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1
00:00:02,270 --> 00:00:05,203
I mean, this place is good, but can
I get a splash of tea in there?
2
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,422
It's all balls.
3
00:00:06,423 --> 00:00:08,591
Boba tea is an ancient
Taiwanese tradition
4
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,885
that dates all the way back
to the 1980s.
5
00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:13,012
Could you show it a little
bit of respect? Thanks.
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,889
They're not respecting me! I complained
7
00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,807
last time I was here that
they were over-balling me,
8
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,017
and now they're over-balling
me just to piss me off.
9
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,561
Complaining about extra boba.
10
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:22,313
This is why people hate our generation.
11
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,440
My boba tea ratio is off!
12
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,275
Nobody cares about your boba tea ratio.
13
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,027
- I care!
- You know what?
14
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,321
Maybe the boba tea artist
felt like that boba tea ratio,
15
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,292
and maybe you should respect them.
16
00:00:32,303 --> 00:00:33,949
You're just mad that I have
more boba balls than you.
17
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,452
- Benji?
- Shad! What's up, man?
18
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,079
- How are you?
- Great! Good to see you, dude.
19
00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,872
Same, dude. You got a lot
of balls there, huh?
20
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,749
- Yeah, they over-ball me here.
- Yeah, they do that.
21
00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,417
- It's passive-aggressive.
- Who is this guy?
22
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,183
Oh, this is Shad.
23
00:00:45,194 --> 00:00:47,213
- Hey, what's up?
- He was my friend in high school.
24
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,042
I didn't know you had a friend
in high school!
25
00:00:49,053 --> 00:00:51,842
- Yeah, I had, like, three.
- Benji and I, we were kind of like
26
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,527
the Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
of high school theater.
27
00:00:53,538 --> 00:00:54,595
- Shad!
- We were!
28
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,596
- What?!
- But this guy...
29
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,181
This guy was always the star.
30
00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,808
They even changed "My Fair Lady"
31
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,060
to "My Fair Gentleman"
just so he could play the lead.
32
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,566
Well, there's never enough parts
for guys, so that's good.
33
00:01:03,577 --> 00:01:05,346
Oh, dude! Speaking of
our old high school,
34
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,358
I'm actually directing
"Romeo and Juliet" there,
35
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:10,194
but I have to bail, because I
just booked a part on "Ballers."
36
00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,737
- Oh, cool, man.
- It's pretty dope.
37
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,698
This is crazy, but I...
It's very short notice.
38
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,199
Do you think you could cover for me?
39
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,034
Yes, I could cover! Oh. Oh.
40
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:19,495
- Esther! Get your own Shad.
- Sorry.
41
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,722
Dramatic teens are my bread and butter.
I'm sorry.
42
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,374
Bread and cheese
is your bread and butter.
43
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,467
Both can be true.
44
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:27,753
Um, Shad, is it OK if my friend Esther
45
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,832
joins me on this directing venture?
46
00:01:29,843 --> 00:01:31,465
Yeah, that... that work,
I really don't care.
47
00:01:31,476 --> 00:01:33,477
As long as you cover for me,
you can bring whoever you want.
48
00:01:33,488 --> 00:01:35,344
Hey, just, uh... E-mail me, all right?
49
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,031
- I'll shoot you the deets, everything.
- All right, cool, man. Thank you.
50
00:01:38,042 --> 00:01:40,099
You like that?
It's my new business card.
51
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,892
It's got my headshot on front,
IMDb on back.
52
00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,128
I'm familiar with the headshot medium.
Thank you.
53
00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:46,022
- All right, e-mail me, all right?
- All right, cool.
54
00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,398
- Nice to see you, man.
- Same!
55
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:49,692
He was a corpse
on "Law & Order"?
56
00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:53,113
Lucky! That's my dream
entry-level acting job.
57
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:56,741
Good, huh?
58
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:57,743
Yeah.
59
00:01:57,754 --> 00:02:01,410
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
60
00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:03,998
Well, that's cool that you decided
61
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:05,833
to dress like a teen mom
Christmas shopping
62
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,626
at Dollar Tree
for your first day at work.
63
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:11,631
Key word: "teen."
They're gonna relate to me.
64
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,858
Ugh. I'm getting high school flashbacks.
65
00:02:13,869 --> 00:02:15,593
One time, I was walking up to school,
66
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,638
and Lindsay Pierce asked me
if I wanted a cigarette.
67
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,931
Needless to say, I un-friended her ass
68
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,350
before I got to homeroom.
69
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,808
There were, like, ten Lindsays in my
school. None of them would talk to me.
70
00:02:24,819 --> 00:02:27,843
Ey-O! Substitute teacher coming through!
71
00:02:27,854 --> 00:02:29,273
Sir, I don't know if anyone told you,
72
00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:32,234
but a gorilla left his pubes
on your head.
73
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,195
Oh, come on. Don't be like that.
74
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:36,614
Hey, gorillas are beautiful,
majestic creatures!
75
00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,991
Hey! Shut your degenerate ass up.
76
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,326
It's not his fault he's ugly!
77
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,789
Gorillas don't even have pubes.
Their fur is consistent.
78
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:47,208
Benji, don't let that kid
get to you, OK?
79
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,210
Boys like that,
they peak in high school.
80
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:52,213
You haven't even reached your peak yet.
81
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:53,839
You may never peak.
82
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,174
You ready?
83
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,385
Let's do this!
84
00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,054
- Hello, actors!
- Hello!
85
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,639
- Yes?
- Sir, I'm not an actor.
86
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,224
I'm Kevin. I'm your technician.
87
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,685
Wonderful, Kevin. Get me a Snapple.
88
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,062
Hi, everyone. I am Benji.
89
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,730
I am so excited to be here.
90
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,233
Um... I'm actually a former student.
91
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:15,319
Some of you might recognize me,
or maybe you've heard of me
92
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:19,907
from the critically acclaimed
production of "The Wizard of Oz,"
93
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:22,284
where I played the Wizard
and the Cowardly Lion.
94
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:24,204
I can get dressed
and undressed really fast.
95
00:03:25,403 --> 00:03:27,905
Is that a weird thing to tell
a room full of children?
96
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:31,085
It wasn't... You guys got
what I meant, right?
97
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:33,045
- What?
- Anyways...
98
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,048
I'm Esther,
and you can call me "Estella,"
99
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,467
'cause that's the version
of my name I always wanted.
100
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,680
Why? Because once we walk
through those doors,
101
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:45,808
we're anyone we want to be!
102
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,102
That's what we're bringin'.
103
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,479
Now, did someone here
order some journals
104
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,089
with a side of self-discovery?
105
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:53,673
What is it with you and the journaling?
106
00:03:53,684 --> 00:03:55,812
Are you trying to run a sober
living house or something?
107
00:03:55,823 --> 00:03:57,778
In my high school drama class,
we journaled,
108
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,447
because it allowed us to dive deeper
109
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,283
into ourselves and our characters.
110
00:04:02,474 --> 00:04:04,493
Every role she got
in high school had one line.
111
00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,412
But I knew their psychology.
112
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:09,623
Elegant Partygoer was elegant.
She went to parties.
113
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:14,044
She entered on page 14. She exited
stage right, interesting choice.
114
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:16,380
All right, now, don't be shy.
You can write
115
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,424
your deepest, darkest secrets
in these journals,
116
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,177
because no one is gonna read
them, except for me.
117
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,387
Can I have the purple glittery one?
118
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:26,056
Oh, um... That one's actually mine.
119
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,477
But... I want you to have it.
120
00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:34,040
All right, we're gonna start
with a game called "Zip Zap Zop."
121
00:04:34,051 --> 00:04:35,941
It's a little silly,
but we're just trying
122
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,568
to warm up our bodies and our minds.
123
00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,462
Oh, good. There you are. Um...
Hey, I just wanted to apologize.
124
00:04:40,473 --> 00:04:43,115
I'm sorry. We're doing
a theatre exercise.
125
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,978
Detention's probably down the hall.
126
00:04:44,989 --> 00:04:47,313
I'm the lead. Romeo.
127
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,121
Your Snapple, sir.
128
00:04:50,132 --> 00:04:52,299
Techy Kev, is that guy really
the lead of the play?
129
00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:53,623
Affirmative, sir. That's Logan.
130
00:04:53,634 --> 00:04:55,878
Look, earlier, when I
called you "Gorilla Pubes,"
131
00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:59,298
that was body-shaming,
and that is not OK.
132
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,175
- Thank you.
- And in a messed-up society
133
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,511
that places so much value on appearance,
134
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,637
I can't imagine
what you go through every day.
135
00:05:06,648 --> 00:05:08,130
OK, that's enough. Thank you.
136
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,391
Uh, we're gonna start the game.
137
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,477
Cool? I'll start.
138
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,604
- Zip!
- Uh... Zap!
139
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,878
Great job. Zop!
140
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,066
Zi... uh, I'm sorry.
141
00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,443
Uh, I don't think clapping at my peers
142
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,800
is really gonna help me.
143
00:05:20,811 --> 00:05:22,655
Uh, my character has to commit suicide,
144
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,615
so... think I'm just gonna go meditate.
145
00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:26,075
Logan, come on, man!
146
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,202
I can teach you stuff
about acting, all right?
147
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:31,080
I was a SoundCloud
Artist to Watch in 2015.
148
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,581
Yeah, well, I'm repped by Gersh.
149
00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,583
Is that what it's about?
I'm a stand-up comedian.
150
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,377
- A professional.
- It's impressive.
151
00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:40,506
Guess what else is impressive?
Daniel Tosh follows me on Twitter.
152
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,467
Yeah, maybe I should DM him
and see if he's heard of you.
153
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,427
You know what?
Are we allowed cell phones?
154
00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,597
I don't think so. And I'm not
impressed by Daniel Tosh, OK?
155
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,725
I'm not a frat guy in 2003.
156
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,949
Not to mention, if we're playing
the name-dropping game,
157
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,605
I'm friends with Pauly Shore.
Full-blown friends.
158
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,440
I know his Hotmail address.
159
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,317
What's Hotmail?
160
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,888
Dude, nobody knows who that guy is.
161
00:06:03,131 --> 00:06:05,465
Techy Kev, you know
who Pauly Shore is, right?
162
00:06:05,476 --> 00:06:07,517
Affirmative. He's one of
the "Stranger Things" kids.
163
00:06:07,528 --> 00:06:09,911
- Right?
- Zip!
164
00:06:12,153 --> 00:06:15,898
Hey, can I borrow a quarter?
It's sort of an emergency.
165
00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,918
Oh, my God. Yes, of course.
166
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,421
Thank you for feeling
safe enough to ask me.
167
00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,630
- Of course.
- Here you go.
168
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,508
Oh, I've never used a tampon. I use...
169
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:25,843
pads.
170
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,261
Oh, I have one of those, too.
171
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:29,019
Thanks! You are, like,
such a cool grown-up!
172
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,086
- Really?
- Yeah!
173
00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:32,172
Like the coolest grown-up I've ever met.
174
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:36,103
Oh, my God! I'm, like, barely
a grown-up, just so you know.
175
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,813
I'm so glad Mr. Shad's gone.
176
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,815
- Same.
- OK, I gotta go. Thanks!
177
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,734
I lost them. They're all meditating.
178
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,375
When I was a kid,
I stared off into space,
179
00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:44,927
and they wanted to put me on medicine.
180
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,156
I found her, Benji.
181
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,657
She's the wing for me
to be the wind beneath.
182
00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,367
- That girl?
- Yeah.
183
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,662
Stop trying to befriend 12-year-old
girls. You're an adult.
184
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:57,626
Ow! It's like the third time I've
been slapped in this hallway.
185
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,379
This was so much fun.
I stayed up all night.
186
00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:03,672
- I couldn't stop.
- Oh, my God.
187
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,549
You journaled as your character?
188
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:09,094
She hid in a dead horse
to escape an evil friar?
189
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,181
That is such a cool
backstory for Wench Three.
190
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:13,932
Well, nobody is born a wench.
191
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,934
That's so true. It makes me wonder,
192
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,645
where does Jane end
and Wench three begin?
193
00:07:18,656 --> 00:07:20,900
You know, when my high school
did "Fiddler on the Roof,"
194
00:07:20,911 --> 00:07:22,954
I would have dreams as Jew Number Four.
195
00:07:22,965 --> 00:07:26,195
All right, everybody, listen up.
We're gonna start with the end
196
00:07:26,206 --> 00:07:27,916
of Act Two, Scene Two.
197
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,745
What satisfaction canst
thou have tonight?
198
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,623
- The exchange of thy love's faithful vow...
- Stop! Stop!
199
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,083
Logan, I can't hear you.
200
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:41,126
We got the senior citizens
in the back row, so...
201
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,920
Projection! Thank you.
202
00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:46,382
Psst. Doesn't your eye
keep going to Wench Three?
203
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,300
The camera loves her.
204
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,928
- There's no camera.
- What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?
205
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:54,056
- Exchange of thy love's faithful vows...
- Logan!
206
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,558
I love what you're doing,
but... How do I put this?
207
00:07:56,559 --> 00:08:00,729
I'm 86 years old. I was a propeller
engineer in the Korean War.
208
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:04,983
Bad hearing, back row, maybe my last
day on Earth, and I can't hear ya.
209
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,778
The exchange
of thy love's faithful vows...
210
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,948
Logan! Logan! Does "loud" mean "angry"?
211
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:14,868
Tulips! Huh! Puppies! Huh!
You see that? Loud, not angry.
212
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,704
Dude, I know how to project.
213
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,455
Think, um... yeah, last I checked,
214
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,416
I'm the director,
and you've got to respect me.
215
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,667
Do you respect you?
216
00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:23,752
That's not the point.
217
00:08:23,753 --> 00:08:25,671
The point is, is I can't hear you.
218
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,673
You know, my therapist says
insecurities are common
219
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:30,384
in people who weren't breast-fed.
I'm guessing you weren't.
220
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:32,636
I didn't say anything!
221
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:35,556
I rejected the breast.
I preferred formula.
222
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,349
Did your mom freeze her breast milk?
'Cause I'll take it.
223
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,600
I mean, it's good for you.
224
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,686
- Olympians drink it.
- This is inappropriate!
225
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,771
You're not drinking
my mom's breast milk!
226
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,441
We're going to the principal's
office right now! Let's go!
227
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,359
Take that off. You don't
deserve to wear it.
228
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,236
- Real face-to-face nuisance.
- Guys...
229
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:53,782
Not every baby can latch, OK?
And for the record,
230
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:56,785
I did easily, and I was
breast-fed until I was four.
231
00:08:56,786 --> 00:09:00,289
And that is true, and it is
both beautiful and problematic.
232
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,708
OK, let's plow forward.
233
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,084
But how? We don't have Logan.
234
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:06,253
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God.
235
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,088
I've always wanted a reason to say this.
236
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:11,009
The show must go on!
237
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,220
"Oh, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
238
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,291
- What satisfaction canst thou have...
- Stop!
239
00:09:17,302 --> 00:09:20,017
- Something's not working.
- Well, maybe 'cause you're reading it.
240
00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,435
With no energy or eye contact.
241
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:22,478
No, no. That's not it.
242
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,146
- No?
- No, no, no.
243
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,690
Let's try something. Stacie,
take a seat for a second.
244
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,859
I'll take that.
245
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,738
- Take a seat, please.
- OK.
246
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,364
What are we thinkin' here?
247
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,119
Jane.
248
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,580
Why don't you try reading Juliet?
249
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:43,582
- What?
- Yeah, why not!
250
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,210
Let's try it.
251
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,840
"The exchange of thy love's
faithful vow for mine."
252
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,969
"I gave thee mine
before thou did this..."
253
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,097
- Wow.
- "...request it?"
254
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,099
Did you see that?
255
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,685
- You're our new Juliet.
- Wait, what?!
256
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,854
You are what this play was missing.
257
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,523
I'm... I'm sorry, like, 'scuse me?
258
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,899
Oh, Stacie, congratulations.
259
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,110
You're gonna be an amazing Wench Three.
260
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,267
Uh, duh-no. You can't do this.
We open on Thursday.
261
00:10:13,278 --> 00:10:15,493
Oh, you'll master Wench Three
by then. There's no lines.
262
00:10:15,504 --> 00:10:17,595
But my grandparents
are driving in from Arizona!
263
00:10:17,606 --> 00:10:19,165
I don't know what you want
me to do here.
264
00:10:19,176 --> 00:10:21,078
I already said the show must go on.
265
00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:23,039
Jane, everybody!
266
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,360
Well, thank you, Benji, for
bringing that to our attention.
267
00:10:34,371 --> 00:10:37,302
Although, some of those breast feeding
details were a little bit graphic.
268
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,263
Just wanted you to have all the info.
269
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:42,224
Logan, I expect more of you.
270
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,809
What have you got to say for yourself?
271
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,894
Yeah, Logan. I'd like to know
as well. Speak up.
272
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,856
I'm sorry, Mr. Benji.
273
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,732
I've just been having
a really weird day,
274
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:55,821
because it's the anniversary
of my parents' divorce.
275
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,990
A divorce that was totally my fault.
276
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:58,991
It wasn't your fault.
277
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,492
Almost every divorce
278
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,536
my mom has is my fault.
279
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,913
Everybody leaves me. Shad left me,
280
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,958
- and now this guy is yelling at me.
- Listen.
281
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,961
Why don't you give us a moment, OK?
282
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,548
Thank you.
283
00:11:19,173 --> 00:11:20,971
You know every time
one of these kids cries,
284
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,765
I gotta fill out a form?
285
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:27,561
Logan. Logan. I'm so sorry.
286
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,855
I had no idea you were
dealing with all that.
287
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,150
If you ever want to talk, I had a
really hard time in high school, too.
288
00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,776
- I'm here.
- No, it's just...
289
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:37,112
my dad, and...
290
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,073
I drive people away, and...
291
00:11:40,074 --> 00:11:41,783
and...
292
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,535
aaand scene!
293
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,984
See? I'm an amazing actor.
294
00:11:45,995 --> 00:11:47,998
Was I projecting enough
for you, or was that...?
295
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:50,167
- Or should I still speak up?
- I knew you were lying.
296
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,585
I don't know. I think I had
you going, there, buddy.
297
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,462
- I was acting, dude!
- Oh! Oh, gotcha.
298
00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,756
I was acting like I believed you!
And scene!
299
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:57,530
You don't "scene" me! I "scene" you!
300
00:11:58,436 --> 00:12:02,499
"So... loving...
j-jealous of his liberty."
301
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:06,934
Yes. And then Romeo says
whatever, and great job.
302
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,019
OK, everyone's dismissed,
303
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,938
except for Jane.
Why don't you grab a snack?
304
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,440
You're gonna need the fuel.
305
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,152
Hey, so I just wanted to let you know
306
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,696
I had to recast Juliet,
and it's Jane now.
307
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,865
OK, yeah, I don't care about Jane.
Logan's my problem.
308
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:23,670
He's good-looking, and he can fake-cry.
309
00:12:23,681 --> 00:12:25,369
Fake-crying should be
only for ugly people
310
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,258
- who actually need the attention.
- I agree.
311
00:12:27,269 --> 00:12:28,705
That kid's an emotional terrorist.
312
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,958
- Nobody needs him!
- Benji, settle down.
313
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:32,376
The drama kids love Logan.
314
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,002
I'm catching up on journals.
315
00:12:34,013 --> 00:12:35,796
Is it legal that you read
their journals?
316
00:12:35,797 --> 00:12:37,839
Did you sign the same waiver I did?
317
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,027
I didn't sign that, no.
I have a thing against waivers.
318
00:12:40,038 --> 00:12:41,949
Oh, yeah, so then, yeah,
you can probably read.
319
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,387
So, Emma K wrote,
320
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,014
"I watched a movie with Logan
last night at his house."
321
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,225
We dry scissored, and then
walked to Scooter Burger.
322
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:51,353
"It was super romantic."
323
00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:52,479
Teen love.
324
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,203
- So they walked to Scooter Burger?
- Yeah.
325
00:12:54,214 --> 00:12:55,357
But that doesn't make sense.
326
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,206
There's no fast food allowed
in Beverly Hills.
327
00:12:57,217 --> 00:12:59,444
- 'Scue me?
- No fast food allowed in Beverly Hills.
328
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,738
This is the first time I've
ever felt bad for rich kids.
329
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,865
He lives by a Scooter Burger,
he's out of district.
330
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,742
I might have to report him.
331
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:07,995
It's kind of my responsibility
as a freelance, part-time,
332
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,777
unpaid substitute teacher
for an after-school club.
333
00:13:10,788 --> 00:13:13,339
- Think I gotta follow him home.
- No, no, no, no, no, Benji.
334
00:13:13,350 --> 00:13:14,793
That's a bad idea.
335
00:13:19,486 --> 00:13:21,814
Hey, man, how come
you didn't want to eat inside?
336
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,263
So, I'm happy we're hanging out.
337
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:27,597
Just want to put that out there.
338
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,808
- OK.
- But also, full disclosure,
339
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,394
we're on a stakeout, and I need you here
in case things escalate.
340
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,647
Come on, man! It...
You told me you missed me!
341
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,358
I do miss you! This is a "two
birds, one stone" situation.
342
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:40,068
I needed a partner in my stakeout,
343
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,237
and I love you.
344
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,947
Look, do you see that...
that kid over there?
345
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:45,115
Yes.
346
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,617
He's been bullying me at school.
347
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,496
I'm so s..., I... I tried.
348
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,123
You're getting bullied by a child?
349
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:55,939
I mean... childhood
is a social construct.
350
00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:57,878
We don't know when it starts
or ends, really.
351
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,963
All right, bud. I am gonna go ahead
352
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,549
and pull the ripcord on this situation.
I'm calling a Lyft.
353
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,761
I can't be out here stalking children.
I'm an uncle!
354
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,888
Jeff, stop being so weird, OK?
355
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:09,890
All we have to do
is follow this kid home.
356
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,559
Do you hear yourself?
357
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,561
Oh, my God. He's leaving.
358
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,022
Jane?
359
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,273
Jane!
360
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,524
Yes?
361
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,359
Onstage, please.
362
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,278
A-five, six, seven, eight!
363
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,031
I'm Romeo! Come find me!
364
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,283
And you're wearing a blindfold, too?
365
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,534
Hundred percent.
366
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,328
I don't see how this is gonna help.
367
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,914
Jane, if you can
walk the stage blindfolded,
368
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,666
think about how easy that's
gonna be on show night.
369
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:37,751
Whatever you say.
370
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,295
Over here! Find me, Juliet!
371
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,006
"There rust and yet me..."
372
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:45,926
Sorry. "Let me die."
373
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,135
I've got an idea.
374
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,347
Why don't we try adding an "ouch"?
375
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,099
- "Ouch?"
- "Ouch!"
376
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,975
- "Ouch!"
- Nope. Do it again.
377
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,937
- Romeo? Romeo?
- Hark! Hark! Hark! Hark!
378
00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,897
- Find me! Pliet!
- Romeo! Romeo!
379
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,357
- "Ouch!"
- "Ouch!"
380
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,067
- "Ouch!"
- "Ouch!"
381
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,778
I'm sorry. I just can't get this.
382
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:07,155
- Make haste!
- Romeo! Ugh! Ouch!
383
00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:10,826
Yes, Jane, yes! That's the
"ouch" I'm looking for!
384
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,369
I knew I'd get it out of you.
385
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:13,871
Can I go to the nurse?
386
00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,040
Benji, Benji, Benji!
387
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,000
Hey, what's up? I have great news.
388
00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,253
I did some light
child stalking yesterday,
389
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,921
and I was right about Logan.
390
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,757
- He does live outside of district.
- Benji, you shouldn't stalk Logan.
391
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,135
He's a high school kid. Hey...
392
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:30,637
Do you know Jane's
class schedule, locker combo,
393
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,390
or home address? Can't find her.
394
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:35,461
Hey, Midriff. You seen Jane?
395
00:15:35,472 --> 00:15:36,930
- Psh.
- Yeah, if I tell the school,
396
00:15:36,941 --> 00:15:39,512
Logan for sure gets kicked out,
but I wanna be the bigger person,
397
00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:42,023
so I'm just gonna blackmail him
so he pretends to respect me.
398
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,859
Blackmail, cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
399
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,027
Hey, can you give me one second? Jane!
400
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,404
Where are you?!
401
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,244
Logan. I can't believe this
is our last time hanging out.
402
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,871
I've had so much fun with you.
403
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:58,248
- Thanks.
- But just, um, one last note,
404
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,576
- before your big show?
- Yeah.
405
00:15:59,587 --> 00:16:01,293
Don't cross the line,
or I'll destroy you.
406
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,086
Oh! You feelin' tough?
407
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,797
You know what? I would
just play it cool, dude.
408
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,419
But I... I don't know.
409
00:16:07,430 --> 00:16:10,635
Maybe you'll end up in the Reseda
High production of "The Lion King."
410
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,010
What do you think
their felt budget's like?
411
00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,138
Probably not good!
412
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,681
Come on, man. You wouldn't say anything.
413
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,850
- I wouldn't?
- They'd kick me out of school.
414
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:20,228
I'm so sorry. I...
415
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:22,939
- I was just overcompensating because...
- Oh, is this...?
416
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,232
Is this, are you going to
start crying again?
417
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,010
- What?
- I know all your moves.
418
00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,737
Just...
don't disrespect me,
419
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:31,518
and things should be
muy bueno between us.
420
00:16:31,529 --> 00:16:33,658
Are you doing Pacino from "Scarface"?
421
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:36,953
Yeah.
Have a fun time tonight.
422
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,081
That last one was Brando. I got range.
423
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,212
- Hi!
- Can I help you?
424
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,880
You must be Jane's mom. I'm Esther.
425
00:16:46,881 --> 00:16:48,590
I'm her director-slash-best-friend,
426
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,258
and I don't want to alarm you,
427
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,260
but Jane is 30 minutes late
for the play,
428
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,179
and I know how much this means to her.
429
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,598
I think it's safe to say she's
been murdered or kidnapped.
430
00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:00,185
She's here. I... I'm sorry, but she's
not interested in doing the play.
431
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:03,104
Huh. OK. I see what's going on here.
432
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:05,023
My parents held me back, too.
Let me guess...
433
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:08,485
You gave up on your dreams,
and you took the easy road.
434
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,320
Married a rich guy, settled down.
435
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,698
I'm the co-chairman
of Sony Entertainment.
436
00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,328
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
437
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,538
I have a headshot
and resume in my trunk.
438
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,124
If you... would... just...
First, can you hand over Jane?
439
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,794
Esther! Stop! She's telling the truth!
440
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:27,170
I don't want to do the play!
441
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,588
You made it weird!
442
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:31,091
Plus, Stacie and the whole cast
hate me now.
443
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,551
I eat lunch alone.
444
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,177
I'll eat lunch with you, Silly-Head!
445
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:38,306
I don't want to eat with you!
Just leave me alone!
446
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,017
Uh, what?
447
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:44,563
Not everyone's cut out for show biz.
448
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,357
Should we get a lunch
on the books, or, uh...?
449
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,709
SoulCycle? Oh.
450
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:52,904
OK...
451
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:57,118
I'm sorry. Someone's defaced your photo.
452
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:00,287
You're finally breastfeeding!
453
00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:01,841
Hilarious.
454
00:18:01,852 --> 00:18:03,665
But if you really wanted
this joke to land,
455
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,750
you should have used an orangutan,
456
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:08,169
'cause they're the primate
champions of breastfeeding.
457
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,963
- Look it up.
- Don't worry.
458
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,173
We're gonna find out who did this.
459
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,051
Oh, I think I know who did it.
460
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,220
It wasn't me, I swear!
461
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,140
But it's so funny! And you're so funny!
462
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:23,143
Speaking of "funny,"
you know what's hilarious?
463
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:26,563
Logan lives in Reseda.
464
00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:28,023
Sorry, bud. I didn't want to do it,
465
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:29,858
but you kind of forced my hand.
466
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,402
He lives out of district.
Out of district.
467
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,903
But... I'm sorry.
468
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:36,406
After my dad died, we just...
469
00:18:36,407 --> 00:18:38,576
couldn't afford to stay
in Beverly Hills anymore.
470
00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,120
I was just too embarrassed
to tell everyone.
471
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,289
Moving performance.
472
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,792
But I think your story's not adding up.
473
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,212
You know, 'cause yesterday, it
was that your dad left your mom,
474
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,423
and now he's dead, and...
How does a corpse
475
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,383
leave your mom? You know what I mean?
476
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:58,178
He left my mom,
and five years later, he died.
477
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,477
This is, uh...
478
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,104
It's gonna be hard for me
to come back from.
479
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,982
Everyone, don't worry.
480
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,985
Logan's gonna continue
to attend this school.
481
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,322
We make exceptions all the time.
482
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,698
Thank you.
483
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,167
Everyone!
484
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,329
Okay, so, like,
if we didn't have a Juliet,
485
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,747
how bad would that be?
486
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,003
OK, so, bad. Um, Stacie?
487
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,838
Where is my sweet Stacie?
488
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:35,382
She quit two days ago.
489
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,300
OK, now what?
490
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:39,344
You're gonna play Juliet, right, ma'am?
491
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,470
I... I couldn't.
492
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:41,805
We all saw this coming.
493
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,257
If you insist, I'll do it.
494
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,267
You guys are good kids.
495
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,062
Oh, happy dagger!
496
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:52,232
This is thy sheath.
There rust, and let me die.
497
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,540
Her actual dying is a little much,
498
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,710
but as a corpse,
I think she's gonna nail it.
499
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:22,303
Techy Kevin, did you make the
photo of me suckling a gorilla?
500
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,972
Affirmative, sir.
501
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,098
Why?
502
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,850
Um, sir, I don't respect you.
503
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,309
Was it something I did, or...?
504
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,894
No, just you.
505
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,012
I get that.
506
00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:43,740
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
39157
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