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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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[Applause]
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00:00:10,213 --> 00:00:14,473
Okay, Pete Marcus goes to Sandy Bilbo.
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00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:19,662
Remember, every dollar earned
today at the It's A Date Auction,
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00:00:19,663 --> 00:00:22,439
goes to buying our
marching band instruments.
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00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:25,464
Because a marching band without
instruments is just some kids,
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00:00:25,465 --> 00:00:30,033
stomping around a football
field like a bunch of dopes.
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00:00:30,034 --> 00:00:32,882
Yo, to win an auction,
you gotta play it smooth.
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00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:34,891
Let the other bidders
make the first move.
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00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:36,455
Up next is Carol Thompson.
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00:00:36,456 --> 00:00:38,316
$50!
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00:00:39,298 --> 00:00:41,929
Ooh, okay. Uh, who will give me 60?
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00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:43,730
75.
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00:00:44,095 --> 00:00:47,097
Smooth, Jerry. Smooth.
15
00:00:47,098 --> 00:00:50,878
Sold to Jerry Martinez for $75.
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00:00:53,215 --> 00:00:56,106
And that brings us to Kim Crawford.
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00:00:56,107 --> 00:00:59,573
This black belt beauty is what you
saved your lunch money for, people.
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00:00:59,574 --> 00:01:01,794
[Cheering]
19
00:01:01,855 --> 00:01:03,215
Yeah!
20
00:01:03,216 --> 00:01:05,248
Milton, I don't know if I can do this.
21
00:01:05,249 --> 00:01:08,118
This is kind of embarrassing. It's
not really my thing. I don't...
22
00:01:08,119 --> 00:01:11,119
[Dance music playing]
23
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:22,483
Okay.
24
00:01:22,633 --> 00:01:26,174
Well, you are a shy
little thing, aren't you?
25
00:01:26,175 --> 00:01:27,537
Do I hear 50?
26
00:01:27,538 --> 00:01:31,678
Yes, you do, you do, you really do.
27
00:01:32,575 --> 00:01:37,163
Albert, President of the Mathletes
with the first bid. Do I hear 60?
28
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,315
Nicholas, Captain of the football team.
29
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:40,383
Do I hear 70?
30
00:01:40,384 --> 00:01:42,784
- 70.
- 80?
31
00:01:42,791 --> 00:01:43,789
90?
32
00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:45,767
Do I hear $100?
33
00:01:45,768 --> 00:01:47,774
- Oh.
- $200!
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00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,695
Whaa.
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00:01:51,161 --> 00:01:53,044
Going once, going twice...
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00:01:53,045 --> 00:01:54,164
Keep going, keep going.
37
00:01:54,165 --> 00:01:58,785
Sold for a record
breaking $200 to Albert.
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00:02:00,069 --> 00:02:02,786
Carol, I've been saving for weeks.
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00:02:02,787 --> 00:02:04,307
You're the only girl for me.
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00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:06,207
Up next is Sue Lin.
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00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:07,634
$100!
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00:02:07,635 --> 00:02:09,450
[Rock music playing]
43
00:02:09,451 --> 00:02:10,455
-
Don't...
-
Don't...
44
00:02:10,456 --> 00:02:11,436
-
You...
-
You...
45
00:02:11,437 --> 00:02:12,695
Get all tough with me!
46
00:02:12,696 --> 00:02:13,442
I'm saying...
47
00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:14,451
-
Won't...
-
Won't...
48
00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:15,378
-
You...
-
You...
49
00:02:15,379 --> 00:02:16,799
Come kick it with me?
50
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,068
And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!
51
00:02:19,069 --> 00:02:20,970
-
That's just how we do.
-
Come on!
52
00:02:20,971 --> 00:02:26,139
And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
53
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,164
Here we go, let's start the party!
54
00:02:28,165 --> 00:02:29,714
Chop it up like it's karate.
55
00:02:29,715 --> 00:02:31,083
Everybody!
56
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,369
-
Don't...
-
Don't...
57
00:02:32,370 --> 00:02:33,386
-
You...
-
You...
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00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,606
Get all tough with me!
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00:02:34,607 --> 00:02:35,342
I'm saying...
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00:02:35,343 --> 00:02:36,381
-
Won't...
-
Won't...
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00:02:36,382 --> 00:02:37,291
-
You...
-
You...
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00:02:37,292 --> 00:02:38,754
Come kick it with me?
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00:02:38,755 --> 00:02:41,311
And we could have a
ball, run up the wall!
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00:02:41,312 --> 00:02:43,042
-
That's just how we do.
-
Come on!
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00:02:43,043 --> 00:02:48,943
And no matter how much I chop and punch
it's not as cool as kickin' it with you.
66
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,356
I know it's for a good cause but,
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00:02:58,357 --> 00:03:00,695
I can't believe I'm gonna have
to go on a date with Albert.
68
00:03:00,696 --> 00:03:02,183
Here's a little trick.
69
00:03:02,184 --> 00:03:07,167
If you need to end a date with a
nerd early, lean in, blow in his ear.
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00:03:07,168 --> 00:03:08,655
[Blows]
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00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:11,776
He'll faint. You run.
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00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:14,943
Uh, hey, Kim?
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00:03:14,944 --> 00:03:17,995
Uh, you're not gonna have to
go on the date with Albert.
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00:03:17,996 --> 00:03:20,295
Yeah, I am. He had the highest bid.
75
00:03:20,296 --> 00:03:25,138
Well, he did the bidding,
but it wasn't for himself.
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00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,591
It was for me.
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00:03:27,592 --> 00:03:30,192
What? Really, why?
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00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:32,012
I don't know, I guess...
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00:03:32,013 --> 00:03:34,481
The thought of you going
out with some other guy...
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00:03:34,482 --> 00:03:37,121
To be honest, it kind of bothered me.
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00:03:37,122 --> 00:03:38,934
What are you saying, Jack?
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00:03:38,935 --> 00:03:43,675
I'm saying that maybe
we should go on a...
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00:03:43,843 --> 00:03:45,684
An outing?
84
00:03:45,685 --> 00:03:47,060
We could definitely do an outing.
85
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,486
- An outing.
- An outing. Yeah.
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00:03:49,487 --> 00:03:52,842
So, uh, why didn't you
just bid on me yourself?
87
00:03:52,843 --> 00:03:54,434
I don't know. I just...
88
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,884
I thought it would
weird our friends out.
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00:03:56,885 --> 00:04:00,725
Yeah, you're right. The minute they
find out we're going on an actual...
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00:04:00,726 --> 00:04:02,880
Date, they'll treat us differently.
91
00:04:02,881 --> 00:04:06,276
- So we'll keep it to ourselves?
- Absolutely.
92
00:04:06,277 --> 00:04:07,355
Albert: Kim!
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00:04:07,356 --> 00:04:09,576
Kim! Kim!
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00:04:09,711 --> 00:04:11,561
[Panting]
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00:04:11,562 --> 00:04:13,263
Albert, what are you doing here?
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00:04:13,264 --> 00:04:15,711
Kim, I'm glad I caught you.
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00:04:15,712 --> 00:04:17,849
Give me a second. Woo!
98
00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:21,112
Oh, I just ran all the way from Phil's.
99
00:04:21,113 --> 00:04:23,098
Jack, forget our agreement.
100
00:04:23,099 --> 00:04:28,737
I realize that I too have feelings for
Kim and I'm gonna take her on a date.
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00:04:28,738 --> 00:04:31,074
- Uh, Albert, I...
- Jack, I got this.
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00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:34,289
Our date will begin with a romantic
carriage ride through the park...
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00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:36,112
Where, you know, we'll hold hands and...
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00:04:36,113 --> 00:04:39,233
- [Blows]
- Nerd down.
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00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:50,679
So, Sam, did you decide what you're
gonna do for the school Talent Show?
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00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,273
Yep. Piano.
107
00:04:52,274 --> 00:04:55,454
It's pronounced karate.
108
00:04:55,897 --> 00:04:57,904
It's a good choice.
109
00:04:57,905 --> 00:05:00,075
But they have this
great piano there, Rudy.
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00:05:00,076 --> 00:05:02,444
I could program like 10
different instruments on it.
111
00:05:02,445 --> 00:05:03,852
I think I can win.
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00:05:03,853 --> 00:05:07,140
Please. Nobody likes music.
113
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,115
Karate's how you win a Talent Show.
114
00:05:09,116 --> 00:05:12,285
And I would have won mine if I didn't
get a raging case of donkey pox.
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00:05:12,286 --> 00:05:13,786
Donkey pox?
116
00:05:13,787 --> 00:05:18,407
Yeah, it's like chicken
pox but phlegmier.
117
00:05:19,091 --> 00:05:21,494
Rudy: I had to be in the
bubble because I was contagious.
118
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:26,042
But everything was going fine
until my regulator malfunctioned.
119
00:05:26,043 --> 00:05:26,942
[Clangs]
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00:05:26,943 --> 00:05:29,043
[Hisses]
121
00:05:30,269 --> 00:05:32,249
[Pops]
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00:05:35,107 --> 00:05:37,080
Rudy: Of course, the sneeze didn't help.
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00:05:37,081 --> 00:05:39,241
[Sneezes]
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00:05:44,250 --> 00:05:47,893
Now, I lost, but the great
thing about raising kids is
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00:05:47,894 --> 00:05:51,575
you can force them to achieve
the goals you could not.
126
00:05:51,576 --> 00:05:55,056
That's just good parenting.
127
00:06:04,676 --> 00:06:05,911
Hey, Kim.
128
00:06:05,912 --> 00:06:07,811
I got us a reservation at Portaccini's.
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00:06:07,812 --> 00:06:08,938
That's impossible.
130
00:06:08,939 --> 00:06:12,075
Tomorrow night, 7:30,
table by the fountain.
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00:06:12,076 --> 00:06:14,926
This is gonna be perfect. I
even made you a little something.
132
00:06:14,927 --> 00:06:17,290
But remember we're not saying
a word about this to anyone.
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00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:19,271
Right.
134
00:06:19,562 --> 00:06:22,202
- Okay.
- Okay.
135
00:06:23,094 --> 00:06:24,297
[Girl chattering on phone]
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00:06:24,298 --> 00:06:25,993
Uh-huh.
137
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,832
Really?
138
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:30,473
You don't say.
139
00:06:36,174 --> 00:06:38,334
[Exhales]
140
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:42,099
That was Carol Thompson. Clingy.
141
00:06:42,100 --> 00:06:44,449
Kim, I can't stand clingy girls.
142
00:06:44,450 --> 00:06:47,029
I'm sorry things with
Carol didn't work out but,
143
00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:50,587
I'm sure the right person is
even closer than you think.
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00:06:50,588 --> 00:06:53,408
[Chatter continues]
145
00:06:53,887 --> 00:06:57,307
Uh, Kim, you dropped this.
146
00:07:01,032 --> 00:07:03,312
J plus K?
147
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,699
No way.
148
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:09,571
Wait, is this you and
Jack? You guys are together?
149
00:07:09,572 --> 00:07:11,444
No. No no no no. It's not Jack.
150
00:07:11,445 --> 00:07:15,045
It's a different "J" person.
151
00:07:20,283 --> 00:07:22,652
Wait a minute.
152
00:07:22,653 --> 00:07:25,773
Jerry's a "J" person.
153
00:07:26,611 --> 00:07:29,311
Is this "J" me?
154
00:07:29,588 --> 00:07:31,508
Uh...
155
00:07:34,166 --> 00:07:36,866
- Yes.
- [Gasps]
156
00:07:36,869 --> 00:07:38,203
Yes, it is.
157
00:07:38,204 --> 00:07:39,478
Ah!
158
00:07:39,479 --> 00:07:43,639
It makes so much sense now. The
right person is closer than you think.
159
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,011
Tomorrow night we're
going on our first date.
160
00:07:46,012 --> 00:07:49,807
- Uh, you know, Jerry, I...
- Shh shh shh shh shh shh.
161
00:07:49,808 --> 00:07:53,150
You're gonna see the soft,
sensitive side of Jerry Martinez.
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00:07:53,151 --> 00:07:55,090
Just hang on.
163
00:07:55,091 --> 00:07:58,335
- [Chatter continues]
- It's over, Carol. You're out!
164
00:07:58,336 --> 00:07:59,615
[Groans]
165
00:07:59,616 --> 00:08:03,006
It's not as cool as
kickin' it with you.
166
00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:05,747
Okay, lesson one, defense.
167
00:08:05,748 --> 00:08:08,729
Now I'm gonna swing this focus pad
at you and you're gonna duck under it.
168
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,710
Ready?
169
00:08:13,205 --> 00:08:14,451
You have to duck.
170
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:19,252
- Oh, all right.
- Okay? Let's try it again.
171
00:08:20,711 --> 00:08:23,522
- You know, I think I see the problem.
- I'm not very good at karate?
172
00:08:23,523 --> 00:08:26,552
That, and you have
the reflexes of a wall.
173
00:08:26,553 --> 00:08:28,635
But that's okay. Let me show you.
174
00:08:28,636 --> 00:08:31,499
I'm gonna say ready,
you swing, I'll duck.
175
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:34,294
Now, you're not gonna be able
to hit me because I'm a Sensei
176
00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:36,495
and I have what some people
call super ninja reflexes.
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00:08:36,496 --> 00:08:38,596
[Grunts]
178
00:08:42,250 --> 00:08:43,615
That's perfect.
179
00:08:43,616 --> 00:08:46,346
You know, I've never actually
bought a corsage before.
180
00:08:46,347 --> 00:08:49,393
I'm pretty excited.
It's for my new girlfr...
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00:08:49,394 --> 00:08:51,434
Person.
182
00:08:53,042 --> 00:08:56,542
Hey, Jack. What you got in the box?
183
00:08:56,543 --> 00:08:59,423
Uh, it's my uh...
184
00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:03,876
Bird.
185
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,857
Bucky.
186
00:09:06,681 --> 00:09:08,860
Why is your bird in a box?
187
00:09:08,861 --> 00:09:11,553
Well, my bird is in a...
188
00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:14,494
Box because it's...
189
00:09:15,107 --> 00:09:17,590
Dead. I mean...
190
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,511
Dead.
191
00:09:19,631 --> 00:09:21,862
I am so sorry.
192
00:09:21,863 --> 00:09:26,483
- Come on. Bring it in, you.
- No, thanks.
193
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,966
[Exhales]
194
00:09:29,967 --> 00:09:31,862
Okay, you know...
195
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:36,020
Thank you, Milton, but I'm grieving,
so I should probably be alone right now.
196
00:09:36,021 --> 00:09:39,188
You're wrong, Jack. A funeral
service is exactly what you need.
197
00:09:39,189 --> 00:09:42,817
That's why I'm arranging one
here at the dojo tomorrow.
198
00:09:42,818 --> 00:09:45,467
Ah, I don't know, man.
199
00:09:45,468 --> 00:09:48,243
Bucky was a very private bird.
200
00:09:48,244 --> 00:09:50,316
Trust me, Jack.
201
00:09:50,317 --> 00:09:53,056
I didn't get to say a proper
good-bye to my goldfish.
202
00:09:53,057 --> 00:09:56,507
There are some days I just
can't even get out of bed.
203
00:09:56,508 --> 00:09:58,676
I'm sorry, man. When did that happen?
204
00:09:58,677 --> 00:10:01,317
Nine years ago.
205
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,641
Wow. Kim, you look amazing.
206
00:10:07,642 --> 00:10:10,144
Thanks. You do too.
207
00:10:10,145 --> 00:10:12,699
This was supposed to be our
romantic date at Portaccini's.
208
00:10:12,700 --> 00:10:16,216
Yeah, instead I'm going to a funeral
for a bird that doesn't exist.
209
00:10:16,217 --> 00:10:21,209
I'm going on a date with Jerry
who unfortunately does exist.
210
00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:23,014
Let's get our grieve on, Jack.
211
00:10:23,015 --> 00:10:26,660
Kim, you're not gonna believe this.
I got us a table at Portaccini's.
212
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:30,321
Some poor dude had to cancel.
213
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:47,478
You know, I can't say I'm surprised
you wanted to date me, Kim.
214
00:10:47,479 --> 00:10:50,368
See, the thing about me is
I'm all cool on the outside,
215
00:10:50,369 --> 00:10:54,269
but on the inside I'm en fuego.
216
00:10:54,897 --> 00:10:57,746
You know, I think that's why
I suffer from extreme fevers.
217
00:10:57,747 --> 00:10:58,744
You know my doctor...
218
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,761
[Jerry's voice] Oh, I
can't stand clingy girls.
219
00:11:00,762 --> 00:11:02,897
[Echoing] Clingy girls...
220
00:11:02,898 --> 00:11:05,833
- He said it was a mixture of like...
- Yeah yeah. That's great. Whatever.
221
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:11,409
Listen, now that we're dating,
there's gonna be some changes.
222
00:11:11,410 --> 00:11:12,594
Changes?
223
00:11:12,595 --> 00:11:15,807
This Saturday, instead of going
to your cousin Chewy's birthday,
224
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:19,065
we're gonna go shopping for skirts.
225
00:11:19,066 --> 00:11:21,295
But I don't wear skirts.
226
00:11:21,296 --> 00:11:24,264
And on Sunday, we're gonna
go to the craft store.
227
00:11:24,265 --> 00:11:28,187
They have an all day candle
making class for couples.
228
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:30,157
That is so not en fuego.
229
00:11:30,158 --> 00:11:32,159
I have to go to the bathroom.
230
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,760
I'm gonna miss you so much.
231
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:42,520
[Cellphone ringing]
232
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,621
Hello?
233
00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,376
Kim: Hey, Sweetie. It's me.
234
00:11:49,377 --> 00:11:51,712
Kim, are you calling
me from the bathroom?
235
00:11:51,713 --> 00:11:52,729
Uh-huh.
236
00:11:52,730 --> 00:11:54,950
[Flushing]
237
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:02,342
When I come back, I'm never
letting you out of my sight.
238
00:12:02,343 --> 00:12:05,192
We're gonna go shopping...
239
00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:07,413
[Burbling]
240
00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,638
It's not as cool as
kickin' it with you!
241
00:12:14,639 --> 00:12:17,449
That was Donna Meikin playing
Chinese checkers with her poodle.
242
00:12:17,450 --> 00:12:19,122
Who lost?
243
00:12:19,123 --> 00:12:21,742
All of us who had to watch it.
244
00:12:21,743 --> 00:12:26,630
Next up is Sam who's gonna kick things
into high gear with a little karate!
245
00:12:26,631 --> 00:12:28,715
- [Fabric rips]
- [Yelps]
246
00:12:28,716 --> 00:12:33,456
Oh, I hope that ripping
sound was my pants.
247
00:12:37,137 --> 00:12:39,026
[Rock music playing]
248
00:12:39,027 --> 00:12:43,587
Come on, Sam. Remember
what I taught you.
249
00:12:47,861 --> 00:12:48,902
Boo!
250
00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:51,603
[Audience booing]
251
00:12:52,406 --> 00:12:54,808
Hey, come on, come on. He's trying.
252
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:56,481
Boo!
253
00:12:56,482 --> 00:12:58,938
Oh. Oh, really?
254
00:12:58,939 --> 00:13:02,382
Amazing Wally, your magic act stunk.
255
00:13:02,383 --> 00:13:07,903
The only thing you made
disappear was my will to live.
256
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:13,826
Your loss has left us in a lurch.
257
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:17,644
We stare now at an empty perch.
258
00:13:17,645 --> 00:13:21,605
So sad are we that you are gone.
259
00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:26,323
If only you had known the fan was on.
260
00:13:26,419 --> 00:13:31,044
- Oh, death! Thy sting...
- Okay, thank you. Thank you.
261
00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:33,761
Jack, why don't you come
up and say something?
262
00:13:33,762 --> 00:13:37,623
- Uh, no no. I'm good. Thank you.
- No, come on.
263
00:13:37,624 --> 00:13:40,144
Say something.
264
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:50,227
Bye bye, birdie.
265
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,834
Thank you all for coming.
266
00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:56,203
Oh, no. This was just the memorial.
267
00:13:56,204 --> 00:14:01,647
Now we take the four mile funeral march up
to Mount Seaford for the graveside service.
268
00:14:01,648 --> 00:14:06,973
And then down to the skating arena for
the musical tribute Bucky's life on ice.
269
00:14:06,974 --> 00:14:07,950
[Sobs]
270
00:14:07,951 --> 00:14:11,671
I wish it was me in the box.
271
00:14:12,052 --> 00:14:15,292
It should have been me.
272
00:14:16,073 --> 00:14:19,437
It's not as cool as
kickin' it with you!
273
00:14:19,438 --> 00:14:21,651
What a night.
274
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:26,732
Portaccini's for dinner, a
walk through the park, and...
275
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:30,693
The night ends here at our place.
276
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,689
So I was thinking tomorrow we'd go to
the lake in Eisenhower Park and rent one
277
00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:38,690
of those swan paddled boats and just
float for hours and hours and hours!
278
00:14:38,691 --> 00:14:40,945
We gotta talk.
279
00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:43,440
Uh, going out with you has been...
280
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:46,801
Go ahead. I can take it.
281
00:14:47,222 --> 00:14:48,989
The greatest thing that
ever happened to me.
282
00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:51,309
Oh, it hurts! But they
say time heals all...
283
00:14:51,310 --> 00:14:52,859
What now?
284
00:14:52,860 --> 00:14:55,604
Ever since word got out that
you and I are seeing each other,
285
00:14:55,605 --> 00:14:57,980
every girl in the school
is interested in me.
286
00:14:57,981 --> 00:15:00,567
But I'm so overbearing and clingy.
287
00:15:00,568 --> 00:15:02,269
And extremely annoying.
288
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:04,778
Plus, I don't know if
anybody's told you this,
289
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:08,145
but you have this weird
waddle walk you do.
290
00:15:08,146 --> 00:15:09,876
But I don't care about all that.
291
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,726
What I care about is I'm rejecting girls
292
00:15:11,727 --> 00:15:14,548
that have been rejecting
me since I started school.
293
00:15:14,549 --> 00:15:17,217
Because of you, Kim, I'm
in a whole new league.
294
00:15:17,218 --> 00:15:19,078
Hey.
295
00:15:20,307 --> 00:15:22,915
So... we're not breaking up?
296
00:15:22,916 --> 00:15:25,394
Not for a long time.
297
00:15:25,395 --> 00:15:27,555
[Sobbing]
298
00:15:28,369 --> 00:15:31,367
Well, if it isn't Heather Donnelly.
299
00:15:31,368 --> 00:15:34,568
The girl that was too good
to talk to me in kindergarten.
300
00:15:34,569 --> 00:15:36,448
Should have put a ring on it, Heather!
301
00:15:36,449 --> 00:15:38,429
[Sobs]
302
00:15:38,434 --> 00:15:39,873
This could have been you.
303
00:15:39,874 --> 00:15:42,694
[Sobbing continues]
304
00:15:49,679 --> 00:15:51,617
There you are!
305
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,987
Still recovering from
the trip up Mount Seaford?
306
00:15:53,988 --> 00:15:57,513
Oh, yeah. The important
thing is that it's all over.
307
00:15:57,514 --> 00:16:00,929
Not quite. You just need
to be open to loving again.
308
00:16:00,930 --> 00:16:05,150
That's why after my goldfish
died, my dad got me Leonard.
309
00:16:05,151 --> 00:16:06,933
[Caws]
310
00:16:06,934 --> 00:16:09,629
And now, I'm giving him to you.
311
00:16:09,630 --> 00:16:12,104
Come on, man. I don't
know anything about birds.
312
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:13,330
Except for Lucky.
313
00:16:13,331 --> 00:16:14,908
- Bucky.
- Bucky.
314
00:16:14,909 --> 00:16:16,571
It's really simple.
315
00:16:16,572 --> 00:16:19,777
Just sing him a few songs,
pluck his dead feathers,
316
00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:24,998
and most importantly,
remember to change his diaper.
317
00:16:25,675 --> 00:16:27,621
Did you say change his diaper?
318
00:16:27,622 --> 00:16:29,902
Change me.
319
00:16:30,821 --> 00:16:32,959
- What?
- Change me.
320
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,293
- Dude, I'm not changing your dia...
- I said change me!
321
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:36,875
Okay!
322
00:16:36,876 --> 00:16:38,796
Okay.
323
00:16:40,102 --> 00:16:42,017
Kickin' it with you!
324
00:16:42,018 --> 00:16:45,281
Let's just go. I was horrible,
and everyone was booing me.
325
00:16:45,282 --> 00:16:48,152
Aw, come on, Sam. Not
everyone was booing you.
326
00:16:48,153 --> 00:16:52,087
Some people were sleeping.
Others were running for the exits.
327
00:16:52,088 --> 00:16:55,065
I wish I could have just
gone out and played the piano.
328
00:16:55,066 --> 00:16:58,240
I only did karate
because you wanted me to.
329
00:16:58,241 --> 00:17:00,941
Well, Sam, wait.
330
00:17:00,964 --> 00:17:02,770
I'm sorry.
331
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:05,358
I tried to use your Talent
Show to make up for my own.
332
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:08,299
But that stops now.
333
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:15,247
All right. The show is not over.
334
00:17:15,248 --> 00:17:20,266
Today I forced Sam to do karate when what
he really wanted to do was play the piano.
335
00:17:20,267 --> 00:17:21,613
Boo!
336
00:17:21,614 --> 00:17:26,755
So help me, Wally, I will you
kick you where your doves hide!
337
00:17:26,756 --> 00:17:28,108
Now...
338
00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:31,889
On the piano, my main man Sam.
339
00:17:44,214 --> 00:17:47,334
[Playing dramatic song]
340
00:18:00,626 --> 00:18:02,786
[Beeping]
341
00:18:03,598 --> 00:18:06,478
[Pop music playing]
342
00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:21,295
[Cheering]
343
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:27,080
Sam, I am so proud of
you. You were amazing.
344
00:18:27,081 --> 00:18:28,339
We have a winner.
345
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,372
I won! I won!
346
00:18:30,373 --> 00:18:33,673
I mean, he won, he won.
347
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:43,246
Kickin' it with you!
348
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:46,259
Hey. I got us a table at Portaccini's,
but we only have 40 minutes.
349
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:47,299
Okay, let's go.
350
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:50,296
Oh, hey, guys. Where you going?
351
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:52,034
Yeah. And why are you all dressed up?
352
00:18:52,035 --> 00:18:54,937
Well, I am dressed up...
353
00:18:54,938 --> 00:18:59,193
Because I am going to see the new play!
354
00:18:59,194 --> 00:19:02,776
At the place where people act.
355
00:19:02,777 --> 00:19:06,179
Oh, you mean that 12 hour Shakespeare
Marathon down at the Palladium?
356
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,419
I am so in!
357
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:11,750
Great. So that's
really gonna happen now.
358
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,771
All right, Kim, let's go look for
some cheerleaders for me to reject.
359
00:19:14,772 --> 00:19:18,432
And please, watch your waddle.
360
00:19:21,318 --> 00:19:23,293
You know what, that's it. I'm done.
361
00:19:23,294 --> 00:19:25,062
Me too.
362
00:19:25,063 --> 00:19:27,763
The truth is, we were
going on a date last night,
363
00:19:27,764 --> 00:19:29,705
but we wanted to keep it
a secret from everyone.
364
00:19:29,706 --> 00:19:32,872
So we made up a little lie, and
it kind of blew up in our faces.
365
00:19:32,873 --> 00:19:34,140
What do you mean?
366
00:19:34,141 --> 00:19:38,093
Well, for starters, that box we
buried, it wasn't a dead bird.
367
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:39,627
It was a corsage for Kim.
368
00:19:39,628 --> 00:19:45,022
And Jerry, that bracelet with the J
plus K on it, the "J" was for Jack.
369
00:19:45,023 --> 00:19:46,697
Wait.
370
00:19:46,698 --> 00:19:49,193
So you never really wanted to date me?
371
00:19:49,194 --> 00:19:54,414
Don't take this the wrong
way, but absolutely not.
372
00:19:54,828 --> 00:19:57,717
Tell you what, how about tomorrow at
school you break up with me in front
373
00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:01,552
of the entire cheer leading squad
and I'll take it really really hard?
374
00:20:01,553 --> 00:20:03,868
Oh, that'd be great, Kim.
375
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:08,674
You're the best fake ex-girlfriend
a guy could ever have.
376
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,276
Milton, I'm sorry, man.
377
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:13,279
Don't worry. It kind
of worked out for me.
378
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,378
I have been trying to get rid of that,
379
00:20:15,379 --> 00:20:18,618
feathered flying poop machine
since the day I got him.
380
00:20:18,619 --> 00:20:21,799
Have fun on your date.
381
00:20:23,110 --> 00:20:25,330
[Chuckles]
382
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:36,026
This is for you.
383
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:38,471
[Both chuckle]
384
00:20:38,472 --> 00:20:41,372
I had to hike up the side of a
mountain to bury your corsage.
385
00:20:41,373 --> 00:20:44,985
And I had to pretend to be
Jerry's crazy girlfriend.
386
00:20:44,986 --> 00:20:47,912
All this just so we can go on a date.
387
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,427
You know what?
388
00:20:49,428 --> 00:20:52,188
You're worth it.
389
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:00,924
Kickin' it with you!
390
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:10,403
- So how's your Manicotti?
- Really good. How's your Rigatoni?
391
00:21:10,404 --> 00:21:12,111
It's nice.
392
00:21:12,112 --> 00:21:12,946
[Squawks]
393
00:21:12,947 --> 00:21:15,475
Change my diaper.
394
00:21:15,476 --> 00:21:18,478
- Just ignore him.
- Change my diaper.
395
00:21:18,479 --> 00:21:20,547
No, you don't understand. I have to.
396
00:21:20,548 --> 00:21:23,265
- No, you don't.
- I said change me!
397
00:21:23,266 --> 00:21:25,546
Go go go!
398
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,322
[Humming a tune]
399
00:21:33,744 --> 00:21:35,964
Hey, Kim.
400
00:21:36,245 --> 00:21:38,705
Dining alone?
401
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:46,340
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
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402
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:50,940
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