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1
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:15,968
Dennis, what's
that smell I like?
2
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,234
A meadow after
a rainstorm? That's it.
3
00:00:20,133 --> 00:00:22,667
Hey, by the way,
Robert Goulet called.
4
00:00:22,734 --> 00:00:24,901
Uh-oh.
What?
5
00:00:24,968 --> 00:00:27,400
Dennis, let me offer you
a little piece of advice
6
00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:31,734
that'll help you as you travel
down the long road of life.
7
00:00:31,801 --> 00:00:34,601
Never buy a racehorse
with Robert Goulet.
8
00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:37,267
Thanks for
the tip, Yoda.
9
00:00:38,367 --> 00:00:40,701
Stupid horse has
his first race today
10
00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:42,901
and he's still
acting all crazy.
11
00:00:42,968 --> 00:00:46,267
The trainer couldn't even
get him out of the stable.
12
00:00:46,334 --> 00:00:50,400
Sometimes I wonder why
we ever bought Tax Dodge in the first place.
13
00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:56,567
Finch, I just got
Elliott's birthday present
14
00:00:56,634 --> 00:00:59,133
and I don't mind
saying I've really outdone myself.
15
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,200
No way.
Better than soap?
16
00:01:02,767 --> 00:01:05,133
That wasn't just soap.
That was soap of the month.
17
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,467
Yeah. Twelve timely reminders
that your gifts suck.
18
00:01:10,534 --> 00:01:13,367
Well, he is really
going to love this.
19
00:01:13,434 --> 00:01:15,367
I'll be the
judge of that.
20
00:01:15,434 --> 00:01:19,968
Well, check it out.
A video game system and five cartridges.
21
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,934
Mine!
Sorry!
22
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,801
Ninja's Whip.
23
00:01:24,868 --> 00:01:26,901
That's right,
the hot game.
24
00:01:26,968 --> 00:01:29,067
(IMITATES WHIP SNAPPING)
25
00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:32,000
Video games are kind
of my secret passion.
26
00:01:32,067 --> 00:01:35,400
Hmm, sounds like
your secret passion is Elliott.
27
00:01:35,467 --> 00:01:36,934
What? He is not.
28
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,400
Maya, any gift given
to a co-worker over $100
29
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:45,701
comes with the understanding
that the giver wants to "give it" to the givee.
30
00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:51,200
Well, I just got it for him
because it's fun.
31
00:01:51,267 --> 00:01:53,801
Hmm, you and fun.
32
00:01:53,868 --> 00:01:56,067
That's not tracking.
33
00:01:56,133 --> 00:01:59,667
Hey, I am not just
a straight-laced, uptight schoolmarm.
34
00:01:59,734 --> 00:02:02,467
I have a playful side.
I can get wild.
35
00:02:02,534 --> 00:02:04,000
Your top button's open.
36
00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:06,033
Yeah? Well, good.
37
00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:12,501
Remember,
the party's at noon sharp.
38
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,901
Oh, shoot.
I'm gonna be out on an interview.
39
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,400
Will you save me
a piece of cake?
40
00:02:16,467 --> 00:02:18,200
Piece of cake.
Thanks.
41
00:02:18,267 --> 00:02:20,367
No, I'm writing it down.
Oh.
42
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:22,934
Um, and by the way,
43
00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,167
would you mind...
44
00:02:25,234 --> 00:02:27,501
Should have never told you
I was a gift wrapper at Bloomies.
45
00:02:27,567 --> 00:02:28,567
(BLOWS KISS)
46
00:02:30,667 --> 00:02:35,167
Hey, Finch. Finch,
I got Elliott's present. Would you mind...
47
00:02:35,234 --> 00:02:37,701
Oh, yes.
What did you get him?
48
00:02:37,767 --> 00:02:39,434
I got a little nutty
this year.
49
00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:44,033
(CHUCKLES) So what is it?
A T-shirt with a tuxedo on it?
50
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:46,067
Or maybe...
Oh, my God!
51
00:02:48,100 --> 00:02:49,567
What is this stuff?
52
00:02:49,634 --> 00:02:52,634
It's called the
"Bachelor's Box of Sexessories."
53
00:02:52,701 --> 00:02:53,834
What do you think?
54
00:02:53,901 --> 00:02:55,868
Mmm, sexcellent!
55
00:02:57,334 --> 00:03:00,534
It's got love oils,
naughty videos, latex body parts,
56
00:03:00,601 --> 00:03:03,234
edible everything.
57
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:06,534
Very classy.
Where'd you get all this stuff?
58
00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:09,133
Uh, my uncle owns
a porno store.
59
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,667
What?
60
00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:12,100
Why didn't you tell me that
five years ago?
61
00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:16,334
You could've save me
a hundred thousand bucks.
62
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,200
Thanks for wrapping it.
I'll see you at the party.
63
00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:19,667
Yeah, yeah.
64
00:03:19,734 --> 00:03:22,834
Hey.
Switch the cards.
65
00:03:24,968 --> 00:03:27,534
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
It'll be hilarious.
66
00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,234
What are you
looking for?
67
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,000
Isn't there supposed to
be an angel over here?
68
00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:37,634
Are you
Dennis Finch?
69
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,133
Yes.
Then no!
70
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,367
Do it.
71
00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:42,968
(GIGGLES)
72
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,267
(GIGGLING)
73
00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:48,667
Splendid.
74
00:04:00,701 --> 00:04:02,467
Yeah,
raise the roof.
75
00:04:04,434 --> 00:04:06,367
Am I late?
76
00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:09,667
Hey, Jack.
Aw, thanks for your present. It was so thoughtful.
77
00:04:09,734 --> 00:04:14,634
Well, when I saw it,
I said to myself, "Wow, this is Elliott."
78
00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:17,167
What did I get him?
79
00:04:17,234 --> 00:04:19,033
A gift certificate.
Oh.
80
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:22,033
Well, don't spend it all
in one place.
81
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:23,701
Don't I have to?
82
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,400
Hey, open it.
Open it.
83
00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:32,234
Oh, what could
this be, huh?
84
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:36,501
Oh, vodka!
Thank you, Nina.
85
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:38,200
Open it, open it.
86
00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:44,267
Jack, you had a message.
Your horse kicked your trainer in the head.
87
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,601
Ah, yeah, he'll do that.
88
00:04:45,667 --> 00:04:47,701
Yeah, well,
the trainer just quit.
89
00:04:47,767 --> 00:04:50,534
What? He can't quit.
90
00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:53,267
Tax Dodge is
racing at 4:00 today.
91
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:56,234
Oh, well.
Hey, Elliott, open Persky's.
92
00:04:56,300 --> 00:04:59,701
"Let's buy a racehorse,"
Bob Goulet said.
93
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:03,601
"All champions
are high-strung," Bob Goulet said.
94
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,534
Well, come 4:00,
I'm putting a saddle on Bob Goulet.
95
00:05:06,601 --> 00:05:08,167
Let him run
around the track.
96
00:05:08,234 --> 00:05:10,801
Excuse me,
but what about the poor horse?
97
00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:14,200
Huh?
Well, what does the horse feel about all this?
98
00:05:14,267 --> 00:05:15,801
Hard to say.
99
00:05:15,868 --> 00:05:18,634
His diary has one of those
little locks on the front.
100
00:05:18,701 --> 00:05:22,167
Jack, your delightful
sarcasm aside, I grew up around horses,
101
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,534
and they're much more
like people than you think.
102
00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:28,100
They get nervous,
they feel rejection and they wear shoes.
103
00:05:28,167 --> 00:05:30,801
Now, this is
his big day.
104
00:05:30,868 --> 00:05:35,968
You need to
sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him.
105
00:05:36,033 --> 00:05:39,734
Dennis, take the
contents of Nina's purse down to the lab.
106
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,634
Oh! Oh, so it's me
who's crazy.
107
00:05:41,701 --> 00:05:44,701
You're the one who refuses
to talk to a horse.
108
00:05:46,534 --> 00:05:49,501
That's good stuff.
Okay, let's keep the party moving.
109
00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:50,567
This one's
from Persky.
110
00:05:50,634 --> 00:05:52,434
All right.
111
00:05:52,501 --> 00:05:56,033
"Hey, Elliott,
have fun, wild man." All right.
112
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,501
(BOTH EXCLAIMING)
113
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:04,067
A new video game.
Oh, this is great.
114
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:09,601
Okay.
Now open Maya's.
115
00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:20,734
"Bet you didn't expect
something like this from me. Love, Maya."
116
00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,400
Mmm, mysterious.
117
00:06:31,467 --> 00:06:32,934
What'd she get you?
Uh, nothing.
118
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,767
(STAMMERING) Socks.
Just some socks.
119
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:39,300
Socks? Cool.
What kind?
120
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:41,901
Tube socks.
Just plain old tube socks.
121
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,100
Tube socks.
I love it! Stripes?
122
00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:45,868
Sure, whatever.
123
00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:48,334
Hey, do they have
that extra padding in the heel?
124
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,734
Just back off, Jack.
They're just stupid socks!
125
00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,100
Make a note.
Elliott hates socks.
126
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,934
Hey, hey,
where's the party?
127
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,234
Huh? What?
Oh, it just ended.
128
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:07,501
Oh, rats.
I thought Finch told me 1:00.
129
00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:09,133
So, what'd you
think of my gift?
130
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,767
Oh. Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry, Persky.
131
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,834
Oh, it was great.
I was floored.
132
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,133
I thought you'd
get a kick out of it.
133
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,901
Yeah. Oh, I can't
wait to use it.
134
00:07:17,968 --> 00:07:19,801
All right! Well,
I want to hear all the details.
135
00:07:19,868 --> 00:07:21,100
Better yet,
why don't you come over
136
00:07:21,167 --> 00:07:24,000
and we could take it
for a little test drive, huh?
137
00:07:24,634 --> 00:07:25,701
What?
138
00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:27,767
Yeah. Maybe this weekend.
139
00:07:27,834 --> 00:07:29,367
You mean
with some girls, right?
140
00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:31,067
Of course not.
141
00:07:31,133 --> 00:07:33,968
I mean, who wants a
couple of girls watching us go at it, right?
142
00:07:36,234 --> 00:07:40,167
Just you and me,
and a little Mine Shaft Expedition, huh?
143
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,667
(STAMMERING) I think
you should know, I have a fiancee.
144
00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:47,100
Hey. Hey, you know,
I don't want to tell you how to live your life,
145
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:51,033
but you don't want to marry
somebody who won't let you have a little guy fun.
146
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,334
What are
you doing?
147
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,901
Sorting Jack's M&M's.
148
00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:05,834
He doesn't like the blue ones.
He says they're unnatural.
149
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:08,567
(PHONE RINGING)
150
00:08:09,601 --> 00:08:11,300
Jack Gallo's office.
151
00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,534
JACK ON INTERCOM:
Dennis, it's me.
152
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:14,868
Hey, Jack.
What's wrong?
153
00:08:14,934 --> 00:08:16,968
I'll tell you
what's wrong.
154
00:08:17,033 --> 00:08:20,067
My horse has gone
completely psycho.
155
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,567
Did you try
saying "whoa"?
156
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:22,901
(HORSE NEIGHING)
157
00:08:23,501 --> 00:08:25,167
(HORSE STOMPING)
158
00:08:25,234 --> 00:08:26,334
Whoa.
159
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,767
(HORSE NEIGHING)
160
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:31,767
Negative on the "whoa."
161
00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:34,968
Where the hell's that
crazy horse-freak, Nina?
162
00:08:35,033 --> 00:08:36,734
She's right here,
Jack.
163
00:08:36,801 --> 00:08:38,934
Oh, hi,
sweetheart.
164
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,467
Hey, if you're not
doing anything,
165
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:44,868
maybe you can come down
and take a look at Tax Dodge.
166
00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:46,734
He's dying to meet
his Auntie Nina.
167
00:08:46,801 --> 00:08:50,734
Oh, don't you
"Auntie Nina" me. Admit it, you need me.
168
00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,868
Fine, I admit it.
NINA: Admit it!
169
00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:55,634
I just did.
170
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:59,167
I know, maybe if
I just brush him a little, it'll...
171
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,334
(JACK EXCLAIMING)
172
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,133
(DIAL TONE DRONING)
173
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:05,834
Okay. Jack's dead.
I'm in charge now.
174
00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:09,000
Finch, I'm going.
175
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:11,300
There's a horse out
there who needs me.
176
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:14,400
Okay, you do that,
177
00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:17,701
but the rest of you keep
doing what you're doing.
178
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:31,601
Hey, Elliott.
179
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:33,300
Maya, what were
you thinking?
180
00:09:33,367 --> 00:09:35,601
I almost opened
your present in front of your father.
181
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:36,968
So?
182
00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:39,167
I mean, it could
have been really embarrassing.
183
00:09:39,234 --> 00:09:41,667
Why would he be embarrassed?
He loves that stuff.
184
00:09:41,734 --> 00:09:42,868
What?
185
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:45,300
He may be old,
but he's not dead.
186
00:09:46,133 --> 00:09:48,567
Oh, ha, ha, ha.
187
00:09:48,634 --> 00:09:50,501
What?
188
00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:52,901
All right, you got me.
All right, I am officially shocked.
189
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,300
Okay?
190
00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:56,534
Elliott, there is
part of my life that you don't know about.
191
00:09:56,601 --> 00:10:00,567
I like to have fun.
I'm not a straight-laced, uptight schoolmarm.
192
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:04,133
You're saying
you're into this stuff?
193
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,734
Well, I don't go
around announcing it, but it's sort of a
194
00:10:07,801 --> 00:10:10,767
guilty pleasure.
195
00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:13,200
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you come over tonight?
196
00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:16,200
I'll cook you dinner
and I'll take you on.
197
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,601
What?
198
00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:20,834
It's your birthday.
Let's get wild!
199
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:24,334
Let me...
Let me get this straight.
200
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,367
You want me to bring
the little bag of fun over tonight so we can...
201
00:10:28,434 --> 00:10:29,534
Play.
202
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,033
Unless you're busy.
203
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,133
No.
204
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,801
Great.
I'll see you at 8:00.
205
00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:38,234
Oh, and Elliott.
206
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,467
Yeah?
207
00:10:39,534 --> 00:10:41,067
Your ass is mine.
208
00:10:41,133 --> 00:10:42,434
(IMITATES WHIP SNAPPING)
209
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,133
Wasn't that fun?
210
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:49,367
Yes.
211
00:10:49,434 --> 00:10:51,167
Excellent work.
212
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,634
Now kill them all.
213
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,834
What are you
talking about?
214
00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:01,634
Sorry. Sorry.
Baby steps.
215
00:11:14,534 --> 00:11:15,901
Good horse!
216
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,167
Nice horse!
217
00:11:18,234 --> 00:11:19,834
(HORSE NEIGHING)
218
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:22,133
Jack.
219
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,033
Oh, you're here.
Don't go near that horse. He's dangerous.
220
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:27,267
No, no, Jack. It's okay.
There's something I never told you.
221
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:28,567
I find that hard
to believe.
222
00:11:28,634 --> 00:11:30,801
Well, there is.
223
00:11:30,868 --> 00:11:35,100
Back on the farm I discovered
at an early age that I had a gift.
224
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:39,000
I'm what they call
a horse calmer-downer.
225
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,133
Oh.
226
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:43,734
What?
227
00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:45,534
When the storm clouds
came rolling in,
228
00:11:45,601 --> 00:11:47,801
and the thunder clapped
its mighty roar,
229
00:11:47,868 --> 00:11:51,367
I would run out to
the stables and calm the horses down.
230
00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:53,701
Hence the name.
231
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:57,667
Well, there's a horse
who's gonna race in two hours. Do what you can.
232
00:11:57,734 --> 00:12:01,634
Well, I will. But we're
dealing with a sensitive, skittish creature.
233
00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:04,300
Would a horse
tranquilizer help?
234
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:06,968
It might,
but I need to focus.
235
00:12:07,033 --> 00:12:08,901
Just give me
some room.
236
00:12:21,267 --> 00:12:22,801
(SPUTTERS)
237
00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:33,634
I understand.
I'm here.
238
00:12:33,701 --> 00:12:34,801
What are you doing?
239
00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:36,033
(SHUSHING)
240
00:12:38,167 --> 00:12:41,567
I want you to go
to that painful place.
241
00:12:41,634 --> 00:12:44,033
I want you to
take me there.
242
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,200
I know, I know, I know,
I know. I'm scared, too.
243
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:52,534
Go back.
Go back and remember.
244
00:12:53,934 --> 00:12:57,400
Your practice times
stink and that's bad.
245
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:59,701
I mean, you keep this up,
you'll amount to nothing.
246
00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,801
I sometimes wish
I had never bought you.
247
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,601
I'm sorry for saying that,
but it's the truth, because you're bad.
248
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:08,167
You're a bad, bad, bad,
stupid, bad horse.
249
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:13,601
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault. Not your fault.
250
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:16,434
(WHISPERING) No. No.
It's not your fault.
251
00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:18,834
Not your fault.
It's okay.
252
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:24,200
Well, Jack,
your precious race is on.
253
00:13:25,467 --> 00:13:27,000
How do you know?
254
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,934
He spoke to me.
255
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,701
Well, if he told you
I ate one of his apples, he's a liar.
256
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,067
Good night, Elliott.
Hope you like your sex.
257
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:40,200
What?
258
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:42,701
Hope you like your socks.
What's wrong with you?
259
00:13:44,667 --> 00:13:47,367
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second?
260
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:49,100
Shoot.
261
00:13:49,167 --> 00:13:52,300
Take a look at
what Maya gave me for my birthday.
262
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,467
Oh, my God. Is this
some sort of gag?
263
00:13:57,534 --> 00:13:58,834
No, she says
it's for real.
264
00:13:58,901 --> 00:14:01,968
No, this leather thing.
Is it some sort of gag?
265
00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:08,200
Do you believe this?
From Maya?
266
00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,901
You know what, though,
I always sensed that she had a wild side.
267
00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:12,234
That's what she said.
268
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,434
She said that?
Yeah.
269
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:15,133
Wow.
270
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,434
That is scary.
271
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:17,801
It is?
272
00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:20,033
No, that thing
with the pump.
273
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,300
Here's the weirdest part.
274
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:28,200
She invited me over
tonight and she said to bring this stuff with me.
275
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:29,734
Come on.
You're messing with me.
276
00:14:29,801 --> 00:14:31,534
I'm dead serious.
Well, then, my God, you're in.
277
00:14:31,601 --> 00:14:33,167
I don't know
what to do.
278
00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:35,300
I mean, I've been friends
with her for two years.
279
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,501
She's my longest-lasting
female relationship
280
00:14:37,567 --> 00:14:40,501
and I think that's
because we haven't screwed it up with sex.
281
00:14:40,567 --> 00:14:43,033
You want my advice?
Yes, I want to know what you think.
282
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,567
Life is short.
Grab the brass ring.
283
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:51,133
Or in this case, that
stainless steel number.
284
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,767
Yeah,
maybe you're right.
285
00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,334
Good luck.
All right.
286
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,501
Hey, Persky.
What's up?
287
00:14:59,567 --> 00:15:01,968
Stop pressuring me.
I'm thinking about it!
288
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:11,501
He was always
such a nice horse.
289
00:15:11,567 --> 00:15:12,801
I don't know
what got into him.
290
00:15:12,868 --> 00:15:14,634
Liar!
What's that?
291
00:15:14,701 --> 00:15:18,434
The important thing
is that Nina here has worked her voodoo.
292
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:21,334
Oh, I'm just a simple
horse calmer-downer.
293
00:15:22,701 --> 00:15:24,467
That animal has
a good heart.
294
00:15:24,534 --> 00:15:27,968
Which is more than
I can say for a certain singing icon.
295
00:15:28,033 --> 00:15:31,067
Nina, it seems to me
that I have somehow insulted you.
296
00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:34,167
Perhaps I can rectify
that with a little song.
297
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,601
* Magic time
298
00:15:36,667 --> 00:15:38,467
(FANFARE)
299
00:15:38,534 --> 00:15:41,334
Well, looks like I owe
you one, little lady.
300
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,100
I'm not the one you owe.
301
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,200
(STARTING BELL RINGS)
302
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:45,901
COMMENTATOR: And away they go.
303
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:49,701
Danny's Addiction on the rail,
neck and neck with Hikeeba and Tax Dodge.
304
00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:54,801
Hikeeba now pulls ahead.
It's Hikeeba neck and neck with Tax Dodge.
305
00:15:54,868 --> 00:15:58,167
And Tax Dodge now making
his move on the outside.
306
00:15:58,234 --> 00:16:00,801
And Tax Dodge overtakes
Danny's Addiction.
307
00:16:00,868 --> 00:16:02,400
Yes! Tax Dodge!
308
00:16:02,467 --> 00:16:04,868
Tax Dodge neck and neck
with Hikeeba.
309
00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:06,334
Go,
Tax Dodge!
310
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,334
Nina,
you're a genius!
311
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,567
Oh, I forgot
I have binoculars.
312
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:11,801
Come on, baby.
313
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,133
And Tax Dodge takes the lead.
Come on, baby.
314
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,434
Tax Dodge pulling away
by a length.
315
00:16:15,501 --> 00:16:18,167
Wait a second.
This isn't my purse.
316
00:16:18,234 --> 00:16:21,968
COMMENTATOR: Heading into the
home stretch. And now it's Tax Dodge by two lengths,
317
00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:24,100
followed by Danny's Addiction
and Hikeeba. Oh, my God.
318
00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:26,267
He's doing it.
And coming to the wire.
319
00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:28,300
And it's Tax Dodge.
NINA: Yeah!
320
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:31,167
Yes!
Tax Dodge wins it by four lengths!
321
00:16:31,234 --> 00:16:33,067
Nina, you did it!
322
00:16:33,767 --> 00:16:35,167
Whoa!
323
00:16:35,234 --> 00:16:36,801
COMMENTATOR:
And he's still running!
324
00:16:36,868 --> 00:16:38,434
What the hell?
325
00:16:38,501 --> 00:16:40,133
He's running
faster.
326
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,934
COMMENTATOR: The jockey
can't seem to pull him up.
327
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,133
Oh, my God.
He's running on two legs!
328
00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:48,501
Has he done
this before?
329
00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:50,200
Not that I can
remember.
330
00:16:50,267 --> 00:16:53,734
COMMENTATOR: Holy cow,
Tax Dodge has jumped the rail
331
00:16:53,801 --> 00:16:57,367
and Tax Dodge
is going berserk. He's in the beer garden.
332
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,968
We might want to
cash these in real quick.
333
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,934
How's the chicken?
Good? Good. Good.
334
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,934
ELLIOTT: Look at her.
I can't believe how calm she is.
335
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,634
More wine?
Oh, no, thanks.
336
00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,467
What's the matter?
Afraid it'll affect your performance?
337
00:17:28,601 --> 00:17:30,200
Of course not.
338
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:33,968
How does she know
that about me?
339
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:39,501
Good, because I am gonna
spank you and I don't want to hear any excuses.
340
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:42,601
Oh, I should have let
someone know where I am.
341
00:17:43,868 --> 00:17:45,868
What's wrong?
You seem nervous.
342
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,167
Me? No.
343
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,968
Oh, I think I know
what's going on here.
344
00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:53,601
You're afraid
of being beaten by a woman.
345
00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:55,167
Well, a little.
346
00:17:55,234 --> 00:17:58,267
Don't worry.
I'll go easy on you. I might even let you win.
347
00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:00,701
What?
There'll be a winner?
348
00:18:00,767 --> 00:18:02,868
Yeah, I thought we'd
go best out of seven.
349
00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:04,200
Seven?
350
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,400
I have to warn you.
I can get pretty loud.
351
00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,367
My God, Maya's a freak.
352
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,234
Tell you what.
I'll be right back.
353
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,467
Why don't you
set everything up?
354
00:18:13,534 --> 00:18:15,267
Well,
where you going?
355
00:18:15,334 --> 00:18:17,701
Well, I have to get a
pillow to sit on, otherwise my butt falls asleep.
356
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:23,200
Her butt falls asleep?
How does she want to do this?
357
00:18:26,434 --> 00:18:30,434
Okay, I just have to
forget everything I ever thought about Maya.
358
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:32,601
Even though this is not
the way I would want it,
359
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:36,334
I'm just gonna make her
happy and go with the flow.
360
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:39,434
MAYA: Hey, Elliott,
ever play Torture Chamber?
361
00:18:39,501 --> 00:18:41,634
Say yes.
You'll sound cool.
362
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:44,000
Yes!
363
00:18:44,067 --> 00:18:46,534
MAYA: Oh, man,
I love video games!
364
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,334
What's that?
365
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,267
I love
video games.
366
00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:53,434
If they weren't so addictive,
I would have gotten one for myself.
367
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,367
Anyway, prepare
for humiliation!
368
00:19:01,434 --> 00:19:02,968
Halfway there.
369
00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,367
What are you doing?
Nothing's set up.
370
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:13,400
Oh, I have a headache.
I'm gonna go home.
371
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,501
Oh, no, don't leave.
Take an aspirin. I'll set up.
372
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:17,701
No! I probably should
go to the hospital.
373
00:19:24,968 --> 00:19:25,934
Finch, what are
you doing?
374
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,033
(YELLS)
375
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,200
You're behind this,
aren't you?
376
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:32,133
I don't know what
you're talking about. Look in the bag.
377
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,634
What's going on?
Look in the bag.
378
00:19:33,701 --> 00:19:35,868
What's in the bag?
Oh, fine.
379
00:19:35,934 --> 00:19:37,501
Finch obviously
switched your gift.
380
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,701
You thought
you gave me a video game.
381
00:19:39,767 --> 00:19:41,501
Well, I thought
you gave me this.
382
00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:42,767
(YELLS)
383
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,801
That better be a thermos.
384
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,033
Do you
believe this guy?
385
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:54,067
You came over here tonight
thinking we were gonna have a bagful of sex?
386
00:19:54,133 --> 00:19:55,701
(SQUEALING)
387
00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:59,133
Sometimes I wonder
why I do these things. This is why!
388
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,434
Finch, leave now!
389
00:20:03,501 --> 00:20:04,701
Fine.
390
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:06,634
I liked it better
in the hall anyway.
391
00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,634
Your neighbors are
actually having sex.
392
00:20:13,701 --> 00:20:15,434
(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, this is awkward.
393
00:20:15,501 --> 00:20:18,067
Yeah, I'd say.
394
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:19,667
How could you...
I thought it was what you wanted.
395
00:20:19,734 --> 00:20:21,267
Is it what you wanted?
I don't know.
396
00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:22,834
What? You have no
opinion on the subject?
397
00:20:22,901 --> 00:20:27,367
Well, I... I'm kind
of relieved you're not into this stuff.
398
00:20:27,434 --> 00:20:29,601
You're not,
right?
399
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:33,634
No. I've always
considered myself a romantic.
400
00:20:33,701 --> 00:20:37,934
I think you should
love someone before you beat and humiliate them.
401
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,767
Yeah, me, too. I mean, I...
I generally like things to be gentle and prop-free.
402
00:20:44,033 --> 00:20:46,567
Just the two people.
403
00:20:46,634 --> 00:20:49,067
I mean, you know,
whoever they are.
404
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:55,634
Well, thanks again for
dinner and for the real present. Thank you.
405
00:20:55,701 --> 00:20:57,434
It doesn't seem
so wild now.
406
00:20:57,501 --> 00:21:00,267
No, it was great.
Exactly what I wanted. Thanks.
407
00:21:01,033 --> 00:21:02,100
Hey,
408
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,334
you don't want to
keep these, do you?
409
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,200
No, thanks.
You can keep 'em.
410
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:10,100
ELLIOTT: Oh, man,
she thinks I'm a pig.
411
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:13,334
MAYA: God, I smell
so good. Why doesn't he just kiss me?
412
00:21:15,501 --> 00:21:17,133
Well, good night.
413
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,667
Good night.
414
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:28,834
What? I'm waiting
to share a cab with my friend.
415
00:21:28,901 --> 00:21:31,167
Just grab the sex toys
and run!
416
00:21:43,767 --> 00:21:47,067
My fiancee and I
have decided to put off the wedding.
417
00:21:51,133 --> 00:21:54,200
What?
We agreed I should get this out of my system
418
00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:58,601
or I'll never be happy.
So I'll see you tonight.
419
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:03,201
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