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Previously on "Miracle Workers"...
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I want to do more to help.
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I will transfer you to the
Department of Answered Prayers.
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00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,746
Impossibles go all the way to the top.
5
00:00:08,748 --> 00:00:10,510
And so, if anyone
can handle them, he can.
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I decided to blow up Earth.
I guess that's it.
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If I answer one of these
"Impossible" prayers,
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you spare Earth.
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It's a bet.
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I really like this girl.
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Okay, love prayers never work.
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But related prayer.
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I really like this guy.
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Okay. This could work.
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Rosie, if anyone comes looking for me,
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tell them I'm in a meeting.
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With God!
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Religion... stupid, dangerous, pointless.
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Just [BLEEP] everything up.
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Hey, I got all your missed calls.
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00:00:54,476 --> 00:00:56,376
- What's the emergency?
- Love you, Bill!
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Have you heard of this guy Bill Maher?
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- The talk-show guy?
- Yeah.
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Do you think he's funny?
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'Cause I've been watching his stuff,
26
00:01:03,218 --> 00:01:05,118
and I don't know about these jokes.
27
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,509
- You mean the jokes about you?
- Oh, no.
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00:01:07,511 --> 00:01:08,822
I don't care about that. I mean...
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No, I just... I just don't...
I don't think he's funny.
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So, what do you want to do?
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Well, I mean, I wasn't thinking
about "doing" anything.
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I'm just... But now that you bring it up,
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what's that thing
that where we can, uh...
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- you know...
- Kill him?
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Whoa! Sanj!
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00:01:25,933 --> 00:01:28,767
Did you just drop the "K" bomb? Wow!
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Wouldn't want to get
on your bad side, Ice Man.
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Ai-ai-uh-uh! Whoo! Uh!
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Ooh! Freezer burn.
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But, yeah, kill him.
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Okay. Well, the good news is,
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Bill Maher's already scheduled to die
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along with everyone else, when
the Earth explodes in 13 days.
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You know what's funny, is that,
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you know how sometimes, like,
a day can feel so long?
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Okay, I'll go find a way to kill him.
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Ice Man.
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I love you, buddy.
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Okay.
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Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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Okay.
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00:02:30,865 --> 00:02:32,364
If we're gonna get these humans kissing,
53
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- we need to know more about them.
- Right.
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First up, we have Laura. 24 years old.
55
00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:40,272
Works at an escape room
called "Solitary Confunment."
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Listen up, ya jailbirds.
57
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A couple of ground rules, see?
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Don't touch the actors, see?
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00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:51,150
And if you're looking for
some clues, just ask the...
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00:02:51,152 --> 00:02:52,618
warden.
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End clip.
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What about Sam? What's his deal?
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So, Sam is also 24 years old.
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He was born with extra teeth,
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and he seems to really love
his grandmother.
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00:03:01,162 --> 00:03:02,828
Yahtzee!
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00:03:05,961 --> 00:03:07,566
Oh, this might be harder than we thought.
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00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:10,169
Well, look, neither of them
are particularly socially adept.
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00:03:10,171 --> 00:03:12,972
But I ran a compatibility check,
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00:03:12,974 --> 00:03:16,041
and they scored a 98%.
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00:03:16,043 --> 00:03:18,844
Whoa! They have so much in common.
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They both pretend to text in elevators
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in order to avoid potential small talk.
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They were both accidentally omitted
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- from their high-school yearbook.
- Dang.
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00:03:25,486 --> 00:03:27,286
They laugh at the same
insurance commercial,
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they cry at the same car commercial,
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00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:32,458
and they sing along incorrectly
to the same dumb commercial.
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? Chewing some gum and having a fun ?
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Ooh, they both love gye-ros
with extra green onions.
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I think it's pronounced
"jai-ros" but yes,
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and they both have
matching pollen allergies.
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No wonder they want to be together.
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Unfortunately, they are both so shy
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that they haven't actually communicated
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since the night they met.
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What are they waiting for?
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A sign.
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Cool. How does it work?
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00:03:55,549 --> 00:03:59,852
We send them subtle clues to
gently influence their actions.
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- Huh.
- Yeah!
92
00:04:01,856 --> 00:04:03,455
Now, on the night they met, they had
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00:04:03,457 --> 00:04:06,892
a fascinating conversation
about the game of badminton.
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00:04:06,894 --> 00:04:08,494
Let's have a listen.
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So, I hit the badminton thing
with the badminton racket,
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00:04:10,898 --> 00:04:13,298
and I was like, "Badminton's fun.
97
00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:15,534
I think I like badminton."
98
00:04:15,536 --> 00:04:17,503
Wow. I-I've never played badminton,
99
00:04:17,505 --> 00:04:18,737
but I really want to now.
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- You should!
- End clip.
101
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They spoke of badminton.
102
00:04:21,909 --> 00:04:24,743
Thus, if we remind them of badminton,
103
00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:26,745
they will see it as a sign...
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a call to arms.
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Each other's arms, as it were.
106
00:04:32,119 --> 00:04:33,819
Yeah. I mean, I don't know.
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The game begins.
108
00:04:41,395 --> 00:04:44,897
So, I found some build-up
in Bill Maher's left ventricle.
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00:04:44,899 --> 00:04:46,432
Looks like all we have to do
is thicken it up,
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00:04:46,434 --> 00:04:48,967
and he'll have a massive
heart attack by end of day.
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00:04:48,969 --> 00:04:51,370
Wow, that's great, Sanjay!
112
00:04:51,372 --> 00:04:53,439
- So we could explode his heart...
- Mm-hmm.
113
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...or his lungs...
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or his penis.
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Explode his penis?
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Whoa, Sanjay!
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Now, that's an idea!
118
00:05:01,015 --> 00:05:02,781
- Oh, no. I don't know if, uh, that's...
- Rosie!
119
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...something that...
120
00:05:04,452 --> 00:05:06,118
Wow, you're not gonna believe this.
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Sanjay, tell Rosie your idea
about Bill Maher.
122
00:05:09,957 --> 00:05:11,837
About his penis.
123
00:05:13,422 --> 00:05:17,467
I guess, uh... my idea...
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is to explode his penis.
125
00:05:21,035 --> 00:05:23,769
- Wow.
- I know.
126
00:05:23,771 --> 00:05:26,338
Ice Man is on the warpath.
127
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Better go handle that.
128
00:05:30,611 --> 00:05:33,745
So, uh, I guess, uh,
we should probably get started.
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No. This is all you.
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This is insane!
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I'm an executive.
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Have fun!
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Gust. Gust.
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Breeze. Zephyr.
135
00:05:49,730 --> 00:05:52,364
Quarter-breeze. Updraft.
136
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Yes! Boo-yah!
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In a mere six hours,
I've successfully blown
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a badminton birdie from a rooftop court
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00:05:59,006 --> 00:06:01,607
all the way to Laura's living room.
140
00:06:01,609 --> 00:06:04,209
That is what I call a sign.
141
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,514
- Mmm.
- What is that?
142
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It's a mustard packet.
It's a little treat.
143
00:06:10,618 --> 00:06:12,613
You do something good,
you get a little reward.
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Here. Have one.
145
00:06:14,889 --> 00:06:16,822
Oh, hello. Look. It's happening.
146
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Hmm.
147
00:06:23,464 --> 00:06:26,198
Okay. Onto the next sign.
148
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,167
Craig, okay, I've been doing research,
149
00:06:28,169 --> 00:06:30,969
and it seems like people
never pick up on signs.
150
00:06:30,971 --> 00:06:33,672
Okay? No matter
how obvious they are. Look.
151
00:06:33,674 --> 00:06:35,107
Ooh!
152
00:06:35,109 --> 00:06:37,910
'Tis a crow-y day, indeed.
153
00:06:37,912 --> 00:06:40,268
Well, time for the theater.
154
00:06:40,270 --> 00:06:42,147
This will be a normal night.
155
00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:45,017
See? This badminton thing
is not gonna work.
156
00:06:45,019 --> 00:06:47,085
We need to be bolder.
157
00:06:47,087 --> 00:06:48,220
What?
158
00:06:48,222 --> 00:06:50,022
Eliza?
159
00:06:50,024 --> 00:06:52,145
Out of my way, black cat.
160
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I'm late for my fun play.
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00:07:14,248 --> 00:07:17,015
Hey, colleagues!
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Ahh! I'm Sanjay from upstairs.
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00:07:20,721 --> 00:07:23,655
- Love what you guys do down here.
- Oh, thanks.
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00:07:23,657 --> 00:07:25,857
Um, we... we hardly ever
get acknowledged, so...
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Listen, I'm gonna need you
to explode Bill Maher's penis.
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00:07:28,529 --> 00:07:30,596
- What?
- It's important.
167
00:07:30,598 --> 00:07:33,065
Um, sir, I-I think there's
been a misunderstanding
168
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about what we do here in Genitals.
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Our powers are extremely limited.
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We mainly just try to enforce puberty.
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Well, I need this dick exploded.
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So I guess you better get to it, huh?
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Thaaaaanks, guys.
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Okay.
175
00:07:48,482 --> 00:07:50,449
Do you guys know how to...
176
00:07:51,518 --> 00:07:53,819
Ha! I figured it out.
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00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,487
We can get Sam and Laura together.
178
00:07:55,489 --> 00:07:58,357
We just need to engineer...
a Chance Encounter.
179
00:07:58,359 --> 00:08:00,559
Oh, no. Those are very risky.
180
00:08:00,561 --> 00:08:01,660
Check it out.
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00:08:01,662 --> 00:08:03,762
They both live near the same hospital,
182
00:08:03,764 --> 00:08:06,164
so all we need to do is get
them there at the same time.
183
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:07,866
Step one... injure Laura.
184
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:10,936
I found a melon near an open
window along her route to work.
185
00:08:10,938 --> 00:08:13,238
We blow it off,
it clonks her on the head,
186
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,840
and she goes straight to the ER.
187
00:08:14,842 --> 00:08:18,310
With Sam, I figure we
just pop his appendix.
188
00:08:18,312 --> 00:08:19,778
They spot each other in the ER,
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sparks fly, they kiss.
190
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World saved.
191
00:08:25,919 --> 00:08:28,387
Okay. It's very... It's... I don't...
192
00:08:28,389 --> 00:08:29,655
I don't know, though. Um...
193
00:08:29,657 --> 00:08:31,290
Oh, don't worry. Appendixes are easy.
194
00:08:31,292 --> 00:08:33,191
Look, there's even a button for it.
195
00:08:33,193 --> 00:08:34,359
Oh, you've seen that.
196
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:36,094
Um... I know.
197
00:08:36,096 --> 00:08:38,563
This is not the kind of stuff
you usually do,
198
00:08:38,565 --> 00:08:40,832
and it's a little, you know...
199
00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:42,534
It's outside of your comfort zone,
200
00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:44,403
and I get why you're scared.
201
00:08:44,405 --> 00:08:46,171
Oh, no. No. I'm not scared.
202
00:08:46,173 --> 00:08:47,506
- You're not?
- No.
203
00:08:47,508 --> 00:08:50,142
I'm a bold, intrepid man
with a strong mind.
204
00:08:50,144 --> 00:08:51,143
I'm a risk taker.
205
00:08:51,145 --> 00:08:54,212
I'm a big, bad boy.
206
00:08:54,214 --> 00:08:57,015
So that's a yes to the plan?
207
00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,083
Yes.
208
00:08:58,085 --> 00:08:59,328
- Yes?
- Yes.
209
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:00,819
- Yes!
- Yeah.
210
00:09:00,821 --> 00:09:02,921
- Oh, yes.
- Okay.
211
00:09:02,923 --> 00:09:06,258
I hope these lovebirds
like hospital food.
212
00:09:08,362 --> 00:09:11,463
Oh, Jean-Claude, I'd be lost without you.
213
00:09:11,465 --> 00:09:13,098
Don't neglect the heel cap.
214
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,399
You know what they say.
215
00:09:14,401 --> 00:09:15,734
It's not the clothes that make the man.
216
00:09:15,736 --> 00:09:16,787
It's the man who makes the...
217
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:18,422
Aren't you meant to be off
dealing with that penis?
218
00:09:18,424 --> 00:09:20,672
Oh, yeah. I put someone on that.
219
00:09:20,674 --> 00:09:23,442
Part of being an executive
is knowing when to delegate.
220
00:09:23,444 --> 00:09:25,377
Sanjay! Get in here!
221
00:09:25,379 --> 00:09:26,678
You don't have to come.
222
00:09:28,582 --> 00:09:30,182
- Look at this!
- Bill Maher,
223
00:09:30,184 --> 00:09:32,050
or should we say "Bill More,"
224
00:09:32,052 --> 00:09:33,885
was feeling cocky as he dragged
225
00:09:33,887 --> 00:09:36,855
more than one hot dog down the street.
226
00:09:36,857 --> 00:09:38,023
His dick grew!
227
00:09:38,025 --> 00:09:40,225
We asked the anti-religious provocateur
228
00:09:40,227 --> 00:09:42,928
how he felt about his blessing,
and the funnyman quipped,
229
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:45,731
"God is as fake as my dick is huge."
230
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:47,733
Happy birthday to Bill Maher!
231
00:09:47,735 --> 00:09:49,334
- Come on!
- I don't know what happened!
232
00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:50,602
I'll tell you what happened.
233
00:09:50,604 --> 00:09:52,270
You messed up, man!
234
00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:53,705
I thought you could handle this.
235
00:09:53,707 --> 00:09:55,974
You're supposed to be an executive.
236
00:09:58,145 --> 00:10:02,043
Stick around for more girthy
gossip right after the break.
237
00:10:02,716 --> 00:10:03,982
All right.
238
00:10:03,984 --> 00:10:06,685
Melon is in position.
239
00:10:06,687 --> 00:10:09,154
All we gotta do now is hit this button,
240
00:10:09,156 --> 00:10:10,589
and bonk! We're in business.
241
00:10:10,591 --> 00:10:12,758
Laura approaching.
242
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,793
All right. Let's do this.
243
00:10:17,264 --> 00:10:18,530
Oh, no! Wait!
244
00:10:18,532 --> 00:10:20,732
Um, we... we don't have enough power
245
00:10:20,734 --> 00:10:22,634
- to execute this sequence.
- What?
246
00:10:22,636 --> 00:10:26,238
We need to increase the voltage
to the valve coil,
247
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,839
which is sort of down there a bit.
248
00:10:27,841 --> 00:10:28,774
Oh. Oh, okay.
249
00:10:28,776 --> 00:10:30,142
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay, thank you.
250
00:10:30,144 --> 00:10:31,443
- Dream team.
- Whoo-hoo, yes.
251
00:10:44,625 --> 00:10:45,924
Huh.
252
00:10:45,926 --> 00:10:50,195
I couldn't find a breaker box
or anything resembling a...
253
00:10:51,298 --> 00:10:52,831
What the [BLEEP]!
254
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:55,467
What happened? Oh, no!
255
00:10:55,469 --> 00:10:56,835
Did it fall early?!
256
00:10:56,837 --> 00:10:59,271
Oh, what a disappointment for both of us.
257
00:11:00,808 --> 00:11:03,341
So, I had an idea for a sign
258
00:11:03,343 --> 00:11:05,410
involving their matching
pollen allergies.
259
00:11:05,412 --> 00:11:07,345
Did you do this?
260
00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:10,816
- Yes! Yes, yes!
- Why?
261
00:11:10,818 --> 00:11:12,350
Because I... If I can be extremely blunt,
262
00:11:12,352 --> 00:11:15,821
I just thought that your plan
was maybe possibly...
263
00:11:15,823 --> 00:11:16,888
Stupid. My plan was stupid.
264
00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:18,156
No. Is that what you're saying?
265
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:19,524
No, no, no, no, no.
266
00:11:19,526 --> 00:11:21,226
It's... It's just that, yesterday, you...
267
00:11:21,228 --> 00:11:23,261
you did cause that typhoon,
268
00:11:23,263 --> 00:11:25,597
which unfortunately
killed many people, and then,
269
00:11:25,599 --> 00:11:27,165
after that, you convinced God
to blow up the Earth,
270
00:11:27,167 --> 00:11:31,102
so I just think that a little
bit of caution is advisable.
271
00:11:31,104 --> 00:11:33,635
You're not cautious, Craig.
272
00:11:34,107 --> 00:11:35,440
You're a coward.
273
00:11:39,346 --> 00:11:40,979
Oh, shit. My melon.
274
00:11:40,981 --> 00:11:42,619
There goes our fruit salad.
275
00:11:42,783 --> 00:11:44,270
Barbara's gonna be furious.
276
00:11:51,425 --> 00:11:52,924
Oh.
277
00:11:52,926 --> 00:11:54,195
Good. There you are.
278
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:55,961
Um...
279
00:11:55,963 --> 00:11:58,830
can we go back downstairs
where it's not as dangerous
280
00:11:58,832 --> 00:12:01,204
and there's not ledges to stand near?
281
00:12:01,902 --> 00:12:03,802
Uh, right you are.
282
00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:10,709
I'm very sorry that I broke the melon.
283
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,344
It's fine.
284
00:12:12,346 --> 00:12:15,947
I was just trying to help, but, as usual,
285
00:12:15,949 --> 00:12:17,349
I made things worse.
286
00:12:17,351 --> 00:12:20,418
Eliza, you're down
on yourself, and I get it.
287
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:22,587
If the world explodes,
then you will go down
288
00:12:22,589 --> 00:12:24,189
as history's greatest murderer.
289
00:12:24,191 --> 00:12:25,991
- Nobody wants that.
- From now on,
290
00:12:25,993 --> 00:12:28,265
I am just going to stay out of the way.
291
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,661
No. Please no.
292
00:12:29,663 --> 00:12:32,364
- I need you in the way.
- Why?
293
00:12:32,366 --> 00:12:34,199
Because you were right about me.
294
00:12:34,201 --> 00:12:35,500
Right? I am not brave.
295
00:12:35,502 --> 00:12:37,769
Not even slightly. But you are.
296
00:12:37,771 --> 00:12:39,037
And... And that... That's...
297
00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:40,972
That's what Earth needs right now.
298
00:12:40,974 --> 00:12:43,909
And I certainly can't do this
without you.
299
00:12:46,079 --> 00:12:48,446
Also, I've been thinking
about it, and you were right.
300
00:12:48,448 --> 00:12:50,982
A Chance Encounter really might work.
301
00:12:50,984 --> 00:12:53,339
We just have to refine
the execution a bit.
302
00:12:54,388 --> 00:12:55,854
How?
303
00:12:55,856 --> 00:12:58,023
Well, I don't know yet,
but I was kind of hoping
304
00:12:58,025 --> 00:12:59,724
we could figure that out together.
305
00:13:05,299 --> 00:13:06,565
Okay.
306
00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:08,033
- Okay.
- Downstairs?
307
00:13:08,035 --> 00:13:09,267
Yes. Thank you,
308
00:13:09,269 --> 00:13:10,481
thank you.
309
00:13:16,877 --> 00:13:18,376
What the shit?!
310
00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:20,178
Oh, I-I-I can explain.
311
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:23,181
We pumped Bill Maher's glands
full of hormones in hopes
312
00:13:23,183 --> 00:13:26,484
that his penis would expand
and then pop like a balloon,
313
00:13:26,486 --> 00:13:29,588
and everything was going
smoothly, but then...
314
00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:30,919
What?!
315
00:13:31,325 --> 00:13:33,725
As Bill's penis became larger,
316
00:13:33,727 --> 00:13:36,528
it grew more... more beautiful.
317
00:13:36,530 --> 00:13:38,964
At a certain point, we realized
it would be immoral for us
318
00:13:38,966 --> 00:13:40,699
to destroy something so perfect.
319
00:13:40,701 --> 00:13:41,967
I don't care.
320
00:13:41,969 --> 00:13:43,501
This is coming from the top!
321
00:13:43,503 --> 00:13:44,933
Just blow it up!
322
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:49,441
With respect, we refuse.
323
00:13:49,443 --> 00:13:51,232
This isn't the Department of Anuses.
324
00:13:51,234 --> 00:13:52,996
We have integrity.
325
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:54,546
Okay, fine!
326
00:13:54,548 --> 00:13:56,527
I'll do it myself!
327
00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:59,064
Pump-O-Tron activated.
328
00:14:01,555 --> 00:14:03,254
Why isn't this working?
329
00:14:03,256 --> 00:14:05,390
You have to put your eyes up
to the eye hole,
330
00:14:05,392 --> 00:14:07,830
and, uh, stare at
the penis when you pump.
331
00:14:08,562 --> 00:14:09,791
Why?
332
00:14:10,410 --> 00:14:12,210
Uh, I don't...
333
00:14:15,036 --> 00:14:16,635
How many pumps is this gonna take?
334
00:14:16,660 --> 00:14:18,260
50,000.
335
00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:19,717
50,000?
336
00:14:21,087 --> 00:14:22,720
Yeah. 50,000.
337
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:29,414
1.
338
00:14:29,416 --> 00:14:31,216
2.
339
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:33,351
Okay, here's our target...
Bob's Hummus House.
340
00:14:33,353 --> 00:14:36,375
It's perfect... halfway between
Sam and Laura's apartments.
341
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,523
And, most importantly, it
serves their favorite food.
342
00:14:38,525 --> 00:14:40,025
Gyros.
343
00:14:40,027 --> 00:14:41,426
Let's get them there.
344
00:14:41,428 --> 00:14:43,886
First step... cut off their food supply.
345
00:14:43,888 --> 00:14:46,865
Oh. Dang.
346
00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:47,999
Laura's a little trickier.
347
00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:49,467
She never has any food in the house.
348
00:14:49,469 --> 00:14:50,769
Always orders in.
349
00:14:50,771 --> 00:14:53,104
Lucky for us, there's a simple fix.
350
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:56,141
We blow up the satellite
for her cellphone provider.
351
00:14:59,446 --> 00:15:00,812
Oh, dang.
352
00:15:00,814 --> 00:15:03,715
Nice work. Now to lure them in.
353
00:15:14,828 --> 00:15:17,362
Mmm, gye-ro.
354
00:15:18,899 --> 00:15:20,699
Mmm.
355
00:15:20,701 --> 00:15:22,267
Jai-ros.
356
00:15:24,004 --> 00:15:25,908
30 seconds to contact.
357
00:15:27,271 --> 00:15:29,040
Wait. Why is Sam stopping?
358
00:15:29,042 --> 00:15:30,909
Ooh, pizza.
359
00:15:30,911 --> 00:15:32,110
No, no, no. What?
360
00:15:32,112 --> 00:15:33,478
No, I've scanned the route three times.
361
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,447
Every place Sam likes
should be closed by now.
362
00:15:35,449 --> 00:15:37,615
No, something's happening
at Pizza Bongiorno.
363
00:15:37,617 --> 00:15:40,218
If you're just joining us,
comedian Bill Maher
364
00:15:40,220 --> 00:15:43,288
is dead after a tragic
and confusing incident
365
00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:46,424
that has shaken the world
of comedy and medicine.
366
00:15:46,426 --> 00:15:48,226
We have to close that shop. Now.
367
00:15:48,228 --> 00:15:50,328
Maher's family has announced
that the funeral
368
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,630
will "definitely be closed casket."
369
00:15:52,632 --> 00:15:55,066
Aaaah!
370
00:15:57,037 --> 00:15:58,269
I did it.
371
00:15:59,873 --> 00:16:01,539
It's done.
372
00:16:01,541 --> 00:16:04,743
Look. Look, he's turning back around.
373
00:16:04,745 --> 00:16:05,752
Yes!
374
00:16:05,754 --> 00:16:07,846
Awesome work. We're back on track.
375
00:16:07,848 --> 00:16:09,013
Thank you, and this pizza gentleman
376
00:16:09,015 --> 00:16:10,115
is gonna live, right?
377
00:16:10,117 --> 00:16:12,283
We are back on track.
378
00:16:18,825 --> 00:16:20,024
No! They're gonna miss each other!
379
00:16:20,026 --> 00:16:21,059
What do we do now?
380
00:16:21,061 --> 00:16:22,590
I've got an idea.
381
00:16:28,401 --> 00:16:29,868
Matching pollen allergies.
382
00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:31,024
You're good.
383
00:16:31,026 --> 00:16:32,433
Gesundheit.
384
00:16:33,194 --> 00:16:34,493
Sam?
385
00:16:34,518 --> 00:16:36,251
Laura?
386
00:16:36,476 --> 00:16:38,476
Wow.
387
00:16:40,046 --> 00:16:42,080
Now what?
388
00:16:42,082 --> 00:16:45,316
Now we just sit back
and watch the sparks fly.
389
00:16:52,993 --> 00:16:55,160
Remember the bathroom line at the party?
390
00:16:55,162 --> 00:16:57,095
Yeah, yeah.
391
00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:59,063
It was long.
392
00:16:59,065 --> 00:17:00,999
Ohh, no.
393
00:17:01,001 --> 00:17:02,467
- Not like here.
- Nope.
394
00:17:02,469 --> 00:17:05,981
There's... There's no bathroom line.
395
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,343
Nope.
396
00:17:08,108 --> 00:17:10,375
I can't watch this.
It's really hard to watch.
397
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:18,116
Can I maybe get your number? Do
you want to hang out sometime?
398
00:17:18,118 --> 00:17:19,417
Yes.
399
00:17:19,419 --> 00:17:20,218
What?! Yes!
400
00:17:20,220 --> 00:17:21,286
Yes! Go on!
401
00:17:21,288 --> 00:17:22,620
Oh, yes! Never in doubt!
402
00:17:22,622 --> 00:17:24,455
- Yes! Yeah!
- Yes!
403
00:17:24,457 --> 00:17:26,057
- Yes!
- Oh!
404
00:17:26,059 --> 00:17:27,192
- Go!
- Yes!
405
00:17:27,194 --> 00:17:28,906
Go, Sam and Laura.
406
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:32,197
Oh, thank you. Help yourself
to one of these. Oh, no.
407
00:17:32,199 --> 00:17:33,375
I'm gonna put you in your phone.
408
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,033
- My...
- Your...
409
00:17:35,035 --> 00:17:37,202
- I'm gonna put my name as "Sam."
- Sam. Yeah.
410
00:17:37,227 --> 00:17:39,971
All right, Sanjay!
411
00:17:39,973 --> 00:17:42,140
I hope you're proud. You look proud.
412
00:17:42,142 --> 00:17:44,342
Tell you what, I'm proud of you. Wow.
413
00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:47,745
I mean, I know
how much you hated Bill Maher.
414
00:17:47,747 --> 00:17:49,714
How much he hurt you.
415
00:17:49,716 --> 00:17:51,716
And it would've been so easy for you
416
00:17:51,718 --> 00:17:54,252
to just keep taking the hits,
night after night,
417
00:17:54,254 --> 00:17:55,854
special after special.
418
00:17:55,856 --> 00:17:57,255
But you stuck to your guns,
419
00:17:57,257 --> 00:18:00,313
and that's why you are
one heck of an executive.
420
00:18:01,094 --> 00:18:02,857
Thanks, God.
421
00:18:04,030 --> 00:18:05,463
All right.
422
00:18:05,465 --> 00:18:07,582
I hope you're hungry for some gumbo.
423
00:18:07,584 --> 00:18:08,891
What?
424
00:18:08,893 --> 00:18:10,268
Aah!
425
00:18:10,871 --> 00:18:12,403
For Lazy Susan's!
426
00:18:12,405 --> 00:18:14,205
Oh, I bet you thought I forget
about our restaurant.
427
00:18:14,207 --> 00:18:16,574
Now, don't worry. I am still all in,
428
00:18:16,576 --> 00:18:18,443
fully committed to our dream.
429
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:22,513
Now, I need you to taste-test
all of these gumbos immediately.
430
00:18:22,515 --> 00:18:25,617
They range from very thick
to almost solid.
431
00:18:25,619 --> 00:18:28,786
Can Rosie taste some of the gumbos?
I'm allergic.
432
00:18:28,788 --> 00:18:31,322
Well, that's more for you.
433
00:18:31,324 --> 00:18:34,826
Ah, love you, buddy. I love you.
434
00:18:34,828 --> 00:18:36,117
Uh-huh.
435
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,730
Oh, and let me know
if you find my tweezers.
436
00:18:38,732 --> 00:18:40,465
Oh, okay.
437
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,833
No, no, no, no.
438
00:18:41,835 --> 00:18:44,302
Rosie, Rosie. Rosie, this is ridiculous.
439
00:18:44,304 --> 00:18:46,104
Okay, I'm not even hungry.
440
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:48,139
I ate a full lunch.
441
00:18:48,141 --> 00:18:49,474
My arms are in a sling.
442
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,776
I've got to come at this mouth-first?!
443
00:18:51,778 --> 00:18:53,111
This is crazy!
444
00:18:53,113 --> 00:18:54,913
I'm an executive!
445
00:18:54,915 --> 00:18:58,349
Good morning, good morning.
How's it going?
446
00:18:58,351 --> 00:18:59,617
She's already texting him.
447
00:18:59,619 --> 00:19:01,185
Oh, nice.
448
00:19:01,187 --> 00:19:02,487
Oh, thanks.
449
00:19:10,096 --> 00:19:12,830
- Oh!
- I am so sorry.
450
00:19:12,832 --> 00:19:15,199
No, don't, uh...
451
00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:19,137
...worry about it.
452
00:19:19,139 --> 00:19:20,872
Who's this guy?
453
00:19:20,874 --> 00:19:22,240
I don't know.
454
00:19:22,242 --> 00:19:24,809
You know, it's funny. I...
455
00:19:24,811 --> 00:19:26,678
I ran in here to get out of the rain.
456
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:31,153
And once we started talking,
the rain stopped.
457
00:19:32,118 --> 00:19:33,990
Maybe it's a sign.
458
00:19:34,988 --> 00:19:36,120
Maybe.
459
00:19:36,122 --> 00:19:38,222
- Not a sign. Not a sign.
- No. No. How?
460
00:19:38,224 --> 00:19:40,725
- How would that be a sign?!
- It's not a [BLEEP] sign!
461
00:19:42,329 --> 00:19:44,395
Pizza-shop owner and philanthropist
462
00:19:44,397 --> 00:19:47,031
Vincent Alfonsi is fighting
for his life tonight
463
00:19:47,033 --> 00:19:48,700
after his appendix ruptured,
464
00:19:48,702 --> 00:19:52,603
leaving him stranded for hours
inside his darkened pizzeria.
465
00:19:52,605 --> 00:19:54,806
Alfonsi, known for the Thanksgiving pies
466
00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:58,042
that he distributes personally
to the city's neediest children,
467
00:19:58,044 --> 00:19:59,849
will never walk again.
468
00:19:59,851 --> 00:20:01,813
In my 20 years as a journalist,
469
00:20:01,815 --> 00:20:04,949
I've never seen such a beloved
community fixture suffer
470
00:20:04,951 --> 00:20:07,251
so randomly and horribly.
471
00:20:07,253 --> 00:20:09,493
It makes one question everything.
472
00:20:09,495 --> 00:20:10,922
Sports is next.
32730
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