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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:03,135 Mine curves to the left when it's... 2 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,136 Penis! 3 00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:05,471 Ding! 4 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,873 Mine smells like death and sauerkraut... Grandmother! 5 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,008 Ding! 6 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:10,209 You get this when I touch your... 7 00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,777 Headache. Ding ding ding ding 8 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:13,145 Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding! 9 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,047 : Blistering round for 10 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,849 The husband and wife team andi and bobby, 11 00:00:16,851 --> 00:00:18,717 With 30 correct answers 12 00:00:18,719 --> 00:00:20,019 In 60 seconds. 13 00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:21,286 : You know, in another life, 14 00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:22,654 I could've made a great game show host. 15 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:26,225 Well, you certainly have the giant head for it. 16 00:00:26,227 --> 00:00:28,727 : It's that kind of anger 17 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:30,796 That scares off men. 18 00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:32,031 Up next, 19 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,132 She's an actress, 20 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:34,466 He owns a health food restaurant. 21 00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,300 They're newly engaged. 22 00:00:35,302 --> 00:00:38,604 Welcome, jules and lowell! 23 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,975 It's like watching two chickens 24 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,144 Hypnotize each other. 25 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:46,979 Hey! 26 00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:48,147 Hey! Hey! 27 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,648 Oh, we're up, sorry. We're up, okay. 28 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:52,117 : Okay, here comes the ding. 29 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,655 All right, my favorite food is... 30 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,490 Bean! Curd. 31 00:00:58,492 --> 00:00:59,525 Paste. 32 00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:00,659 Mush. Pass. 33 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:02,728 Okay. 34 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:03,862 All right, okay. 35 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:04,830 My middle name is... 36 00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:05,998 Perfection. 37 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,099 Just kidding. 38 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,867 Um... Uh, p-pass. 39 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:10,369 Okay, pass. 40 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,504 Okay, I have a family history of... 41 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,739 Pass! 42 00:01:14,874 --> 00:01:16,008 Oh, my god. 43 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,709 This is ridiculous. 44 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,611 Aren't you at all concerned 45 00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:20,946 That you two are engaged 46 00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:22,414 And don't know a thing about each other? 47 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,017 Oh, well, while some people value history, 48 00:01:25,019 --> 00:01:27,252 We value mystery. 49 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,087 Oh, yeah. 50 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,221 I love him. 51 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:31,723 That's all I need to know. 52 00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:34,126 Oh, that's sweet. 53 00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:36,528 Where's my friend? 54 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,696 Oh, there she is. 55 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,599 Hi, I've missed you. 56 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:57,816 Jules and lowell are just so happy 57 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,218 And in love. 58 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,419 Of course they are. 59 00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,987 They barely know each other. 60 00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:03,222 Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:04,823 God, I'm exhausted. Yeah. 62 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,125 oh. 63 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:08,560 I just got a calendar alert. 64 00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,729 It's sex Tuesday. 65 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,664 Already? Mm-hmm. 66 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:14,099 I didn't get a... 67 00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,734 Oh, there it is. Mm-hmm. 68 00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,904 Uh... Do you want to take each other's pants off? 69 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,272 Nah... 70 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,407 It's too much work. 71 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,542 Mmm. 72 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:30,649 Oh, no, it's the second Tuesday. 73 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:34,253 All right, I'm up. 74 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,924 Oh, my god, I have mommy and me tomorrow. 75 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,092 Okay, I'm taking the 10, 76 00:02:40,094 --> 00:02:41,593 'cause the 405 is just ridiculous. 77 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,128 And then afterwards, I have to go to the market 78 00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,463 'cause I'm the one who's supposed to bring the snacks, 79 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:46,031 And some kid is allergic to melon? 80 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,766 Who is allergic to melon? 81 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,105 Bobby? 82 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,281 How did he fall asleep? 83 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,683 Did you soak it in chloroform? 84 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,653 We're tired. 85 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,955 We wake up at 6:00 a.M. With charlie. 86 00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:12,024 Okay, well, you gotta change things up 87 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,859 If you don't want him snoozing on your kitty 88 00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,627 For the rest of your life. 89 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:16,828 Yeah, before you know it 90 00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,363 You're gonna be scheduling sex. 91 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:20,966 Hey, sorry we're late. 92 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:21,967 Did we miss anything? 93 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,802 Please say it's the food. 94 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,804 All right, some complimentary 95 00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,673 Algae shots for my friends. 96 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,007 Enjoy, 97 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,410 And namaste. 98 00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,845 Namaste. Thank you. 99 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,714 Thank you. 100 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,816 Okay. Okay. 101 00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:41,320 All: Mmm! 102 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,722 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 103 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,657 Ugh. 104 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,627 Well, now I know what a frog's ass tastes like. 105 00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,099 It's true, 106 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,200 The food is repugnant, 107 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,069 But the view... 108 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,737 Is unbeatable. 109 00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:03,609 Kate is dating steve the waiter. 110 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:04,576 A waiter, huh? 111 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,011 That's not usually your type. 112 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,046 Well, he's also a waiter 113 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,715 In the bedroom. 114 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,084 Was everything to your satisfaction? 115 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:15,554 Very much to my satisfaction. 116 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,624 Hope you saved room for dessert. 117 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,926 I could be tempted. 118 00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:35,040 Oh, my. 119 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,442 That's big enough for two. 120 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:42,347 Gosh, you are such a... Dude. 121 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,983 Thank you. 122 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,618 Jules... 123 00:04:47,553 --> 00:04:48,987 Oh, my god. 124 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,922 It's jack, the guy that I used to... 125 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,157 Jules! 126 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:53,425 You're back from india. 127 00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,661 Hi, jack, listen. Things have sort of... 128 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,933 ...Changed for me. 129 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,402 Darling... 130 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:06,238 Why was that man just tongue-blasting you? 131 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:07,806 I'm her friend jack. 132 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,574 I'm her fiancé, lowell. 133 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,076 Ooh, drama! 134 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:12,577 Fight, fight! 135 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,047 Fight... No, no, no, no. 136 00:05:15,848 --> 00:05:16,848 No... 137 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,016 No fight. 138 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:18,917 I'm sure that jules can explain. 139 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,652 Okay. 140 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,788 Jack and I used to model together, 141 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:23,922 And occasionally... 142 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,290 Hook up. 143 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,826 And I kind of forgot to tell him I was engaged. 144 00:05:29,796 --> 00:05:32,197 So should I... 145 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,503 I am so, so sorry. 146 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,971 Don't worry about it, all right? 147 00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,273 We've all got bits of baggage. 148 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:43,508 I mean, you've got... This guy, 149 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,177 I was engaged twice before. 150 00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:46,678 So... 151 00:05:48,514 --> 00:05:50,682 Oh, no. Kitchen fire. 152 00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:54,720 I knew it. I. Knew. It. 153 00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,455 Bathroom now. 154 00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,092 Just the girls. 155 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,635 Jules, look, we need to know 156 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:12,137 What happened to those fiancées. 157 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,239 And we are certainly not gonna find out 158 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,908 From mr. Outback fakehouse. 159 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,543 You are totally cynical. 160 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,545 You have a pattern of rushing into relationships, 161 00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:22,381 And this time, you could really get burned. 162 00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,649 Kate, he will tell me in his own good time. 163 00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:26,151 Seriously, let me handle it. 164 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,386 okay. 165 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:29,588 All right. I'll let you handle it. 166 00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,758 You're not gonna let her handle it. I am not gonna 167 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,092 Let her handle it. 168 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,195 Whoa. Val texted me. 169 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,330 Val texted me, "hi." 170 00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:39,364 She hasn't texted me in weeks. 171 00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,665 What should I say? 172 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,200 Tell her you're signing your divorce papers 173 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,402 And get on with your life. 174 00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,103 I want to put on a tuxedo 175 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:46,605 And sing to her. 176 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,107 Okay, you're spiraling out. 177 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,076 I made a promise to love her forever, 178 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,511 And I can't just turn that off. 179 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,045 All right, look, if you're gonna play, 180 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,247 At least play to win. 181 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,782 First thing you do is you don't respond. 182 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:57,783 I gotta respond. 183 00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:58,750 No. 184 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,185 Because sometimes, the best response 185 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,253 Is no response. 186 00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,855 See that? 187 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,923 "can we talk?" 188 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:06,024 Type "yes." 189 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,526 "yes" in all caps. 190 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,095 With a smiley-face emoticon so she'll know I'm fun. 191 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,563 I'm typing "no." no! 192 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,064 Don't type "no." don't type "no"! 193 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,534 See that? "no." 194 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:17,736 It's the most erotic word in the english language. 195 00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,138 At least, that's what my wife tells me. 196 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,711 : This is incredible. 197 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,581 Val has texted me seven times since we've left the restaurant. 198 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,716 "want to meet for coffee?" 199 00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:32,551 No. 200 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,885 "lunch next week?" 201 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,220 Negative. 202 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,721 "can we skype?" 203 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,124 As the french would say, non. 204 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,960 She's frothing at the mouth. 205 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,696 You were right, man. It's the power of "no." 206 00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,100 Bobby... Does it bother you 207 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:51,603 That our lives have become completely predictable? 208 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,971 What are you talking about? 209 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,639 I know everything about you, 210 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,174 And you know everything about me. 211 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,409 Like, for instance, tonight, 212 00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,311 We both want to have a second dinner, 213 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,745 Get too bloated to have sex 214 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,581 And then fall asleep watching tv. 215 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,082 Great. Nuke the burritos. 216 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,150 I'll get the remote. 217 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,852 No, bobby, I'm serious. 218 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:07,686 Think about it. 219 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,321 For the rest of our lives, 220 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,922 Until we die, 221 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,758 There will be no more shocking revelations, 222 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,494 No more intimate discoveries... 223 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,195 Nothing new, ever. 224 00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:19,431 Wow. Yeah. 225 00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,099 Never really thought about it that way. 226 00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,168 Guess we should add some variety. 227 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,003 Yes, we should. 228 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,104 I have an idea. 229 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,772 You are not putting it there. 230 00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:31,176 Just trying to throw a little pineapple on the pizza. 231 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:45,156 Okay, what happened with the other fiancées? 232 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,291 Oh. 233 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:47,292 Right. 234 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,294 Okay. Um... 235 00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,495 Well... 236 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:53,131 Look, they were fair dinkum for a tick, 237 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,634 But you know the saying, "without come a guster, 238 00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,270 You're never gonna find good oil." 239 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,480 Hey. I need to talk to you. 240 00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:09,548 Oh, lowell. 241 00:09:09,550 --> 00:09:10,715 Thought you'd be at the restaurant. 242 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,317 Yeah, no, I'm just heading there now. 243 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,318 See you, babe. 244 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,319 See, it's actually time 245 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,854 To drain the tofu. 246 00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:18,590 The curd congeals, and you need a cheesecloth just to... 247 00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,027 Steve the waiter got me the names 248 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,362 Of the other fiancées, and I tracked them down. 249 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,897 Kate! Don't worry. 250 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,933 I was discreet. 251 00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:32,170 Hi. I'm with the u.S. Census bureau. 252 00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,573 The u.S. Census bureau? 253 00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,841 Why does the census bureau care about 254 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,710 My relationship with lowell? 255 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,612 You know, a lot of people 256 00:09:40,614 --> 00:09:42,414 Ask questions like that. 257 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:45,350 They're called "terrorists." 258 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,952 I wish you hadn't done that. 259 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,753 But since you did, what'd they say? 260 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,956 He left the day of our wedding. 261 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,424 I was heartbroken. 262 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:55,293 He banged my little sister. 263 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,429 She and I still don't talk. 264 00:09:57,431 --> 00:10:00,532 My deepest sympathy. 265 00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:04,135 And now I should probably count you, so... 266 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,471 One. 267 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,440 Oh, my god. 268 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,741 I don't know anything about him. 269 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,242 Maybe you were right. 270 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,877 Maybe I rushed into this. 271 00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,312 Aw, honey. 272 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,981 I get it. 273 00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,550 The smooth abs, the beachy smell... 274 00:10:18,552 --> 00:10:21,219 You were thinking with your kitty. 275 00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:25,290 We all do it sometimes. 276 00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:41,506 Hi. In the mood for a little company? 277 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,942 Why? Do I look like a hooker to you? 278 00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,344 No, no. God, no. 279 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,648 Well, maybe a little, yes. 280 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,650 Good! That's what I was going for. 281 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,753 My husband and I were trying to spice things up, 282 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,621 You know, add a few surprises. 283 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,124 You know what'd really surprise him? Hmm? 284 00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,960 If you gave me a handy for a hundred bucks. 285 00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:06,097 How about I give you a nut crusher for free? 286 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,340 Oh. 287 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,146 Hey, there. Hello. 288 00:11:21,148 --> 00:11:22,981 What's your name? 289 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:26,017 Dominique. 290 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,019 And you are? 291 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,621 John... 292 00:11:29,623 --> 00:11:31,389 Varva-tos. 293 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:36,294 Do you mean john varvatos, like the clothing designer? 294 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,462 Crap. Restart. 295 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,930 Okay. 296 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,300 Hi. Hey, there. 297 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:43,802 I'm charlie. 298 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:46,104 Like our son charlie? 299 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,842 I'm gonna go back to varvatos, okay? 300 00:11:50,844 --> 00:11:52,010 Okay. 301 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,245 So, uh, dominique... Mm. Mm-hmm? 302 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,480 ...Can I buy you a drink? 303 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:58,049 Oh, you can buy more than a drink. 304 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,685 You know, if you're looking for a good time. 305 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,053 I'm always looking for a good time. 306 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,689 Oh. Well, you'll have to make it quick. 307 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,257 Quick? Mm-hmm. 308 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,326 It's my specialty. Oh... 309 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:13,698 Great, 'cause I have to, uh, pick up my daughter at daycare. 310 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,400 Whoa, whoa. 311 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,401 What-what? 312 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,569 Time-out. Why? 313 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,104 You're supposed to be a sexy hooker. 314 00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:24,309 I am... So that I can support my blind daughter. 315 00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,013 That's not sexy. That's the opposite of sexy. 316 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,849 Okay, but if I don't have a kid, 317 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:33,685 Then why would I resort to prostitution? 318 00:12:33,687 --> 00:12:35,920 I don't know. Because you love sex. 319 00:12:42,361 --> 00:12:44,195 Ah, mrs. Grossbard, 320 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,030 It looks like the... 321 00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,801 Val, what are you doing here? I don't have time to socialize. 322 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,737 This isn't social. It's vaginal. 323 00:12:52,739 --> 00:12:54,873 But I'm not your gynecologist. 324 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:56,875 I decided I needed a change, 325 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,710 And I thought you could do it 326 00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,212 Since clearly you've moved on. 327 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,114 I have moved on, 328 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:07,352 So I will gladly examine your vagina. 329 00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:12,957 As a doctor who has moved on. 330 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,926 Quick heads-up: I removed the carpeting. 331 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:18,797 I am ready for the hardwood installation. 332 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,134 I will put a note in your file. 333 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:27,238 bobby: Will, can I talk to you for a second? 334 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,907 I will be right back. 335 00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:32,577 Did I hear that right? Is that val in there? Yeah. 336 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:33,812 And she wants to have sex with me. 337 00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:34,913 Do you want sex in your office, 338 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,247 Or do you want your wife back? 339 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:37,348 I want my wife back. 340 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:38,516 Well, then make her earn it. 341 00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:39,951 You walk away from this right now, 342 00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,286 Or she will never respect you. 343 00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,755 You realize how long it's been since...? 344 00:13:43,757 --> 00:13:47,025 Do it yourself just like the rest of us. 345 00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:54,666 Oh, lowell. 346 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,934 Hi. 347 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:58,102 Just came to pick up some... 348 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,206 ...Takeout. Uh, steve, 349 00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:02,941 Could you give us a moment, mate? 350 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:05,109 I'll go punch out... And oil up. 351 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:06,544 Thank you. 352 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,014 Jules hasn't spoken to me since I left for work yesterday. 353 00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,549 What did you say to her? 354 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:15,119 Just that you're a lying, cheating douche from down under 355 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,455 And she's lucky she found out. 356 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,957 Found out? Found out what? 357 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,392 : Found out what? Found out what? 358 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,864 Talk to you ex's green card, johnny. 359 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,966 You investigated me? 360 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:30,969 Yeah, and I know you left your first fiancée at the altar. 361 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,738 What altar?! We never even got to the church. 362 00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,974 What, uh... What do you mean? 363 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,542 We were 17, all right? 364 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,310 I was here as an exchange student. 365 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,146 And we were going to elope, but her parents found out. 366 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,048 Didn't she mention that we were just kids? 367 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,851 Well, I may have left as soon 368 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:49,420 As I got the damning information I needed. 369 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:50,722 Right. But you still slept 370 00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:52,757 With the other fiancée's sister. 371 00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:53,992 No, I didn't! 372 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,526 Okay, how about a little fact check? 373 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,928 No, please, don't do that. 374 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,263 Oh, it's done. 375 00:14:58,265 --> 00:14:59,597 Hello? 376 00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:03,735 Ms. Mcknight, jane austen from the u.S. Census bureau. 377 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,671 Jane austen? The novelist jane austen? 378 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,072 Yeah, I needed an alias, 379 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:10,675 And I could tell she wasn't a reader. 380 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,277 How can I help you, ms. Austen? 381 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,078 Could you please restate your reasons 382 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,180 For terminating your nuptials with lowell? 383 00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:17,849 He slept with my little sister. 384 00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,517 Aha, right. 385 00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:20,885 Thank you. 386 00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,854 He also slept with my mother and my grandmother 387 00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,689 And my great-grandmother. 388 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:27,525 He's a time traveler. 389 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:33,097 Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and hang up now. 390 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,366 She's unwell, okay? Ah. 391 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,701 She hid it at first, 392 00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,036 But she went off her meds. 393 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,638 And when I found out, I tried to help her. 394 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,407 She just kept setting fire to ants, 395 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,809 Yelling, "I am your god!" 396 00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:47,712 So... 397 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,515 My bad. 398 00:15:58,390 --> 00:16:01,492 I was riding by your house and the sprinklers got me. 399 00:16:01,494 --> 00:16:02,560 Now I'm all wet. 400 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,995 Sprinklers aren't on. 401 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:07,198 Then maybe it's just me. 402 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:10,735 Look, we were together for 12 years, 403 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,804 And I know we had our ups and downs, 404 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,306 But I care about you and I can't just stop! 405 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,176 the things I do for new patients. 406 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,911 Let's go! 407 00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:22,914 So this is what giving up looks like. 408 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:25,616 I think it suits us. 409 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:30,588 Whoo! 410 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:34,092 : Oh, my god! 411 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,994 Why are will and val in our bed? 412 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,762 'cause he did not listen to my advice. 413 00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,630 And you cannot do that on a foldout 414 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,532 In the guestroom. 415 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,970 Oh, come on. We eat there. 416 00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,338 There's no stopping 'em now. 417 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,941 I once tried to do that with two dogs, 418 00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:52,043 And it didn't end well. 419 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,512 Val: Take it off! 420 00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,014 So brazen, so wrong. 421 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:58,649 God, I feel like we're, like, back in college. 422 00:16:58,651 --> 00:16:59,784 Totally. 423 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,353 Will: Wow! Hang on. 424 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,325 Wow, now, that's a surprise. 425 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,193 Remember when we met back in my senior year, 426 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,895 We just, like, couldn't get enough of each other? 427 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,063 We didn't care who was around? 428 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,231 Yeah, I know. We just did it. 429 00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:15,133 Yeah. Get those sweatpants off, 430 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,335 And make it quick or we'll be late for class. 431 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:19,404 Yeah, if we're late, we might get punished 432 00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:21,139 Sexually by that hot female professor. 433 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:23,307 All right, I'll give you that one. Okay. 434 00:17:23,309 --> 00:17:27,045 Give it to me, john "varva-tos." 435 00:17:29,148 --> 00:17:32,016 I told you not to get involved. 436 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:35,153 Yeah, but not in those exact words. 437 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,488 No! In those exact words! 438 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,689 You know what? 439 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,091 This isn't all kate's fault. 440 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,026 I have to take some of the blame for this. 441 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:45,029 Oh, you can have it all. It's okay. 442 00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,364 When you asked me, 443 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,999 I should have been totally honest, 444 00:17:48,001 --> 00:17:50,334 But the truth is, I didn't go into details 445 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:53,771 'cause... I was embarrassed. 446 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:58,042 I chose badly... Twice. 447 00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,044 Now, what does that say about me? 448 00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:04,048 You only had to choose right once, and you did. 449 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,250 You chose me. 450 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,791 See? 451 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,259 You came through this crisis, 452 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,762 And your love is stronger for it. 453 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,765 Know what I'm looking forward to? 454 00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:23,167 The wedding. 455 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,771 I'm gonna dance. 456 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,275 Hey... 457 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:42,553 That was amazing. 458 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,721 Yes, it was. 459 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:46,724 so where should we go for dinner? 460 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,827 Huh? Mozza? 461 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,429 Uh-oh. 462 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,165 What? 463 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,901 It's just-- the idea of being with you again 464 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,803 Was really exciting, and I thought I... 465 00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,239 But now that we've... I'm just not. 466 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:03,641 Wait. Hold on, hold on. 467 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:05,843 You just wanted what you couldn't have, 468 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:07,578 And now that... Now that you've got it, you're done? 469 00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:11,349 That makes me sound like the bad guy here. 470 00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,185 You know what? 471 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,591 I've been carrying these around for weeks. 472 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,661 I've not been able to bring myself to sign them. 473 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,966 You like it when I say no? 474 00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,302 Well, get ready to go nuts. 475 00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,539 Because here is your divorce. 476 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:39,544 You know, maybe we should go to mozza. 477 00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,345 Good-bye, val. 478 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:57,562 "get ready to go nuts 'cause here's your divorce"? 479 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,032 So badass! 480 00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:03,401 We are very proud of you, will. 481 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,137 You guys have been in here the whole time? 482 00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,905 Yeah! For the moaning and the squealing. 483 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,875 And that part where it sounded like someone was slapping 484 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,643 A fish against a snare drum. 485 00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:13,978 Hey, quick question. 486 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:16,881 Which one of you cried during the big finish? Yeah. 487 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,716 Okay, what are the chances 488 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,252 That you won't tell anyone about the crying? 489 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:22,820 Slim to none. 490 00:20:22,822 --> 00:20:24,722 Already sent a group text. 491 00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,731 Hey. 492 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,433 Last night was amazing. 493 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,068 And I know we've had a bit 494 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,336 Of a dry spell lately. Mm. 495 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,604 I mean, besides last night, 496 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,672 I can't even remember the last time we... 497 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:43,841 Exactly six weeks. 498 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,676 That's... Wow, okay. Yeah. 499 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,845 Anyway, I think our little college fun 500 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,213 Symbolizes a new beginning. 501 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,683 Hmm. One full of passion, romance and sexual... 502 00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,085 I'm pregnant. 503 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,754 Surprise. 504 00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,856 Oh, my god! 505 00:20:58,858 --> 00:20:59,857 I know. 506 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,459 Oh, my god! 507 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:03,194 I have one more surprise. 508 00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:05,429 It's john varvatos's baby. Oh, boy. 509 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:08,299 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 33934

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