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Back in the '90s
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00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,921
before schools focused on
the well-rounded student,
3
00:00:04,945 --> 00:00:08,473
William Penn Academy only cared
about one thing, sports.
4
00:00:08,547 --> 00:00:11,322
Unfortunately, the same
was not true for the Arts.
5
00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:12,819
Big news, theater kids!
6
00:00:12,908 --> 00:00:14,596
I'm the new director
of the school musical!
7
00:00:14,621 --> 00:00:15,628
Where's Ms. Cinoman?
8
00:00:15,653 --> 00:00:18,408
Actually, she wrote a play
that's going to be on Broadway.
9
00:00:18,445 --> 00:00:20,581
Well, uh, not on Broadway.
10
00:00:20,715 --> 00:00:23,184
It's more of an off-Broadway production.
11
00:00:23,317 --> 00:00:25,453
- In Tennessee.
- What play did she pick for us?
12
00:00:25,585 --> 00:00:27,020
Got all the info right here
in the binder
13
00:00:27,154 --> 00:00:28,788
she threw in my driveway
as she drove by.
14
00:00:28,922 --> 00:00:32,059
Looks like it's
The Frogs by Aristophanes?
15
00:00:33,693 --> 00:00:35,562
They only picked it
'cause it's old and free,
16
00:00:35,696 --> 00:00:37,297
and theater gets, like,
no money from the school.
17
00:00:37,432 --> 00:00:38,500
This makes no sense.
18
00:00:38,632 --> 00:00:40,367
You're in the best
prep school in Philly.
19
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:42,202
For sports. Not theater.
20
00:00:42,336 --> 00:00:45,138
How do you not know any of this?
You went here.
21
00:00:45,272 --> 00:00:47,674
Because we did Phantom. That show
made me want to be a singer.
22
00:00:47,808 --> 00:00:49,576
We've complained to Mr. Glascott.
23
00:00:49,710 --> 00:00:52,079
- Nothing happens.
- Until now.
24
00:00:52,213 --> 00:00:54,015
Time for me to talk to him and fix this.
25
00:00:54,149 --> 00:00:55,850
- You can't fix this.
- Why not?
26
00:00:55,982 --> 00:00:57,851
When I went here,
we did Andrew Lloyd Webber.
27
00:00:57,985 --> 00:00:59,586
That play was huge for me.
What happened?
28
00:00:59,719 --> 00:01:01,222
Ms. Cinoman paid for it out of pocket.
29
00:01:01,356 --> 00:01:02,957
The smoke machines? The catering?
30
00:01:03,091 --> 00:01:04,750
That helicopter we had in Miss Saigon?
31
00:01:04,805 --> 00:01:07,594
Yep, so your only choice is to
do something old-timey and free
32
00:01:07,728 --> 00:01:09,431
or a musical without the singing.
33
00:01:09,564 --> 00:01:11,032
You literally need music for a musical.
34
00:01:11,165 --> 00:01:12,934
Have you seen
the smash stage show STOMP?
35
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:15,836
They use mops and buckets
and garbage-can lids as drums.
36
00:01:15,970 --> 00:01:18,173
They slap their faces. It's magical.
37
00:01:18,306 --> 00:01:19,907
You want my kids to play
garbage and whack their faces?
38
00:01:20,041 --> 00:01:21,241
That's your answer?
39
00:01:21,374 --> 00:01:24,110
Look, our money goes to the
more important departments.
40
00:01:24,244 --> 00:01:25,612
Like what?
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00:01:25,746 --> 00:01:27,281
Lovin' the new wheels, Glascott!
42
00:01:27,415 --> 00:01:29,583
It really helps to show off the
grounds to potential recruits
43
00:01:29,717 --> 00:01:31,118
like Roxborough Ronnie here.
44
00:01:31,252 --> 00:01:32,329
What the hell?
45
00:01:32,423 --> 00:01:34,805
Coach Mellor gets an absurd
helmet-mobile and recruits,
46
00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:37,003
and I gotta get my kids to
slap their faces to the beat?
47
00:01:37,073 --> 00:01:38,813
You do know that sports is the only way
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00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,769
we raise money for this school, right?
49
00:01:40,823 --> 00:01:42,030
What about all our alumni in the arts?
50
00:01:42,163 --> 00:01:44,265
- I bet they donate plenty.
- No.
51
00:01:44,398 --> 00:01:47,901
Our artsy-fartsy graduates are
too busy making hemp ponchos
52
00:01:48,035 --> 00:01:49,571
in their parents' basements
to donate anything
53
00:01:49,704 --> 00:01:51,271
other than their blood
for burrito money.
54
00:01:51,404 --> 00:01:52,873
It's sad but true.
55
00:01:53,006 --> 00:01:54,996
How are the parents at this
school okay with any of this?
56
00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:57,121
They all know if they have a kid
that excels in the arts
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00:01:57,184 --> 00:01:58,535
to go to Germantown Friends.
58
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:00,648
Pbht. More like Germantown Farts.
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Boom!
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00:02:03,317 --> 00:02:05,452
That's the kind of sharp wit we
need at this school, Ronnie!
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00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,657
Godspeed, boys!
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00:02:08,789 --> 00:02:11,525
♪ One of these days
You're gonna get outta here ♪
63
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:14,662
♪ Live your life and finally be free ♪
64
00:02:14,795 --> 00:02:17,497
♪ Go where you wanna go
Do what you wanna do ♪
65
00:02:17,631 --> 00:02:21,268
♪ Someday, you will say
"Those were the days" ♪
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00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:24,338
It was February 13th, 1990-something,
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00:02:24,472 --> 00:02:27,274
day one of the most awkward class
every kid was forced to take.
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00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:29,309
Hello, and welcome to the state-mandated
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00:02:29,444 --> 00:02:31,019
boys' Health class.
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00:02:31,111 --> 00:02:33,347
Today's lesson, JAR.
71
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,980
"J" stands for jock.
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00:02:36,984 --> 00:02:39,187
Wear it to keep your nuggets safe.
73
00:02:39,281 --> 00:02:41,289
What about, you know, girls and stuff?
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00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:43,056
Is "JAR" spelled with a "G"?
75
00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:44,290
No!
76
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,561
"A" is for Aerosol.
77
00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:49,163
Hey, John, are you busy?
78
00:02:49,296 --> 00:02:50,630
Please, my door is always open.
79
00:02:50,765 --> 00:02:54,202
Except when I take my 11:00
break to eat my Kraft Singles.
80
00:02:54,335 --> 00:02:55,369
That's my time.
81
00:02:55,503 --> 00:02:56,538
Uh, so, listen,
82
00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,338
I don't want to step on any toes,
83
00:02:58,473 --> 00:03:00,708
uh, but I really think
the boys' Health class
84
00:03:00,842 --> 00:03:02,343
needs to be longer than ten seconds
85
00:03:02,475 --> 00:03:04,111
and not include the word "nuggets."
86
00:03:04,244 --> 00:03:06,146
Look at you tattling on old man Mattis.
87
00:03:06,279 --> 00:03:07,981
John, it's the '90s.
88
00:03:08,115 --> 00:03:10,350
I mean, these kids have
real fears and concerns,
89
00:03:10,485 --> 00:03:13,487
and as teachers, it's our job
to provide them with answers.
90
00:03:13,619 --> 00:03:14,922
I'll talk to the guy.
91
00:03:15,056 --> 00:03:16,624
It's not gonna be an easy conversation.
92
00:03:16,756 --> 00:03:18,825
Herb Mattis, report to
my office immediately.
93
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,695
No. I didn't mean do it here with me.
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00:03:20,827 --> 00:03:22,762
- He'll know who tattled.
- Relax.
95
00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:25,399
If anyone can grow
and change with the times,
96
00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:26,567
it's good ol' Herb.
97
00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:27,893
I quit.
98
00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:30,438
But it's the middle of the school year.
You can't just leave.
99
00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:31,538
Good luck, narc.
100
00:03:31,671 --> 00:03:33,206
Hey, I'm not a narc.
101
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:34,807
I'm a tattletale.
102
00:03:34,942 --> 00:03:36,211
Which is cute and harmless.
103
00:03:36,343 --> 00:03:38,545
Well, looks like you just
tattled your way into
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00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:39,813
teaching the boys' Health class.
105
00:03:39,946 --> 00:03:41,247
You know what? I'll do it.
106
00:03:41,381 --> 00:03:42,984
Well, I admire your bravery.
107
00:03:43,117 --> 00:03:46,187
Now, if you'll excuse me,
it's 11:00 on the dot.
108
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,988
As CB took over Health class,
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00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:50,024
my plan to help the theater
kids was underway.
110
00:03:50,157 --> 00:03:52,460
Hey, you got a sec?
It's super important.
111
00:03:52,593 --> 00:03:54,061
Awesome.
112
00:03:54,194 --> 00:03:55,996
So, can you build me
a forest in ancient Greece
113
00:03:56,130 --> 00:03:57,764
- for less than 10 bucks?
- No problem.
114
00:03:57,897 --> 00:03:59,067
It's gotta be blue and yellow,
115
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,283
'cause that's the school colors
116
00:04:00,369 --> 00:04:02,278
and the only paints we have.
117
00:04:02,403 --> 00:04:03,871
Stupid Mellor sapping all our money.
118
00:04:04,004 --> 00:04:05,573
- It's bullcrap.
- It is what it is.
119
00:04:05,706 --> 00:04:07,208
Around here, football pays the rent.
120
00:04:07,342 --> 00:04:09,043
Wait... Rent!
121
00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:11,011
Oh, my God. That's the answer.
122
00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:12,278
We're gonna put on my favorite musical.
123
00:04:12,413 --> 00:04:14,515
- Is it The Wiz?
- No. Rent.
124
00:04:14,647 --> 00:04:16,215
There's a show called Rent?
125
00:04:16,349 --> 00:04:18,184
It's hip and young
and speaks to teenagers.
126
00:04:18,318 --> 00:04:19,720
One question, how you gonna pay for it?
127
00:04:19,854 --> 00:04:22,289
I'll just do the Cinoman and
charge it all on my credit cards.
128
00:04:22,423 --> 00:04:24,291
I really insist you
don't spend your own money.
129
00:04:24,424 --> 00:04:26,292
But, unlike her, I've picked a musical
130
00:04:26,426 --> 00:04:27,994
that's guaranteed to sell out.
131
00:04:28,128 --> 00:04:29,529
I'll make all the money back and more.
132
00:04:29,664 --> 00:04:31,633
Mmm. That kinda sorta makes sense.
133
00:04:31,765 --> 00:04:33,106
- So you'll put money in, too?
- No.
134
00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:36,836
Hey, Coach! We're coming for you.
135
00:04:36,971 --> 00:04:38,273
You're coming to the game, huh?
136
00:04:38,406 --> 00:04:40,441
Fantastic! But you better hurry
137
00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:42,443
'cause tickets are selling
like protein powder.
138
00:04:42,575 --> 00:04:44,816
I mean, we're taking you on.
This is war.
139
00:04:44,941 --> 00:04:46,410
Oh, I know it's war.
140
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:49,050
And you have my word,
our school is going to destroy
141
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,910
Germantown Friends.
142
00:04:50,988 --> 00:04:53,653
No, wait. The war is between me and you.
143
00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:55,323
I was determined to beat sports,
144
00:04:55,455 --> 00:04:57,123
and CB was gonna use his cool style
145
00:04:57,257 --> 00:04:58,592
to enlighten young, curious minds.
146
00:04:58,726 --> 00:05:00,628
What up, my homies?
147
00:05:00,762 --> 00:05:03,631
It's time to kick it and chat
about our changing bods.
148
00:05:03,765 --> 00:05:06,834
This Health class is about
to get a makeover, dogs.
149
00:05:06,967 --> 00:05:08,835
Totally informal rap session.
150
00:05:08,969 --> 00:05:12,772
Just us boys dropping
knowledge on the b and b's.
151
00:05:12,906 --> 00:05:14,875
Yes, we have our first question. Hit me.
152
00:05:15,008 --> 00:05:17,276
I'm very interested in
getting jiggy with it,
153
00:05:17,411 --> 00:05:19,347
but how does one exactly get jiggy?
154
00:05:19,481 --> 00:05:21,115
Wow. That's quite the question.
155
00:05:21,248 --> 00:05:23,317
Maybe we can build up to that.
156
00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:25,018
All right, anyone else?
157
00:05:25,152 --> 00:05:26,719
I would love some afternoon delight,
158
00:05:26,854 --> 00:05:29,089
but, like, any time of the day.
159
00:05:29,222 --> 00:05:31,658
That's more of an alarming
statement than a question.
160
00:05:31,792 --> 00:05:33,960
What's it mean when a baby's got back?
161
00:05:34,094 --> 00:05:35,262
Okay, lotta stuff flying at me here.
162
00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:38,731
I would like a lady
to pour some sugar on me.
163
00:05:38,866 --> 00:05:39,933
How do I make that happen?
164
00:05:40,068 --> 00:05:42,169
You guys listen to a lot of pop music.
165
00:05:42,303 --> 00:05:44,472
Is there anyone who has
a question that isn't related
166
00:05:44,606 --> 00:05:46,407
to a filthy, inappropriate song?
167
00:05:47,774 --> 00:05:48,709
Lay it on me, pal.
168
00:05:48,842 --> 00:05:51,145
So, when I'm with a girl,
169
00:05:51,277 --> 00:05:53,046
is it possible, you know, to go (Bleep)
170
00:05:53,179 --> 00:05:55,682
to my (Bleep) real fast (Bleep)
171
00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:58,986
I'm (Bleep) like (Bleep)
172
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,824
not (Bleep) but (Bleep)
ticklin' (Bleep)?
173
00:06:05,325 --> 00:06:07,729
Okay, class dismissed.
174
00:06:07,869 --> 00:06:10,397
Go. Frolic in the sunshine.
175
00:06:10,531 --> 00:06:12,533
Be the children that you still are.
176
00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:15,080
As CB failed to deliver
the goods in Health class,
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00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:18,046
I was having some problems making Rent.
178
00:06:18,171 --> 00:06:21,409
♪ Nine-hundred ninety-five
thousand two-hundred... ♪
179
00:06:21,541 --> 00:06:23,943
♪ One thousand two million thousand... ♪
180
00:06:24,077 --> 00:06:28,261
♪ One dozen six-hundred
eight-thousand minutes ♪
181
00:06:28,425 --> 00:06:31,585
These poor kids have no idea
how much time is in a year.
182
00:06:31,719 --> 00:06:34,021
They're not good. You guys are so good!
183
00:06:34,154 --> 00:06:35,689
- Take five.
- I tried to explain.
184
00:06:35,823 --> 00:06:38,025
The football team wins
because they have money,
185
00:06:38,159 --> 00:06:40,094
they have facilities,
they have scholarships.
186
00:06:40,227 --> 00:06:41,828
- Scholarships?
- Yeah.
187
00:06:41,962 --> 00:06:43,630
Can't win without the best players.
188
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:46,433
How do you think deep thinkers like
Roxborough Ronnie end up here?
189
00:06:46,566 --> 00:06:48,034
Then that's what we'll do.
190
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:49,869
They have ringers? So will we.
191
00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:52,138
The board's position is pretty clear.
192
00:06:52,272 --> 00:06:54,374
We don't do any
arts-related scholarships.
193
00:06:54,508 --> 00:06:56,109
I get it, football brings in money.
194
00:06:56,243 --> 00:06:59,318
But you guys aren't tapping into
a market bigger than football.
195
00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:01,449
Bigger than football? Let's see.
196
00:07:01,582 --> 00:07:04,784
- Well, I know it's not soccer.
- Hollywood.
197
00:07:04,919 --> 00:07:06,053
Right now, there's only one alumni
198
00:07:06,186 --> 00:07:07,654
from William Penn who made it out there.
199
00:07:07,787 --> 00:07:10,289
Class of '71,
former drama club president
200
00:07:10,424 --> 00:07:12,693
and character actor Robert Picardo
201
00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:14,628
who plays a hologram on
Star Trek: Voyager.
202
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,395
I love him!
203
00:07:16,529 --> 00:07:18,065
Look, with enough Robert Picardos,
204
00:07:18,198 --> 00:07:19,899
this school could be put on the map
205
00:07:20,034 --> 00:07:22,236
as a training ground for amazing actors,
206
00:07:22,368 --> 00:07:25,638
musicians, singers,
who go on to make millions.
207
00:07:25,772 --> 00:07:28,474
You just got permission to give
an arts scholarship, lady.
208
00:07:28,609 --> 00:07:30,978
Let me talk to Mellor,
and you are good to go.
209
00:07:31,111 --> 00:07:32,178
Yes.
210
00:07:32,311 --> 00:07:34,113
I hope you're happy, Lainey Lewis.
211
00:07:34,248 --> 00:07:35,416
Thanks to you, our team won't get
212
00:07:35,549 --> 00:07:36,717
that third-string nose tackle
213
00:07:36,851 --> 00:07:37,985
I was gonna poach from Episcopal.
214
00:07:38,118 --> 00:07:39,787
Third string? He's not even gonna start?
215
00:07:39,921 --> 00:07:40,921
You know what this means, right?
216
00:07:41,054 --> 00:07:43,056
This is war.
217
00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:45,426
- Yeah, I said that already.
- Really? I don't remember that.
218
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:47,165
I literally said to your
face, "This is war."
219
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,796
Eh, I thought you were just making
a sad joke with no punch line.
220
00:07:49,929 --> 00:07:51,131
Here's the punch line.
221
00:07:51,265 --> 00:07:53,301
You just lost your backup's
backup nose tackle,
222
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,501
and I got a five-star recruit
to bring down the house.
223
00:07:55,635 --> 00:07:58,438
Mmm, well, we shall see.
224
00:07:58,572 --> 00:08:00,628
We shall see!
225
00:08:02,409 --> 00:08:04,111
Not an exit. It's just
painted on the wall.
226
00:08:05,012 --> 00:08:07,014
War!
227
00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:09,483
CB had failed teaching
the boys about their bodies,
228
00:08:09,616 --> 00:08:12,285
so he decided to think outside
the box... With a box.
229
00:08:12,419 --> 00:08:15,089
Before you is an anonymous question box.
230
00:08:15,222 --> 00:08:18,825
Drop in any Health class related
queries that you have right now
231
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:20,226
and I will answer them all.
232
00:08:20,361 --> 00:08:22,363
Seriously? Any questions?
233
00:08:22,496 --> 00:08:26,133
I've realized that as long as I don't
put a face to the horror show,
234
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:28,735
I can handle anything
you guys throw at me.
235
00:08:28,868 --> 00:08:29,871
So let's give it a shot.
236
00:08:35,541 --> 00:08:38,045
Wow, that filled up fast.
237
00:08:38,179 --> 00:08:40,047
Okay, first anonymous question.
238
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,517
How long does it take to sh...
239
00:08:44,151 --> 00:08:46,020
Nope! Next!
240
00:08:46,152 --> 00:08:48,822
And... Doo, doo-doo doo-doo.
241
00:08:48,955 --> 00:08:50,724
No. Next again.
242
00:08:50,858 --> 00:08:51,925
Nope!
243
00:08:52,059 --> 00:08:53,060
No!
244
00:08:53,194 --> 00:08:54,228
Mmm-mmm.
245
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,328
I cannot unsee this.
246
00:08:55,463 --> 00:08:56,897
Why?
247
00:08:58,298 --> 00:09:00,700
I can't do it. Ugh.
248
00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:01,736
I can't do this.
249
00:09:03,469 --> 00:09:04,772
There's something wrong with those kids.
250
00:09:04,905 --> 00:09:07,040
- There's really not.
- Just look in the box.
251
00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:08,541
Charlie, you were right.
252
00:09:08,676 --> 00:09:10,544
It's our job as teachers to provide
253
00:09:10,677 --> 00:09:13,012
the best information
for all of our students
254
00:09:13,146 --> 00:09:15,282
to make sure that they're
safe and responsible...
255
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:18,051
Sweet Lord! You have to answer this?
256
00:09:19,686 --> 00:09:20,687
I'm not gonna.
257
00:09:22,321 --> 00:09:23,590
Can a person even do that?
258
00:09:23,724 --> 00:09:25,426
- You tell me.
- I don't think they can.
259
00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:26,594
Well, maybe with help?
260
00:09:26,727 --> 00:09:28,295
Why would they even ask that?
261
00:09:28,429 --> 00:09:29,730
I told them they could ask me anything.
262
00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:31,599
You need to burn this box,
263
00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:34,001
and I need to go back to church.
264
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,936
No, what we need is Mr. Mattis back.
265
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:37,771
Just get advice from Liz Flemming.
266
00:09:37,905 --> 00:09:39,573
She teaches the girls' Health class,
267
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,274
and she does a fantastic job.
268
00:09:41,407 --> 00:09:44,577
Health class will now be
taught by Ms. Flemming.
269
00:09:44,711 --> 00:09:47,114
Thank you for your time,
and best of luck.
270
00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:50,584
- ♪ You're living in America ♪
- LAINEY: CB had admitted defeat,
271
00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:52,820
but in the war between
arts and athletics,
272
00:09:52,954 --> 00:09:55,522
I was about to declare victory
thanks to my new recruit.
273
00:09:55,656 --> 00:09:58,825
♪ You're living in America ♪
274
00:09:58,959 --> 00:10:01,762
♪ Leave your conscience at the tone ♪
275
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:04,197
All right, boys, bring it on in.
276
00:10:04,331 --> 00:10:05,765
Let's station up and pair off.
277
00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,066
Whoa, whoa. What the hell, dude?
278
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,335
We're in the middle of practice.
279
00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:10,003
So are we. This is our new weight room.
280
00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:12,205
- Good luck.
- No, it isn't.
281
00:10:12,339 --> 00:10:13,440
What can I say?
282
00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:15,343
You inspired me to go to Ball
283
00:10:15,475 --> 00:10:17,744
and remind him we'd never win
the big homecoming game
284
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:20,213
unless we had a proper
weight training space.
285
00:10:20,346 --> 00:10:21,781
You can't just take my stage.
286
00:10:21,915 --> 00:10:23,017
And I'm not.
287
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,919
But I do get the rest
of the gymnatorium.
288
00:10:25,051 --> 00:10:28,721
So it looks like we'll be building
mass and girth right next to you.
289
00:10:28,855 --> 00:10:30,023
Well, you think a few
weights are gonna stop us?
290
00:10:30,157 --> 00:10:31,691
The show must go on.
291
00:10:31,825 --> 00:10:33,126
From the top, Ian!
292
00:10:33,259 --> 00:10:34,828
All right, let's bang it out, men.
293
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,560
- I want your heels on the ground.
- ♪ Don't breathe too deep ♪
294
00:10:36,584 --> 00:10:37,660
Arch that back.
295
00:10:38,671 --> 00:10:39,693
- That's it. Snatch it up. There you go.
- ♪ Don't think all day ♪
296
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:40,818
- This is where we do the work, baby!
- ♪ Don't think all day ♪
297
00:10:40,842 --> 00:10:41,771
Focus, Ian!
298
00:10:41,810 --> 00:10:43,803
Just ignore the weird grunts
and horrible groans.
299
00:10:43,937 --> 00:10:46,005
- You got this.
- I want your quads screaming for mercy,
300
00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:47,874
and there will be no mercy.
301
00:10:48,008 --> 00:10:50,844
I want a bunch of dogs!
That's it! Up, up, up!
302
00:10:50,978 --> 00:10:52,512
There you go, baby! Two more!
303
00:10:52,646 --> 00:10:54,815
Ah! Can you please
tell them to quiet down?
304
00:10:54,949 --> 00:10:55,916
No can do.
305
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:58,286
That guttural grunting
is honey in my ears.
306
00:10:58,418 --> 00:11:02,455
♪ Just play the game ♪
307
00:11:02,589 --> 00:11:06,093
♪ And when you're living in America ♪
308
00:11:06,225 --> 00:11:10,397
♪ At the end of the millennium ♪
309
00:11:10,531 --> 00:11:11,965
- Whoa.
- Holy crap.
310
00:11:12,099 --> 00:11:16,503
♪ You're what you own ♪
311
00:11:16,637 --> 00:11:19,503
♪ The filmmaker cannot see ♪
312
00:11:19,581 --> 00:11:20,917
Ronnie, don't even think about it.
313
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:23,831
♪ And the songwriter cannot hear ♪
314
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:24,911
All you, Ronnie.
315
00:11:25,003 --> 00:11:27,550
♪ Yet I see Mimi everywhere ♪
316
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:31,451
- Dear God, he's good.
- ♪ Angel's voice is in my ear ♪
317
00:11:31,585 --> 00:11:32,551
Bring it home, Ronnie!
318
00:11:32,686 --> 00:11:34,354
♪ Tighten those shoulders ♪
319
00:11:34,488 --> 00:11:36,890
- You're here to play football, Ronnie!
- You don't have to be!
320
00:11:37,023 --> 00:11:38,657
♪ Just clench your jaw till you frown ♪
321
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:42,999
- ♪ Just don't let go or you may drown ♪
- You can't sing in a play, man!
322
00:11:43,062 --> 00:11:44,732
I quit!
323
00:11:44,864 --> 00:11:48,335
- Ha!
- ♪ And when you're living in America ♪
324
00:11:48,468 --> 00:11:53,507
♪ At the end of the millennium ♪
325
00:11:53,639 --> 00:11:57,744
♪ You're what you own ♪
326
00:11:57,878 --> 00:11:59,079
Whoo!
327
00:12:03,117 --> 00:12:04,284
Welcome to theater, Ronnie.
328
00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:05,619
You want war?
329
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:07,988
You got it.
330
00:12:09,723 --> 00:12:12,736
All right, ladies,
let's dive into moon cycles.
331
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:15,061
Great mother of Madeleine Albright.
332
00:12:15,195 --> 00:12:16,530
What is the meaning of this?
333
00:12:16,662 --> 00:12:18,532
CB said we have to learn
body business from you.
334
00:12:18,666 --> 00:12:21,200
Okay, the boys and girls
do separate Health classes.
335
00:12:21,335 --> 00:12:22,436
Okay, but why?
336
00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:25,071
'Cause we talk about the female form
337
00:12:25,205 --> 00:12:28,575
and other sensitive subjects
that require privacy and trust.
338
00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:30,488
A safe atmosphere like that
sounds refreshing.
339
00:12:30,513 --> 00:12:31,386
Hmm.
340
00:12:31,411 --> 00:12:33,933
Also, do you cover how to
unhook a bra in a hot tub?
341
00:12:34,849 --> 00:12:36,249
Get out!
342
00:12:36,383 --> 00:12:39,286
So your solution was to dump it
in Ms. Flemming's lap?
343
00:12:39,420 --> 00:12:41,088
In my defense, her lack of fear
344
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:42,889
or any real human emotions
345
00:12:43,022 --> 00:12:45,158
really makes her
an excellent Health teacher.
346
00:12:45,291 --> 00:12:46,960
You can compliment me all you want.
347
00:12:47,094 --> 00:12:48,628
I'm still not taking over your class.
348
00:12:48,762 --> 00:12:51,464
Nor should you have to.
Look, we're teachers.
349
00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:53,734
That means that we dig down deep
350
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:55,936
because educators can conquer anything.
351
00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:57,804
Then it's settled.
You're a good man, John.
352
00:12:57,937 --> 00:13:00,411
Wait, what?
No, I didn't mean I'll do it.
353
00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:01,942
Too late, already been settled.
Thank you. Bye bye now!
354
00:13:02,075 --> 00:13:04,143
Thank you again for coming in
to talk to the drama kids,
355
00:13:04,277 --> 00:13:06,413
Hollywood's Robert Picardo.
356
00:13:06,546 --> 00:13:08,315
My pleasure. And you can
just call me Robert.
357
00:13:08,447 --> 00:13:09,481
I live in Encino.
358
00:13:09,615 --> 00:13:11,217
Wait, like Encino Man with Pauly Shore?
359
00:13:11,352 --> 00:13:12,386
- Mmm-hmm.
- Do you know him?
360
00:13:12,519 --> 00:13:14,186
Oh, because all actors know each other?
361
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,989
Yeah, I know him.
362
00:13:16,123 --> 00:13:18,992
Well, I am just so happy
you came back as an alumni.
363
00:13:19,126 --> 00:13:21,862
Really helps my case that the Arts
program at this school is worth it.
364
00:13:25,199 --> 00:13:26,633
- Where's our set?
- Didn't you hear?
365
00:13:26,767 --> 00:13:27,968
We took it down for the pep rally.
366
00:13:28,102 --> 00:13:30,036
- What?
- I talked to Earl Ball again,
367
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,372
made him realize we'd get a
better turnout for the big game
368
00:13:32,504 --> 00:13:34,440
if we held a pep rally
in here on Friday.
369
00:13:34,575 --> 00:13:36,609
Friday? That's when our play opens.
370
00:13:36,743 --> 00:13:39,211
Don't worry, your production's
been moved to The Pit.
371
00:13:39,345 --> 00:13:42,181
The Pit? That's where the elementary
school kids eat their snack.
372
00:13:42,315 --> 00:13:43,450
Well, you should've thought of that
373
00:13:43,583 --> 00:13:44,651
before you stole my quarterback
374
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:46,552
and turned him into Mandy Patinkin.
375
00:13:46,686 --> 00:13:48,220
But this musical has to be a hit.
376
00:13:48,354 --> 00:13:49,989
I got Robert Picardo here
to sign autographs.
377
00:13:50,123 --> 00:13:51,925
I am merely a vessel.
378
00:13:52,059 --> 00:13:54,995
I also reminded Earl of
the very generous pro athletes
379
00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:56,463
that will be attending the game
380
00:13:56,595 --> 00:13:58,998
like Mark Gubicza and Dave Singletary.
381
00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:02,035
Wait, those jackass bullies
are gonna be here?
382
00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:03,669
I gotta go.
383
00:14:03,804 --> 00:14:06,140
Robert, no! You're famous!
They'll pretend to like you now!
384
00:14:08,098 --> 00:14:10,043
I just lost my play to a pep rally.
385
00:14:10,176 --> 00:14:12,012
Hey, it's nothing personal.
386
00:14:12,144 --> 00:14:15,282
- No need to cry at all.
- Yeah, there is, dude.
387
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:17,051
I spent my own money on that play.
388
00:14:17,184 --> 00:14:18,218
Why would you do that?
389
00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:20,119
There was no budget.
I didn't have a choice.
390
00:14:20,253 --> 00:14:23,123
Your choice was not to pay for
it yourself. It's just a play.
391
00:14:23,256 --> 00:14:25,092
It's not just a play!
392
00:14:25,224 --> 00:14:26,993
Look, back in high school, I was lost.
393
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:29,695
I didn't care about anything.
394
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:32,374
But then a whole new world opened
up for me when I did a musical.
395
00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:33,899
I didn't know that.
396
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:35,734
Do you have any idea
what it means to a kid
397
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,369
to find something they're
passionate about?
398
00:14:37,503 --> 00:14:40,273
Of course. That's what I want
my athletes to find in sports.
399
00:14:40,407 --> 00:14:42,776
Well, I wanted my theater kids
to find that, too.
400
00:14:42,908 --> 00:14:45,578
But it's not gonna happen
'cause you won the war.
401
00:14:45,711 --> 00:14:46,713
I hope it feels good.
402
00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:53,487
Mr. Glascott was going to
attempt to reach the young men
403
00:14:53,619 --> 00:14:54,888
in Health class with a new approach,
404
00:14:55,022 --> 00:14:56,455
misdirection and diversion.
405
00:14:56,589 --> 00:14:58,624
All right, boys, who's ready to learn?
406
00:14:58,758 --> 00:14:59,735
I sure am.
407
00:14:59,839 --> 00:15:01,906
Wait, are we having
a third teacher in two days?
408
00:15:01,946 --> 00:15:02,945
For sure.
409
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:07,126
Now let's delve into your anonymous
questions about the human body.
410
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,502
Here's one.
411
00:15:08,634 --> 00:15:09,936
"What is a hug?"
412
00:15:10,070 --> 00:15:11,705
Aww, that's a good question.
413
00:15:11,838 --> 00:15:14,274
That's what two friends do platonically.
414
00:15:14,407 --> 00:15:15,742
Oh, here's another good one.
415
00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:17,644
"Should I ask my parents
any real questions
416
00:15:17,777 --> 00:15:19,379
"I have about my changing body?"
417
00:15:19,512 --> 00:15:22,248
Yes. Yes, you should.
418
00:15:22,382 --> 00:15:24,117
Um, I don't think
these are our questions.
419
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:25,786
Oh, sure they are. Like this one.
420
00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:27,319
"I think girls are nice."
421
00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:29,556
Hey, me, too.
422
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:31,664
Screw this. I'll just learn
about this stuff
423
00:15:31,689 --> 00:15:33,191
from the older kids on the bus.
424
00:15:33,192 --> 00:15:34,694
Oh, God, no, the school bus?
425
00:15:34,828 --> 00:15:36,296
That yellow tin can is filled
426
00:15:36,429 --> 00:15:37,964
with tall tales and misinformation.
427
00:15:38,098 --> 00:15:42,606
Clearly, it's up to me to give
you the answers that you need.
428
00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:46,629
Or I could use this.
429
00:15:46,739 --> 00:15:48,575
You mean a computer's
gonna tell us stuff?
430
00:15:48,708 --> 00:15:50,810
Oh, yeah. The school just paid money
431
00:15:50,944 --> 00:15:53,781
to connect us to this new thing
called the World Wide Spiderweb.
432
00:15:53,913 --> 00:15:55,314
Pretty sure that's not what it's called.
433
00:15:55,449 --> 00:15:57,450
You can type in your questions...
434
00:15:57,584 --> 00:15:59,853
...and let the robots inside answer it.
435
00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:02,289
Wait, the computer will answer
anything we ask it?
436
00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,992
Ask and show.
437
00:16:06,258 --> 00:16:07,827
Crushed it!
438
00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:13,300
- Hey.
- Oh, no.
439
00:16:13,432 --> 00:16:14,868
You quit the class already?
440
00:16:15,002 --> 00:16:16,770
Quite the opposite. I solved the class.
441
00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:18,538
I'm letting all those boys get answers
442
00:16:18,671 --> 00:16:20,139
from something called
"surfing" the Internet.
443
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,408
The Internet? That's the
thing they had on Dateline.
444
00:16:22,541 --> 00:16:25,012
Your panicked tone is suggesting
I made a grave error.
445
00:16:25,144 --> 00:16:26,478
Do you have any idea
what's on the Internet?
446
00:16:26,613 --> 00:16:28,382
Colorful graphs and weather updates?
447
00:16:28,514 --> 00:16:30,216
And also everything else.
448
00:16:30,349 --> 00:16:32,186
Those kids can see everything.
449
00:16:32,319 --> 00:16:34,288
I thought the Internet was
supposed to help the future!
450
00:16:34,421 --> 00:16:35,622
That'll just ruin it!
451
00:16:35,756 --> 00:16:36,990
We gotta stop those kids.
452
00:16:37,123 --> 00:16:39,960
Go, go, go!
453
00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:00,648
Nooo!
454
00:17:03,483 --> 00:17:06,152
Stoop!
455
00:17:06,787 --> 00:17:08,220
Die!
456
00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:09,323
Wait, what are you doing?
457
00:17:10,323 --> 00:17:11,659
Just unplug it.
458
00:17:12,659 --> 00:17:13,960
Oh.
459
00:17:14,094 --> 00:17:15,395
Well, we did it.
460
00:17:15,528 --> 00:17:16,896
- Yeah.
- We saved the children.
461
00:17:17,029 --> 00:17:19,199
You really didn't.
We typed in "getting jiggy"
462
00:17:19,332 --> 00:17:21,267
and all we saw was the top
of Will Smith's head.
463
00:17:21,401 --> 00:17:22,669
That's what you looked up?
464
00:17:22,802 --> 00:17:24,037
We told you. We don't
know what we're doing.
465
00:17:24,171 --> 00:17:25,171
Neither do we.
466
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:26,538
You don't know how hard puberty is
467
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,340
for an adult man to teach children.
468
00:17:28,475 --> 00:17:30,177
It's true. Nobody taught me this stuff.
469
00:17:30,309 --> 00:17:31,944
I just learned everything
on the playground.
470
00:17:32,077 --> 00:17:34,780
Well, get it together.
We need real help, man.
471
00:17:34,913 --> 00:17:36,583
Our bodies are all weird and pimply.
472
00:17:36,717 --> 00:17:38,318
I got kicked out of my boys choir!
473
00:17:38,451 --> 00:17:40,319
I had no warning this
would happen to my voice.
474
00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:42,522
You think that's bad?
When I was in school,
475
00:17:42,655 --> 00:17:44,657
I had incredibly hairy feet and arms.
476
00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:46,692
They called me Teddy the Yeti.
477
00:17:46,825 --> 00:17:49,430
My name is John.
478
00:17:49,563 --> 00:17:51,631
I guess we forgot what
it's like to be in your shoes.
479
00:17:51,765 --> 00:17:53,033
We're sorry we let you down.
480
00:17:53,165 --> 00:17:54,600
So... What now?
481
00:17:54,735 --> 00:17:56,092
So now we teach you.
482
00:17:56,169 --> 00:17:58,104
Together.
483
00:17:58,238 --> 00:17:59,839
Hey, everyone's headed to the gym.
484
00:17:59,972 --> 00:18:01,206
Think you ought to take a look-see.
485
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:03,277
No way. To them it's a pep rally,
486
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,879
but to me it's the end of
everything I care about. Hard pass.
487
00:18:06,013 --> 00:18:08,115
Sure, I understand how you feel.
488
00:18:08,248 --> 00:18:09,883
Just the same, you ought to take a look.
489
00:18:10,016 --> 00:18:11,250
I really think you're gonna like it.
490
00:18:18,602 --> 00:18:21,060
My stage, it's back.
491
00:18:21,193 --> 00:18:23,563
Attention Fighting Quakers,
492
00:18:23,697 --> 00:18:25,265
I know you're all here for a pep rally,
493
00:18:25,399 --> 00:18:27,734
but there's more to this
school than just sports.
494
00:18:27,866 --> 00:18:31,152
Turns out, we got a
damn good drama club.
495
00:18:31,832 --> 00:18:34,440
These kids busted their butts
like it was the playoffs,
496
00:18:34,575 --> 00:18:35,863
and they deserve our support...
497
00:18:43,216 --> 00:18:48,287
♪ Five-hundred twenty-five
thousand six-hundred minutes ♪
498
00:18:48,421 --> 00:18:53,960
♪ Five-hundred twenty-five
thousand moments so dear ♪
499
00:18:54,093 --> 00:18:59,099
♪ Five-hundred twenty-five
thousand six-hundred minutes ♪
500
00:18:59,231 --> 00:19:03,970
♪ How do you measure
Measure a year? ♪
501
00:19:04,104 --> 00:19:05,205
♪ In daylights? ♪
502
00:19:05,338 --> 00:19:06,606
♪ In sunsets? ♪
503
00:19:06,739 --> 00:19:07,807
♪ In midnights? ♪
504
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,175
♪ In cups of coffee? ♪
505
00:19:10,309 --> 00:19:15,013
♪ In inches, in miles,
in laughter, in strife? ♪
506
00:19:16,216 --> 00:19:17,584
Rick, wait.
507
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,025
What you just did was incredible.
508
00:19:19,064 --> 00:19:21,354
Yeah, maybe. No need to
make a big thing of this.
509
00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:23,123
No, there really is.
510
00:19:23,257 --> 00:19:25,391
I mean, you won the war, so why help me?
511
00:19:25,525 --> 00:19:26,804
Because there is no war.
512
00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:29,763
We're on the same side and that's
inspiring these kids to be great.
513
00:19:29,895 --> 00:19:32,765
It doesn't matter if it's
on a field or on a stage.
514
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,700
Plus, you put up your own money.
515
00:19:34,834 --> 00:19:36,902
I know. I won't do it again.
516
00:19:37,037 --> 00:19:38,805
Well, you won't have to.
I talked to Ball.
517
00:19:38,938 --> 00:19:39,906
We're gonna sell that helmet cart,
518
00:19:40,039 --> 00:19:41,974
cut back on the budget a little.
519
00:19:42,108 --> 00:19:44,110
Next time, you can put on
any play you want.
520
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,816
Thank you.
521
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:51,818
Okay.
522
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,556
♪ The bridges he burned ♪
523
00:19:55,689 --> 00:19:58,358
♪ Or the way that she died ♪
524
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:01,058
- ♪ It's time now to sing out ♪
- LAINEY: Teachers have tough jobs.
525
00:20:01,144 --> 00:20:03,796
For low pay and almost no recognition.
526
00:20:03,930 --> 00:20:06,894
And sometimes it can feel like the
most impossible job in the world.
527
00:20:09,736 --> 00:20:13,407
It involves challenges
that can seem overwhelming
528
00:20:13,539 --> 00:20:17,146
and sometimes responsibilities
too heavy to bear.
529
00:20:19,575 --> 00:20:22,756
♪ Remember the love ♪
530
00:20:22,883 --> 00:20:25,085
That's the great thing about teachers.
531
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:28,215
When we fall, we have others
right there to pick us up.
532
00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:32,762
♪ Measure, measure your life in love ♪
533
00:20:32,825 --> 00:20:34,493
Teachers are a team,
534
00:20:34,627 --> 00:20:38,539
and when we work together,
no one can defeat us.
535
00:20:39,565 --> 00:20:41,901
I'm Tim Meadows. I play John Glascott.
536
00:20:42,035 --> 00:20:43,704
- We're here with the real John.
- Hi.
537
00:20:43,836 --> 00:20:47,073
What are the challenges of
teaching kids about puberty?
538
00:20:47,207 --> 00:20:49,779
I used movies that...
That I thought would be helpful.
539
00:20:49,896 --> 00:20:51,857
The Ladies Man? That movie?
Did you ever use that?
540
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,880
It's a good movie to teach teens
541
00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:55,649
- about the birds and the bees.
- Yeah, okay.
542
00:20:55,781 --> 00:20:57,450
What was your least favorite
part of the job?
543
00:20:57,584 --> 00:20:58,818
My least favorite part
544
00:20:58,951 --> 00:21:00,287
was actually dealing with the parents.
545
00:21:00,420 --> 00:21:02,421
- Ye...
- The parents w-were tough.
546
00:21:02,555 --> 00:21:04,958
Is it weird being here?
Is this like the school?
547
00:21:05,091 --> 00:21:06,059
It looks a little bit like it.
548
00:21:06,192 --> 00:21:07,192
Have you seen your office?
549
00:21:07,326 --> 00:21:08,958
- I have not.
- Oh, it's very small.
550
00:21:09,041 --> 00:21:10,044
You're gonna be disappointed.
551
00:21:10,122 --> 00:21:12,065
- My office was very small. Oh, yes!
- Was it? Oh.
552
00:21:12,199 --> 00:21:15,102
How do you feel about being
portrayed on television?
553
00:21:15,235 --> 00:21:17,938
To have you playing my
character, I-I think is great.
554
00:21:18,071 --> 00:21:21,274
I was surprised to see we both
have the same actual hair.
555
00:21:21,393 --> 00:21:23,250
I can't grow any... Anything else, so...
556
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:25,317
Me, either.
557
00:21:25,379 --> 00:21:30,379
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
43108
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