side of her.
216
00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,868
You're being kind.
217
00:10:16,501 --> 00:10:20,119
She was the only one to ever
show me any real affection,
218
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,079
my only family.
219
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,759
Hey! Now, we're your family, too.
220
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,930
OK, so you hold some
deranged views, like, mad.
221
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:31,959
But we're here for you.
222
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,920
That's so kind.
223
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,279
But it doesn't really make
any difference, does it?
224
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,839
Who am I kidding with
this visa situation?
225
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,599
I'm never going to find an
Englishman to marry me.
226
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,126
Well, you say that.
227
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,680
I mean, there is someone
who might be persuaded.
228
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,719
Oh, God.
229
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,000
There has got to be a better way.
230
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,799
Are you still up?
231
00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:14,839
Yeah.
232
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:18,915
Mum, how long do you think you
need to wait before you move on?
233
00:11:19,770 --> 00:11:21,130
Oh, Rach.
234
00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:23,600
God knows, love.
235
00:11:25,813 --> 00:11:28,412
I had my heart broken back at uni.
236
00:11:28,413 --> 00:11:31,319
Told myself I was over it
and that's how I ended up
237
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:34,559
with tomorrow's dinner guest,
Marcus Twatface Costello.
238
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,798
- Oh, God. That didn't end well, then.
- No.
239
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:42,359
No, I woke up one morning
and I just thought, "Whoa!
240
00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,599
"This guy is not my type."
241
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,359
Too smooth. I like my men...
242
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:48,439
...craggy.
243
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,560
Mm, I can see that.
244
00:11:51,665 --> 00:11:55,599
Looking back, I think I just went
for something completely different.
245
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,877
Like if I ran in the opposite
direction, I wouldn't get hurt.
246
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,680
- Stupid, of course.
- Yeah.
247
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,399
Stupid.
248
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,639
Yeah.
249
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,359
So stupid.
250
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,159
Really super stupid.
251
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,279
Well, quite stupid.
252
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:14,999
It's just proper stupid!
253
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,839
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
254
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,199
Right, yeah.
255
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,240
Thanks for that.
256
00:12:25,988 --> 00:12:27,388
Stupid.
257
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,719
Steve!
258
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:38,479
You have to stop coming round
in the middle of the night,
259
00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,119
what are you doing in the freezer?
260
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:41,959
Lorna!
261
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:44,599
Mine's still out of action, so...
262
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:49,319
Night-night, Lorna, sleep tight,
don't let the bed bugs bite.
263
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,800
Night, Steve.
264
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,719
She was so young!
265
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,599
And the tragedy is, if this
had happened two months ago,
266
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,199
she could have been preserved!
267
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,639
How do you mean preserved?
268
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,559
By the Mittelfart Foundation.
269
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,839
We had cryogenic facilities to store her
270
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,239
until scientists cure dog death.
271
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:19,400
And now there is no hope of us ever
being reunited in another century.
272
00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:45,119
This is what it's come to, Rach.
273
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:46,399
Cooking my arse off
274
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,959
for some rich vegan who's
got the hots for your mum.
275
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,160
Yeah.
276
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:52,840
Oh!
277
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,199
Mum, is that what you're wearing?
278
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,799
Oldest, tattiest thing I could find.
279
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,319
I don't want Marcus getting any ideas.
280
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,199
Look, all we need to do is just
be pleasant for an evening
281
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,559
and then right at the end,
ask the twat for money.
282
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,840
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Oh, that'll be Tash.
283
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,679
Hi.
284
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,599
- All right, Tash?
- Hello, Tash.
285
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,119
Ben not with you tonight?
286
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:18,839
Oh, I split up with Ben.
287
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:23,799
Oh, really? Oh, poor Ben, what happened?
288
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:26,999
All right, Mum! Bloody hell,
don't give her the third degree,
289
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:30,639
it's pretty raw. Come on,
matey, let's go to my room,
290
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:31,880
look at Facebook.
291
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,033
Matey? You should just tell them!
292
00:14:41,034 --> 00:14:45,599
Tash, didn't we talk about this,
about keeping it on the down-low?
293
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:48,486
Yeah, I was thinking that you're wrong.
294
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,962
Let's just do it, like,
I love Rachel Thompson!
295
00:14:51,963 --> 00:14:53,159
Shush!
296
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,360
Sorry...
297
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,999
You love me?
298
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,799
Well, obviously we love each other!
299
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,719
Oh, so many things ahead,
like living together,
300
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,959
maybe in Berlin.
301
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,399
Kids...
302
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,959
You know, I'd be happy to adopt
a refugee baby with you.
303
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,120
OK, stop.
304
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:13,680
Tash...
305
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,159
Tash, sorry, this is all
just going really fast!
306
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,760
I mean, it's just ideas.
307
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,279
Tash, two weeks ago,
we were just friends!
308
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,319
It just feels like a really big leap!
309
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,843
Rach, there is nothing
to be scared about.
310
00:15:26,844 --> 00:15:28,208
Look, all I'm saying is...
311
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,319
...I don't know what I want.
312
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,559
I'm only just getting over Dale.
313
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,519
Can we not just go back to,
you know, being friends?
314
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,319
And then maybe in a couple of months...
315
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,039
So you don't love me.
316
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,400
You're just playing around.
317
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:46,960
Not deliberately.
318
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,720
(IVY HUMS)
319
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,160
Deep breath in.
320
00:16:02,285 --> 00:16:05,737
And remember to balance your
chakras, Miss Tiggly...
321
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,999
...tops.
322
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,279
Ivy, no words.
323
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,079
I need you to come with me.
324
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,879
What?
325
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,360
Now!
326
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,000
- Where are we going?
- You'll see.
327
00:16:26,137 --> 00:16:27,296
Lorna.
328
00:16:27,297 --> 00:16:29,448
- Marcus.
- So good to see you.
329
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,908
- Flowers...
- Oh!
330
00:16:33,909 --> 00:16:35,359
Wine...
331
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,639
- Right.
- And a sugar-free cake.
332
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,639
It has a taste completely
different to real cake.
333
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,519
Well, that sounds delicious!
334
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,679
I just think it's important
we should stay in shape
335
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,119
for ourselves and our loved ones.
336
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,619
Couldn't agree more.
337
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:52,159
Shall I take it?
338
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:53,560
- Shall I take the wine?
- Yes.
339
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,560
So, you remembered.
340
00:16:58,474 --> 00:17:00,464
- Remembered what?
- The cardie.
341
00:17:01,048 --> 00:17:03,088
You wore it on our first date together.
342
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,971
It was special for me, too.
343
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,439
Can I use the little boys' room?
344
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,759
Yeah, yeah.
345
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,160
Just...
346
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,119
Ken, is your campaign really worth this?
347
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:24,039
It's like you're pimping me out!
348
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,079
Calm down. I'm going to sit him
next to Tash during the meal!
349
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,719
They can have sanctimony pie
together. It's going to be fine.
350
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:32,800
I promise you, it's not
going to be at all awkward.
351
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:44,279
That was a great starter, Ken.
That Hollandaise was delicious.
352
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,919
Let me...
353
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,200
Turmeric, cayenne...
354
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:52,999
...cashew butter.
355
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,999
Spot on!
356
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,959
Oh, you're good. Isn't he good?
357
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,599
Oh, yeah, really good, yeah.
358
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,199
You see, people say to me, they
say vegan food means less tasty.
359
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,599
But actually your taste
buds become more sensitive.
360
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,479
This wine, for example, it's piss.
361
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,959
But it's probably OK for you.
362
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,348
Yeah. No, it is.
363
00:18:13,349 --> 00:18:14,759
For me.
364
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,489
Well... main course?
365
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,719
Are you vegan, Rachel?
366
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,074
Yeah, sort of vegan. You
know, I try, some days.
367
00:18:23,075 --> 00:18:24,879
That's interesting, Rachel.
368
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,653
So you're sort of pretend vegan, then.
369
00:18:27,654 --> 00:18:30,720
Hanging out with vegans
and then flaking out.
370
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:35,919
Mm-hm. Yeah, that's a really
good way of putting it, Tash.
371
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,720
Here we are!
372
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,519
Oh, that smells delicious, Dad!
373
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,039
No, no, no.
374
00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,319
With my nonna's cacciatore,
375
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,479
we always try the sauce
with the bread first.
376
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,560
Like this.
377
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,839
Fingers crossed.
378
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,040
That is...
379
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:58,560
- Wow.
- Ah!
380
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,999
Now I see what you see in him, Lorna!
381
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,959
I didn't at first.
382
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,254
I've never tasted cacciatore like it.
383
00:19:06,255 --> 00:19:10,199
Not a single living,
screaming being involved.
384
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,599
Bravo.
385
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:12,999
(KNOCKING)
386
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,992
- Who's that?
- Let me in!
387
00:19:14,993 --> 00:19:16,294
Sorry.
388
00:19:18,579 --> 00:19:21,198
- Ben, what are you doing here?
- Fulfilling my destiny, Ken.
389
00:19:21,199 --> 00:19:24,479
Where is she? Where is the most
amazing girl in the world?
390
00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:25,679
Ben...
391
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,199
Tash, I am not letting you get away.
392
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:32,959
You say you don't want me,
but I am not losing you.
393
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,879
I'm sorry, I'm snotty but...
394
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,599
Ben, this is not very dignified.
395
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,519
Tash, I may not be the
most fashionable man
396
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,799
or the best looking man,
397
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:48,886
but I am an extremely dependable lawyer.
398
00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:53,479
And I've had a few pints and
suddenly, it came to me.
399
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,199
I had to come here, I
had to, I had to...
400
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,479
Oh, God, Ben, no.
401
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,559
Tash, please, marry me!
402
00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,080
Please! Please! Please!
403
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,680
Yes.
404
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,399
Yes! I'll marry you, Ben.
405
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:19,999
Really?
406
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,439
You're not playing around.
407
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,600
This is awesome!
408
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,639
Are you serious?
409
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,479
Let's get out of here, eh?
410
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,999
Couldn't have put it better myself!
411
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,919
Goodbye, Ken, goodbye, Lorna!
412
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,520
- Bye, Ben!
- I'm getting bloody married!
413
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,320
(SOBBING)
414
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,280
I'm so sorry.
415
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,559
It's just...
416
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:52,363
...he fought for her.
417
00:20:52,364 --> 00:20:53,879
Oh...
418
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,934
He didn't just let her go like me.
419
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,079
I never deserved you, Lorna.
420
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:05,480
Ken, I have been a prick.
421
00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:08,279
- No, no.
- Whatever you want for your campaign,
422
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,200
I'll write you a cheque.
423
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,959
Really? Really?!
424
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,439
- Yes.
- That's great!
425
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:20,160
That's unexpected, that's... So...
426
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:23,800
Turned out all right!
427
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:31,479
Ah, Mr Chance.
428
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,199
And you must be Miss Mittelfart.
429
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,480
- Come in, please.
- Thank you.
430
00:21:34,481 --> 00:21:35,599
Just wait here.
431
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,359
Steve, what's going on?
It's cold in here.
432
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,559
I couldn't bear to see you
upset about Miss Tigglytops.
433
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,599
So I phoned up these cryogenic guys
434
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,239
and I got myself a deal!
435
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,759
- Oh, you...
- I cryogenically froze your dog, yes!
436
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,839
But I could only afford
the head, so I kept her
437
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,599
in Ken's freezer overnight and
brought her here this afternoon.
438
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,239
Oh, Steve, that is so touching.
439
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,457
I just wanted you to
know how much I care.
440
00:21:59,458 --> 00:22:02,239
- I'm here for you, Ivy.
- You are, aren't you?
441
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,520
My hairy little knight.
442
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:08,903
- Steve...
- Yes.
443
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,473
Would you consider marrying me?
444
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,519
- Yes!
- Oh, strictly for visa considerations.
445
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,919
I'm not attracted to you in the least.
446
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,759
Quite the opposite, in fact.
447
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,708
Well, it doesn't matter, I've
got years to turn that around.
448
00:22:20,709 --> 00:22:22,036
- But you won't.
- But I might.
449
00:22:22,037 --> 00:22:23,817
- Not going to happen.
- However you want it.
450
00:22:23,818 --> 00:22:26,359
Mr Chance, there seems
to be a slight problem.
451
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,960
Are you sure this is what
you wanted us to freeze?
452
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,239
What is that?
453
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:38,091
I'm no expert but it looks
like tofu cacciatore.
454
00:22:39,669 --> 00:22:42,159
Let's celebrate, why not?
455
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:43,999
Shall we?
456
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,839
Get it open, Ken, I can hardly wait!
457
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,080
What a night!
458
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,319
- Oh!
- Argh!
459
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:52,879
LORNA: Anyone for more vino?
460
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:54,079
(SHE SHRIEKS)
461
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,359
What is it?
462
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:57,400
God, I tasted it!
463
00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:01,560
What is this? Some kind
of carnivore joke?
464
00:23:01,561 --> 00:23:02,574
No, it's...
465
00:23:02,575 --> 00:23:04,759
Who makes fun of a vegan by
serving him the head of a dog?
466
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,160
I think...
467
00:23:07,635 --> 00:23:10,162
Lorna, you've changed.
468
00:23:10,844 --> 00:23:12,444
You would never have done this.
469
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:17,439
Oh, erm, the cheque, though, cos...
470
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,399
Oh, Ken.
471
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,600
Ah!
472
00:23:20,601 --> 00:23:22,601
473
00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:27,201
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