All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 1x12 - The Jerusalem Duality.720p HDTV.CTU.en

Here's the problem with teleportation.

Lay it on me.

Assuming a device could be invented
which would identify

the quantum state of matter
of an individual in one location

and transmit that pattern to a
distant location for reassembly,

you would not have transported
the individual.

You would have destroyed him
in one location

and recreated him in another.

How about that.

Personally,
I would never use a transporter,

because the original Sheldon
would have to be disintegrated

in order to create a new Sheldon.

Would the new Sheldon be in any way
an improvement on the old Sheldon?

No, he would be exactly the same.

That is a problem.

So you see it too.

Dr. Hofstadter. Dr. Cooper.

Dr. Gablehauser.

Gentlemen, I'd like
you to meet Dennis Kim.

Dennis is a highly sought-after
doctoral candidate,

and we're hoping
he'll do his graduate work here.

- Graduate work. Very impressive.
- And he's only 15 years old.

Not bad... I, myself,
started graduate school at 14.

Well, I lost a year while my family
was tunneling out of North Korea.

Advantage: Kim.

I thought maybe you boys
could show Dennis around.

Let him see why we're the best physics
research facility in the country.

I already know you're not.

You don't have an Open Science Grid
computer or a free electron laser.

The string theory research being done
here is nothing but a dead end.

Excuse me, that is my research,
and it is by no means a dead end.

Obviously you don't see it yet,
but trust me, you will.

Dennis, we've discussed this.

We're in the process
of updating our equipment,

and we welcome your input
on our research goals.

We've agreed to look the other way

if you use up to 20%
of the grant money you attract

to smuggle your grandfather
out of Pyongyang.

We want him here, boys.

- Make it happen.
- Yes, sir.

You can count on us.
We're on it.

What the hell do you mean, "dead end"?

I mean, the whole landscape
of false vacuums in string theory

could be as large as 10
to the 500th power. In addition...

Look, chocolate milk.

I sense a disturbance in the Force.

A bad feeling I have about this.

Season 1 Episode 12:
The Jerusalem Duality

Dennis, how long
have you been in America?

- A year and a half.
- No kidding.

- You speak English really well.
- So do you.

Except for your tendency
to end sentences with prepositions.

What are you talking about?

That.

He's not wrong.

All right... And this is my office.

- Is this part of the tour?
- Nope. Goodbye.

Sheldon,
we've hardly shown him anything.

All right. This is my desk.

These are my books; this is my door.
Please close it behind you. Goodbye.

Looks like you're doing work
in quantum loop corrections.

Keen observation. Goodbye.

You see where you went wrong, don't you?

Get him out.

Come on. I'll show you the rec center.
They've got Nautilus equipment.

Do I look like I lift weights?

Not heavy ones.

It's startling you haven't considered

a Lorentz invariant
or field theory approach.

You think I haven't considered it?

You really think
I haven't considered it?

Have you considered it?

- Get him out, Leonard.
- Come on, Dennis.

I'll show you the radiation lab.

You won the Stevenson Award?

Yes. In fact, I am
the youngest person ever to win it.

Really? How old?

Fourteen and a half.

You were the youngest person
ever to win it.

It's like looking into an obnoxious
little mirror, isn't it?

This is really delicious, isn't it?

Still can't talk to me
unless you're drunk, huh?

Sweetie, you are so damaged.

Hey, I'm damaged, too.

How about a hug for Howie?

Sure. Raj, hug Howard.

Something you'd like to share?

A tale of woe, perhaps?

15 years old.

Dennis Kim is 15 years old,
and he's already correcting my work.

Today, I went from being
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, to...

- You know, that other guy.
- Antonio Salieri?

Oh God, now even you
are smarter than me.

You know, you don't have so many friends

that you can afford to
start insulting them.

Just eat, Sheldon, you'll feel better.

Why waste food?

In Texas, when a cow goes dry,
they don't keep feeding it, they just...

take her out and shoot
her between the eyes.

I'm confused.
Did Sheldon stop giving milk?

You can't let this kid get to you.

You always knew that someday someone
younger and smarter would come along.

Yes, but I assumed I would've
been dead hundreds of years

and that there'd be an asterisk
by his name because he'd be a cyborg.

So you've got a little competition.
I really don't see what the big deal is.

Of course you don't.
You've never excelled at anything.

I don't understand exactly how did
he get any friends in the first place?

We liked Leonard.

What are you gonna do, just give up?

It's what a rational person does
when his entire life's work

is invalidated
by a postpubescent Asian wunderkind.

He ceases his fruitless efforts,

he donates his body
to scientific research,

and he waits to die.

I'm confused again.
Is he waiting,

or do we get to shoot
him between the eyes?

I've decided you're right.
My career is not over.

Great!

Since the arrival of Dennis Kim
has rendered my research pointless,

I just have to find something else
to focus on.

Great!

So I've decided.
I'm going to collaborate with you.

Great.

So what exactly is it you do?

You chatter on about it all the time,
but I've never really paid attention.

Right now, I'm designing an experiment

to study the soft component
of cosmic radiation at see level,

- but I really don't need any help.
- Sure you do.

See, what's this here in the schematic?
Is that a laser array?

- Yes.
- Now...

What happens if you use argon lasers
instead of helium-neon?

- It would blow up.
- Are you sure?

Pretty sure.

"Pretty sure" is not very scientific.

Is this how you normally work?
Just hunches and guesses and stuff?

I understand that you're going
through a bit of a career cris,

you're searching for some other area

where you can feel
valuable and productive,

but I need to tell you something.
I want you to listen carefully.

- All right.
- Go away.

If you're concerned about
sharing credit with me,

your name can go first...
I'm going.

It's a small, brown paper bag, Ma!

I'm looking in it right now.

Why would I make that up?
There's no Ding Dong in it.

How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow
gonna help me today?

So...

This is Engineering, huh?

I'll talk to you later.

Engineering.

Where the noble semiskilled laborers

execute the vision
of those who think and dream.

Hello, Oompa-Loompas of science.

Sheldon, what are you doing here?

I just came by to say hello.

I've been in this lab for 3 years.
You've never come by to say hello.

Up until now,
I've had better things to do.

So, what are we making today?

A small payload support structure

for a European science
experimental package

- that's going up on a space shuttle.
- Really? How does it work?

When this is done, it will be
attached to the payload bay,

and the sensor apparatus
will rest on it.

So, it's a shelf.

No, you don't understand.
During acceleration,

it needs to stay perfectly level
and provide...

Yeah, it's a shelf.

I notice you're using titanium.

Did you give any consideration
to carbon nanotubes?

They're lighter, cheaper,
and have twice the tensile strength.

There's a diploma in my office

that says I have a
master's in engineering.

You also have a note from your mother
that says, "I love you, Bubula."

But neither of those is a cogent
argument for titanium over nanotubes.

Go away!

Did Leonard tell you to say that?

No, I thought of it all by myself.

That can't be a coincidence.

There must be
some causal link I'm missing.

Go away!

Curiouser and curiouser.

- Is he here?
- If he were, I wouldn't be.

Do you know what he did?
He watched me work for 10 min,

and then started to design a simple
piece of software that could replace me.

Is that even possible?

As it turns out, yes.

Something's got to be done about him.

Like what? He'll never be
able to cope with the fact

that some 15-year-old kid is smarter
and more accomplished than he is.

What if something happened to this boy

so he was no longer a threat to Sheldon?

Then our problem would be solved.

Hang on, are we talking
about murdering Dennis Kim?

I'm not saying no.

We don't have to go that far.
There are other means available.

We can't send him back to North Korea.

He knows how to get out.

The only thing we need to do
is make this Kim kid lose his focus.

Won't happen. He is not interested
in anything but physics.

- What about biology?
- What?

You know, biology.

The one thing that can completely
derail a world-class mind.

He's 15.

Yeah, so? When I was 15,
I met Denise Palmeri

and my grade point average
fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.

She was sleeping with you?

No, I just...

wasted a lot of time thinking
about what it would be like if she did.

Oh, good, you're all here.

Look, if the three of you drop

whatever it is you're working on
and join me,

we could lick cold fusion in less
than a decade. 12 years, tops.

Go away?

Could it be me?

What's up?

We need a hot 15-year-old Asian girl
with a thing for smart guys.

What?

Howard, that's racist.
Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick.

It's possible she may have
misunderstood us.

Dr. Cooper.
Are we interrupting?

No, please come in.
I think you'll appreciate this.

This is very exciting.

- What are you working on?
- Something remarkable.

Since my prospects for the Nobel prize
in physics have disappeared

thank you very much,

I've decided to refocus my efforts

and use my people skills
to win the Nobel peace prize.

I will solve
the Middle East crisis

by building an exact replica
of Jerusalem

in the middle of the Mexican desert.

To what end?

It's like the baseball movie.

"Build it and they will come."

Who will come?

The Jewish people.

- What if they don't come?
- We'll make it nice, put out a spread.

Okay, well, speaking of spreads,

we're having a small welcoming party
this afternoon for Mr. Kim

who's agreed to join us here
at the university.

Of course he has.

The Oracle told us
little Neo was the one.

You can see the matrix, can't you?

Well, obviously you're very busy
with your...

Come, Dennis.

You'll have to excuse Dr. Cooper.
He's been under a lot of...

He's nuts.

They'll come, they'll settle,
and I'll win the prize.

I really don't understand
your objections, professor Goldfarb.

Why wouldn't the Sonora desert
make a perfectly good promised land?

Go away.

We could call it Nuevo Jerusalem.

Please go away.

Said Pharaoh to Moses.

Why are all these young women here?

It's Take Your Daughter To Work Day.

Really?
I was not aware of that.

Yes. There was a very official e-mail

sent to everyone
whose insurance files indicated

they had daughters between
the ages of 14 and 16.

- Smooth.
- Thank you.

There's the man of the hour.

Okay, so we now have
a socially-awkward genius

in a room full of attractive,
age-appropriate women.

All he has to do now is
hook up with one of them.

Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?

- We need a social catalyst.
- Like what?

We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.

- Or can we?
- No, we can't.

I don't think you mean "we can't."
I think you mean "we shouldn't."

You're a Jew.
If there was another Wailing Wall

exactly like the one in Jerusalem

but close to taco stands
and cheap prescription drugs,

would you still be able to wail at it?

Okay, it's definitely me.

We cannot leave this to chance.
Let's pick a girl

and figure out how to get her
together with Dennis.

How about that one?

I know the type.

Cheerleader, student council,
goes out with the jocks,

won't even look at anybody
in the gifted program.

If after 2 years of begging,
she agrees to go out with you,

it turns out to be a setup and you're
in your mom's car with your pants off

while the whole football team
laughs at y...

- Are you crying?
- No, I have allergies.

Okay...

How about her?

Sure, if he wants to spend two years

doing her homework
while she drinks herself into a stupor

with nonfat White Russians.

You're holding her head
out of the toilet while she's puking

and telling you she wishes
"more guys were like you."

Then she gets into Cornell
because you wrote her essay

for her and you drive up
to visit her one weekend

and she acts
like she doesn't even know you.

Okay, so not her, either.

How about her?

Interesting,
kind of pretty,

a little chubby,
so probably low self-esteem.

I think that's our girl.
One of us should go talk to her.

I can't talk to her... you do it.

I can't just go up and talk to her.
Howard, you talk to her.

She'll never go for the kid
once she gets a peek at this.

In India, this would be simpler.

5 min with her dad, 20 goats
and a laptop, and we'd be done.

- We're not in India.
- Why don't we do it your way then?

We'll arrange for this girl
to move in across the hall from Dennis

so he can pathetically
moon over her for months on end.

- Okay, that was uncalled for.
- You started it, dude.

Could I have everyone's
attention, please?

What a wonderful occasion this is,

and how fortunate
that it should happen to fall

on Take Your Daughter to Work Day.

We're here to welcome
Mr. Dennis Kim to our little family.

Welcome, Dennis Kim.

Mr. Kim

was not only the valedictorian
at Stanford University,

he is also the youngest recipient

of the prestigious Stevenson Award.

Youngest till the cyborgs rise up!

And now, without any further ado,

let me introduce
the man of the hour,

Mr. Dennis Kim.

What?!

Would you like to tell us a little bit
about your upcoming research?

No, thanks.
I'm going to the mall with Emma.

The kid got a girl.

Unbelievable.

Did anyone see how he did it?

Don't worry, I've got this.

Ladies and gentlemen,

honored daughters,

while Mr. Kim,
by virtue of his youth and naivete,

has fallen prey to the inexplicable need
for human contact,

let me step in and assure you that
my research will go on uninterrupted,

and that social relationships
will continue to baffle and repulse me.

Thank you.

- He's back.
- Mission accomplished.

Forget the mission. How did
that little yutz get a girl on his own?

I guess times have changed
since we were young.

Smart is the new sexy.

Then why do we go home
alone every night? We're still smart.

Maybe we're too smart.

So smart it's off-putting.

Yeah, let's go with that.

Unbelievable.

Components I built
are on the International Space Station

and I get a ticket for launching
a model rocket in the park.

I don't know if the ticket was
so much for the launch

as it was for you telling
the policewoman,

"You have to frisk me.
I have another rocket in my pants."

Look at that.

It's Dennis Kim.

I almost didn't recognize him.

I kind of feel bad
about what we did to him.

Yeah, we really ruined his life.

Screw him...
He was weak.