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1
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,037
It is 5 A.M.
2
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,438
And the morning sun is peeking
through the pines of Lake Chunky.
3
00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:30,194
But it is no ordinary morning.
4
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:34,109
The fish must face more
than just the sun today.
5
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,511
The fish must face...
6
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,119
...Al Bundy...
7
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:40,311
...bass master.
8
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,793
Here it comes.
9
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,435
I shall now cast.
10
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,071
Sorry there, boy.
11
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:05,030
As Al lays his worm
upon the waters...
12
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,392
...a mighty hush
falls over the woodland.
13
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,637
What creature
would dare disturb him?
14
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,352
- Hi, honey.
- The loon, of course.
15
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,318
Al, are you going fishing?
16
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,796
Fishing? What makes you think that?
17
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:36,156
Oh, and, Peg, by the way...
And this is a totally unrelated topic.
18
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,358
- if you're looking for me next week,
I won't be around.
19
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,391
I'll be...
20
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,158
...at work.
21
00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:45,434
Work?
22
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,194
It's a five-day, 24-hour,
daylight-moonlight-daylight...
23
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:51,119
...moonlight-daylight-moonlight
madness sale.
24
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,039
Well, then they did go
to the right man for the job.
25
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,118
Who but you could go daylight-
moonlight-daylight-moonlight...
26
00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:01,313
...daylight-moonlight without
showering or changing his clothes?
27
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,358
Hey, the shoe game
ain't for sissy boys, baby.
28
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,154
Anyhow, in case you were gonna call,
which you never do...
29
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,920
...but which I know you would
just this once...
30
00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,590
...all wives are strictly prohibited from
calling or coming anywhere near...
31
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,189
...the shoe store
for the entire duration of the sale.
32
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,073
Naturally, this has us shoe guys
up in arms, especially me.
33
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,794
Because, Peg, Lord knows,
you is my inspiration.
34
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,628
Al, wait a second, honey.
35
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:31,236
You just had a hair on your head.
Don't worry, I got it.
36
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,713
So now tell me
where you're really going.
37
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,552
You're not tough enough
to force it out of me.
38
00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,636
I'm going on vacation.
39
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,871
Good boy. Now, where are we going?
40
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,548
Well, with any luck,
to an early grave.
41
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,195
But right now, I am going...
42
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,675
...to my boss's mountain cabin.
43
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,638
To fish and drink, and drink and fish.
44
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,515
And sometimes even
fish and drink, and drink and fish.
45
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,150
For one week, I am going to pretend
that I'm actually alive.
46
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,475
Oh, look, Peg, it's the paperboy.
47
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,471
Out of the way, shoe yeti.
48
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:17,468
Oh, Peggy, you'll never guess
what Jefferson did.
49
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,190
Misunderstood your cries
of "pluck me" to the butcher?
50
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:29,033
But clearly, your cries of "pluck me"
to the barber did not go unanswered.
51
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:34,910
Marcie, have the nerve to face me
when you're speaking to me.
52
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,195
You are. Hey, we gotta get you
a sign says "front" and "back."
53
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:54,831
Then we should get you one
for your pants, eh?
54
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,990
Listen to this.
Even though Jefferson has a job...
55
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,351
...he is still charging his lunches
on my credit card.
56
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,518
And you should see the size of the tips
he leaves the waitresses.
57
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,756
You know what he said
when I called him on it?
58
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,633
"Hey, babe, I'm good-looking."
59
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,673
That's his answer to everything.
60
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,273
What's his answer to cries of:
61
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,552
"Hey, there, where you going
with that little boy?"
62
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,469
Go pick your heinie.
63
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,319
Women are talking.
64
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,478
Anyhow, I refuse to spend
another minute alone with Jefferson.
65
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,875
I don't even wanna be
in the same house with him.
66
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,957
Then I think I have
the perfect solution.
67
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,117
Peg, if this is what I'm thinking...
68
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,117
...I shall have to unleash
my veto power.
69
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,117
You see, Al and I
are going on vacation...
70
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,915
Veto, I say. Veto. Veto. Veto.
71
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,271
Oh, stop pouting, Al.
72
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,916
If I don't see a smile,
I will forbid you to come with us.
73
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,557
- That's better. Now, come on.
- You didn't forget anything, did you?
74
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,113
Nothing that matters.
75
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,476
What's going on?
76
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,274
Cheese it, the kids.
77
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,156
- Vacation.
- Vacation.
78
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:15,319
Curse you!
79
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,397
I curse you to your worst nightmare:
80
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,160
An eternity of being together.
81
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,190
And you can't leave the bedroom.
82
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,470
And Grandma's there.
83
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,513
- And she's out of Depends!
- Bud.
84
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,628
What?
85
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,671
Mom and Dad just left us alone.
86
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,189
Alone, with no parental supervision.
87
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,749
And stay out.
88
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,150
Yes. Finally alone.
89
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,635
Free. Free to run amuck.
90
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,912
Oh, the hooters I'll be a-juggling.
91
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,478
Yeah, well, just don't hurt your hand
on the staples.
92
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,072
But don't worry, end-of-the-rainbow,
you can do anything you want.
93
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:02,114
I mean, we haven't been left entirely
alone since we were in diapers.
94
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:06,311
Bud, we're free, with no responsibility
to anyone but ourselves.
95
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,430
Hey, guys, what's for breakfast?
96
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:18,239
Curse you! Curse your mangy hides
and the horses you rode in on!
97
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,788
Look what they did to us.
98
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,912
They left us
with this little walking booger.
99
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:27,994
I'm hungry.
100
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,393
Well, Kelly's stupid.
Nobody's helping her.
101
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,039
Yeah.
102
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,471
And believe me, my mind
was a terrible thing to taste.
103
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,195
What if they didn't
leave us any food or anything?
104
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,868
Come on, Kel. I know Mom and Dad
aren't way up there...
105
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,514
...on the evolutionary scale,
but even dung beetles...
106
00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,951
...wouldn't go on vacation
without providing for their young.
107
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,353
See?
108
00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,639
Who wants some baking soda
on a cracker?
109
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,991
That's not a cracker.
110
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,311
It's a cockroach.
111
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,272
It's coming right at me!
112
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:11,072
To tell you the truth,
I'm not sure which was moving which.
113
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:16,038
Feed me,
or I'm gonna be really annoying.
114
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,435
What are we gonna do, Kel?
115
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:20,596
The parakeet trick.
116
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,991
It's what Mom used to use on you
when you got hungry during her soaps.
117
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,589
- What is it?
- Well, when a parakeet makes noise...
118
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:31,429
...you throw a blanket over its cage so
they think it's night. They go to sleep.
119
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,549
Come on, Kel.
Now, that can't possibly work.
120
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,115
Food. Food. Food.
121
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,319
Well, it's gonna be a week.
122
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,114
Maybe we should get him
a little mirror and a perch.
123
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:54,153
Well, it's fine for him.
What about us?
124
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,476
I mean, Mom and Dad
didn't leave us any money.
125
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,989
What are we gonna do for food?
126
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,516
Boy, this ought to teach Jefferson
a lesson.
127
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,234
He didn't even know
I slipped out of bed this morning.
128
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,671
Maybe he's still out cold,
having seen you slip into it.
129
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,638
Okay, Brunhildas.
130
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,633
Family meeting.
131
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,592
Let's go. Let's go.
132
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,552
Gather around.
133
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:30,113
All right, just stay there.
I'll come to you.
134
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:32,068
That's better.
135
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,670
Now, it's time to lay down
the ground rules of the house.
136
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,438
Rule number one:
137
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,039
There are two bedrooms.
138
00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,231
I get one alone.
139
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,998
You two can share. Keep the
door closed while you're changing.
140
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,872
You don't wanna kill my bait.
141
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,636
Rule two:
142
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,319
Speaking to me.
143
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,997
Al, nobody is gonna speak to you.
144
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,590
Nobody wants to speak to you.
Nobody will speak to you.
145
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,990
That's why it's so great
that Marcie came along.
146
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,589
Women are much better
company for each other than men.
147
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,597
Men do just get in the way,
don't they?
148
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,197
Just think if they were all dead.
149
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:15,837
There'd be no more sports,
no burping, no Howie Mandel...
150
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,508
What a wonderful world it would be.
151
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:20,990
Yeah, but maybe we could keep
the gay guys.
152
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,909
They're so much fun at lunch
and really good with color.
153
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,835
Well, without straight guys
to wrong you women...
154
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,315
...where would they get
those delightful stories...
155
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,556
...for those wonderful
made-for-TV movies?
156
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,910
Maybe we shouldn't have
brought him along.
157
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,236
- Thank God we have each other.
- I know.
158
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,715
- We're best friends and sisters.
- Goodbye.
159
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,957
And we will be forever. Women's
relationships throughout history...
160
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,355
...have been much more supportive
than those of...
161
00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,032
My own room.
162
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,156
Look, Dad.
163
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,516
It's all mine.
164
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,430
Got my own bed.
165
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,353
Always wanted
to have a bed of my own.
166
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,790
How come I never had one?
167
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,028
Ozzie had his own bed.
168
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,676
Father from Father Knows Best
had his own bed.
169
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,713
Mr. Donna Reed had his own bed.
170
00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,917
Well, Mr. Peggy Bundy
is gonna have his own bed.
171
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,712
I'm gonna go out there
and ask Peg...
172
00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:29,990
...if I never
have to sleep with her again.
173
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,559
- How dare you call me irresponsible.
- The day I take orders from you is the...
174
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:38,917
- How dare you call me a freeloader.
- Nobody talks to me that way.
175
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:44,280
- I should have paid for my vacation.
- If I want advice from you, I'll ask for it.
176
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,158
- Oh, Al, do something.
- Oh, Al, do something.
177
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,119
- You evil snippet.
- Eat yellow snow.
178
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,676
Girls. Girls. Girls.
179
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,277
Girls? Who am I kidding?
Sea hags...
180
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,473
Now, what are you fighting about?
And it better not be stupid.
181
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,511
- It's not.
- Well, then go on.
182
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,075
Okay.
Without looking in the cupboard...
183
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,670
...tell me which way
should the coffee cups be facing.
184
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,228
And I thought it was just stupid.
185
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,597
What's stupid is a woman
who stacks them right-side up...
186
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,552
...so they collect dust.
187
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:33,998
Well, at home, in her defense,
we recycle dust to make hot cocoa.
188
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,272
And then in a few weeks,
it becomes porridge.
189
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,919
It's not about the cups at all, is it?
190
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,509
What's really bothering you
is the way my clothes...
191
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,756
...mold themselves to my body.
192
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:52,593
Spare me the voluptuous rap,
you sasquatchian nightmare.
193
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,074
Chill out, Chiclet chest.
194
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:59,750
- Turn your chair upside down...
- How dare you...
195
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,155
...so it doesn't collect dust.
- Visitors come...
196
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,511
- God intended them to be right-side up.
...for miles to see my cups.
197
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,392
Upside down.
198
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,875
- Let's ask Al.
- Let's ask Al.
199
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,471
Anybody home?
200
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,472
Hello?
201
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,315
- Feed me.
- Feed me.
202
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:44,748
- Feed me.
- Feed me.
203
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,871
Feed me. Feed me.
204
00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,953
Yeah, I guess this would be unusual
in any other home.
205
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,391
But I think, all things considered...
206
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,273
...I'll just let this pass.
207
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,356
Hey, Bud, you seen Marcie lately?
208
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,989
I spent all day and night
in bed yesterday...
209
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,111
...cuddling with her pajamas...
210
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,993
...till I realized she wasn't in them.
211
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,990
I was wondering why
she was so docile. I mean...
212
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:14,715
...she let me do anything I wanted.
213
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,111
You know, like have candy and stuff.
214
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,588
You know where she might be?
215
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,637
She went on vacation
with Mom and Dad.
216
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,308
Left us here to starve
with this miserable little grub.
217
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,956
Hey, who are you calling miserable,
you little...?
218
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,030
Imagine the nerve of that woman,
leaving me...
219
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,834
...just because she's mad at me
for using her credit card.
220
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,230
So what if I leave big tips
with her money?
221
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,112
What's the difference
what I do wrong?
222
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,311
I'm good-looking.
223
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,118
You know, the attractive
should have special rights.
224
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,834
I think we should have
our own parking spaces.
225
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,508
They could have a little circle
with a sparkly smile...
226
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,518
...because looking at us
makes people happy.
227
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,916
Ain't it the truth.
228
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:05,988
What?
229
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,430
What...? What are we attractive people
laughing at?
230
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:11,108
Oh, not you, good-looking.
231
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,636
- You ain't bad yourself.
- Yeah, no kidding.
232
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,478
How dare Marcie deny me anything.
233
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,717
Besides, I have every right
to use this credit card. Look at it.
234
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:25,798
It says right here, "Marcie D'Arcy."
235
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,468
D'Arcy, that's me.
236
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,635
You know, I have a thought.
237
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:38,237
It's almost as funny
as you being attractive.
238
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,238
Hey.
239
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,593
Oh, God, I needed that.
240
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,234
Anyhow, here's my idea...
241
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,552
I forgot it.
242
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,837
Oh, wait, but here's another one.
243
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,156
You should spend an enormous
amount of money.
244
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,759
So when your wife comes back...
245
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,155
...she'll appreciate how little
you spent before.
246
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,028
Yeah.
247
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,559
How mad can she get?
248
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,512
We're good-looking.
249
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,517
- What? What?
- Somebody stop him.
250
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,398
- Don't criticize my hair.
- When is the last time you got it cut?
251
00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:16,319
You need a new hairdresser.
You're locked in the '70s.
252
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,990
It's disgusting.
I can't stand the sight of your hair.
253
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,557
For heaven's sake.
No, yours is horrible.
254
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,189
- Yours is. Yours is.
- Yours is. Yours.
255
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,709
- Yours. Al...?
- Yours.
256
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,434
- Would you settle an argument for us?
- No!
257
00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,392
Thanks, honey.
258
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,989
Al, sweetie...
259
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,998
...which one of us has a loud,
obnoxious voice?
260
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,519
Me or Marcie?
261
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,915
Wait a second, "Al, sweetie"?
262
00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,236
He's my husband.
I'll call him what I want.
263
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:48,989
Why not call him some of the things
you call him when he's not around.
264
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,437
Al, you know I'm not proud of you.
Why would I talk about you?
265
00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,428
Oh, yeah? Who says, "What's
the difference between Al and an egg?
266
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,791
An egg takes three minutes
to be done"?
267
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,273
I said two minutes.
268
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:04,515
And I didn't say that.
269
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,711
- Believe me, she hates you.
- Al, she's lying.
270
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,070
- She hates you.
- She's not even your wife...
271
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,551
...but she is lying.
- Silence! Silence, feline beasts.
272
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:18,794
Now, we have been here for 10 hours,
and in that 10 hours...
273
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,036
...the two of you
have only been quiet twice.
274
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,670
Once, when I asked how come my
luggage forgot to be put in the car.
275
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:28,031
The other time, for the hour that
Oprah was on, which is remarkable...
276
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,276
...since we don't have a TV.
277
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,354
All right, Al.
But I just have one more question.
278
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:35,391
Which one of us
has the firmest heinie?
279
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,108
I'm blind!
280
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,276
I'm blind now!
281
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:45,798
Are you happy now, Seven?
282
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,198
Are you happy, Kelly?
283
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,918
How about you, Bud? You happy?
284
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,630
I will be soon.
285
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,113
May I see the back, please?
286
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,637
This is very unusual, sir.
287
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:23,035
Department stores
normally have lingerie shows...
288
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,435
...not guys in their living room.
289
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:28,950
But then you Kennedys
go your own way.
290
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,675
Please. Kennedy is so formal.
291
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,678
Just call me Bud-Bud.
292
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,349
That's right, six dozen roses.
293
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:40,913
That's right, from me.
294
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,236
That's right, to me.
295
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:45,559
Hey, what the hell.
296
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,637
Send another dozen
to a pair of pajamas.
297
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,558
Same address.
298
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:54,596
Oh, Marcie, that was the most
relaxing vacation I've ever had.
299
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,518
You know, that's the thing
about women.
300
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,678
We can get in an argument,
then talk it through rationally...
301
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,872
...then work it out in a civilized manner
like the sisters we are.
302
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,036
- Oh, God bless us.
- He did.
303
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,356
He made us women.
304
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,878
But to tell you the truth,
I was just lost without my Jefferson.
305
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,911
I mean, so what if he tips big.
306
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,556
He's good-looking.
I can forgive him anything.
307
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,149
Jefferson D'Arcy,
I better not be paying for this.
308
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,437
Do you have anything to say
before I kill you?
309
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,351
Good night.
310
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,475
Jefferson!
311
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,557
Are...? Are you still mad, honey?
312
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,478
- Sweetie?
- Yeah.
313
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,272
Do you know what a melvin is?
314
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:53,959
No.
315
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,231
Then let me show you.
316
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,838
Oh, yeah,
we used to call them wedgies.
317
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,678
Kelly, I wanna talk to you
this minute.
318
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,316
- Yes, Mom.
- Sucker!
319
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,789
Rub, dear.
320
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,268
Hey, Mom.
321
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,311
Where's...?
322
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:33,797
What do we call him?
Starts with an L.
323
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,831
- Dad?
- Yeah.
324
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,719
- Where is he?
- Well, he kept complaining...
325
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,353
...how we ruined his vacation...
326
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,791
...so I decided to let him stay up there
by himself for two whole days.
327
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:48,356
I just left the key on the table
while he was out chopping wood.
328
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,074
I hope he's finally happy.
329
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:57,353
Well, folks, get readyfor another 8 feet of snow.
330
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,189
But we'll let the poor sapswho are outside worry about that.
331
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,152
Eh, folks?
25740
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