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Subtitle by peritta
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Where do you think
you're going, Danny Zuko?
3
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,230
It fits perfectly.
Don't you like it?
4
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:15,630
Ew. Why is it squeaking?
5
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:18,460
It's new.
I just need to wear it in.
6
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:19,960
You just need
to wear it indoors.
7
00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:22,260
Or are you going
to a drive-in movie?
8
00:00:22,330 --> 00:00:23,760
-[chuckling]
I'm going to the snooker.
9
00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:26,160
With your father.
-Is that tonight?
10
00:00:26,230 --> 00:00:27,800
You'll be okay.
You've got Debs to...
11
00:00:27,860 --> 00:00:30,960
lick biscuits with.
-I only like the biscuit.
12
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,460
She loves the cream.
It's perfect!
13
00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:34,660
[Ring]
14
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,860
[Ring]
15
00:00:36,930 --> 00:00:38,130
Mum?
16
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,100
I can't talk. I'm just
cleaning an oven.
17
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,030
Feels weird,
you doing something
18
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,460
with my dad,
without me.
19
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:46,030
Would you prefer a girlfriend
who loves snooker?
20
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:48,260
Such a mythical creature
does not exist.
21
00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:50,260
And, no, of course not.
You make up for it
22
00:00:50,330 --> 00:00:51,960
in so many other ways.
23
00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:55,660
Like stopping you wearing
horrible, squeaky jackets?
24
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:57,300
I'm keeping it.
25
00:00:57,360 --> 00:00:59,260
Sorry can't hear you.
26
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:02,660
-Lauren, uh, that was Mum,
27
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:06,660
just calling to say she was --
and I quote -- "tickety-boo!"
28
00:01:06,730 --> 00:01:08,500
What's happened?
Is she okay?
29
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,830
Not sure. She said she's
had two weird phone calls
30
00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:13,330
from someone
calling themselves
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00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,430
[whispering]
McCready.
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00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:19,330
[Squeak]
Who's McCready?
33
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,730
-McCready.
34
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,730
He was the ghost that
used to haunt our house.
35
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,430
Thank you. That clears
that up, then.
36
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,430
[Bagpipes playing]
-I first saw him when I was 12.
37
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,400
He was tall,
with fire-red eyes,
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00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,230
and dressed like
an old highland warrior.
39
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,500
Aaaah!
40
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,700
She was doing a school project
on highland warriors.
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00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,900
I know, he was just a bad dream.
-You didn't think so,
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00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,060
at the time.
She was obsessed.
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00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:40,900
She kept a diary about him.
44
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,400
None of us were allowed to say
his name five times.
45
00:01:43,460 --> 00:01:44,730
-So no one could
summon him
46
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,660
and his demonic powers
of evil.
47
00:01:46,730 --> 00:01:48,760
McCready, McCready.
48
00:01:48,830 --> 00:01:50,360
Ed, you should never
joke about with the occult.
49
00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:51,760
McCready.
-No.
50
00:01:51,830 --> 00:01:55,760
McCready, McCready!
-Stop!
51
00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:58,660
Die, ya English tart!
Die!
52
00:01:58,730 --> 00:02:00,230
Overheard.
Couldn't resist.
53
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:03,400
Just popped round to see why
Lauren's sister popped round.
54
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:04,800
Oh,
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00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:07,260
Eddie bear,
that jacket.
56
00:02:07,330 --> 00:02:08,960
[Squeak]
57
00:02:09,030 --> 00:02:10,230
[whispering] Still think
you look like a Grease reject.
58
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:13,830
-Well, I've certainly
got chills multiplying
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00:02:13,900 --> 00:02:16,730
and I could definitely
lose control.
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00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,030
That's far enough, Lydia.
You know the rules.
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00:02:21,660 --> 00:02:23,730
[Squeak]
-Hiss.
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00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:24,960
[Cackling]
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00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,500
Do you think we
should go to Mum's?
64
00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,260
Why, because of this
McCready thing?
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00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:31,130
Well, that, and she will
have better biscuits.
66
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,600
Biccies?
-Uh-huh.
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00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:34,100
Biccies!
68
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,500
Oh, yeah.
Do the biccy dance.
69
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,460
Do the biccy dance!
70
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:41,630
Biccies!
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00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,730
Do the biccy dance!
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00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,400
[Scat singing]
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00:02:57,730 --> 00:03:01,500
The Powell family!
Study their faces.
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00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:06,700
The goofy son;
the mother's hairy lip;
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00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,460
Mr. Powell's smug,
git face.
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00:03:09,530 --> 00:03:12,730
Hate these faces,
Charlie, hate them.
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00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,360
-Mum says you take bowling
way too seriously.
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00:03:15,430 --> 00:03:16,900
Ah, what does she expect?
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00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:20,000
After she banned you
from "dangerous" football.
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00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,530
No!
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00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:25,400
[Laughing]You're rubbish!
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00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:27,130
[Laughing]
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00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,130
Crow-in-face!
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00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:30,330
[gasping] Crow.
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00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,530
-It's okay, Charlie,
there are no crows in here.
86
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:37,700
Your mum doesn't understand
that men die without sport.
87
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,630
Plus, she'll never know
the pain that was
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00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:43,000
missing out to the Powells
last time.
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00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,000
But it's our turn:
90
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,330
you; me;
91
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,460
and our star player, Robbie.
Do you know why?
92
00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:49,830
'Cause, two days ago,
93
00:03:49,900 --> 00:03:52,460
Mr. Powell
cut his hand, shaving.
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00:03:52,530 --> 00:03:54,360
This is our chance.
95
00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:56,300
"The ladder of success
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00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:59,330
is best climbed
on the rungs of opportunity."
97
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,360
Do you know who said that?
-Fireman Sam?
98
00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:04,800
No, you wally.
99
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,530
Joey Barton.
100
00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:08,060
[Ring]
101
00:04:08,130 --> 00:04:11,300
Jane! Hi!
102
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,460
How's Robbie? Did he sleep well?
Is he raring to g--
103
00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:16,800
Pardon?
104
00:04:16,860 --> 00:04:18,760
Appendicitis?
105
00:04:18,830 --> 00:04:21,060
Yeah, but he can still
play tonight --
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00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:23,300
Well, how burst is it?!
107
00:04:26,460 --> 00:04:28,430
I wish you'd have let me
answer the phone.
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00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:30,260
I'd have put him in his place.
-Well, you were too busy,
109
00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:32,730
deciding on your best
snooker trousers.
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00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,860
-Yes, well, we shall be
sitting down for a good while
111
00:04:34,930 --> 00:04:36,430
and comfort is paramount.
112
00:04:36,500 --> 00:04:38,260
Now, are you sure
you're going to be okay?
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00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:41,230
I'll be fine. I've got my two
grownup daughters with me.
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00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:42,960
[Giggling, rattling]
Deborah, Lauren!
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00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:44,560
You'd better not be
rearranging my badgers.
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00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:47,030
[Cackle]
-Go on, get to your snooker.
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00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:49,260
Which, yes, I shall
remember to record.
118
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,860
And will you remember
to lock the shed door and that
119
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:53,430
my chap might be calling about
the computer being serviced,
120
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:54,900
and could you give the garden
a drink with the hosepipe?
121
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,460
Yes, I'll do it all.
122
00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:59,930
As long as Lauren's ghost
hasn't dragged me to hell.
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00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:02,000
You'll be fine, Emma.
And Lauren will know what to do,
124
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,260
should the walls
start bleeding
125
00:05:03,330 --> 00:05:06,030
or if a poltergeist starts
throwing plates about.
126
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,330
Oh, we don't need
a poltergeist for that.
127
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,960
She went ballistic
when I told her
128
00:05:09,030 --> 00:05:10,300
I'd bought you a ticket.
129
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:11,700
"He should be buying you
tickets, Clive.
130
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,360
He's the millionaire!"
131
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,830
His little jokes.
132
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:27,800
Told you we should've
asked Ellie.
133
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:29,800
What, after last time,
when she cried
134
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,800
'cause the bowling shoes
didn't matching her jumper?
135
00:05:31,860 --> 00:05:34,860
Yeah, exactly.
Look, he's here.
136
00:05:34,930 --> 00:05:38,900
At least,
I think it's him.
137
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:54,330
Sorry I'm late, Keith. I had to
find all me stuff. Ta-da!
138
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,930
Feels great to be back
in the old gear again.
139
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,630
Still fits me
like a glove, ha.
140
00:05:57,700 --> 00:06:00,600
Hi. Alan Walker.
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00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:04,730
Though you may know me
as The Pinslayer.
142
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,530
So,
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00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,360
all this gear's
yours, yeah?
144
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:10,500
Yeah, used to play
a couple of years ago.
145
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,830
Everyone was frightened
of me and Betty.
146
00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,730
Isn't she a darling?
147
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,560
Betty and I used to light up
the Home Counties league.
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00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:18,830
Anywho,
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00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,730
shall we get
this party started?
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00:06:29,300 --> 00:06:31,700
[Rumble]
151
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,330
[Hum]
152
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,000
[Rumble]
153
00:06:36,060 --> 00:06:37,530
[Hum]
154
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,160
Fly, Betty, fly!
155
00:06:45,830 --> 00:06:48,760
What wood is this lane
made from?
156
00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:50,800
Polyurethane topcoat,
is it?
157
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:02,000
Why have I got a bad feeling
in my stomach, Dad?
158
00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:03,430
-Have you been eating
Lego again?
159
00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:04,600
No.
160
00:07:04,660 --> 00:07:09,530
-Then it's dread, son.
It's dread.
161
00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:16,830
Wow, fabulous seats, Clive.
So near the table.
162
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:19,400
Thank you.
-It's nothing.
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00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:21,730
Pleased to have somebody
to come with.
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00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,730
Ah, the snooker!
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00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:27,160
Drama and excitement,
yet peace and quiet.
166
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:29,430
Name me a better place to get
away from the other half
167
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,900
for a few hours.
168
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,960
-A massage parlor?
169
00:07:33,030 --> 00:07:34,460
[laughing]
I'm joking.
170
00:07:34,530 --> 00:07:38,330
I've been looking forward
to coming here for days.
171
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,300
That's why I feel
so guilty.
172
00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,230
The thing is, Lauren and I
have been together,
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00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,660
we've been doing everything
together, for months, now.
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00:07:46,730 --> 00:07:48,060
The honeymoon period.
175
00:07:48,130 --> 00:07:50,330
-So I've been looking forward
to coming here all week.
176
00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,260
Not because I'm tired
of Lauren
177
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,230
or because I don't enjoy
her company. It's just --
178
00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,630
You need a break.
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00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,760
I'll let you in
to a little secret.
180
00:07:57,830 --> 00:08:00,800
On our honeymoon,
I ditched Emma
181
00:08:00,860 --> 00:08:03,460
to watch the '76
FA Cup Final.
182
00:08:03,530 --> 00:08:05,900
[laughing]
But you hate football.
183
00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,300
Exactly. Just needed to get away
for an hour or two.
184
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,200
Stop being so hard
on yourself.
185
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:14,630
Lauren knows
what you think of her.
186
00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:18,130
Now we're here, let's just relax
and enjoy ourselves.
187
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,830
Who do you fancy to win?
188
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:21,800
-Well, not Maynard,
that's for sure.
189
00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:24,300
He hasn't got
a chance in hell.
190
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:27,830
Good luck, Maynard.
191
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:31,030
These seats are
very close, aren't they?
192
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,830
Is this a hustle? Have they
got to you, Alan? Are they
193
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:36,000
paying you to be this bad?
-Oh, look, the snooker's on.
194
00:08:36,060 --> 00:08:38,160
Don't try and change
the subject!
195
00:08:38,230 --> 00:08:40,930
I just need to warm up,
that's all.
196
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:50,230
[Laughter]
197
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:52,630
All right,
it's your turn.
198
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:55,330
This time, just try
and get the ball
199
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:59,300
in the general compass
direction of the pins, okay?
200
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,830
Fly, Betty, fly!
201
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,330
I got 'em.
202
00:09:12,430 --> 00:09:13,700
I got 'em.
203
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,360
Brilliant, Alan!
204
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,200
Think that was a fluke?
205
00:09:20,530 --> 00:09:23,360
So no more calls, then?
206
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,430
-Thank goodness.
Well, you should've heard him.
207
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,100
He definitely said
"McCready"
208
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,560
and that he was coming
here tonight.
209
00:09:28,630 --> 00:09:30,100
I just put the phone down.
210
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,860
The voice,
it was horrible!
211
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:35,760
It was all croaky
and with an air of menace.
212
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:38,960
Are you sure it wasn't
Auntie Joan?
213
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:41,030
Are you sure it wasn't you?
You managed to dig out
214
00:09:41,100 --> 00:09:43,130
your McCready diary
rather easily, didn't you?
215
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,200
-I was nostalgic. And why
would I want to scare Mum?
216
00:09:46,260 --> 00:09:50,300
Ahem. Listen to this:
217
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,730
"October 15, 1992.
218
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,130
Tonight, I saw something.
219
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,100
I heard a strange moaning
coming from the kitchen.
220
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:05,030
There was McCready,
his back to me,
221
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,400
standing in his kilt.
222
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:09,800
Then I saw it was just Mum
in a tartan skirt."
223
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,100
Extraordinary.
-No, wait wait wait wait.
224
00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:12,800
There's something else
in the margin.
225
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:14,260
[Gasp]
226
00:10:14,330 --> 00:10:16,930
"I (heart)
227
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,360
Take That."
228
00:10:19,430 --> 00:10:22,130
Yes, I do.
229
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,960
You know, if this house
is haunted,
230
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:25,800
then it's all
Lauren's fault.
231
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:27,900
She used to do Ouija boards
in our bedroom.
232
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,360
No, it wasn't a proper
Ouija board.
233
00:10:29,430 --> 00:10:31,430
I just used to use
some Scrabble letters
234
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:32,800
and a Dairylea triangle.
235
00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:34,400
So don't worry, Mum.
236
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:35,430
-It doesn't bother me.
I don't believe
237
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,400
all that mumbo-jumbo:
ghosts, demons,
238
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,030
the Green Party.
239
00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:42,030
[Ring]
240
00:10:42,130 --> 00:10:44,260
[Ring]
241
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:45,930
Hello?
242
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,030
[Scottish accent] Don't slamthe phone down on me again.
243
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:49,560
[Gasp]
244
00:10:49,630 --> 00:10:51,930
-Who's doing this?
245
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,700
[gasp]
What about Lydia?
246
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,630
No. For it to be Lydia,
she'd have had to
247
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,700
sneak into our house,
gone through my things,
248
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,200
found my diary,
memorized it,
249
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:03,500
then got Mum and Dad's number,
to start crank calling.
250
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,860
You're right,
it's probably Lydia.
251
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,500
17.
252
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,660
-Ugh. [sniffle]
253
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:16,260
[chuckling] You do love
snooker, don't you, Clive?
254
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:17,860
No, it's not that!
255
00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:19,500
This woman in front of me,
256
00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:24,800
she's wearing a mohair jumper
and I'm allergic to mo--
257
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,260
mo--
258
00:11:26,330 --> 00:11:27,760
By-ya!
259
00:11:27,830 --> 00:11:28,830
[Spectators murmur]
260
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:32,300
Sorry. Sorry.
261
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,330
Settle down, please.
262
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:37,760
Beeyeah!
263
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,330
-Andrew Maynard, 17.
264
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,030
Settle down.
265
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,800
-Sorry. So sorry.
266
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:46,030
[whispering]
This is intolerable!
267
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,900
I can't sit through
the entire match like this!
268
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,260
[whispering] Would you mind
taking your top off?
269
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:54,660
Or is there nothing
underneath?
270
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,200
[Squeak]
271
00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,930
[Squeak]
272
00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,760
Whoever's making that noise,
can they please stop?
273
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:03,500
[Squeak]
274
00:12:04,830 --> 00:12:06,900
So sorry.
Huge apologies.
275
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,060
No more noise.
-No more noise.
276
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,060
[Squeak]
277
00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:15,230
[Squeak]
278
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:16,830
Just lower them
and sit still.
279
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,060
[Squeak]
280
00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:22,500
Bizzo!
281
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:24,330
-[Murmuring]
282
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,430
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
283
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:32,900
[Cheering]
284
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,430
And that's.
the. first. game.
285
00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:37,400
We. are. kick-ing.
their. butts.
286
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:39,060
Go and get the victory
ice creams,
287
00:12:39,130 --> 00:12:41,360
Charlie.
288
00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:43,860
Do you think that's wise?
We've only won one game.
289
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:46,060
We shouldn't be gloating.
-Ah, to hell with modesty.
290
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:48,530
They were laughing
at your bowler's bum, before.
291
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:51,200
But you're The Pinslayer.
Say it.
292
00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:52,500
I'm The Pinslayer.
293
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,830
No! Say it
like you mean it.
294
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,400
I'm The Pinslayer!
295
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:57,660
Like you really mean it!
296
00:12:57,730 --> 00:13:00,400
-I am The Pinslayer,
hear me roar!
297
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,560
I will break you
and crush you
298
00:13:02,630 --> 00:13:04,400
and then take your wife
as my own!
299
00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:07,560
O-kay, that's too much.
300
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,230
Wine, gin, tonics,
301
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:17,060
just in case you haven't
got any, Lauren's mum.
302
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,460
Rum,
303
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,230
Angostura bitters,
304
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,630
lager, cider,
305
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:23,830
more gin.
306
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,100
Ooh!
307
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,500
And a packet of Nik Naks.
308
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,460
Lydia, we didn't invite you
round for a party.
309
00:13:29,530 --> 00:13:31,960
We summoned you.
-Remind me?
310
00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:33,660
To tell you to stop
making crank calls,
311
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,130
to come over and explain,
312
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,060
apologize to my mum.
313
00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:38,930
You all know what
I've done, don't you?
314
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,930
I've forgotten
the lemons!
315
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,630
Oh, just admit it! You're
the only one with a motive
316
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,960
and the opportunity
and the downright craziness.
317
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:48,060
-I'm crazy?
318
00:13:48,130 --> 00:13:49,760
I'm not the one with
a roomful of badgers.
319
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,930
It's like being
in Wind in the Willows.
320
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,260
Or Amityville Horror.
Well, I'm just saying:
321
00:13:54,330 --> 00:13:55,960
if it isn't her, then it's
got to be someone else.
322
00:13:56,030 --> 00:13:57,830
Something else.
323
00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,130
You mean like ghosts?
-No, of course not. It's just --
324
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,660
Why don't you explain what's
happening, then, Debs.
325
00:14:02,730 --> 00:14:04,400
I'm with you,
Lauren's sister.
326
00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:06,800
The only thing evil in this
house is that cushion.
327
00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,830
Ghosts don't exist.
328
00:14:08,900 --> 00:14:12,130
[Ring]
329
00:14:12,230 --> 00:14:13,830
[Ring]
330
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:16,830
McCready?
-Yes.
331
00:14:16,900 --> 00:14:18,230
I'll return tonight.
332
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:20,000
Oh, you think you're
scaring us, but you're not.
333
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,960
This fearful throb in my voice
is just purely coincidental.
334
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,160
Do you hear me?
Hello!
335
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,060
[Dial tone]
-Hello! Hey!
336
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:30,830
He's hung up.
He's hung up.
337
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,300
Well! At least we know
it's not her.
338
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,700
Who is this ghost?!
What does he want?!
339
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:36,630
What have you done to him?!
-Please get her off me!
340
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,060
Get her off!
-We're all going to die-ie-ie!
341
00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:40,400
Lydia! Lydia!
342
00:14:42,230 --> 00:14:43,700
REFEREE: One.
343
00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,630
[whispering] I can't see
the balls for tears!
344
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,660
Have you got a tissue, Ed?
345
00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:54,200
-Hang on.
346
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,800
[Squeak]
347
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,800
[Squeak]
348
00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:59,400
Like taking
a plaster off --
349
00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:00,900
all at once.
350
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,430
[Squeaking]
351
00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:05,900
Foul and a miss.
352
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,300
Look, I won't
warn you again.
353
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,960
Be quiet.
354
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,600
[Ring]
355
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,360
MAN: Oh, come on.
356
00:15:12,430 --> 00:15:13,600
[Ring]
357
00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:15,260
[Murmuring]
-Ugh!
358
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:18,030
[Ringing]
-I'm so sorry.
359
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,230
I forgot to --
I've never
360
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,700
turned this off before.
-Give it here, man.
361
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:23,860
No, you'll squeak!
362
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:26,130
It'll be quicker
if I just answer it.
363
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:30,400
Clive?
-I can't talk now, Emma.
364
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,700
You will talk!
We need the submenu code
365
00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,930
for the burglar alarm,
for the doors and windows.
366
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,560
Go away!
367
00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:39,360
I'll text it to you!
368
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:40,760
Please don't kick us out.
369
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:43,300
I love snooker
more than life itself!
370
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,230
Do you want them removing
from the auditorium?
371
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:47,930
[Murmuring]
372
00:15:53,260 --> 00:15:56,360
[Beeping]
373
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,830
Clive.
-I've just put it on silent.
374
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,260
No, I've got an itch.
375
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:15,200
You're going to
have to scratch me.
376
00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:17,700
I can't do it, can I?
I'd squeak.
377
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,030
Please!
It's the tip of my nose.
378
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,130
Ah.
379
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,530
That's it.
380
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,700
Now on my neck.
381
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:37,860
Up a bit.
382
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:41,130
Left.
Left, a bit more.
383
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,400
Ah.
384
00:16:43,930 --> 00:16:45,360
Ahh! That's it.
385
00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,460
REFEREE: 6.
386
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:55,930
-And my chest.
387
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,660
Please!
This is torture.
388
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:06,560
That's no good. You're
going to have to reach inside.
389
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:11,660
MAN: For God's sake.
390
00:17:20,230 --> 00:17:23,330
Ahh. Ahh-ahh-ahh.
391
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,260
[Giggling]
392
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,060
Yeah!
393
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:49,300
Strike!
394
00:17:54,830 --> 00:17:56,400
[Hum]
395
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,430
It's my phone.
396
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:01,100
Yes, and it's
tickling me.
397
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,900
It'll be Emma.
It'll stop soon.
398
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,330
[Hum]
399
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:11,930
[Hum]
400
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,330
I can't sit here
with that tickling me.
401
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,300
You're going to have to
scratch me again.
402
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,160
[Hum]
403
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:20,460
[Hum]
404
00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:24,300
Leave. me. alone.
405
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,060
I need that alarm code!
406
00:18:26,130 --> 00:18:31,630
It's 232--
407
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:33,160
I can't hear you!
Speak up!
408
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:36,830
I said it's 232--
409
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,160
I can't hear
a word you're saying!
410
00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:41,300
I want you to leave the snooker
this instant, Clive!
411
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,100
There they are!
-Oh, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum!
412
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,730
Dad, it's Lauren.
Just hold up your fingers
413
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,560
to tell us the code.
We can see you right now.
414
00:18:48,630 --> 00:18:49,830
Oh oh oh,
415
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:52,100
and tell Ed he looks
very handsome
416
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,830
on the television.
Mwah.
417
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,460
There, 2.
418
00:19:06,530 --> 00:19:07,760
3.
419
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,400
He would never make
a gesture like that
420
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:18,830
to a professional
snooker player.
421
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,230
Mr. Maynard said
you were also
422
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:23,200
making disparaging remarks
about him before the match.
423
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:25,230
True, but I never
intended him to hear those.
424
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:28,160
There's nothing
malicious going on.
425
00:19:28,230 --> 00:19:30,200
See? I've even
taken off my jacket
426
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:32,130
and given it
to this lady here.
427
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,160
Inside-out -- no more
squeaking, no more sneezing.
428
00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:36,500
And we're turning
our mobile phones off.
429
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:39,660
-Ah.
430
00:19:39,730 --> 00:19:42,060
I think we should
leave one phone on,
431
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:44,530
just in case Emma and Lauren
need us in an emergency.
432
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,500
What, you mean like Casper the
Friendly Ghost attacking them?
433
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,200
Okay, fine. I'll leave mine
in silent mode,
434
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:53,860
but I am definitely
not scratching you again.
435
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,330
-One more distraction,
436
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,500
you're out.
-We won't make another sound.
437
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,830
[Musical ringtone]
438
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,560
As soon as play resumes.
439
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,500
Excuse me.
440
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,030
Sorry.
441
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:08,500
Alan, I'm at the snooker.
-Yeah, I know.
442
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:12,230
It's on here.
That Maynard's appalling.
443
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:13,860
But you got to
get down here, Ed.
444
00:20:13,930 --> 00:20:16,000
I'm bowlingthe game of me life.
445
00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:18,300
This moment's bigger
than the moon landing
446
00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:21,730
or when Nando's
first opened.
447
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,960
I have to switch my phone off.
Play's about to resume.
448
00:20:25,030 --> 00:20:26,830
We're in trouble
for distracting.
449
00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:29,200
Distracting?
-Maynard.
450
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:31,830
He seems to be getting put off
by the slightest things:
451
00:20:31,900 --> 00:20:34,330
my jacket squeaking,
452
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,400
sneezes,
phones going off.
453
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:37,830
You'd think
that a professional
454
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:39,730
wouldn't be fazed
by that sort of thing.
455
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,060
No, us athletes
are finely tuned.
456
00:20:42,130 --> 00:20:44,330
The slightest thing
to unsettle us and...
457
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,930
Fascinating, Jessica Ennis,
but I've really got to go.
458
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:54,000
[Mobile rings,
music throbs]
459
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:57,160
[Child squeals]
460
00:20:57,230 --> 00:21:01,060
Alan, everything okay?
-Distractions.
461
00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,400
What?
462
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:03,900
I've got a routine.
463
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,730
I created my routine
to clear my mind,
464
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,700
but I've just been talking
to Ed about distractions
465
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,430
and I keep thinking
about them.
466
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,130
I'm getting distracted
by distractions.
467
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,930
There aren't
any distractions.
468
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,700
The background noise,
the music playing,
469
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,360
that feral child whose parents
aren't keeping an eye on him,
470
00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:19,800
phones ringing.
471
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:22,260
But, worse than all these
put together --
472
00:21:22,330 --> 00:21:25,800
Did you notice
473
00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:28,230
that Mrs. Powell
has a mustache?
474
00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:31,260
[Quincy Jones's
"Ironside" plays]
475
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,260
Forget about the mustache.
476
00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:41,700
Just bowl, Alan.
Focus!
477
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,460
Focus, right.
478
00:21:45,530 --> 00:21:47,460
Focus.
479
00:21:56,360 --> 00:21:57,960
[Rumble]
480
00:21:58,030 --> 00:21:59,360
[Hum]
481
00:21:59,430 --> 00:22:01,160
Fly, Betty, fly!
482
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,430
Lydia, now we know
it wasn't you,
483
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,530
there's no need for you to stay.
-Oh, I think I'd better,
484
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,960
Lauren's mum. What if you
opened the door to let me out
485
00:22:18,030 --> 00:22:19,660
and a maniac pounced
on me?
486
00:22:19,730 --> 00:22:21,530
It's a chance
I'm willing to take.
487
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,330
I could ring for my special
friend Raul to come over,
488
00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,960
protect us?
-Ra-ul?
489
00:22:27,030 --> 00:22:28,300
He's very handsome.
490
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:29,760
And reasonable.
491
00:22:29,830 --> 00:22:31,630
Where's your computer?
492
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:33,800
It's away, for some
service or other.
493
00:22:33,860 --> 00:22:36,930
Oh, that's a shame.
I could've shown you his photo
494
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,430
on guystonight.com.
495
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:39,800
They provide
496
00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:43,660
quality male company for
today's more discerning lady.
497
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,260
[Giggling]
-Want me to give him a ring?
498
00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:47,100
That won't be necessary.
Thank you.
499
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,460
Though, I admit, I would feel
safer if your father were back.
500
00:22:50,530 --> 00:22:53,430
Look at him there,
watching his beloved snooker,
501
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:56,430
without a care
in the world,
502
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,500
while we're barricaded in
for our lives.
503
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,930
Keith's the same.
504
00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:02,060
He's bowling, so he won't
pick up the phone.
505
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:05,660
Sport. I'd sooner have competed
for Eddie's affection
506
00:23:05,730 --> 00:23:07,830
with another woman
than bloody sport.
507
00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,330
Whenever a man says "I'm just
going for a round of golf",
508
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,160
what he actually means is
"I can't stand your face!
509
00:23:13,230 --> 00:23:15,660
Get out of my way,
or I'll spit in your eye."
510
00:23:15,730 --> 00:23:17,600
That's not true.
511
00:23:17,660 --> 00:23:19,230
Is it?
512
00:23:19,300 --> 00:23:21,660
We all become sports widows,
at some point, Lauren.
513
00:23:21,730 --> 00:23:23,230
Ed really wanted
to go to the snooker.
514
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:25,500
I'm a snooker widow.
515
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:26,860
Ouch! Already?
516
00:23:26,930 --> 00:23:29,400
It's not like Ed's going to meet
someone at the snooker, is it?
517
00:23:29,460 --> 00:23:31,360
-Really?!
518
00:23:31,430 --> 00:23:33,160
He's talking
to a woman now!
519
00:23:33,230 --> 00:23:35,930
[laughing] And she's
wearing his jacket.
520
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:37,630
What is she doing?
521
00:23:39,830 --> 00:23:40,900
Eh!
522
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,500
Stop wearing his jacket!
523
00:23:47,430 --> 00:23:50,200
They're catching us up.
-Sorry.
524
00:23:50,260 --> 00:23:51,430
But how can I focus
with...?
525
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:53,430
[ "Ironside" plays ]
526
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,300
We're so going to lose.
-Don't you say that.
527
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:04,260
Alan, is there anything
we can do for you, get for you,
528
00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:06,630
to help you refocus,
help you relax?
529
00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:08,230
Swimming with dolphins.
530
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:10,900
Great. I'll just ask if they've
got any behind the bar.
531
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,000
Here, have some ice cream.
532
00:24:14,060 --> 00:24:16,900
Banoffee'll take
your mind off things.
533
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,430
No, banoffee won't help,
this time.
534
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:21,100
It's lodged in my brain.
535
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,330
How can she walk round
like that?
536
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,730
Do they even
notice it themselves?
537
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,900
Well done.
538
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,160
Stay there.
539
00:24:31,230 --> 00:24:33,100
So, Mr. Powell,
540
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,260
like it hairy, do we?
541
00:24:35,330 --> 00:24:38,230
[Gasp, sobbing]
-How dare you.
542
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:42,230
Ah!
543
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,660
Ohh!
544
00:24:47,730 --> 00:24:49,800
That went better
than I thought it would.
545
00:24:57,900 --> 00:25:01,200
[Thunder rumbles]
-It's raining.
546
00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:02,860
I can't see a thing.
547
00:25:02,930 --> 00:25:04,000
[Doorbell rings]
548
00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:05,830
Oh, that'll be Dad and Ed.
549
00:25:05,900 --> 00:25:07,300
-They're still at the
snooker, you pleb.
550
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:08,700
Let's not answer it.
551
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:09,830
Did Lydia go out?
552
00:25:09,900 --> 00:25:12,730
-No, she's upstairs,
sleeping off a vat of wine.
553
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,860
What do we do?
-Well, not answer it.
554
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:17,460
Whoever it is will just have to
come back in daylight.
555
00:25:17,530 --> 00:25:18,960
[Thunder crashes]
556
00:25:19,030 --> 00:25:21,830
Aah! A face,
a man at the window.
557
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,300
-What did he look like? Did he
have evil, red, glowing eyes?
558
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,500
I only caught a glimpse.
559
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,230
Ah!
560
00:25:34,030 --> 00:25:36,130
REFEREE: 134.
561
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,160
Settle down, please.
562
00:25:37,230 --> 00:25:39,160
[Whistle]
-Settle down, please!
563
00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:41,700
Settle down.
564
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,530
-Shh! [tsking]
565
00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:53,460
Is he still there?
Can you see anything?
566
00:25:53,530 --> 00:25:55,660
I'm still ringing
your father.
567
00:25:55,730 --> 00:25:58,230
[Alarm blares]
-Oh!
568
00:25:58,300 --> 00:26:01,230
REFEREE: 140.
569
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,130
[Hum]
570
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,830
[Hum]
571
00:26:05,930 --> 00:26:07,800
[Hum]
572
00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:08,860
[Hum]
573
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,100
[Hum]
574
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,500
[Hum]
575
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:14,600
[Hum]
576
00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:15,960
[Alarm blares]
577
00:26:16,030 --> 00:26:18,230
EMMA: That's the front door!Someone's got in!
578
00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:19,430
DEBS: Go and havea look, Lauren!
579
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:21,100
LAUREN: Why me?!-'Cause it's your demon!
580
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,600
Get out!
-Emma! Emma!
581
00:26:23,660 --> 00:26:25,130
Get out of the house! Flee!-Run!
582
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,030
Run for your lives!
583
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:29,930
Get out!
584
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,960
Ow!
585
00:26:33,030 --> 00:26:34,200
Oof!
586
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:38,200
-Not in the face!
587
00:26:38,260 --> 00:26:41,260
I've got
a young girlfriend!
588
00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:44,230
I'll grab his arms.
You grab his legs, hmm?
589
00:26:44,300 --> 00:26:46,300
[Alarm continuesblaring]
590
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,900
3, 2, 1.
591
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,260
-Love you.
Aah!
592
00:26:51,330 --> 00:26:53,400
Aaaah!
593
00:26:53,460 --> 00:26:54,900
Ew!
594
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:57,530
Lauren, Lauren's sister,
595
00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,930
this is Raul,
from guystonight.com.
596
00:27:00,060 --> 00:27:02,830
Terrible Web name.
You should be called
597
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:04,330
tightbuns.co.uk.
598
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,100
I invited him over to liven up
our little soir?e.
599
00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:15,530
[Keith laughs
delightedly]
600
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:16,960
They've gone
right off the boil.
601
00:27:17,030 --> 00:27:18,360
-Hardly surprising.
602
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:20,630
You said his wife looked
like Magnum, P.I.
603
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,760
I was just doing
what was necessary.
604
00:27:22,830 --> 00:27:24,660
"Revenge is a dish
best served cold."
605
00:27:24,730 --> 00:27:26,100
Do you know who said
that, Charlie?
606
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,460
Joey Barton?
-Jamie Oliver.
607
00:27:28,530 --> 00:27:30,300
Now, go and buff Betty
for Alan's final throws.
608
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:33,200
Look, you're distracted,
609
00:27:33,260 --> 00:27:36,100
so it's only fair that
they're distracted, too.
610
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,130
Now go out there
and complete this game
611
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,000
and win us that trophy.
612
00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:42,900
[whispering]
Pinslayer.
613
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:50,630
[Rumble]
614
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,530
[Hum]
615
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,930
Fly, Betty, fly!
What the...?
616
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,630
-Aaagh! Ah!
617
00:27:57,700 --> 00:27:59,360
3PO!
-[Sob]
618
00:27:59,430 --> 00:28:01,100
I'm so sorry!
619
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:03,000
I was distracted.
Look!
620
00:28:05,830 --> 00:28:08,930
My nose! It feels like
broken biscuits.
621
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:11,600
-No, nothing's broken.
Stop being so --
622
00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:13,430
Oh, my God!
That's horrible.
623
00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,000
Right, we've got to
get you to hospital.
624
00:28:15,060 --> 00:28:16,860
No! Then we'll have to
forfeit the game.
625
00:28:16,930 --> 00:28:20,100
There's more to life
than sport, Charlie.
626
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,660
Like your mum
not divorcing me.
627
00:28:21,730 --> 00:28:24,330
Up you get.
628
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,860
That woman there,
you see?
629
00:28:25,930 --> 00:28:28,400
She struck me.
630
00:28:28,460 --> 00:28:30,000
And she was wearing
a mohair jumper.
631
00:28:30,060 --> 00:28:32,330
Damn it, I forgot to get
my jacket back off her.
632
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,700
-Oh, so some good has
come out of this.
633
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,200
And I'm not a sports
widow, after all.
634
00:28:37,260 --> 00:28:38,600
-No, neither's
your mother, now.
635
00:28:38,660 --> 00:28:40,000
Lifetime bans.
636
00:28:40,060 --> 00:28:41,400
And for what?
637
00:28:41,460 --> 00:28:44,860
Warning you to run away
from Lydia's ruddy toyboy!
638
00:28:44,930 --> 00:28:48,060
By the way, has the highland
warrior-demon called since then?
639
00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:50,360
-No!
640
00:28:50,430 --> 00:28:52,400
It'll be a mystery
we'll never solve.
641
00:28:52,460 --> 00:28:53,830
Up there with
642
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:56,160
why toasters have
a burn-it setting
643
00:28:56,230 --> 00:28:58,160
and what type of animals
Wombles are.
644
00:28:58,230 --> 00:29:00,130
[Doorbell rings]
645
00:29:08,460 --> 00:29:10,300
[Thunder rumbles]
646
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:15,400
[Scottish accent]
Here it is.
647
00:29:15,460 --> 00:29:17,730
That's him,
the weirdo caller.
648
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,760
No, this is Brian,
649
00:29:19,830 --> 00:29:21,400
the computer chap
I told you about.
650
00:29:21,460 --> 00:29:23,730
It's him,
the horrible voice!
651
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:25,000
BRIAN: Sore throat,
that's all.
652
00:29:25,060 --> 00:29:27,130
Flu.
Loads o' it about.
653
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:28,800
Is your surname McCready?
654
00:29:28,860 --> 00:29:29,900
No.
655
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,660
But you have been ringing the
house all day, haven't you?
656
00:29:31,730 --> 00:29:32,930
Don't deny it.
657
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:34,830
Not denying anythin'.
658
00:29:34,900 --> 00:29:36,260
Rang to tell you your
Apple Mac was serviced.
659
00:29:36,330 --> 00:29:38,260
Told you I was
bringing it round.
660
00:29:38,330 --> 00:29:39,830
You kept slamming
the phone down on me.
661
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:42,100
Because you kept calling
yourself "McCready".
662
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,160
No, I didnae.
-Yes, you didnae.
663
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:46,260
No, I didnae! Look!
664
00:29:46,330 --> 00:29:49,330
I don't need this hassle.
-Just a second. Clive,
665
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,330
you've got a Mac computer?
-Yeah, that's right.
666
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,660
You said the Mac was ready?
667
00:29:52,730 --> 00:29:53,730
Aye, your Mac's ready.
668
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,130
"Mac ready".
-That what I just said!
669
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,460
Screw youse,
670
00:29:57,530 --> 00:29:59,730
I'm going home!
671
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:02,730
See? Nothing to be
frightened of.
672
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:03,760
I wouldn't go
so far as that.
673
00:30:03,830 --> 00:30:05,760
Look how much he's
charged me!
674
00:30:05,830 --> 00:30:07,730
[Laughing]
675
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:09,760
-McCready, ohh.
676
00:30:09,830 --> 00:30:12,230
Aah!
677
00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:14,330
?El diablo!
678
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:15,630
Raul, darling,
679
00:30:15,700 --> 00:30:17,730
where are you going?
680
00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,630
?El diablo, ah!
681
00:30:20,700 --> 00:30:22,430
?El diablo!
682
00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:24,400
Subtitle by peritta
683
00:30:24,450 --> 00:30:29,000
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