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1
00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:42,468
This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.
2
00:01:42,843 --> 00:01:45,679
I say again,
we have secured Falcon.
3
00:01:47,097 --> 00:01:48,307
By the time I count to ten...
4
00:01:48,390 --> 00:01:50,601
...you will have told me
exactly what I need to know.
5
00:01:51,059 --> 00:01:52,060
If not...
6
00:01:52,603 --> 00:01:56,106
...the number ten will be the
last thing you will ever hear.
7
00:01:56,315 --> 00:01:57,357
One
8
00:01:57,441 --> 00:01:58,442
Two
9
00:01:58,484 --> 00:01:59,485
Three
10
00:01:59,568 --> 00:02:00,569
Four
11
00:02:00,736 --> 00:02:01,779
Five
12
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:02,821
Six
13
00:02:02,946 --> 00:02:04,031
Seven
14
00:02:04,114 --> 00:02:05,115
Eight
15
00:02:05,199 --> 00:02:06,950
Grenade! Sir, get back!
16
00:02:20,798 --> 00:02:22,132
Shit.
17
00:02:22,716 --> 00:02:24,343
Fucking missed it.
18
00:02:24,802 --> 00:02:26,970
How did I fucking miss it?
19
00:02:28,514 --> 00:02:32,768
Merlin, I apologize for
putting you in this position.
20
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:34,478
You trained him well.
21
00:02:35,479 --> 00:02:37,022
James...
22
00:02:37,856 --> 00:02:41,276
training is over.
23
00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:44,530
Welcome to Kingsman.
24
00:02:45,030 --> 00:02:46,323
Lancelot.
25
00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:47,533
Sir.
26
00:02:50,786 --> 00:02:54,832
I'll deal with
this mess personally.
27
00:02:59,837 --> 00:03:00,838
I very much regret that
28
00:03:00,879 --> 00:03:02,840
your husband's bravery
can't be publicly celebrated.
29
00:03:03,298 --> 00:03:04,383
I hope you understand.
30
00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:06,134
How can I understand?
31
00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:08,303
You won't tell me anything.
32
00:03:09,179 --> 00:03:11,682
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.
33
00:03:11,849 --> 00:03:13,016
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.
34
00:03:14,726 --> 00:03:17,354
But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...
35
00:03:18,188 --> 00:03:21,066
and if you look closely on
the back, there's a number.
36
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,902
And as a more concrete
gesture of our gratitude...
37
00:03:24,069 --> 00:03:25,988
we'd like to offer you, um...
38
00:03:27,364 --> 00:03:28,532
Let's call it a favor.
39
00:03:28,699 --> 00:03:30,200
The nature of it is your choice.
40
00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,702
Just tell the operator...
41
00:03:32,202 --> 00:03:35,581
"oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.
42
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,585
I don't want your help!
43
00:03:39,751 --> 00:03:42,170
I want my husband back!
44
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,179
What's your name, young man?
45
00:03:51,763 --> 00:03:52,764
Eggsy.
46
00:03:52,848 --> 00:03:54,182
Hello, Eggsy.
47
00:03:55,183 --> 00:03:56,602
Can I see that?
48
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,360
You take care of this, Eggsy.
49
00:04:06,361 --> 00:04:07,738
All right?
50
00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,285
And take care of your mum, too.
51
00:04:54,117 --> 00:04:57,788
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.
52
00:04:57,955 --> 00:05:00,457
Oh, for God's sakes,
just rip it off.
53
00:05:00,624 --> 00:05:04,169
I'm under very strict
instructions not to hurt you.
54
00:05:04,336 --> 00:05:06,588
Look, you've made a mistake.
55
00:05:06,755 --> 00:05:09,508
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.
56
00:05:09,675 --> 00:05:11,134
This isn't about money.
57
00:05:11,301 --> 00:05:13,261
Our boss just
wants to talk to you.
58
00:05:13,512 --> 00:05:15,347
Am I meant to
find that reassuring?
59
00:05:15,514 --> 00:05:17,641
He'll be here soon.
He'll explain.
60
00:05:18,809 --> 00:05:20,435
Do you like whiskey?
61
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,814
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.
62
00:05:25,148 --> 00:05:28,193
Honestly, this whiskey,
it's amazing.
63
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:30,320
You will shit.
64
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:53,010
I suppose asking to borrow a cup
of sugar is a step too far?
65
00:06:15,907 --> 00:06:19,870
Professor Arnold,
I'm here to take you home.
66
00:06:30,672 --> 00:06:32,507
1962 Dalmore.
67
00:06:32,924 --> 00:06:34,760
It'd be a sin to spill any.
68
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:36,887
Don't you think?
69
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,763
Can you hold these?
Please?
70
00:07:33,944 --> 00:07:34,945
Thank you.
71
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:43,620
Everything is clean.
72
00:07:49,334 --> 00:07:52,129
My kind of welcome.
73
00:07:59,511 --> 00:08:01,638
No stomach for violence.
74
00:08:01,805 --> 00:08:03,723
I mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...
75
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:05,809
that is me done.
76
00:08:05,976 --> 00:08:07,144
I'm like...
77
00:08:07,310 --> 00:08:08,645
projectile.
78
00:08:08,812 --> 00:08:10,981
Listen, I'm so sorry...
79
00:08:11,148 --> 00:08:16,528
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.
80
00:08:16,695 --> 00:08:20,824
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...
81
00:08:20,991 --> 00:08:25,328
you and I will be
the best of friends.
82
00:08:31,918 --> 00:08:33,670
To the shop, please.
83
00:08:57,277 --> 00:08:58,445
Arthur's in the
dining room, sir.
84
00:09:08,955 --> 00:09:10,081
Arthur.
85
00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:11,458
Galahad.
86
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,376
The others were
beginning to wonder
87
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:16,338
if we were going to
have a double toast.
88
00:09:19,049 --> 00:09:23,011
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...
89
00:09:23,178 --> 00:09:25,555
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.
90
00:09:26,431 --> 00:09:30,852
Lancelot was an outstanding
agent, and a true Kingsman.
91
00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,437
He will be sorely missed.
92
00:09:33,813 --> 00:09:34,981
To Lancelot.
93
00:09:35,815 --> 00:09:37,484
To Lancelot.
94
00:09:41,529 --> 00:09:43,531
I intend to start the
selection process for
95
00:09:43,573 --> 00:09:45,992
Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.
96
00:09:46,826 --> 00:09:49,246
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...
97
00:09:49,412 --> 00:09:51,748
and have them report to UK HQ...
98
00:09:51,957 --> 00:09:54,084
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.
99
00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:55,502
Thank you.
100
00:09:57,837 --> 00:09:58,838
Merlin.
101
00:09:59,965 --> 00:10:01,591
Come in.
102
00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:04,636
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...
103
00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:07,514
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.
104
00:10:07,681 --> 00:10:08,682
Glasses, gentlemen, please.
105
00:10:11,351 --> 00:10:13,687
Uganda, 2012.
106
00:10:13,853 --> 00:10:15,355
Synthetic cathinones.
107
00:10:15,522 --> 00:10:18,942
They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.
108
00:10:19,109 --> 00:10:22,362
Rage, cannibalism,
multiple fatalities.
109
00:10:23,697 --> 00:10:25,198
Chechnya, 2013.
110
00:10:25,532 --> 00:10:27,158
Insurgents turned on
one another.
111
00:10:27,325 --> 00:10:28,994
Indisputably, the work
of our mercenaries,
112
00:10:29,077 --> 00:10:30,954
but no trace of any
chemicals of any kind.
113
00:10:31,246 --> 00:10:32,330
So what happened to Lancelot?
114
00:10:33,331 --> 00:10:36,334
He tracked them to this
property in Argentina.
115
00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:37,836
While he had them
under surveillance...
116
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:39,838
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.
117
00:10:40,672 --> 00:10:44,676
So he executed a solo rescue
mission, which failed.
118
00:10:45,552 --> 00:10:47,053
This is his last transmission.
119
00:10:49,055 --> 00:10:51,599
- Who is he?
- Some climate change doomsayer.
120
00:10:51,766 --> 00:10:53,268
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory"...
121
00:10:53,435 --> 00:10:55,186
about the world healing
itself, or some such.
122
00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:59,232
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.
123
00:10:59,691 --> 00:11:02,027
This is Professor Arnold...
124
00:11:02,193 --> 00:11:04,237
at Imperial College
this morning.
125
00:11:05,322 --> 00:11:07,073
It's all yours.
126
00:11:07,282 --> 00:11:09,534
And don't forget
your membership proposal.
127
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:12,787
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.
128
00:11:12,954 --> 00:11:14,831
17 years and still...
129
00:11:14,998 --> 00:11:18,626
evolving with the times remains an
entirely foreign concept to you.
130
00:11:18,835 --> 00:11:20,003
Need I remind you,
I wouldn't be here
131
00:11:20,086 --> 00:11:21,671
if it weren't for
that young man?
132
00:11:22,047 --> 00:11:24,632
He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.
133
00:11:24,799 --> 00:11:26,009
More so.
134
00:11:26,176 --> 00:11:29,179
But he wasn't exactly
one of us, was he?
135
00:11:29,971 --> 00:11:31,723
Let's face it, Galahad,
136
00:11:31,806 --> 00:11:33,558
your little experiment failed.
137
00:11:35,226 --> 00:11:37,771
With respect, Arthur,
you're a snob.
138
00:11:37,937 --> 00:11:39,022
"With respect"?
139
00:11:40,231 --> 00:11:42,400
The world is changing.
140
00:11:42,567 --> 00:11:46,571
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.
141
00:12:05,048 --> 00:12:06,049
Eggsy?
142
00:12:08,593 --> 00:12:10,261
Eggsy, come here.
143
00:12:13,556 --> 00:12:15,266
- Got any Rizla, babe?
- No.
144
00:12:15,392 --> 00:12:16,393
Why don't you do
your mum a favor,
145
00:12:16,476 --> 00:12:17,519
go down to the shop
and get some?
146
00:12:17,644 --> 00:12:18,937
Get them yourself.
Oi.
147
00:12:19,104 --> 00:12:21,773
What have I said to you about
speaking to Dean like that?
148
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:24,234
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?
149
00:12:25,568 --> 00:12:27,028
I'll tell you what.
150
00:12:27,195 --> 00:12:28,947
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...
151
00:12:29,114 --> 00:12:30,949
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...
152
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:35,036
we'll show your mother how three
can be good company.
153
00:12:37,622 --> 00:12:38,623
Thanks, babe.
154
00:12:46,339 --> 00:12:48,049
There we go.
155
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,218
Is that better?
156
00:13:04,983 --> 00:13:06,401
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
157
00:13:06,443 --> 00:13:07,444
why doesn't she leave him?
158
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,529
Low self-esteem.
That's her problem.
159
00:13:09,696 --> 00:13:11,448
Fuck off. Why would she
have low self-esteem?
160
00:13:11,614 --> 00:13:13,450
Eggsy's mum is well fit.
161
00:13:13,783 --> 00:13:15,952
- No offense, bruv.
- It's all right.
162
00:13:16,870 --> 00:13:19,205
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.
163
00:13:19,372 --> 00:13:20,790
Are you mental, cuz?
164
00:13:20,957 --> 00:13:22,333
He'd just get
that lot to do you,
165
00:13:22,417 --> 00:13:23,626
and then pretend
he knew nothing...
166
00:13:26,129 --> 00:13:27,130
...about it.
167
00:13:27,547 --> 00:13:29,841
Oi! You think you can chat shit
about us and we won't do nothing...
168
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:32,135
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?
169
00:13:32,302 --> 00:13:34,137
Pretty much, yeah.
170
00:13:34,304 --> 00:13:36,473
Bruv, just leave it.
Let's just go, man.
171
00:13:36,639 --> 00:13:37,640
It's not worth it.
172
00:13:37,724 --> 00:13:40,310
You boys have
outstayed your welcome.
173
00:13:40,643 --> 00:13:41,644
Leave.
174
00:13:43,396 --> 00:13:44,397
What?
175
00:13:45,148 --> 00:13:46,983
I'm sorry about that, bruv.
176
00:13:50,069 --> 00:13:51,070
Yeah.
177
00:13:51,154 --> 00:13:52,197
Mug.
178
00:13:54,324 --> 00:13:56,493
They weren't fucking
worth it, boys.
179
00:13:57,535 --> 00:14:00,830
It's freezing.
Why are we walking?
180
00:14:00,997 --> 00:14:02,832
You jacked his
fucking car keys, bruv?
181
00:14:02,999 --> 00:14:05,502
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.
182
00:14:06,211 --> 00:14:07,504
Shit!
183
00:14:13,384 --> 00:14:14,886
Hold on, boys.
184
00:14:17,388 --> 00:14:19,098
Hey, that's my fucking car!
185
00:14:19,265 --> 00:14:21,518
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!
186
00:14:21,684 --> 00:14:23,728
I swear, you want to
fucking stop it!
187
00:14:23,895 --> 00:14:26,439
You're a fucking dead man!
Stop it!
188
00:14:29,359 --> 00:14:30,360
I'm gonna fucking have ya!
189
00:14:35,532 --> 00:14:36,950
Floor it, Eggsy!
190
00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:38,034
Floor it!
191
00:14:38,910 --> 00:14:40,161
Wanker!
192
00:14:41,996 --> 00:14:43,498
Yeah, Dean.
Look, it's me.
193
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,667
Eggsy just stole
my fucking car, yeah.
194
00:14:45,833 --> 00:14:48,670
I've come out the pub, he's done
15 donuts in my fucking face...
195
00:14:48,836 --> 00:14:50,380
and he's drove off.
196
00:14:50,547 --> 00:14:52,674
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.
197
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,051
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.
198
00:14:55,218 --> 00:14:58,054
Hold up! What the...?
199
00:15:38,761 --> 00:15:39,762
Dickhead.
200
00:15:41,806 --> 00:15:43,725
Foxes are vermin, cuz.
201
00:15:43,891 --> 00:15:45,310
Should've driven it over.
202
00:15:45,476 --> 00:15:47,437
Should've done a lot of things.
203
00:15:47,604 --> 00:15:49,272
I'll sort this.
Get out of the car.
204
00:15:49,981 --> 00:15:51,941
I said, get out
of the fucking car!
205
00:16:00,533 --> 00:16:03,911
Eggsy, there is no such
thing as honor amongst thieves.
206
00:16:04,912 --> 00:16:08,625
Now, you can start giving me some
names of the boys you were with...
207
00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:10,627
or you go down.
208
00:16:11,502 --> 00:16:12,837
It's up to you.
209
00:16:14,047 --> 00:16:15,632
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.
210
00:16:18,426 --> 00:16:21,846
Well, I hope it's to your mum...
211
00:16:22,013 --> 00:16:25,516
to tell her you're gonna be 18
months late for your dinner.
212
00:16:56,464 --> 00:16:58,841
Customer Complaints,
how may I help you? Um...
213
00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:01,177
My name's Eggsy Unwin.
214
00:17:01,344 --> 00:17:05,848
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.
215
00:17:06,015 --> 00:17:07,266
I'm in Holborn police station...
216
00:17:07,433 --> 00:17:09,102
and my mum said to call this
number if ever I needed help.
217
00:17:09,268 --> 00:17:11,771
I'm sorry, sir.
Wrong number.
218
00:17:11,938 --> 00:17:13,272
Wait! Wait!
219
00:17:14,857 --> 00:17:17,276
Oxfords not brogues.
220
00:17:19,028 --> 00:17:20,405
Your complaint has been
duly noted...
221
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:23,700
and we hope that we have not
lost you as a loyal customer.
222
00:17:35,044 --> 00:17:36,129
Yeah.
223
00:17:37,714 --> 00:17:39,048
You what?
224
00:17:40,383 --> 00:17:41,426
I...
225
00:17:41,718 --> 00:17:42,885
Yeah.
226
00:17:43,594 --> 00:17:46,222
Yes, I totally understand.
227
00:18:05,616 --> 00:18:06,826
Eggsy.
228
00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:08,953
Would you like a lift home?
229
00:18:09,829 --> 00:18:10,913
Who are you?
230
00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:12,415
The man who got you released.
231
00:18:12,582 --> 00:18:13,916
That ain't an answer.
232
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,419
A little gratitude
would be nice.
233
00:18:17,420 --> 00:18:20,923
My name is Harry Hart,
and I gave you that medal.
234
00:18:22,467 --> 00:18:24,469
Your father saved my life.
235
00:18:27,764 --> 00:18:29,891
So before you was a
tailor, was you in the army?
236
00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:31,768
Like an officer.
237
00:18:31,934 --> 00:18:33,436
Not quite.
238
00:18:33,603 --> 00:18:35,396
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?
239
00:18:35,563 --> 00:18:37,815
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
240
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:40,443
But my dad
saved your life, yeah?
241
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:44,989
The day your father died,
I missed something.
242
00:18:46,115 --> 00:18:47,241
And if it weren't
for his courage...
243
00:18:47,408 --> 00:18:50,328
my mistake would have cost the
lives of every man present.
244
00:18:51,412 --> 00:18:52,747
So I owe him.
245
00:18:53,998 --> 00:18:55,958
Your father was a brave man.
246
00:18:57,168 --> 00:18:58,961
A good man.
247
00:18:59,128 --> 00:19:00,171
And having read your files...
248
00:19:00,338 --> 00:19:02,757
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.
249
00:19:02,924 --> 00:19:03,966
You can't talk to me like that.
250
00:19:04,008 --> 00:19:05,009
Huge I.Q.
251
00:19:05,301 --> 00:19:07,178
Great performance
at primary school.
252
00:19:08,095 --> 00:19:09,430
And it all went tits up.
253
00:19:09,597 --> 00:19:12,308
Drugs, petty crime.
Never had a job.
254
00:19:12,475 --> 00:19:14,143
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?
255
00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:15,812
Doesn't explain why you
gave up your hobbies.
256
00:19:15,978 --> 00:19:18,564
First prize, regional
Under-10s gymnastics...
257
00:19:18,731 --> 00:19:19,941
two years in a row.
258
00:19:20,107 --> 00:19:22,318
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.
259
00:19:22,485 --> 00:19:24,320
Yeah, well, when you grow up
around someone like my stepdad...
260
00:19:24,362 --> 00:19:25,822
you pick up
new hobbies pretty quick.
261
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,657
Of course.
Always someone else's fault.
262
00:19:29,408 --> 00:19:31,077
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?
263
00:19:31,244 --> 00:19:32,328
You were
halfway through training,
264
00:19:32,370 --> 00:19:33,621
doing brilliantly,
but you gave up.
265
00:19:33,788 --> 00:19:35,790
Because my mum went mental.
266
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:38,751
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.
267
00:19:38,918 --> 00:19:41,337
Didn't want me being cannon
fodder for snobs like you.
268
00:19:41,504 --> 00:19:43,923
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...
269
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,300
with no thought about
why we do what we do.
270
00:19:46,759 --> 00:19:49,345
We ain't got much choice.
You get me?
271
00:19:49,804 --> 00:19:52,181
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...
272
00:19:52,348 --> 00:19:55,184
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.
273
00:19:55,351 --> 00:19:58,187
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking the piss?
274
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,148
Some more examples
of young men...
275
00:20:01,315 --> 00:20:03,025
who simply need
a silver suppository?
276
00:20:03,192 --> 00:20:04,694
No, they're exceptions.
Come on.
277
00:20:04,861 --> 00:20:06,320
Nonsense. We haven't
finished our drinks.
278
00:20:06,487 --> 00:20:07,572
After you nicked his car...
279
00:20:07,738 --> 00:20:09,031
Dean says you're fair game.
280
00:20:09,198 --> 00:20:10,658
He don't give a shit
what your mum says.
281
00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:12,201
Um, listen, boys...
282
00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:15,538
I've had a rather
emotional day...
283
00:20:15,705 --> 00:20:17,456
so whatever your beef
with Eggsy is,
284
00:20:17,540 --> 00:20:20,042
and I'm sure
it's well-founded...
285
00:20:20,376 --> 00:20:21,878
I'd appreciate it enormously...
286
00:20:22,044 --> 00:20:24,005
if you could just
leave us in peace...
287
00:20:24,171 --> 00:20:26,716
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.
288
00:20:29,886 --> 00:20:31,262
You should get out
of the way, Granddad,
289
00:20:31,345 --> 00:20:32,430
or you'll get hurt and all.
290
00:20:32,722 --> 00:20:34,056
He ain't joking.
You should go.
291
00:20:40,897 --> 00:20:42,064
Excuse me.
292
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:45,026
If you're looking for
another rent boy,
293
00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:46,611
they're on the
corner of Smith street.
294
00:20:52,575 --> 00:20:53,868
Manners...
295
00:20:55,077 --> 00:20:56,370
maketh...
296
00:20:59,123 --> 00:21:00,625
man.
297
00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:09,884
Do you know what that means?
298
00:21:11,761 --> 00:21:13,930
Then let me teach you a lesson.
299
00:21:22,772 --> 00:21:25,816
Are we going to stand around here
all day, or are we going to fight?
300
00:22:10,611 --> 00:22:13,614
You fucking dirty,
fucking dirty...
301
00:22:54,864 --> 00:22:56,282
Sorry about that.
302
00:22:56,449 --> 00:22:58,200
Needed to let off
a little steam.
303
00:22:59,368 --> 00:23:02,872
I heard yesterday
a friend of mine died.
304
00:23:03,039 --> 00:23:05,082
He knew your father too,
actually.
305
00:23:07,585 --> 00:23:09,712
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.
306
00:23:09,879 --> 00:23:11,881
I shouldn't have done this in front of you.
307
00:23:12,048 --> 00:23:14,050
No, please! I won't
say nothing, I swear!
308
00:23:14,216 --> 00:23:15,718
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.
309
00:23:15,885 --> 00:23:17,219
You won't tell a soul?
Ask the feds.
310
00:23:17,386 --> 00:23:18,387
I've never grassed anyone up.
311
00:23:18,554 --> 00:23:20,890
Is that a promise?
On my life!
312
00:23:25,061 --> 00:23:26,896
Much appreciated, Eggsy.
313
00:23:27,063 --> 00:23:28,814
You're right about the snobs.
314
00:23:28,981 --> 00:23:31,233
But there, too,
there are exceptions.
315
00:23:32,151 --> 00:23:33,944
Best of luck with everything.
316
00:23:48,167 --> 00:23:49,418
In celebrity news,
317
00:23:49,502 --> 00:23:52,379
the Richmond Valentine movie
premiered in Hollywood last night.
318
00:23:52,671 --> 00:23:55,466
The story of the internet
billionaire's rise to power...
319
00:23:55,633 --> 00:23:58,427
is expected to be this
award season's hot ticket.
320
00:23:58,594 --> 00:24:01,597
One notable absence from the
red carpet was Iggy Azalea...
321
00:24:01,764 --> 00:24:05,267
still missing three days after she
failed to appear at her Oakland concert.
322
00:24:05,434 --> 00:24:06,977
No ransom has been demanded.
323
00:24:07,144 --> 00:24:09,105
Eggsy, just go, please, because
he's gonna...
324
00:24:10,314 --> 00:24:11,774
No, please, don't hurt him!
325
00:24:11,941 --> 00:24:13,651
Fuck off! Get the fuck away
with ya!
326
00:24:13,818 --> 00:24:15,027
Shut the fuck up!
327
00:24:15,194 --> 00:24:17,321
Who was with you
in that fucking pub?
328
00:24:17,488 --> 00:24:19,615
I want to know the name of
the geezer you was with.
329
00:24:19,782 --> 00:24:21,617
I wasn't with no one!
Who was it?
330
00:24:21,784 --> 00:24:23,202
I don't know what you're on about.
Who was it?
331
00:24:23,369 --> 00:24:24,495
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
332
00:24:24,662 --> 00:24:25,788
Fucking tell me his name!
333
00:24:25,955 --> 00:24:28,290
I don't know who you're
fucking on about!
334
00:24:32,503 --> 00:24:33,504
You listen to me!
335
00:24:33,671 --> 00:24:35,631
I want to know who you was with
in that pub. Do you understand?
336
00:24:35,798 --> 00:24:37,675
I want to know his fucking name!
337
00:24:37,842 --> 00:24:40,803
Because, I swear,
I'll rip your head off.
338
00:24:40,970 --> 00:24:44,014
- Tell me!
- I don't know what you're fucking on about!
339
00:24:44,181 --> 00:24:45,224
Just tell him, Eggsy!
340
00:24:45,391 --> 00:24:47,184
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!
341
00:24:47,351 --> 00:24:48,644
I could kill you right now...
342
00:24:48,811 --> 00:24:51,313
and no one in the whole world
will notice!
343
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,149
But I would.
344
00:24:53,315 --> 00:24:55,151
I have enough evidence
on your activities...
345
00:24:55,317 --> 00:24:57,319
to have you locked up
for the rest of your life...
346
00:24:57,486 --> 00:24:59,697
Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
What the fuck?
347
00:24:59,905 --> 00:25:01,490
So I suggest you
leave the boy alone...
348
00:25:01,657 --> 00:25:04,994
or I shall be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.
349
00:25:06,245 --> 00:25:08,789
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.
350
00:25:08,956 --> 00:25:11,417
What the fuck's going on here?
351
00:25:13,377 --> 00:25:14,587
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!
352
00:25:14,753 --> 00:25:15,963
Hey, we got a racer!
353
00:25:16,130 --> 00:25:17,590
Come here. Hey!
354
00:25:18,299 --> 00:25:19,425
Eggsy, you fucking...
355
00:25:19,592 --> 00:25:20,885
Come here, son!
356
00:25:33,314 --> 00:25:34,398
You wanker!
357
00:25:34,565 --> 00:25:36,192
I'll have you, son!
358
00:26:01,634 --> 00:26:03,636
I've never met a tailor before.
359
00:26:04,470 --> 00:26:05,804
But I know you ain't one.
360
00:26:09,767 --> 00:26:11,435
Come with me.
361
00:26:20,110 --> 00:26:21,403
Come on in.
362
00:26:27,117 --> 00:26:28,118
What do you see?
363
00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:31,622
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.
364
00:26:33,332 --> 00:26:35,668
I see a young man
with potential.
365
00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:38,754
A young man who is loyal.
366
00:26:39,922 --> 00:26:41,632
Who can do as he's asked.
367
00:26:41,799 --> 00:26:44,593
And who wants to do
something good with his life.
368
00:26:46,178 --> 00:26:48,180
Did you see the film
Trading Places?
369
00:26:48,931 --> 00:26:50,266
No.
370
00:26:50,683 --> 00:26:52,184
How about Nikita?
371
00:26:53,269 --> 00:26:54,603
Pretty Woman?
372
00:26:55,521 --> 00:26:56,605
All right.
373
00:26:56,772 --> 00:26:58,440
My point is, that the
lack of a silver spoon
374
00:26:58,482 --> 00:26:59,775
has set you on a certain path...
375
00:26:59,942 --> 00:27:01,777
but you needn't stay on it.
376
00:27:02,027 --> 00:27:06,865
If you're prepared to adapt
and learn, you can transform.
377
00:27:07,449 --> 00:27:09,285
Oh, like in My Fair Lady.
378
00:27:10,327 --> 00:27:12,371
Well, you're full of surprises.
379
00:27:12,621 --> 00:27:15,332
Yes, like My Fair Lady.
380
00:27:16,375 --> 00:27:17,543
Only, in this case,
I'm offering you
381
00:27:17,626 --> 00:27:19,670
the opportunity to
become a Kingsman.
382
00:27:20,337 --> 00:27:21,672
A tailor?
383
00:27:22,172 --> 00:27:23,465
A Kingsman agent.
384
00:27:25,050 --> 00:27:26,302
Like a spy?
385
00:27:26,510 --> 00:27:27,636
Of sorts.
386
00:27:29,471 --> 00:27:30,472
Interested?
387
00:27:31,140 --> 00:27:33,309
You think I've got
anything to lose?
388
00:27:40,482 --> 00:27:41,817
Since 1849...
389
00:27:41,984 --> 00:27:46,155
Kingsman tailors have clothed the
world's most powerful individuals.
390
00:27:46,322 --> 00:27:48,198
By 1919, a great number
of them had
391
00:27:48,282 --> 00:27:51,035
lost their heirs
to World War One.
392
00:27:51,827 --> 00:27:55,164
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.
393
00:27:55,331 --> 00:27:59,335
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.
394
00:27:59,501 --> 00:28:02,421
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...
395
00:28:02,588 --> 00:28:04,214
for the greater good.
396
00:28:04,381 --> 00:28:07,676
And so began our other venture.
397
00:28:08,510 --> 00:28:10,846
An independent, international
intelligence agency...
398
00:28:11,013 --> 00:28:14,350
operating at the
highest level of discretion.
399
00:28:15,142 --> 00:28:16,643
Above the politics
and bureaucracy...
400
00:28:16,810 --> 00:28:20,981
that undermine the integrity of
government-run spy organizations.
401
00:28:21,732 --> 00:28:24,068
The suit is a
modern gentleman's armor.
402
00:28:24,902 --> 00:28:27,988
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.
403
00:28:29,073 --> 00:28:30,657
How deep does this
fucking thing go?
404
00:28:30,824 --> 00:28:31,867
Deep enough.
405
00:29:16,537 --> 00:29:18,247
Shit, we're late.
406
00:29:42,896 --> 00:29:45,441
Your father had the
same look on his face.
407
00:29:47,109 --> 00:29:48,485
As did I.
408
00:29:50,154 --> 00:29:51,280
Come on.
409
00:29:54,074 --> 00:29:55,117
Galahad.
410
00:29:55,284 --> 00:29:56,285
My code name.
411
00:29:56,452 --> 00:29:57,911
Late again, sir.
412
00:29:58,287 --> 00:29:59,580
Good luck.
413
00:29:59,955 --> 00:30:01,290
In you go.
414
00:30:12,801 --> 00:30:13,969
Fall in.
415
00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:19,016
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name is Merlin.
416
00:30:19,183 --> 00:30:20,267
You are about to embark...
417
00:30:20,434 --> 00:30:23,145
on what is probably the most dangerous
job interview in the world.
418
00:30:23,979 --> 00:30:26,190
One of you, and only one of you,
419
00:30:26,273 --> 00:30:28,817
will become the next Lancelot.
420
00:30:29,610 --> 00:30:32,821
Can anybody tell me
what this is?
421
00:30:33,697 --> 00:30:35,324
Yes?
Body bag, sir.
422
00:30:35,491 --> 00:30:37,701
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
423
00:30:37,784 --> 00:30:38,785
Yes, sir.
424
00:30:38,827 --> 00:30:39,828
Good.
425
00:30:39,953 --> 00:30:42,331
In a moment, you will
each collect a body bag.
426
00:30:42,498 --> 00:30:44,333
You will write your name
on that bag.
427
00:30:44,666 --> 00:30:47,920
You will write the details of
your next of kin on that bag.
428
00:30:48,086 --> 00:30:51,340
This represents your acknowledgment of
the risks that you are about to face...
429
00:30:51,673 --> 00:30:54,801
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.
430
00:30:54,968 --> 00:30:58,013
Which, incidentally, if you
break, will result in you...
431
00:30:58,305 --> 00:31:00,641
and your next of kin...
432
00:31:01,099 --> 00:31:02,684
being in that bag.
433
00:31:04,353 --> 00:31:05,771
Is that understood?
434
00:31:07,272 --> 00:31:08,440
Excellent.
435
00:31:09,024 --> 00:31:10,317
Fall out.
436
00:31:17,616 --> 00:31:20,035
Roxanne.
But call me Roxy.
437
00:31:20,786 --> 00:31:22,204
- I'm Eggsy.
- "Eggsy"?
438
00:31:22,371 --> 00:31:23,413
No, "Eggsy."
439
00:31:23,497 --> 00:31:24,831
Eggy?
440
00:31:24,998 --> 00:31:26,124
Where did they dig you up?
441
00:31:26,291 --> 00:31:28,377
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.
442
00:31:28,544 --> 00:31:29,836
No need to bite his head off.
443
00:31:30,003 --> 00:31:32,339
Charlie's only making
conversation, right, Charlie?
444
00:31:32,506 --> 00:31:33,882
Hmm.
I'm Digby.
445
00:31:35,217 --> 00:31:36,218
Digby.
446
00:31:36,301 --> 00:31:37,719
Eggy, this is Rufus.
447
00:31:37,886 --> 00:31:39,388
Rufus, Eggy.
448
00:31:41,557 --> 00:31:44,351
So, Eggy, are you
Oxford or Cambridge?
449
00:31:44,601 --> 00:31:45,602
Neither.
450
00:31:45,686 --> 00:31:46,979
Saint Andrews?
Durham?
451
00:31:47,145 --> 00:31:49,064
No, wait, I think
we may have met.
452
00:31:49,231 --> 00:31:52,943
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?
453
00:31:53,026 --> 00:31:54,027
No.
454
00:31:54,069 --> 00:31:55,153
But if I had,
I would have given you
455
00:31:55,237 --> 00:31:56,572
an extra helping
of secret sauce.
456
00:31:57,322 --> 00:31:59,825
It's definitely Saint Andrews
457
00:32:00,409 --> 00:32:01,577
Just ignore them.
458
00:32:01,743 --> 00:32:02,828
You need a pen?
459
00:32:02,911 --> 00:32:03,912
Cheers.
460
00:32:03,996 --> 00:32:05,414
Amelia, isn't it?
461
00:32:07,082 --> 00:32:08,250
Hi, Eggsy.
462
00:32:08,584 --> 00:32:10,335
Don't take any notice
of those guys.
463
00:32:10,502 --> 00:32:12,212
That's what I told him.
464
00:32:14,506 --> 00:32:15,716
It's just scare tactics.
465
00:32:16,091 --> 00:32:17,593
Classic army technique.
466
00:32:17,926 --> 00:32:18,927
No one's gonna die.
467
00:32:23,056 --> 00:32:24,266
Shame.
468
00:32:26,393 --> 00:32:28,604
Great. You don't
know, the CIA don't know.
469
00:32:28,770 --> 00:32:31,273
Nobody knows who this guy is?
470
00:32:32,024 --> 00:32:33,025
Fine.
471
00:32:33,191 --> 00:32:34,568
Seriously, it's fine.
472
00:32:34,735 --> 00:32:38,614
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.
473
00:32:38,780 --> 00:32:42,242
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.
474
00:32:42,409 --> 00:32:44,119
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...
475
00:32:44,286 --> 00:32:46,747
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.
476
00:32:46,913 --> 00:32:49,666
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.
477
00:32:49,833 --> 00:32:51,460
I wanted to.
478
00:32:51,627 --> 00:32:55,339
Climate change research, lobbying,
years of study, billions of dollars...
479
00:32:55,505 --> 00:32:57,299
and you know why I quit?
480
00:32:57,758 --> 00:33:02,512
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.
481
00:33:02,846 --> 00:33:05,349
Hence, my epiphany.
482
00:33:05,515 --> 00:33:08,268
Money won't solve this.
483
00:33:08,644 --> 00:33:11,104
Those idiots who
call themselves politicians...
484
00:33:11,271 --> 00:33:15,317
have buried their heads in the sand and
stood for nothing but re-election.
485
00:33:16,109 --> 00:33:20,447
So I spent the last two years
trying to find a real solution.
486
00:33:21,031 --> 00:33:22,949
And I found it.
487
00:33:24,034 --> 00:33:27,162
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...
488
00:33:27,329 --> 00:33:29,665
I suggest you open
your fucking ears,
489
00:33:29,748 --> 00:33:31,458
because I'm about to
tell it to you.
490
00:33:31,958 --> 00:33:33,627
Go on, Mr. Valentine.
491
00:33:34,002 --> 00:33:35,504
I'm still listening.
492
00:33:36,296 --> 00:33:40,175
As long as you
agree to all my terms.
493
00:34:28,390 --> 00:34:29,933
All right, no one panic.
Listen to me.
494
00:34:30,183 --> 00:34:31,226
Stay calm.
495
00:34:31,727 --> 00:34:32,728
Fuck.
496
00:34:34,896 --> 00:34:36,440
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!
497
00:34:36,732 --> 00:34:38,442
Loo snorkels?
Showerheads!
498
00:34:39,735 --> 00:34:40,819
Showerheads?
499
00:34:40,902 --> 00:34:42,362
She's right.
Fucking go!
500
00:34:44,281 --> 00:34:46,074
Hey, hang about, what's wrong
with the fucking door?
501
00:36:10,492 --> 00:36:13,286
Congratulations on
completing your first task.
502
00:36:13,537 --> 00:36:16,206
Charlie, Roxy, well done.
503
00:36:16,373 --> 00:36:18,166
For those of you
who are still confused...
504
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:20,502
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...
505
00:36:20,669 --> 00:36:22,504
you have an
unlimited air supply.
506
00:36:22,671 --> 00:36:25,173
Simple physics,
worth remembering.
507
00:36:25,340 --> 00:36:28,635
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.
508
00:36:28,802 --> 00:36:29,803
He's probably seen
enough of them.
509
00:36:29,970 --> 00:36:32,848
Yeah, you can all wipe
those smirks off your faces.
510
00:36:33,014 --> 00:36:34,307
Because as far as I'm concerned,
511
00:36:34,349 --> 00:36:36,852
every single one of you
has failed.
512
00:36:37,185 --> 00:36:40,230
You all forgot
the most important thing...
513
00:36:41,231 --> 00:36:42,524
teamwork.
514
00:36:56,705 --> 00:36:59,374
So much for classic
army technique.
515
00:37:02,544 --> 00:37:03,795
35.
516
00:37:04,462 --> 00:37:05,839
105.
517
00:37:06,464 --> 00:37:08,800
That's it. That's it.
518
00:37:13,179 --> 00:37:14,180
Hello.
519
00:37:14,848 --> 00:37:15,891
Can I help you?
520
00:37:16,057 --> 00:37:19,436
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.
521
00:37:19,978 --> 00:37:23,732
Oh, really?
It's actually quite fascinating.
522
00:37:25,901 --> 00:37:27,569
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...
523
00:37:27,736 --> 00:37:29,446
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...
524
00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:32,198
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.
525
00:37:32,365 --> 00:37:34,117
I have no idea
what you're talking...
526
00:37:34,910 --> 00:37:37,162
I'm not supposed to say it,
but it was...
527
00:37:37,537 --> 00:37:39,247
Oh, for God's sake,
I've barely touched you.
528
00:37:39,414 --> 00:37:40,707
Oh, man up!
529
00:38:01,561 --> 00:38:03,480
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna...
530
00:38:05,023 --> 00:38:06,983
He made me kill
Professor Arnold.
531
00:38:07,150 --> 00:38:08,485
I goddamn loved
Professor Arnold.
532
00:38:08,652 --> 00:38:09,694
Well, the good news is...
533
00:38:09,861 --> 00:38:11,655
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.
534
00:38:11,821 --> 00:38:13,782
You know what's not good news?
535
00:38:13,949 --> 00:38:15,659
"My colleague died!"
536
00:38:15,825 --> 00:38:17,243
That's what he said!
537
00:38:17,410 --> 00:38:19,746
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.
538
00:38:19,996 --> 00:38:21,748
Whoever you spoke to...
I told you...
539
00:38:21,915 --> 00:38:24,793
I made contact with the KGB,
MI6, Mossad and Beijing.
540
00:38:24,918 --> 00:38:27,087
They all insist
he wasn't one of theirs.
541
00:38:27,462 --> 00:38:28,755
Beijing-
542
00:38:29,214 --> 00:38:33,426
Sc freaky how there's no recognizable
name for the Chinese secret service.
543
00:38:33,885 --> 00:38:36,054
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?
544
00:38:37,055 --> 00:38:38,807
You know what? Fuck it.
545
00:38:39,265 --> 00:38:40,850
We need to speed things up.
546
00:38:41,017 --> 00:38:42,352
Bring the
product release forward.
547
00:38:42,519 --> 00:38:44,354
We're only halfway
into production...
548
00:38:44,521 --> 00:38:45,939
and speeding it will
cost a fortune.
549
00:38:46,106 --> 00:38:47,399
Do I look like I give a fuck?
550
00:38:47,649 --> 00:38:49,317
Just get it done.
551
00:38:51,987 --> 00:38:54,572
As some of you will
have learned last night...
552
00:38:55,991 --> 00:38:59,202
teamwork is paramount
here at Kingsman.
553
00:38:59,369 --> 00:39:03,164
We're here to enhance your
skills, test you to the limit.
554
00:39:03,331 --> 00:39:06,751
Which is why you're
gonna pick a puppy.
555
00:39:06,918 --> 00:39:08,753
Wherever you go, your dog goes.
556
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,131
You will care for it.
You will teach it.
557
00:39:11,297 --> 00:39:14,342
And by the time it's fully
trained, so will you be.
558
00:39:14,509 --> 00:39:17,095
Those of you
who are still here, that is.
559
00:39:17,262 --> 00:39:19,180
Do you understand?
560
00:39:19,389 --> 00:39:21,266
Choose your puppy.
561
00:39:23,935 --> 00:39:25,061
A poodle?
562
00:39:25,145 --> 00:39:26,146
What?
563
00:39:26,354 --> 00:39:27,939
They're gun dogs.
564
00:39:28,106 --> 00:39:29,607
Oldest working breed.
565
00:39:29,774 --> 00:39:31,568
Easy to train.
566
00:39:32,610 --> 00:39:33,862
A pug?
567
00:39:35,238 --> 00:39:36,906
It's a bulldog, innit?
568
00:39:39,367 --> 00:39:40,702
It'll get bigger,
though, won't it?
569
00:39:44,622 --> 00:39:46,750
Shit.
570
00:39:48,752 --> 00:39:52,088
His MRI shows
no signs of concussion.
571
00:39:52,255 --> 00:39:55,216
No direct brain trauma at all.
572
00:39:55,550 --> 00:39:57,635
How much longer can he be out?
573
00:39:57,802 --> 00:39:58,970
That's the
million-dollar question.
574
00:39:59,137 --> 00:40:00,972
We don't know what he was
exposed to in there.
575
00:40:01,139 --> 00:40:02,599
What about Harry's footage?
576
00:40:02,766 --> 00:40:04,434
It didn't stream
to his home terminal.
577
00:40:04,601 --> 00:40:07,562
Encrypted and uncrackable.
578
00:40:07,812 --> 00:40:08,938
If and when he comes around...
579
00:40:09,105 --> 00:40:11,733
you might want to have a with
him about sharing his password.
580
00:40:11,900 --> 00:40:13,568
Is he gonna be all right?
581
00:40:14,736 --> 00:40:16,404
We need to have patience, Eggsy.
582
00:40:16,821 --> 00:40:18,156
But there's hope, okay?
583
00:40:18,740 --> 00:40:20,450
If I were you, I'd concentrate
on your training.
584
00:40:20,617 --> 00:40:22,786
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.
585
00:40:30,418 --> 00:40:31,920
Come on, come on, come on!
586
00:40:32,087 --> 00:40:34,172
J.B., come on! Come on!
587
00:40:37,258 --> 00:40:39,260
I'm not coming last
because of you.
588
00:40:40,095 --> 00:40:42,597
J.B., I'll shoot you! Goddamn
you, I'll fucking shoot you!
589
00:40:43,848 --> 00:40:45,517
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.
590
00:40:47,685 --> 00:40:49,187
Bollocks.
591
00:41:31,729 --> 00:41:32,730
Water!
592
00:41:35,984 --> 00:41:37,485
Come on, then!
Eggsy, forget it!
593
00:41:37,652 --> 00:41:39,154
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?
594
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,489
Seriously, you'll get thrown
out, and it's just not worth it.
595
00:41:41,656 --> 00:41:43,158
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!
596
00:41:43,324 --> 00:41:44,659
Do it. Come on, you pleb.
597
00:41:44,826 --> 00:41:46,244
Charlie, fuck off!
598
00:41:47,287 --> 00:41:48,329
Aw.
599
00:41:48,371 --> 00:41:51,332
Yeah, go on, walk away.
Dickhead.
600
00:41:52,667 --> 00:41:53,751
Come on, J.B.
601
00:41:53,918 --> 00:41:55,003
Come on, good boy.
602
00:42:08,808 --> 00:42:11,186
You have exactly one
hour to complete the test...
603
00:42:11,352 --> 00:42:12,896
starting now.
604
00:42:14,981 --> 00:42:16,733
New target, 800 meters.
605
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:18,526
You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here...
606
00:42:18,693 --> 00:42:22,197
lingering like some big, steaming
shit that just won't flush.
607
00:42:22,363 --> 00:42:23,865
Roger that.
Target identified.
608
00:42:24,032 --> 00:42:26,034
And how about you
shut the fuck up?
609
00:42:26,201 --> 00:42:27,327
Positive discrimination...
610
00:42:27,493 --> 00:42:28,912
that's what it is.
611
00:42:29,078 --> 00:42:30,246
It's like those fucking
state school kids
612
00:42:30,330 --> 00:42:32,248
who get into Oxford
on C grades...
613
00:42:32,415 --> 00:42:34,042
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.
614
00:42:34,209 --> 00:42:35,710
You don't know fuck all
about my grades.
615
00:42:35,877 --> 00:42:37,754
Forgive me, I'm sure
you're highly educated.
616
00:42:37,921 --> 00:42:39,380
Fire when ready.
617
00:42:41,549 --> 00:42:43,551
How's that for
positive discrimination?
618
00:42:56,231 --> 00:42:58,024
I want to thank
you both for listening...
619
00:42:58,191 --> 00:43:01,277
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...
620
00:43:01,444 --> 00:43:02,445
Your Royal Highness.
621
00:43:02,779 --> 00:43:04,405
And you, too, Prime Minister.
622
00:43:04,572 --> 00:43:07,575
I think this is quite brilliant.
623
00:43:08,076 --> 00:43:10,578
It's absolutely brilliant.
624
00:43:11,371 --> 00:43:14,207
You are completely crazy.
625
00:43:16,251 --> 00:43:17,794
And as for you, Prime Minister
626
00:43:17,919 --> 00:43:20,129
I'm speechless
you'd even consider this.
627
00:43:25,426 --> 00:43:28,388
- Don't touch...
- Sorry, Your Royal Highness.
628
00:43:28,554 --> 00:43:29,597
But you've got a
big role to play...
629
00:43:29,764 --> 00:43:32,308
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.
630
00:43:32,642 --> 00:43:33,977
You're popular, inspirational...
631
00:43:34,143 --> 00:43:36,604
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.
632
00:43:36,771 --> 00:43:39,607
Now, whether you're
on board or not...
633
00:43:39,774 --> 00:43:41,401
I'm going to have to insist...
634
00:43:41,567 --> 00:43:44,445
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.
635
00:43:44,946 --> 00:43:47,156
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?
636
00:43:48,116 --> 00:43:49,617
Well, I think it's about time...
637
00:43:49,784 --> 00:43:54,455
that a politician did something that,
uh, actually made a difference.
638
00:43:54,956 --> 00:43:56,791
Too true.
639
00:43:56,958 --> 00:43:57,959
What?
640
00:43:58,001 --> 00:43:59,294
Take her away.
641
00:44:02,755 --> 00:44:03,756
Drink?
642
00:44:04,799 --> 00:44:06,301
Why not?
643
00:44:08,219 --> 00:44:10,179
Guards! Help!
644
00:44:10,263 --> 00:44:11,264
Don't worry.
645
00:44:11,306 --> 00:44:12,807
No harm will come
to the princess.
646
00:44:13,141 --> 00:44:14,517
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
647
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,270
so it really doesn't matter.
648
00:44:18,771 --> 00:44:19,772
Release the princess!
649
00:44:53,514 --> 00:44:54,682
Okay, you're done.
650
00:44:54,849 --> 00:44:56,351
Not so bad, right?
651
00:44:56,893 --> 00:44:58,728
Hardly felt a thing.
652
00:44:59,020 --> 00:45:00,521
Welcome aboard.
653
00:45:00,980 --> 00:45:03,733
Pleasure is all mine.
654
00:45:09,155 --> 00:45:10,156
Ever heard of knocking?
655
00:45:11,366 --> 00:45:12,700
Only when I'm casing
a place to rob.
656
00:45:14,202 --> 00:45:15,370
Merlin said you
wanted to see me?
657
00:45:16,662 --> 00:45:18,706
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.
658
00:45:18,998 --> 00:45:20,041
Sit.
659
00:45:22,543 --> 00:45:25,421
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.
660
00:45:25,588 --> 00:45:28,091
Your test results were even
better than I could've hoped.
661
00:45:30,718 --> 00:45:31,886
Come in.
662
00:45:36,057 --> 00:45:38,726
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.
663
00:45:38,893 --> 00:45:39,894
You're dismissed.
664
00:45:40,019 --> 00:45:41,729
Nonsense.
Let him observe.
665
00:45:41,938 --> 00:45:43,564
Might learn a thing or two.
666
00:45:44,065 --> 00:45:46,067
As you wish.
Take a look at this.
667
00:45:46,109 --> 00:45:48,111
Oh, for God's
sake, I've barely touched you.
668
00:45:48,194 --> 00:45:49,195
Oh, man up!
669
00:45:49,695 --> 00:45:51,406
Fucking hell!
670
00:45:51,572 --> 00:45:53,533
That is rank, Harry.
671
00:45:54,242 --> 00:45:55,576
You blew up his head?
672
00:45:55,743 --> 00:45:57,203
It's a bit much, innit?
673
00:45:57,370 --> 00:46:01,040
Actually, the explosion was
caused by an implant in his neck.
674
00:46:01,249 --> 00:46:02,750
Here, under the scar.
675
00:46:03,084 --> 00:46:05,586
Did my hardware pick up
the signal that triggered it?
676
00:46:05,753 --> 00:46:07,255
Fortunately, yes.
677
00:46:07,588 --> 00:46:09,549
Unfortunately, the IP
address I traced it to...
678
00:46:09,715 --> 00:46:11,926
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.
679
00:46:12,093 --> 00:46:13,136
That's not much of a lead.
680
00:46:13,219 --> 00:46:14,720
He has millions of
employees worldwide.
681
00:46:15,096 --> 00:46:17,265
That Richmond Valentine
is a genius.
682
00:46:20,893 --> 00:46:23,062
Did you not see
his announcement today?
683
00:46:23,771 --> 00:46:24,939
No.
684
00:46:28,985 --> 00:46:32,572
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...
685
00:46:32,738 --> 00:46:34,615
on cell phone
and internet usage.
686
00:46:34,782 --> 00:46:37,910
It gives me great pleasure
to announce...
687
00:46:38,077 --> 00:46:40,621
those days are over.
688
00:46:40,788 --> 00:46:41,831
As of tomorrow...
689
00:46:41,998 --> 00:46:45,835
every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...
690
00:46:46,002 --> 00:46:50,131
compatible with any cell
phone, any computer...
691
00:46:50,298 --> 00:46:54,469
and utilize my communications
network for free.
692
00:46:54,635 --> 00:46:55,970
Free calls...
693
00:46:56,137 --> 00:46:57,638
free Internet...
694
00:46:57,805 --> 00:46:59,307
for everyone.
695
00:47:00,308 --> 00:47:01,642
Forever.
696
00:47:17,492 --> 00:47:20,161
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.
697
00:47:20,661 --> 00:47:23,331
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a tête-à -tête.
698
00:47:26,834 --> 00:47:29,295
He's having a
gala dinner next week.
699
00:47:29,462 --> 00:47:31,172
I'll get you an invitation.
700
00:47:31,255 --> 00:47:32,256
You need to be careful, though.
701
00:47:32,507 --> 00:47:34,467
Since you've been out, hundreds
of VIPs have gone missing.
702
00:47:34,634 --> 00:47:37,011
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.
703
00:47:37,345 --> 00:47:41,057
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.
704
00:47:53,861 --> 00:47:55,029
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
705
00:47:55,196 --> 00:47:56,364
What, don't like heights?
706
00:47:56,531 --> 00:47:57,532
Yeah, it's okay.
707
00:47:57,740 --> 00:48:01,369
I've done it before, which is
probably why, come to think of it.
708
00:48:02,662 --> 00:48:04,539
Hey, it's gonna be all right.
709
00:48:04,705 --> 00:48:06,165
You're top of the class.
710
00:48:08,167 --> 00:48:09,377
Listen up.
711
00:48:09,544 --> 00:48:12,338
Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.
712
00:48:12,505 --> 00:48:16,175
If I read you on the radar, or you
miss the target, you go home.
713
00:48:16,551 --> 00:48:17,718
Is that understood?
714
00:48:21,222 --> 00:48:23,849
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.
715
00:48:25,184 --> 00:48:26,602
We gotta go.
716
00:48:35,861 --> 00:48:37,738
Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.
717
00:48:37,905 --> 00:48:38,906
Of course you can't.
718
00:48:39,073 --> 00:48:40,408
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?
719
00:48:48,916 --> 00:48:50,918
Eggsy, wait! Hang on!
720
00:48:51,919 --> 00:48:53,421
Roxy, just stop fucking about!
721
00:48:54,797 --> 00:48:55,798
Follow me, yeah?
722
00:49:10,104 --> 00:49:11,939
Come on!
723
00:49:13,232 --> 00:49:15,276
Roxy, it's now or never.
724
00:49:16,569 --> 00:49:17,778
Jump!
725
00:49:36,422 --> 00:49:37,757
Good girl, Rox...
726
00:49:37,923 --> 00:49:39,508
I'm glad you made it!
727
00:49:52,313 --> 00:49:53,981
Yeah!
728
00:49:54,649 --> 00:49:55,650
Come on!
729
00:49:58,027 --> 00:50:00,154
My, my, you're all
very cheerful.
730
00:50:00,321 --> 00:50:02,490
Did you really think it was
gonna be that straightforward?
731
00:50:02,657 --> 00:50:05,034
Any idiot can
read a heads-up display.
732
00:50:05,201 --> 00:50:08,871
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.
733
00:50:09,455 --> 00:50:12,958
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.
734
00:50:14,335 --> 00:50:16,003
- What, no parachute?
- Shit!
735
00:50:16,379 --> 00:50:17,505
Who?
736
00:50:17,630 --> 00:50:18,631
Fuck!
737
00:50:18,673 --> 00:50:19,674
Which one?
738
00:50:19,799 --> 00:50:21,217
What do we do?
739
00:50:21,384 --> 00:50:22,802
I told you.
Aim for the target.
740
00:50:22,968 --> 00:50:24,220
Come in under the radar.
741
00:50:24,387 --> 00:50:26,347
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.
742
00:50:26,722 --> 00:50:29,684
But if I do have to, and
you're inside the target...
743
00:50:30,184 --> 00:50:31,894
please know I'll
be very impressed.
744
00:50:32,061 --> 00:50:33,479
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit!
745
00:50:37,358 --> 00:50:39,026
Everybody listen,
I've got a plan!
746
00:50:40,736 --> 00:50:43,698
Pair off! Grab the
closest person to them.
747
00:50:46,367 --> 00:50:47,535
Rufus, come on!
748
00:50:47,660 --> 00:50:48,661
Oh, fuck!
749
00:50:49,537 --> 00:50:50,538
Rufus!
750
00:50:50,871 --> 00:50:52,039
Oh, Shit! I can't!
751
00:50:55,501 --> 00:50:56,502
Fuck!
752
00:50:57,920 --> 00:50:59,046
Oh, thank God!
753
00:50:59,213 --> 00:51:01,048
Rufus, you wanker!
754
00:51:02,258 --> 00:51:03,676
Shit, we're an odd number now!
755
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:05,845
Quick, make a circle!
756
00:51:06,011 --> 00:51:07,722
Fuck, he's right!
Boys, let's do it.
757
00:51:12,435 --> 00:51:14,520
We pull our cords one by one!
758
00:51:14,687 --> 00:51:15,896
When we know who's fucked...
759
00:51:16,063 --> 00:51:17,398
the person on
their right grabs them.
760
00:51:19,191 --> 00:51:20,443
Okay, Eggsy.
761
00:51:20,901 --> 00:51:21,902
Good plan, Eggsy.
762
00:51:22,069 --> 00:51:24,238
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.
763
00:51:24,405 --> 00:51:25,406
Me first!
764
00:51:27,867 --> 00:51:28,868
Oh, fuck!
765
00:51:28,909 --> 00:51:30,244
Yes!
766
00:51:32,288 --> 00:51:34,707
Okay, me next.
767
00:51:36,709 --> 00:51:38,252
See you on the ground, boys.
768
00:51:42,089 --> 00:51:43,090
Now me.
769
00:51:46,969 --> 00:51:47,970
Fuck!
770
00:51:52,266 --> 00:51:53,309
Roxy...
771
00:51:53,392 --> 00:51:55,060
no matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?
772
00:51:58,939 --> 00:52:00,232
Okay, Eggsy.
773
00:52:00,399 --> 00:52:01,567
- Yours first, okay?
- Yep.
774
00:52:14,538 --> 00:52:15,539
Oh, shit!
775
00:52:23,422 --> 00:52:24,673
Shit!
776
00:52:26,801 --> 00:52:27,802
Shit!
777
00:52:29,470 --> 00:52:30,471
Rox!
778
00:52:33,933 --> 00:52:35,017
Fuck.
779
00:52:51,367 --> 00:52:53,536
Hugo, Digby.
780
00:52:53,702 --> 00:52:56,497
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.
781
00:52:56,664 --> 00:52:58,999
Rufus, you opened too soon.
782
00:52:59,166 --> 00:53:00,501
You were all over the radar.
783
00:53:00,668 --> 00:53:02,503
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.
784
00:53:04,630 --> 00:53:06,841
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.
785
00:53:07,174 --> 00:53:08,801
You set a new record.
786
00:53:08,968 --> 00:53:10,177
Opening at 300 feet...
787
00:53:10,344 --> 00:53:11,387
that's pretty ballsy.
788
00:53:11,554 --> 00:53:14,056
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.
789
00:53:15,182 --> 00:53:16,183
Sorry, sir.
790
00:53:16,350 --> 00:53:18,018
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?
791
00:53:18,185 --> 00:53:19,395
Am I the expendable candidate?
792
00:53:19,562 --> 00:53:22,147
No, no, no. You don't
talk to me like that.
793
00:53:22,314 --> 00:53:24,525
You have a complaint, you come
here and you whisper it in my ear.
794
00:53:31,365 --> 00:53:34,076
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.
795
00:54:05,065 --> 00:54:07,568
Mr. DeVere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
796
00:54:08,193 --> 00:54:10,905
I'm awfully sorry. I seem to
have my dates muddled up.
797
00:54:11,071 --> 00:54:13,949
Oh, no, no, no. I cancelled
the gala because of you.
798
00:54:14,283 --> 00:54:16,076
Anybody willing
to donate that much...
799
00:54:16,243 --> 00:54:18,412
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!
800
00:54:20,039 --> 00:54:21,040
Thank you.
801
00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:25,419
Got to admit, I was really
intrigued to meet you.
802
00:54:25,586 --> 00:54:27,421
There aren't many
billionaires I don't know.
803
00:54:27,588 --> 00:54:28,589
I don't doubt it.
804
00:54:28,756 --> 00:54:31,759
And, obviously, I had my people
look into your affairs...
805
00:54:31,926 --> 00:54:33,510
and that's some pretty
old money you're from.
806
00:54:33,594 --> 00:54:34,595
How'd your folks make it?
807
00:54:35,262 --> 00:54:38,265
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.
808
00:54:38,432 --> 00:54:40,476
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.
809
00:54:40,643 --> 00:54:43,270
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.
810
00:54:43,354 --> 00:54:44,355
I'm sure you understand that.
811
00:54:44,939 --> 00:54:45,981
I most certainly do.
812
00:54:46,148 --> 00:54:47,650
Hope you're hungry.
I'm famished.
813
00:54:47,816 --> 00:54:48,901
Good.
814
00:54:48,984 --> 00:54:49,985
Grab a seat.
815
00:55:11,715 --> 00:55:12,800
I'll have the Big Mac, please.
816
00:55:12,967 --> 00:55:14,134
Great choice.
817
00:55:14,301 --> 00:55:17,721
But nothing beats two
cheeseburgers with secret sauce.
818
00:55:17,888 --> 00:55:19,682
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.
819
00:55:19,848 --> 00:55:20,849
A classic pairing.
820
00:55:21,266 --> 00:55:24,269
And may I suggest Twinkies and a
1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding?
821
00:55:25,104 --> 00:55:26,480
I like it.
822
00:55:27,064 --> 00:55:30,859
So, you want to
donate to my foundation.
823
00:55:31,026 --> 00:55:34,363
You are aware that I wound
things down in that area, right?
824
00:55:34,530 --> 00:55:37,449
Climate change is a threat, which
affects us all, Mr. Valentine.
825
00:55:37,616 --> 00:55:40,744
And you're one of the few powerful
men who seems to share my concerns.
826
00:55:40,911 --> 00:55:43,580
No, I shut things down, because
I wasn't getting anywhere.
827
00:55:43,747 --> 00:55:46,583
Every bit of research kept
pointing to the same thing.
828
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:48,127
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...
829
00:55:48,293 --> 00:55:51,964
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?
830
00:55:52,339 --> 00:55:53,966
You know your shit.
831
00:55:54,133 --> 00:55:57,720
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...
832
00:55:58,262 --> 00:55:59,471
"Shit."
833
00:56:00,514 --> 00:56:02,057
As Professor Arnold
always said...
834
00:56:02,641 --> 00:56:05,060
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...
835
00:56:05,227 --> 00:56:08,480
"with the horrifying knowledge of
its host's fragile mortality."
836
00:56:09,732 --> 00:56:12,276
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.
837
00:56:14,987 --> 00:56:17,364
You like spy movies,
Mr. DeVere?
838
00:56:21,035 --> 00:56:24,038
Nowadays, they're all a
little serious for my taste.
839
00:56:24,121 --> 00:56:25,122
But the old ones...
840
00:56:25,998 --> 00:56:27,249
Marvelous.
841
00:56:27,416 --> 00:56:29,668
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.
842
00:56:29,835 --> 00:56:33,338
The old Bond movies.
Oh, man!
843
00:56:33,505 --> 00:56:37,051
Oh, when I was a kid,
that was my dream job.
844
00:56:37,843 --> 00:56:39,428
Gentleman spy.
845
00:56:39,803 --> 00:56:43,140
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.
846
00:56:43,515 --> 00:56:47,644
As a child, I rather fancied a
future as a colorful megalomaniac.
847
00:56:49,521 --> 00:56:52,816
What a shame we both
had to grow up.
848
00:56:57,446 --> 00:56:58,655
Bon appétit.
849
00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,161
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.
850
00:57:04,328 --> 00:57:05,913
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...
851
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:07,581
and it's all good.
852
00:57:07,748 --> 00:57:11,210
And thank you for
such a happy meal.
853
00:57:16,632 --> 00:57:18,008
Well, want me to follow him?
854
00:57:18,175 --> 00:57:19,301
Nah.
855
00:57:19,593 --> 00:57:22,054
I put a nano tracker gel
in the wine.
856
00:57:22,221 --> 00:57:25,224
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.
857
00:57:25,390 --> 00:57:27,768
Finally find out
who he works for.
858
00:57:29,520 --> 00:57:31,480
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.
859
00:57:31,647 --> 00:57:34,149
All I got was this
on the way in.
860
00:57:38,278 --> 00:57:41,365
South Glade Mission Church is a
hate group based in Kentucky.
861
00:57:42,241 --> 00:57:43,826
FBI have been
monitoring them for years.
862
00:57:43,992 --> 00:57:45,786
But you think Valentine
is a supporter?
863
00:57:45,953 --> 00:57:49,248
No evidence yet of a direct
connection, but I'll keep locking.
864
00:57:50,124 --> 00:57:51,500
Oh, by the way...
865
00:57:51,667 --> 00:57:56,713
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
866
00:57:57,131 --> 00:57:59,842
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
867
00:58:01,927 --> 00:58:04,763
Just let me out, you psycho!
868
00:58:04,930 --> 00:58:07,766
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.
869
00:58:07,933 --> 00:58:10,185
As long as you agree
to my conditions.
870
00:58:10,602 --> 00:58:12,229
I don't agree...
871
00:58:12,396 --> 00:58:15,107
and I am never ever
going to agree!
872
00:58:15,274 --> 00:58:16,525
Tough shit.
873
00:58:16,942 --> 00:58:17,943
Bitch.
874
00:58:20,112 --> 00:58:21,864
I want to speak
to the British Council!
875
00:58:22,489 --> 00:58:24,700
The list of missing
celebrities and dignitaries
876
00:58:24,783 --> 00:58:26,910
has continued to grow
in recent weeks...
877
00:58:27,077 --> 00:58:30,956
and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.
878
00:58:31,123 --> 00:58:34,877
We are doing everything in our
power to find Princess Tilde.
879
00:58:35,043 --> 00:58:38,213
You know, governments and
security forces worldwide...
880
00:58:38,380 --> 00:58:42,092
are working together to find the
person behind these abductions.
881
00:58:42,259 --> 00:58:43,927
In other news,
people all over the world...
882
00:58:44,094 --> 00:58:48,473
continue to wait in line day and
night to get their free SIM cards.
883
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:51,101
Mrs. P, did you get one?
884
00:58:51,268 --> 00:58:53,854
Yeah, I've been
queuing up all day.
885
00:58:54,021 --> 00:58:58,275
This unprecedented giveaway by
the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...
886
00:58:58,442 --> 00:59:01,278
has already seen over a
billion cards distributed.
887
00:59:01,445 --> 00:59:02,654
At ease.
888
00:59:04,823 --> 00:59:07,242
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?
889
00:59:08,035 --> 00:59:09,244
Well, we're not.
890
00:59:10,871 --> 00:59:12,873
A party?
Tonight, in London.
891
00:59:14,625 --> 00:59:16,960
- Who's this?
- Your target.
892
00:59:17,127 --> 00:59:19,087
Your mission is to use
your NLP training...
893
00:59:19,254 --> 00:59:21,632
to win over the individual on the
photograph in your envelope.
894
00:59:21,798 --> 00:59:23,300
And when I say "win over"...
895
00:59:23,634 --> 00:59:25,260
I do mean in the biblical sense.
896
00:59:25,427 --> 00:59:26,595
Easy.
897
00:59:27,512 --> 00:59:29,556
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
898
00:59:29,723 --> 00:59:31,350
We'll see about that, yeah?
899
00:59:31,642 --> 00:59:33,435
We certainly will.
900
00:59:38,649 --> 00:59:39,650
Hi!
901
00:59:39,775 --> 00:59:43,070
Sorry, I just had to come
over and say, amazing eyes.
902
00:59:43,445 --> 00:59:44,655
Are you wearing color contacts?
903
00:59:44,821 --> 00:59:47,032
No!
You so are.
904
00:59:47,199 --> 00:59:49,576
Oh, my God, negging!
That's hilarious.
905
00:59:49,743 --> 00:59:51,620
I haven't heard anyone try
that since the noughties.
906
00:59:51,787 --> 00:59:52,871
Excuse me?
907
00:59:52,913 --> 00:59:54,081
"Negging."
908
00:59:54,122 --> 00:59:58,085
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.
909
00:59:58,252 --> 01:00:00,295
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.
910
01:00:00,879 --> 01:00:03,924
Absurdly basic neuro-linguistic:
programming technique.
911
01:00:04,091 --> 01:00:06,218
Is it just me, or does this
champagne taste a little bit funny?
912
01:00:06,385 --> 01:00:08,262
It's an acquired taste, mate.
I think it's just cheap.
913
01:00:08,428 --> 01:00:10,264
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.
914
01:00:10,430 --> 01:00:13,141
If you're into seduction
techniques, this guy is textbook.
915
01:00:13,308 --> 01:00:16,061
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.
916
01:00:16,228 --> 01:00:17,729
He got you talking
with a neutral question...
917
01:00:17,896 --> 01:00:19,606
got all of us involved
in the conversation...
918
01:00:19,773 --> 01:00:21,441
so that you craved
individual attention.
919
01:00:22,150 --> 01:00:23,485
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.
920
01:00:23,652 --> 01:00:25,404
Lady Sophie
Montague-Herring.
921
01:00:25,570 --> 01:00:26,863
Phone call for you at reception.
922
01:00:27,030 --> 01:00:28,740
Be right back. We'll see
you in a bit, yeah?
923
01:00:28,907 --> 01:00:30,284
See you in a bit.
924
01:00:30,450 --> 01:00:32,286
Budge up, Rox.
I'm feeling a bit rough.
925
01:00:32,452 --> 01:00:33,954
Are you all right?
No.
926
01:00:34,121 --> 01:00:35,163
Sorry to eavesdrop...
927
01:00:35,330 --> 01:00:38,875
but there's a much easier way to
guarantee getting someone home.
928
01:00:39,084 --> 01:00:40,627
Rohypnol.
929
01:00:42,796 --> 01:00:44,548
Or even something stronger.
930
01:01:02,107 --> 01:01:03,775
Who the fuck are you?
931
01:01:04,359 --> 01:01:05,777
Where am I?
932
01:01:08,196 --> 01:01:09,364
This knife...
933
01:01:09,531 --> 01:01:11,575
can save your life, hmm?
934
01:01:15,829 --> 01:01:16,830
Fuck!
935
01:01:17,247 --> 01:01:20,042
My employer's got two
questions for you, Eggsy.
936
01:01:20,208 --> 01:01:22,085
What the fuck is Kingsman?
937
01:01:22,252 --> 01:01:23,879
And who's Harry Hart?
938
01:01:24,046 --> 01:01:25,714
I don't know who
the fuck that is!
939
01:01:25,797 --> 01:01:26,798
Shit!
940
01:01:27,007 --> 01:01:30,802
Oh, Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!
941
01:01:31,345 --> 01:01:32,346
Fuck!
942
01:01:32,804 --> 01:01:35,349
Just cut the fucking ropes,
please!
943
01:01:35,515 --> 01:01:36,558
Hey, Eggsy!
944
01:01:36,725 --> 01:01:38,060
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
945
01:01:40,270 --> 01:01:41,646
Fuck you!
946
01:01:55,952 --> 01:01:57,245
Congratulations.
947
01:01:57,412 --> 01:01:58,622
Bloody well done.
948
01:02:00,916 --> 01:02:02,501
How did the others do?
949
01:02:02,667 --> 01:02:04,461
Roxy passed with flying colors.
950
01:02:05,003 --> 01:02:07,255
Charlie's up next.
Want to watch?
951
01:02:08,673 --> 01:02:10,133
Yeah, all right.
952
01:02:12,636 --> 01:02:14,679
Is Kingsman really
worth dying for?
953
01:02:14,846 --> 01:02:16,181
No, it fucking isn't!
954
01:02:16,348 --> 01:02:18,183
Shit, I'll tell you
what you want. Please!
955
01:02:18,350 --> 01:02:19,643
Chester King is Arthur.
956
01:02:19,810 --> 01:02:22,020
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.
957
01:02:22,187 --> 01:02:23,730
Get me out of here!
Thank you, Charlie.
958
01:02:23,897 --> 01:02:25,232
Much appreciated.
959
01:02:25,399 --> 01:02:27,776
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!
960
01:02:28,193 --> 01:02:30,487
Fuck!
961
01:02:37,494 --> 01:02:39,788
I had such high hopes for you.
962
01:02:39,996 --> 01:02:41,915
You're a bloody disgrace.
963
01:02:42,082 --> 01:02:43,083
Arthur, I'm sorry.
964
01:02:43,917 --> 01:02:45,252
At least untie me.
965
01:02:45,585 --> 01:02:46,920
Untie yourself.
966
01:02:48,588 --> 01:02:50,757
Arthur, please.
967
01:02:52,092 --> 01:02:54,636
I'm the fucking
son of the... Shit!
968
01:02:54,803 --> 01:02:57,305
Anyone? Hello?
969
01:02:57,472 --> 01:03:00,016
Galahad, Percival,
congratulations.
970
01:03:00,308 --> 01:03:03,103
Your candidates have reached the
final stage of the testing process.
971
01:03:03,270 --> 01:03:06,815
As tradition allows, you now have
24 hours to spend with them.
972
01:03:07,441 --> 01:03:10,610
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.
973
01:03:11,361 --> 01:03:12,362
From now on...
974
01:03:12,821 --> 01:03:14,281
there are no safety nets,
understood?
975
01:03:17,993 --> 01:03:18,994
Good. Dismissed.
976
01:03:22,998 --> 01:03:25,125
Charlie, time to go home.
977
01:03:25,292 --> 01:03:26,626
Fuck you.
978
01:03:27,043 --> 01:03:29,296
Fucking dad's gonna
hear about this!
979
01:03:31,465 --> 01:03:33,966
"To pee or not to pee?"
980
01:03:34,051 --> 01:03:35,052
That was the headline...
981
01:03:35,150 --> 01:03:37,820
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.
982
01:03:38,972 --> 01:03:40,640
"Germany 1, England 5."
983
01:03:40,807 --> 01:03:41,892
Missed that game.
984
01:03:42,058 --> 01:03:45,020
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.
985
01:03:50,525 --> 01:03:51,818
My first mission.
986
01:03:51,985 --> 01:03:53,487
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.
987
01:03:54,988 --> 01:03:56,323
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.
988
01:03:56,740 --> 01:03:59,493
The point is, Eggsy, nobody
thanked me for any of them.
989
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:03,705
Front page news on all these
occasions was celebrity nonsense.
990
01:04:03,997 --> 01:04:07,542
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.
991
01:04:08,001 --> 01:04:11,338
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only three times.
992
01:04:11,505 --> 01:04:13,840
When he's born, when he
marries, and when he dies.
993
01:04:14,007 --> 01:04:17,177
And we are, first and
foremost, gentlemen.
994
01:04:17,511 --> 01:04:18,845
That's me fucked then.
995
01:04:19,846 --> 01:04:21,723
It's like Charlie said.
I'm just a pleb.
996
01:04:21,890 --> 01:04:22,891
Nonsense.
997
01:04:23,058 --> 01:04:25,560
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.
998
01:04:26,520 --> 01:04:28,355
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.
999
01:04:29,105 --> 01:04:30,941
Yeah, but how?
1000
01:04:31,858 --> 01:04:33,109
All right, first lesson.
1001
01:04:33,276 --> 01:04:34,694
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.
1002
01:04:36,571 --> 01:04:37,697
Second lesson...
1003
01:04:38,698 --> 01:04:40,033
How to make a proper martini.
1004
01:04:41,034 --> 01:04:43,119
Yes, Harry.
1005
01:04:45,705 --> 01:04:48,750
Goddamn it!
This fucking hurts!
1006
01:04:49,251 --> 01:04:51,753
You're the one who asked for
a biometric security system.
1007
01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:53,046
What's wrong with
a simple switch?
1008
01:04:53,213 --> 01:04:54,214
A simple switch?
1009
01:04:54,381 --> 01:04:58,051
This is an extremely
dangerous machine.
1010
01:04:58,218 --> 01:05:02,764
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.
1011
01:05:02,973 --> 01:05:05,225
Bad shit could happen if this
falls into the wrong hands.
1012
01:05:07,352 --> 01:05:08,395
Whoa!
1013
01:05:08,436 --> 01:05:10,105
We done here? Shit!
1014
01:05:10,272 --> 01:05:12,899
No. Now this one.
1015
01:05:13,066 --> 01:05:14,109
For the test at the church.
1016
01:05:14,276 --> 01:05:16,111
This one just has a short range.
1017
01:05:16,278 --> 01:05:17,821
A simple switch will do.
1018
01:05:23,785 --> 01:05:25,287
So are you gonna teach
me how to talk proper,
1019
01:05:25,370 --> 01:05:26,413
like in My Fair Lady?
1020
01:05:26,830 --> 01:05:28,290
Don't be absurd.
1021
01:05:28,582 --> 01:05:31,126
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.
1022
01:05:31,293 --> 01:05:33,587
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.
1023
01:05:33,753 --> 01:05:35,297
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...
1024
01:05:35,463 --> 01:05:37,841
"in being superior
to your fellow man.
1025
01:05:38,258 --> 01:05:41,761
"True nobility is being
superior to your former self."
1026
01:05:45,473 --> 01:05:48,810
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.
1027
01:05:48,977 --> 01:05:52,272
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.
1028
01:05:52,439 --> 01:05:54,816
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.
1029
01:05:54,983 --> 01:05:57,777
So let's get you measured, and then,
whether you get the job or not...
1030
01:05:57,944 --> 01:06:02,324
you'll have a lasting and useful
memento of your time at Kingsman.
1031
01:06:02,490 --> 01:06:06,119
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.
1032
01:06:06,286 --> 01:06:08,455
Fitting Room Two is available.
1033
01:06:08,622 --> 01:06:12,459
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.
1034
01:06:13,710 --> 01:06:16,504
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting
Room Three while we wait.
1035
01:06:26,890 --> 01:06:28,141
So we going up or down?
1036
01:06:28,308 --> 01:06:29,476
Neither.
1037
01:06:30,727 --> 01:06:31,728
Is this it?
1038
01:06:31,895 --> 01:06:34,981
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.
1039
01:06:41,988 --> 01:06:42,989
Oh, yes.
1040
01:06:43,490 --> 01:06:45,659
Very, very nice.
1041
01:06:48,703 --> 01:06:51,206
You're going to need a pair of
shoes to go with your suit.
1042
01:06:51,373 --> 01:06:55,502
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.
1043
01:06:55,669 --> 01:06:58,880
This additional decorative
piece is called broguing.
1044
01:06:59,047 --> 01:07:00,215
"Oxfords not brogues."
1045
01:07:00,382 --> 01:07:02,008
Words to live by, Eggsy.
1046
01:07:02,217 --> 01:07:04,844
Words to live by.
Try a pair.
1047
01:07:05,595 --> 01:07:07,347
Your weapon scores
are excellent, by the way.
1048
01:07:08,515 --> 01:07:11,768
These you are familiar with, and
this is our standard issue pistol.
1049
01:07:11,935 --> 01:07:13,561
It's quite unique,
as you'll see.
1050
01:07:13,728 --> 01:07:15,063
It also fires
a shotgun cartridge
1051
01:07:15,146 --> 01:07:16,856
for use in messy
close-range situations.
1052
01:07:17,232 --> 01:07:18,692
How do they feel?
Yeah, good.
1053
01:07:18,858 --> 01:07:20,193
Now do your
very best impersonation...
1054
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,028
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.
1055
01:07:30,912 --> 01:07:32,038
That is sick.
1056
01:07:33,206 --> 01:07:35,166
In the old days, they had a
phone in the heel as well.
1057
01:07:35,333 --> 01:07:36,376
How do I get it back in?
1058
01:07:36,543 --> 01:07:37,544
Well, it's coated in one of the
1059
01:07:37,627 --> 01:07:39,879
fastest acting neurotoxins
known to man...
1060
01:07:40,588 --> 01:07:42,090
so very carefully.
1061
01:07:44,008 --> 01:07:47,721
Now, I've had a
lot of fun with this.
1062
01:07:47,887 --> 01:07:50,890
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.
1063
01:07:51,057 --> 01:07:53,560
A poison,
harmless when ingested...
1064
01:07:53,727 --> 01:07:55,603
but at a time
convenient to you...
1065
01:07:55,770 --> 01:07:59,774
can be remotely activated.
Primed.
1066
01:08:01,067 --> 01:08:02,068
Lethal.
1067
01:08:03,445 --> 01:08:05,572
What about these?
What do these do?
1068
01:08:05,947 --> 01:08:07,907
Electrocute you?
Don't be ridiculous.
1069
01:08:08,074 --> 01:08:09,909
It's a hand grenade.
Shut up!
1070
01:08:10,076 --> 01:08:12,370
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.
1071
01:08:12,537 --> 01:08:14,622
A gentleman traditionally wears
the signet on his left hand.
1072
01:08:14,789 --> 01:08:17,751
But a Kingsman wears it on whichever
hand happens to be dominant.
1073
01:08:17,917 --> 01:08:19,252
Touch the contact
behind the ring...
1074
01:08:19,419 --> 01:08:20,545
it delivers 50,000 volts.
1075
01:08:22,464 --> 01:08:24,924
And what about them?
What makes them so special?
1076
01:08:25,091 --> 01:08:26,092
Nothing.
1077
01:08:26,259 --> 01:08:28,970
That technology has caught
up with the spy world.
1078
01:08:29,971 --> 01:08:31,765
Put it back, Eggsy.
1079
01:08:34,142 --> 01:08:35,602
Ah. Perfect timing.
1080
01:08:35,769 --> 01:08:37,645
The gentleman's just finished.
1081
01:08:42,776 --> 01:08:44,110
Mr. DeVere!
1082
01:08:45,612 --> 01:08:47,280
What a coincidence.
1083
01:08:47,906 --> 01:08:50,784
You are totally
the reason I'm here.
1084
01:08:50,992 --> 01:08:52,118
When you left my house...
1085
01:08:52,285 --> 01:08:56,080
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.
1086
01:08:56,247 --> 01:08:57,749
And since I'm going
to Royal Ascot...
1087
01:08:57,916 --> 01:08:59,959
and, apparently, you need one
of these penguin suits...
1088
01:09:00,502 --> 01:09:01,669
here I am.
1089
01:09:02,253 --> 01:09:03,254
What are you doing here?
1090
01:09:03,505 --> 01:09:04,839
What's up, man?
1091
01:09:05,006 --> 01:09:06,132
Richmond Valentine.
1092
01:09:06,466 --> 01:09:09,469
This is my new valet. I was just
introducing him to my tailor.
1093
01:09:09,636 --> 01:09:12,472
Another coincidence.
So am I.
1094
01:09:12,847 --> 01:09:14,933
Have you had any chance to
think further on my proposal?
1095
01:09:15,099 --> 01:09:16,100
Most definitely.
1096
01:09:16,309 --> 01:09:19,312
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.
1097
01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:20,939
I guarantee it.
1098
01:09:21,648 --> 01:09:22,982
A word of advice.
1099
01:09:23,316 --> 01:09:25,527
Ascot requires top hat.
1100
01:09:26,528 --> 01:09:29,656
I might suggest
Lock and Co. Hatters.
1101
01:09:30,490 --> 01:09:31,533
Saint James's.
1102
01:09:31,699 --> 01:09:32,951
"Lox" as in smoked fish?
1103
01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:35,829
As in, "locked up."
1104
01:09:38,873 --> 01:09:41,793
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.
1105
01:09:42,377 --> 01:09:44,462
You all talk so funny.
1106
01:09:51,469 --> 01:09:54,556
Gentlemen, would you
look after him, please?
1107
01:10:07,068 --> 01:10:08,361
Now this...
1108
01:10:08,528 --> 01:10:10,405
is a dope-ass top hat.
1109
01:10:12,073 --> 01:10:15,368
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.
1110
01:10:16,870 --> 01:10:18,246
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.
1111
01:10:18,329 --> 01:10:21,040
Come on! Don't make me
late for the queen.
1112
01:10:21,833 --> 01:10:24,502
Come on, Gazelle!
We're gonna be late.
1113
01:10:24,669 --> 01:10:26,212
How far is Ascot?
1114
01:10:26,671 --> 01:10:27,714
How far?
1115
01:10:31,926 --> 01:10:33,219
Merlin said you
wanted to see me, sir?
1116
01:10:33,720 --> 01:10:35,221
Sit down.
1117
01:10:40,435 --> 01:10:41,686
Pretty dog.
1118
01:10:42,103 --> 01:10:43,396
What's his name?
1119
01:10:43,563 --> 01:10:44,564
J.B.
1120
01:10:44,731 --> 01:10:46,900
- As in "James Bond"?
- No.
1121
01:10:47,191 --> 01:10:48,693
"Jason Bourne"?
1122
01:10:48,860 --> 01:10:50,862
No. "Jack Bauer."
1123
01:10:52,906 --> 01:10:53,907
Bravo.
1124
01:10:54,574 --> 01:10:55,700
It pains me to admit it...
1125
01:10:55,867 --> 01:10:58,745
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...
1126
01:10:58,912 --> 01:11:00,371
as any of them.
1127
01:11:07,420 --> 01:11:09,088
Take it.
1128
01:11:15,929 --> 01:11:17,138
Shoot the dog.
1129
01:11:23,937 --> 01:11:25,229
This weapon is live.
1130
01:11:28,274 --> 01:11:29,317
Shoot the dog.
1131
01:12:08,106 --> 01:12:09,148
Give me the gun.
1132
01:12:20,493 --> 01:12:22,203
At least the girl's got balls.
1133
01:12:25,832 --> 01:12:26,833
Get out.
1134
01:12:27,500 --> 01:12:29,502
I knew you couldn't make it.
1135
01:12:32,797 --> 01:12:34,132
Go home.
1136
01:12:35,633 --> 01:12:38,469
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.
1137
01:13:02,243 --> 01:13:05,246
Welcome to Kingsman...
1138
01:13:06,205 --> 01:13:07,331
Lancelot.
1139
01:13:30,688 --> 01:13:31,689
Mum!
1140
01:13:32,106 --> 01:13:33,232
Eggsy!
1141
01:13:33,441 --> 01:13:34,734
Oh, God.
Where have you been?
1142
01:13:34,901 --> 01:13:36,903
I've been so worried about you.
1143
01:13:38,863 --> 01:13:42,116
Oh, my days.
Look how big you've grown!
1144
01:13:47,914 --> 01:13:49,957
Where is he?
I'm fine.
1145
01:13:50,124 --> 01:13:51,793
Eggsy, please,
just don't get involved.
1146
01:13:51,959 --> 01:13:53,628
No, I should never have
left you on your own.
1147
01:13:53,795 --> 01:13:56,214
This stops right now.
1148
01:13:56,380 --> 01:13:57,465
I'll be right back.
1149
01:13:57,632 --> 01:13:59,217
Eggsy.
1150
01:14:01,594 --> 01:14:02,929
Oi, Dean!
1151
01:14:03,930 --> 01:14:05,765
Oh, Mugsy, so you're back.
1152
01:14:05,932 --> 01:14:07,809
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?
1153
01:14:07,975 --> 01:14:09,393
Yeah.
1154
01:14:09,560 --> 01:14:11,604
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?
1155
01:14:12,605 --> 01:14:14,315
You want to have a word with
me, you get out of that cab...
1156
01:14:14,482 --> 01:14:16,150
I'll knock you straight back
down on your fucking arse.
1157
01:14:18,402 --> 01:14:20,404
Tell your muppets to go
inside, then I'll get out.
1158
01:14:22,657 --> 01:14:24,575
Go on, lads.
It'll be two hits.
1159
01:14:24,742 --> 01:14:26,786
Me hitting him,
him hitting the floor.
1160
01:14:27,286 --> 01:14:29,622
Come on, then, you prick.
1161
01:14:29,789 --> 01:14:31,666
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?
1162
01:14:31,749 --> 01:14:32,750
What are you doing?
1163
01:14:32,792 --> 01:14:34,752
No, no, no!
Get out of the fucking car!
1164
01:14:34,794 --> 01:14:36,671
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?
1165
01:14:36,838 --> 01:14:38,131
Go on, you got no bollocks!
1166
01:14:38,923 --> 01:14:40,925
Come on, bruv,
he hit my fucking mum!
1167
01:14:41,092 --> 01:14:42,385
Come back when you've
grown a pair!
1168
01:14:42,468 --> 01:14:43,469
Mugsy!
1169
01:15:06,409 --> 01:15:07,410
You throw away...
1170
01:15:07,577 --> 01:15:11,539
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.
1171
01:15:12,540 --> 01:15:14,876
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.
1172
01:15:15,126 --> 01:15:17,211
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.
1173
01:15:17,628 --> 01:15:18,629
Yes, I did.
1174
01:15:21,632 --> 01:15:25,511
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of
that every time I take a shit!
1175
01:15:27,096 --> 01:15:29,599
You shot your dog
and had it stuffed?
1176
01:15:29,765 --> 01:15:30,975
You fucking freak.
1177
01:15:31,142 --> 01:15:32,518
No, I shot my dog...
1178
01:15:32,685 --> 01:15:34,437
and then I brought him home and
continued to care for him...
1179
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:36,939
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.
1180
01:15:37,690 --> 01:15:40,318
What?
It was a blank, Eggsy.
1181
01:15:41,485 --> 01:15:43,154
It was a fucking blank.
1182
01:15:43,946 --> 01:15:45,281
Remember Amelia?
1183
01:15:45,364 --> 01:15:46,365
Yeah.
1184
01:15:46,407 --> 01:15:47,533
She didn't drown.
1185
01:15:47,700 --> 01:15:50,453
She works in our tech department
in Berlin. She's fine.
1186
01:15:50,620 --> 01:15:51,829
Limits must be tested...
1187
01:15:51,996 --> 01:15:54,624
a Kingsman only condones the
risking of a life to save another.
1188
01:15:54,790 --> 01:15:57,752
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.
1189
01:15:57,919 --> 01:15:59,587
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?
1190
01:16:01,631 --> 01:16:04,717
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1191
01:16:10,514 --> 01:16:12,183
Harry, listen to this.
1192
01:16:12,350 --> 01:16:14,101
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.
1193
01:16:14,518 --> 01:16:16,771
Do you know what
I love about pen and paper?
1194
01:16:17,271 --> 01:16:19,774
Nobody can hack into this shit.
1195
01:16:20,191 --> 01:16:23,527
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.
1196
01:16:23,694 --> 01:16:26,155
We have total coverall.
1197
01:16:26,322 --> 01:16:29,116
Like when all your numbers
in bingo are crossed out.
1198
01:16:29,242 --> 01:16:30,243
Bingo?
1199
01:16:30,326 --> 01:16:33,704
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?
1200
01:16:34,580 --> 01:16:36,374
Do I look like I play bingo?
1201
01:16:38,584 --> 01:16:39,627
Point is...
1202
01:16:40,294 --> 01:16:44,757
if our tests go well at the church
tomorrow, we are good to go.
1203
01:16:44,924 --> 01:16:47,426
South Glade Mission Church.
1204
01:16:48,344 --> 01:16:50,513
- Merlin, get the plane ready.
- Will do.
1205
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:52,306
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever...
1206
01:16:52,473 --> 01:16:53,474
You should be.
1207
01:16:53,641 --> 01:16:56,060
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.
1208
01:17:02,441 --> 01:17:04,151
And I say to you...
1209
01:17:04,318 --> 01:17:05,569
bear witness!
1210
01:17:05,736 --> 01:17:08,322
Watch the news.
Watch the news.
1211
01:17:08,489 --> 01:17:09,782
AIDS!
1212
01:17:10,074 --> 01:17:11,075
Floods!
1213
01:17:11,242 --> 01:17:13,369
The blood of
the innocent, spilled!
1214
01:17:13,536 --> 01:17:18,708
And yet, there are those who
doubt this is the wrath of God.
1215
01:17:20,543 --> 01:17:27,216
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!
1216
01:17:27,383 --> 01:17:29,927
And yet, some still doubt...
1217
01:17:30,094 --> 01:17:33,973
this is the work
of the antichrist!
1218
01:17:34,140 --> 01:17:39,020
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...
1219
01:17:39,186 --> 01:17:41,939
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...
1220
01:17:42,273 --> 01:17:43,733
Charming sermon.
1221
01:17:43,899 --> 01:17:45,568
Can you see Valentine anywhere?
1222
01:17:45,735 --> 01:17:47,153
So, my friends...
1223
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:50,364
although he is a just God,
he is justly a vengeful one...
1224
01:17:50,531 --> 01:17:53,492
and there can be
no turning back...
1225
01:17:53,659 --> 01:17:55,286
from the almighty wrath...
1226
01:17:55,453 --> 01:17:56,912
Are you sure we're out of range?
1227
01:17:57,163 --> 01:17:58,706
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?
1228
01:17:58,873 --> 01:18:00,124
What if the calculations
are wrong?
1229
01:18:00,291 --> 01:18:01,876
You just have to trust me.
1230
01:18:03,085 --> 01:18:07,548
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and
the devil is burning them...
1231
01:18:07,715 --> 01:18:09,008
for all eternity.
1232
01:18:09,175 --> 01:18:10,343
Would you excuse me?
1233
01:18:11,177 --> 01:18:12,178
Where are you going?
1234
01:18:13,012 --> 01:18:14,805
Hey! What's your problem?
1235
01:18:16,390 --> 01:18:17,808
I'm a Catholic whore...
1236
01:18:17,975 --> 01:18:21,562
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...
1237
01:18:21,729 --> 01:18:24,273
who works in a military
abortion clinic.
1238
01:18:24,857 --> 01:18:26,192
So, hail Satan...
1239
01:18:26,359 --> 01:18:28,361
and have a lovely
afternoon, madam.
1240
01:18:31,739 --> 01:18:33,157
Oh, shit.
He's leaving.
1241
01:18:33,324 --> 01:18:34,909
I'm starting the test now.
1242
01:18:35,368 --> 01:18:37,453
Let's hope enough of these
freaks have our SIM cards.
1243
01:18:40,247 --> 01:18:42,041
I kindly ask you to sit down,
1244
01:18:42,124 --> 01:18:43,125
my friend!
1245
01:18:43,292 --> 01:18:44,335
Just leave this church!
1246
01:18:44,502 --> 01:18:46,879
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!
1247
01:18:49,423 --> 01:18:52,635
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.
1248
01:18:52,802 --> 01:18:56,305
You will drown in the
blood of the Lord!
1249
01:18:56,472 --> 01:18:57,932
He will not save you!
1250
01:19:04,146 --> 01:19:05,147
Holy fuck!
1251
01:19:06,774 --> 01:19:07,817
Oh, shit, I can't watch this.
1252
01:19:08,025 --> 01:19:09,068
Get over here.
1253
01:19:51,068 --> 01:19:53,070
Jeez! Fuck.
1254
01:19:53,946 --> 01:19:56,073
Galahad, can you hear me?
1255
01:19:56,323 --> 01:19:57,324
Harry!
1256
01:19:57,867 --> 01:20:00,244
Harry, what the heck
is going on?
1257
01:20:01,412 --> 01:20:02,872
Could you turn
the volume down, please?
1258
01:20:04,206 --> 01:20:06,167
I didn't expect it
to be that effective.
1259
01:20:06,333 --> 01:20:07,460
What kind of response
are we talking?
1260
01:20:08,335 --> 01:20:09,336
100 percent.
1261
01:20:10,463 --> 01:20:11,881
So, everyone's been affected,
1262
01:20:11,964 --> 01:20:13,466
whether they have
a SIM card or not.
1263
01:20:13,883 --> 01:20:16,051
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.
1264
01:20:16,677 --> 01:20:18,512
Not yet.
1265
01:21:13,484 --> 01:21:14,777
Oh, you need to see this.
1266
01:23:11,852 --> 01:23:13,687
What did you do to me?
1267
01:23:14,021 --> 01:23:15,648
I had no control.
1268
01:23:16,982 --> 01:23:18,442
I killed all those people.
1269
01:23:20,402 --> 01:23:21,612
I wanted to.
1270
01:23:21,779 --> 01:23:22,863
Clever, isn't it?
1271
01:23:23,030 --> 01:23:25,741
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...
1272
01:23:25,908 --> 01:23:27,451
that triggers the centers
of aggression...
1273
01:23:27,618 --> 01:23:29,328
and switches off inhibitors.
1274
01:23:29,870 --> 01:23:31,705
Transmitted through your
nasty, free SIM cards,
1275
01:23:31,789 --> 01:23:32,790
I assume.
1276
01:23:36,043 --> 01:23:37,920
Do you know what this is like?
1277
01:23:38,128 --> 01:23:41,382
It's like those old
movies we both love.
1278
01:23:41,548 --> 01:23:44,635
Now, I'm going to
tell you my whole plan...
1279
01:23:44,802 --> 01:23:45,844
and then I'm going to come up
1280
01:23:45,886 --> 01:23:48,055
with some absurd and
convoluted way to kill you...
1281
01:23:48,222 --> 01:23:50,849
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.
1282
01:23:51,934 --> 01:23:53,394
Sounds good to me.
1283
01:23:54,144 --> 01:23:56,271
Well, this ain't
that kind of movie.
1284
01:23:59,900 --> 01:24:02,403
No!
1285
01:24:10,536 --> 01:24:12,246
Is he dead?
1286
01:24:12,413 --> 01:24:14,873
That tends to happen when you
shoot someone in the head.
1287
01:24:15,082 --> 01:24:16,208
It feels good, right?
1288
01:24:16,667 --> 01:24:18,752
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.
1289
01:24:18,919 --> 01:24:21,213
What? You just killed how
many people in that church?
1290
01:24:21,380 --> 01:24:22,381
This is one guy.
1291
01:24:22,506 --> 01:24:24,508
No, no, they killed each other.
1292
01:24:27,386 --> 01:24:29,304
Okay, send out
the countdown clock.
1293
01:24:29,471 --> 01:24:32,141
This party starts tomorrow.
1294
01:25:06,800 --> 01:25:08,177
Arthur?
1295
01:25:10,304 --> 01:25:11,805
Are you there?
1296
01:25:12,097 --> 01:25:14,266
Sadly, I am.
1297
01:25:14,641 --> 01:25:18,103
Assemble the Kingsmen.
1298
01:25:21,857 --> 01:25:23,567
Can't you see that
everything I've done
1299
01:25:23,609 --> 01:25:25,944
has been about
trying to repay him?
1300
01:25:46,465 --> 01:25:48,842
I see a young man
with potential...
1301
01:25:49,635 --> 01:25:52,304
who wants to do something
good with his life.
1302
01:26:08,987 --> 01:26:11,323
Arthur, Harry's dead.
1303
01:26:11,990 --> 01:26:14,409
Galahad is dead.
1304
01:26:14,576 --> 01:26:16,995
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.
1305
01:26:17,663 --> 01:26:20,207
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.
1306
01:26:20,374 --> 01:26:23,001
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?
1307
01:26:23,168 --> 01:26:25,546
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.
1308
01:26:25,712 --> 01:26:27,756
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then...
1309
01:26:27,923 --> 01:26:30,217
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahad's recordings...
1310
01:26:30,384 --> 01:26:33,011
we have Valentine's confession.
1311
01:26:33,178 --> 01:26:36,557
The intelligence has been passed
on to the relevant authorities.
1312
01:26:36,723 --> 01:26:38,058
Our work is complete...
1313
01:26:38,225 --> 01:26:40,018
and a most distinguished legacy
1314
01:26:40,060 --> 01:26:42,688
for our fallen friend,
it is, too.
1315
01:26:43,522 --> 01:26:44,690
And that's it?
1316
01:26:45,858 --> 01:26:47,025
Come sit down, boy.
1317
01:26:50,404 --> 01:26:55,409
This is an 1815
Napoleonic brandy.
1318
01:26:56,451 --> 01:26:59,705
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.
1319
01:27:00,372 --> 01:27:03,375
Galahad was very fond of you.
1320
01:27:05,544 --> 01:27:07,963
And on this occasion...
1321
01:27:08,130 --> 01:27:11,466
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.
1322
01:27:13,886 --> 01:27:15,053
Are these all Kingsmen?
1323
01:27:15,220 --> 01:27:17,556
Yes, they're founder members.
1324
01:27:18,932 --> 01:27:20,976
I want you to join me
in a toast.
1325
01:27:23,228 --> 01:27:25,230
To Galahad.
1326
01:27:26,231 --> 01:27:27,733
To Galahad.
1327
01:27:32,279 --> 01:27:34,907
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.
1328
01:27:35,407 --> 01:27:36,491
Why now?
1329
01:27:36,658 --> 01:27:37,910
You're very good, Eggsy.
1330
01:27:38,076 --> 01:27:41,663
Perhaps I will make you my
proposal for Galahad's position.
1331
01:27:42,581 --> 01:27:45,292
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...
1332
01:27:45,459 --> 01:27:47,586
on certain political matters.
1333
01:27:50,422 --> 01:27:51,548
Can you guess...
1334
01:27:53,091 --> 01:27:54,676
what this is?
1335
01:27:54,843 --> 01:27:56,511
I don't have to.
Harry showed me.
1336
01:27:56,678 --> 01:27:58,180
You click it. I die.
1337
01:27:58,347 --> 01:28:00,140
I thought that brandy
tasted a bit shit.
1338
01:28:00,599 --> 01:28:02,768
Bravo.
1339
01:28:03,435 --> 01:28:06,605
Valentine won you over, somehow.
1340
01:28:06,772 --> 01:28:09,608
Once he explained, I understood.
1341
01:28:09,775 --> 01:28:11,026
When you get a virus...
1342
01:28:11,318 --> 01:28:12,527
you get a fever.
1343
01:28:12,694 --> 01:28:16,698
That's the human body raising its
core temperature to kill the virus.
1344
01:28:16,865 --> 01:28:19,117
Planet Earth works the same way.
1345
01:28:19,284 --> 01:28:21,203
Global warming is the fever.
1346
01:28:21,370 --> 01:28:24,164
Mankind is the virus.
1347
01:28:24,331 --> 01:28:26,708
We're making our planet sick.
1348
01:28:26,875 --> 01:28:29,461
A cull is our only hope.
1349
01:28:29,628 --> 01:28:31,880
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...
1350
01:28:32,047 --> 01:28:34,633
there is only one of
two ways this can go.
1351
01:28:34,800 --> 01:28:39,054
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.
1352
01:28:39,304 --> 01:28:40,305
Either way...
1353
01:28:40,389 --> 01:28:42,849
The result is the same.
1354
01:28:43,016 --> 01:28:44,643
The virus dies.
1355
01:28:45,727 --> 01:28:49,147
So Valentine's gonna take care of
the population problem himself.
1356
01:28:49,314 --> 01:28:51,817
Well, if we don't do
something, nature will.
1357
01:28:51,984 --> 01:28:56,321
Sometimes a culling is the only way to
ensure that this species survives...
1358
01:28:57,030 --> 01:28:59,157
and history
will see Valentine...
1359
01:28:59,324 --> 01:29:01,576
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.
1360
01:29:02,160 --> 01:29:05,497
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?
1361
01:29:05,664 --> 01:29:06,873
All his rich mates,
they get to live...
1362
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:09,543
and anyone he thinks is worth
saving, he's keeping them safe...
1363
01:29:09,710 --> 01:29:11,670
whether they agree
with him or not.
1364
01:29:11,837 --> 01:29:14,006
And you, Eggsy.
1365
01:29:14,548 --> 01:29:16,508
In Harry's honor...
1366
01:29:16,675 --> 01:29:21,346
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.
1367
01:29:23,432 --> 01:29:25,726
It's time to make your decision.
1368
01:29:32,607 --> 01:29:34,568
I'd rather be with Harry.
1369
01:29:35,110 --> 01:29:36,111
Thanks.
1370
01:29:36,862 --> 01:29:38,238
So be it.
1371
01:29:54,546 --> 01:29:57,799
The problem with us
common types...
1372
01:29:57,966 --> 01:29:59,551
is that we're
light-fingered.
1373
01:30:00,761 --> 01:30:02,471
Kingsman's taught me a lot...
1374
01:30:02,637 --> 01:30:03,889
but sleight of hand...
1375
01:30:04,556 --> 01:30:06,308
Yes, they're founder members.
1376
01:30:08,935 --> 01:30:10,228
I had that down already.
1377
01:30:12,564 --> 01:30:16,151
You dirty little fucking...
1378
01:30:16,318 --> 01:30:17,486
prick.
1379
01:30:52,020 --> 01:30:53,772
It's okay, Lancelot.
Put it down.
1380
01:30:54,940 --> 01:30:56,483
It's verified.
1381
01:30:58,860 --> 01:31:01,446
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.
1382
01:31:01,613 --> 01:31:03,365
We don't have a lot of time.
What are you going to do?
1383
01:31:03,532 --> 01:31:05,659
The question is,
what are we going to do?
1384
01:31:05,826 --> 01:31:08,537
God knows who's in Valentine's
pocket and who's not.
1385
01:31:09,204 --> 01:31:10,705
We have no choice.
1386
01:31:11,790 --> 01:31:13,875
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.
1387
01:31:17,295 --> 01:31:18,630
Follow me.
1388
01:31:37,524 --> 01:31:38,817
What the fuck is this?
1389
01:31:38,984 --> 01:31:40,819
I have no idea.
1390
01:31:41,820 --> 01:31:42,988
What you're playing with...
1391
01:31:43,155 --> 01:31:45,866
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.
1392
01:31:46,032 --> 01:31:48,326
It was developed as part of
Reagan's Star Wars project.
1393
01:31:48,493 --> 01:31:51,413
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.
1394
01:31:51,663 --> 01:31:54,040
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.
1395
01:31:54,416 --> 01:31:56,877
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.
1396
01:31:57,043 --> 01:31:58,712
It'll take him a couple
of hours to reroute it...
1397
01:31:59,379 --> 01:32:03,758
which buys us enough time for you to
get me into Valentine's mainframe...
1398
01:32:03,925 --> 01:32:05,719
so I can shut it down.
1399
01:32:05,886 --> 01:32:08,180
Lancelot, you're going to
be using it.
1400
01:32:08,346 --> 01:32:09,723
Get into your halo suit.
1401
01:32:22,235 --> 01:32:24,112
Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to land.
1402
01:32:30,118 --> 01:32:31,870
Permission granted.
1403
01:32:35,457 --> 01:32:37,959
Please.
Thank you.
1404
01:32:38,126 --> 01:32:40,212
How many more are we expecting?
1405
01:32:40,378 --> 01:32:41,713
Not many.
Most have their own bunkers.
1406
01:32:41,880 --> 01:32:45,217
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.
1407
01:32:45,467 --> 01:32:47,469
Welcome, Prime Minister.
1408
01:32:48,762 --> 01:32:51,723
It seems the implant can
emit some kind of counter signal...
1409
01:32:51,890 --> 01:32:55,560
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.
1410
01:32:55,727 --> 01:32:57,771
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.
1411
01:32:57,938 --> 01:33:00,482
Quite. But what he probably
didn't tell anyone...
1412
01:33:00,649 --> 01:33:04,903
is it can also super heat their
soft tissue at his command.
1413
01:33:05,070 --> 01:33:09,241
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...
1414
01:33:09,407 --> 01:33:12,244
but he had to be sure they didn't
blab to the wrong people beforehand.
1415
01:33:12,410 --> 01:33:14,120
How does this help us right now?
1416
01:33:15,080 --> 01:33:16,081
It doesn't.
1417
01:33:16,456 --> 01:33:17,832
Roxy, here we go!
1418
01:33:30,762 --> 01:33:34,349
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.
1419
01:33:34,516 --> 01:33:36,351
When you reach the edge
of the atmosphere...
1420
01:33:36,518 --> 01:33:38,645
they'll explode.
1421
01:33:38,812 --> 01:33:40,814
You'll need to deploy your
missile just before that, okay?
1422
01:33:40,981 --> 01:33:42,315
Edge of the atmosphere.
1423
01:33:42,482 --> 01:33:45,777
And once you've deployed, you'll
need to release for descent, fast.
1424
01:33:46,778 --> 01:33:48,029
Good luck.
1425
01:33:50,365 --> 01:33:52,367
You can do this, okay?
Yeah.
1426
01:33:52,534 --> 01:33:55,328
Eggsy, come on.
Time is not our friend.
1427
01:34:17,809 --> 01:34:19,811
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.
1428
01:34:19,978 --> 01:34:21,187
You're gonna need to blend in.
1429
01:34:21,354 --> 01:34:22,480
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
1430
01:34:22,647 --> 01:34:25,650
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.
1431
01:34:25,817 --> 01:34:27,235
Give his real name,
Chester King.
1432
01:34:27,319 --> 01:34:28,320
What about you?
1433
01:34:28,486 --> 01:34:29,904
I'm your pilot.
I'm gonna stay here.
1434
01:34:30,989 --> 01:34:32,073
Is that gonna fit me?
1435
01:34:32,240 --> 01:34:34,743
A bespoke suit always fits.
1436
01:34:34,909 --> 01:34:36,703
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.
1437
01:34:37,662 --> 01:34:38,663
Get dressed.
1438
01:34:40,123 --> 01:34:41,166
What the fuck's wrong with them?
1439
01:34:41,499 --> 01:34:44,252
I don't know. Could have something
to do with the mass genocide.
1440
01:34:44,419 --> 01:34:46,338
Give me the mic.
1441
01:34:48,173 --> 01:34:49,716
Hey-oh!
1442
01:34:49,883 --> 01:34:52,802
Everybody, listen up!
Hello, hello!
1443
01:34:52,969 --> 01:34:55,180
What the fuck is wrong
with you people?
1444
01:34:55,347 --> 01:34:58,183
I just wanna remind
you that today...
1445
01:34:58,350 --> 01:35:00,935
is a day of celebration.
1446
01:35:01,770 --> 01:35:05,273
We must put aside
all thoughts of death...
1447
01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:07,317
and focus on birth.
1448
01:35:08,401 --> 01:35:10,820
The birth of a new age.
1449
01:35:12,030 --> 01:35:16,993
We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.
1450
01:35:17,160 --> 01:35:19,120
We should honor
their sacrifice...
1451
01:35:19,287 --> 01:35:21,289
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.
1452
01:35:21,456 --> 01:35:23,041
...and their roles...
1453
01:35:23,124 --> 01:35:24,626
...in saving the human race.
1454
01:35:27,045 --> 01:35:30,715
We must put aside
doubt and guilt.
1455
01:35:32,133 --> 01:35:35,678
You are the chosen people.
1456
01:35:37,305 --> 01:35:40,767
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...
1457
01:35:40,934 --> 01:35:42,727
- is Noah the bad guy?
- No!
1458
01:35:42,894 --> 01:35:44,896
Is God the bad guy?
1459
01:35:45,021 --> 01:35:46,022
No!
1460
01:35:46,064 --> 01:35:48,400
How about the animals
marching two by two?
1461
01:35:48,483 --> 01:35:50,235
No!
Of course not!
1462
01:35:50,735 --> 01:35:52,695
Yeah, that's it!
1463
01:35:52,862 --> 01:35:56,658
Let's turn those frowns
upside down.
1464
01:35:56,825 --> 01:35:58,660
Eat, drink...
1465
01:35:58,827 --> 01:36:00,495
and party!
1466
01:36:03,540 --> 01:36:06,084
And I will see you all
in the new age.
1467
01:36:31,317 --> 01:36:33,445
Rox, it's me.
1468
01:36:33,945 --> 01:36:35,280
How's the view?
1469
01:36:38,116 --> 01:36:40,201
- Hideous
- Mine's pretty sweet.
1470
01:36:40,368 --> 01:36:42,162
They made you one
of these suits yet?
1471
01:36:42,245 --> 01:36:43,288
No, not yet.
1472
01:36:43,455 --> 01:36:45,790
You've got something to
look forward to then.
1473
01:36:45,957 --> 01:36:48,543
We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.
1474
01:36:50,003 --> 01:36:51,296
Good luck.
1475
01:36:58,970 --> 01:36:59,971
Looking good, Eggsy.
1476
01:37:02,640 --> 01:37:05,351
Feeling good, Merlin.
1477
01:37:10,648 --> 01:37:12,233
This is
November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo...
1478
01:37:12,400 --> 01:37:14,819
requesting permission to land.
1479
01:37:17,822 --> 01:37:20,366
Permission is granted.
1480
01:37:24,037 --> 01:37:25,663
Fuck me.
1481
01:37:53,024 --> 01:37:55,485
Eggsy, we're on.
1482
01:38:10,208 --> 01:38:11,209
Chester King.
1483
01:38:12,210 --> 01:38:14,170
Mr. King, welcome.
1484
01:38:14,546 --> 01:38:18,341
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...
1485
01:38:18,508 --> 01:38:19,842
but if you don't object...
Of course.
1486
01:38:20,009 --> 01:38:21,219
Thank you.
1487
01:38:21,719 --> 01:38:23,846
Do you have any luggage?
1488
01:38:24,806 --> 01:38:25,848
Congratulations, Mycroft,
1489
01:38:25,890 --> 01:38:28,268
you just graduated
from my pilot to my valet.
1490
01:38:28,893 --> 01:38:31,354
You cheeky...
Understood?
1491
01:38:31,521 --> 01:38:32,772
Good.
1492
01:38:34,065 --> 01:38:35,692
Thank you.
1493
01:39:00,967 --> 01:39:04,554
Eggsy,
find a laptop, get me online.
1494
01:39:04,596 --> 01:39:05,597
The clock is ticking.
1495
01:39:06,764 --> 01:39:09,475
And remember, try to blend in.
1496
01:39:09,642 --> 01:39:11,603
Would sir care for a drink?
1497
01:39:12,228 --> 01:39:13,438
Martini.
1498
01:39:13,605 --> 01:39:15,773
Gin, not vodka, obviously.
1499
01:39:15,940 --> 01:39:19,652
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of vermouth.
1500
01:39:20,278 --> 01:39:21,487
Thank you.
1501
01:39:24,282 --> 01:39:26,075
Merlin, are you clocking this?
1502
01:39:26,284 --> 01:39:28,328
Yes, I am. Stay focused.
1503
01:39:28,953 --> 01:39:31,122
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.
1504
01:39:31,831 --> 01:39:32,957
Yes, Merlin.
1505
01:39:34,459 --> 01:39:36,753
Eggsy, get me online now.
1506
01:39:37,670 --> 01:39:38,671
Yep, I'm on it.
1507
01:39:39,839 --> 01:39:41,966
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.
1508
01:39:42,300 --> 01:39:44,093
Those balloons
won't last much longer.
1509
01:39:44,969 --> 01:39:46,929
Prepare to engage missile.
1510
01:40:02,357 --> 01:40:03,567
Society's dead.
1511
01:40:04,025 --> 01:40:05,610
Long live society.
1512
01:40:06,862 --> 01:40:08,196
Amen to that.
1513
01:40:09,656 --> 01:40:11,700
- I'm Morten Lindström.
- Chester King.
1514
01:40:12,033 --> 01:40:13,368
- How'd you get online?
- I couldn't.
1515
01:40:13,743 --> 01:40:14,870
Oh, well, it's a closed
network, you see.
1516
01:40:14,911 --> 01:40:16,204
Pre-authorized
connections only.
1517
01:40:20,917 --> 01:40:22,210
I've got a fix on the satellite.
1518
01:40:22,377 --> 01:40:23,503
Do you have the correct time?
1519
01:40:23,670 --> 01:40:24,880
I think I'm still
in my last time zone.
1520
01:40:24,921 --> 01:40:26,423
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Let's see now.
1521
01:40:40,557 --> 01:40:41,558
Eggsy, I'm in.
1522
01:40:41,725 --> 01:40:42,809
Get your arse back
to the plane, now.
1523
01:40:42,976 --> 01:40:44,561
On my way.
Lancelot, good luck!
1524
01:40:44,728 --> 01:40:46,897
Firing in 3... 2...
1525
01:40:54,279 --> 01:40:55,280
Nice and slow.
1526
01:40:55,447 --> 01:40:56,615
Fuck are you doing here?
1527
01:40:56,782 --> 01:40:59,117
Well, my family
were invited, obviously.
1528
01:40:59,284 --> 01:41:00,911
Now, get the fuck up!
Slowly.
1529
01:41:02,120 --> 01:41:03,997
Oh, shit. Lancelot,
hurry up and fire!
1530
01:41:04,164 --> 01:41:05,749
That other balloon
is gonna blow!
1531
01:41:05,916 --> 01:41:08,961
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!
1532
01:41:10,837 --> 01:41:13,757
Valentine!
I've caught a fucking spy!
1533
01:41:14,424 --> 01:41:15,467
V-Glass, zoom.
1534
01:41:15,634 --> 01:41:17,678
Oh, fuck!
It's that young valet.
1535
01:41:21,473 --> 01:41:23,183
Son of a bitch.
1536
01:41:23,767 --> 01:41:24,851
Got it!
1537
01:41:34,987 --> 01:41:36,280
Oh, shit.
Sound the alarm!
1538
01:41:38,824 --> 01:41:39,866
I'm not taking any chances.
1539
01:41:40,033 --> 01:41:41,535
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.
1540
01:41:41,702 --> 01:41:44,162
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.
1541
01:41:45,497 --> 01:41:47,124
Countdown initiated.
1542
01:41:56,842 --> 01:41:58,510
- You see him?
- Right here.
1543
01:42:07,311 --> 01:42:08,562
Eggsy, take a left.
1544
01:42:09,354 --> 01:42:10,355
Two guards, up ahead.
1545
01:42:22,701 --> 01:42:23,994
Lancelot! Release now!
1546
01:42:35,047 --> 01:42:36,840
Eggsy,
straight ahead, then right.
1547
01:42:37,215 --> 01:42:38,216
There's two more.
1548
01:42:41,928 --> 01:42:44,014
All right,
everybody on your feet!
1549
01:42:44,181 --> 01:42:45,390
Countdown to V-day!
1550
01:42:45,557 --> 01:42:47,059
Welcome in the new age!
1551
01:42:55,442 --> 01:42:56,526
Flat spin.
1552
01:43:11,708 --> 01:43:14,544
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!
1553
01:43:23,303 --> 01:43:24,304
Here we go!
1554
01:43:24,471 --> 01:43:25,472
10...
1555
01:43:26,098 --> 01:43:27,432
9...
1556
01:43:27,933 --> 01:43:28,934
8...
1557
01:43:29,601 --> 01:43:30,602
7...
1558
01:43:31,520 --> 01:43:32,521
6...
1559
01:43:33,188 --> 01:43:34,272
5...
1560
01:43:34,856 --> 01:43:35,857
4...
1561
01:43:36,858 --> 01:43:37,859
3...
1562
01:43:38,026 --> 01:43:39,027
2...
1563
01:43:39,778 --> 01:43:40,779
1!
1564
01:43:46,702 --> 01:43:48,537
Nice! Well done,
both of you.
1565
01:43:49,287 --> 01:43:50,288
It's not working!
1566
01:43:50,455 --> 01:43:52,249
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?
1567
01:43:58,922 --> 01:43:59,965
Yes!
1568
01:44:00,132 --> 01:44:01,466
Well done, Rox. Good girl.
1569
01:44:04,886 --> 01:44:07,347
We've lost one
of our satellites.
1570
01:44:16,898 --> 01:44:20,652
Oh, no, no. There's no way
I can hack past that.
1571
01:44:26,241 --> 01:44:27,242
What's going on?
1572
01:44:28,410 --> 01:44:29,494
Is there a problem?
1573
01:44:30,662 --> 01:44:31,997
Come on.
There's no need for guns.
1574
01:44:32,164 --> 01:44:33,665
I'm just a pilot.
1575
01:44:36,668 --> 01:44:37,711
Oh, fuck. Merlin!
1576
01:44:40,505 --> 01:44:42,090
Get in here!
1577
01:44:46,344 --> 01:44:47,512
Come on!
1578
01:44:51,057 --> 01:44:52,392
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1579
01:44:52,559 --> 01:44:53,560
We can't.
1580
01:44:53,727 --> 01:44:55,187
I can't get into
Valentine's machine.
1581
01:44:55,353 --> 01:44:56,938
He's got biometric security.
1582
01:44:58,356 --> 01:44:59,357
You're gonna have
to get in there
1583
01:44:59,399 --> 01:45:01,735
and make sure his hand
never touches that desk.
1584
01:45:01,902 --> 01:45:03,445
Are you taking the fucking piss?
1585
01:45:03,612 --> 01:45:04,863
I'm afraid not.
1586
01:45:08,033 --> 01:45:09,034
Let's have that then.
1587
01:45:10,702 --> 01:45:12,037
This is mine.
1588
01:45:12,537 --> 01:45:14,456
I'll show you yours.
1589
01:45:31,723 --> 01:45:32,724
Good choice.
1590
01:45:35,435 --> 01:45:36,978
How long to re-link
the satellite chain?
1591
01:45:37,145 --> 01:45:38,396
It'll take an hour, maybe two.
1592
01:45:38,563 --> 01:45:40,649
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.
1593
01:45:40,816 --> 01:45:42,150
But that's not yours.
1594
01:45:47,823 --> 01:45:50,033
V-Glass, call E-man.
1595
01:45:50,408 --> 01:45:51,743
E, it's V.
1596
01:45:51,910 --> 01:45:53,912
Listen, man, I got a
little hiccup on this end.
1597
01:45:54,079 --> 01:45:55,080
I need to piggyback.
1598
01:45:55,247 --> 01:45:56,915
One of my satellites
just went down,
1599
01:45:56,957 --> 01:45:59,251
but it's right next
to one of yours.
1600
01:45:59,793 --> 01:46:01,253
You read my mind.
1601
01:46:01,920 --> 01:46:03,505
How long before you
make that happen?
1602
01:46:06,591 --> 01:46:07,634
Go.
1603
01:46:11,805 --> 01:46:13,765
All right, we should be
coming back online.
1604
01:46:16,601 --> 01:46:17,602
10 percent.
1605
01:46:20,480 --> 01:46:21,523
Oh, shit!
1606
01:46:21,690 --> 01:46:23,483
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.
1607
01:46:23,650 --> 01:46:25,610
He's going to
reconnect the chain.
1608
01:46:25,777 --> 01:46:27,195
It's going to take him
no time at all.
1609
01:46:28,196 --> 01:46:29,281
It's at 20 percent.
1610
01:46:47,215 --> 01:46:50,468
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a
present for you. Get a move on!
1611
01:47:24,002 --> 01:47:25,378
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?
1612
01:47:25,587 --> 01:47:27,213
Not yet, but he will be soon.
1613
01:47:27,380 --> 01:47:29,090
Good.
1614
01:47:42,020 --> 01:47:43,021
Merlin, I'm fucked.
1615
01:47:56,242 --> 01:47:57,243
As am I.
1616
01:47:57,410 --> 01:47:59,746
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.
1617
01:48:00,205 --> 01:48:03,041
Rox, I need a favor.
1618
01:48:03,208 --> 01:48:04,250
Call my mum.
1619
01:48:04,417 --> 01:48:05,961
Tell her to lock herself
away from Dean.
1620
01:48:06,628 --> 01:48:07,629
And the baby...
1621
01:48:09,255 --> 01:48:10,256
and tell her I love her.
1622
01:48:19,224 --> 01:48:20,475
Oh, for fuck's sake.
1623
01:48:24,813 --> 01:48:27,983
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?
1624
01:48:29,776 --> 01:48:30,944
Any chance you can turn them on?
1625
01:48:34,447 --> 01:48:35,448
All right.
1626
01:48:35,615 --> 01:48:38,076
My turn to play, Valentine.
1627
01:48:46,584 --> 01:48:47,752
Oh, no!
1628
01:48:47,919 --> 01:48:50,338
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.
1629
01:49:03,768 --> 01:49:04,811
Yes, please.
1630
01:49:08,481 --> 01:49:09,649
No!
1631
01:50:06,414 --> 01:50:08,500
Oh, my God!
1632
01:50:08,666 --> 01:50:10,668
That is fucking spectacular!
1633
01:50:10,835 --> 01:50:12,712
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!
1634
01:50:13,922 --> 01:50:16,925
What the fuck
is happening out there?
1635
01:50:21,221 --> 01:50:22,514
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?
1636
01:50:22,680 --> 01:50:23,723
Can you get me out?
1637
01:50:24,349 --> 01:50:26,267
If I do, will you give me a kiss?
1638
01:50:26,434 --> 01:50:27,852
I've always wanted
to kiss a princess.
1639
01:50:28,019 --> 01:50:30,021
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.
1640
01:50:32,273 --> 01:50:33,525
You motherfucker.
1641
01:50:33,691 --> 01:50:35,527
Did you really think
I was stupid enough...
1642
01:50:35,693 --> 01:50:37,862
to implant one of those
things in my own head?
1643
01:50:38,321 --> 01:50:39,864
What are you, fucking crazy?
1644
01:50:40,824 --> 01:50:43,118
All those innocent people
killed and for what?
1645
01:50:43,993 --> 01:50:46,830
You didn't stop shit!
1646
01:50:48,206 --> 01:50:50,208
Fine, I've locked the door.
What do you want me to do now?
1647
01:50:50,375 --> 01:50:53,211
As I said, put your daughter in the
bathroom and throw away the key.
1648
01:50:54,003 --> 01:50:56,381
It's still happening!
1649
01:50:56,548 --> 01:50:57,715
You're fucking insane!
1650
01:50:57,882 --> 01:50:59,008
Just do it.
1651
01:51:26,327 --> 01:51:27,662
Eggsy, the signal's started!
1652
01:51:27,829 --> 01:51:30,999
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!
1653
01:51:31,166 --> 01:51:32,167
Sorry, love.
1654
01:51:32,500 --> 01:51:33,585
Got to save the world.
1655
01:51:33,751 --> 01:51:35,336
If you save the world...
1656
01:51:35,503 --> 01:51:37,172
we can do it in the asshole.
1657
01:51:38,423 --> 01:51:40,341
I'll be right back.
1658
01:51:41,718 --> 01:51:42,719
Good luck!
1659
01:51:49,434 --> 01:51:50,435
London.
1660
01:52:18,922 --> 01:52:19,923
Rio.
1661
01:52:35,813 --> 01:52:36,814
Get down!
1662
01:52:38,816 --> 01:52:39,817
You did it!
1663
01:52:49,410 --> 01:52:51,329
The glass is not
gonna hold long.
1664
01:52:52,997 --> 01:52:54,624
You stay here.
1665
01:52:56,834 --> 01:52:58,002
Merlin, quickly,
how do I get up there?
1666
01:52:58,336 --> 01:53:00,255
Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
Understood.
1667
01:53:16,813 --> 01:53:17,897
Holy fuck!
1668
01:53:36,416 --> 01:53:37,709
We're back up.
1669
01:53:38,584 --> 01:53:39,877
We're back up!
1670
01:53:46,884 --> 01:53:48,594
This is great!
1671
01:53:56,644 --> 01:53:57,645
Eggsy!
1672
01:53:57,729 --> 01:53:59,272
Fucking get on with it!
1673
01:53:59,439 --> 01:54:00,648
Kick his ass, Gazy!
1674
01:54:07,280 --> 01:54:10,074
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!
1675
01:54:18,458 --> 01:54:20,918
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!
1676
01:54:38,311 --> 01:54:40,313
Eggsy, the world is
going to shit!
1677
01:54:49,697 --> 01:54:51,783
Is he dead yet?
Not yet!
1678
01:54:51,949 --> 01:54:54,035
Stop playing with your food!
1679
01:54:54,202 --> 01:54:55,203
Kill him!
1680
01:56:13,322 --> 01:56:14,699
Gazelle!
1681
01:56:16,534 --> 01:56:17,702
Gazelle!
1682
01:56:27,336 --> 01:56:29,046
Come on! Come on!
1683
01:56:31,674 --> 01:56:32,675
Kill him!
1684
01:56:50,026 --> 01:56:51,444
Hey!
1685
01:57:16,093 --> 01:57:17,595
Well done, son!
1686
01:57:17,929 --> 01:57:19,889
Whoo! Yes!
1687
01:57:20,056 --> 01:57:21,224
Yes, Eggsy!
1688
01:57:21,390 --> 01:57:22,934
Well done, Eggsy!
1689
01:57:23,434 --> 01:57:24,602
And you, Lancelot.
1690
01:57:27,355 --> 01:57:29,941
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.
1691
01:57:30,566 --> 01:57:33,611
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
1692
01:57:36,113 --> 01:57:37,114
Are you okay?
1693
01:57:40,910 --> 01:57:42,787
Harry would be
proud of you, Eggsy.
1694
01:57:44,121 --> 01:57:45,206
He was right.
1695
01:58:00,638 --> 01:58:01,931
What's up, man?
1696
01:58:02,306 --> 01:58:05,643
Is this the part where you
say some really bad pun?
1697
01:58:07,144 --> 01:58:09,146
Well, it's like
you said to Harry.
1698
01:58:12,316 --> 01:58:14,652
This ain't that kind
of movie, bruv.
1699
01:58:16,153 --> 01:58:17,572
Perfect.
1700
01:58:38,467 --> 01:58:39,635
Eggsy, where are you going?
1701
01:58:39,802 --> 01:58:41,929
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.
1702
01:58:49,186 --> 01:58:50,271
Did you save the world?
1703
01:58:50,855 --> 01:58:52,315
Yes, I did.
1704
01:58:53,649 --> 01:58:56,444
So, you gonna come in?
1705
01:58:57,194 --> 01:58:58,696
Yes, I am.
1706
01:59:00,781 --> 01:59:02,742
Slave to love
1707
01:59:04,160 --> 01:59:06,037
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in?
1708
01:59:08,331 --> 01:59:09,874
26-25.
1709
01:59:14,211 --> 01:59:16,797
Merlin, you're the guvnor.
1710
01:59:19,008 --> 01:59:21,385
You owe me, Eggsy.
1711
01:59:27,016 --> 01:59:28,059
Eggsy?
1712
01:59:34,065 --> 01:59:35,733
Oh, my word.
1713
02:00:22,947 --> 02:00:25,491
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.
1714
02:00:26,784 --> 02:00:28,285
I rather like that song.
1715
02:00:28,828 --> 02:00:30,413
Leave it on, eh, Mum?
1716
02:00:34,166 --> 02:00:36,085
Mugsy's back.
1717
02:00:36,210 --> 02:00:38,254
You've finally come to have that
word with me, have you, son?
1718
02:00:39,004 --> 02:00:40,297
Or are you gonna
run away again...
1719
02:00:40,464 --> 02:00:42,049
and pretend you're going to
court, dressed like that?
1720
02:00:42,508 --> 02:00:43,884
Oh, you mean this?
1721
02:00:45,428 --> 02:00:46,721
No.
1722
02:00:47,346 --> 02:00:50,641
I know this bloke who's just taken
over a tailor shop on Savile Row.
1723
02:00:51,726 --> 02:00:53,310
He's given me a job, Mum.
1724
02:00:54,019 --> 02:00:55,312
It comes with a lot of perks.
1725
02:00:56,689 --> 02:00:58,023
Including a house.
1726
02:00:59,191 --> 02:01:01,026
Come and live
with me there, Mum.
1727
02:01:01,610 --> 02:01:02,611
Come on.
1728
02:01:02,653 --> 02:01:03,654
Sit down, you.
1729
02:01:04,989 --> 02:01:07,158
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.
1730
02:01:07,324 --> 02:01:09,118
- Do you hear?
- Just leave him alone, Dean!
1731
02:01:09,285 --> 02:01:11,537
Eggsy, just go.
Please, just go, babe.
1732
02:01:12,997 --> 02:01:14,290
All right.
1733
02:01:14,457 --> 02:01:16,000
That's it, do as Mummy says.
1734
02:01:16,167 --> 02:01:17,501
Why don't you ask
that tailor friend of yours,
1735
02:01:17,585 --> 02:01:19,003
and knock up a
nice chicken costume.
1736
02:01:19,170 --> 02:01:20,546
It'll suit you, you mug.
1737
02:01:22,798 --> 02:01:25,593
As a good friend once said...
1738
02:01:26,886 --> 02:01:28,012
"Manners...
1739
02:01:29,930 --> 02:01:30,931
"maketh...
1740
02:01:33,476 --> 02:01:34,477
"man."
1741
02:01:35,352 --> 02:01:37,688
Dean?
Shut the fuck up.
1742
02:01:37,855 --> 02:01:40,274
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove
your manners up your fucking...
1743
02:01:46,238 --> 02:01:47,239
So...
1744
02:01:47,490 --> 02:01:51,494
are we gonna stand around here
all day, or are we gonna fight?
125059