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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,718 --> 00:00:04,485 Mike: I figured Batman never did... 2 00:00:04,587 --> 00:00:05,519 Oh, hey, Mrs. B. 3 00:00:05,621 --> 00:00:07,354 Hey, Kyle. Hi, there. 4 00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:08,789 (Groans) Hey, hon. How are you? 5 00:00:08,858 --> 00:00:09,790 - I got you, babe. - Hi. 6 00:00:09,892 --> 00:00:10,924 - Hey. - Come here! 7 00:00:11,027 --> 00:00:13,127 Oh! Mm. Mm. Mm. 8 00:00:13,195 --> 00:00:14,628 Oh, my goodness! (Giggling) Oh! 9 00:00:14,697 --> 00:00:16,430 (Normal voice) What was that all about? 10 00:00:16,499 --> 00:00:18,432 I'm just happy to see anybody who's not Kyle. 11 00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,771 I live with him, I work with him, I try to leave without him, 12 00:00:23,839 --> 00:00:27,141 but he hears the jingle of my keys... ...and hops right in the truck. 13 00:00:27,948 --> 00:00:30,149 You know, they're living here to save money for a house. 14 00:00:30,179 --> 00:00:31,111 You thought it was a good idea. 15 00:00:31,213 --> 00:00:32,246 I-I know, but they saved enough money. 16 00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:33,714 A great way to celebrate... 17 00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:35,282 Get their own place. Oh! 18 00:00:35,351 --> 00:00:37,351 Well, we're not gonna kick them out. 19 00:00:37,453 --> 00:00:38,852 I... You just need a little break. 20 00:00:38,954 --> 00:00:41,422 Why don't we go away for a few days, take a little vacation? 21 00:00:41,490 --> 00:00:43,090 (Gasps) A family vacation? 22 00:00:43,192 --> 00:00:43,824 We're in! 23 00:00:44,860 --> 00:00:47,861 Yeah. Oh, it'd be nice to see you guys outside of work and home. 24 00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:49,263 And let's not forget the truck. 25 00:00:49,331 --> 00:00:51,031 Let's not forget the truck. Uh, listen. 26 00:00:51,133 --> 00:00:52,966 No, we weren't talking about the whole family. 27 00:00:53,035 --> 00:00:54,268 Oh, good. Thank God. (Laughs) 28 00:00:54,336 --> 00:00:57,004 No sense dragging those other losers to Paris. 29 00:00:58,107 --> 00:01:00,507 You know, I've never been on a family vacation. 30 00:01:00,576 --> 00:01:03,143 Well, one time the trailer we lived in rolled into a ravine, 31 00:01:03,245 --> 00:01:07,448 and there was some stagnant rain water, and we all swam. 32 00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:09,650 I wish I had pictures. 33 00:01:09,718 --> 00:01:13,153 I'm sure child services has a few pictures of that. 34 00:01:13,255 --> 00:01:15,923 Guys, we'll have plenty of time to reminisce on vacation. 35 00:01:16,025 --> 00:01:17,758 Mom, let me pack for you. 36 00:01:17,827 --> 00:01:20,461 I mean, I will have to be seen with you at dinner. 37 00:01:23,032 --> 00:01:24,698 Let me kick 'em out. 38 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,200 Hell no. 39 00:01:26,302 --> 00:01:27,401 I'm doing it. 40 00:01:27,503 --> 00:01:28,703 No, seriously, it was my idea. 41 00:01:28,704 --> 00:01:29,837 No, I... I'm gonna kick 'em out. 42 00:01:29,939 --> 00:01:31,271 - You know, I've got - ... I'm going to... 43 00:01:31,373 --> 00:01:34,408 Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen. www.addic7ed.com 44 00:01:38,214 --> 00:01:40,547 What are you looking at so intensely? 45 00:01:40,649 --> 00:01:44,685 Oh, 5'10" of gorgeous. 46 00:01:44,787 --> 00:01:47,121 A one-bedroom apartment. 47 00:01:47,223 --> 00:01:49,223 Oh, does Vanessa know you're leaving? 48 00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:50,491 Will she throw a party? 49 00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:51,792 Oh! Can I throw a party? 50 00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:54,228 It's not for me. 51 00:01:54,330 --> 00:01:58,866 If I were leaving, I'd be in a motorcycle with a sidecar with a dog named Boo. 52 00:02:00,336 --> 00:02:02,402 I'm kicking Kyle and Mandy out of the house. 53 00:02:02,505 --> 00:02:04,304 Ah, it's about time those kids got out. 54 00:02:04,406 --> 00:02:06,373 It's the right thing to do. Sure it is. 55 00:02:06,475 --> 00:02:07,875 They're married, living with me. 56 00:02:07,943 --> 00:02:08,876 What are we, Italian? 57 00:02:10,012 --> 00:02:12,679 It would have made sense 100 years ago... Yep. 58 00:02:12,781 --> 00:02:15,549 Large families living together, working the same fields, 59 00:02:15,651 --> 00:02:20,787 sharing the same bath water, getting the same diseases. 60 00:02:20,856 --> 00:02:22,222 Maybe it never made sense. 61 00:02:24,260 --> 00:02:25,826 Well, what about Kyle's mom? 62 00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:27,461 Does she ever help him out? 63 00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:29,196 No, no. She's an awful woman. 64 00:02:29,298 --> 00:02:32,633 She's neglectful, she's selfish, she's mean. 65 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:35,502 I'm surprised I was never married to her. 66 00:02:35,604 --> 00:02:37,871 But still, I mean, she's his mom. 67 00:02:37,973 --> 00:02:39,173 I don't he even knows where she is. 68 00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:43,410 Last he heard, she was working on a men's roller derby team. 69 00:02:43,512 --> 00:02:45,812 Oh. That's terrible. 70 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,681 Kids should at least know where their parents are. 71 00:02:47,783 --> 00:02:50,817 I didn't much care for my dad, but I knew where he was... 72 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:56,056 in the living room screaming "Wheel... of... Fortune"! 73 00:02:56,158 --> 00:03:00,961 After all Kyle's been through, do you really want to kick him out? 74 00:03:01,063 --> 00:03:02,095 Not just Kyle... 75 00:03:02,198 --> 00:03:04,298 I'm also kicking his wife out. 76 00:03:05,701 --> 00:03:06,733 Roller derby. 77 00:03:06,835 --> 00:03:08,835 Wait, roller derby... that rings a bell. 78 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:10,404 Maybe I was married to her. 79 00:03:10,506 --> 00:03:11,405 Wait a minute. 80 00:03:11,507 --> 00:03:14,208 81 00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:17,110 Hey. How was the park? 82 00:03:17,213 --> 00:03:20,781 I poked a dead squirrel with a stick. 83 00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:22,916 After he picked it up and played with it. 84 00:03:23,018 --> 00:03:25,085 Go wash your hands right now. 85 00:03:25,187 --> 00:03:27,221 I named him Dan. 86 00:03:27,323 --> 00:03:31,458 You said I couldn't have a pet, but now I do. Okay. 87 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,327 Thanks for taking him, Eve. 88 00:03:33,429 --> 00:03:38,165 I love my son more than anything, but to keep it that way, Mama needs breaks. 89 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:40,167 Well, the kid sure has a great imagination. 90 00:03:40,269 --> 00:03:42,469 It must run in the family. Yeah, you know what? 91 00:03:42,571 --> 00:03:44,605 Everyone thinks that Ryan is the creative one, 92 00:03:44,707 --> 00:03:46,173 but should have seen my last menu board. 93 00:03:46,275 --> 00:03:49,676 (Chuckles) I drew a pig with a top hat. 94 00:03:50,746 --> 00:03:52,179 Just saying. 95 00:03:52,281 --> 00:03:57,884 So, uh, Boyd told all the kids at the park that Ryan is an international spy. 96 00:03:58,721 --> 00:03:59,786 Okay, listen. 97 00:03:59,888 --> 00:04:02,689 Um, lately Boyd's been a little bit self-conscious about his dad's job. 98 00:04:02,791 --> 00:04:05,425 (Gasps) 99 00:04:05,494 --> 00:04:07,194 Ryan got a job? 100 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:13,634 Homeschool teaching is a job that pays in smiles. 101 00:04:14,970 --> 00:04:18,005 Did I say that with a straight face? 102 00:04:18,073 --> 00:04:19,506 Ugh. Poor Ryan. 103 00:04:19,608 --> 00:04:22,509 His son is embarrassed by him. 104 00:04:22,611 --> 00:04:24,745 It would be a real shame if he found out. 105 00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:27,447 N-No, no... Don't you dare tease him. 106 00:04:27,516 --> 00:04:30,150 Sweet little Evie? Pfft. I would never. (Scoffs) 107 00:04:30,252 --> 00:04:33,387 108 00:04:33,455 --> 00:04:35,222 Hey, how about this? 109 00:04:35,291 --> 00:04:41,695 400 square feet, 1 bedroom, 3/4 bath, newish carpet... (chuckles) 110 00:04:41,797 --> 00:04:43,597 ...smokers welcome. 111 00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:46,867 That sounds terrible. 112 00:04:46,935 --> 00:04:48,835 It's on the far side of town. 113 00:04:48,904 --> 00:04:50,437 I think they'll like it. 114 00:04:52,007 --> 00:04:53,106 Hey, Mom. Hmm? 115 00:04:53,175 --> 00:04:54,708 I'm really sorry about what I said yesterday. 116 00:04:54,810 --> 00:04:56,276 You can wear whatever you want. 117 00:04:56,378 --> 00:04:58,612 Paris is a big city. We'll never see you. Ah. 118 00:04:58,681 --> 00:04:59,913 Well, perfect timing. 119 00:04:59,982 --> 00:05:02,249 We have something we want to talk to you guys about. 120 00:05:02,351 --> 00:05:04,851 All right, you found out about my goldfish. 121 00:05:04,953 --> 00:05:06,820 I know. I should have told you. 122 00:05:06,922 --> 00:05:08,322 I'll pay for the water. 123 00:05:09,458 --> 00:05:13,460 It's not about your goldfish, and, yes, you will pay for the water. 124 00:05:13,562 --> 00:05:16,863 Are you pregnant? Ooh! 125 00:05:16,932 --> 00:05:18,432 Nobody's pregnant. 126 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,034 Well, my goldfish is. 127 00:05:21,136 --> 00:05:23,670 Yeah, she can barely fit in her little castle. (Chuckles) 128 00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:27,830 I know this is probably 129 00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,376 gonna come as a shock to you two... 130 00:05:29,445 --> 00:05:30,310 (Door bell chimes) 131 00:05:30,412 --> 00:05:31,611 Ooh, Uh... Let me ...I'll get that. 132 00:05:31,714 --> 00:05:33,480 Okay. 133 00:05:42,191 --> 00:05:45,759 Kind of left us hanging here, huh? 134 00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,296 I mean, you could just tell us what it's about. 135 00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:51,932 Oh, I could. I could. 136 00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:53,734 Um, I... 137 00:05:57,773 --> 00:05:59,873 Uh, b-but first I need to hear about your goldfish. 138 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,875 So, uh... So, it's pregnant, huh? 139 00:06:01,977 --> 00:06:04,378 Yeah, it wasn't when I bought it. 140 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,147 I have quite a mystery on my hands. 141 00:06:09,108 --> 00:06:10,189 Hey, Larabee. Come on in... 142 00:06:10,219 --> 00:06:11,418 Hey, Baxter... but make it quick. 143 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:14,087 I'm throwing a going-away party. 144 00:06:15,858 --> 00:06:18,959 I-I've been thinking about how Kyle didn't know where his mom was, 145 00:06:19,061 --> 00:06:20,761 so I... So I tracked her down. 146 00:06:20,829 --> 00:06:22,662 So, that's what you do during the day 147 00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:25,065 while shoplifters carry canoes out of my store? 148 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,334 No. 149 00:06:27,403 --> 00:06:29,302 I called a guy I know in county records. Oh, no, no. 150 00:06:29,371 --> 00:06:30,771 You didn't give him Kyle's phone number. 151 00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:32,339 He doesn't want to be in touch with his mom. 152 00:06:32,441 --> 00:06:33,673 He doesn't want to know about her. 153 00:06:33,776 --> 00:06:36,109 He doesn't have to worry about that now. 154 00:06:36,211 --> 00:06:38,111 She's dead. 155 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,081 Oh. 156 00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,716 That's... that's ...that's terrible. 157 00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:45,452 Yeah. She died three months ago. 158 00:06:45,554 --> 00:06:47,187 Whoa. Yeah. 159 00:06:47,289 --> 00:06:48,321 How'd she die? 160 00:06:48,424 --> 00:06:50,757 Rodeo accident. What? 161 00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:53,293 How should I know, Baxter? 162 00:06:53,395 --> 00:06:56,129 They just said she was dead. 163 00:06:56,231 --> 00:06:57,431 Yeah. Thanks for telling me. 164 00:06:57,533 --> 00:06:59,032 I appreciate it, 'cause right now... 165 00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:00,467 ...I was just about to tell those two 166 00:07:00,569 --> 00:07:01,835 they had to move out... 167 00:07:01,937 --> 00:07:03,137 ...but I couldn't do that now. 168 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:08,642 Well, you are kind of a terrible person, so... you could. 169 00:07:08,744 --> 00:07:12,045 - I couldn't do that. - Right. 170 00:07:12,147 --> 00:07:14,381 Could I? 171 00:07:19,788 --> 00:07:20,754 No. Damn it! 172 00:07:26,142 --> 00:07:28,442 Yeah, I mean, I was looking forward to being a father, 173 00:07:28,511 --> 00:07:32,380 but 500 to 600 goldfish babies? 174 00:07:32,448 --> 00:07:35,049 That's a lot of weight on one man's shoulders. 175 00:07:35,118 --> 00:07:39,954 I mean, it's probably actually just an ounce or... or a gram. 176 00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:42,323 Oh, but look. Mike's here. He'll know. 177 00:07:42,959 --> 00:07:47,962 Uh... Uh, Larabee just stopped by with some pretty bad news. 178 00:07:48,031 --> 00:07:49,864 Uh, Kyle, your mom has passed away. 179 00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,833 - What? - Mandy: Kyle... I'm so sorry. 180 00:07:52,902 --> 00:07:54,301 It's... it's really okay. 181 00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:55,970 I mean, we weren't that close. 182 00:07:56,039 --> 00:07:58,005 Uh, we were, but then we drifted apart. 183 00:07:58,107 --> 00:08:00,207 After I was born. 184 00:08:00,276 --> 00:08:04,011 Well, still, I mean, y-y-you must be in shock. 185 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,247 Oh, no, not really. I... I already knew. 186 00:08:06,315 --> 00:08:08,916 It happened, like, three months ago. 187 00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:10,718 What? Why didn't you tell me? 188 00:08:10,787 --> 00:08:13,254 Well, I didn't want to bum everybody out. 189 00:08:13,322 --> 00:08:16,323 Look at your faces. 190 00:08:16,392 --> 00:08:17,458 Kyle, we're in shock. 191 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,493 I-I-I mean, I wish you would've told us sooner. 192 00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:20,561 We care about you. 193 00:08:20,663 --> 00:08:21,996 Yeah, I could've helped you through this. 194 00:08:22,098 --> 00:08:23,364 I love you. 195 00:08:23,466 --> 00:08:24,432 Look, you guys are the best. 196 00:08:24,534 --> 00:08:25,633 But, really, I'm okay. 197 00:08:26,703 --> 00:08:30,171 Okay, well, I have a pregnant poisson 198 00:08:30,273 --> 00:08:32,473 to go look after, so... 199 00:08:32,542 --> 00:08:33,741 She's French. 200 00:08:35,144 --> 00:08:39,613 If I die, just promise me you'll make Kyle tell everyone. 201 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:44,952 I mean, he must be in denial. 202 00:08:45,054 --> 00:08:47,021 He can't really be taking it this well, can he? 203 00:08:47,123 --> 00:08:49,223 Maybe he takes bad news well. 204 00:08:49,292 --> 00:08:51,759 Might be a good time to tell him... 205 00:08:51,828 --> 00:08:53,894 Mike, no. 206 00:08:56,165 --> 00:08:59,066 We are not telling him he has to move out. 207 00:08:59,135 --> 00:09:00,568 Mike, his mom died. 208 00:09:00,636 --> 00:09:02,369 Yeah, like three months ago. 209 00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:03,370 Oh! 210 00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:06,707 211 00:09:06,776 --> 00:09:07,942 Thanks, Dad. 212 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,276 I'm proud of you, buddy. 213 00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:11,112 Shouldn't you be proud of him every day? 214 00:09:11,214 --> 00:09:12,847 I mean, what kind of parent are you? 215 00:09:12,915 --> 00:09:14,448 I was gonna take him to the park, 216 00:09:14,550 --> 00:09:16,684 but he said he wanted to try meditation instead. 217 00:09:16,753 --> 00:09:19,954 And he thought his old room would be full of positive grounded energy. 218 00:09:20,056 --> 00:09:21,922 Hmm. Right. 219 00:09:21,958 --> 00:09:23,491 That sounds like a 10-year-old boy. 220 00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:27,061 I'm sure it's not because he has that secret stash 221 00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,996 of toy guns and sugar packets. 222 00:09:29,065 --> 00:09:30,498 What? 223 00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:31,732 Oh, you're making that up. 224 00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:32,833 Are you? 225 00:09:33,836 --> 00:09:35,870 Yeah, yeah, you are. It's fine. 226 00:09:35,972 --> 00:09:37,505 I trust Boyd. 227 00:09:37,573 --> 00:09:39,240 Do I? 228 00:09:39,308 --> 00:09:42,443 Well, that was fun to watch. 229 00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,632 So, how do you like being back at your parents' house? 230 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,046 Must be nice to be 11 again. 231 00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:50,951 You know, that is exactly the kind of witty repartee 232 00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:53,954 I'd expect from an international man of mystery. 233 00:09:54,023 --> 00:09:56,323 What are you talking about? 234 00:09:56,425 --> 00:10:00,928 Well, Boyd told his friends you work for the CIA as a spy, not as a janitor 235 00:10:00,997 --> 00:10:02,830 or a human target like I would assume. 236 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,233 Okay, so he made up a story. 237 00:10:06,302 --> 00:10:08,469 And not just any spy, a half-robot spy, 238 00:10:08,538 --> 00:10:10,905 which would explain your social awkwardness 239 00:10:10,973 --> 00:10:13,207 and your obsession with renewable energy. 240 00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:15,910 Look, quit trying to make this a big deal, because it's not. 241 00:10:16,012 --> 00:10:18,746 Well, I didn't think it was until you got all defensive. 242 00:10:18,848 --> 00:10:22,183 Now my curiosity has been piqued. 243 00:10:22,285 --> 00:10:23,984 It's nothing, okay? 244 00:10:24,086 --> 00:10:25,447 Boyd doesn't want to say what I do 245 00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,354 because he's a little sensitive about being home-schooled. 246 00:10:27,456 --> 00:10:28,656 It's just a phase. He'll grow out of it. 247 00:10:28,724 --> 00:10:31,492 Or you could just let him go to real school. 248 00:10:31,594 --> 00:10:33,027 Or how you would say it in your language... 249 00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:35,796 (Robotic voice) Let him go to a real school. 250 00:10:35,865 --> 00:10:37,364 You sound just like Kristin. 251 00:10:37,433 --> 00:10:39,333 "Socialization would be good for him," 252 00:10:39,435 --> 00:10:40,734 and "He really wants to go. 253 00:10:40,837 --> 00:10:42,036 He's not behind anymore." 254 00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,024 Look, he's not going back to public school, okay? 255 00:10:44,106 --> 00:10:45,339 I know what's best for me... 256 00:10:45,441 --> 00:10:46,707 I mean, him. 257 00:10:47,944 --> 00:10:49,944 Just drop it, okay? 258 00:10:50,046 --> 00:10:51,312 (Normal voice) Whoa, sorry. 259 00:10:51,414 --> 00:10:52,847 Didn't mean to hit a nerve. 260 00:10:52,949 --> 00:10:56,016 Just like Boyd did when he made that dead squirrel twitch. 261 00:10:56,118 --> 00:10:56,618 262 00:11:00,957 --> 00:11:02,790 Hey, hon. 263 00:11:02,859 --> 00:11:04,692 - Uh, where's Kyle? - I don't know. 264 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,727 For once, he's not around me. Let's not jinx it. 265 00:11:07,864 --> 00:11:10,865 You know, it's strange he never mentioned that his mom died. 266 00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:14,268 Didn't even go down to the county clerk's office to settle her affairs. 267 00:11:14,370 --> 00:11:15,703 How do you know? 268 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,606 Because I went down there. 269 00:11:18,674 --> 00:11:21,609 - I can't believe people think you're nosy. - Yeah. 270 00:11:21,711 --> 00:11:25,045 Well, it turns out his mom left him an inheritance. 271 00:11:25,114 --> 00:11:27,314 It's a little land and a trailer near Thornton. 272 00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:29,617 Apparently, she moved there just before she died, so... 273 00:11:29,719 --> 00:11:31,418 And how did you find that out? 274 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,920 I'm a geologist. 275 00:11:33,022 --> 00:11:34,188 I know how to dig. 276 00:11:35,524 --> 00:11:36,690 No, Chuck's friend told me. 277 00:11:38,594 --> 00:11:39,560 A trailer? 278 00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:41,195 People live in trailers. 279 00:11:41,264 --> 00:11:42,304 Kyle and Mandy are people. 280 00:11:42,431 --> 00:11:43,697 - See where I'm going with this? - I do. 281 00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:44,698 Hold on a minute. 282 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:45,866 Hey, Kyle, are you still in the garage? 283 00:11:45,968 --> 00:11:46,967 Come inside. 284 00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:48,569 You know, you haven't been this happy 285 00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:50,324 since you found three peanuts in one shell. 286 00:11:50,406 --> 00:11:51,338 (Chuckles) 287 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:52,573 (Door opens) 288 00:11:52,642 --> 00:11:54,074 - Hey. You called, Mr. B.? - Hey. Come here. Come here. 289 00:11:54,176 --> 00:11:55,896 Yeah, Vanessa's got some great news for you. 290 00:11:55,945 --> 00:11:58,345 Listen, Kyle, I went down to the county clerk's office. 291 00:11:58,447 --> 00:11:59,914 Oh, that sounds fun. 292 00:12:00,016 --> 00:12:01,615 My third grade class went to city hall one time. 293 00:12:01,717 --> 00:12:03,550 We saw an alderman. 294 00:12:03,653 --> 00:12:05,786 He just looked like a regular man. (Chuckles) 295 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:09,890 Well, uh, Kyle, it turns out your mom left you an inheritance. 296 00:12:09,992 --> 00:12:11,859 It's land and a trailer. 297 00:12:11,961 --> 00:12:12,960 No, thanks. 298 00:12:13,062 --> 00:12:14,728 W-well, wait, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle. Hold it. 299 00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:17,965 It... it... it's almost an acre, and... and there's supposed to be woods 300 00:12:18,067 --> 00:12:19,133 and a stream through it. 301 00:12:19,235 --> 00:12:20,267 It could be a nice home for your goldfish. 302 00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:22,202 I said I don't want it, okay? 303 00:12:27,376 --> 00:12:28,976 (Door closes) Wow. 304 00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:30,477 Huh. 305 00:12:30,579 --> 00:12:32,313 I tell him that his mom is dead. 306 00:12:32,415 --> 00:12:33,447 He's okay with that. 307 00:12:33,549 --> 00:12:36,483 You tell him he's got an inheritance, he gets all snippy. 308 00:12:38,754 --> 00:12:39,820 Maybe it's your tone. 309 00:12:49,277 --> 00:12:51,277 Hey, Mr. Snippy. 310 00:12:51,345 --> 00:12:53,512 You were kind of angry back there. 311 00:12:53,581 --> 00:12:54,747 It's not like you. 312 00:12:54,849 --> 00:12:56,215 I'm sorry about that. 313 00:12:56,284 --> 00:13:00,753 I-I try not to get angry, but whenever I do, I just... I take those feelings 314 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,622 and I lock them in an imaginary box in my belly. 315 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:08,427 Some people call that an ulcer. 316 00:13:10,131 --> 00:13:14,066 Listen, Kyle, I know that things always weren't the best 317 00:13:14,135 --> 00:13:15,301 between you and your mom. 318 00:13:15,369 --> 00:13:17,269 They were never good. 319 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,172 Not that there were a lot. 320 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:22,007 You have every reason to be angry. 321 00:13:22,076 --> 00:13:23,008 I understand that. 322 00:13:23,077 --> 00:13:25,411 I don't like to get angry. 323 00:13:25,479 --> 00:13:28,180 I-I don't like to open the anger box more than once a year. Yeah. 324 00:13:28,249 --> 00:13:31,417 July 15th, that's scream day. 325 00:13:31,485 --> 00:13:34,987 My scream day's April 15th. 326 00:13:35,089 --> 00:13:36,088 But I don't hold it in. 327 00:13:36,157 --> 00:13:37,723 I yell about it all year long. 328 00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:44,330 I just don't understand why a parent wouldn't want to be with their kid. 329 00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:47,666 Me neither. 330 00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:51,409 Hey, you know, maybe your mom thought she was doing the best for you... 331 00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:55,207 building character by you being independent. 332 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:58,978 Still, 8 feels early. 333 00:14:01,682 --> 00:14:04,183 8 is early. 334 00:14:04,252 --> 00:14:07,152 I... I feel like with the trailer, all she's doing is trying to buy off 335 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,387 every crummy thing she did. 336 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:11,624 And if I accept it, then it's like saying everything she did was okay. 337 00:14:11,692 --> 00:14:13,592 Yeah. 338 00:14:13,661 --> 00:14:18,030 I mean, when I think about her, all I can feel is angry. 339 00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:21,172 I'm telling you, Kyle, that anger's gonna eat you up. 340 00:14:21,202 --> 00:14:22,835 You've got to figure out a way to let this go. 341 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,803 I don't know how. 342 00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:26,338 (Sighs) 343 00:14:28,042 --> 00:14:29,441 I have an idea. 344 00:14:30,611 --> 00:14:32,511 Kyle. (Keys jingle) 345 00:14:33,714 --> 00:14:34,214 346 00:14:37,852 --> 00:14:39,385 (Door opens) 347 00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:43,188 What are you doing here? 348 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,357 Can't you just take up smoking and hang out at the 7-Eleven 349 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,259 like a decent teenager? 350 00:14:47,328 --> 00:14:51,196 I felt bad about what happened earlier when I completely humiliated you. 351 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,098 I wasn't humiliated. 352 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,335 Okay, look, a year ago, I didn't know what I was gonna do next, 353 00:14:56,404 --> 00:14:59,071 but you did something for me that I'll always remember. 354 00:14:59,173 --> 00:15:01,273 Because it was so weird. 355 00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,242 You gave me a ukulele. 356 00:15:03,311 --> 00:15:05,144 Eve, we've talked about this. 357 00:15:05,246 --> 00:15:08,681 It's disrespectful to the Hawaiians to call it anything but oo-koo-lay-lay. 358 00:15:11,719 --> 00:15:14,320 I was trying to get you to think outside the box. 359 00:15:14,422 --> 00:15:16,355 Oh. (Scoffs) 360 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,490 What's this in my backpack? 361 00:15:18,559 --> 00:15:22,494 Oh, well, I'll be darned. 362 00:15:22,563 --> 00:15:25,297 It's the oo-koo-lay-lay you gave me. 363 00:15:25,366 --> 00:15:27,199 What are you doing? 364 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,935 Thinking outside the box. 365 00:15:30,004 --> 00:15:35,240 Oh, hey, I just, you know, at the top of my head, came up with a little ditty. 366 00:15:35,343 --> 00:15:37,009 Of course you did. 367 00:15:37,078 --> 00:15:38,977 Don't worry, it's not about you. 368 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,180 Ryan doesn't know what to do, do-do 369 00:15:41,282 --> 00:15:44,016 Once Boyd's in sch-oo-oo-oo-ool 370 00:15:44,118 --> 00:15:45,651 But doesn't let him go 371 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,620 And it's turning him into a weirdo 372 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:51,824 Just stop. 373 00:15:51,892 --> 00:15:54,293 I should have never given you that oo-koo-lay-lay. 374 00:15:54,395 --> 00:15:58,030 Look, when you got upset before, I saw the look in your eye. 375 00:15:58,099 --> 00:16:01,767 It was the same look I had when the whole plan for my future got wiped out. 376 00:16:01,869 --> 00:16:02,835 I was scared, too. 377 00:16:02,937 --> 00:16:05,604 I'm not scared. Okay? 378 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,172 It's just that when Boyd goes back to school, 379 00:16:07,241 --> 00:16:09,174 I'm gonna have to figure out what to do with my entire life, 380 00:16:09,243 --> 00:16:14,012 which is frightening, not scary. 381 00:16:14,115 --> 00:16:18,016 Okay, well, you're smart, you're passionate, you'll... you'll find something. 382 00:16:18,085 --> 00:16:20,185 I'm pretty sure if you go look behind your porch, 383 00:16:20,254 --> 00:16:22,121 you're gonna find a dead squirrel named Dan. 384 00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,656 No, we had a funeral for Dan yesterday. 385 00:16:24,725 --> 00:16:28,227 Open shoe box, very touching. 386 00:16:28,295 --> 00:16:29,294 Thanks, Eve. 387 00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:33,565 Ryan's gonna be okay, kay-kay 388 00:16:33,634 --> 00:16:35,267 Kay-kay, kay-kay, kay-kay 389 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,537 'Cause Eve saved the day, d-day, d-day, d-day 390 00:16:38,639 --> 00:16:40,773 She's so great and awesomely cool 391 00:16:40,841 --> 00:16:42,408 And totally ... Yeah, okay. 392 00:16:42,977 --> 00:16:45,911 393 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,288 Well... 394 00:16:56,357 --> 00:17:00,359 It's got that lived-in look... 395 00:17:00,428 --> 00:17:01,927 Just died-in look. 396 00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:04,696 Wow. 397 00:17:04,799 --> 00:17:06,331 You know, nothing has changed. 398 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,866 Really? 399 00:17:07,935 --> 00:17:10,068 Well, I mean, the inside hasn't changed. 400 00:17:10,171 --> 00:17:12,104 Outside used to be Missouri. 401 00:17:14,074 --> 00:17:17,309 What are we doing here, Mr. B.? 402 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,111 Here. 403 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:21,880 Swing that. 404 00:17:21,982 --> 00:17:23,415 Come on, break something. 405 00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:25,217 Hit a cabinet or a light or something. 406 00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:26,518 What do you mean? 407 00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:27,853 You said you were angry? 408 00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:30,889 Punch something, hit something, maybe start with that little animal 409 00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:32,491 poking through that hole down there. 410 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:34,960 I don't want to smash everything. 411 00:17:35,062 --> 00:17:36,862 She obviously just cleaned. 412 00:17:39,233 --> 00:17:40,532 You said you're angry. 413 00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,167 This is a good way to let it out. 414 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,483 You know, I gave her this. 415 00:18:00,187 --> 00:18:02,588 I can't believe she kept it all these years. 416 00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:06,859 Well, it must have meant something to her. 417 00:18:06,927 --> 00:18:09,127 Like this lovely collection of vodka bottles. 418 00:18:11,031 --> 00:18:15,567 I'm sorry, Mr. B., but I don't want to smash any of this stuff. 419 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,471 Kyle, look, I never met your mom, but if she's anything like you, 420 00:18:19,573 --> 00:18:22,307 I'm sure she thought she was doing the best she could. 421 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:24,376 You think? 422 00:18:25,546 --> 00:18:26,678 I know. 423 00:18:26,747 --> 00:18:28,714 Look, she got this grease fire out real quick. 424 00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:34,219 Maybe she was, but I still don't feel right 425 00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,488 about keeping this trailer or the land. 426 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,091 Look at it this way. 427 00:18:39,193 --> 00:18:42,427 She bought this land and brought this trailer here to be near you. 428 00:18:42,530 --> 00:18:43,662 She didn't give this to your brother. 429 00:18:43,764 --> 00:18:45,197 She gave it to you. 430 00:18:45,299 --> 00:18:48,400 So in her way, I think she felt like she owed you something. 431 00:18:49,270 --> 00:18:52,771 So it's not really a bribe, but it's more like an apology. 432 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,641 Not a good one, but, yeah. 433 00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:59,912 So if I keep it, what should I do with it? 434 00:19:00,014 --> 00:19:01,613 This is actually a nice piece of land here. 435 00:19:01,715 --> 00:19:03,475 You got the little stream running down there. 436 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,785 You get the shopping carts out, not a bad spot. 437 00:19:06,887 --> 00:19:09,955 It would be nice to build something of my own, you know? There you go. 438 00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:14,226 Build yourself a house, with a family that you deserve. 439 00:19:14,328 --> 00:19:16,228 Yeah, I'd like that. 440 00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:19,498 What should I do with the trailer? 441 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,433 I'd finish that grease fire. 442 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:24,469 I think your mom would have wanted it that way. 443 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,922 Hey, Mike Baxter here for Outdoor Man. 444 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,056 All right, listen up. 445 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:56,960 If you're a perfect parent, I want you to raise your hand. 446 00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:59,329 I can't see you, so if you're doing it, good. 447 00:19:59,431 --> 00:20:02,933 Okay, now if you're a unicorn, raise your hoof. 448 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,301 I'm serious. 449 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:08,739 If we're being honest here, that little experiment ended in a 0-0 tie. 450 00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,241 You know why that is? 451 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:15,012 Because none of us are perfect parents, and none of us had perfect parents. 452 00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:19,650 And for that, the brewers and distillers of America are very grateful. 453 00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:23,320 (Fake crying) I hate my life. 454 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:24,888 (Normal voice) But you know what warms your belly 455 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,123 even more than a shot of bourbon? 456 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:30,561 Two shots of bourbon... with a chaser of forgiveness. 457 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:34,198 Now, remember, most parents are just doing the best they can. 458 00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:38,235 Which, let's face it, for a lot of people, is pretty God-awful. 459 00:20:38,337 --> 00:20:41,572 But staying mad at them doesn't hurt anyone but yourself. 460 00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:45,943 Saint Augustine said, "Resentment is like taking poison 461 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,178 and hoping the other person dies." 462 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,813 Wise words. 463 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,248 And easy for him to say. 464 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:52,471 I sat next to him in school. 465 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:55,185 His mother told him she loved him all the time. 466 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:58,255 She always would look at him and say, "You're such a saint." 467 00:20:58,305 --> 00:21:02,855 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34956

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