All language subtitles for Gary Unmarried s02e08 Gary Apologizes.eng

Good news! I'm coming to
your house for Thanksgiving.

That's fantastic. What happened to you
going to Charlene's parents' house?

Yeah, I'm not really
welcome there anymore

since I was Charlene's dad's
Pictionary partner.

I'm sorry,
but how would you draw a cockatoo?

I've been there, man.
I had to draw manhole.

Curtis, hold up. When you're at my house
will you fix my car stereo?

You want me to work on Thanksgiving?

I could charge you $50
for turkey and beer.

I will be there at 2:00 with my tools.

You look awful.

Excuse me?

Anybody can tell a woman in
a beautiful dress how pretty she is.

I pride myself in standing
apart from the pack.

How's that strategy working out for you?

Judging by the look on your face,
oh and one.

I'm sorry.
I'm distracted.

The girlfriend I was supposed to go
to this event with canceled on me.

Apparently,
she's in the hospital for observation.

Which means new boobs.

I could go. I've got a suit jacket
in the back of my van I could febreze.

Thanks. I just don't think
you'd have a good time.

You know, it's an alumni thing
for my college, so

it's just a bunch
of Chatty Academic types.

What makes you think I wouldn't
fit in with that crowd?

Just 'cause I was born in the back
of an el camino and I

grew up eating fluffernutter and I wore
a bathing suit that used to be jeans?

Gary, I am sorry.
I didn't mean to sound judgmental.

I just don't think you'd have fun.

I'm just tired of the stereotype,
that working-class guys,

blue-collar guys like me

don't enjoy the arts or literature or...

paintings or books.

Look, I really appreciate the offer.
It's just easier for me to go by myself.

OK? I'm gonna grab my coat.

You know, if you and I ever get to hang
out after work, you know, have a drink,

get to know each other,

you're gonna know how wrong you are
about people like me. For example,

you might be surprised to learn
that I know quite a bit about wine.

Oh, my God.

This puppy right here has a,

that's nice. Hint of plum.
Nice kick to it. Good legs.

Oh, my God.

Allison and I took a wine tasting
class a few years back.

I bet you're surprised.

I meant,
oh my God,

you just opened the $800 Bordeaux

I was supposed to bring
to the silent auction tonight.

Oh, my God.

Here. I'll spit it in the hole.

-= 208 =-
"Gary Apologizes"

VO By :
�Aka�

Team Subs-Addicts"

It's like there's no gray area with
Sasha. If you didn't go to some

Fancy prep school
then you're some lowlife on "cops"

who threw a can of pork and beans
through his neighbor's windshield

'cause he thought that
you stole his boa constrictor.

How come white people
always have their shirts off

when they're about to get arrested?

I mean, you get tackled in the lawn,
and then you got grass all over you,

and you gotta go to Jail all Itchy.

If you're gonna break the law,
put clothes on. Have some pride.

That's an excellent point,
Curtis. Listen,

I overheard Sasha saying she has
no plans for Thanksgiving, so I'm going

to invite her to my house show her I'm a
classy guy with a great sense of humor.

No, I'm being serious.
I'm having... that's my plan.

I'm sorry, my man.
Good luck, buddy. I believe in you.

You don't have to apologize again.

Come on.
Didn't you get all my e-mails?

Unless there's another
"Garylicious71" out there

- yes, I did, thank you.
- What are you doing for Thanksgiving?

You want to come to my house? Curtis
is coming over. The kids will be there.

Actually my great-aunt invited me over
with her and all her bridge friends.

It's like eating with the cast
of "Cocoon," but

but she does make a killer Osso Buco,

which is my favorite thing ever.

Osso Buco, are you kidding me?

Hey, what has 2 thumbs
and iss the king of Osso Buco?

This guy.

I make the best Osso Buco in the world.

Are you kidding me? Come on.
Come to my house. It'll be fantastic.

You... OK,
you are going to make Osso Buco?

I already bought
the buco and everything.

Come on. What do you say?

- I don't think so.
- Well, hold on a second.

Maybe...

Maybe this will change your mind.

- Oh, my God.
- That's right.

Gary, you replaced my Bordeaux?

I know how much this costs

and how much I pay you, and,

I think it's the same number.

So what do you say?
Will you come?

Fine.
I'll be there.

- All right.
- Thank you.

You're welcome.

You spent $800 on a bottle of wine,
and you can't pay me back the $10

you borrowed from me on the boardwalk to
get your name written on some of rice?

It's not an $800 bottle of wine.

OK? It's a $15 bottle of wine
that I bought at the drugstore,

and I just put the label on top.

That's pretty smart.

You bought a $15 bottle of wine, and you
won't pay me back the $10 you owe me

for putting your name
on a piece of rice?

The guy didn't even do good job
with the grain of rice.

He didn't spell my whole name
he left the R out.

I own a grain of rice that says "gay."

Tommy boy. You ready to spend
the Holidarayri ed with your dad?

That's a cute baby.
I should not have let your mom

give you the sex talk, considering
it's her least favorite subject.

Actually, it's his assignment
for health class over the holiday.

And while I'm away with Howard, you have
to make sure that he doesn't neglect it.

Yeah, it's computerized, and it monitors
everything I do 24 hours a day.

Yeah, I've been there.

But then I got my own house.

Louise, you still got gandhi.
Did you find a home for him yet?

Not yet. And I don't want
to leave him at the shelter.

But it's not so bad,
except for when he pees on the floor.

Yeah, I've been there, honey.

But then I got my own house.

You guys get all your stuff together and
come on over to dad's for Thanksgiving?

- Louise, help me out for a second.
- Yeah, sure.

Grab this... all right.

Look, should I just
cancel my trip tomorrow?

I mean, I could meet
howard's family another time.

I've never spent Thanksgiving
away from the kids before.

Don't feel guilty about it, Allison.
You've raised 2 great kids,

you know, and you've done it all while
keeping your sense of perspective.

Your body's fit and toned,
your skin is clear.

- You've got nice eyes...
- What? What do you want?

- What do you want?
- What do I want?

Do you want me to get you a new Michael
Buble CD so no one see you buying it?

Are you serious?
Did another one drop?

- I got another problem. Have a seat.
- All right.

Look, my boss... Sasha,

she tends to think I'm like
this low-class buffoon.

That's it.
That's the problem.

So I...
I want to impress her for Thanksgiving

by making Osso Buco,
so I need you to help me with that.

I would also like you to tell me,
what is Osso Buco?

I don't know, and Curtis told me
he was the center for the jets.

Osso Buco is a Veal Shank,
Gary, and I can't.

I got a million things to do before
I go to San Francisco with Howard.

And like I used to tell you in bed,

you should never promise
something you can't deliver.

And like I used to tell you in bed,
don't worry. I'll finish this myself.

C-U-M-I-N.

That cannot be pronounced
the way it's spelled.

- There he is.
- Hey, dad!

Hi! I missed you, gosh.

Where the heck have you been?

I've been hiking in the high sierras.

Nothing but the clothes on my back,
and, well, my

baggie of what I like to call
"baja mind-expander."

Terrific.

Let me get you a beer.
You look thirsty, OK?

Look, my boss from work
is coming over. She's a pretty gal.

Do me a favor.
Just be on your best behavior, OK?

Hey, no problem with that.
I even got dessert.

Dessert?

Brownies.

- That's not going to fly this year.
- No, this is not what you think.

- It's peyote.
- Peyote?

Come on.
Put that away.

Finish your beer. I'll tell

the grandkids what's left
of their grandfather is here, OK?

Your grandpa is here.
Oh, my gosh.

This place is a mess.
I asked you guys to help me clean up.

What happened?

Tom left his baby crying while he was
playing video games so I had to walk it.

- Call me, dad?
- Tom had a baby?

How long have I been away?

Hi, grandpa.

It's Tom's baby.
He's supposed to be taking care of it.

Louise, would you please give
the baby back to its rightful owner?

Fine.

I can't take this thing crying. Please,
Tom, pick the baby up, would you?

It's too tough OK?
I can't have any fun.

I have to keep this stupid
thing alive all day.

You didn't want the responsibility
you should have pulled out.

Of the assignment.

Come on, you guys. Clean up the house?
I gotta go finish the Osso Buco.

Well, why aren't we having turkey?
It's Thanksgiving.

Turkey? Tom, my boss is coming over.
It's gotta be extra special.

Dad, I have thought about this, and I
don't want to eat an animal that's been

kept in a tiny cage its whole life just
because you're crushing on your boss.

You don't have to.
Grandpa bought brownies.

You're gonna love this stereo.
You're not going to believe

how loud this thing is.
Be warned...

When you stop at a red light,
you are going to get some dirty looks

and some nasty comments
about this thing.

That's all right.

Wait till they find out I'm old, white
and rocking out to Michael Buble.

I'm running late. Gosh,
Sasha's going to be here in an hour.

I am so far behind.
I got all these things that says class.

Look at this...
Scented candle right there

Jazz CD.
It even says "evening Jazz."

And very fancy, intelligent magazines.

I going to spread the across the house.
She'll think that I read them. And like

real fancy. The cartoons
aren't even funny, you know?

My man, let me show you
the piece de resistance. Here we go.

- Osso Buco 'A la Brooks'.
- I got the recipe off of a website.

This is the first time you've ever
cooked yourself without the aid of

boyardee, butterworth,
or that white talking glove.

Have a taste there. What do you think?

Oh, my God. It's pretty good?
How much salt did you put in this?

I don't know, I ballparked it.
This is about 2 teaspoons, right?

Just...

- Why, is it too much?
- Not if Sasha's part deer.

Oh, my God! I can't serve this.
It's like beefy seawater.

Oh, my gosh.
Sasha's going to be here in 59 minutes.

All right, you know what? Time to bring
in the big guns. Give me your keys.

Gary! What are you doing here?

I need your help with dinner. It's an ER

I thought you found a recipe.

But I can only serve it if I'm going
to use it to rim Margarita glasses.

What?

It went horribly wrong.
I need your help. Help me.

I'm sorry. I can't. My flight
to San Francisco leaves in a few hours.

- I gotta finish getting ready.
- I'm begging you, Allison!

Otherwise my dinner
with Sasha is ruined!

- Gary, I can't do it!
- OK, that's fine.

I thought we were going to do this the
easy way. We'll just do it the hard way.

You just go over there for a second.
I'll, Hi Jack your luggage.

OK. Really?
Really, Gary?

You know, I'm going for 2 nights.
I could just wear this if I had to.

I didn't want to say this, Allison,
but Tom and Louise,

they really, really
wanted to see you before you leave,

and it was tom who came to me today
with tears in his eyes saying, "dad,

"how do any of us know how many
Thanksgivings any of us even have left?"

And I thought, the wisdom of kids.

You're not going to guilt me into this.

We'll see.

Crap.

The house is clean. Curtis is almost
done with the van. How the lamb coming?

It's fine. You know, we're really lucky
we found a rack of lamb at this hour.

Smells good. How's it look? Oh, my gosh!
That looks amazing!

Gary, you really owe me on this one.

I was thinking of a thank-you card,
but all right, let's make it quick.

God, please! Don't make me nauseous.
I gotta fly in an hour.

Then what the heck did
you take this off for?

What? I'm getting started on the pies.
I don't want to get flour on my dress.

Great. You're making pies.
Good. Keep helping.

I really need tonight to be special.
Thank you.

I cannot believe you
have a crush on Sasha.

It's going to be like beauty and
he beast, except when she kisses you,

this won't change back.

- Would you just make pies?
- Look, 10 minutes.

Finished or not, I am out
the door getting ready for my trip.

10 minutes, that's all I need.
That's great.

OK, let'cbs ssee her fly without this.

Dad, come on.

The water heater is ancient.
You cannot take showers that hot.

I haven't showered yet.

Oh, God!

Oh, my goodness!

You're gonna get us all arrested!
Put some clothes on.

My boss is coming over.
And puka shells do not count as a shirt!

Oh, my gosh!
The dog peed on the couch!

Tom, Louise, I thought gandhi was
a nonviolent dog, look at this!

It's all over my couch!

What is all the shouting about?

Hey, dad, I need you to
push these tables together.

I need you to put ice in the glasses,

and I need you to take the salt
and pepper out of the ceramic footballs

and put them in the good salt
and pepper shakers, OK?

Forget it.

- Yeah, I got it.
- Thank you! OK.

No, you have to take care of the baby.
It's your assignment.

- You're better at it.
- What, because i'm a woman?

When did you get so patriarchal, Tom?

Since forever.
What's wrong with loving your country?

- What is that?
- It's ratt!

And it's way too loud!

OK, there's a short in the electrical
system. I can't turn the music off.

You have to. Mr. Biscazzi next door
has a real itchy 9-1-1 finger, OK?

You gotta figure out
a way to turn it off.

I would love to, but I kind
of locked the keys in the van.

All right, we'll have to
Jimmy the door open somehow.

Louise, take the dog upstairs.
Tom, help your mom.

Hey, do me a favor, Curtis.
Help me take this couch outside.

But be careful, it's covered in pee.

How are we going to get this huge
thing through that tiny opening?

Hang on a second. Let me call Charlene.

- She works at Ikea!
- Go on. OK, go ahead.

How do you not know how
to install a stereo?

You're a professional sound engineer!

It's your van, man.

Your whole electrical system
is Jerry-rigged. You got the wipers

connected to the headlights
connected to the air conditioning.

If you want to honk the horn,
you gotta move the passenger seat back.

Let's just figure it out. Please.
Sasha's going to be here any minute.

Great.

I told you. I'm not going to
tolerate with any more of this noise.

Sorry, Mr. Biscazzi.
We're trying to turn it off.

Well, it's too late.
This has escalated.

- The cops are on their way.
- What?

No cops! We don't want cops.
OK, I think I got it.

Jeez, Louise! Fire!

- I'm getting a fire extinguisher.
- I got a broken leg here!

What would you do
if this was a real baby?

I'd be happy, 'cause that
would mean I was getting some.

Push the tables together
put ice in the glasses!

Hey! Come on.
Make pies, would you?!

- Where's my dress, Gary?
- Just keep making pies!

Hey, ice cubes, saltshakers...

And police.
Perfect.

Hey, officer, we're trying
to get the music turned off.

Put down the fire extinguisher.

I would, but it's still
smoldering right next to you.

Drop where you are
and put your hands up.

And turn around.

Sasha, hi. Welcome.

- You have to take responsibility!
- I never wanted it in the first place!

- Gary, where the hell is my dress?
- Shut up, Allison.

Shut up? I slave over this dinner for
you, and that's the way you talk to me?

Someone stole my weed.

Gary, is this a bad time?

- Sasha, here's the thing...
- Hands up.

Do you have to speak through the PA?
We're 5 feet from each other.

Sorry that took so long.
They had to run my ID,

and then there was a tiny, tiny,
tiny, tiny complete body search.

The lamb's burned.
This is a mess.

Look, Gary,
I should probably tell you

that was the most awesome
thing I have ever witnessed!

You don't think I'm one of those guys on
"cops" that gets his pants pulled down

by the police dog?

Of course I don't think
you're one of those guys.

Though they did wait a long time
before calling that dog off.

But come on, Gary.
You have to see how funny this is.

Do you know how many times
I've wondered who those

police helicopters
were shining their lights on?

OK, that was us!
We were those people!

- Do you want to stay for dinner?
- Hey, guys, dinner's ready.

We got original, extra crispy,
mashed potatoes,

corn on the cob.
And they threw in a chocolate cake

because we were their only
customers on Thanksgiving.

What do you say?
Will you stay for dinner?

I would love to.

And not just because of the fried
chicken. But, that's a big draw.

Welcome to Thanksgiving in meth country.

You would hate Thanksgiving at my house.
It's so uptight.

Your family

yells and laughs and tells stories.

And I can't believe i'm going to say
this, but, I'm still Kinda hungry.

That actually might
be the munchies. Dad!

If you're going to smoke,
go behind the house!

I am behind the house!

So you really had a good time?

Gary, I don't know how much
you know about women, but

a guy who makes an effort,
very important.

Hey, I brought you something.

It's the wine you bought me.

Special wine for a special occasion.

I'm not sure how special it really is.

Are you kidding? This is a primo bottle
of wine. Do you have a corkscrew?

We're not gonna need it.
It's a screw top. Look.

I just glued another
label on top of the cheap one.

Smooth.

I haven't said what
i'm thankful for yet.

I'm thankful that I work with someone

generous enough to
invite me into his home when

he knew that I had nothing to do...

and

who went to a lot of trouble
to make sure I had a good time.

Pretty classy.

I'm your boss.

That's what makes it so hot.

Hey, kids.

Man.

Gary, thank you for letting me stay.

I don't think I'm ready to
leave the kids on a holiday.

But now I've got no way of getting
home, although your dad

did offer to take me
on his magic carpet.

There's a bus stop like 2 streets away.

You know, Allison, I can take you.

Really?
Thank you.

It's getting late, so I'll,

- I'll see you monday.
- All right.

Hey, Allison, wait a second.

You really saved me tonight.

I mean, you really saved me.
And I want you to have this

special bottle of wine.

Oh, my God.

Gary, thank you. This is
an incredible bottle. Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.
It's very expensive, also.

And, it's Thanksgiving,
and it's the least I could do.

Thank you.

You know what? I forgot.
I got you that Michael Buble CD...

Sasha's looking.
Don't do it right now.

Sasha's... wait till she turns.
Wait till...

OK, she's looking down, give it to me.
Yes! This is the one with bonus tracks!

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