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1
00:00:02,658 --> 00:00:04,159
Jesus!
2
00:00:04,176 --> 00:00:06,177
Just the man I want to see.
3
00:00:06,199 --> 00:00:07,700
Damn, Lloyd, you back
on the street, man?
4
00:00:07,718 --> 00:00:09,829
What happened? You and Vic
had another roomie spat?
5
00:00:09,852 --> 00:00:11,883
Yeah, my ex-best friend kicked me out.
6
00:00:11,906 --> 00:00:13,540
I don't give a damn about him.
7
00:00:13,558 --> 00:00:15,380
I couldn't tell you how it was
living with that punk.
8
00:00:15,401 --> 00:00:16,583
He's a tyrant.
9
00:00:16,596 --> 00:00:18,831
Act like he's the mayor of something.
10
00:00:18,856 --> 00:00:20,189
"Lloyd, wash your ass, Lloyd.
11
00:00:20,205 --> 00:00:21,622
"Wash your ass, Lloyd.
12
00:00:21,638 --> 00:00:22,922
Ass. Ass. Ass."
13
00:00:22,937 --> 00:00:24,521
He was obsessed.
14
00:00:24,538 --> 00:00:26,506
I was like, "Damn, why you
worried about my ass?"
15
00:00:26,528 --> 00:00:28,812
'Cause your ass stink, Lloyd.
16
00:00:28,838 --> 00:00:30,672
Whatever.
17
00:00:30,693 --> 00:00:32,578
He gonna get what's coming to him.
18
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,079
Have a little food there, Jesus.
19
00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:37,297
Oh, thanks, Lloyd.
20
00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:39,688
Get as much as you want now, Jesus.
21
00:00:39,714 --> 00:00:42,883
Now... um, I want to talk
to you about my Christmas list.
22
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,836
Now, I've been very good.
23
00:00:45,868 --> 00:00:47,369
I've been... I'm talking about
I've been excellent.
24
00:00:47,386 --> 00:00:49,937
And I got a long list of things
that I want for Christmas.
25
00:00:49,965 --> 00:00:52,300
Thank you for the food, man,
but I've been telling folks
26
00:00:52,326 --> 00:00:54,194
to miss me with that
"I've been good" shit, man.
27
00:00:54,215 --> 00:00:57,016
Take it to that fat white
(bleep) down at the mall, brah.
28
00:00:57,047 --> 00:00:58,998
- But it's Christmas.
- Yeah, I know it's Christmas.
29
00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:00,354
It's my birthday.
30
00:01:00,369 --> 00:01:01,920
Why you got to get shit on my birthday?
31
00:01:01,938 --> 00:01:03,138
I don't get shit on yours, man.
32
00:01:03,152 --> 00:01:04,452
(bleep) out of here.
33
00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:05,667
Jesus!
34
00:01:05,681 --> 00:01:07,432
Come back here!
35
00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:10,151
You better learn what
Christmas is all about!
36
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:41,763
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
37
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,925
JESUS: Man, people always surprised
to hear how I hate Christmas,
38
00:01:44,952 --> 00:01:47,487
but they shouldn't be, 'cause
Christmas is some bullshit.
39
00:01:47,515 --> 00:01:48,915
It's supposed to be about giving,
40
00:01:48,931 --> 00:01:50,932
but every year the takers come out.
41
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:52,622
Case in point.
42
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:53,974
Jesus.
43
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:55,657
(laughs)
44
00:01:55,675 --> 00:01:57,343
I'm sorry, did I wake you? My bad.
45
00:01:57,362 --> 00:01:59,246
Early Christmas present.
46
00:01:59,267 --> 00:02:01,802
Happy birthday to the King of kings.
47
00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:03,164
(laughs)
48
00:02:03,179 --> 00:02:04,879
(chuckles)
49
00:02:09,418 --> 00:02:13,304
And there's more where that came from
50
00:02:13,346 --> 00:02:14,880
if you just come to my Christmas party.
51
00:02:14,898 --> 00:02:16,899
Man, you can keep this
little funky-ass weed, man.
52
00:02:16,921 --> 00:02:19,423
I told you I wasn't coming
to your party, Ms. Tudi.
53
00:02:19,451 --> 00:02:22,002
Jesus, baby, please, you got to come.
54
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,031
Because I've already
sent out invitations
55
00:02:24,054 --> 00:02:25,972
and-and e-mails with
your picture on it.
56
00:02:25,993 --> 00:02:28,027
- Merry Christmas, Ms. Tudi.
- Merry Christmas, baby.
57
00:02:28,050 --> 00:02:30,385
You always have me on some
exploitative shit, man.
58
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:31,962
Just like last year.
59
00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,680
Remember you set up
the little photo booth
60
00:02:33,699 --> 00:02:35,500
and charged people $20 a head?
61
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,688
- A dub a head!
- Right, right.
62
00:02:37,712 --> 00:02:39,246
- To take a picture with me.
- That was good!
63
00:02:39,264 --> 00:02:41,432
No, it wasn't good, man...
You had drunk (bleep)
64
00:02:41,456 --> 00:02:43,590
sitting on my lap, spilling
drink all on my garb.
65
00:02:43,614 --> 00:02:45,231
Smelling like yak all night;
66
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,250
is that how you want to be
treated for your birthday?
67
00:02:47,272 --> 00:02:49,096
MS. TUDI: All right, well,
listen here... this is different.
68
00:02:49,117 --> 00:02:50,928
Now, I got the best idea ever.
69
00:02:50,948 --> 00:02:52,816
Okay, check this out.
70
00:02:52,837 --> 00:02:56,339
A live nativity scene on my front lawn
71
00:02:56,378 --> 00:02:58,429
starring... you!
72
00:02:58,452 --> 00:03:00,403
Huh?! (laughs)
73
00:03:00,424 --> 00:03:02,309
You want me to be a lawn ornament?
74
00:03:02,331 --> 00:03:04,115
That's some bullshit, Ms. Tudi.
75
00:03:04,135 --> 00:03:05,635
You know what?
76
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:07,703
I'm thinking about Buddhism.
77
00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:09,175
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
78
00:03:14,757 --> 00:03:17,592
Well, well, well, if it ain't
the Australian con man.
79
00:03:17,623 --> 00:03:18,707
Merry Christmas, nigga.
80
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,721
Hey, Vic.
81
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,827
Did you really kick Lloyd out, man?
82
00:03:22,851 --> 00:03:24,185
On Christmas, brah?
83
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,867
Hell yeah, I did.
84
00:03:25,886 --> 00:03:27,220
He's a degenerate.
85
00:03:27,235 --> 00:03:29,119
A lowlife.
86
00:03:29,140 --> 00:03:31,925
Got a horrible work
ethic, just like you.
87
00:03:31,956 --> 00:03:33,674
You know, man, that's
some (bleep) up shit
88
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:35,443
- to tell a brother on his birthday, man.
- Birthday?
89
00:03:35,463 --> 00:03:37,047
That's right. Yeah.
90
00:03:37,065 --> 00:03:38,933
Well, I got some good news for you, man.
91
00:03:38,954 --> 00:03:41,205
- Gift straight from God.
- (chuckling): Wha...?
92
00:03:41,230 --> 00:03:43,448
Hey, Pops blessed you with a gift?
93
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,809
The Word?! Ah, man, that's
the gift that keep on giving.
94
00:03:46,845 --> 00:03:49,213
Come on, lay it on me, man,
come on, what'd he say?
95
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,623
He says, "Beware of false prophets
96
00:03:50,639 --> 00:03:52,640
"and those that would
disguise themselves
97
00:03:52,662 --> 00:03:54,663
"to be servants of righteousness.
98
00:03:54,685 --> 00:03:57,687
"Their end will correspond
with their deeds,
99
00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,056
"as they will be hurled into
a lake of burning sulfur
100
00:04:01,093 --> 00:04:05,513
to be tormented day in
and day out forever."
101
00:04:05,561 --> 00:04:07,595
Vic, man, I-I don't think
102
00:04:07,618 --> 00:04:09,369
that was supposed to be
taken literally, brah.
103
00:04:09,389 --> 00:04:12,775
In your case, you better
take it literally.
104
00:04:12,812 --> 00:04:15,147
You going to Hell, con man.
105
00:04:15,173 --> 00:04:16,506
In case you didn't know,
106
00:04:16,521 --> 00:04:19,005
that's a whole lot
hotter than Australia.
107
00:04:23,519 --> 00:04:25,585
Hater, man.
108
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,725
Man, everybody can miss me
109
00:04:28,747 --> 00:04:30,748
with this stupid-ass holiday bullshit.
110
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,104
Oh, man, here this nigga go again.
111
00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:34,664
Nah, man, seriously though.
112
00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:36,470
Whatever that is they
out there celebrating
113
00:04:36,491 --> 00:04:37,870
ain't got shit to do with me.
114
00:04:37,885 --> 00:04:41,638
FISH: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know,
Jesus... you hate Christmas.
115
00:04:41,679 --> 00:04:43,980
Everybody knows that you hate Christmas.
116
00:04:44,006 --> 00:04:45,506
Yeah, man, why you got to (bleep) it up
117
00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:46,807
for the rest of us, man?
118
00:04:46,822 --> 00:04:49,157
You want to be known as the
Jesus that ruined Christmas?
119
00:04:49,183 --> 00:04:50,817
FISH: Yeah, man, don't
be ruining our Christmas
120
00:04:50,835 --> 00:04:52,202
just 'cause you in a bad mood.
121
00:04:52,218 --> 00:04:53,852
So we gonna celebrate your birthday
122
00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:55,737
a little early this year.
123
00:04:55,758 --> 00:04:57,124
(chuckles)
124
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,965
(laughing): Oh, snap!
125
00:05:00,986 --> 00:05:03,071
Hey, y'all did this for me?
126
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,260
(laughs)
127
00:05:07,225 --> 00:05:09,226
Yeah, man, so cheer your ass up, man.
128
00:05:09,248 --> 00:05:10,748
We got you.
129
00:05:10,765 --> 00:05:12,149
Your homies got your back, man.
130
00:05:12,165 --> 00:05:14,065
Hey, things could be a lot worse.
131
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,532
(knocking on door)
132
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,416
Get the door, Jay.
133
00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:22,519
Hey, baby. (coughs)
134
00:05:22,535 --> 00:05:24,536
What's up?
135
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:25,976
Your mail.
136
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,325
I don't know why I'm still getting it...
137
00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:28,624
we haven't lived together in ages.
138
00:05:28,639 --> 00:05:30,223
Oh, thank you, baby.
139
00:05:30,241 --> 00:05:32,325
You ain't even have to do all that.
140
00:05:32,348 --> 00:05:34,349
Hey, Dianne.
141
00:05:34,372 --> 00:05:35,706
Want to come inside and kick it?
142
00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,388
Nah, I'm cool.
143
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,792
Ah. All right, well,
have fun "kicking it."
144
00:05:39,818 --> 00:05:41,852
(speaks in Spanish)
145
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,760
Have fun shooting people.
146
00:05:44,792 --> 00:05:46,577
Jay, you need to go with her, man.
147
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:47,730
It's your destiny, man.
148
00:05:47,743 --> 00:05:49,140
She want to spend Christmas with you.
149
00:05:49,156 --> 00:05:51,626
Nah, I'll just call her later.
150
00:05:53,257 --> 00:05:55,258
Hey, Jesus, what am I getting this year?
151
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,665
Nothing, man, your daddy's an
alcoholic and he lost his job.
152
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,975
Stop being so self-centered.
153
00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:01,575
(child sobs)
154
00:06:01,604 --> 00:06:03,605
Jesus, man, you shouldn't
do stuff like that.
155
00:06:03,627 --> 00:06:05,961
Nah, they don't care about
nothing but theyself, man.
156
00:06:05,987 --> 00:06:07,905
People are over Christmas now.
157
00:06:07,927 --> 00:06:10,145
You're not the only one who
hates your birthday, all right?
158
00:06:10,169 --> 00:06:12,170
You don't have a job,
you don't have no money,
159
00:06:12,193 --> 00:06:13,727
you can't go shopping.
160
00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:15,745
To be honest, we all
wish we could skip it.
161
00:06:15,768 --> 00:06:17,191
And I wish I could just skip being
162
00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:19,035
the Holy Redeemer
and the Heavenly Savior.
163
00:06:19,055 --> 00:06:20,772
All right, now you just talking crazy.
164
00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:22,910
Nah, man, I'm telling the truth, man.
165
00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:24,901
Sometimes I don't even want
to be Jesus no more.
166
00:06:24,924 --> 00:06:26,791
Here I am spreading the
goodness and the (bleep) light,
167
00:06:26,812 --> 00:06:28,229
you feel me? That's all I know.
168
00:06:28,245 --> 00:06:30,997
But all they know is
the Santa Claus bullshit.
169
00:06:31,027 --> 00:06:32,945
Hey, brah, I'm gonna
have to ask you to leave.
170
00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:34,184
Ah, here we go, man.
171
00:06:34,198 --> 00:06:35,531
Why you got to mess with me, man?
172
00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:38,081
Man, you are too agitated
and too black right now.
173
00:06:38,109 --> 00:06:40,444
And this outfit is offensive...
it's Christmas.
174
00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:42,971
You right... it is Christmas.
175
00:06:42,999 --> 00:06:44,583
It's my birthday!
176
00:06:44,601 --> 00:06:46,152
My (bleep) birthday!
177
00:06:46,169 --> 00:06:48,587
(bleep) all this
hyper-consumerism bullshit!
178
00:06:48,614 --> 00:06:50,398
This ain't what Christmas is about!
179
00:06:50,418 --> 00:06:52,386
It's about getting
your boy what he want!
180
00:06:52,408 --> 00:06:54,609
And what I want is peace
on (bleep) Earth!
181
00:06:54,634 --> 00:06:55,634
Donnie!
182
00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:57,480
We on top of this (bleep)!
183
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,135
- Donnie!
- Oh, yeah, bitch-ass Santa Claus.
184
00:07:00,164 --> 00:07:02,981
Hey, man, it's his birthday, man, oh!
185
00:07:07,786 --> 00:07:09,170
Donnie!
186
00:07:09,186 --> 00:07:11,069
(grunting)
187
00:07:15,373 --> 00:07:18,375
Jesus, are you okay?
188
00:07:18,408 --> 00:07:20,710
Quick, we need an ambulance!
189
00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:22,737
(echoing): Jesus! Jesus!
190
00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:24,509
Are you okay?
191
00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:27,013
(echoing): Are you okay? ...you okay?
192
00:07:28,913 --> 00:07:31,998
All right, so, how you feeling?
193
00:07:32,032 --> 00:07:33,950
That's a pretty nasty
bump you got there.
194
00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:35,473
But no concussions
195
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:36,740
or serious damage.
196
00:07:36,754 --> 00:07:37,921
What day is it?
197
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,770
Still Christmas Eve.
198
00:07:40,801 --> 00:07:42,218
Are my, are my friends here?
199
00:07:42,234 --> 00:07:44,769
You didn't come with any friends.
200
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,598
Look, I just need you to
fill out a few documents,
201
00:07:46,619 --> 00:07:47,952
and I'll have you on your way, Fred.
202
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:49,835
Wait...
203
00:07:49,856 --> 00:07:51,323
What you call me, brah?
204
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,958
Fred. Fred Bethlehem?
205
00:07:53,987 --> 00:07:56,489
At least, that's what's
on your driver's license.
206
00:07:56,516 --> 00:07:58,066
(scoffs)
207
00:07:58,084 --> 00:08:00,202
I don't have a driver's license, man.
208
00:08:00,226 --> 00:08:02,509
Somebody should've told this guy.
209
00:08:03,513 --> 00:08:05,314
Hmm.
210
00:08:05,335 --> 00:08:08,003
(laughing): You were
born on Christmas Day.
211
00:08:08,032 --> 00:08:09,366
That must suck!
212
00:08:09,381 --> 00:08:11,082
(sighs) Look,
213
00:08:11,102 --> 00:08:13,153
Doctor, somebody made a huge mistake.
214
00:08:13,176 --> 00:08:14,543
Man, that's not me, brah.
215
00:08:14,558 --> 00:08:16,642
L-Like I said, that's
a pretty nasty bump.
216
00:08:16,666 --> 00:08:18,968
But it'll all start
coming back to you soon...
217
00:08:18,993 --> 00:08:20,308
Fred.
218
00:08:22,112 --> 00:08:23,779
I got to get out of here.
219
00:08:23,798 --> 00:08:25,499
Hey, Pops, it's me, man.
220
00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:27,769
There's some strange shit
going on down here.
221
00:08:27,794 --> 00:08:29,791
And I really need you to holler
at me with the quickness.
222
00:08:29,814 --> 00:08:32,120
Until then, I'm just gonna
assume it was your divine hand
223
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,595
putting in work.
224
00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,613
In my resplendent and illustrious name,
225
00:08:35,635 --> 00:08:37,219
I pray, Pops.
226
00:08:37,237 --> 00:08:39,622
Amen, amen.
227
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,650
Oh, my bad, Lloyd.
228
00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:43,256
You good?
229
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:44,390
What the hell?
230
00:08:44,403 --> 00:08:45,570
Oh, Freddie, hey!
231
00:08:45,583 --> 00:08:47,417
What's going on, man?
232
00:08:47,438 --> 00:08:49,489
Listen, I'm just up here
enjoying the day,
233
00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:52,431
taking a nice little nap, man.
How you been, Freddie?
234
00:08:52,463 --> 00:08:54,613
Darby?
235
00:08:58,359 --> 00:08:59,600
No, I'm not cool!
236
00:08:59,614 --> 00:09:01,476
What is you doing out
here on the streets,
237
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,131
- looking like Lloyd?!
- Hold up, nigga.
238
00:09:03,149 --> 00:09:05,528
I might be dirty, nasty
239
00:09:05,555 --> 00:09:07,089
and drunker than a (bleep),
240
00:09:07,106 --> 00:09:08,822
but I damn sure don't
look like no Lloyd!
241
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:09,876
That's just mean.
242
00:09:09,889 --> 00:09:11,106
Hey, fellas, how's it going?
243
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:12,870
Hey, it's that doctor!
244
00:09:12,889 --> 00:09:15,341
I ain't no doctor.
That-that's my side hustle.
245
00:09:15,368 --> 00:09:16,418
This is my real job.
246
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,431
How's your head, Fred?
247
00:09:17,442 --> 00:09:19,059
Everything okay?
248
00:09:19,078 --> 00:09:21,079
(laughs): Oh, okay, I get it.
249
00:09:21,101 --> 00:09:22,652
You ain't no doctor, man. You a angel!
250
00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,954
You can't fool me, man.
251
00:09:24,979 --> 00:09:26,230
I know angels when I see them.
252
00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:28,462
Guilty! (laughs)
253
00:09:28,486 --> 00:09:29,770
Freddie, you-you okay, man?
254
00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:31,452
Brah, I told you, man.
255
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,439
My name ain't Freddie, man.
256
00:09:33,461 --> 00:09:35,245
It's Jesus H. Christ.
Come on, you know me, brah.
257
00:09:35,265 --> 00:09:36,515
Nigga, you on the pipe?
258
00:09:36,529 --> 00:09:39,281
Actually your name was Jesus H. Christ.
259
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,314
Now you're Freddie Bethlehem,
ordinary negro.
260
00:09:42,347 --> 00:09:43,898
Retired-foreign-league
261
00:09:43,915 --> 00:09:45,782
basketball-playing-looking (bleep).
262
00:09:45,803 --> 00:09:47,270
And look at your boy Jason.
263
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,038
Without Jesus in his life.
264
00:09:49,058 --> 00:09:50,725
Piece of shit, Bobby Brown
265
00:09:50,744 --> 00:09:53,363
reject-looking (bleep)... look at him!
266
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,943
He's given up. Nigga, you
know I can hear you?
267
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:57,171
All right, so look, man, you never
268
00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:58,402
did answer my question, man.
269
00:09:58,416 --> 00:09:59,500
This-this is all Pops
270
00:09:59,512 --> 00:10:00,712
trying to teach me some little
271
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:01,991
Christmas lesson or something, right?
272
00:10:02,006 --> 00:10:03,241
No, this is not Pops
273
00:10:03,255 --> 00:10:04,973
teaching you some type
of Christmas lesson.
274
00:10:04,992 --> 00:10:07,944
It's Pops granting you
your Christmas wish.
275
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:10,145
You're not Jesus anymore.
276
00:10:10,169 --> 00:10:13,838
(laughs)
277
00:10:13,878 --> 00:10:15,962
JESUS: You're (bleep) with me, right?
278
00:10:15,986 --> 00:10:17,704
I mean, Pops took away my divinity?
279
00:10:17,723 --> 00:10:19,724
Have you noticed how hard
it is to reach him now?
280
00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:22,281
Ordinary people can't reach God.
281
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,444
They need you. Ain't this a bitch?
282
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:26,417
(door creaks)
283
00:10:28,093 --> 00:10:30,511
Freddie, how many times I told you
284
00:10:30,538 --> 00:10:32,289
to stop loitering in
front of Compton Gardens,
285
00:10:32,308 --> 00:10:33,925
giving it a bad name?
286
00:10:33,944 --> 00:10:35,862
- Lloyd?!
- Jason!
287
00:10:35,883 --> 00:10:38,101
Get that dirty, funky box out of here!
288
00:10:38,126 --> 00:10:40,577
Package?
289
00:10:40,604 --> 00:10:43,523
And I told you stop throwing
packages over that gate.
290
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:44,721
Okay, I'm sorry.
291
00:10:44,735 --> 00:10:46,203
- You threw one last week.
- All right.
292
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,503
And this funky-ass nigga here got it.
293
00:10:47,517 --> 00:10:50,102
Lies! And I'm gonna sue your ass.
294
00:10:50,131 --> 00:10:51,465
Mr. Lloyd, I will see you
295
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,060
at the Compton Christmas
Celebration, right?
296
00:10:53,078 --> 00:10:54,332
Oh, yeah, I'll be there.
297
00:10:54,346 --> 00:10:57,064
(chuckling)
298
00:10:57,095 --> 00:10:59,380
ANGEL: Without you, Lloyd
stayed in the rat race.
299
00:10:59,405 --> 00:11:01,406
And as you can see, look!
300
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:04,397
He's just a bitter, angry (bleep).
301
00:11:04,430 --> 00:11:06,764
All right, ah.
302
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:08,624
Got more packages to deliver.
303
00:11:08,645 --> 00:11:11,016
Hey, wait, though... if-if-if
Lloyd running the complex,
304
00:11:11,042 --> 00:11:11,789
where Vic at?
305
00:11:11,798 --> 00:11:13,881
Vic's the mayor of Compton!
306
00:11:18,459 --> 00:11:19,876
(Lloyd grunts)
307
00:11:19,892 --> 00:11:21,725
(laughing)
308
00:11:26,383 --> 00:11:29,469
I got a special
Christmas gift for you...
309
00:11:29,503 --> 00:11:31,804
a bullet up your ass.
310
00:11:31,830 --> 00:11:33,980
(laughing)
311
00:11:36,214 --> 00:11:37,831
VIC: Tudi!
312
00:11:37,850 --> 00:11:39,317
What?
313
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,867
Where's that son of yours?
314
00:11:40,885 --> 00:11:42,636
I need to know quick.
315
00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:44,322
We got 40 minutes
to get down to the park
316
00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:46,058
and it's gonna take me 30
minutes to whip his ass
317
00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:47,112
- for what he did.
- You didn't say
318
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,374
nothing about no gun.
319
00:11:48,388 --> 00:11:50,222
- Now, why you got the gun?
- Come on, baby.
320
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,411
This is Compton. It's a lot
of crazy fools out there.
321
00:11:52,435 --> 00:11:54,186
Ain't you the mayor?
322
00:11:54,206 --> 00:11:55,923
Ain't that why you got
323
00:11:55,942 --> 00:11:58,143
all them bodyguards and Secret Service?
324
00:11:58,168 --> 00:11:59,502
I don't need them niggas.
325
00:11:59,517 --> 00:12:01,268
I'm the sheep dog.
326
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,122
The protector of the flock.
327
00:12:03,142 --> 00:12:05,360
- (laughing): The sheep...?!
- That's right.
328
00:12:05,385 --> 00:12:07,503
Hey, what's up, Moms? Sorry I'm late.
329
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,361
- Ooh, ooh.
- I had to go get my hair cut.
330
00:12:09,381 --> 00:12:11,154
- Uh-oh!
- I got a new outfit.
331
00:12:11,174 --> 00:12:13,493
And I got my nails done,
my feet done, new jewelry...
332
00:12:13,519 --> 00:12:15,396
Stop, Boon. Just stop it. Stop.
333
00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:19,120
Boonie, I was in your room earlier.
334
00:12:19,161 --> 00:12:22,163
And I found this.
335
00:12:22,196 --> 00:12:24,331
VIC: Oh, hell nah! Nah, nah.
336
00:12:24,355 --> 00:12:25,555
It's because of that bitch!
337
00:12:25,568 --> 00:12:28,286
No stepson of mine gonna be a druggie!
338
00:12:28,316 --> 00:12:31,435
- (Boonie screaming)
- (Ms. Tudi shouting)
339
00:12:31,470 --> 00:12:33,688
You big-ass bitch!
I'm gonna whip your ass!
340
00:12:33,713 --> 00:12:36,665
- That's why the nigga like you!
- Wish you had an ass!
341
00:12:36,697 --> 00:12:38,247
Come over here, bitch! Come here!
342
00:12:38,265 --> 00:12:39,382
(Boonie crying)
343
00:12:39,395 --> 00:12:41,363
Bad! No drugs, nigga!
344
00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,636
MS. TUDI: And you gavemy precious Boonie weed!
345
00:12:43,661 --> 00:12:46,329
I'm gonna beat your ass, bitch!
346
00:12:46,358 --> 00:12:48,142
See, it's the mayor house right here.
347
00:12:48,162 --> 00:12:50,714
Nah, man, this Ms. Tudi's hou...
348
00:12:50,743 --> 00:12:53,078
Vic and Ms. Tudi?
349
00:12:53,104 --> 00:12:55,438
Imagine that. Without you,
350
00:12:55,464 --> 00:12:57,132
Ms. Tudi never knew
the pleasures of weed.
351
00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,935
She became a alcoholic and married Vic.
352
00:12:59,966 --> 00:13:01,216
What?!
353
00:13:01,231 --> 00:13:03,282
Yep, and without you around to hate on,
354
00:13:03,305 --> 00:13:06,174
Vic had enough time and energy
to run for mayor and win.
355
00:13:06,205 --> 00:13:08,956
- (Boonie shouting)
- Is that... Dianne?
356
00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:11,622
Freddie?
357
00:13:11,651 --> 00:13:13,575
Damn it, Freddie, what the hell
are you doing here?
358
00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:14,790
I'm working!
359
00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:16,138
Hey, look, Dianne,
360
00:13:16,153 --> 00:13:18,204
I-I know this might
sound crazy as (bleep),
361
00:13:18,227 --> 00:13:20,311
but I'm not who you think I am, girl.
362
00:13:20,335 --> 00:13:22,920
DIANNE: Yes, you are, Freddie.
You're a loser.
363
00:13:22,948 --> 00:13:25,733
What's this? You hanging
out with bums, now? Huh?
364
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,015
I've had enough of this.
365
00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:28,413
This relationship is...
366
00:13:28,428 --> 00:13:29,628
(indistinct voice over earpiece)
367
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,276
Yes, sir. Okay, okay.
368
00:13:31,295 --> 00:13:32,295
(sighs)
369
00:13:32,306 --> 00:13:33,507
Some of us are working.
370
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,989
Merry Christmas, you asshole.
371
00:13:36,017 --> 00:13:38,101
Man, how you lose a woman like that?
372
00:13:38,124 --> 00:13:40,209
You know what I'd do to
have a woman like that?
373
00:13:40,232 --> 00:13:41,432
Oh!
374
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,614
Man, that is your woman!
375
00:13:43,638 --> 00:13:45,522
You ain't my daddy!
376
00:13:45,543 --> 00:13:47,210
Everybody, come on,
let's get cleaned up.
377
00:13:47,229 --> 00:13:48,680
I'm sorry. We gotta get down
378
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:51,165
to the park and talk to
the people of Compton.
379
00:13:51,192 --> 00:13:54,194
I'm-a finish whupping
your ass when I get back.
380
00:13:54,227 --> 00:13:56,428
I'll be your daddy then, nigga.
381
00:13:56,453 --> 00:13:59,288
Mayor! Over here!
Mayor, Mayor, over here!
382
00:13:59,319 --> 00:14:01,237
- Hey, get that camera out of here.
- Mayor, over here!
383
00:14:01,259 --> 00:14:02,676
- Come on, girl...
- I-I got it, I got it.
384
00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:04,526
Hey! Boon! Can I get one?
385
00:14:04,546 --> 00:14:05,963
What's up, Boon? It's me!
386
00:14:05,980 --> 00:14:07,948
- It's your boy, Jesus!
- Hey, (bleep) you, man.
387
00:14:07,970 --> 00:14:09,531
Maggie! What's up?
It's your boy, it's Jesus!
388
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:10,404
ANGEL: Mayor, look this way!
389
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,054
Right here! Come on, man, watch out.
390
00:14:13,365 --> 00:14:14,782
What's up, man?
391
00:14:14,798 --> 00:14:16,499
It's your boy!
392
00:14:16,518 --> 00:14:18,185
ANGEL: Mayor, let me get one!
393
00:14:18,204 --> 00:14:20,706
Are y'all just gonna push off old Jesus?
394
00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:22,350
Come on, it's...
395
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:25,857
Okay.
396
00:14:25,876 --> 00:14:27,544
A'ight, a'ight, dawg.
397
00:14:27,563 --> 00:14:29,731
Look, this is all getting
a little bit too weird.
398
00:14:29,755 --> 00:14:32,173
Okay, Pops, I'm good, I'm straight.
399
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,584
Tell Pops I got the message,
I understand, I'm straight.
400
00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:37,028
I don't want to not be
Jesus no more; I'm good.
401
00:14:37,055 --> 00:14:39,506
I can't help you, bruh.
402
00:14:42,317 --> 00:14:43,817
Fish...
403
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:45,418
Hey, you know this dude named Fish?
404
00:14:45,436 --> 00:14:47,737
Yeah. You talking 'bout
your homeboy Fish, right?
405
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:48,964
Yeah!
406
00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:50,477
Yeah, you know, the brown-skinned dude?
407
00:14:50,494 --> 00:14:52,462
- Thug nigga?
- Yes, yes!
408
00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:54,234
- I always liked Fish, man.
- Yeah...
409
00:14:54,254 --> 00:14:55,861
You know, he-he my kind
of dude right there.
410
00:14:55,879 --> 00:14:56,940
Uh, where he at, though?
411
00:14:56,953 --> 00:14:58,235
Oh, he dead.
412
00:14:59,229 --> 00:15:00,429
Yeah.
413
00:15:00,443 --> 00:15:02,494
Police kill him for selling burned DVDs.
414
00:15:02,517 --> 00:15:03,934
Mm-hmm.
415
00:15:03,950 --> 00:15:05,316
Shame.
416
00:15:06,513 --> 00:15:08,564
Wh... Wh... Where?
417
00:15:08,587 --> 00:15:11,238
Couple blocks up that way.
418
00:15:13,055 --> 00:15:14,872
Crazy nigga.
419
00:15:16,377 --> 00:15:19,129
Nah, Pops. Pops, come on, Pops.
420
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,412
I'm sorry I hated on
Christmas so hard, Pops.
421
00:15:22,447 --> 00:15:24,615
I'm sorry I s...
I said I didn't want to be
422
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,641
your Divine and Holy Son no more, Pops.
423
00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:29,196
(sobbing)
424
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:34,719
It's too late for Fish, Freddie.
425
00:15:34,757 --> 00:15:36,652
Jesus was the only one
426
00:15:36,673 --> 00:15:37,912
holding him down in these streets.
427
00:15:37,926 --> 00:15:39,710
And you better hurry up,
428
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,898
because Fish won't be the
only dead homie out here.
429
00:15:41,922 --> 00:15:44,007
Lloyd is planning on assassinating Vic
430
00:15:44,031 --> 00:15:46,115
at the Christmas in Compton celebration.
431
00:15:46,138 --> 00:15:48,022
Assassinate Vic?
432
00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:50,912
Without you, Lloyd became
a radical libertarian.
433
00:15:50,944 --> 00:15:52,111
He thinks Vic's a tyrant.
434
00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:54,508
(Lloyd chuckling maniacally)
435
00:15:54,535 --> 00:15:56,653
(bleep) is crazy.
436
00:15:56,676 --> 00:15:59,178
No, Pops, this can't be right.
437
00:15:59,206 --> 00:16:01,340
Pops, this ain't right, Pops!
438
00:16:01,364 --> 00:16:02,731
Come on, Pops.
439
00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:04,331
Come on, let's fix this, Pops,
440
00:16:04,349 --> 00:16:06,233
come on, Pops, send me a sign, Pops.
441
00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:07,421
This ain't real, man!
442
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,135
Oh, no, it's real, it's real.
443
00:16:09,154 --> 00:16:10,704
Here go your sign right here.
444
00:16:10,722 --> 00:16:13,007
You put it up there. Look.
Say "Freddie B."
445
00:16:13,032 --> 00:16:14,731
Mm-hmm.
446
00:16:18,429 --> 00:16:21,179
(chuckling)
447
00:16:23,571 --> 00:16:25,989
Now that's what I'm
talking 'bout, pimp?
448
00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:28,401
Thanks, Pops.
449
00:16:28,427 --> 00:16:29,627
Come on, Jay.
450
00:16:29,641 --> 00:16:31,058
(chuckling)
451
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,774
Hey, nigga, slow down.
452
00:16:34,498 --> 00:16:38,451
VIC: Welcome, and Merry Christmas.
453
00:16:38,494 --> 00:16:39,827
As we all know,
454
00:16:39,842 --> 00:16:42,427
Christmas is a time for happiness.
455
00:16:42,456 --> 00:16:43,623
Joy.
456
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,554
Family.
457
00:16:45,576 --> 00:16:48,544
And family is what I want to
talk to y'all about today.
458
00:16:48,576 --> 00:16:50,694
See, we have a scourge
in our neighborhoods
459
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:54,471
and that scourge is called marijuana.
460
00:16:54,512 --> 00:16:56,012
Why, I just caught my stepson
461
00:16:56,029 --> 00:16:57,580
smoking marijuana just this morning.
462
00:16:57,598 --> 00:16:58,882
Yeah, that's right, Boonie.
463
00:16:58,897 --> 00:17:00,814
You (bleep) up Christmas for everybody!
464
00:17:00,835 --> 00:17:04,922
That's why, henceforth,
as your mayor, I declare,
465
00:17:04,967 --> 00:17:08,519
okay, that in spite of the liberals
466
00:17:08,558 --> 00:17:11,844
and all these other hippies
running around talking shit,
467
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,548
smoking weed... and weed itself...
468
00:17:14,577 --> 00:17:19,464
will remain illegal in Compton forever.
469
00:17:19,518 --> 00:17:21,136
That's right, 'cause we
gonna have a clean Compton.
470
00:17:21,154 --> 00:17:22,988
A Compton where little babies
471
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:24,736
can breathe freely.
472
00:17:24,755 --> 00:17:26,781
A Compton where kids can walk to school
473
00:17:26,804 --> 00:17:28,937
without walking through
a cloud of smoke.
474
00:17:28,961 --> 00:17:30,328
We pushing for a new Compton!
475
00:17:30,343 --> 00:17:33,061
A Compton where niggas
remember they last name!
476
00:17:33,091 --> 00:17:35,459
Where we no longer have to spend
477
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,988
half our paychecks on chips
478
00:17:38,015 --> 00:17:40,099
from smoking weed
and gettin' the munchies.
479
00:17:40,123 --> 00:17:42,305
- We gonna move forward...
- Can't let the tyrant get away!
480
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,233
What the hell are you
doing here, Lloyd?!
481
00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:45,854
LLOYD: Sending your black ass home!
482
00:17:47,121 --> 00:17:49,456
(people shouting, screaming)
483
00:17:49,482 --> 00:17:51,648
Aah!
484
00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:57,096
MS. TUDI: No! No! Vic!
485
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,987
Hey, what the (bleep) are you doing?
486
00:17:59,008 --> 00:18:01,128
- Someone's coming, baby!
- I'm sending you home!
487
00:18:02,465 --> 00:18:04,132
MS. TUDI: Vic!
488
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,535
(screams, sobs)
489
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,502
MS. TUDI: Oh, my baby!
490
00:18:07,524 --> 00:18:09,692
- OFFICER: It's the Mayor and his wife!
- Babe! My baby!
491
00:18:09,716 --> 00:18:10,766
OFFICER: We need backup!
492
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:12,278
(echoing): Pops...
493
00:18:12,295 --> 00:18:14,580
Pops, Pops, please...
494
00:18:14,605 --> 00:18:16,239
MS. TUDI (sobbing): Baby...!
495
00:18:16,258 --> 00:18:17,958
(echoing): Please, Pops, I've had it...
496
00:18:17,977 --> 00:18:20,863
MAGGIE: Jesus! Are you okay?
497
00:18:20,895 --> 00:18:23,045
Jesus... are you okay?
498
00:18:25,649 --> 00:18:26,866
What day is it?
499
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,915
You're okay!
500
00:18:28,938 --> 00:18:30,438
It's Christmas Eve.
501
00:18:30,455 --> 00:18:31,956
You dating Boonie?
502
00:18:31,973 --> 00:18:33,640
Ew.
503
00:18:33,659 --> 00:18:34,993
No, I tried to give her some money,
504
00:18:35,008 --> 00:18:36,508
but she wouldn't go for it.
505
00:18:36,525 --> 00:18:39,527
It ain't too late. It's ain't too late!
506
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,061
It ain't too late! Hallelujah!
507
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,712
He did it, y'all!
508
00:18:42,731 --> 00:18:44,648
It ain't too late, you know, he did it.
509
00:18:44,669 --> 00:18:47,820
God delivered us from the most
(bleep) up Christmas ever!
510
00:18:48,632 --> 00:18:50,448
- Eh...
- Merry Christmas!
511
00:18:54,027 --> 00:18:55,895
JESUS: All right, so maybe
I need to chill out
512
00:18:55,916 --> 00:18:57,717
on Christmas, man.
513
00:18:57,738 --> 00:19:00,356
Problem is, we put way too
much on it, you know?
514
00:19:00,385 --> 00:19:02,136
Christmas is a time
to (bleep) with cake,
515
00:19:02,155 --> 00:19:03,956
love all your peeps, share your weed
516
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,811
and be thankful for your blessings.
517
00:19:05,831 --> 00:19:08,366
And get fat with people
you love. That's it.
518
00:19:08,394 --> 00:19:09,593
(laughter)
519
00:19:11,311 --> 00:19:14,263
Merry Christmas, buddy.
520
00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:18,049
Hey, man, why don't you come in
and have some Christmas dinner?
521
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,557
Really, Vic? Really.
522
00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:21,108
Oh, Vic...
523
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:23,092
Oh, you the man, Vic. (laughing)
524
00:19:23,114 --> 00:19:24,565
Thank you, Vic.
525
00:19:24,582 --> 00:19:26,132
You still stink, man.
526
00:19:26,149 --> 00:19:28,434
- I got some new Christmas soaps.
- Yeah.
527
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,960
- Smell like cinnamon.
- Okay.
528
00:19:29,977 --> 00:19:31,561
Everybody know cinnamon
529
00:19:31,579 --> 00:19:33,797
- smell better than ass.
- Thank you.
530
00:19:33,821 --> 00:19:36,356
JESUS: Oh, and it's a great excuse
for hard-headed (bleep) niggas
531
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:38,119
to squash that bullshit
they going through
532
00:19:38,138 --> 00:19:39,905
and just keep it moving.
533
00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:41,309
(Jesus laughs)
534
00:19:41,325 --> 00:19:43,943
Yeah, them, too.
535
00:19:43,972 --> 00:19:45,523
But at the end of it all,
536
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,624
what matters most is me:
537
00:19:47,648 --> 00:19:49,516
Jesus Christ.
538
00:19:49,537 --> 00:19:51,371
As much as I loved me before,
539
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,491
I love me even more now.
540
00:19:53,515 --> 00:19:55,973
And that's what Christmas is all about.
541
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,941
And (bleep) Santa Claus!
542
00:19:58,991 --> 00:20:03,541
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