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1
00:00:04,652 --> 00:00:06,052
Ouch!
2
00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:19,940
Aunt Clara!
3
00:00:24,573 --> 00:00:27,740
Oh, Endora was right.
I should've travelled by bus.
4
00:00:27,910 --> 00:00:29,238
You all right?
5
00:00:29,411 --> 00:00:32,745
You know, I think I've been putting
on weight. I used to come down...
6
00:00:32,915 --> 00:00:35,537
through a chimney
as clean as a whistle.
7
00:00:35,752 --> 00:00:37,828
Come on over here and sit down.
8
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:40,709
Over here. All right.
9
00:00:40,882 --> 00:00:44,298
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, it's so nice to see you again.
10
00:00:44,469 --> 00:00:46,758
Oh, and it's nice
to see you too, dear.
11
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:49,884
Oh, well. We'll have
a lovely weekend together.
12
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,852
- Weekend?
- Doorknobs are all very well...
13
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,348
but they're not family.
14
00:00:54,563 --> 00:00:58,014
- Aunt Clara.
- I count them when I'm lonely.
15
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:02,142
But somehow, you know today,
they didn't seem to do the trick.
16
00:01:02,738 --> 00:01:05,609
And then I remembered
the lovely invitation you gave me...
17
00:01:05,783 --> 00:01:07,776
to come here whenever I wanted to.
18
00:01:07,952 --> 00:01:09,280
I see.
19
00:01:09,453 --> 00:01:11,576
Where's that nice mortal
you're married to?
20
00:01:11,789 --> 00:01:13,616
Darrin went to pick up his parents.
21
00:01:13,791 --> 00:01:15,998
They're spending the weekend too.
22
00:01:16,169 --> 00:01:17,414
Oh?
23
00:01:17,712 --> 00:01:21,627
Oh, I picked a bad time for a visit.
24
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,801
Well, never mind,
I'll leave before they arrive.
25
00:01:24,970 --> 00:01:29,098
No, you won't. Now, I haven't
met Darrin's parents.
26
00:01:29,266 --> 00:01:32,101
It'd be kind of nice to have you
around for moral support.
27
00:01:32,269 --> 00:01:35,021
Besides, we have plenty of room.
28
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:37,182
Now, you're sure
I won't be in the way?
29
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:40,976
Of course not, and I'd like
them to meet my favourite aunt.
30
00:01:41,195 --> 00:01:43,069
Oh, you are a nice girl.
31
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,946
Now, why don't I show you to your
room and you can get cleaned up and...
32
00:01:47,118 --> 00:01:49,787
rest before you have to meet
Darrin and his parents.
33
00:01:49,996 --> 00:01:53,080
No, I think I'll wait
for my bag and umbrella.
34
00:01:53,249 --> 00:01:55,622
They weren't ready and packed
when I wanted to go.
35
00:01:55,794 --> 00:01:57,418
So I just left them there.
36
00:01:58,004 --> 00:01:59,664
Teach them a lesson.
37
00:02:55,773 --> 00:02:59,391
I can't wait to see him. I hope
she hasn't let him lose weight.
38
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:01,063
He can't afford to lose weight.
39
00:03:01,237 --> 00:03:03,907
Oh, he's probably
in the last stages of malnutrition.
40
00:03:04,073 --> 00:03:06,647
You know that isn't what
I meant. Oh, there he is.
41
00:03:06,826 --> 00:03:10,527
Oh, Darrin! Oh, Darrin.
42
00:03:12,207 --> 00:03:15,161
Uh-oh, here come the waterworks.
43
00:03:15,335 --> 00:03:18,455
Three months away and it's like
he's back from the grave.
44
00:03:18,630 --> 00:03:23,091
Oh, it's too long for a son to be away
from his mother, much too long.
45
00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:25,383
Marriage obviously agrees
with you, boy.
46
00:03:25,554 --> 00:03:28,224
I've never seen you look better.
Have you, Phyllis?
47
00:03:28,391 --> 00:03:34,144
Oh, he looks terrible. How can you say
he looks well? He looks terrible.
48
00:03:34,314 --> 00:03:36,686
Have you been eating
the right foods, Darrin?
49
00:03:36,858 --> 00:03:38,685
Oh, I feel great, Mom, honestly.
50
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:41,102
Never mind, I'll fatten you up...
51
00:03:41,279 --> 00:03:43,948
with some good home cooking
in a couple of days.
52
00:03:44,115 --> 00:03:45,574
Meet my wife, the diplomat.
53
00:03:45,742 --> 00:03:47,865
Now what did I say wrong?
54
00:03:48,036 --> 00:03:49,614
There's our luggage.
55
00:03:49,788 --> 00:03:51,828
Sam's a pretty good cook too, Mom.
56
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,872
- Sam?
- Samantha.
57
00:03:54,042 --> 00:03:57,957
Oh, Samantha.
Oh, I'm sure she is, dear...
58
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:01,795
and you know I'd cut off
my right arm rather than interfere.
59
00:04:02,092 --> 00:04:04,548
I just thought I'd give her
a few tips, though.
60
00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,594
Can she make chicken cacciatore?
61
00:04:06,806 --> 00:04:11,349
No, Mom. No one can make
chicken cacciatore the way you can.
62
00:04:12,061 --> 00:04:15,062
Oh, it's nice that there's something
you need your mother for.
63
00:04:15,231 --> 00:04:18,600
Let's go. I'm anxious to meet
this bride of yours, Darrin.
64
00:04:18,777 --> 00:04:21,980
- I bet she's something really special.
- Pop, you win your bet.
65
00:04:29,621 --> 00:04:31,199
Oh, there you are.
66
00:04:31,373 --> 00:04:33,698
I told you I wouldn't wait for you.
67
00:04:34,668 --> 00:04:38,797
Well, don't stand there like that.
Come in, come in, come in.
68
00:04:46,264 --> 00:04:48,470
Now, your room is
the second on the left.
69
00:04:48,641 --> 00:04:50,800
I'll check dinner and be right up.
70
00:04:50,977 --> 00:04:52,804
Oh, it smells good.
71
00:04:52,979 --> 00:04:54,521
Pot roast.
72
00:04:54,689 --> 00:04:57,394
I wanted to serve something
more exotic, but I thought...
73
00:04:57,567 --> 00:04:59,809
- I ought to stay on safe ground.
- Exotic?
74
00:04:59,986 --> 00:05:02,857
Yes, you know,
beef stroganoff, coq au vin...
75
00:05:03,031 --> 00:05:05,985
something that would really
impress Darrin's mother.
76
00:05:06,326 --> 00:05:09,909
Don't you worry, dear.
I just know they're going to love you.
77
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,788
How can you be so sure?
78
00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,541
I'm a witch.
79
00:05:28,725 --> 00:05:32,474
I can't tell you how excited I was
when we heard that Darrin was married.
80
00:05:32,646 --> 00:05:35,184
Fainted four times.
Four!
81
00:05:35,357 --> 00:05:37,266
Oh, he's exaggerating, as usual.
82
00:05:37,442 --> 00:05:40,977
Oh, I will admit that I was surprised,
but I'm not one of those mothers...
83
00:05:41,155 --> 00:05:44,156
who want to keep their children
tied to their apron strings.
84
00:05:44,324 --> 00:05:47,195
Then why is everything
in Darrin's room bronzed?
85
00:05:47,411 --> 00:05:51,409
Well, there's nothing wrong with being
sentimental. I think it's rather nice.
86
00:05:51,624 --> 00:05:53,913
His tennis racket?
87
00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:57,413
Why don't you two men
leave us alone...
88
00:05:57,588 --> 00:06:00,044
so I can get acquainted
with my daughter-in-law.
89
00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:03,717
- Come on, I'll show you your room.
- Right.
90
00:06:04,721 --> 00:06:08,849
You treat her well, now, Phyllis.
I like this girl.
91
00:06:10,477 --> 00:06:11,805
Now we can talk.
92
00:06:11,978 --> 00:06:15,145
I just wanted you to know that
you don't have to worry about me...
93
00:06:15,315 --> 00:06:18,400
being one of those
interfering mother-in-laws.
94
00:06:18,569 --> 00:06:20,561
Why, I'd cut off my right arm first.
95
00:06:20,738 --> 00:06:22,565
Well, I wouldn't want you to do that.
96
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:26,951
Of course, if you do need any help,
I'm always available.
97
00:06:27,119 --> 00:06:28,448
That's nice to know.
98
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:32,156
Well, I do know a little more
about Darrin's habits than you.
99
00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:34,373
So if there's anything
you want to know...
100
00:06:34,544 --> 00:06:36,869
anything at all, feel free to ask.
101
00:06:37,922 --> 00:06:40,710
Darrin tells me you're a good cook.
102
00:06:40,884 --> 00:06:42,343
Well, I'm still learning.
103
00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:44,046
Oh, good.
104
00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:46,344
That is, maybe I can give
you the recipes...
105
00:06:46,515 --> 00:06:48,472
for some of his
very favourite dishes.
106
00:06:48,684 --> 00:06:51,685
Do you know how to make
pineapple upside-down cake?
107
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,474
No, I don't.
108
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:56,016
Then there are his hives.
109
00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:58,018
I don't know how
to make those, either.
110
00:06:59,445 --> 00:07:02,197
No, no, dear, that's an allergy.
111
00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:05,401
It's a rash he gets.
I'll show you how to treat it.
112
00:07:05,618 --> 00:07:07,741
Oh, I've cured that.
113
00:07:08,538 --> 00:07:10,661
You cured his rash?
114
00:07:10,873 --> 00:07:15,286
Oh, yes. We found out he only got it
when he ate chicken cacciatore.
115
00:07:15,962 --> 00:07:17,421
I see.
116
00:07:23,804 --> 00:07:27,469
My, this is a lovely room.
117
00:07:28,559 --> 00:07:30,386
Did you...?
118
00:07:30,561 --> 00:07:31,972
Did you have a decorator?
119
00:07:32,187 --> 00:07:34,310
No, I did it myself.
120
00:07:34,481 --> 00:07:39,820
Well, it's absolutely lovely.
I bet you can't wait to get it finished.
121
00:07:40,363 --> 00:07:41,442
Finished?
122
00:07:41,948 --> 00:07:45,399
Oh, really all it needs
is a few knickknacks to warm it up.
123
00:07:45,576 --> 00:07:48,827
Darrin is used to that.
He always had them at home.
124
00:07:48,997 --> 00:07:52,947
Oh, I've got more than enough.
I'll send you some when I get back.
125
00:07:53,126 --> 00:07:54,501
Oh, thank you.
126
00:07:56,588 --> 00:08:00,456
Oh, Darrin, I was just telling Samantha
how lovely the room looks.
127
00:08:00,634 --> 00:08:02,425
Yes, it does have nice, clean look.
128
00:08:02,594 --> 00:08:05,465
I hate a room that's all cluttered
up with ornaments.
129
00:08:07,891 --> 00:08:11,557
You know, we really don't know
very much about you, Samantha.
130
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:14,594
What did you do
before you married Darrin?
131
00:08:14,774 --> 00:08:17,229
Well, I travelled a lot.
132
00:08:17,401 --> 00:08:19,893
- With your family?
- Sometimes.
133
00:08:20,113 --> 00:08:21,904
Do you get to see
much of your mother?
134
00:08:22,115 --> 00:08:24,024
Oh, she pops in and out.
135
00:08:24,576 --> 00:08:26,615
And what about the rest of your...
136
00:08:28,496 --> 00:08:30,156
family?
137
00:08:31,791 --> 00:08:33,452
Hello, Aunt Clara.
138
00:08:34,586 --> 00:08:36,994
Hello, everybody.
139
00:08:38,674 --> 00:08:41,628
Come on, I want you
to meet everybody.
140
00:08:41,802 --> 00:08:44,673
Aunt Clara, this is Mrs. Stephens...
141
00:08:45,222 --> 00:08:47,131
- and Mr. Stephens.
- How do you do?
142
00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:50,392
And that is Darrin.
143
00:08:50,561 --> 00:08:52,055
This is an unexpected pleasure.
144
00:08:52,271 --> 00:08:54,311
You haven't met Darrin before?
145
00:08:54,524 --> 00:08:57,893
Oh, well I've met him,
but he hasn't met me.
146
00:08:59,153 --> 00:09:01,111
In the flesh, I mean.
147
00:09:01,322 --> 00:09:02,865
So to speak.
148
00:09:03,533 --> 00:09:06,071
Aunt Clara is spending
the weekend with us too.
149
00:09:06,244 --> 00:09:09,827
She is? I mean, she is?
150
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:15,583
Wouldn't you like to see
my doorknob collection?
151
00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:17,498
Why, yes, I...
152
00:09:18,882 --> 00:09:20,163
I beg your pardon?
153
00:09:20,342 --> 00:09:23,877
- Aunt Clara collects doorknobs.
- I have 3000.
154
00:09:24,555 --> 00:09:26,963
- Where'd you get them all?
- I don't remember...
155
00:09:27,141 --> 00:09:33,014
but there are a lot of people having a
heck of time trying to open their doors.
156
00:09:36,484 --> 00:09:38,810
Samantha, could I speak
to you for a minute?
157
00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:40,987
- When?
- Now.
158
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,691
Yes. Excuse me.
159
00:09:46,703 --> 00:09:50,404
Maybe this will be a nice chance
for us to have a little chat.
160
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:55,960
Darling, I was just as surprised
as you were. I turned around...
161
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:59,546
- and she was sitting in the fireplace.
- She came down the chimney?
162
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,719
Well, darling, you can't
blame someone for being old.
163
00:10:02,887 --> 00:10:05,639
She used to come through the wall,
same as everybody else.
164
00:10:05,807 --> 00:10:07,716
- Oh, great.
- She's really very sweet.
165
00:10:08,017 --> 00:10:11,102
I'm sure, darling. I'd love to
have her here any other time...
166
00:10:11,271 --> 00:10:14,391
but not this weekend.
My parents are plain, simple folks...
167
00:10:14,566 --> 00:10:17,567
Darrin, Darrin, darling,
I can't ask her to leave.
168
00:10:17,736 --> 00:10:21,354
I couldn't bear to see her hurt.
You can understand that, can't you?
169
00:10:21,740 --> 00:10:24,575
- I suppose so, honey.
- I know it's inconvenient...
170
00:10:25,118 --> 00:10:27,574
but I'm sure your parents
will understand.
171
00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,617
Besides, what possible
harm could she do?
172
00:10:30,958 --> 00:10:33,793
Yes, I'm a witch. All my family are.
173
00:10:35,004 --> 00:10:38,088
Sort of a family thing that has been
handed down, you know.
174
00:10:39,884 --> 00:10:43,964
Bu the witch game is not
like it used to be. Oh, no.
175
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:48,048
Now there was a time when
you could cast a spell on someone...
176
00:10:48,226 --> 00:10:50,598
and they knew it. Not now.
177
00:10:50,812 --> 00:10:52,354
No, not now.
178
00:10:52,731 --> 00:10:56,314
- Well, now, take the Yankees.
- The Yankees?
179
00:10:56,526 --> 00:11:00,192
Well, they lost two World Series
in a row, didn't they?
180
00:11:01,949 --> 00:11:04,107
You put a spell on them.
181
00:11:04,326 --> 00:11:06,319
Well, Bertha and me. Yeah.
182
00:11:06,495 --> 00:11:08,986
Bertha and you?
183
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:15,462
Oh, well, I'm so glad you don't mind.
184
00:11:15,671 --> 00:11:20,168
- Mind?
- About Samantha being one.
185
00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:23,549
Samantha's a witch too?
186
00:11:23,721 --> 00:11:28,300
Yes, yes, but she's trying
to get away from it.
187
00:11:28,476 --> 00:11:29,971
Bothers Darrin.
188
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:41,653
Well, I think I'll go for a little
fresh air, if you don't mind.
189
00:11:45,327 --> 00:11:47,367
Shan't be long.
190
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:55,165
Why, I used to go through a wall:
Just like butter.
191
00:11:56,005 --> 00:11:59,754
I think I'll try the front door.
192
00:12:03,263 --> 00:12:05,801
She's kind of cute, isn't she?
193
00:12:17,736 --> 00:12:19,396
What about your sister Madge?
194
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,738
It's not the same thing at all.
Madge has a quirk, that's all.
195
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:26,242
Quirk? She thinks she's a lighthouse.
196
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,034
You call standing on the garage
roof when it rains...
197
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,784
to warn ships at sea a quirk?
198
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,532
That woman believes she's a witch.
199
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,621
Now you can't tell me that's normal.
200
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:40,584
Well, Darrin isn't married to Clara,
and I think Samantha is a perfect wife.
201
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,758
Perfect? She can't even make
a pineapple upside-down cake.
202
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:49,060
What kind of a family
has poor Darrin married into?
203
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,478
Darrin, think
everything's going all right?
204
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:56,852
I don't know what you're so worried
about, Pop thinks you're great.
205
00:12:57,027 --> 00:13:00,147
- Yes, but what about your mother?
- I'm sure she likes you too.
206
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,941
Obviously the flight upset her.
She's just not herself, that's all.
207
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:06,656
Well, I don't know, I just don't know.
208
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:09,036
I've a funny feeling
something's out of whack.
209
00:13:09,207 --> 00:13:11,828
The only thing out of whack
is your Aunt Clara.
210
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:14,872
At least you know
where you stand with her.
211
00:13:15,046 --> 00:13:16,375
Well, has Mom said anything?
212
00:13:16,548 --> 00:13:20,213
Oh, no, of course not.
I know she's trying to be nice.
213
00:13:20,385 --> 00:13:23,090
I've done everything
I can to please her.
214
00:13:23,347 --> 00:13:25,838
Just don't know.
I have a funny feeling, that's all.
215
00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:27,427
There's something wrong.
216
00:13:27,643 --> 00:13:30,763
Hello, dears. Everything all right?
217
00:13:30,938 --> 00:13:33,690
Yes, everything's ready.
Just keep your fingers crossed.
218
00:13:33,858 --> 00:13:36,183
Oh, I don't believe in superstition.
219
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:39,564
I just know that everything
is going to be perfect.
220
00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:44,151
Oh, dear. I better go empty
the ashtrays in the living room.
221
00:13:44,327 --> 00:13:46,236
Sam...
222
00:13:55,505 --> 00:13:58,709
Clara, Clara, don't goof this up.
223
00:14:00,052 --> 00:14:01,843
Coq au vin.
224
00:14:15,276 --> 00:14:20,353
Go away, chickie. Go away, chickie.
Go away, chickie.
225
00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:33,119
Oh, now that's better.
226
00:14:33,295 --> 00:14:38,171
Now for dessert,
pineapple upside-down cake.
227
00:14:38,926 --> 00:14:42,971
It's been just my luck
if it came up right-side up.
228
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:54,313
I'm on a winning streak.
229
00:14:54,692 --> 00:14:56,484
- Please sit down, Mr. Stephens.
- Fine.
230
00:14:56,694 --> 00:15:00,028
Aunt Clara,
make yourself comfortable.
231
00:15:00,198 --> 00:15:02,654
Hey, that smells great. What is it?
232
00:15:02,826 --> 00:15:07,120
Pot roast. I would like to have served
you something, well, more exciting...
233
00:15:07,289 --> 00:15:09,697
but cooking really isn't one of my...
234
00:15:10,584 --> 00:15:12,909
That's coq au vin.
235
00:15:13,128 --> 00:15:15,038
Samantha.
236
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:18,630
- That's what it is, all right.
- Oh, it looks delicious.
237
00:15:18,843 --> 00:15:21,168
I thought you said you couldn't cook.
238
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:24,714
Quite a sense of humour
this girl of yours has, Darrin.
239
00:15:24,932 --> 00:15:28,633
Yeah, she keeps me laughing all day.
240
00:15:29,979 --> 00:15:31,723
How'd you know
it was my favourite?
241
00:15:32,190 --> 00:15:34,183
Oh, does Mrs. Stephens
cook it for you?
242
00:15:34,609 --> 00:15:39,070
Cook it? She can't even pronounce it.
You must be a great cook.
243
00:15:39,614 --> 00:15:43,233
Oh, you wait until you see the dessert
she's whipped up for you.
244
00:15:44,119 --> 00:15:46,159
What is it, Samantha?
245
00:15:46,413 --> 00:15:48,489
Maybe it should be a surprise.
246
00:15:48,665 --> 00:15:50,742
Pineapple upside-down cake.
247
00:15:52,962 --> 00:15:56,165
Well, Phyllis, I guess
you can stop worrying now.
248
00:15:56,507 --> 00:15:59,294
Our boy couldn't be in better hands.
249
00:16:00,428 --> 00:16:02,171
What's the matter?
250
00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:05,718
I have a sick headache.
251
00:16:06,100 --> 00:16:07,678
Been at it again, haven't you?
252
00:16:07,852 --> 00:16:09,228
They'll hear you.
253
00:16:09,396 --> 00:16:13,061
Zap, coq au vin!
Whap, pineapple upside-down cake!
254
00:16:13,275 --> 00:16:15,018
I didn't make that food.
255
00:16:15,193 --> 00:16:17,269
You promised me no witchcraft.
256
00:16:17,446 --> 00:16:20,115
You said you were just
going to be yourself but...
257
00:16:20,282 --> 00:16:23,034
You didn't? Well, who did?
258
00:16:23,202 --> 00:16:25,953
I would say your prime suspect
is Aunt Clara...
259
00:16:26,121 --> 00:16:28,529
unless your mother's
holding out on us.
260
00:16:28,707 --> 00:16:31,199
- What?
- She isn't a witch too, is she?
261
00:16:31,794 --> 00:16:33,585
Let's leave my mother out of this.
262
00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:36,506
No matter what you say, Darrin,
it was a delicious meal...
263
00:16:36,674 --> 00:16:38,252
and she hardly ate a mouthful.
264
00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:40,834
Now, what can I do
to get her to like me?
265
00:16:41,012 --> 00:16:43,088
Sam, let's just solve
one problem at a time.
266
00:16:43,264 --> 00:16:45,934
I'll have a little talk
with Aunt Clara after dinner.
267
00:16:46,101 --> 00:16:49,636
Now, Darrin. If you hurt her
feelings I'll never forgive you.
268
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:51,687
She was only trying to help.
269
00:16:51,857 --> 00:16:54,312
Well, I'll just ask her to stop helping.
270
00:16:54,484 --> 00:16:56,442
- Be tactful.
- Don't worry.
271
00:16:56,612 --> 00:17:00,906
I'll tactfully tell her that the position
of house witch is already filled.
272
00:17:02,618 --> 00:17:03,946
Come in.
273
00:17:07,707 --> 00:17:09,498
Am I disturbing anything, Aunt Clara?
274
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:11,541
Oh, not at all, not at all.
275
00:17:11,711 --> 00:17:15,127
No, I'm just polishing my doorknobs.
276
00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:20,217
It must be quite a job,
keeping those clean.
277
00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:23,047
Well, it keeps me
out of the pool halls.
278
00:17:26,059 --> 00:17:27,933
That was quite a dinner
you whipped up.
279
00:17:28,103 --> 00:17:30,676
Oh, I still know a trick or two.
280
00:17:31,523 --> 00:17:34,560
That's what I wanted to talk
to you about, Aunt Clara.
281
00:17:34,735 --> 00:17:39,777
You see, my mother and father,
they aren't used to...
282
00:17:39,949 --> 00:17:41,277
witchcraft.
283
00:17:41,492 --> 00:17:43,070
You see that?
284
00:17:43,244 --> 00:17:46,945
Now to a doorknob collector,
that's equivalent...
285
00:17:47,123 --> 00:17:48,582
to the Hope Diamond.
286
00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:52,913
It's not that we don't appreciate
your trying to help.
287
00:17:53,129 --> 00:17:55,003
Such a nice sparkle.
288
00:17:56,758 --> 00:17:59,878
Yeah, I wouldn't have even
brought it up at all except that...
289
00:18:00,053 --> 00:18:03,636
my mother and father
just don't understand.
290
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:07,889
Do you understand
what I'm saying, Aunt Clara?
291
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:11,474
Oh, it's nice of you to look
at my doorknob collection.
292
00:18:11,649 --> 00:18:15,433
Not many young people care
about that sort of thing nowadays.
293
00:18:31,294 --> 00:18:32,836
Come on, bag.
294
00:18:33,463 --> 00:18:35,503
We must go.
295
00:18:38,176 --> 00:18:41,759
Did you talk to Aunt Clara?
You didn't upset her, did you?
296
00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:45,513
- She didn't seem to be upset.
- Did she understand?
297
00:18:45,684 --> 00:18:47,476
It's hard to tell with Aunt Clara.
298
00:18:47,645 --> 00:18:49,886
I think I better go up and see her.
299
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:53,314
I thought I'd give you
a hand with the dish...
300
00:18:53,484 --> 00:18:55,275
Oh, you've already done them.
301
00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:58,568
Isn't there anything I can do?
302
00:18:58,739 --> 00:19:01,990
Nothing at all, Mom.
Sam has done it all.
303
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:05,738
You should get the Good Housekeeping
Seal of Approval, Samantha.
304
00:19:05,914 --> 00:19:09,034
Thank you. I'll be right back.
305
00:19:11,461 --> 00:19:13,121
Darrin, are you happy?
306
00:19:13,296 --> 00:19:16,084
What? Of course, Mom.
307
00:19:16,508 --> 00:19:20,458
Now, if there is anything you want
to tell me about, I'm always here.
308
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:22,464
I've never been happier in my life.
309
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,925
Any problem at all, no matter
how large or how small.
310
00:19:26,101 --> 00:19:29,471
Just because you're married doesn't
mean you can't come to your mother.
311
00:19:29,647 --> 00:19:31,936
Mom, I don't have any problems.
312
00:19:32,149 --> 00:19:34,522
Well, that's all right.
313
00:19:34,694 --> 00:19:37,529
If you don't want to tell me
about it, that's fine with me,
314
00:19:37,697 --> 00:19:40,449
- I'd cut off my right arm...
- Phyllis, leave the boy alone.
315
00:19:40,617 --> 00:19:43,653
Now, hasn't a mother the right
to ask if her son is happy?
316
00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:47,204
Who wouldn't be happy
married to a dream like Samantha?
317
00:19:47,374 --> 00:19:48,868
She's a lovely girl, all right.
318
00:19:49,042 --> 00:19:52,292
Why've you been trying to find fault
with her ever since we arrived?
319
00:19:52,462 --> 00:19:55,000
- That's not true.
- I mean, what do you want?
320
00:19:55,174 --> 00:19:57,546
She's beautiful, she's talented...
321
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,924
she's even-tempered
and she's a great cook.
322
00:20:00,095 --> 00:20:01,969
- I agree.
- Then there's no argument.
323
00:20:02,139 --> 00:20:04,013
- Then there's no argument.
- All right!
324
00:20:04,183 --> 00:20:06,935
If there's no argument,
why are you yelling at each other?
325
00:20:07,103 --> 00:20:09,772
- What'd you do to Aunt Clara?
- I didn't do anything.
326
00:20:09,939 --> 00:20:12,976
You must've said something insulting,
or she wouldn't have left.
327
00:20:13,151 --> 00:20:15,986
- Sam, do we have to...?
- Darrin, you promised to be tactful.
328
00:20:16,154 --> 00:20:19,440
- Must we discuss this in front of them?
- Yes.
329
00:20:19,866 --> 00:20:21,859
Aunt Clara is a guest
in this house too.
330
00:20:22,035 --> 00:20:24,870
You may not like it,
but she's my family.
331
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,156
Really, Samantha.
There's no need to...
332
00:20:27,332 --> 00:20:29,455
- take it out on Darrin.
- Shut up, Phyllis.
333
00:20:29,626 --> 00:20:32,296
I told you it's not my fault she left.
334
00:20:32,504 --> 00:20:35,873
Yes, it is. If you hadn't been annoyed
Aunt Clara made the dinner...
335
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,710
none of this would've happened.
336
00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:39,794
She cooked dinner?
337
00:20:40,012 --> 00:20:41,554
Yes, she did.
338
00:20:41,722 --> 00:20:44,676
You may as well know it right now,
I'm not a very good cook.
339
00:20:45,017 --> 00:20:46,927
You're not?
340
00:20:47,103 --> 00:20:48,431
No, I'm not.
341
00:20:48,605 --> 00:20:51,522
I can't make coq au vin
or pineapple upside-down cake...
342
00:20:51,691 --> 00:20:53,565
or any of those fancy dishes.
343
00:20:53,735 --> 00:20:56,522
- Samantha.
- It's no use, Darrin.
344
00:20:56,738 --> 00:20:59,194
I cannot pretend
to be something I'm not.
345
00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:01,655
And I won't stand here
and see Aunt Clara hurt.
346
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:03,369
I don't blame you.
347
00:21:03,537 --> 00:21:05,530
What did you say
to that nice old lady?
348
00:21:05,706 --> 00:21:08,244
- I didn't say any...
- You be quiet.
349
00:21:08,792 --> 00:21:13,004
- Go on, dear.
- Well, that's just about it.
350
00:21:13,297 --> 00:21:16,334
I wanted you to think I was the
perfect wife for Darrin, and...
351
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:19,214
Aunt Clara thought
she was helping me.
352
00:21:19,387 --> 00:21:22,471
The fact is, I'm not very good
at housekeeping yet.
353
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:24,840
If you like me any less
for that, I'm sorry...
354
00:21:25,018 --> 00:21:27,639
but you just have to accept me
as I am, faults and all.
355
00:21:28,146 --> 00:21:33,900
Samantha, you don't know
how happy you've made me.
356
00:21:34,069 --> 00:21:35,528
What are you crying about?
357
00:21:35,695 --> 00:21:37,522
What do you men
know about anything?
358
00:21:37,698 --> 00:21:40,485
What's going on here?
359
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:44,035
I didn't want you to be perfect, dear.
360
00:21:44,204 --> 00:21:46,281
Well then, why did you
act as if you did?
361
00:21:46,749 --> 00:21:49,666
Because I'm a silly old woman
who was afraid she'd be...
362
00:21:49,835 --> 00:21:52,457
pushed aside and forgotten.
363
00:21:52,630 --> 00:21:57,541
And you seem so self-sufficient
and so good at everything.
364
00:21:57,719 --> 00:22:00,257
I just thought I wouldn't
be needed anymore.
365
00:22:00,597 --> 00:22:02,720
Do you understand?
366
00:22:03,224 --> 00:22:05,383
Yes, I do.
367
00:22:05,727 --> 00:22:08,598
- I'll go find Aunt Clara.
- She's at the bus station.
368
00:22:08,772 --> 00:22:10,681
- How do you know?
- I asked her umbrella.
369
00:22:10,857 --> 00:22:14,024
Good thinking, I'll be
back in a few minutes.
370
00:22:14,194 --> 00:22:16,981
Well, I hope he finds her.
371
00:22:18,198 --> 00:22:20,238
You asked her what?
372
00:22:21,994 --> 00:22:26,490
Oh, a family joke.
I just have a hunch she's there.
373
00:22:28,042 --> 00:22:31,910
Maybe Aunt Clara is right.
You are a witch after all.
374
00:22:32,797 --> 00:22:34,754
I am.
375
00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:40,927
But don't spread it around.
376
00:22:42,057 --> 00:22:44,215
It'll be our secret.
377
00:22:50,607 --> 00:22:54,356
Oh, Darrin. You don't really think that
I bronzed your tennis racket, do you?
378
00:22:54,528 --> 00:22:58,111
Of course not, Mom,
I knew Pop was kidding.
379
00:22:58,449 --> 00:23:00,904
However, I did bronze your shoes.
380
00:23:01,077 --> 00:23:04,611
Your football shoes.
We're using them for bookends.
381
00:23:04,789 --> 00:23:07,909
- Would you girls like a little magic?
- Frank, for heaven's sake.
382
00:23:08,084 --> 00:23:09,958
We'll show you a little trick here.
383
00:23:10,128 --> 00:23:13,828
Aunt Clara, take a card out
of the deck. Just any card, go on.
384
00:23:14,048 --> 00:23:18,461
Take it out and then look at it,
put it back in. Don't let me see it now.
385
00:23:19,679 --> 00:23:22,550
Let me see. All right.
386
00:23:22,724 --> 00:23:24,100
- You got it.
- Yep.
387
00:23:24,267 --> 00:23:26,391
Put it back in, now.
388
00:23:26,562 --> 00:23:28,638
Anywhere, just anywhere. Right.
389
00:23:28,814 --> 00:23:31,056
Alrighty now, let's see.
390
00:23:31,275 --> 00:23:33,647
Your card is the...
391
00:23:34,570 --> 00:23:36,728
It's funny. It's always worked before.
392
00:23:36,906 --> 00:23:39,693
You'll find it in your
topcoat pocket.
393
00:23:44,956 --> 00:23:46,783
Now, how did you do that?
394
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:48,701
I'm a witch.
395
00:23:50,795 --> 00:23:53,713
Oh, well, now, I think I'll
go for my little constitutional.
396
00:23:53,882 --> 00:23:55,590
You mind if we walk along with you?
397
00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:58,174
Walk?
398
00:23:59,721 --> 00:24:02,343
Well, that might be nice for a change.
399
00:24:02,558 --> 00:24:05,891
You know, the next time we come
I must bring my sister Madge along.
400
00:24:06,061 --> 00:24:10,189
She and Clara would have a ball,
wouldn't they, Frank?
401
00:24:10,858 --> 00:24:12,233
Oh, dear.
402
00:24:13,611 --> 00:24:16,019
They really seem to have
hit it off, haven't they?
403
00:24:16,197 --> 00:24:19,032
They sure have. And they think
you're the greatest.
404
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,528
That's nice.
405
00:24:20,702 --> 00:24:23,537
Well, it's as I said. All you
had to be was yourself.
406
00:24:23,746 --> 00:24:25,704
You're right, darling.
407
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:31,462
Samantha.
408
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,130
You said I should be myself.
409
00:24:33,298 --> 00:24:35,291
I take it all back.
410
00:24:35,467 --> 00:24:39,417
Maybe my folks aren't ready
for the real you yet.
32747
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