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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,548 --> 00:00:07,215 Hey, happy Halloween, Mrs. B. 2 00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:08,783 Thanks. I love this holiday. 3 00:00:08,819 --> 00:00:10,619 It is so spooky. 4 00:00:10,654 --> 00:00:13,421 Um, hey, could one of you 5 00:00:13,457 --> 00:00:16,291 grab my mug out of the microwave? 6 00:00:16,326 --> 00:00:19,194 Yeah. I'll get it. 7 00:00:19,229 --> 00:00:21,196 Kyle, you're gonna open the door and whatever creature 8 00:00:21,231 --> 00:00:23,565 was on sale at Halloween Town is gonna be in there. 9 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,866 Probably a rat. 10 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:26,768 What? No. 11 00:00:26,803 --> 00:00:28,637 Oh! 12 00:00:31,274 --> 00:00:32,974 Sorry. 13 00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:35,910 I was expecting a rat. 14 00:00:35,946 --> 00:00:38,747 I love you, Mom, but your Halloween pranks are lame. 15 00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:41,616 Lame? There's a head in the microwave. 16 00:00:41,652 --> 00:00:44,786 Yeah, see? Some people appreciate a good prank. 17 00:00:44,821 --> 00:00:46,421 Oh, well, Kyle's easy. 18 00:00:46,456 --> 00:00:48,757 Almost as easy as you. You fall for everything. 19 00:00:48,792 --> 00:00:50,458 No, I don't. G-Give me one example. 20 00:00:50,494 --> 00:00:51,660 - Boo! - (Screams) 21 00:00:53,697 --> 00:00:57,632 You know what? That is not a prank, that is just rude. 22 00:00:57,668 --> 00:00:59,734 But stick around, this might be the year 23 00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:02,737 I pull off the greatest prank ever. 24 00:01:02,773 --> 00:01:05,273 Oh, we can't. We're taking Kristin and Ryan 25 00:01:05,308 --> 00:01:08,176 to the creepy abandoned trailer Kyle inherited from his mom. 26 00:01:08,211 --> 00:01:11,079 - We're having a s?ance. - Yeah. 27 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:14,482 I just hope we don't conjure up my mom. 28 00:01:14,518 --> 00:01:18,119 Even as a ghost, she'll probably still ask for beer money. 29 00:01:19,389 --> 00:01:20,989 Fine, well, it'll just be me tonight, 30 00:01:21,024 --> 00:01:23,591 - home alone, handing out candy. - Yeah, yeah. 31 00:01:23,627 --> 00:01:25,927 Always starts with candy. Then they'll expect 32 00:01:25,962 --> 00:01:29,097 money, jobs, health care. Sure. 33 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:32,000 Trick-or-treating: the gateway drug to socialism. 34 00:01:33,637 --> 00:01:35,637 Yeah, you said the same thing about Santa Claus. 35 00:01:35,672 --> 00:01:38,139 You called him the welfare king of the north. 36 00:01:38,175 --> 00:01:41,109 Specifically, the Santa at the mall. The real Santa 37 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,144 makes you work for it with naughty and nice lists. 38 00:01:43,180 --> 00:01:46,815 I know about this. Don't ask me how. 39 00:01:46,850 --> 00:01:47,849 I can't believe you are abandoning me 40 00:01:47,884 --> 00:01:49,718 on my favorite holiday. 41 00:01:49,753 --> 00:01:51,553 Honey, I told you this. We're testing the security system. 42 00:01:51,588 --> 00:01:52,954 Tonight's the perfect night, 'cause no one's 43 00:01:52,989 --> 00:01:54,355 - gonna be at the store. - All right, Kyle, 44 00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:56,391 let's go. We got a s?ance to host. 45 00:01:56,426 --> 00:01:58,960 You know, if we could talk to anybody who's dead, 46 00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:02,330 - I'd pick Pee-wee Herman. - What? 47 00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,866 Babe, he's not dead. 48 00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,067 Oh. 49 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:09,404 Well, he is awfully pale. 50 00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:12,574 - (Laughs) - Look, I know you want me home 51 00:02:12,609 --> 00:02:14,809 because you want to prank me, but, honey, I got to admit, 52 00:02:14,845 --> 00:02:16,978 your pranks just aren't working anymore, okay? 53 00:02:17,013 --> 00:02:19,247 Mm, yeah, you're right, you're right. Why do I even try? 54 00:02:19,282 --> 00:02:21,082 Hey, uh... 55 00:02:21,118 --> 00:02:23,852 could you get my mug out of the microwave? 56 00:02:28,525 --> 00:02:30,558 Okay. 57 00:02:31,628 --> 00:02:33,094 Ooh. 58 00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:41,068 Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen www.addic7ed.com 59 00:02:45,208 --> 00:02:47,108 Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man. 60 00:02:47,144 --> 00:02:49,744 In America, our calendar is marked by special days. 61 00:02:49,780 --> 00:02:53,081 Um... the day we celebrate our freedom, July Fourth. 62 00:02:53,116 --> 00:02:55,183 The day we express our gratitude, Thanksgiving. 63 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,919 And there's the day we all get the crap scared out of us 64 00:02:57,954 --> 00:03:01,055 by bloodsucking vampires, Tax Day. 65 00:03:02,425 --> 00:03:04,292 Of course, Halloween can also be scary. 66 00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:05,927 In fact, many of us... 67 00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:09,464 it taps into our deepest, deepest, darkest fears: 68 00:03:09,499 --> 00:03:13,034 other people's children coming to our house. 69 00:03:13,069 --> 00:03:16,104 If you're like me, you'd actually prefer zombies. 70 00:03:16,139 --> 00:03:18,206 As a culture, we've always loved scaring each other. 71 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,808 We build elaborate haunted houses. 72 00:03:19,843 --> 00:03:21,476 And how do we know that they're working? 73 00:03:21,511 --> 00:03:23,444 (Laughing): We make little kids cry. 74 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:25,046 What a country. 75 00:03:25,081 --> 00:03:26,714 That's right, we try to convince our children 76 00:03:26,750 --> 00:03:29,217 the world is a safe place, and once a year we scream, 77 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:32,554 "No, it's not! Boo!" 78 00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:35,723 On Halloween, our nation abandons the war on terror 79 00:03:35,759 --> 00:03:37,892 to wage a war of terror 80 00:03:37,928 --> 00:03:40,161 on our loved ones. 81 00:03:40,197 --> 00:03:41,996 For some reason, there's nothing better 82 00:03:42,032 --> 00:03:44,232 than seeing those nearest and dearest to us 83 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,633 standing in a puddle of... 84 00:03:45,669 --> 00:03:48,236 of what we hope are tears. 85 00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,138 Of course, this year's most terrifying haunted house 86 00:03:50,173 --> 00:03:52,173 won't open till a week after Halloween. 87 00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:54,609 It's called the House of Representatives. 88 00:03:55,679 --> 00:03:56,945 (Sighs) 89 00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:58,613 Baxter out. 90 00:04:01,651 --> 00:04:03,318 Got to hand it to you, Mandy... 91 00:04:03,353 --> 00:04:06,421 you picked the perfect place to host a s?ance. 92 00:04:06,456 --> 00:04:09,123 - Or contract hepatitis. - We have to 93 00:04:09,159 --> 00:04:11,259 untether our spirits from this plane, 94 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,995 so everyone must empty their minds. 95 00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,597 Done. 96 00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:17,832 You bring the candles? 97 00:04:17,868 --> 00:04:21,469 Oh, yeah, brought the, uh, Bernie Sanders. 98 00:04:21,504 --> 00:04:23,805 Keep the flame alive. 99 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:25,840 I'm so glad you agreed to join us, hon. 100 00:04:25,876 --> 00:04:28,509 I know you had your heart set on Halloween trivia night. 101 00:04:28,545 --> 00:04:31,279 Yeah, it's okay. I've actually, uh, never done a s?ance. 102 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:34,782 You know, the word "s?ance" is French for "session." 103 00:04:34,818 --> 00:04:37,619 Five points for Vogelson. 104 00:04:37,654 --> 00:04:40,722 There's a little preview of the bullet you dodged. 105 00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,824 Oh, I dodged a bullet once. 106 00:04:42,859 --> 00:04:45,293 See? 107 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:48,229 Shh! Everyone take a seat. 108 00:04:48,265 --> 00:04:50,665 Prepare to summon the spirit 109 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,867 of the great Angelo Santucci. 110 00:04:52,903 --> 00:04:54,302 The great who? 111 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:55,904 He was an Italian fashion designer 112 00:04:55,939 --> 00:04:57,906 famous for his all-white suits. 113 00:04:57,941 --> 00:05:00,008 He died in an avalanche in the Alps. 114 00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:02,176 He was very hard to find. 115 00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:04,212 That's one case where a pair of black socks 116 00:05:04,247 --> 00:05:06,314 could've saved a life. 117 00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:08,182 You know, the Alps are the highest mountain range 118 00:05:08,218 --> 00:05:11,252 in Europe. Their world ranking, though? Number 11. 119 00:05:11,288 --> 00:05:14,222 Another five points and a commanding lead for Vogelson. 120 00:05:15,625 --> 00:05:17,125 Let's join hands. 121 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:21,162 Oh, spirit world. 122 00:05:21,197 --> 00:05:22,864 We humbly ask you to bring forward 123 00:05:22,899 --> 00:05:24,832 the spirit of Angelo Santucci. 124 00:05:24,868 --> 00:05:27,101 Or Patrick Swayze. 125 00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,604 If the spirit world is open to this invitation, 126 00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:32,407 reveal unto us a sign. 127 00:05:32,442 --> 00:05:34,442 (Sirens chirps) 128 00:05:38,281 --> 00:05:41,049 Uh, if this is a sign, it's a bad one. 129 00:05:45,055 --> 00:05:47,088 All right, all the monitors check out. 130 00:05:47,123 --> 00:05:49,357 Thanks for coming up here to help, Baxter. 131 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:51,092 It's fine with me. I like this stuff, you know, 132 00:05:51,127 --> 00:05:52,927 I'm a techie guy. 133 00:05:52,963 --> 00:05:55,930 Now, I was worried it was just because you wanted to prank me, 134 00:05:55,966 --> 00:05:57,966 it being Halloween and all. 135 00:05:58,001 --> 00:06:00,034 Well... I only prank people I like. 136 00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,403 Oh. 137 00:06:02,439 --> 00:06:05,406 Oh, that's right. So, in that case... 138 00:06:05,442 --> 00:06:08,376 I guess I wasted 20 bucks. 139 00:06:08,411 --> 00:06:10,812 It's hard to tell which is which. 140 00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:12,313 (Laughs) 141 00:06:12,349 --> 00:06:15,750 Hey, hey, Baxter, I thought we were alone. 142 00:06:15,785 --> 00:06:17,285 There's something moving down there 143 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,253 and it's coming up the stairs. 144 00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:22,090 Ooh! Didn't we just agree we weren't gonna prank each other? 145 00:06:22,125 --> 00:06:25,085 No, no, no, no, no. It's not a prank. Whatever it is, - Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. 146 00:06:25,095 --> 00:06:28,096 - It's big and it's got a giant head. - Whoa. 147 00:06:28,131 --> 00:06:29,964 - Hey, guys, what's up? - Whoa, whoa. 148 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,133 What are you doing here, Joe? Everybody else left 149 00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:33,901 to be home with their families hours ago. 150 00:06:33,937 --> 00:06:35,636 I'm not going home. I hate Halloween. 151 00:06:35,672 --> 00:06:37,505 - Really? I love it. - Yeah, 152 00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:39,674 - you know who else loves it? - Uh, kids? 153 00:06:39,709 --> 00:06:41,809 Satan. No, I'm serious, okay? 154 00:06:41,845 --> 00:06:43,778 Demon and hellspawn get to freely roam the earth 155 00:06:43,813 --> 00:06:45,747 one night a year, and I'm supposed to, what, 156 00:06:45,782 --> 00:06:48,316 open the door and give them a bonbon? 157 00:06:48,351 --> 00:06:49,817 If you don't want demons at your door, 158 00:06:49,853 --> 00:06:51,285 don't give 'em the good stuff. 159 00:06:51,321 --> 00:06:54,689 I'm telling you, Satan hates candy corn. 160 00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:56,324 You know, I hope you're still laughing when you have 161 00:06:56,359 --> 00:06:59,327 a flaming pitchfork in your ass, okay? 162 00:06:59,362 --> 00:07:01,462 Look, I'll be in the garage. I'm working on my car. 163 00:07:01,498 --> 00:07:03,498 Y-You're gonna feel safe all alone down there? 164 00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,867 Oh, yeah, I'm packing. 165 00:07:05,902 --> 00:07:08,336 I got a squirt gun filled with holy water. 166 00:07:13,009 --> 00:07:14,375 (Chuckles) 167 00:07:14,411 --> 00:07:16,511 Phew. 168 00:07:16,546 --> 00:07:19,814 You know, when we said we weren't gonna prank each other, 169 00:07:19,849 --> 00:07:21,549 we just meant you and I, right? 170 00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:25,853 Oh, yeah. 171 00:07:37,455 --> 00:07:38,654 Hey, Joe. 172 00:07:38,690 --> 00:07:40,790 Freeze, demons! 173 00:07:40,825 --> 00:07:43,426 Are you guys insane? I almost blasted you! 174 00:07:43,461 --> 00:07:45,828 Yeah, we're lucky. We almost got wet. 175 00:07:45,863 --> 00:07:47,830 Yeah, go ahead, make your jokes, have your fun. 176 00:07:47,865 --> 00:07:49,532 Hey, we're not here to make fun of you, Joe. We're here 177 00:07:49,567 --> 00:07:51,100 to tell you something very important. 178 00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:52,768 What's that? 179 00:07:52,804 --> 00:07:54,036 - We get it, all right? - Yeah. 180 00:07:54,072 --> 00:07:55,805 We were just goofing around upstairs 181 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:57,640 'cause we wanted to make sure that you were serious 182 00:07:57,675 --> 00:08:00,209 - about you said about Halloween. - And, obviously, you are. 183 00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:02,211 I mean, it's-it's creepy, right? 184 00:08:02,247 --> 00:08:04,213 Worse than creepy, man... it's dark, it's evil, 185 00:08:04,249 --> 00:08:06,415 it's like voodoo or-or kale. 186 00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:09,290 It's actually the reason why Chuck and I 187 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,020 - are here tonight. - Mm-hmm. 188 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:13,155 I thought you were down here putting in motion detectors. 189 00:08:13,191 --> 00:08:16,158 Motion detectors? We... I don't think this is a good idea. 190 00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:18,361 You know, I trust him, and-and we're gonna need his help. 191 00:08:18,396 --> 00:08:19,528 You're gonna tell him the whole story? He's not gonna believe 192 00:08:19,564 --> 00:08:21,998 - this whole story. Just... - I got to try, Mike. 193 00:08:23,835 --> 00:08:26,702 Listen, Joe. 194 00:08:26,738 --> 00:08:29,839 This store was built on what was, many years ago, 195 00:08:29,874 --> 00:08:31,741 an old insane asylum. 196 00:08:31,776 --> 00:08:34,477 Oh, please, and what was that called, The Outdoor Loony Bin? 197 00:08:34,512 --> 00:08:36,345 I told you he wasn't gonna believe this. Never mind, Joe. 198 00:08:36,381 --> 00:08:38,681 - Let's just handle this ourselves. - Okay. 199 00:08:41,519 --> 00:08:43,853 All right, okay, hang on, hang on. 200 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:49,225 Let's say there's something to this whole... 201 00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:51,560 nuthouse story. 202 00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:54,430 100 years ago, 203 00:08:54,465 --> 00:08:56,666 on this very night, on Halloween, 204 00:08:56,701 --> 00:08:59,068 a madman bound with chains was brought in. 205 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:02,505 A madman who claimed to be a prince. 206 00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:04,874 Yeah. 207 00:09:04,909 --> 00:09:06,542 A prince. And when they asked him, 208 00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:08,110 "What-what country are you prince of?" 209 00:09:08,146 --> 00:09:12,048 his-his reply was, "A kingdom is not a country." 210 00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:14,850 'Cause he claimed to be the prince... 211 00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:18,387 Of darkness? 212 00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:22,024 - The man... - Or whatever he was. 213 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:25,061 ...was locked in the deepest, darkest cell of the asylum. 214 00:09:25,096 --> 00:09:28,931 Everyone was terrified to open that door again, so they didn't. 215 00:09:28,966 --> 00:09:31,434 Ever. 216 00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,036 And that door is in the basement of Outdoor Man. 217 00:09:34,072 --> 00:09:36,072 Every Halloween, Mike and I close the store early 218 00:09:36,107 --> 00:09:38,441 so we can make sure that door stays sealed. 219 00:09:38,476 --> 00:09:40,409 Why do you need my help? 220 00:09:41,979 --> 00:09:45,281 Well, according to my demonic motion detector... 221 00:09:45,316 --> 00:09:47,883 There's an app for that? 222 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:50,086 Whatever's behind that door 223 00:09:50,121 --> 00:09:52,621 is trying to get out. 224 00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:58,127 Vanessa: Wow! 225 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:01,430 Happy Halloween! Gosh, I love your costumes. 226 00:10:01,466 --> 00:10:03,132 Here, anybody else want a toothbrush? 227 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:06,302 Right? No, no, it's candy. It's... Come on, it's candy. 228 00:10:06,337 --> 00:10:08,771 All right, well, seriously, brush afterwards. 229 00:10:08,806 --> 00:10:10,740 Oh, my! Wow. 230 00:10:10,775 --> 00:10:12,475 Look at you. You're very scary. 231 00:10:12,510 --> 00:10:14,143 Can I have extra? The police blocked off the street 232 00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,778 down at the Kirkpatricks' house. 233 00:10:15,813 --> 00:10:18,581 What? No, my grandson's at a sleepover there. 234 00:10:18,616 --> 00:10:20,449 - Here, take this. I got to go... - Got you, Grandma! 235 00:10:20,485 --> 00:10:22,785 Aunt Mandy said you're easy to prank. 236 00:10:22,820 --> 00:10:26,122 I am not easy to prank! 237 00:10:26,157 --> 00:10:28,791 Oh, wait a minute, where's the bowl? Where's the-the... 238 00:10:28,826 --> 00:10:32,728 Boyd! You! I know where you live! 239 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:36,966 Here she comes. 240 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,772 Uh, happy Halloween, Officer. 241 00:10:42,807 --> 00:10:45,274 What are you folks doing on this property? 242 00:10:45,309 --> 00:10:46,942 Uh, we're having a s?ance. 243 00:10:46,978 --> 00:10:48,611 You're aware that you're trespassing? 244 00:10:48,646 --> 00:10:51,213 Actually, uh, we're not. This is his trailer. 245 00:10:51,249 --> 00:10:53,816 Yeah, it used to belong to my mom, Judith Anderson. 246 00:10:53,851 --> 00:10:55,384 You may have met her. 247 00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:58,120 She spent a lot of time with your organization. 248 00:10:58,156 --> 00:11:00,055 Is there a problem, Officer? I happen to know 249 00:11:00,091 --> 00:11:01,457 a lot about citizens' rights. 250 00:11:01,492 --> 00:11:04,727 I'm a, uh, marijuana dealer. 251 00:11:04,762 --> 00:11:07,496 I'll need to see everyone's IDs. 252 00:11:07,532 --> 00:11:10,366 Oh, funny thing. Uh, we had to leave our wallets and phones 253 00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:12,168 in Kyle's van, because apparently, 254 00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:15,371 they "interfere with the spiritual gateway." (Chuckles) 255 00:11:15,406 --> 00:11:17,807 You know what, I'll just run to the van and get the IDs. 256 00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:19,508 If you're talking about the van on the frontage road, 257 00:11:19,544 --> 00:11:20,843 we just towed it. 258 00:11:20,878 --> 00:11:22,812 It was parked in front of a hydrant. 259 00:11:22,847 --> 00:11:25,815 That was a hydrant? It was wearing a witch's hat. 260 00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:27,550 Still a hydrant. 261 00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,719 If you don't have IDs, I have to take you all in. 262 00:11:30,755 --> 00:11:33,422 (Laughs) Wait a minute. 263 00:11:33,458 --> 00:11:35,057 This isn't real. 264 00:11:35,092 --> 00:11:37,059 I told Mom that she was terrible at pranks, 265 00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:40,229 and all of a sudden, we're gonna to be taken in by a "lady cop"? 266 00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,564 (Laughs) 267 00:11:41,599 --> 00:11:44,266 Mom's totally trying to up her game. 268 00:11:44,302 --> 00:11:47,503 Yeah. Hey, aren't you in Mrs. B's book club? 269 00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:50,873 The one who reads the least, but drinks the most? 270 00:11:52,910 --> 00:11:55,711 - Guys, I think she might be a real cop. - I am. 271 00:11:55,746 --> 00:11:58,230 Yeah, her squad car certainly looks real. 272 00:11:58,261 --> 00:11:58,881 It is. 273 00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:02,284 - Are we going for a ride? - You are. 274 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,920 You're about to be a part of a whole different book club. 275 00:12:04,956 --> 00:12:06,956 Come on, now. 276 00:12:15,566 --> 00:12:17,633 Oh, the door's already open! 277 00:12:17,668 --> 00:12:19,702 I thought this was just a storage room. 278 00:12:19,737 --> 00:12:21,704 I didn't realize it was the gateway to hell. 279 00:12:21,739 --> 00:12:23,913 You should've put up a sign or something. 280 00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:27,810 It can't be obvious, otherwise his acolytes would know where to find him. 281 00:12:27,845 --> 00:12:30,479 Oh, yeah, that makes sense, yeah. 282 00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,114 Did you hear that? 283 00:12:32,149 --> 00:12:34,650 It just got colder. 284 00:12:34,685 --> 00:12:36,605 Can you not say it that way, with the deep voice? 285 00:12:36,621 --> 00:12:38,587 It just makes everything sound scarier. 286 00:12:38,623 --> 00:12:39,922 Yeah, it's like we're fighting evil 287 00:12:39,957 --> 00:12:42,558 - with Barry White. - Yeah. 288 00:12:42,593 --> 00:12:45,194 I've been talking like this since I was 11. 289 00:12:46,631 --> 00:12:48,998 Early puberty. 290 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,733 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. 291 00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:52,334 Think I'm getting a reading, right there, right there. 292 00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,336 It's hot! W-What do we do, what do we do, what do we do? 293 00:12:54,372 --> 00:12:56,238 Look, I'm not going near that door, okay? 294 00:12:56,274 --> 00:12:59,808 I'll see the devil on the day I die, and-and not a day before. 295 00:12:59,844 --> 00:13:02,444 We have a responsibility. 296 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,813 We're the last line of defense between this abomination 297 00:13:04,849 --> 00:13:06,415 and the rest of humanity. 298 00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:09,184 Who knows what darkness lies behind that door? 299 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,086 Joe, you go in. 300 00:13:11,122 --> 00:13:13,455 Didn't you just hear me say... (Stammers) the day I die? 301 00:13:13,491 --> 00:13:15,457 I'll go. This is the day 302 00:13:15,493 --> 00:13:17,660 I've been training for my whole life. 303 00:13:19,230 --> 00:13:20,329 Wish me luck. 304 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:21,664 Chuck. 305 00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:24,500 You're gonna need more than luck. 306 00:13:24,535 --> 00:13:26,368 You're gonna need this. 307 00:13:27,405 --> 00:13:28,470 Thanks, Joe. 308 00:13:33,678 --> 00:13:36,412 - Take it easy, take it easy. - Quiet. 309 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:41,016 (Grunting) 310 00:13:41,052 --> 00:13:43,018 Mike, it's got me! 311 00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:45,220 Oh, my God, he's being dragged to the bowels of hell! 312 00:13:45,256 --> 00:13:47,222 No, no, we can't... you can't save him. 313 00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,158 - Not today, Satan! - We got to save ourselves! 314 00:13:49,193 --> 00:13:50,693 (Screaming) 315 00:13:54,899 --> 00:13:56,865 (Laughing) 316 00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:58,400 We got you, man. 317 00:14:00,738 --> 00:14:02,871 Mike: Oh, that's great. Oh, that's a great prank, 318 00:14:02,907 --> 00:14:04,740 man, it's... Oh, it's... oh, it was just me 319 00:14:04,775 --> 00:14:07,242 trying to scare you, man. Take it easy, breathe a little bit. 320 00:14:07,278 --> 00:14:09,378 - I got a pain in my arm, man. - What? 321 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,413 I got a pain in my ar... 322 00:14:19,473 --> 00:14:22,274 Joe, J, Joe. I-I... I think the dude had a heart attack. 323 00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:24,476 - Well, give him CPR. - He's not even breathing. 324 00:14:24,512 --> 00:14:26,612 - Well, give him mouth-to-mouth. - I don't want to. 325 00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:28,447 Man, get out of the way. 326 00:14:28,482 --> 00:14:30,349 The man is dying. 327 00:14:30,384 --> 00:14:32,284 Okay, Joe. I got you, man. 328 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,620 You might want to try a breath mint. 329 00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:35,955 (Laughs) 330 00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:44,263 And that is how you do a prank! 331 00:14:44,298 --> 00:14:45,865 - Yeah! - Yes! 332 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:48,100 Wh... You... you set me up? 333 00:14:48,135 --> 00:14:49,936 That's right, I set you up by having you think 334 00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:51,470 we were setting him up. 335 00:14:51,505 --> 00:14:53,072 In your face. 336 00:14:54,675 --> 00:14:55,975 An insane asylum. 337 00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:58,277 How dumb do you think I am? (Laughs) 338 00:14:58,312 --> 00:15:01,013 Apparently not as dumb as Mike thinks I am. 339 00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:04,550 It's not about which one of you is dumber, it's how smart I am. 340 00:15:04,585 --> 00:15:07,319 Man, this is low, Baxter, even for you. 341 00:15:07,355 --> 00:15:09,531 Oh, when I... when you go low, I go lower. 342 00:15:09,562 --> 00:15:10,189 (Laughs) 343 00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:12,524 I can't believe you thought this was funny. 344 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,194 Uh, I didn't. He's my bo... I-I just went along. 345 00:15:15,229 --> 00:15:17,897 (Scoffs) You know what? I'm leaving, you guys. 346 00:15:17,932 --> 00:15:20,532 - Just enjoy the rest of your Halloween. - Oh, come on. (Chuckles) 347 00:15:21,502 --> 00:15:22,835 He seemed upset. 348 00:15:22,870 --> 00:15:24,203 Eh, I'd be upset, too... he almost 349 00:15:24,238 --> 00:15:26,238 kissed an old Italian woman. 350 00:15:29,944 --> 00:15:33,012 Wow, nice costume. 351 00:15:33,047 --> 00:15:35,681 But aren't you a little old to be trick-or-treating? 352 00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:37,149 Here. 353 00:15:37,184 --> 00:15:39,985 Why does everyone think this is a costume? 354 00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,922 Ma'am, I picked up four individuals tonight 355 00:15:42,957 --> 00:15:45,257 who were trespassing in an abandoned trailer. 356 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:48,160 Mm-hmm. 357 00:15:48,195 --> 00:15:50,596 Does a Kyle Anderson live here? 358 00:15:50,631 --> 00:15:54,333 Oh, I don't know that name. 359 00:15:54,368 --> 00:15:57,269 Then why are you smiling? 360 00:15:57,305 --> 00:16:00,372 I just love Halloween. 361 00:16:00,408 --> 00:16:03,175 Anyway, Mr. Anderson's in my squad car. 362 00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:06,612 He's the one happily waving at us. 363 00:16:06,647 --> 00:16:09,415 Says he and his wife live here, and that the deed to the trailer 364 00:16:09,450 --> 00:16:12,184 is inside, which would prove they weren't trespassing. 365 00:16:12,219 --> 00:16:13,385 Is this true? 366 00:16:13,421 --> 00:16:16,388 No. 367 00:16:16,424 --> 00:16:18,257 And you can tell whoever's in that car 368 00:16:18,292 --> 00:16:20,092 that I'm not falling for their trick. 369 00:16:20,127 --> 00:16:22,394 They must have me mistaken for someone 370 00:16:22,430 --> 00:16:25,030 who is easy to prank. 371 00:16:25,066 --> 00:16:27,566 Are you sure you don't know them? 372 00:16:27,601 --> 00:16:29,768 It seems like you do. 373 00:16:29,804 --> 00:16:31,737 (Laughs) 374 00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:34,540 I'm sure. Look, are we done here? 375 00:16:34,575 --> 00:16:35,941 Because it's Halloween, 376 00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:38,644 and I have a lot of work to do, "Officer." 377 00:16:38,679 --> 00:16:40,245 (Laughs) 378 00:16:40,281 --> 00:16:42,681 I hate this holiday. 379 00:16:45,953 --> 00:16:48,087 What do you want, Baxter? 380 00:16:48,122 --> 00:16:50,322 You're not answering my phone calls, man. 381 00:16:50,358 --> 00:16:53,092 Whatever. If you came over to apologize, 382 00:16:53,127 --> 00:16:55,094 you're wasting your time. 383 00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:58,998 I'm not wasting my time, 'cause I'm not apologizing. 384 00:16:59,033 --> 00:17:01,153 You're being a big crybaby. You're sucking all the joy 385 00:17:01,168 --> 00:17:03,502 - out of Halloween. - (Scoffs) You're incredible. 386 00:17:03,537 --> 00:17:06,405 I think I'm pretty incredible, too. 387 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,807 Took me a week to figure that out. And it was pretty funny 388 00:17:08,843 --> 00:17:10,309 when you thought we were pranking Joe. 389 00:17:10,344 --> 00:17:12,411 - That's different. - Why is that different? 390 00:17:12,446 --> 00:17:16,148 Y-You were willing to let me think I'd killed a man. 391 00:17:16,183 --> 00:17:18,450 Not killed. Massive heart attack. 392 00:17:21,489 --> 00:17:24,189 That's a huge thing to lay on a person, man. 393 00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:25,424 You crossed a line. 394 00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,126 Stop being so sensitive. In a week, 395 00:17:27,161 --> 00:17:29,128 we'll both be laughing at it. At least, I will be. 396 00:17:30,531 --> 00:17:31,964 Are we good? 397 00:17:31,999 --> 00:17:33,699 I guess I have to be. 398 00:17:33,734 --> 00:17:35,654 - Why do you have to be? - 'Cause you're my boss. 399 00:17:35,669 --> 00:17:36,669 - Oh, stop it. - Oh, no, no. 400 00:17:36,704 --> 00:17:38,537 Whatever you do, I just have to take it. 401 00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:40,739 Oh, call HR. 402 00:17:42,209 --> 00:17:43,675 You only got to do what I got to do. 403 00:17:43,711 --> 00:17:45,544 I mean, we hang out when we're not at work. 404 00:17:45,579 --> 00:17:47,479 Oh, oh, oh, oh... so you're-you're saying 405 00:17:47,515 --> 00:17:50,849 we're friends, right? That-that you like me? 406 00:17:53,054 --> 00:17:55,687 You... y-you shouldn't 407 00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:58,323 put words in people's mouths. 408 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,125 Good-bye, Baxter. 409 00:18:00,161 --> 00:18:01,560 (Stammers): W-Wait a minute, you mean I can't leave here 410 00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:03,962 until I-I, I say w-what you said? 411 00:18:03,998 --> 00:18:05,531 That's right. 412 00:18:05,566 --> 00:18:09,301 And remember, I'm sensitive. 413 00:18:09,336 --> 00:18:11,303 Okay, you know what, there's-there's a lot of d-days, 414 00:18:11,338 --> 00:18:13,739 - you come to work, and I like it - Mm-hmm... 415 00:18:13,774 --> 00:18:17,476 when you're there, even though you don't bring donuts. Right? 416 00:18:17,511 --> 00:18:18,977 So that would prove 417 00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:21,747 that we're f-friend... ly. 418 00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:25,217 Friendly? 419 00:18:25,252 --> 00:18:27,319 All right, we're friends. 420 00:18:27,354 --> 00:18:29,154 Can I go now? 421 00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,390 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait hang on, hang on. 422 00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:33,025 What level of friends are we? 423 00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:35,327 - No, no, no... Come on. - No, no, no. Wait, wait. 424 00:18:35,362 --> 00:18:37,429 Are we acquaintance friends, good friends? 425 00:18:37,465 --> 00:18:38,664 'Cause we're gonna have to be pretty close 426 00:18:38,699 --> 00:18:40,566 for me to get over this. 427 00:18:40,601 --> 00:18:42,534 - Okay. - Hmm. 428 00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:45,404 But if I hear you say anything to anybody about this, 429 00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:47,372 I will kick you in the Barry Whites. 430 00:18:51,879 --> 00:18:53,178 We... 431 00:18:53,214 --> 00:18:56,682 You're one of my best friends. 432 00:18:56,717 --> 00:18:59,351 Oh. How about that? 433 00:18:59,386 --> 00:19:01,601 Mike Baxter, man of stone, 434 00:19:01,632 --> 00:19:02,788 Yeah, yeah. 435 00:19:02,823 --> 00:19:06,425 is a mushball. (Chuckles) 436 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:08,961 I didn't think we'd ever get you to say that. 437 00:19:10,231 --> 00:19:11,697 Wh... W-Why did you say "we"? 438 00:19:11,732 --> 00:19:13,699 Yes! 439 00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:15,501 (Laughing) 440 00:19:19,473 --> 00:19:21,273 Yes! 441 00:19:21,308 --> 00:19:23,075 Best prank ever! 442 00:19:24,178 --> 00:19:25,577 And I was the mastermind. 443 00:19:25,613 --> 00:19:29,348 Oh, yeah. Me. Yeah, in your face. 444 00:19:30,985 --> 00:19:33,752 - Wait a minute. You did this? - No, we did it. 445 00:19:33,787 --> 00:19:36,588 Last week, I heard you on the phone with Joe setting up 446 00:19:36,624 --> 00:19:39,825 your fake prank on him, so you could actually prank Chuck. 447 00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:43,929 So then I called Chuck to set up this real prank on you. 448 00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:46,637 Yeah, that's right. That's right. 449 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:50,335 I am the prank queen! 450 00:19:50,371 --> 00:19:51,937 (Laughs) 451 00:19:51,972 --> 00:19:54,439 It was genius, because what is the scariest thing 452 00:19:54,475 --> 00:19:55,674 to Mike Baxter? 453 00:19:55,709 --> 00:19:58,177 - Human emotion. - Human emotion. 454 00:19:58,212 --> 00:20:01,446 - Yes! - (Laughs) 455 00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:03,175 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Yes, thank you. 456 00:20:03,206 --> 00:20:03,782 Oh, thank you. 457 00:20:03,817 --> 00:20:05,997 Yeah, see, I'm not clapping for you guys, I'm clapping for me. 458 00:20:06,028 --> 00:20:06,585 Chuck: What? 459 00:20:06,620 --> 00:20:08,520 'Cause I think this is a really big deal for me. 460 00:20:08,556 --> 00:20:09,136 What? 461 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:11,456 I did good work here. I took a great woman... 462 00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:13,458 kind, big-hearted... added a little evil. 463 00:20:13,494 --> 00:20:15,460 This might be some of my best work. 464 00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:17,663 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 465 00:20:17,698 --> 00:20:19,364 No, no. You can't take credit for this. 466 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,767 This is mine. 467 00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:22,834 Is it? 468 00:20:24,705 --> 00:20:27,873 What if it isn't done yet? 469 00:20:27,908 --> 00:20:29,775 What do you mean, not done yet? What does that mean? 470 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:32,544 Tell her, Chuck. 471 00:20:32,580 --> 00:20:35,347 Tell her what? 472 00:20:35,382 --> 00:20:37,549 Come on. You can tell her. 473 00:20:37,585 --> 00:20:39,885 - What? - What do you want to tell me, Chuck? 474 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,887 (Stammers) 475 00:20:41,922 --> 00:20:45,023 I think it's gonna take a while to sort this out. 476 00:20:45,059 --> 00:20:47,359 I'm gonna go have a cold beer. 477 00:20:53,259 --> 00:20:55,259 Hey. 478 00:20:55,295 --> 00:20:59,063 How long were you and Larabee yelling at each other? 479 00:20:59,099 --> 00:21:02,066 Shut up, Mike. I got you good, 480 00:21:02,102 --> 00:21:03,735 - and you can't take that away from me. - You're right, 481 00:21:03,770 --> 00:21:05,103 you did, you did. -Yes. 482 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:06,459 You know what that means, though. 483 00:21:06,473 --> 00:21:08,172 Next year, I'm gonna just... 484 00:21:08,208 --> 00:21:11,109 well, let's just wait till next year. 485 00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:13,344 Well, you better make it a good one, because my days 486 00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:15,413 - of falling for pranks are over. - Is that right? 487 00:21:15,448 --> 00:21:18,015 Yeah, you should've seen the one the kids tried to pull on me. 488 00:21:18,051 --> 00:21:19,751 - What did the kids try to pull on you? - I don't know, 489 00:21:19,786 --> 00:21:21,506 it was a... something to do with a fake cop. 490 00:21:21,521 --> 00:21:23,121 Tell you in the morning. 491 00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:33,331 Oh, wait... I do have my ID. 492 00:21:33,381 --> 00:21:37,931 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36829

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