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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,310 --> 00:00:33,558 (traffic sounds) 2 00:00:51,893 --> 00:00:55,391 (rattling) 3 00:01:26,058 --> 00:01:29,224 (water running) 4 00:01:48,932 --> 00:01:51,765 (rattling) 5 00:01:51,975 --> 00:01:52,975 (bell dinging) 6 00:01:58,975 --> 00:02:01,473 (noises stop) 7 00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:19,556 (water running) 8 00:02:34,557 --> 00:02:37,140 (creaking) 9 00:02:46,849 --> 00:02:50,223 (rattling) 10 00:03:20,891 --> 00:03:23,889 (clinking) 11 00:04:27,931 --> 00:04:32,679 ♪ (Rammstein: "Führe mich") ♪ 12 00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:07,887 Man: Hello? 13 00:06:13,304 --> 00:06:15,345 You've had an accident. 14 00:06:17,179 --> 00:06:18,637 You need an ambulance. 15 00:06:18,804 --> 00:06:21,761 I'll call for one. I'll be right back. 16 00:06:21,929 --> 00:06:25,095 - Lie still here. - No. 17 00:06:25,262 --> 00:06:26,761 No. 18 00:06:26,929 --> 00:06:29,052 Man: No what? 19 00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:31,429 I don't need an ambulance. 20 00:06:31,597 --> 00:06:33,512 Man: I can clearly see you do. 21 00:06:33,679 --> 00:06:36,595 I'll call for one. 22 00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:38,303 In that case, I'll be up and gone 23 00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:40,928 before you have time to come back. 24 00:06:43,262 --> 00:06:44,886 Man: That will hurt. 25 00:06:45,053 --> 00:06:48,970 That's possible. But it doesn't matter to me. 26 00:06:51,637 --> 00:06:53,177 (man sighing) 27 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:56,094 Man: I assume you don't want me to call the police either. 28 00:06:57,387 --> 00:07:00,261 Yes, that's exactly right. 29 00:07:05,679 --> 00:07:07,970 Man: Is there anything you want? 30 00:07:16,511 --> 00:07:20,343 I'd like a cup of tea with some milk. 31 00:07:20,679 --> 00:07:23,011 (man laughs) 32 00:07:23,387 --> 00:07:25,386 Man: Well... 33 00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:30,219 You have to come with me. 34 00:07:30,386 --> 00:07:32,969 I don't serve tea in the street. 35 00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:37,886 Can you walk? 36 00:07:38,679 --> 00:07:39,969 Woman: Yeah. 37 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:44,886 I've even bought a cake. 38 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:52,594 Here's a pajama. 39 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:55,220 Thank you. 40 00:07:55,345 --> 00:07:57,468 I've made up the bed for you. 41 00:07:57,636 --> 00:07:59,677 With clean sheets. 42 00:08:17,636 --> 00:08:20,093 - Man: Sorry. - That's okay. 43 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,342 Man: There. 44 00:08:32,844 --> 00:08:36,509 - I'll wash your clothes. - Not my coat. 45 00:08:37,927 --> 00:08:39,759 It smells rather badly. 46 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:41,843 It's my coat. 47 00:08:42,594 --> 00:08:44,594 The smell won't come off anyway. 48 00:08:45,844 --> 00:08:47,468 It's your coat. 49 00:08:51,886 --> 00:08:54,968 - Man: Do you take sugar? - Woman: No, thank you. 50 00:08:56,677 --> 00:08:58,467 There you go. 51 00:09:00,219 --> 00:09:02,010 Thank you. 52 00:09:08,052 --> 00:09:09,634 So what happened? 53 00:09:10,635 --> 00:09:12,384 Were you robbed? 54 00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:18,634 It's my own fault. 55 00:09:20,468 --> 00:09:22,301 I'm just a bad human being. 56 00:09:23,677 --> 00:09:25,842 I've never met a bad human being. 57 00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:27,509 Well, you have now. 58 00:09:29,968 --> 00:09:32,300 Do you want to talk about it? 59 00:09:32,677 --> 00:09:34,593 You wouldn't understand. 60 00:09:37,427 --> 00:09:38,842 Well, try me. 61 00:09:41,468 --> 00:09:43,633 But I wouldn't know where to start. 62 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:57,092 Why is that ridiculous fishhook hanging there? 63 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,341 Man: That's a fly. 64 00:09:59,509 --> 00:10:02,842 I caught a fish with it once, a rather big one. 65 00:10:03,009 --> 00:10:04,883 Strangely enough. 66 00:10:08,218 --> 00:10:10,466 (man continues) Fly fishing is about tying feathers 67 00:10:10,634 --> 00:10:12,508 and other things to a hook 68 00:10:13,176 --> 00:10:16,550 so it resembles something the fish likes to eat. 69 00:10:16,718 --> 00:10:19,675 And then because the fly is very light, 70 00:10:19,842 --> 00:10:22,384 you have to have a line that is heavy. 71 00:10:23,302 --> 00:10:25,675 It creates the velocity when you cast. 72 00:10:35,925 --> 00:10:40,675 - You fish a lot? - Well, some. 73 00:10:41,885 --> 00:10:43,966 But I don't catch much. 74 00:10:45,301 --> 00:10:48,174 The locals catch a lot more. 75 00:10:49,217 --> 00:10:52,133 When I was young, I... I had a book I... 76 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:53,799 I worshipped. 77 00:11:00,092 --> 00:11:02,300 Man: It was an old book by Izaak Walton 78 00:11:02,467 --> 00:11:03,966 called "The Complete Angler." 79 00:11:07,717 --> 00:11:10,716 It was like a romantic nature bible to me. 80 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,799 Maybe I know where to start. 81 00:11:28,342 --> 00:11:31,341 But if you're to understand, I'll... 82 00:11:31,508 --> 00:11:34,340 I'll have to tell you the whole story. 83 00:11:34,508 --> 00:11:36,382 And it'll be long. 84 00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:40,424 Long is good. 85 00:11:41,466 --> 00:11:44,340 And moral, I'm afraid. 86 00:11:47,925 --> 00:11:50,132 (water running) 87 00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:57,382 Woman: To begin with the bait, 88 00:11:57,549 --> 00:12:00,506 I discovered my cunt as a two-year-old. 89 00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:04,048 Man: "Cunt" is a very strong word. 90 00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:07,424 Woman: Let's call it "Pandora's Box" then. 91 00:12:07,592 --> 00:12:11,506 Man: Um... No, no, no. "Cunt" is better. 92 00:12:11,674 --> 00:12:15,007 Woman: So, I was a nymphomaniac. 93 00:12:15,173 --> 00:12:17,631 Man: Wait a moment, no. Nobody can be a nymphomaniac 94 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,257 when they're only two years old. 95 00:12:19,425 --> 00:12:20,865 I don't think even the strictest God 96 00:12:21,049 --> 00:12:24,673 would see anything else than a child's normal behavior. 97 00:12:25,382 --> 00:12:27,673 What about fetuses? It's common knowledge 98 00:12:27,841 --> 00:12:30,882 that fetuses often touch their genital organs. 99 00:12:31,799 --> 00:12:34,382 Can a fetus somehow be sinful? 100 00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:37,173 Why not? 101 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:39,631 Not according to any religion I know, 102 00:12:39,799 --> 00:12:42,256 unless it's an original sin. 103 00:12:42,424 --> 00:12:43,798 Ancestral. 104 00:12:46,507 --> 00:12:50,172 Or perhaps according to a religion that doesn't exist yet. 105 00:12:50,799 --> 00:12:54,256 According to a god that hasn't yet manifested himself. 106 00:12:54,424 --> 00:12:56,798 But then you can imagine anything. 107 00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:05,047 Woman: At an early age, I was mechanically inclined. 108 00:13:05,215 --> 00:13:10,006 Kinetic energy, for example, has always fascinated me. 109 00:13:10,716 --> 00:13:14,047 And my friend, let's call her "B," 110 00:13:14,215 --> 00:13:16,381 always came up with the ideas. 111 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:21,463 Playing frogs was one of B's classics. 112 00:13:26,382 --> 00:13:27,423 (giggling) 113 00:13:39,464 --> 00:13:41,672 (knocking) 114 00:13:46,215 --> 00:13:47,463 Woman: Joe, are you all right? 115 00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:49,505 Joe: Just a moment. 116 00:13:51,756 --> 00:13:53,088 Woman: Are you done? 117 00:13:54,590 --> 00:13:56,213 (flushing) 118 00:14:03,798 --> 00:14:06,380 For Christ's sakes, leave them alone. 119 00:14:07,506 --> 00:14:09,629 Joe: I loved my father very much. 120 00:14:09,797 --> 00:14:11,171 He was a doctor. 121 00:14:12,172 --> 00:14:14,505 My mother's name was Katherine. 122 00:14:14,673 --> 00:14:16,714 My father called her Kay. 123 00:14:18,464 --> 00:14:22,046 I suppose she was what you'd call "a cold bitch." 124 00:14:22,881 --> 00:14:26,297 She always had her back turned when she played solitaire. 125 00:14:26,755 --> 00:14:28,546 I hated solitaire. 126 00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:30,797 (sighing) 127 00:14:35,131 --> 00:14:37,921 Joe: When we had P.E., I'd climb up into the ropes 128 00:14:38,089 --> 00:14:42,462 and hang there for ages with the rope between my legs. 129 00:14:43,297 --> 00:14:45,754 "The Sensation" we called it. 130 00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:50,338 I remember very distinctly this word, "sensation." 131 00:14:56,630 --> 00:15:00,462 Perhaps the only difference between me and other people 132 00:15:00,630 --> 00:15:04,422 was that I've always demanded more from the sunset. 133 00:15:05,256 --> 00:15:10,087 More spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. 134 00:15:12,547 --> 00:15:14,504 That's perhaps my only sin. 135 00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:20,546 Why are you insisting that children are sinful? 136 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,046 Not children. 137 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,213 Me. 138 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,504 I don't see sin anywhere. 139 00:15:28,005 --> 00:15:29,962 But then I'm not religious. 140 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,795 Well, that's because you don't know the rest of the story. 141 00:15:33,213 --> 00:15:35,336 And by the way, I'm not religious either. 142 00:15:36,422 --> 00:15:38,629 Why would you take the most unsympathetic aspect 143 00:15:38,797 --> 00:15:42,212 of religion such as the concept of sin... 144 00:15:43,171 --> 00:15:45,837 and let it survive beyond religion? 145 00:15:49,588 --> 00:15:52,128 I don't understand this self-hatred. 146 00:15:52,839 --> 00:15:54,421 Well, that's what I said. 147 00:15:54,589 --> 00:15:57,045 - You wouldn't understand. - No, I'm... 148 00:15:58,338 --> 00:16:00,004 I'm sorry, I'll shut up. 149 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:03,420 Please continue. 150 00:16:17,421 --> 00:16:21,336 Nervus... pudendus. 151 00:16:25,838 --> 00:16:30,420 Nervus dorsalis clitoridis. 152 00:16:32,713 --> 00:16:34,211 (laughs) 153 00:16:49,462 --> 00:16:52,586 (leaves rustling) 154 00:17:11,587 --> 00:17:13,794 (birds chirping) 155 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,752 When the ash tree was created, 156 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,627 it made all the other trees in the forest jealous. 157 00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:26,085 It was the most beautiful tree. 158 00:17:29,211 --> 00:17:31,335 You couldn't say anything bad about it. 159 00:17:32,628 --> 00:17:36,210 It was the World Tree in Norse mythology. 160 00:17:36,378 --> 00:17:38,960 Remember, Odin... 161 00:17:39,128 --> 00:17:42,419 He hung from the ash tree, Yggdrasil, for nine days 162 00:17:42,587 --> 00:17:44,294 in order to gain insight. 163 00:17:46,794 --> 00:17:48,961 The ash tree had the strongest wood. 164 00:17:54,336 --> 00:17:56,252 Then in the winter... 165 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:58,210 (breathing heavily) 166 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,793 when the ash tree lost all of its leaves... 167 00:18:03,961 --> 00:18:06,460 all the trees noticed its black buds, 168 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:08,043 and started laughing. 169 00:18:08,461 --> 00:18:10,377 "Oh, look. 170 00:18:10,545 --> 00:18:14,334 The ash tree has had its fingers in the ashes." 171 00:18:17,085 --> 00:18:18,209 See? 172 00:18:19,252 --> 00:18:22,085 You can always tell the ash tree in winter 173 00:18:22,253 --> 00:18:23,335 by the black buds. 174 00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:35,834 Now... 175 00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:40,294 Now this is a lime tree leaf. 176 00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:43,626 - Remember? - I forgot about the lime tree. 177 00:18:43,794 --> 00:18:45,918 I've told you 100 times. 178 00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:49,251 Joe: My dad loved telling me about the trees, 179 00:18:49,419 --> 00:18:51,750 and their leaves, and considered it 180 00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:53,834 part of a good education. 181 00:18:54,836 --> 00:18:58,835 He especially loved the childish educational stories he told 182 00:18:59,002 --> 00:19:01,792 to help me remember what I had learned. 183 00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:05,334 I knew how much he loved telling those stories. 184 00:19:05,501 --> 00:19:08,792 Sometimes I pretended I'd forgotten them. 185 00:19:10,878 --> 00:19:14,543 Father: Originally, the lime tree's leaves were round. 186 00:19:16,210 --> 00:19:18,084 A fox had her den beneath its roots 187 00:19:18,252 --> 00:19:19,917 where she had four cubs. 188 00:19:21,168 --> 00:19:23,542 One day, she went out looking for food for them. 189 00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:26,625 There was a hunt in the forest. She was shot. 190 00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:30,667 Wounded, she crawled back to the den 191 00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:33,959 where she and the four cubs died. 192 00:19:36,751 --> 00:19:38,917 This made the lime tree so sad. 193 00:19:39,585 --> 00:19:40,916 And from then on, 194 00:19:41,459 --> 00:19:44,167 the lime tree decided to have... 195 00:19:45,668 --> 00:19:47,584 heart-shaped leaves. 196 00:19:49,376 --> 00:19:52,834 Oh, yes, that's right. Heart-shaped. 197 00:19:58,625 --> 00:20:00,251 Am I boring you? 198 00:20:00,418 --> 00:20:02,750 Man: No, no. I'm just looking forward 199 00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:05,375 to how you'll get fishing weaved into your tale. 200 00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:09,458 You could start with the fly on the wall there. 201 00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,333 It's called a nymph. 202 00:20:12,084 --> 00:20:13,916 It will tie in elegantly with your discussion 203 00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:19,041 about nymphomania. A nymph is an early stage 204 00:20:19,209 --> 00:20:21,041 in the life of an insect. 205 00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:25,499 Joe: As a quite young nymph, 206 00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:29,499 it was imperative for me to get rid of my virginity. 207 00:20:30,375 --> 00:20:31,541 Hopla. 208 00:20:32,333 --> 00:20:34,709 I kind of knew this boy, J, 209 00:20:34,876 --> 00:20:36,958 who had a moped. 210 00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:39,875 So in my eyes he was rather sophisticated. 211 00:20:41,293 --> 00:20:42,791 I was 15, 212 00:20:42,959 --> 00:20:45,499 and perhaps my girlish, romantic expectations 213 00:20:45,667 --> 00:20:47,165 were a bit high. 214 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:50,000 (knocking) 215 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,000 Joe: But he had good, strong hands. 216 00:20:53,959 --> 00:20:55,250 (air whooshing) 217 00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:57,083 I liked his hands. 218 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,332 Hello? 219 00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:07,916 - Hi. - Hi. 220 00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:25,165 If I asked you to take my virginity would that be a problem? 221 00:21:27,417 --> 00:21:29,040 No, I don't see a problem. 222 00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:34,874 So, um... 223 00:21:37,374 --> 00:21:38,998 Where shall I go? 224 00:21:39,667 --> 00:21:41,416 (creaking) 225 00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:44,582 (thumping) 226 00:21:44,791 --> 00:21:46,790 (J clearing throat) 227 00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:53,248 (engine turning over) 228 00:22:00,916 --> 00:22:02,957 - (engine turning over) - (J muttering) 229 00:22:07,999 --> 00:22:09,873 It's the fucking carburetor. 230 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,999 I just can't work it out, you imagine that? 231 00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:18,874 - That's not very good. - Hmm? 232 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,956 - It's not very good. - No, it bloody isn't. 233 00:22:21,124 --> 00:22:23,164 Ruins the whole idea of having a moped. 234 00:22:26,665 --> 00:22:29,124 You should probably take off your knickers, yeah? 235 00:23:14,248 --> 00:23:17,746 Joe: He shoved his cock inside me and humped me three times. 236 00:23:17,914 --> 00:23:19,873 (groaning) 237 00:23:22,748 --> 00:23:25,455 (gasping) 238 00:23:26,331 --> 00:23:29,581 Joe: Then he turned me over like a sack of potatoes. 239 00:23:37,331 --> 00:23:40,247 Then he humped me five times in the ass. 240 00:23:40,415 --> 00:23:42,289 (crying out) 241 00:23:42,456 --> 00:23:46,455 - (gasping) - (J groaning) 242 00:23:54,248 --> 00:23:57,330 (breathing heavily) 243 00:24:22,872 --> 00:24:25,080 (clattering) 244 00:24:31,330 --> 00:24:33,204 (engine turning over) 245 00:24:41,164 --> 00:24:43,746 (engine starting) 246 00:24:47,414 --> 00:24:49,996 Joe: I never forgot those two humiliating numbers. 247 00:24:52,330 --> 00:24:53,704 Man: Three and five? 248 00:24:53,872 --> 00:24:55,453 Those are Fibonacci numbers. 249 00:24:59,706 --> 00:25:00,872 That may be. 250 00:25:01,038 --> 00:25:03,121 In any case, it hurt like hell. 251 00:25:03,746 --> 00:25:06,871 I swore I'd never sleep with anyone again. 252 00:25:07,038 --> 00:25:10,370 But of course that only lasted a short while. 253 00:25:10,872 --> 00:25:13,412 And now to get back to your fishing. 254 00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:16,663 A couple of years later, 255 00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:18,912 I was at my friend B's, 256 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,579 and as always, she had a new idea, 257 00:25:21,746 --> 00:25:25,079 financed by her younger brother's piggy banks 258 00:25:25,246 --> 00:25:27,287 which she regularly emptied. 259 00:25:32,372 --> 00:25:34,704 We put on clothes later known as 260 00:25:35,413 --> 00:25:37,704 the "fuck me now" clothes. 261 00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:41,495 The idea was a competition. 262 00:25:41,663 --> 00:25:44,161 We were to go on a train trip. 263 00:25:44,329 --> 00:25:47,204 B said there was no need for tickets. 264 00:25:48,163 --> 00:25:50,245 The one who would fuck the most men 265 00:25:50,413 --> 00:25:52,579 when we reached the destination 266 00:25:52,746 --> 00:25:54,787 would win the chocolate sweets. 267 00:25:55,996 --> 00:25:59,287 ♪ (Steppenwolf: "Born To Be Wild") ♪ 268 00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:19,828 Man: May I interrupt here? 269 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:23,995 What you were doing when you walked down that corridor. 270 00:26:24,496 --> 00:26:26,078 You were reading the river. 271 00:26:39,538 --> 00:26:42,995 Man: Most of the large fish stay sheltered from the current 272 00:26:43,162 --> 00:26:45,536 to save energy, and to hide from the prey. 273 00:26:46,579 --> 00:26:48,035 Where the fish hides in the stream 274 00:26:48,203 --> 00:26:50,327 entails a very complicated hierarchy. 275 00:26:52,287 --> 00:26:55,661 The topography decides where the most attractive places are, 276 00:26:55,829 --> 00:26:58,120 and the biggest fish choose the best positions. 277 00:27:06,578 --> 00:27:08,202 What do I do? 278 00:27:08,370 --> 00:27:10,578 B: Smile and make eye contact. 279 00:27:10,745 --> 00:27:12,786 But what if it doesn't work? 280 00:27:13,287 --> 00:27:16,077 If you have to talk, remember to ask lots of "wh" questions 281 00:27:16,287 --> 00:27:17,887 if you want more than a yes or no answer. 282 00:27:18,036 --> 00:27:19,396 Then it'll just happen on its own. 283 00:27:19,495 --> 00:27:22,785 You just take them to the lavatory and you have sex with them. 284 00:27:22,953 --> 00:27:26,119 Oh. What if it's nasty? 285 00:27:26,287 --> 00:27:28,828 Then you just think of the bag of chocolate sweeties. 286 00:28:00,953 --> 00:28:04,160 What... What time is it? 287 00:28:06,494 --> 00:28:07,494 Ten. 288 00:28:22,536 --> 00:28:24,826 Where do you come from? 289 00:28:26,244 --> 00:28:27,617 From home. 290 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,660 Who knows where the lavatory is? 291 00:28:38,619 --> 00:28:41,034 Well, if you take a right, you will arrive at a lavatory 292 00:28:41,202 --> 00:28:42,659 at the end of the car. 293 00:28:42,827 --> 00:28:45,784 At the same time it is so cleverly arranged 294 00:28:45,952 --> 00:28:50,493 that if you take a left turn you will also arrive at a lavatory 295 00:28:50,661 --> 00:28:53,410 since at the end of the next car there is also one. 296 00:28:54,493 --> 00:28:56,659 (knocking) 297 00:29:12,702 --> 00:29:14,242 Let me show you where the lavatory is. 298 00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:48,533 Joe: It turned out to be shockingly easy. 299 00:29:49,326 --> 00:29:52,867 In no time, B was ahead five to three. 300 00:29:53,034 --> 00:29:54,575 And it was exactly right. 301 00:29:54,743 --> 00:29:57,200 Look them in the eye and smile. 302 00:29:58,368 --> 00:30:00,616 But then suddenly, it stopped. 303 00:30:00,784 --> 00:30:04,075 That's a very clear parallel to fishing in the stream. 304 00:30:04,909 --> 00:30:08,575 As it happens, either none of the fish are feeding, 305 00:30:08,742 --> 00:30:10,283 or they all feed at the same time. 306 00:30:10,450 --> 00:30:13,992 They go into feeding frenzy. All bite. 307 00:30:14,159 --> 00:30:16,908 And then just as suddenly as it started, it stops. 308 00:30:18,076 --> 00:30:22,074 It's observable, but it's highly unpredictable. 309 00:30:22,242 --> 00:30:24,658 And it has to do with, I don't know, 310 00:30:24,825 --> 00:30:27,533 weather, barometric pressure, 311 00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:33,075 maybe some fish psychology. If that's possible. 312 00:30:33,242 --> 00:30:37,116 Anyway, the fish most readily bite at the beginning of a light rain, 313 00:30:37,284 --> 00:30:39,657 and I think that's because they feel safe 314 00:30:39,825 --> 00:30:41,824 when they swim in the stream. 315 00:30:42,033 --> 00:30:43,907 Because they can't be seen from above. 316 00:30:44,075 --> 00:30:46,366 The water's surface is disturbed. 317 00:30:48,742 --> 00:30:50,700 But then it started again. 318 00:30:50,867 --> 00:30:53,324 Although, a bit more slowly. 319 00:30:53,492 --> 00:30:56,074 Yeah. I think I know how. 320 00:30:56,242 --> 00:30:59,407 Because fly fishing can be done in several phases. 321 00:30:59,575 --> 00:31:03,783 And if the fish stop biting, you move on to phase two. 322 00:31:03,950 --> 00:31:07,241 And in phase two, you not only imitate an insect, 323 00:31:07,409 --> 00:31:09,866 but an insect in trouble. 324 00:31:10,700 --> 00:31:12,699 You pull... You pull the line. 325 00:31:12,867 --> 00:31:16,824 You tug it irregularly, so the fish gets the impression 326 00:31:17,032 --> 00:31:20,074 that it's dealing with an injured and easy prey. 327 00:31:20,908 --> 00:31:25,157 And then helplessly, let the fly float down the river again. 328 00:31:25,324 --> 00:31:29,073 Then half-heartedly, make a few jumps forward again. 329 00:31:31,616 --> 00:31:34,824 It can be done... It can be done very elegantly. 330 00:31:39,950 --> 00:31:42,073 (beginning to cry) 331 00:31:48,615 --> 00:31:49,698 - (sobbing) - Hey. 332 00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:51,866 Sorry. 333 00:31:52,783 --> 00:31:54,907 Nothing to feel sorry about. 334 00:31:56,324 --> 00:31:58,781 I'm just not feeling very well today. 335 00:31:59,533 --> 00:32:01,365 What could be so bad? 336 00:32:02,449 --> 00:32:04,447 Oh, thank you. 337 00:32:06,282 --> 00:32:09,407 I can't talk about it right now. 338 00:32:09,700 --> 00:32:12,198 Can I just sit here for awhile? 339 00:32:13,324 --> 00:32:15,282 Yeah. Sure. 340 00:32:20,907 --> 00:32:22,489 Man: Is it better now? 341 00:32:22,657 --> 00:32:24,323 (sobbing) No. 342 00:32:27,491 --> 00:32:29,614 (sighing) 343 00:32:35,990 --> 00:32:39,573 - Are you all right? - It's Betty. 344 00:32:41,699 --> 00:32:43,614 I was just told that she's very ill. 345 00:32:43,782 --> 00:32:46,698 Is Betty a close family member? 346 00:32:49,407 --> 00:32:51,656 You could say that. 347 00:32:51,823 --> 00:32:53,989 She's my dwarf hamster. 348 00:32:54,156 --> 00:32:57,781 Man: Dwarf hamster? You can't be serious. 349 00:32:57,949 --> 00:32:59,990 Joe: Well, what was I to do? 350 00:33:00,156 --> 00:33:03,781 And then, I did have a dwarf hamster when I was young. 351 00:33:03,948 --> 00:33:05,947 Man: That you were very close to? 352 00:33:06,115 --> 00:33:08,655 Joe: Not at all. A bloody nuisance. 353 00:33:08,823 --> 00:33:11,738 Dwarf hamster? That's not so bad. 354 00:33:13,490 --> 00:33:15,531 Would have been worse if it were a person. 355 00:33:15,699 --> 00:33:17,656 Don't say that. 356 00:33:17,824 --> 00:33:20,905 I'm extremely fond of my hamster. 357 00:33:21,073 --> 00:33:25,321 Yes, I think that's a rather cynical thing to say about Betty. 358 00:33:25,489 --> 00:33:29,447 Yes, I made the cage nice and cozy for her when... 359 00:33:29,615 --> 00:33:31,989 - When I got her. - I bet she liked that. 360 00:33:33,532 --> 00:33:34,822 Betty was excited. 361 00:33:36,698 --> 00:33:39,738 Joe: One of nature's most meaningless creatures. 362 00:33:40,573 --> 00:33:42,905 Man: You're aware that the choice of a dwarf hamster 363 00:33:43,072 --> 00:33:46,406 possibly suggests certain sexual connotations. 364 00:33:46,574 --> 00:33:47,822 Joe: I can see that now 365 00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:50,905 but it was really not a conscious choice. 366 00:33:52,073 --> 00:33:55,321 How long does a dwarf hamster actually live? 367 00:33:55,489 --> 00:33:57,572 Months, years? 368 00:33:58,447 --> 00:34:00,446 Its life is much too short. 369 00:34:08,364 --> 00:34:11,321 Would you show me where the lavatory is? 370 00:34:12,489 --> 00:34:15,446 I... have to blow my nose. 371 00:34:34,655 --> 00:34:36,905 Joe: Just the same, we were running out of subjects, 372 00:34:37,072 --> 00:34:39,613 and B was ahead on points, 373 00:34:39,780 --> 00:34:43,405 which led us to S's first-class compartment. 374 00:34:47,864 --> 00:34:49,320 Conductor: Tickets, please. 375 00:34:55,322 --> 00:34:57,654 Thank you. Ladies? 376 00:34:59,321 --> 00:35:00,321 Tickets. 377 00:35:10,905 --> 00:35:12,821 Joe: Well... 378 00:35:14,572 --> 00:35:16,445 I think I might have lost it. 379 00:35:16,613 --> 00:35:18,279 Conductor: Perhaps. 380 00:35:19,697 --> 00:35:21,695 Drop yours as well, did you? 381 00:35:22,321 --> 00:35:25,654 I haven't bought a ticket for your shitty train. 382 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:28,237 It's so bloody slow, we should have been 383 00:35:28,405 --> 00:35:30,112 at the end of the track half an hour ago. 384 00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:33,153 Regardless of delays, you still need a ticket, sweetheart. 385 00:35:33,946 --> 00:35:35,570 Eight pounds each, please. 386 00:35:37,696 --> 00:35:39,653 Ooh! 387 00:35:39,863 --> 00:35:42,737 I accidentally tore it up. 388 00:35:42,989 --> 00:35:45,487 Can't expect me to pay for scraps of paper. 389 00:35:46,029 --> 00:35:48,195 - Have another one. - Oh, great idea. 390 00:35:48,363 --> 00:35:50,903 Oh, that one's disappeared too. 391 00:35:51,071 --> 00:35:52,403 I can always just get the police 392 00:35:52,571 --> 00:35:54,570 to collect your payment at the next station... 393 00:35:54,737 --> 00:35:57,111 Let's just take it easy here, shall we? 394 00:35:57,279 --> 00:35:59,987 Apparently, the young ladies have left without any money. 395 00:36:00,154 --> 00:36:01,945 If it's okay with you, I'd like to pay for their tickets. 396 00:36:02,113 --> 00:36:04,903 No, sir, it's not. Leave your money where it is. 397 00:36:05,071 --> 00:36:06,695 We'll let the police deal with these two. 398 00:36:06,863 --> 00:36:08,403 We did have sort of an agreement 399 00:36:08,571 --> 00:36:10,570 that I was to pay. I just forgot about it. 400 00:36:14,237 --> 00:36:17,945 I see. Two first-class tickets... 401 00:36:18,113 --> 00:36:20,570 for two first-class ladies. 402 00:36:22,237 --> 00:36:24,111 Enjoy the rest of your journey. 403 00:36:26,362 --> 00:36:28,027 Tickets, please. 404 00:36:36,529 --> 00:36:39,611 Now that you've been so nice to us... 405 00:36:41,653 --> 00:36:44,069 we'd like to be nice to you, too. 406 00:36:44,237 --> 00:36:46,694 S: Oh, that's very kind of you, but there's no need. 407 00:36:51,612 --> 00:36:52,902 I mean that. 408 00:36:57,195 --> 00:36:59,236 You have to split them up into whether they have 409 00:36:59,403 --> 00:37:01,527 a goal and a mission or not. 410 00:37:02,653 --> 00:37:03,944 That one doesn't. 411 00:37:04,571 --> 00:37:06,570 Joe: Well, I've already lost anyway. 412 00:37:08,571 --> 00:37:12,194 I'm willing to give you five extra points... 413 00:37:14,778 --> 00:37:17,026 if you can get that one in there. 414 00:37:19,444 --> 00:37:22,111 Joe: I decided, perhaps a bit desperately, 415 00:37:22,279 --> 00:37:24,361 that the only thing standing between me 416 00:37:24,528 --> 00:37:26,278 and the bag of chocolate sweets, 417 00:37:26,444 --> 00:37:30,735 was an unequivocal provocation of this man. 418 00:37:30,903 --> 00:37:34,151 Man: Excellent. An induced take. 419 00:37:34,319 --> 00:37:37,361 When all other attempts fail, a dramatic provocation 420 00:37:37,528 --> 00:37:41,069 can get an otherwise completely passive fish to bite. 421 00:37:41,236 --> 00:37:42,944 A salmon or a trout, for example, 422 00:37:43,111 --> 00:37:45,527 eats itself fat while in salt water, 423 00:37:45,695 --> 00:37:47,610 and then basically has no need to eat 424 00:37:47,777 --> 00:37:51,484 as it makes its way upstream to the spawning grounds. 425 00:37:51,652 --> 00:37:53,861 They're not hungry but they will react instinctively 426 00:37:54,028 --> 00:37:55,777 to the right provocation. 427 00:37:56,653 --> 00:37:58,485 Which would not be a fly, but for instance, 428 00:37:58,653 --> 00:38:02,193 a brightly colored wobbler, preferably red, 429 00:38:02,361 --> 00:38:05,110 served immediately in front of the fish. 430 00:38:05,278 --> 00:38:08,609 The very best is one we call the Finnish Weapon. 431 00:38:08,777 --> 00:38:10,652 The so-called "Rappala." 432 00:38:13,570 --> 00:38:15,277 Joe: I don't know if it's comparable, 433 00:38:15,444 --> 00:38:18,318 but I decided in any case to find out 434 00:38:18,485 --> 00:38:20,401 why he hadn't taken the bait, 435 00:38:20,569 --> 00:38:22,943 and to use my psychological abilities, 436 00:38:23,110 --> 00:38:27,026 which B, in my opinion, didn't possess to the same degree. 437 00:38:28,278 --> 00:38:30,402 Joe: You've bought a gift. 438 00:38:32,027 --> 00:38:33,027 Yes. 439 00:38:34,610 --> 00:38:36,150 It's for my wife. 440 00:38:37,652 --> 00:38:41,651 - No gifts for the children? - No. 441 00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:44,943 We don't have any, actually. 442 00:38:45,819 --> 00:38:48,901 Well, you seem rather well-to-do. 443 00:38:50,652 --> 00:38:55,359 You travel first-class, and you bought us our tickets. 444 00:38:55,527 --> 00:38:59,400 Why then not buy a decent gift for your wife? 445 00:38:59,568 --> 00:39:02,317 I can see it comes from the station. 446 00:39:08,734 --> 00:39:10,192 Of course I should have... 447 00:39:10,402 --> 00:39:12,192 bought her something... 448 00:39:12,609 --> 00:39:14,316 something better, but... 449 00:39:15,484 --> 00:39:18,526 Let's just say I was suddenly in a hurry to get home. 450 00:39:19,527 --> 00:39:22,234 Why would a man like you 451 00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:25,525 with such an orderly life suddenly have to hurry? 452 00:39:29,276 --> 00:39:31,191 It has to do with family. 453 00:39:33,818 --> 00:39:36,317 My wife and I have decided that we... 454 00:39:39,277 --> 00:39:41,608 we miss having children, after all. 455 00:39:42,276 --> 00:39:45,066 And that if we are to have children, it has to be now. 456 00:39:47,859 --> 00:39:50,150 So my wife called yesterday to say that she... 457 00:39:51,526 --> 00:39:52,984 She started ovulating. 458 00:39:55,068 --> 00:39:59,191 And all signs point to maximum fertility precisely tonight. 459 00:40:00,276 --> 00:40:01,358 You see? 460 00:40:02,317 --> 00:40:04,858 That's why I bought her a gift at the station. 461 00:40:05,025 --> 00:40:07,733 I had to get a ticket home as quickly as possible. 462 00:40:09,526 --> 00:40:14,191 - Well, I understand now. - What is it you understand? 463 00:40:14,568 --> 00:40:16,983 Why you didn't have sex with us. 464 00:40:20,567 --> 00:40:23,191 It wasn't because I didn't want to. 465 00:40:23,359 --> 00:40:27,191 So you've been saving your sperm. 466 00:40:27,359 --> 00:40:32,066 For weeks. I mean, you and your wife are... 467 00:40:32,234 --> 00:40:35,357 seem to be at an age where every attempt 468 00:40:35,525 --> 00:40:39,775 to become pregnant has to be taken very seriously. 469 00:40:41,733 --> 00:40:43,732 Right now, my... 470 00:40:45,817 --> 00:40:49,858 My sperm quality is at its peak, I'm told. 471 00:41:04,316 --> 00:41:05,898 (whispering) Please... 472 00:41:09,691 --> 00:41:12,191 I'm begging you, please don't. 473 00:41:13,067 --> 00:41:14,067 It's okay. 474 00:41:15,316 --> 00:41:16,566 Please don't. 475 00:41:19,066 --> 00:41:21,440 You've been as horny as hell. 476 00:41:22,483 --> 00:41:24,440 But you wouldn't give up your load. 477 00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:26,439 Please don't. 478 00:41:36,316 --> 00:41:38,232 (gasping) Oh, fuck. 479 00:41:48,608 --> 00:41:50,690 (gasping) 480 00:41:56,274 --> 00:41:58,815 (groaning) 481 00:42:00,774 --> 00:42:03,524 (man grunting, panting) 482 00:42:18,275 --> 00:42:19,357 Wow. 483 00:42:31,898 --> 00:42:35,606 In your case, it wasn't the taste of a Madeleine cake, 484 00:42:35,774 --> 00:42:37,481 moistened with lime blossom tea, 485 00:42:37,649 --> 00:42:40,648 but the combination of chocolate and sperm. 486 00:42:41,691 --> 00:42:42,772 What? 487 00:42:43,357 --> 00:42:48,397 That was a piece of culturally blasphemic digression. 488 00:42:50,356 --> 00:42:52,106 It's a story about memory. 489 00:42:52,274 --> 00:42:54,147 How the combination of two flavors 490 00:42:54,315 --> 00:42:56,398 set off a chain of memories. 491 00:42:58,982 --> 00:43:03,064 So oral sex became, in the eye of the angler, 492 00:43:03,231 --> 00:43:07,856 your... your Finnish weapon. 493 00:43:08,023 --> 00:43:10,022 Joe: Is that your only comment? 494 00:43:11,982 --> 00:43:14,064 What else... What else do you want me to say? 495 00:43:16,023 --> 00:43:18,021 That I behaved reprehensibly. 496 00:43:19,356 --> 00:43:21,397 That already my actions exemplify 497 00:43:21,565 --> 00:43:24,564 that I'm a... I'm a terrible human being. 498 00:43:25,606 --> 00:43:27,939 (stammering) That's not the way I see it. 499 00:43:28,107 --> 00:43:30,522 On the contrary, I saw it as a... 500 00:43:30,690 --> 00:43:33,230 A very pleasurable and humorous story. 501 00:43:34,064 --> 00:43:37,771 Not at all sad, or... or weighed down by sin. 502 00:43:38,398 --> 00:43:39,918 Like all that talk about Pandora's Box. 503 00:43:39,939 --> 00:43:43,814 I've consciously used and hurt others... 504 00:43:43,982 --> 00:43:46,814 for the sake of my own satisfaction. 505 00:43:47,648 --> 00:43:50,272 And what I've told you so far only begins to suggest that. 506 00:43:50,439 --> 00:43:52,896 But when you told the story, you were cheerful. 507 00:43:53,231 --> 00:43:54,479 Full of humor. 508 00:43:55,064 --> 00:43:58,689 It wasn't as if you embarked on some tragic tale. 509 00:43:58,857 --> 00:44:00,938 Well, that's the way I am. 510 00:44:03,064 --> 00:44:06,437 Joe: I've always loved the chills at the start of a fever, 511 00:44:06,605 --> 00:44:09,896 knowing only too well that sickness will soon follow. 512 00:44:16,647 --> 00:44:18,563 Man: The only thing you've done, 513 00:44:18,730 --> 00:44:21,604 except giving a few people an experience to remember, 514 00:44:21,772 --> 00:44:23,105 is that you... 515 00:44:23,272 --> 00:44:25,729 You relieved S from his load 516 00:44:26,397 --> 00:44:28,812 in some... some youthful hubris. 517 00:44:31,106 --> 00:44:33,896 I read somewhere that if you keep the load too long 518 00:44:34,064 --> 00:44:35,396 the sperm will die. 519 00:44:35,564 --> 00:44:37,813 Or worse, degenerate. 520 00:44:39,146 --> 00:44:41,396 Maybe thanks to you, Mr. S and his wife 521 00:44:41,564 --> 00:44:44,020 now have a healthy and well-functioning child. 522 00:44:45,896 --> 00:44:48,479 I discovered my power as a woman 523 00:44:48,647 --> 00:44:51,104 and used it without any concern for others. 524 00:44:52,105 --> 00:44:53,563 That's completely unacceptable. 525 00:44:53,730 --> 00:44:55,812 (sighing) Oh, little darling... 526 00:44:56,021 --> 00:44:57,645 Don't you "little darling" me. 527 00:45:00,646 --> 00:45:01,646 No. 528 00:45:04,397 --> 00:45:06,312 What I wanted to say was that 529 00:45:07,230 --> 00:45:09,062 if you have wings, why not fly? 530 00:45:10,646 --> 00:45:11,854 Allow me to digress. 531 00:45:12,479 --> 00:45:15,104 I read a book about Sikorski and helicopters 532 00:45:15,271 --> 00:45:17,020 where the author stressed the fact that 533 00:45:17,187 --> 00:45:20,479 in order to take off, you tilt the helicopter forward. 534 00:45:20,647 --> 00:45:22,647 It looks like you're trying to force the helicopter 535 00:45:22,729 --> 00:45:26,812 down into the ground, but the effect is the contrary. 536 00:45:26,980 --> 00:45:28,854 That the velocity takes the helicopter 537 00:45:29,021 --> 00:45:32,687 and sweeps it up in the air. 538 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:35,687 The pilots say the helicopter wants to fly. 539 00:45:37,522 --> 00:45:39,520 It's like when you're in a glider plane, 540 00:45:39,688 --> 00:45:42,520 and suddenly you're lifted, 541 00:45:42,688 --> 00:45:46,353 because of the spontaneous emission of thermals. 542 00:45:46,521 --> 00:45:51,644 Thermals is when the sun is warming up the field, 543 00:45:51,812 --> 00:45:55,937 and it emits a thermal bubble of warm air that rises. 544 00:45:56,813 --> 00:45:59,061 These aircraft, they want to fly. 545 00:45:59,229 --> 00:46:01,478 It's just a little unpredictable when. 546 00:46:03,687 --> 00:46:06,270 You flew on that... on that train. 547 00:46:07,645 --> 00:46:09,895 And that surprised you. 548 00:46:44,854 --> 00:46:46,477 No more stories. 549 00:46:48,812 --> 00:46:50,352 You need to sleep. 550 00:46:51,020 --> 00:46:52,394 No, no. 551 00:46:53,061 --> 00:46:55,227 This is beginning to amuse me. 552 00:47:01,937 --> 00:47:03,811 I don't even know your name. 553 00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:06,811 My name is Joe. 554 00:47:08,228 --> 00:47:09,768 I'm Seligman. 555 00:47:11,436 --> 00:47:13,476 What a fucking ridiculous name. 556 00:47:13,644 --> 00:47:15,186 (snorting) 557 00:47:15,937 --> 00:47:17,394 It's Jewish. 558 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,018 You said you weren't religious. 559 00:47:20,186 --> 00:47:22,477 No, but my great-grandfather was. 560 00:47:22,645 --> 00:47:25,726 And my parents gave me the name as a sort of... 561 00:47:26,769 --> 00:47:29,185 sentimental association to Judaism. 562 00:47:33,103 --> 00:47:37,977 Why let the sentimental part of religion, as you said, 563 00:47:38,144 --> 00:47:41,185 outlive religion itself? 564 00:47:44,561 --> 00:47:45,977 You have a point. 565 00:47:48,853 --> 00:47:51,893 But we've always been anti-Zionists, 566 00:47:53,519 --> 00:47:55,768 which is not the same as being anti-Semitic, 567 00:47:57,061 --> 00:47:59,685 as certain political powers try to convince us. 568 00:48:00,686 --> 00:48:02,101 Seligman... 569 00:48:03,143 --> 00:48:05,685 means "the happy one." 570 00:48:08,978 --> 00:48:10,643 So, are you happy then? 571 00:48:13,602 --> 00:48:15,351 Well, I suppose I am. 572 00:48:17,310 --> 00:48:18,934 In my own way. 573 00:48:19,601 --> 00:48:20,851 Even if I'm the kind of person 574 00:48:21,018 --> 00:48:23,143 who cut the nails of the right hand first. 575 00:48:23,352 --> 00:48:24,768 What does that mean? 576 00:48:25,686 --> 00:48:27,810 Well, I divide humanity into two groups: 577 00:48:27,977 --> 00:48:30,767 the people who cut the nails on the left hand first, 578 00:48:30,935 --> 00:48:33,892 and the people who cut the nails of the right hand first. 579 00:48:34,852 --> 00:48:36,684 My theory is that the people who cut the nails 580 00:48:36,852 --> 00:48:40,017 of the left hand first, they're more light-hearted. 581 00:48:40,185 --> 00:48:42,601 They have a tendency to enjoy life more, 582 00:48:43,102 --> 00:48:46,101 because they go straight for the easiest task, and... 583 00:48:46,810 --> 00:48:49,600 save the difficulties for later. 584 00:48:55,394 --> 00:48:59,518 - So what do you do? - Always the left hand first. 585 00:48:59,685 --> 00:49:01,517 I don't think there's a choice. 586 00:49:02,269 --> 00:49:05,475 Go for the pleasure first, always. 587 00:49:05,643 --> 00:49:08,725 And then when you've done the left hand, 588 00:49:08,892 --> 00:49:10,600 only the right hand remains. 589 00:49:11,310 --> 00:49:13,892 That's the easiest one left. 590 00:49:21,101 --> 00:49:23,308 I never thought of it like that. 591 00:49:26,142 --> 00:49:28,059 Well, you're never too old. 592 00:49:28,893 --> 00:49:30,184 Never too old to learn. 593 00:49:38,642 --> 00:49:40,808 Joe: That's rugelach. 594 00:49:40,976 --> 00:49:43,307 Seligman: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's a Jewish cake. 595 00:49:43,475 --> 00:49:46,892 - There's that sentimentality again. - Oh, but it's more than rugelach. 596 00:49:47,059 --> 00:49:49,725 It's rugelach served with a cake fork. 597 00:49:51,268 --> 00:49:54,267 A rugelach, in my opinion, is pastry, 598 00:49:54,433 --> 00:49:57,432 which there is no excuse for eating with a cake fork. 599 00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:01,392 To serve it with a cake fork is irritatingly unmanly, 600 00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,392 not to say downright feminine. 601 00:50:06,559 --> 00:50:10,307 However, it can bring us further with the story. 602 00:50:11,767 --> 00:50:16,641 I also knew someone who consumed rugelach every day, 603 00:50:16,808 --> 00:50:19,558 almost ritually, with a cake fork. 604 00:50:20,351 --> 00:50:23,058 And although we'll be jumping a bit in time, 605 00:50:24,934 --> 00:50:27,099 I have to tell you about Jerome. 606 00:50:27,809 --> 00:50:29,432 As far as I can see, the next chapter 607 00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,099 doesn't contain as direct an accusation 608 00:50:32,267 --> 00:50:35,724 against my person as the rest of the story. 609 00:50:35,892 --> 00:50:38,683 But as you've read a great deal, apparently, 610 00:50:38,851 --> 00:50:41,307 you know that in a story things have to be good 611 00:50:41,475 --> 00:50:43,266 before they can be bad. 612 00:50:47,433 --> 00:50:51,224 The chapter will also make a sentimental soul like you happy 613 00:50:51,392 --> 00:50:55,974 as it contains observations on the subject of love. 614 00:50:59,517 --> 00:51:03,266 (Joe moaning) 615 00:51:34,974 --> 00:51:36,889 (woman moaning) 616 00:51:57,183 --> 00:51:58,849 (moaning) 617 00:51:59,058 --> 00:52:01,390 (crying out) 618 00:52:01,683 --> 00:52:04,390 (both panting) 619 00:52:14,099 --> 00:52:16,014 Can I tell you something? 620 00:52:18,099 --> 00:52:20,181 Sure. 621 00:52:20,974 --> 00:52:23,139 - Yeah. - Yeah, sure. 622 00:52:23,307 --> 00:52:25,014 It might not be important to you... 623 00:52:25,181 --> 00:52:27,848 But it is to me. 624 00:52:29,474 --> 00:52:31,557 I've never had an orgasm before. 625 00:52:35,140 --> 00:52:36,889 Really? 626 00:52:41,348 --> 00:52:42,888 You're my first one. 627 00:52:45,682 --> 00:52:47,431 You don't know how happy that makes me. 628 00:52:48,932 --> 00:52:51,806 (giggling) 629 00:52:52,015 --> 00:52:53,222 I love you. 630 00:52:53,640 --> 00:52:55,806 (laughs) 631 00:52:58,515 --> 00:53:00,389 (whispering) You're my first. 632 00:53:04,807 --> 00:53:06,347 Well, I have to admit, 633 00:53:07,056 --> 00:53:08,806 quite a lot of girls say that. 634 00:53:11,806 --> 00:53:14,721 Joe: The train trip had increased my appetite, 635 00:53:14,889 --> 00:53:17,264 and soon B and I started a club 636 00:53:17,430 --> 00:53:20,138 that we called "The Little Flock." 637 00:53:21,598 --> 00:53:24,930 Mea vulva, mea maxima vulva. 638 00:53:25,098 --> 00:53:26,378 Joe: B, of course, took the lead 639 00:53:26,473 --> 00:53:28,264 as she was the most daring of us. 640 00:53:29,223 --> 00:53:31,847 She was raised Catholic. I'm sure you're familiar 641 00:53:32,014 --> 00:53:34,763 with the practices of the Catholic Church. 642 00:53:34,931 --> 00:53:39,055 All:...mea maxima vulva. Mea vulva, mea... 643 00:53:39,223 --> 00:53:40,680 Seligman: That's interesting. 644 00:53:40,848 --> 00:53:43,930 Blasphemic, satanic. 645 00:53:45,430 --> 00:53:49,179 The music. The interval between "B" and "F." 646 00:53:49,347 --> 00:53:52,097 It's a tritone. The devil's interval. 647 00:53:53,265 --> 00:53:55,638 It was banned from music in the Middle Ages. 648 00:53:57,098 --> 00:53:59,638 Well, the Vacuum Cleaner invented it. 649 00:53:59,806 --> 00:54:01,680 She took piano lessons. 650 00:54:02,514 --> 00:54:03,596 Vacuum Cleaner? 651 00:54:03,972 --> 00:54:07,804 The Vacuum Cleaner possessed a special talent for floppy cocks. 652 00:54:09,139 --> 00:54:11,930 She had some kind of vacuum in her cunt. 653 00:54:12,472 --> 00:54:14,638 I was imagining something like that. 654 00:54:14,806 --> 00:54:17,555 Fourteenth of the eighth. 655 00:54:17,722 --> 00:54:20,263 I was at a place called The Donkey. 656 00:54:20,430 --> 00:54:23,470 The boys were staring, University hangout. 657 00:54:23,638 --> 00:54:25,555 I approached the stupidest one of the lot 658 00:54:25,722 --> 00:54:28,137 and asked for directions to the underground. 659 00:54:28,305 --> 00:54:30,096 He studied literature. 660 00:54:30,639 --> 00:54:34,137 I told him I read a lot, and that I really admired people 661 00:54:34,305 --> 00:54:36,554 that chose to study subjects in depth. 662 00:54:37,638 --> 00:54:39,762 As I said, he was very stupid. 663 00:54:39,930 --> 00:54:41,555 Told me all about Kierkegaard. 664 00:54:41,722 --> 00:54:43,388 I nodded, smiled. 665 00:54:43,556 --> 00:54:45,076 Then he asked if we could go elsewhere. 666 00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:48,762 The idiot thought he'd pulled me after five minutes of his bullshit. 667 00:54:49,347 --> 00:54:51,387 I told him I was on my period, 668 00:54:52,763 --> 00:54:55,428 and I took out his cock and gave him a hand job. 669 00:54:57,597 --> 00:55:00,513 Ugly, little shriveled cock, with a tight foreskin. 670 00:55:02,097 --> 00:55:03,887 When I pulled it back, it sort of collapsed 671 00:55:04,055 --> 00:55:08,012 but it worked in the end. University boys are disgusting. 672 00:55:08,179 --> 00:55:10,345 And then I jacked him off until he shook 673 00:55:10,513 --> 00:55:13,554 in that way they do, you know. Just before they come. 674 00:55:14,347 --> 00:55:16,346 Then I let go of his cock and got up. 675 00:55:16,513 --> 00:55:20,096 I left him standing up against the wall 676 00:55:20,263 --> 00:55:23,679 with his pants round his ankles looking stunned. 677 00:55:25,638 --> 00:55:29,387 Now, B's message wasn't exactly representational. 678 00:55:29,554 --> 00:55:31,846 She just had to be the tough one. 679 00:55:33,763 --> 00:55:35,428 It was directed at the men. 680 00:55:36,638 --> 00:55:40,387 It was about fucking, and about having the right to be horny. 681 00:55:41,720 --> 00:55:44,803 We masturbated together, that kind of thing. 682 00:55:46,387 --> 00:55:47,929 But it was rebellious. 683 00:55:50,471 --> 00:55:51,951 We weren't allowed to have boyfriends. 684 00:55:52,012 --> 00:55:54,470 No fucking the same guy more than once. 685 00:55:55,054 --> 00:55:59,761 You said you were rebellious. What did you rebel against? 686 00:56:00,262 --> 00:56:01,262 Love. 687 00:56:03,136 --> 00:56:04,137 Love? 688 00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:08,428 We were committed to combat the love-fixated society. 689 00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:15,052 (romantic music playing) 690 00:56:27,846 --> 00:56:30,386 Joe: I really believed in our Little Flock. 691 00:56:30,554 --> 00:56:33,052 But of course, that was naive of me. 692 00:56:33,678 --> 00:56:36,468 Over time, even the strongest 693 00:56:36,636 --> 00:56:39,011 couldn't stay true to our manifest. 694 00:56:39,179 --> 00:56:43,094 B: Third of the fifth. My third intercourse this week, 695 00:56:43,262 --> 00:56:45,052 - again with Alex. - Third? 696 00:56:47,761 --> 00:56:50,510 Haven't we stated that we fuck each guy once? 697 00:56:50,970 --> 00:56:53,553 B: Yes, but he was rather sweet. 698 00:56:54,512 --> 00:56:55,553 Joe: Sweet? 699 00:56:56,387 --> 00:56:59,594 - Well, you know, sexy. - Well, then, say sexy. 700 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:03,094 He squeezed my earlobes. 701 00:57:03,262 --> 00:57:06,468 Earlobes? Great. What else did he squeeze? 702 00:57:09,594 --> 00:57:12,927 I don't think you can understand Alex. 703 00:57:13,554 --> 00:57:14,927 (laughs) I don't want to. 704 00:57:15,095 --> 00:57:17,426 - Our relationship... - Relationship. 705 00:57:17,594 --> 00:57:18,760 There you are. 706 00:57:19,928 --> 00:57:23,468 The way you're describing it, which should be full of lust, 707 00:57:23,636 --> 00:57:26,553 is just a nauseating analysis of his future abilities 708 00:57:26,719 --> 00:57:28,635 as a father to your child. 709 00:57:28,803 --> 00:57:32,635 You think you know everything about sex. 710 00:57:36,553 --> 00:57:40,510 (whispering) The secret ingredient to sex is love. 711 00:57:46,511 --> 00:57:51,134 For me, love was just lust with jealousy added. 712 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:54,134 Everything else was total nonsense. 713 00:57:54,844 --> 00:57:58,634 For every 100 crimes committed in the name of love, 714 00:57:59,094 --> 00:58:01,718 only one is committed in the name of sex. 715 00:58:03,344 --> 00:58:04,552 That's quite a statement. 716 00:58:04,885 --> 00:58:09,051 Well, it all strengthened my wish for a serious education. 717 00:58:34,135 --> 00:58:36,093 Glasgow. 718 00:58:39,718 --> 00:58:40,801 Aberdeen. 719 00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:44,259 Joe: Why are you smiling? 720 00:58:45,009 --> 00:58:47,175 (chuckling) Well, I just pictured 721 00:58:47,343 --> 00:58:50,343 how an education would be conveyed in your storytelling. 722 00:58:51,552 --> 00:58:53,425 Well, that's nothing to smile about. 723 00:58:54,468 --> 00:58:55,926 Oh, I understand that. 724 00:58:57,552 --> 00:58:59,676 So what kind of education did you get? 725 00:59:00,552 --> 00:59:03,758 I began studying medicine, like my father. 726 00:59:03,926 --> 00:59:07,884 Today we are going to perform the procedure that's called an abortion. 727 00:59:08,052 --> 00:59:12,217 We open up our cervical channel to enter the uterus, 728 00:59:12,385 --> 00:59:14,551 and to get access to the fetus, 729 00:59:14,717 --> 00:59:17,842 for which we use the so-called Hegal sticks. 730 00:59:18,009 --> 00:59:22,133 We enter the vagina tract, and go into the cervical channel. 731 00:59:23,176 --> 00:59:24,967 We start with a small sized stick 732 00:59:25,134 --> 00:59:28,050 to cause a minimum of damage to the tissue. 733 00:59:28,426 --> 00:59:31,508 And then we increase the size of the stick. 734 00:59:31,884 --> 00:59:34,842 Joe: But it was harder and harder for me to concentrate, 735 00:59:35,009 --> 00:59:39,259 so I studied less and less, till finally I dropped out. 736 00:59:41,468 --> 00:59:45,341 My dad was very disappointed when I stopped. 737 00:59:46,259 --> 00:59:48,716 But it was the only time I saw my mother really smile 738 00:59:48,884 --> 00:59:51,882 when she said, "What did I tell you?" 739 00:59:55,134 --> 00:59:57,675 So instead, I began to look for a job. 740 00:59:59,342 --> 01:00:01,967 It turned out it was hard to get a job 741 01:00:02,133 --> 01:00:04,758 that paid even halfway decently. 742 01:00:05,842 --> 01:00:08,715 I didn't really know how to do anything. 743 01:00:09,175 --> 01:00:12,175 So I didn't have high hopes when I applied for a position 744 01:00:12,342 --> 01:00:15,008 as an assistant at a printing house. 745 01:00:16,133 --> 01:00:18,424 Woman: So, could you tell me a little bit more 746 01:00:18,592 --> 01:00:21,591 about your background? 747 01:00:21,758 --> 01:00:23,383 Um... 748 01:00:23,591 --> 01:00:26,882 - Woman: Education-wise. - Oh. 749 01:00:27,050 --> 01:00:32,383 Well, I finished high school, and decided to study medicine. 750 01:00:33,217 --> 01:00:35,216 But I didn't finish. 751 01:00:35,384 --> 01:00:37,882 I know it sounds a bit pointless coming here. 752 01:00:38,050 --> 01:00:40,465 - Right. - I just really need a job. 753 01:00:40,633 --> 01:00:42,507 And I've tried everywhere. 754 01:00:42,675 --> 01:00:46,299 I don't usually give jobs to people just because they need one. 755 01:00:47,716 --> 01:00:52,174 What about secretarial skills? Do you have any of those? 756 01:00:52,341 --> 01:00:54,924 No, I didn't think you needed skills. 757 01:00:56,716 --> 01:00:59,382 You didn't think you needed skills for this position 758 01:00:59,550 --> 01:01:01,924 - as a secretary? - No. 759 01:01:02,425 --> 01:01:04,258 Can you open an envelope? 760 01:01:04,883 --> 01:01:07,924 Yes, I... Yes, I think I can open an envelope. 761 01:01:08,092 --> 01:01:10,090 Well, I'm glad to hear that. 762 01:01:11,341 --> 01:01:15,881 I shall discuss this conversation with Mr. Jerome, my boss. 763 01:01:18,550 --> 01:01:21,632 Joe: Do you think there's a chance? 764 01:01:22,633 --> 01:01:25,590 - I doubt it. - Oh. 765 01:01:26,550 --> 01:01:28,423 (knocking) 766 01:01:30,924 --> 01:01:32,631 (door closing) 767 01:01:45,341 --> 01:01:49,798 Well, apparently, having absolutely no experience 768 01:01:50,591 --> 01:01:52,382 is absolutely fine for this job. 769 01:01:52,758 --> 01:01:53,923 You've got it. 770 01:01:56,757 --> 01:01:58,840 Does that mean I should start tomorrow? 771 01:01:59,715 --> 01:02:01,297 Yeah, I suppose it does. 772 01:02:03,590 --> 01:02:05,548 - Joe: Good morning. - Woman: Right. 773 01:02:11,132 --> 01:02:12,673 (clearing throat) 774 01:02:12,841 --> 01:02:15,090 - (knocking) - Yes? 775 01:02:18,382 --> 01:02:20,172 - Good morning, sir. - Good morning. 776 01:02:20,340 --> 01:02:22,797 I just wanted to introduce you to our new junior secretary. 777 01:02:22,965 --> 01:02:25,673 Joe? I believe you wanted to explain her work duties. 778 01:02:25,841 --> 01:02:27,441 - Hi. - This is the new junior secretary. 779 01:02:27,507 --> 01:02:28,965 Liz, can I have another coffee? 780 01:02:29,131 --> 01:02:30,491 - Yes, of course, sir. - Thank you. 781 01:02:33,798 --> 01:02:34,798 Hi. 782 01:02:38,756 --> 01:02:41,756 - Jerome. - Your first love. 783 01:02:47,756 --> 01:02:50,076 I bet you didn't think I'd make something of myself, right? 784 01:02:50,423 --> 01:02:51,880 And now, here I sit. 785 01:02:52,048 --> 01:02:54,255 The director's chair of M & J Morris, Ltd. 786 01:02:58,590 --> 01:03:00,673 - Yeah, it's quite surprising. - Surprising? 787 01:03:01,465 --> 01:03:03,005 It's a sign from God. 788 01:03:07,923 --> 01:03:09,883 You know, I've thought about you often since then. 789 01:03:11,548 --> 01:03:13,214 Have you thought of me? 790 01:03:16,131 --> 01:03:18,381 - Well... - What? 791 01:03:19,298 --> 01:03:21,755 Usually, you know, my uncle sits here. 792 01:03:21,923 --> 01:03:23,380 But he's developed a bit of a tummy problem, 793 01:03:23,548 --> 01:03:25,088 so he's at the spa, taking long baths, 794 01:03:25,256 --> 01:03:28,505 drinking lots of water, poor guy. And no one knows for how long. 795 01:03:28,672 --> 01:03:31,964 So now I'm the "J" in M & J Morris, Ltd. 796 01:03:32,131 --> 01:03:33,463 How about that? 797 01:03:33,923 --> 01:03:36,755 We print cards and envelopes, nonsense like that. 798 01:03:37,589 --> 01:03:39,349 It's a bloody complicated business, you know. 799 01:03:39,464 --> 01:03:40,879 I don't understand a word of it. 800 01:03:42,130 --> 01:03:44,754 Come, I'll show you around. Yes? 801 01:03:44,922 --> 01:03:46,421 - Ladies? - Woman: Yes, sir. 802 01:03:46,589 --> 01:03:48,630 Oh, look, there you are. Good job. 803 01:03:48,798 --> 01:03:51,004 Every time you do a good job, I say, "Good job, Liz." 804 01:03:51,172 --> 01:03:52,839 - Thank you, sir. - What's her name? 805 01:03:53,005 --> 01:03:54,672 - Liz. - Good job, Liz. 806 01:03:54,839 --> 01:03:56,879 - Good job, Liz. - Good job, Liz. 807 01:03:57,672 --> 01:04:01,546 (indistinct conversation) 808 01:04:15,713 --> 01:04:16,963 It stopped. 809 01:04:17,421 --> 01:04:18,838 (muttering) Fuck. 810 01:04:22,381 --> 01:04:23,421 Yes. 811 01:04:25,381 --> 01:04:27,838 - Well, isn't there an alarm? - Which? 812 01:04:28,505 --> 01:04:30,754 - Isn't there... - Alarm, right, yes. 813 01:04:30,922 --> 01:04:33,671 - Good thinking. - (alarm ringing) 814 01:04:37,130 --> 01:04:38,213 Imagine... 815 01:04:39,130 --> 01:04:41,546 you look just as great all these years later. 816 01:04:42,089 --> 01:04:43,212 Oh, no. 817 01:04:47,421 --> 01:04:49,878 - (chuckling) No. - No? 818 01:04:52,046 --> 01:04:53,504 No, Jerome, this won't work. 819 01:04:53,672 --> 01:04:56,254 - Which won't work? - This. 820 01:04:58,963 --> 01:05:00,003 Why not? 821 01:05:01,171 --> 01:05:02,546 You're not really my type. 822 01:05:05,213 --> 01:05:06,378 That's how it's gonna be? 823 01:05:07,171 --> 01:05:09,129 - Yes. - All right. 824 01:05:09,922 --> 01:05:11,087 (thunking) 825 01:05:15,754 --> 01:05:17,003 Fuck's sake. 826 01:05:26,838 --> 01:05:27,838 Okay. 827 01:05:37,754 --> 01:05:39,211 Joe: Um... 828 01:05:39,420 --> 01:05:40,670 Give me your hand. 829 01:05:41,754 --> 01:05:43,795 We'll do fireman's grip. 830 01:05:44,629 --> 01:05:45,629 (grunting) 831 01:05:45,838 --> 01:05:47,336 - You okay? - Yeah. 832 01:05:50,671 --> 01:05:52,127 Why didn't you have sex with him? 833 01:05:54,295 --> 01:05:56,586 You must have had sex in a lift before. 834 01:05:58,796 --> 01:06:02,586 I'm not quite sure. I've shagged lots of idiots. 835 01:06:02,754 --> 01:06:05,378 Including worse idiots than him. 836 01:06:07,546 --> 01:06:08,961 Of course, I... 837 01:06:09,128 --> 01:06:12,127 I regretted that it had been him back then. 838 01:06:13,170 --> 01:06:15,628 But that's just sentimental drivel. 839 01:06:15,796 --> 01:06:17,086 And I'm not sentimental. 840 01:06:18,379 --> 01:06:20,169 I suppose he fired you then. 841 01:06:20,337 --> 01:06:23,752 No. If he had fired me, then he would have lost. 842 01:06:27,087 --> 01:06:28,669 Joe: As I didn't recall anyone 843 01:06:28,837 --> 01:06:30,544 having defined my work duties, 844 01:06:30,711 --> 01:06:34,461 I decided to clean up in order to smooth the waters. 845 01:06:42,336 --> 01:06:43,544 Liz: Good morning, sir. 846 01:06:43,711 --> 01:06:45,710 - Any calls? - No, sir. 847 01:06:52,128 --> 01:06:56,002 - What have you done? - Oh. I cleaned up. 848 01:06:56,545 --> 01:06:58,252 You cleaned up. 849 01:06:59,336 --> 01:07:00,752 - It was quite messy, and... - Liz? 850 01:07:00,919 --> 01:07:03,751 - Yes, sir? - She cleaned up. 851 01:07:04,379 --> 01:07:06,502 I know, I... I didn't know, sir. 852 01:07:06,670 --> 01:07:08,794 - I was away from my desk. - Are you completely mad? 853 01:07:11,127 --> 01:07:13,252 (door slamming) 854 01:07:15,670 --> 01:07:17,709 What is the tea and pastry doing here? 855 01:07:18,378 --> 01:07:19,501 I thought that's what you wanted for... 856 01:07:19,669 --> 01:07:22,794 You thought? (groans) You're not supposed to think. 857 01:07:22,962 --> 01:07:25,210 I don't pay you to think, do I? This is a do-over. 858 01:07:25,378 --> 01:07:26,752 - A do-over... - Right. 859 01:07:26,919 --> 01:07:29,668 Pick it up. Take it outside. And do it again. 860 01:07:42,044 --> 01:07:44,293 - (knocking) - One moment. 861 01:07:52,669 --> 01:07:53,960 Come in. 862 01:07:57,169 --> 01:07:59,293 Would now be a good time for some tea and cake? 863 01:07:59,460 --> 01:08:00,751 Sure, why not? 864 01:08:03,669 --> 01:08:05,001 Where the fuck's my cake fork? 865 01:08:05,418 --> 01:08:07,000 - Cake fork? - Right. 866 01:08:07,335 --> 01:08:11,876 Well, I would have got you one, but it just... feels inappropriate. 867 01:08:29,460 --> 01:08:31,251 Unmanly. 868 01:08:31,418 --> 01:08:32,709 Feminine. 869 01:08:32,877 --> 01:08:34,668 Well, on the other hand, 870 01:08:34,835 --> 01:08:38,917 you must say that a cake fork is a rather practical tool. 871 01:08:40,835 --> 01:08:44,125 It's like a cross between a knife and a fork. 872 01:08:44,752 --> 01:08:46,751 The point is that you're supposed to be able 873 01:08:46,918 --> 01:08:48,750 to hold the cake dish with one hand 874 01:08:48,918 --> 01:08:50,584 and then cut it with the other. 875 01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:54,416 And then eat it with the fork. 876 01:08:54,793 --> 01:08:57,667 It's not feminine, it's at least bourgeois. 877 01:08:58,584 --> 01:09:00,875 It's said that the Bolsheviks, 878 01:09:01,043 --> 01:09:03,042 during their rampage through Russia, 879 01:09:03,210 --> 01:09:04,750 to separate the men from the boys, 880 01:09:04,918 --> 01:09:07,667 or rather the bourgeoisie from the proletariat, 881 01:09:07,835 --> 01:09:10,834 they brought a boy, and before burning down a house 882 01:09:11,001 --> 01:09:14,542 they sent him in to make sure they had cake forks. 883 01:09:19,293 --> 01:09:22,209 - That's not true. - (chuckling) 884 01:09:24,543 --> 01:09:26,583 I don't have the story first-hand. 885 01:09:26,751 --> 01:09:28,041 Joe: Hello. 886 01:09:28,959 --> 01:09:30,666 - Man: Hi. - Joe: Hi. 887 01:09:30,834 --> 01:09:33,167 I was wondering if you could help me. 888 01:09:33,335 --> 01:09:36,792 It's suddenly gone very dirty. See, yes? 889 01:09:36,960 --> 01:09:40,333 See, you've got your dirty fingers on there. 890 01:09:40,501 --> 01:09:42,416 Maybe we should wash your hands. 891 01:09:42,584 --> 01:09:44,041 Yeah, better. 892 01:09:46,542 --> 01:09:48,041 Mm-hmm. 893 01:09:48,251 --> 01:09:50,834 - You must be very talented. - Yeah, sure. 894 01:09:51,001 --> 01:09:52,001 Hmm. 895 01:09:52,501 --> 01:09:55,375 You see, here's got a stain. 896 01:10:07,459 --> 01:10:09,083 Joe: If you'd asked Jerome, he would have said 897 01:10:09,251 --> 01:10:11,375 that I was the one who'd declared war. 898 01:10:13,917 --> 01:10:18,123 Many times he'd take me into town just so I could hold his coat. 899 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:20,998 - Joe: There. - Jerome: Where? 900 01:10:21,166 --> 01:10:23,124 Joe: There, behind the green car. 901 01:10:25,667 --> 01:10:28,041 - It's not big enough. - It is, there's plenty of space. 902 01:10:29,834 --> 01:10:31,207 (Jerome sighing) 903 01:10:31,375 --> 01:10:33,290 I saw it, it's not enough space. 904 01:10:33,458 --> 01:10:35,707 I'm telling you, there's plenty of space. 905 01:10:44,084 --> 01:10:45,290 (scoffing) 906 01:10:45,500 --> 01:10:48,249 (muttering) 907 01:10:48,458 --> 01:10:51,832 No. It's too small a space for such a long car. 908 01:10:54,707 --> 01:10:56,290 Can I try? 909 01:10:57,917 --> 01:11:01,165 - Can you try? - I'm a wizard at this. 910 01:11:01,333 --> 01:11:02,707 I just tried, it's not enough space, Joe. 911 01:11:02,874 --> 01:11:05,581 You just saw me do it. It's not enough space, okay? 912 01:11:06,458 --> 01:11:09,373 - Can I try? - Fuck. You want to try? 913 01:11:11,958 --> 01:11:13,082 Why not? 914 01:11:27,998 --> 01:11:29,374 Stupid. 915 01:12:08,332 --> 01:12:11,456 Joe: It was about this time that a dramatic change 916 01:12:11,623 --> 01:12:13,539 happened inside of me. 917 01:12:14,957 --> 01:12:19,498 I could suddenly see a kind of order in the mess. 918 01:12:30,915 --> 01:12:33,121 Are you just standing here looking? 919 01:12:35,915 --> 01:12:38,622 Yeah. I've begun to like his mess. 920 01:12:39,415 --> 01:12:41,039 How do you mean? 921 01:12:42,456 --> 01:12:45,413 Well, these are all things placed by Jerome. 922 01:12:46,081 --> 01:12:47,955 I mean, by Jerome's hands. 923 01:12:48,831 --> 01:12:52,414 Sounds to me like you would like to be handled by Mr. Jerome. 924 01:12:54,290 --> 01:12:56,539 Darling, you're in love with him. 925 01:12:58,498 --> 01:13:01,330 (scoffs) 926 01:13:01,498 --> 01:13:03,871 It was all very, very wrong. 927 01:13:05,289 --> 01:13:07,872 I wanted to be one of Jerome's things. 928 01:13:08,706 --> 01:13:13,330 I wanted to be picked up and put down, again and again. 929 01:13:14,706 --> 01:13:17,121 I wanted to be treated by his hands 930 01:13:17,289 --> 01:13:20,247 according to some sophisticated principle 931 01:13:20,414 --> 01:13:22,496 that I didn't understand. 932 01:13:23,081 --> 01:13:24,705 His strong hands? 933 01:13:24,873 --> 01:13:28,664 Yes, but now it was no longer just about his hands. 934 01:13:28,832 --> 01:13:32,080 It's as if everything about him was different, 935 01:13:32,914 --> 01:13:35,955 which, of course, it wasn't and I knew that in my head. 936 01:13:36,122 --> 01:13:39,830 And I scolded myself for seeing him in this new light. 937 01:13:40,790 --> 01:13:44,830 - Love is blind. - No, no, no, it's worse. 938 01:13:45,872 --> 01:13:47,663 Love distorts things. 939 01:13:48,622 --> 01:13:51,371 Or even worse... love is something 940 01:13:51,539 --> 01:13:53,204 you've never asked for. 941 01:13:54,664 --> 01:13:58,830 The erotic was something I asked for, or even demanded of men. 942 01:13:58,997 --> 01:14:01,746 But this idiotic love... 943 01:14:03,580 --> 01:14:05,621 I felt humiliated by it, 944 01:14:06,288 --> 01:14:08,995 and all the dishonesty that follows. 945 01:14:11,539 --> 01:14:13,830 The erotic is about saying yes. 946 01:14:15,580 --> 01:14:18,579 Love appeals to the lowest instincts, 947 01:14:18,747 --> 01:14:20,663 wrapped up in lies. 948 01:14:21,413 --> 01:14:25,246 How do you say "yes" when you mean "no," and vice versa. 949 01:14:29,038 --> 01:14:31,371 I'm ashamed of what I became. 950 01:14:32,664 --> 01:14:34,371 But it was beyond my control. 951 01:14:36,497 --> 01:14:40,745 - You know what you're doing now? - No, what am I doing? 952 01:14:41,288 --> 01:14:43,537 You're defending your personality. 953 01:14:44,329 --> 01:14:46,663 I thought the point was to reveal it. 954 01:14:58,788 --> 01:15:02,953 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 955 01:15:05,205 --> 01:15:06,829 Thank you meaning, "That's all." 956 01:15:10,579 --> 01:15:14,078 You can go now. Goodbye, Joe. 957 01:15:28,204 --> 01:15:31,620 Joe: At this time, I took up walking again. 958 01:15:31,787 --> 01:15:33,203 Seligman: You walked in the forest? 959 01:15:33,371 --> 01:15:35,828 Joe: Yes, I walked in the forest. 960 01:15:41,204 --> 01:15:43,786 The forest of my childhood. 961 01:15:44,995 --> 01:15:48,036 I took the same walk again and again. 962 01:15:48,620 --> 01:15:51,494 Right turn after the gatehouse, 963 01:15:51,662 --> 01:15:54,370 and right again by the ash tree, 964 01:15:54,538 --> 01:15:57,245 which has the most beautiful leaves in the forest, 965 01:15:58,912 --> 01:16:02,452 and further on, past a lady with her poodle, 966 01:16:02,620 --> 01:16:05,369 and the old man on the bench. 967 01:16:12,703 --> 01:16:15,786 I couldn't free myself of the image of Jerome 968 01:16:15,954 --> 01:16:17,911 and his careless elegance. 969 01:16:23,328 --> 01:16:27,828 And during this time, when I was with other men, 970 01:16:28,620 --> 01:16:31,994 I forbade them to touch my body with their hands. 971 01:16:32,203 --> 01:16:35,452 (moaning) 972 01:16:35,620 --> 01:16:39,285 And soon, I stopped having sex altogether. 973 01:16:41,370 --> 01:16:43,702 I tried to meet him all the time. 974 01:16:44,246 --> 01:16:46,452 I found out where he lived, 975 01:16:47,119 --> 01:16:49,828 but of course, never dared ring his doorbell. 976 01:16:53,453 --> 01:16:56,618 I even started humiliating myself on purpose 977 01:16:56,786 --> 01:16:58,911 in order for him to notice me. 978 01:17:19,161 --> 01:17:21,035 You broke a taillight. 979 01:17:22,619 --> 01:17:23,701 I did. 980 01:17:25,078 --> 01:17:27,284 I thought you were such a wizard at parking. 981 01:17:28,369 --> 01:17:29,535 So did I. 982 01:17:30,536 --> 01:17:32,494 It'll be deducted from your salary. 983 01:17:35,953 --> 01:17:37,451 - It's a long car. - (thudding) 984 01:17:41,118 --> 01:17:43,826 Joe: I worked for a long time on a letter 985 01:17:43,993 --> 01:17:46,784 in which I told him about my feelings for him, 986 01:17:46,952 --> 01:17:49,743 but couldn't bring myself to hand it over. 987 01:17:52,494 --> 01:17:54,243 - Bye. - Bye. Bye. 988 01:17:54,911 --> 01:17:56,326 Joe: A month would pass 989 01:17:56,494 --> 01:18:00,368 before I had built up enough courage to deliver it. 990 01:18:16,327 --> 01:18:18,659 (footsteps) 991 01:18:25,452 --> 01:18:27,700 Well, I've written him a letter after all. 992 01:18:29,618 --> 01:18:32,909 Do you think that the letter is a bad idea? 993 01:18:35,660 --> 01:18:37,992 No, I think it's the right thing to do. 994 01:18:38,452 --> 01:18:43,659 I'm just... I think maybe you should wait until Friday. 995 01:18:43,827 --> 01:18:44,909 Why? 996 01:18:45,868 --> 01:18:47,951 He's always in a good mood on Fridays. 997 01:18:49,326 --> 01:18:50,492 Okay. 998 01:19:10,076 --> 01:19:14,034 I'm sorry, isn't this... Jerome's office? 999 01:19:14,201 --> 01:19:17,866 I'm happy to say that this never has been 1000 01:19:18,034 --> 01:19:20,325 and never will be Jerome's office. 1001 01:19:20,826 --> 01:19:24,908 My nephew has been standing in for me while I've been unwell. 1002 01:19:25,408 --> 01:19:28,367 What's that? A letter for him? 1003 01:19:29,576 --> 01:19:30,367 Yes. 1004 01:19:30,535 --> 01:19:33,658 Give it to me and I'll make sure he gets it. 1005 01:19:38,283 --> 01:19:42,199 Can't promise when that might be because he's long gone. 1006 01:19:43,450 --> 01:19:46,783 How the young finance their irrepressible desire 1007 01:19:46,951 --> 01:19:48,699 for travel is a mystery to me. 1008 01:19:49,742 --> 01:19:52,783 - So he's gone? - Deserted us, yes. 1009 01:19:54,242 --> 01:19:56,449 Raving about a trip around the world, 1010 01:19:56,617 --> 01:19:58,990 - and married, and all. - Married? 1011 01:19:59,617 --> 01:20:00,825 Marriage, yes. 1012 01:20:01,909 --> 01:20:04,283 Flown the coop with my secretary. 1013 01:20:05,243 --> 01:20:06,243 Liz. 1014 01:20:14,283 --> 01:20:15,865 And your job? 1015 01:20:16,367 --> 01:20:18,533 Well, it turned out that Jerome's uncle 1016 01:20:18,700 --> 01:20:22,199 demanded a bit more knowledge about the business, so... 1017 01:20:22,367 --> 01:20:23,367 I see. 1018 01:20:24,534 --> 01:20:26,907 Well, as for evidence of you being a bad human being, 1019 01:20:27,075 --> 01:20:29,074 there wasn't much to go on in this chapter. 1020 01:20:29,242 --> 01:20:33,365 Yes, as I said. At least superficially. 1021 01:20:34,784 --> 01:20:37,741 - I suppose you were jealous. - No, I wasn't jealous. 1022 01:20:37,908 --> 01:20:39,241 I didn't know that feeling. 1023 01:20:40,741 --> 01:20:43,406 It's almost superhuman not to feel jealousy. 1024 01:20:44,866 --> 01:20:46,782 Well, that was the end of love, then? 1025 01:20:48,783 --> 01:20:51,533 Well, maybe not quite as simple. 1026 01:20:53,116 --> 01:20:57,907 But more about that later, as they say in the novels. 1027 01:20:58,283 --> 01:21:00,949 And Jerome just disappeared? 1028 01:21:02,241 --> 01:21:07,157 Yes. Though I'd tried to keep him in my own way, mentally, 1029 01:21:07,325 --> 01:21:10,990 as I masturbated on the train amongst other people. 1030 01:21:13,324 --> 01:21:15,406 You masturbated on the train, on the seat? 1031 01:21:15,574 --> 01:21:18,490 - Yes, of course. - And that's possible? 1032 01:21:18,658 --> 01:21:22,572 Easily. You just put your coat in your lap. 1033 01:21:22,740 --> 01:21:26,949 It can be done silently without expression. 1034 01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:28,990 The only thing that could give me away 1035 01:21:29,157 --> 01:21:33,073 and mostly to women, was my open mouth when I came. 1036 01:21:47,407 --> 01:21:49,948 Joe: I did a jigsaw puzzle. 1037 01:21:50,115 --> 01:21:52,156 Seligman: Ajigsaw puzzle? 1038 01:21:56,282 --> 01:21:59,281 Joe: I found details in the other passengers 1039 01:21:59,449 --> 01:22:01,614 that reminded me of Jerome. 1040 01:22:56,323 --> 01:22:57,947 Joe: But in the long run, 1041 01:22:58,114 --> 01:23:00,279 I couldn't hold onto the details of him, 1042 01:23:00,447 --> 01:23:02,864 no matter how hard I tried. 1043 01:23:03,740 --> 01:23:05,364 So, you could say that in a way, 1044 01:23:05,532 --> 01:23:09,030 Jerome followed you as a kind of silhouette. 1045 01:23:09,198 --> 01:23:12,738 Yes, but gradually disappearing as a sexual being. 1046 01:23:12,906 --> 01:23:17,946 Maybe that's how it is with memory. You remember silhouettes. 1047 01:23:18,113 --> 01:23:19,822 The essentials. 1048 01:23:19,989 --> 01:23:22,905 But that's not necessarily a bad thing. 1049 01:23:27,073 --> 01:23:29,154 Joe: Of course there's silhouettes in the winter. 1050 01:23:29,322 --> 01:23:31,446 The trees are difficult to tell apart. 1051 01:23:31,614 --> 01:23:33,029 These buds... 1052 01:23:33,197 --> 01:23:34,946 Joe: My father wrestled courageously 1053 01:23:35,113 --> 01:23:38,113 with his flora and tree type guides. 1054 01:23:39,823 --> 01:23:41,196 It's actually... 1055 01:23:43,405 --> 01:23:47,071 the souls of the trees we see in the winter. 1056 01:23:47,696 --> 01:23:49,336 In summer, everything's green and idyllic, 1057 01:23:49,489 --> 01:23:54,155 but in the winter, the branches and the trunks, they all stand out. 1058 01:23:54,322 --> 01:23:56,571 Look at how crooked they all are. 1059 01:23:58,489 --> 01:24:01,571 The branches have to carry all of the leaves into the sunlight. 1060 01:24:03,072 --> 01:24:06,029 It's one long struggle for survival. 1061 01:24:09,239 --> 01:24:12,112 Joe: My father surprised me by calling the naked trunks 1062 01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:14,488 the souls of the trees. 1063 01:24:15,239 --> 01:24:17,862 A poetic thought that was rare for him, 1064 01:24:18,030 --> 01:24:21,695 as by his own account, he preferred the empirical sciences. 1065 01:24:25,447 --> 01:24:26,987 Seligman: And after Jerome? 1066 01:24:28,322 --> 01:24:30,862 I reacted, um... 1067 01:24:31,030 --> 01:24:34,403 Well, let's just say... aggressively. 1068 01:24:35,446 --> 01:24:39,986 - How? - By intensifying my hunt for men. 1069 01:24:42,780 --> 01:24:44,737 Joe: You know these supermarket doors 1070 01:24:44,905 --> 01:24:47,821 that open and close by way of some kind of sensor? 1071 01:24:48,655 --> 01:24:51,320 Now compare these doors to my cunt, 1072 01:24:51,488 --> 01:24:54,778 and add an extraordinarily sensitive sensor. 1073 01:24:56,904 --> 01:25:00,529 My sensitive door opening gave me an opportunity 1074 01:25:00,696 --> 01:25:05,487 to develop my morphological studies from knees to genitals. 1075 01:25:10,529 --> 01:25:15,362 I embarked on a trip through, what, in the lingo of children's books, 1076 01:25:15,530 --> 01:25:19,362 one might call, "The Country of the Big, Bad Cocks." 1077 01:25:21,946 --> 01:25:25,903 "The Country of the Small Yellow Cocks," and so on. 1078 01:25:26,612 --> 01:25:28,694 And most of all, I battled my way 1079 01:25:28,862 --> 01:25:31,695 through an untold number of circumcised cocks. 1080 01:25:33,530 --> 01:25:36,278 By the way, did you know that if you combine 1081 01:25:36,446 --> 01:25:39,028 all the foreskin cut off through history, 1082 01:25:39,196 --> 01:25:42,152 it would reach to Mars and back again? 1083 01:26:01,320 --> 01:26:02,777 Joe: "Mrs. H." 1084 01:26:18,320 --> 01:26:21,236 Joe: By now, I had built up a sizable circle of men, 1085 01:26:21,403 --> 01:26:25,027 and was starting to have trouble remembering who was who. 1086 01:26:25,195 --> 01:26:27,069 Man: Hello, sweetheart. Want to meet? 1087 01:26:27,237 --> 01:26:28,693 - (beeping) - Man 2: It's Fisher. 1088 01:26:28,945 --> 01:26:31,652 I'm lying here thinking of you and what you said. 1089 01:26:31,903 --> 01:26:33,943 I'm not angry at all if that's what you're thinking. 1090 01:26:34,070 --> 01:26:36,443 - (beeping) - Man 3: Hi, Joe. It's Rob again. 1091 01:26:36,611 --> 01:26:38,110 I had a really good time seeing you. 1092 01:26:38,320 --> 01:26:39,694 Give me a... Give me a call. 1093 01:26:39,861 --> 01:26:41,777 - (beeping) - Man 4: Hi, Joe. 1094 01:26:41,945 --> 01:26:44,194 I left a couple of messages. Is everything all right? 1095 01:26:44,362 --> 01:26:46,902 Joe: I quickly gave up trying to remember 1096 01:26:47,070 --> 01:26:51,610 the individual relationships. It was impossible. 1097 01:26:51,778 --> 01:26:55,194 And impossible to predict what they wanted to hear. 1098 01:26:56,487 --> 01:26:58,402 So I invented a method. 1099 01:26:58,569 --> 01:27:01,735 (rattling) 1100 01:27:01,903 --> 01:27:04,276 Joe: It was all based on chance. 1101 01:27:06,486 --> 01:27:07,568 (rattling) 1102 01:27:07,735 --> 01:27:10,735 Joe: A one meant an overly loving answer. 1103 01:27:14,153 --> 01:27:17,360 A two, not quite as passionate, but still positive. 1104 01:27:18,110 --> 01:27:21,235 And so on, up to five, which was a complete rejection. 1105 01:27:21,402 --> 01:27:24,235 And six, no answer at all. 1106 01:27:26,861 --> 01:27:30,735 The trick with this method was that I didn't have to worry about 1107 01:27:30,903 --> 01:27:32,819 the individual relationships, 1108 01:27:32,985 --> 01:27:36,026 but instead became completely unpredictable, 1109 01:27:36,194 --> 01:27:39,359 which, of course, drove the men even wilder. 1110 01:27:39,944 --> 01:27:41,275 (line ringing) 1111 01:27:41,443 --> 01:27:43,027 Hey, Eddie, it's me. 1112 01:27:43,194 --> 01:27:44,902 Listen, I've given this a lot of thought, 1113 01:27:45,069 --> 01:27:48,151 and I've come to the conclusion that we're done. Bye. 1114 01:27:49,444 --> 01:27:52,360 I was just wondering if you wanted to come back, 1115 01:27:52,527 --> 01:27:54,567 and maybe we can do something nice. 1116 01:27:54,735 --> 01:27:57,317 Hi, Patrick, it's Joe. 1117 01:27:57,485 --> 01:28:00,943 I had a really lovely time with you, and I'd love for you to come back. 1118 01:28:01,110 --> 01:28:04,276 If you're interested, let me know. Bye. 1119 01:28:04,444 --> 01:28:08,359 I really don't think we match, and you're quite annoying, 1120 01:28:09,235 --> 01:28:12,776 so I don't want to see you anymore. Please don't call back. 1121 01:28:13,776 --> 01:28:15,691 Seligman: That sounds rather stressful. 1122 01:28:15,859 --> 01:28:17,692 Joe: Yes, actually, it was. 1123 01:28:17,860 --> 01:28:21,776 But fortunately, I had my little book of comfort. 1124 01:28:23,443 --> 01:28:28,900 When I needed comfort or peace, I took out my herbarium 1125 01:28:29,068 --> 01:28:30,942 and looked at my favorite leaves. 1126 01:28:31,109 --> 01:28:35,526 Ash, trembling aspen and lime. 1127 01:28:43,567 --> 01:28:45,817 When you're dealing with a larger group of lovers 1128 01:28:45,984 --> 01:28:50,567 as I was, there will typically be a difference in their qualities. 1129 01:28:50,860 --> 01:28:53,025 H was a sticky bastard. 1130 01:28:53,193 --> 01:28:57,192 I had invited A for dinner, as he was my favorite, 1131 01:28:57,360 --> 01:29:01,525 while H, who was present, had become quite irritating. 1132 01:29:01,692 --> 01:29:03,858 You have to leave. I've got guests for dinner. 1133 01:29:04,025 --> 01:29:05,734 But he's not coming until seven. 1134 01:29:06,901 --> 01:29:10,108 No. But seven isn't that far away. 1135 01:29:10,276 --> 01:29:12,983 (dishes clattering) 1136 01:29:18,567 --> 01:29:20,233 Do you love me? 1137 01:29:22,776 --> 01:29:25,400 Joe: A was to arrive at seven, 1138 01:29:25,567 --> 01:29:28,274 and I needed to get H out of there. 1139 01:29:31,067 --> 01:29:32,525 I love you too much. 1140 01:29:34,234 --> 01:29:37,274 You keep promising, but I understand now 1141 01:29:37,442 --> 01:29:40,983 that you'll never leave your family for my sake. 1142 01:29:43,026 --> 01:29:44,817 It's sad, but... 1143 01:29:46,858 --> 01:29:48,024 it's your choice. 1144 01:29:49,858 --> 01:29:53,024 It's not satisfying for me that I can't have you completely. 1145 01:29:56,651 --> 01:29:59,274 Which is why we can't see each other any longer. 1146 01:30:03,983 --> 01:30:05,024 Goodbye. 1147 01:30:09,566 --> 01:30:10,566 Look... 1148 01:30:15,733 --> 01:30:17,732 Have a nice life. 1149 01:30:19,275 --> 01:30:20,690 (shuddering) 1150 01:30:29,442 --> 01:30:32,316 (loud knocking) 1151 01:30:43,690 --> 01:30:46,732 My darling, I'm yours. 1152 01:30:47,441 --> 01:30:48,690 I've left her. 1153 01:30:50,483 --> 01:30:52,357 (kissing) 1154 01:30:56,941 --> 01:30:59,856 - Woman: Has he gone inside? - Boy: Yes. 1155 01:31:01,234 --> 01:31:02,982 Woman: Is the door closed? 1156 01:31:14,982 --> 01:31:17,314 - Woman: Uh, hello. - Joe: Hello. 1157 01:31:17,482 --> 01:31:20,357 Apologize. We, uh... 1158 01:31:20,525 --> 01:31:23,023 had promised not to come up. 1159 01:31:23,191 --> 01:31:25,940 (woman stammering) We just wanted to... 1160 01:31:26,107 --> 01:31:29,439 make sure he got here safely, now that he's... 1161 01:31:29,607 --> 01:31:31,147 made the big decision. 1162 01:31:32,607 --> 01:31:36,357 May the children see him inside? 1163 01:31:36,525 --> 01:31:39,148 They say that the experience of saying goodbye 1164 01:31:39,316 --> 01:31:42,272 can be very useful later when dealing with trauma. 1165 01:31:59,190 --> 01:32:00,481 What a nice place. 1166 01:32:01,981 --> 01:32:04,897 It's, uh... so bohemian. 1167 01:32:06,439 --> 01:32:08,606 We used to have a place like this before we were... 1168 01:32:08,774 --> 01:32:10,481 we were married. 1169 01:32:10,649 --> 01:32:14,105 Before the children, me and my husband. 1170 01:32:15,482 --> 01:32:19,647 Oh, I'm sorry. He isn't anymore, is he? 1171 01:32:20,439 --> 01:32:22,980 It's all so new and confusing. 1172 01:32:25,232 --> 01:32:27,439 (whispering) 1173 01:32:27,607 --> 01:32:30,688 He wanted to give us everything, but, uh... 1174 01:32:31,856 --> 01:32:33,897 Of course we couldn't accept that. 1175 01:32:36,148 --> 01:32:37,605 Oh, that's right. 1176 01:32:38,439 --> 01:32:41,272 - You need the car key. - No, I don't need the car. 1177 01:32:41,440 --> 01:32:43,314 Oh, yes, you do. 1178 01:32:43,482 --> 01:32:44,980 He likes the car. 1179 01:32:46,481 --> 01:32:47,980 Here. 1180 01:32:48,148 --> 01:32:50,022 - Please, just take it. - I don't want it. 1181 01:32:50,189 --> 01:32:52,897 - Just take it. - I don't want the fucking car! 1182 01:32:56,773 --> 01:33:00,522 It's all right. We'll get the bus home. 1183 01:33:01,190 --> 01:33:04,188 Children might as well get used to public transport now, right? 1184 01:33:05,356 --> 01:33:09,104 Of course, their standard of living won't be the same anymore, but... 1185 01:33:13,523 --> 01:33:15,772 I'm not saying that to bother anyone. 1186 01:33:16,773 --> 01:33:18,355 One has to be realistic. 1187 01:33:22,564 --> 01:33:23,813 Hey. 1188 01:33:25,980 --> 01:33:27,146 What's this? 1189 01:33:27,314 --> 01:33:29,229 It's a present. 1190 01:33:30,148 --> 01:33:33,313 A pillow he has embroidered himself. 1191 01:33:34,897 --> 01:33:36,729 - Wife: And who's it for? - Daddy. 1192 01:33:38,772 --> 01:33:40,854 I do hope it's all right if the children 1193 01:33:41,022 --> 01:33:42,354 call their father "Daddy" here. 1194 01:33:42,522 --> 01:33:46,062 If you prefer, they can call him... 1195 01:33:46,231 --> 01:33:50,230 "him," or simply, "the man." 1196 01:33:50,397 --> 01:33:52,938 Whatever. 1197 01:33:56,855 --> 01:33:58,521 "Whatever." (chuckling) 1198 01:33:59,730 --> 01:34:02,103 Must be hard when you've got everything, 1199 01:34:02,980 --> 01:34:04,522 to know what to say. 1200 01:34:05,647 --> 01:34:07,479 To be honest, my first thought was never, 1201 01:34:07,647 --> 01:34:09,646 ever to let either of you see the children, 1202 01:34:09,814 --> 01:34:12,062 but then I changed my mind. 1203 01:34:12,230 --> 01:34:14,604 I thought it only right that their father be confronted 1204 01:34:14,772 --> 01:34:17,270 by the little people whose lives he's destroyed. 1205 01:34:19,356 --> 01:34:21,146 Give Daddy your present. 1206 01:34:21,396 --> 01:34:23,146 (wife sniffing) 1207 01:34:24,814 --> 01:34:27,978 Wife: It's a car the little dear has embroidered. 1208 01:34:29,896 --> 01:34:32,603 I'm aware that not everyone can see it, but... 1209 01:34:32,771 --> 01:34:35,436 with the heart one can see much, 1210 01:34:35,604 --> 01:34:38,938 however unimportant that information may be to you. 1211 01:34:40,814 --> 01:34:45,312 Would it be all right if I show the children the whoring bed? 1212 01:34:45,480 --> 01:34:49,937 After all, they also had a stake in this event. 1213 01:34:53,647 --> 01:34:55,729 Wife: You need to see it. Right? 1214 01:34:56,729 --> 01:34:58,603 Let's go see Daddy's favorite place. 1215 01:34:59,687 --> 01:35:01,853 Come on, boys. 1216 01:35:03,229 --> 01:35:05,144 Oh! 1217 01:35:05,395 --> 01:35:07,228 (sighing) 1218 01:35:07,437 --> 01:35:11,521 (chuckling) So this is where it all happened. 1219 01:35:18,021 --> 01:35:20,977 You should try to memorize this room. 1220 01:35:21,604 --> 01:35:23,645 Especially the bed. 1221 01:35:24,229 --> 01:35:26,937 It'll stand you in good stead later in therapy. 1222 01:35:27,104 --> 01:35:28,436 (chuckling) Oh. 1223 01:35:28,604 --> 01:35:31,020 Here I sit rambling on about therapy 1224 01:35:31,187 --> 01:35:33,228 without a thought of what it might cost. 1225 01:35:33,395 --> 01:35:36,436 I do hope you don't think we're here to beg. 1226 01:35:40,270 --> 01:35:41,685 I'm sorry. 1227 01:35:41,854 --> 01:35:44,020 I'm sorry. (laughs) 1228 01:35:44,187 --> 01:35:46,812 Being silly. Mommy's being silly. 1229 01:35:47,437 --> 01:35:49,894 Let's have a cup of tea. 1230 01:35:50,062 --> 01:35:53,186 (dishes clattering) 1231 01:36:08,520 --> 01:36:10,685 Wife: Hope it's not too weak. 1232 01:36:10,853 --> 01:36:13,560 Afraid I'm rather nervous. 1233 01:36:19,770 --> 01:36:23,519 The children's father likes two lumps of sugar in his tea. 1234 01:36:40,228 --> 01:36:41,685 (knocking at door) 1235 01:36:41,852 --> 01:36:43,477 Wife: Mm-mm. I'll get it. 1236 01:36:43,686 --> 01:36:45,893 - Joe: Mm-mm. - No, no, please, please. 1237 01:36:47,978 --> 01:36:50,352 - Hello. - Hello. 1238 01:36:50,520 --> 01:36:52,352 - Yes? - Uh... 1239 01:36:52,520 --> 01:36:54,893 How nice. Lovely. 1240 01:36:55,061 --> 01:36:58,435 - Boys, come here. - Is Joe here? 1241 01:36:58,602 --> 01:36:59,768 This might be interesting. 1242 01:37:02,019 --> 01:37:03,143 - This is my son. - Yes. 1243 01:37:03,310 --> 01:37:04,894 - Yes. - Hello, hello. 1244 01:37:05,062 --> 01:37:07,560 - Look him in the eyes. - I'm Andy. Hello. 1245 01:37:07,728 --> 01:37:09,602 - Friend of Joe's then? - Yeah. 1246 01:37:09,769 --> 01:37:13,227 - You known each other long? - Uh... Not that long, no. 1247 01:37:13,394 --> 01:37:15,018 - Not very long? - No. 1248 01:37:15,186 --> 01:37:16,186 Oh. 1249 01:37:23,936 --> 01:37:26,227 Wife: A menage-a-trois. 1250 01:37:28,311 --> 01:37:30,351 It's all so exotic. 1251 01:37:30,519 --> 01:37:33,309 So broad-minded. 1252 01:37:35,018 --> 01:37:38,726 On that point... I failed. 1253 01:37:39,727 --> 01:37:41,060 No doubt about it. 1254 01:37:43,602 --> 01:37:47,351 Boys, now is the time to be alert, 1255 01:37:47,519 --> 01:37:51,017 and ask all the questions your heart's desire. 1256 01:37:52,519 --> 01:37:54,893 Because... 1257 01:37:55,061 --> 01:37:58,184 I hope that you shall never have to encounter 1258 01:37:58,352 --> 01:38:01,601 such people or be in such a situation ever again. 1259 01:38:02,519 --> 01:38:03,519 (silverware clinking) 1260 01:38:03,602 --> 01:38:07,142 Wife: Well, hmm? You don't have any questions? 1261 01:38:08,060 --> 01:38:09,391 No? 1262 01:38:11,894 --> 01:38:14,518 Well, I'll start, shall I? 1263 01:38:14,685 --> 01:38:17,184 Approximately, how many lives... 1264 01:38:17,352 --> 01:38:20,600 do you think she has time to destroy in one day? 1265 01:38:20,768 --> 01:38:23,850 Five? 50? 1266 01:38:24,976 --> 01:38:26,976 Or several hundreds? 1267 01:38:28,101 --> 01:38:30,975 I admit the latter sounds improbable, 1268 01:38:31,143 --> 01:38:34,975 but where there's a will there's a way. 1269 01:38:43,226 --> 01:38:46,850 Look, this is just a big misunderstanding. 1270 01:38:51,768 --> 01:38:53,266 Boys? 1271 01:38:55,518 --> 01:38:57,642 I don't... I don't love your father. 1272 01:38:57,809 --> 01:38:58,891 (laughing) 1273 01:38:59,059 --> 01:39:01,475 Wife: She's just saying that to make us feel better. 1274 01:39:01,643 --> 01:39:03,475 I'm sure you understand that. 1275 01:39:04,267 --> 01:39:06,558 Because if it were a joke, I mean... 1276 01:39:07,684 --> 01:39:12,475 If... this were really a joke, then it would be a joke so cruel. 1277 01:39:17,935 --> 01:39:21,391 No one can be that cruel. 1278 01:39:24,850 --> 01:39:27,766 They say that even the Huns on their rampage 1279 01:39:27,934 --> 01:39:31,724 were rather unreserved, but to split up a family... 1280 01:39:35,059 --> 01:39:38,974 To destroy a mesh of feelings woven over 20 years 1281 01:39:39,142 --> 01:39:42,183 is no joke, I can assure you. 1282 01:39:52,184 --> 01:39:53,433 Well... 1283 01:39:55,059 --> 01:39:57,724 If three's a crowd, then seven must be 1284 01:39:57,892 --> 01:40:00,557 a bit of a challenge for the pretty miss. 1285 01:40:02,683 --> 01:40:07,266 I must say I have a hard time picturing her enjoying loneliness. 1286 01:40:09,683 --> 01:40:13,016 I think we better grab the chance to get away 1287 01:40:13,183 --> 01:40:15,599 before things become grotesque. 1288 01:40:15,767 --> 01:40:18,432 (wife crying) 1289 01:40:18,642 --> 01:40:21,681 - (boy crying) - No, no, no! 1290 01:40:21,891 --> 01:40:24,099 (grunting) 1291 01:40:24,266 --> 01:40:27,432 You wouldn't want to give your father a guilty conscience now, would you? 1292 01:40:27,600 --> 01:40:29,390 (screaming) 1293 01:40:31,642 --> 01:40:33,516 (shouting) 1294 01:40:33,682 --> 01:40:35,932 (sobbing) 1295 01:40:38,432 --> 01:40:41,182 (screaming) 1296 01:40:47,933 --> 01:40:50,598 (screaming in hall) 1297 01:40:51,849 --> 01:40:53,723 (sighing in disgust) 1298 01:41:05,432 --> 01:41:07,598 So how did this episode affect your life? 1299 01:41:08,973 --> 01:41:10,306 Not at all. 1300 01:41:12,517 --> 01:41:15,265 - Not at all? - No. 1301 01:41:16,225 --> 01:41:19,264 You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. 1302 01:41:23,890 --> 01:41:25,722 Well, that's true. 1303 01:41:28,724 --> 01:41:32,140 Some people... blame the addict. 1304 01:41:32,307 --> 01:41:36,306 Other people feel sorry for the addict. 1305 01:41:36,474 --> 01:41:41,097 But I was an addict out of lust, not out of need. 1306 01:41:41,848 --> 01:41:43,639 You would say that, wouldn't you? 1307 01:41:44,515 --> 01:41:47,932 And lust that led to destruction around me, 1308 01:41:48,098 --> 01:41:49,556 everywhere I went. 1309 01:41:51,265 --> 01:41:55,806 Seligman: Well, addiction sometimes leads to an... 1310 01:41:55,973 --> 01:41:57,806 absence of empathy. 1311 01:41:59,598 --> 01:42:00,806 You can't fight a lion 1312 01:42:00,973 --> 01:42:03,598 and blow the noses of your children at the same time. 1313 01:42:06,182 --> 01:42:09,264 For me, nymphomania was callousness. 1314 01:42:12,515 --> 01:42:14,222 Seligman: You're very stubborn. 1315 01:42:15,181 --> 01:42:17,347 But what about yourself? 1316 01:42:18,265 --> 01:42:20,764 How did you feel during all this? 1317 01:42:30,723 --> 01:42:33,763 Did you feel good, or did you feel bad? 1318 01:42:41,807 --> 01:42:44,305 It's funny because when I think about my life 1319 01:42:44,473 --> 01:42:49,138 as a whole, I can only say that I felt good. 1320 01:42:49,306 --> 01:42:53,847 But when I try and remember a specific episode, 1321 01:42:54,015 --> 01:42:57,263 I'd say that just then I felt rather bad. 1322 01:42:57,431 --> 01:42:59,013 Seligman: In what way? 1323 01:43:04,639 --> 01:43:07,722 Mrs. H was right about the loneliness. 1324 01:43:08,515 --> 01:43:12,805 I'd be lying if I said it hadn't been my constant companion. 1325 01:43:15,639 --> 01:43:19,763 Seligman: So you were with all these men, and you still felt alone? 1326 01:43:26,889 --> 01:43:29,222 I didn't want to tell you about it. 1327 01:43:30,847 --> 01:43:33,346 But you've led me into a trap. 1328 01:43:36,597 --> 01:43:39,137 It was a certain feeling. 1329 01:43:43,972 --> 01:43:48,513 Oh, how awful that everything has to be so trivial. 1330 01:43:58,014 --> 01:44:00,763 Joe: When I was seven I had to have an operation. 1331 01:44:00,931 --> 01:44:04,221 Nothing serious, but it did require anesthesia. 1332 01:44:06,430 --> 01:44:10,887 I had already been pre-medicated, and was feeling all right. 1333 01:44:12,055 --> 01:44:14,888 But when I looked into the room where the doctors and nurses 1334 01:44:15,055 --> 01:44:18,137 were preparing for the operation, 1335 01:44:18,305 --> 01:44:20,637 it was as if had to pass through 1336 01:44:20,805 --> 01:44:24,762 an impenetrable gate all by myself. 1337 01:44:27,179 --> 01:44:29,720 It wasn't just that I missed my mom. 1338 01:44:29,888 --> 01:44:32,262 I don't think I missed my dad, 1339 01:44:32,430 --> 01:44:34,221 even though he was the nice one. 1340 01:44:35,055 --> 01:44:39,470 It was as if I was completely alone in the universe. 1341 01:44:41,554 --> 01:44:46,345 As if my whole body was filled with loneliness and tears. 1342 01:45:09,554 --> 01:45:13,345 And I'm still not allowed to feel sorry for you? 1343 01:45:15,179 --> 01:45:16,928 Shall we go on? 1344 01:45:42,678 --> 01:45:44,511 Joe: What are you reading? 1345 01:45:44,678 --> 01:45:47,469 Seligman: I'm not reading it really, I'm just... 1346 01:45:47,637 --> 01:45:50,302 reacquainting myself with Edgar Allan Poe. 1347 01:45:51,512 --> 01:45:52,677 I don't know him. 1348 01:45:54,095 --> 01:45:56,011 Well, he was a... 1349 01:45:58,012 --> 01:46:00,136 very anxiety-ridden man. 1350 01:46:06,220 --> 01:46:10,178 He died in the most fearful way you can imagine, 1351 01:46:10,346 --> 01:46:12,344 in something called delirium tremens. 1352 01:46:15,428 --> 01:46:20,010 It occurs when the long-time abuse of alcohol is followed by... 1353 01:46:20,178 --> 01:46:22,427 by a sudden abstinence. 1354 01:46:24,427 --> 01:46:28,011 Your body goes into some kind of hyper-sensitive shock. 1355 01:46:29,012 --> 01:46:32,010 You can see the most horrifying hallucinations 1356 01:46:32,178 --> 01:46:37,468 or rats and snakes, and cockroaches coming out of the floor, 1357 01:46:37,636 --> 01:46:40,885 and worms slithering the walls. 1358 01:46:43,762 --> 01:46:47,344 One's entire nervous system is on high alert, 1359 01:46:47,512 --> 01:46:50,135 and you have a constant panic and paranoia. 1360 01:46:51,969 --> 01:46:54,510 And then the circulatory system fails. 1361 01:46:55,344 --> 01:46:57,718 But the panic and horror... 1362 01:46:57,885 --> 01:47:00,885 remains until the moment of death. 1363 01:47:17,386 --> 01:47:19,343 I know what delirium is. 1364 01:47:23,677 --> 01:47:24,843 Seligman: "During the whole 1365 01:47:25,010 --> 01:47:26,593 of a dull, dark and soundless day 1366 01:47:26,760 --> 01:47:29,801 in the autumn of the year, when the clouds hung 1367 01:47:29,968 --> 01:47:32,551 oppressively low in the heavens, 1368 01:47:32,719 --> 01:47:35,802 I had been passing alone on horseback 1369 01:47:35,969 --> 01:47:39,510 through a singularly dreary tract of country; 1370 01:47:39,677 --> 01:47:41,384 and at length found myself 1371 01:47:41,552 --> 01:47:44,301 as the shades of the evening drew on, 1372 01:47:44,468 --> 01:47:48,593 within view of the melancholy House of Usher." 1373 01:48:18,343 --> 01:48:20,217 (whispering) Hey, Dad. 1374 01:48:21,511 --> 01:48:22,801 (gasping) 1375 01:48:23,010 --> 01:48:25,176 (panting) 1376 01:48:28,885 --> 01:48:31,675 (groaning) 1377 01:48:31,884 --> 01:48:32,884 Hi, love. 1378 01:48:35,510 --> 01:48:36,841 How are you? 1379 01:48:38,760 --> 01:48:40,258 I fought with Mom. 1380 01:48:40,426 --> 01:48:41,884 (sighing) 1381 01:48:42,052 --> 01:48:44,550 She's... She's not coming. 1382 01:48:44,718 --> 01:48:46,841 (sighs) 1383 01:48:49,134 --> 01:48:51,424 You ought not to fight with her. 1384 01:48:51,592 --> 01:48:53,966 You know Kay's fear of hospitals. 1385 01:48:57,635 --> 01:48:59,675 (whispering) I know she's not coming. 1386 01:48:59,842 --> 01:49:02,550 We already said everything we needed to say. 1387 01:49:05,509 --> 01:49:07,341 Kay and I said goodbye at home. 1388 01:49:08,842 --> 01:49:10,800 I don't want her here at all. 1389 01:49:14,259 --> 01:49:18,258 - I can't accept that. - You'll have to. 1390 01:49:19,218 --> 01:49:22,008 She's a cowardly, stupid bitch. 1391 01:49:23,717 --> 01:49:25,174 No, she's not. 1392 01:49:26,425 --> 01:49:28,217 - Yeah. - No, she's not. 1393 01:49:28,384 --> 01:49:29,758 - Yes. - No, she's not. 1394 01:49:29,926 --> 01:49:32,508 Yes, she is. You've never understood that. 1395 01:49:44,384 --> 01:49:47,466 (father groaning) 1396 01:49:47,675 --> 01:49:49,341 Doesn't it scare you? 1397 01:49:49,509 --> 01:49:51,174 (laughs) 1398 01:49:51,342 --> 01:49:57,049 No. 1399 01:50:00,050 --> 01:50:02,216 How can you not be afraid? 1400 01:50:07,133 --> 01:50:09,132 I've seen so many die. 1401 01:50:11,508 --> 01:50:14,673 And there's that Epicurus quote 1402 01:50:14,841 --> 01:50:16,590 about not fearing death. 1403 01:50:18,008 --> 01:50:21,508 "When we are, death has not come. 1404 01:50:21,674 --> 01:50:26,132 When death has come... we are not." 1405 01:50:30,549 --> 01:50:32,757 You know it's going to happen. 1406 01:50:33,382 --> 01:50:36,673 I also know all the drugs the doctors have to offer. 1407 01:50:36,841 --> 01:50:38,382 So, no. 1408 01:50:39,341 --> 01:50:41,090 I am not... 1409 01:50:41,257 --> 01:50:43,381 I am not afraid. 1410 01:50:45,299 --> 01:50:48,089 Hmm. My beautiful girl. 1411 01:50:50,049 --> 01:50:51,965 - Beautiful dad. - (laughs) 1412 01:50:55,800 --> 01:50:58,173 (door opening) 1413 01:50:59,216 --> 01:51:00,839 Hello, Doctor. 1414 01:51:01,007 --> 01:51:03,881 Hello, Doctor. This is my daughter Joe. 1415 01:51:04,049 --> 01:51:05,672 - Hey, Joe. - Hi. 1416 01:51:08,424 --> 01:51:10,173 Doctor: Do you need anything? 1417 01:51:10,341 --> 01:51:13,590 As I've said, I've decided to be 1418 01:51:13,757 --> 01:51:16,173 an exemplary patient, completely subjecting myself 1419 01:51:16,341 --> 01:51:19,006 - to doctor's orders. - Are you in pain? 1420 01:51:20,799 --> 01:51:22,089 I don't think so, no. 1421 01:51:22,256 --> 01:51:24,340 We're going to give you a splash all the same. 1422 01:51:26,549 --> 01:51:28,298 (beeping) 1423 01:51:41,715 --> 01:51:43,381 (sighing) 1424 01:51:45,799 --> 01:51:47,339 Your hair is longer. 1425 01:51:49,924 --> 01:51:51,589 No, it's not. 1426 01:51:54,673 --> 01:51:56,756 They're giving you too much medication. 1427 01:51:56,965 --> 01:51:58,798 (laughs) 1428 01:51:59,049 --> 01:52:01,756 (breathing heavily) 1429 01:52:01,924 --> 01:52:03,672 (grunting) 1430 01:52:07,381 --> 01:52:08,088 No. 1431 01:52:08,256 --> 01:52:09,422 (grunting) 1432 01:52:09,589 --> 01:52:11,130 - Dad. - (groaning) 1433 01:52:11,923 --> 01:52:15,339 It's okay, Dad. You're just dreaming. 1434 01:52:15,507 --> 01:52:20,088 You're having a nightmare. 1435 01:52:21,590 --> 01:52:24,963 It's okay. 1436 01:52:29,130 --> 01:52:30,714 (groaning) 1437 01:52:30,882 --> 01:52:32,963 (buzzing) 1438 01:52:33,131 --> 01:52:35,838 (crying out) 1439 01:52:38,256 --> 01:52:40,088 (screaming) 1440 01:52:42,589 --> 01:52:45,087 It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. 1441 01:52:47,798 --> 01:52:50,922 Okay. Don't worry, I'm going to get the doctor. Don't worry. 1442 01:52:51,131 --> 01:52:53,630 (father moaning) 1443 01:52:53,881 --> 01:52:56,213 (panting) 1444 01:53:07,631 --> 01:53:09,630 You must be exhausted. 1445 01:53:11,297 --> 01:53:12,588 I'm fine. 1446 01:53:13,422 --> 01:53:15,837 I think you should go home, get some rest. 1447 01:53:17,630 --> 01:53:20,713 No. Someone needs to be here. 1448 01:53:22,589 --> 01:53:25,463 Perhaps you could share with some other family members. 1449 01:53:28,880 --> 01:53:30,670 There aren't any others. 1450 01:53:42,214 --> 01:53:43,214 (door opening) 1451 01:53:55,755 --> 01:53:58,213 (sighing) 1452 01:54:04,963 --> 01:54:06,504 (screaming) Kay! 1453 01:54:06,671 --> 01:54:09,546 - Daddy, it's okay. - (gasping) 1454 01:54:09,838 --> 01:54:12,754 Kay? (whimpering) 1455 01:54:16,630 --> 01:54:17,962 (groaning) Kay. 1456 01:54:18,129 --> 01:54:20,920 Kay. Kay. 1457 01:54:23,004 --> 01:54:26,338 (groaning) 1458 01:54:26,588 --> 01:54:29,962 (panting) Kay. 1459 01:54:30,129 --> 01:54:32,629 Kay! Kay. 1460 01:54:32,797 --> 01:54:35,795 - (shouting) Kay! - I'm going to get the doctor. 1461 01:54:35,962 --> 01:54:37,337 Kay! 1462 01:54:37,505 --> 01:54:39,128 I'm going to get the doctor, Daddy. 1463 01:54:42,546 --> 01:54:46,504 Excuse me. My dad is really unwell. 1464 01:54:46,671 --> 01:54:48,920 Sit. I'll go have a look. 1465 01:54:50,670 --> 01:54:52,544 Maybe you could give him some more morphine. 1466 01:54:52,712 --> 01:54:55,377 There's something I'd like to explain. 1467 01:54:56,962 --> 01:54:58,587 I can certainly give him more morphine, 1468 01:54:58,755 --> 01:55:01,961 but most likely it won't make much difference. 1469 01:55:02,962 --> 01:55:07,295 Most deaths, fortunately, are uneventful, 1470 01:55:07,462 --> 01:55:12,544 as long as you medicate the patients to keep them free of fear and pain. 1471 01:55:13,003 --> 01:55:15,836 In a few cases, the process of dying 1472 01:55:16,004 --> 01:55:17,795 causes brain damage, 1473 01:55:19,004 --> 01:55:21,253 which triggers what we call delirium. 1474 01:55:22,004 --> 01:55:26,836 That's not something we can soften with morphine, unfortunately. 1475 01:55:35,004 --> 01:55:37,753 (father crying) 1476 01:55:43,628 --> 01:55:45,294 (sobbing) 1477 01:55:45,462 --> 01:55:46,919 Daddy. 1478 01:55:57,128 --> 01:55:58,835 It's gonna be okay. 1479 01:56:10,669 --> 01:56:13,543 I don't know what's happening to me. 1480 01:56:13,753 --> 01:56:16,710 (sobbing) 1481 01:56:30,461 --> 01:56:32,543 Don't you want to take a little walk? 1482 01:56:32,711 --> 01:56:35,043 I'll stay with your father in the meantime. 1483 01:56:35,586 --> 01:56:38,294 You'll stay? You'll stay here? 1484 01:56:38,462 --> 01:56:39,462 Yes. 1485 01:57:31,377 --> 01:57:33,667 (father grunting) 1486 01:57:36,835 --> 01:57:38,751 Ash tree leaves. 1487 01:57:41,210 --> 01:57:43,000 Where did you find them? 1488 01:57:43,503 --> 01:57:45,376 They were in the park. 1489 01:57:53,502 --> 01:57:56,459 It truly is the most beautiful tree in the forest. 1490 01:58:00,752 --> 01:58:02,876 But Dad... 1491 01:58:03,044 --> 01:58:06,000 How do you recognize it in winter? 1492 01:58:07,001 --> 01:58:08,917 Told you 100 times. 1493 01:58:10,959 --> 01:58:12,666 I can't remember. 1494 01:58:17,418 --> 01:58:20,459 When the ash tree was created... 1495 01:58:23,084 --> 01:58:26,042 it made all the other trees in the forest jealous, 1496 01:58:27,126 --> 01:58:28,917 because it was... 1497 01:58:31,209 --> 01:58:33,834 It was the most beautiful tree in the forest. 1498 01:58:37,335 --> 01:58:39,167 It had the strongest wood. 1499 01:58:40,335 --> 01:58:42,125 It could be used for anything. 1500 01:58:44,793 --> 01:58:48,666 It was the World Tree in Norse mythology. 1501 01:58:50,168 --> 01:58:53,125 You couldn't say anything bad about it. 1502 01:58:57,334 --> 01:59:00,957 And then when all the other trees saw the ash tree 1503 01:59:01,125 --> 01:59:04,208 with its black buds... 1504 01:59:05,292 --> 01:59:07,375 they all started laughing. 1505 01:59:08,293 --> 01:59:09,792 "Oh, look. 1506 01:59:11,043 --> 01:59:14,625 The ash tree's had its fingers in the ashes." 1507 01:59:20,375 --> 01:59:22,833 (Joe crying) 1508 01:59:31,750 --> 01:59:34,874 - (father crying out) - Dad. Daddy! 1509 01:59:35,042 --> 01:59:36,916 Daddy. Daddy, what's wrong? 1510 01:59:37,083 --> 01:59:38,403 - (panting) - Daddy, what's wrong? 1511 01:59:38,793 --> 01:59:41,750 - (whispering) - (screaming) 1512 01:59:41,958 --> 01:59:44,374 Daddy, it's me! It's me, then. It's me! 1513 01:59:44,584 --> 01:59:47,457 - (screaming) - Help! Help! 1514 01:59:50,167 --> 01:59:51,207 Okay. 1515 01:59:51,374 --> 01:59:53,540 - (beeping) - Okay. 1516 01:59:56,584 --> 01:59:59,041 Okay. It's okay, it's okay. It's all right. 1517 01:59:59,209 --> 02:00:00,832 (shouting) 1518 02:00:02,917 --> 02:00:04,707 Woman: It's all right. 1519 02:00:13,459 --> 02:00:14,832 (shouting) 1520 02:00:15,000 --> 02:00:17,124 Doctor: We have to fixate him. 1521 02:00:17,291 --> 02:00:20,832 Father: What are you doing? What are you doing to me? 1522 02:00:21,500 --> 02:00:23,582 (father shouting) 1523 02:00:25,916 --> 02:00:29,166 Father: Joe! What are you doing to me? 1524 02:00:29,333 --> 02:00:32,207 (screaming) 1525 02:00:43,373 --> 02:00:44,373 Father: Joe! 1526 02:00:44,875 --> 02:00:47,582 - (crying) - Father: Joe! (screaming) 1527 02:00:47,750 --> 02:00:50,248 I'm sorry. 1528 02:00:55,415 --> 02:00:56,831 Doctor: You should take a break. 1529 02:01:00,081 --> 02:01:03,207 (father screaming) 1530 02:02:30,539 --> 02:02:32,288 Joe: Excuse me. 1531 02:02:32,498 --> 02:02:35,163 (indistinct conversation) 1532 02:02:39,580 --> 02:02:41,247 Okay, don't worry. 1533 02:02:41,415 --> 02:02:44,080 Just clean that up. 1534 02:03:31,080 --> 02:03:32,497 Woman: Ready? 1535 02:03:48,747 --> 02:03:51,121 (moaning) 1536 02:04:01,662 --> 02:04:04,245 (sobbing) 1537 02:04:35,746 --> 02:04:40,037 Joe: When he died, I had no feelings left. 1538 02:04:40,996 --> 02:04:43,328 Seligman: Well, that's certainly understandable. 1539 02:04:44,121 --> 02:04:47,203 Joe: No. I don't know what happened to me. 1540 02:04:48,454 --> 02:04:49,994 It was very shameful. 1541 02:04:51,120 --> 02:04:54,870 Seligman: Shameful? I don't understand. 1542 02:05:20,703 --> 02:05:22,911 Joe: I lubricated. 1543 02:05:40,620 --> 02:05:42,787 I know you like to present yourself in a negative way, 1544 02:05:42,953 --> 02:05:45,369 and that you have this, kind of dark bias 1545 02:05:45,537 --> 02:05:47,619 that you're worse than everyone else. 1546 02:05:48,287 --> 02:05:50,203 But this story doesn't add to that belief. 1547 02:05:52,578 --> 02:05:55,951 It's extremely common to react sexually in a crisis. 1548 02:05:56,745 --> 02:05:59,161 It may be shameful to you, but... 1549 02:05:59,329 --> 02:06:02,827 in literature, there is many worse examples. 1550 02:06:06,578 --> 02:06:08,911 But I did inherit my father's caliper. 1551 02:06:11,411 --> 02:06:16,077 I found it so beautiful and worn by its use. 1552 02:06:17,287 --> 02:06:19,535 What else did you receive? 1553 02:06:22,286 --> 02:06:23,577 Nothing. 1554 02:06:25,369 --> 02:06:27,659 I didn't have the strength to argue with my mother, 1555 02:06:27,827 --> 02:06:31,035 so I wrote off any further part of my inheritance. 1556 02:06:31,203 --> 02:06:36,243 Really? Well, that's a dramatic gesture. 1557 02:06:39,536 --> 02:06:42,826 - You listen to music, I see? - Seligman: Yes. 1558 02:06:42,994 --> 02:06:46,993 I like it a lot. Shall I find a tape? 1559 02:06:47,160 --> 02:06:51,993 No, if there's a tape already in the machine? I'd like to hear that. 1560 02:06:52,536 --> 02:06:54,536 It's something I've been listening to a lot lately, 1561 02:06:54,577 --> 02:06:57,868 though it's not an entirely complete recording, unfortunately. 1562 02:06:58,494 --> 02:07:00,993 - What is it? - It's Bach. 1563 02:07:01,160 --> 02:07:03,909 From his little organ book. 1564 02:07:05,244 --> 02:07:08,368 (speaking in German) 1565 02:07:10,911 --> 02:07:13,201 The theme is originally a hymn, 1566 02:07:14,076 --> 02:07:17,451 Bach rearranged it and embellished it a little. 1567 02:07:18,452 --> 02:07:21,494 He was the master at polyphony, if you know what that is. 1568 02:07:21,660 --> 02:07:24,160 No, yet another thing I don't know. 1569 02:07:24,327 --> 02:07:27,367 Seligman: Polyphony is from the Middle Ages. 1570 02:07:27,535 --> 02:07:30,034 It's an entirely European phenomenon. 1571 02:07:30,868 --> 02:07:33,700 It's distinguished by the idea that, 1572 02:07:33,868 --> 02:07:36,992 every voice is its own melody, 1573 02:07:38,452 --> 02:07:40,409 but together in harmony. 1574 02:07:42,285 --> 02:07:46,326 Bach's forerunner, Palestrina, he wrote many words 1575 02:07:46,494 --> 02:07:48,992 for several choirs at the same time, 1576 02:07:49,160 --> 02:07:51,575 wallowing in polyphony. 1577 02:07:51,743 --> 02:07:54,451 (all singing choral music) 1578 02:08:01,534 --> 02:08:03,617 But in my eyes, Bach perfected 1579 02:08:03,785 --> 02:08:06,117 the melodic expression and the harmony. 1580 02:08:07,159 --> 02:08:11,409 And also mixed up with some rather incomprehensible 1581 02:08:11,577 --> 02:08:13,784 mystique regarding numbers, 1582 02:08:13,951 --> 02:08:17,700 most likely based on the Fibonacci Sequence. 1583 02:08:19,284 --> 02:08:21,450 You know the one that starts with the zero, 1584 02:08:21,618 --> 02:08:22,825 and then comes the one. 1585 02:08:23,534 --> 02:08:27,617 The sequence is created by adding the two previous numbers 1586 02:08:27,785 --> 02:08:30,909 to create the new one, so it's zero plus one makes one. 1587 02:08:31,076 --> 02:08:33,784 And one plus one makes two, and two plus one makes three 1588 02:08:33,951 --> 02:08:37,200 and three plus two makes five, and five plus three makes eight, 1589 02:08:37,367 --> 02:08:39,366 and eight plus five makes 13. 1590 02:08:39,534 --> 02:08:41,174 The sequence has an interesting connection 1591 02:08:41,284 --> 02:08:44,034 to Pythagoras' theorem of the Golden Section. 1592 02:08:45,785 --> 02:08:49,074 It was all about finding out a divine methodology 1593 02:08:49,242 --> 02:08:50,991 in art and architecture. 1594 02:08:51,159 --> 02:08:52,949 A bit like the way a tri-tone, 1595 02:08:53,117 --> 02:08:55,074 which was played on the piano in your little club 1596 02:08:55,242 --> 02:08:57,200 was supposed to be a satanic interval. 1597 02:08:58,867 --> 02:09:03,033 The sum of the numeric values represented in Bach's name is 14, 1598 02:09:04,034 --> 02:09:06,116 a number he often used in his compositions. 1599 02:09:06,284 --> 02:09:07,949 The clever thing about Bach's name 1600 02:09:08,117 --> 02:09:11,532 is that the numeric value of the individual letters 1601 02:09:11,700 --> 02:09:13,449 are all Fibonacci numbers. 1602 02:09:16,533 --> 02:09:18,949 This piece has three voices: 1603 02:09:19,117 --> 02:09:20,283 the bass voice... 1604 02:09:20,451 --> 02:09:23,783 (low tone sounding) 1605 02:09:26,117 --> 02:09:27,991 The second voice played with the left hand. 1606 02:09:28,158 --> 02:09:32,532 (higher tone sounding) 1607 02:09:32,741 --> 02:09:34,492 The first voice played with the right hand. 1608 02:09:34,658 --> 02:09:38,407 That is called Cantus Firmus, or Cantu firmus. 1609 02:09:38,575 --> 02:09:42,741 And together, these three voices create the polyphony. 1610 02:09:46,908 --> 02:09:49,866 (classical music begins) 1611 02:11:05,782 --> 02:11:07,615 (music stops) 1612 02:11:10,782 --> 02:11:13,323 (sighs) 1613 02:11:13,491 --> 02:11:16,615 Well, if I should compare this with my story, 1614 02:11:16,783 --> 02:11:19,989 it's reminiscent of a quality of nymphomania, 1615 02:11:20,157 --> 02:11:23,530 which is normally ignored, but nonetheless essential, 1616 02:11:23,698 --> 02:11:27,363 and namely the relationship between the various intercourses. 1617 02:11:29,990 --> 02:11:32,072 That's interesting. 1618 02:11:32,240 --> 02:11:34,947 They create a... a completeness? 1619 02:11:36,324 --> 02:11:38,489 As, for example, the handshake, 1620 02:11:38,656 --> 02:11:41,739 which for all people is the sum of 1621 02:11:41,907 --> 02:11:44,655 all the different handshakes that together 1622 02:11:44,823 --> 02:11:48,031 form our view of what a handshake is. 1623 02:11:48,199 --> 02:11:50,947 The good, the bad handshake, 1624 02:11:51,115 --> 02:11:52,781 the firm, the limp. 1625 02:11:54,823 --> 02:11:57,530 Normally, a nymphomaniac is seen as... 1626 02:11:58,822 --> 02:12:00,863 someone who can't get enough, 1627 02:12:01,781 --> 02:12:03,989 and therefore, has sex with many different people. 1628 02:12:04,157 --> 02:12:05,697 Well, that, of course, is true, 1629 02:12:05,865 --> 02:12:10,447 but if I'm to be honest, I see it precisely as 1630 02:12:10,615 --> 02:12:15,238 the sum of all these different sexual experiences. 1631 02:12:17,072 --> 02:12:21,197 So in that way, I have only one lover. 1632 02:12:25,947 --> 02:12:28,613 Joe: Since the music has three voices, 1633 02:12:28,781 --> 02:12:32,488 I will limit myself to talking about three lovers. 1634 02:12:32,655 --> 02:12:36,489 The bass is easy. That's F. 1635 02:12:37,072 --> 02:12:40,447 F had a red car that he'd bought used. 1636 02:12:41,822 --> 02:12:43,197 (both panting) 1637 02:12:43,364 --> 02:12:44,488 Joe: As I was having sex 1638 02:12:44,655 --> 02:12:48,654 with seven or eight men every night at the time, 1639 02:12:48,822 --> 02:12:50,945 scheduling was tricky. 1640 02:12:51,113 --> 02:12:53,697 And they all had to have precise appointments. 1641 02:12:54,114 --> 02:12:56,988 F was a good man. 1642 02:12:57,156 --> 02:12:59,696 If he was scheduled for ten o'clock, 1643 02:12:59,864 --> 02:13:03,987 he always showed up around nine and parked down in the street. 1644 02:13:04,155 --> 02:13:06,446 I always smiled when I saw him. 1645 02:13:08,281 --> 02:13:11,780 Often I took pity on him, and gave him a cup of coffee, 1646 02:13:11,947 --> 02:13:14,155 although I was finishing with the one before. 1647 02:13:16,781 --> 02:13:20,112 It's hard to say why I'm choosing to talk about F, 1648 02:13:20,280 --> 02:13:21,945 but he was reassuring, 1649 02:13:22,489 --> 02:13:25,780 and he knew exactly what I wanted when we had sex. 1650 02:13:26,697 --> 02:13:30,154 No, I'd go even further, and say that there was 1651 02:13:30,322 --> 02:13:33,529 a kind of telepathy going on when we had sex. 1652 02:13:34,614 --> 02:13:38,820 Without words, he knew exactly what I wanted, 1653 02:13:39,030 --> 02:13:42,112 where he should touch me and what he should do. 1654 02:13:43,781 --> 02:13:48,112 The most sacred goal for F was my orgasm. 1655 02:13:48,988 --> 02:13:51,737 - Why? And then... - (laughing) 1656 02:13:51,905 --> 02:13:55,862 the swans answered in the same voice. 1657 02:13:56,030 --> 02:13:57,987 Joe: And granted him privileges 1658 02:13:58,155 --> 02:14:00,321 none of the others received. 1659 02:14:06,905 --> 02:14:08,945 F was the bass voice. 1660 02:14:09,112 --> 02:14:12,861 Monotone, predictable and ritualistic. 1661 02:14:13,029 --> 02:14:14,820 No doubt about it. 1662 02:14:14,988 --> 02:14:18,487 But also the foundation that is so important, 1663 02:14:18,654 --> 02:14:21,779 even if on its own it doesn't mean much. 1664 02:14:54,820 --> 02:14:56,736 G was quite different. 1665 02:14:57,820 --> 02:15:01,569 The only one I had to, and wanted to wait for. 1666 02:15:02,570 --> 02:15:05,986 When he finally turned up and I opened the door, 1667 02:15:06,154 --> 02:15:08,361 he didn't immediately enter, 1668 02:15:08,529 --> 02:15:11,320 the way a cat doesn't when you let it in. 1669 02:15:11,487 --> 02:15:13,819 As if, once the door is open, 1670 02:15:13,987 --> 02:15:16,110 it has all the time in the world. 1671 02:15:22,987 --> 02:15:25,195 But he was more than a cat. 1672 02:15:25,362 --> 02:15:28,486 He was like some kind of jaguar, or leopard. 1673 02:15:29,862 --> 02:15:32,068 He moved like them, 1674 02:15:32,236 --> 02:15:34,860 which turned me on no end. 1675 02:15:39,112 --> 02:15:41,444 (sighing) 1676 02:15:45,612 --> 02:15:47,902 Joe: When he laid down on my bed, 1677 02:15:48,069 --> 02:15:50,526 it was clear to me that I should approach him, 1678 02:15:50,694 --> 02:15:52,568 and not the other way round. 1679 02:15:53,154 --> 02:15:58,402 And when I did touch him, it was with some hesitation, 1680 02:15:58,570 --> 02:16:01,818 as his reactions were unpredictable. 1681 02:16:01,986 --> 02:16:04,985 He was in charge. That's the way it was. 1682 02:16:07,360 --> 02:16:09,652 ♪ (classical music playing) ♪ 1683 02:16:55,444 --> 02:16:57,609 Joe: Despite my success in managing 1684 02:16:57,777 --> 02:17:00,860 the complicated logistics involved with arranging 1685 02:17:01,028 --> 02:17:04,359 up to ten daily sexual satisfactions, 1686 02:17:04,527 --> 02:17:07,193 while also having a full-time job, 1687 02:17:07,360 --> 02:17:10,567 I was still prone to a certain sadness. 1688 02:17:10,735 --> 02:17:13,525 So when my busy life allowed a few breaks, 1689 02:17:13,693 --> 02:17:15,985 I used them to take my walks. 1690 02:17:16,986 --> 02:17:20,276 These repeated walks became a kind of metaphor 1691 02:17:20,444 --> 02:17:23,526 for my life. Monotonous and pointless. 1692 02:17:26,235 --> 02:17:29,942 Yes, precisely like the movements of a caged animal. 1693 02:17:31,526 --> 02:17:34,318 Basically, we're all waiting for permission to die. 1694 02:17:34,486 --> 02:17:36,859 (growling softly) 1695 02:19:01,901 --> 02:19:03,399 Seligman: No. 1696 02:19:04,275 --> 02:19:07,107 No, no, no. No, there... 1697 02:19:07,275 --> 02:19:09,857 There are some completely unrealistic coincidences 1698 02:19:10,025 --> 02:19:11,691 in your story about Jerome. 1699 02:19:13,901 --> 02:19:17,566 First, by chance, he hires you as... As an assistant. 1700 02:19:17,734 --> 02:19:19,214 And then you take a walk in a forest, 1701 02:19:19,317 --> 02:19:20,982 and it's littered with photographs of him. 1702 02:19:21,150 --> 02:19:24,107 And not only that... he's present. 1703 02:19:25,150 --> 02:19:29,399 And then like a god, pulls you up to him through the clouds. 1704 02:19:29,859 --> 02:19:33,566 So what? That's the way this story goes. 1705 02:19:34,358 --> 02:19:37,399 And I'm the one telling it, and I know what happened. 1706 02:19:38,649 --> 02:19:40,565 Do you want to hear it or not? 1707 02:19:44,107 --> 02:19:45,858 Seligman: Goodness gracious. 1708 02:19:57,983 --> 02:19:59,857 What a strange way to meet. 1709 02:20:01,692 --> 02:20:02,692 Yes. 1710 02:20:04,649 --> 02:20:06,523 It's a very strange way. 1711 02:20:06,691 --> 02:20:09,107 Joe: Jerome was there because he'd just had a fight 1712 02:20:09,274 --> 02:20:12,148 with his wife, who in anger tore up the photographs 1713 02:20:12,316 --> 02:20:14,398 they just had developed from their travels. 1714 02:20:14,566 --> 02:20:17,148 (Seligman groaning) I don't know if I can believe this. 1715 02:20:17,317 --> 02:20:18,899 Joe: Which way do you think you'd get the most 1716 02:20:19,066 --> 02:20:20,274 out of my story? 1717 02:20:20,608 --> 02:20:22,982 By believing in it or not believing in it? 1718 02:20:24,149 --> 02:20:25,523 Seligman: Yeah, you're right. 1719 02:20:25,691 --> 02:20:27,356 You might have a point with all this. 1720 02:20:31,483 --> 02:20:35,440 (whispering) The secret ingredient to sex is love. 1721 02:20:39,566 --> 02:20:42,440 The third voice, the secret ingredient. 1722 02:20:43,357 --> 02:20:44,939 Cantus Firmus. 1723 02:20:56,857 --> 02:20:58,939 (shuddering) 1724 02:21:15,398 --> 02:21:17,647 (Jerome moaning) 1725 02:21:34,023 --> 02:21:36,772 (laughing) 1726 02:22:02,356 --> 02:22:04,522 (panting) 1727 02:22:19,898 --> 02:22:23,189 Fill all my holes. 1728 02:22:25,189 --> 02:22:30,105 ♪ (classical organ music playing) ♪ 1729 02:23:18,188 --> 02:23:20,146 (Jerome moaning) 1730 02:23:22,397 --> 02:23:23,397 What's wrong? 1731 02:23:23,647 --> 02:23:26,146 Hmm? 1732 02:23:26,355 --> 02:23:29,353 - I can't feel anything. - Huh? 1733 02:23:29,521 --> 02:23:31,021 I can't feel anything. 1734 02:23:33,855 --> 02:23:35,854 (whispering) I can't feel anything. 1735 02:23:38,105 --> 02:23:40,604 (sobbing) I can't... anything. 1736 02:23:43,688 --> 02:23:45,854 (Joe gasping) 1737 02:23:46,021 --> 02:23:50,686 ♪ (Rammstein: "Führe mich") ♪ 128207

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