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1
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(Tannoy) The train now standing
at Platform three is the 09:35 from...
2
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:06,300
(Sighing)
3
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:13,500
- Madeline!
- Augustus, l have such bad news.
4
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,700
- lt's poor darling Hilda.
- Hilda?
5
00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:20,300
- She's broken up with Woger.
- Woger?
6
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,500
l must be with her in her hour of need.
7
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,900
But l can't see your godmother
by myself.
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00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,500
- Suppose she doesn't approve of me?
- She'll love you, Augustus...
9
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,600
- 'Scuse me, sir.
- ..Just as l do.
10
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:36,900
- But l'll be all alone!
- Oh, my brave, my wonderful boy.
11
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000
ln you get, now.
12
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,600
Wait, Mad...
13
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,600
Madeline!
14
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,500
Oh, my goodness! The address!
15
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:30,100
- This club is really amazing, Jeeves.
- lndeed, sir.
16
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:34,500
Don't sound so soupy. You won't have
to lug that bag of clubs round.
17
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,600
- This is the whole works.
- l should not wish to be seen
18
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:40,700
carrying an illegal club
around Wentworth, sir.
19
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,900
Nothing in the rules says
one can't have an adjustable iron.
20
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,300
l press this button, click, it's a niblick,
click-click, it's a mashie niblick
21
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:54,900
- click-click-click, it's a mid-mashie...
- Yes, thank you, sir. Most ingenious.
22
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,200
All the way up to cleek.
23
00:02:57,300 --> 00:02:59,600
Rule No. 14-3, sir,
24
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:04,300
states that no player shall use any
artificial device or unusual equipment.
25
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:07,100
The rules committee
of the Royal and Ancient...
26
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,500
The rules committee of the Royal
and Ancient are yesterday's men.
27
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,400
- They must face the modern world.
- lf you say so, sir.
28
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:15,400
(Telephone)
29
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Mr Wooster's residence.
30
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,900
Good afternoon, Mrs Gregson.
31
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:30,500
No, l regret to say that Mr Wooster
is not at home, Mrs Gregson.
32
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,900
Certainly, Mrs Gregson.
33
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,400
Yes, Mrs Gregson.
34
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:42,400
That was Mrs Gregson, sir.
She desires us both to visit immediately.
35
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:46,400
- And l say yes, Bertie.
- But dash it, Aunt Agatha...
36
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:51,700
Please! Confine that sort of language
to the tap room where it belongs.
37
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,600
l don't know Gertrude Winkworth.
38
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:57,600
Her mother, Dame Daphne,
is one of my oldest and dearest friends.
39
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,700
There is good blood there, Bertie.
40
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:03,100
An injection of it
might fortify the jejune concoction
41
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:07,100
which seems to run through the veins
of the Woosters these days.
42
00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,700
by some quite unsuitable sort of actor
of all things.
43
00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,000
l said to her,
''She's just the girl for Bertie.''
44
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:27,100
That's another thing. lf this Gertrude
Winkworth and l should hit it off,
45
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,800
we'd be known by all and sundry
as Bertie and Gertie,
46
00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,900
- like some dashed music hall act.
- Don't be such a poltroon, Bertie.
47
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,500
- Get him down to Deverill Hall, Jeeves.
- Very good, Mrs Gregson.
48
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:52,500
Bertie! Bertie, Bertie, Bertie!
l've forgotten the address.
49
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,000
- Hello, Gussie. Whose address?
- l can't remember.
50
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:57,900
Dean something something.
51
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,700
Can't you telephone Madeline
to find out?
52
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,500
l don't know where Madeline is.
Well, l do.
53
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,500
The Larches, Wimbledon Common,
but l don't know the telephone number.
54
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,100
We can look it up.
What's the name of her friend?
55
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,600
Hilda...something.
56
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,300
- Pardon me, sir.
- Yes, Jeeves?
57
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,800
lf it is to Miss Bassett's godmother that
Mr Fink-Nottle must present himself,
58
00:05:20,900 --> 00:05:24,100
l think you'll find
that it is Dame Daphne Winkworth.
59
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,200
- That's it! That's it!
- How the dickens did you know that?
60
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:32,000
l heard Miss Bassett's father,
Sir Watkyn, mention
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00:05:32,100 --> 00:05:36,100
that Miss Madeline's godmothers
are Dame Daphne and Mrs Gregson.
62
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:40,400
He referred to them in a moment of grim
jocularity as Scylla and Charybdis.
63
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:45,500
This is the Dame Daphne Winkworth of
Deverill Hall we're under orders to see?
64
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,200
- lndeed, sir.
- There you are, Gussie.
65
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,300
You can travel with us tomorrow.
66
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,900
Oh, no...Madeline would expect me
to be there tonight.
67
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,800
Assert your independence, Gussie.
Anyway, how will she know you're not?
68
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,400
We could slide over to the Drones
for a snifter.
69
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,500
All right. Why shouldn't l?
70
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,300
l will.
71
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,000
Why should l do exactly what Madeline
tells me all the time?
72
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:16,800
- Spoken like a true Fink-Nottle, Gussie.
- l don't tell her what to do.
73
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,500
Usual for me, George.
How about you, Gussie?
74
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,500
- Orange juice, please.
- Gussie, you're a on a long leash.
75
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,300
- You'll drink champagne and like it.
- Oh, nearly!
76
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,800
- Catsmeat!
- What?
77
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:31,000
- Bertie.
- l haven't seen you in an age.
78
00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:34,100
Do you know Gussie Fink-Nottle?
Claude Potter-Pirbright.
79
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,000
- What are you up to?
- l start a new musical next week.
80
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,900
- Oh. Nice part?
- The usual:
81
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:42,900
bound on Act One clutching
a tennis racket and shout ''hello, girls,''
82
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,400
Act Two, fall in love with a parlour maid,
83
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:49,600
Act Three, find out she's Lady Penelope
incognito and live happily ever after.
84
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,600
- l don't think l've seen that one.
- What about you? Busy?
85
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,700
Yes. Gussie and l are going
to Deverill Hall tomorrow.
86
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,800
- Do you know them, the Winkworths?
- You trying to be funny?
87
00:06:59,900 --> 00:07:01,800
l'm engaged to Gertrude.
88
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:05,000
- Gertrude? As in Winkworth?
- Of course.
89
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:07,000
- Oh.
- What do you mean, ''Oh''?
90
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:10,100
- She's wonderful, Bertie.
- (Man) Can we have the ball?
91
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,900
- Yes, well, that's good, isn't it?
- No, it's not good.
92
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,000
When we got engaged
and broke the news to her mother,
93
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:19,700
she let out a yell
you could have heard in St Neots.
94
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:22,900
- St Neots being...?
- About 20 miles as the crow flies.
95
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,500
- A goodish distance.
- l haven't seen Gertrude since.
96
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:31,700
l'm trying to pluck up the courage to go
down and persuade her to elope with me.
97
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,700
- Oh! What's her mother like?
- Dame Daphne?
98
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,300
Light-heavyweight, touch
of Wallace Beery about the jaw line.
99
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:44,200
- Gussie's engaged to her goddaughter.
- l'm going to get her blessing.
100
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,600
- Well, l wish you luck with the aunts.
- Aunts?
101
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:51,100
Dame Daphne's got about 43 sisters
living with her
102
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,800
and they let out yells too.
103
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:57,300
- Oh, dear...
- Why not take Catsmeat out to dinner?
104
00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:02,300
He doesn't eat much and he can enwisen
you re these aunts over the pottage.
105
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,200
Owzat!
106
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,000
Ah, Jeeves, a slight complication
has arisen about the Winkworth girl
107
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:16,400
- Aunt Agatha wants to pair me with.
- lndeed, sir?
108
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:20,600
The actor Dame Daphne wants to head
off is Catsmeat Potter-Pirbright.
109
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:23,700
Catsmeat is barmy about her apparently.
The girl, that is.
110
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:26,300
That would put you
into an ambiguous situation
111
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,600
in regard to your friendship
with Mr Potter-Pirbright, sir.
112
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:32,300
Ambiguous is right.
There's nothing for it.
113
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,800
l shall have to throttle back
on the charm.
114
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:38,000
l don't want to leave Catsmeat standing
at the post.
115
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:41,700
lt would seem to be a danger, sir.
Will that be all, sir?
116
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:45,300
- Yes, Jeeves, that'll be all. Yes.
- Thank you, sir.
117
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,800
(Woman) l hunt with the East Sussex
of course,
118
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:55,500
but Roger said he felt a certain
obligation to support the Mid-Hants.
119
00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,400
The consequence was l never saw
the little blighter at all, during the winter.
120
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:02,500
- My poor Hilda.
- Any old how,
121
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,800
l issued an ultimatum, l'm afraid.
122
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:08,900
''Look here, Roger, '' l said,
''either it's the Mid-Hants or it's me.
123
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,800
- Take your choice.''
- Oh, Hilda, you're so courageous.
124
00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:17,100
Yes, well, l've not seen him since
and that was six weeks ago.
125
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,300
Oh, it isn't fair, is it?
126
00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:26,300
l'm so lucky to have a man
like Augustus - strong, reliable...
127
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,200
What happened to that other blighter
you were keen on,
128
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:31,800
- that Bertie Wooster?
- Oh, poor Bertie.
129
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,900
He's still wildly in love with me of course,
130
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,900
but l had to tell him that there could
never be anything between us.
131
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,500
My heart belongs to Augustus, you see.
132
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:46,200
Of course, if Augustus and l
were ever to break up...
133
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,200
- Oh...
- (Sighing)
134
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,700
- l told you!
- Come on, then.
135
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,400
l'm pretty handy with my fists, you know.
136
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,000
- Come on, Gussie.
- No! Let me get at him!
137
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:04,100
No. We'll go to The Blue Havoc.
They'll let us in there.
138
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,300
Let me get at him!
139
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:10,900
(Catsmeat) lt was five in the morning
and we were in Trafalgar Square.
140
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:15,100
Gussie thought there might be newts in
the fountain and started wading about.
141
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,900
You can't go wading
in Trafalgar Square fountain.
142
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,100
- Gussie did.
- Lucky he wasn't pinched.
143
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:23,200
He was!
A cop came along and gaffed him.
144
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,900
He was given 14 days without the option
at Bosher Street Police Court.
145
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:29,200
- Do you know what, Jeeves?
- No, sir.
146
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,300
Gussie Fink-Nottle's in stir.
147
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,700
Gussie Fink-Nottle's in stir!
148
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,000
You see the ghastly position, Jeeves?
149
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:42,500
What will happen when Gussie doesn't
turn up? Madeline will enquire.
150
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,200
You know how women are
for digging out the truth.
151
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:49,200
Nothing puts a girl off more than hearing
a fellow is doing 14 days in chokey.
152
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,300
A very acute observation, sir.
153
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,000
(Wooster) There can be but one result:
Gussie will get the bum's rush
154
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,900
and the figure shambling
down the aisle with Madeline
155
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,800
while the organ plays
The Voice That Breathed O'er Eden
156
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,700
- will be Bertram Wilberforce Wooster.
- l don't see why.
157
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:07,500
Madeline Bassett believes
l'm madly in love with her.
158
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,500
When a girl thinks you love her
159
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,100
and says she's leaving her betrothed
and is ready to sign up with you,
160
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,100
what can you do except marry her?
One has to be civil.
161
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,400
Ahem.
There is one possible solution, sir.
162
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:25,600
You see? ''There is
one possible solution, sir,'' just like that.
163
00:11:25,700 --> 00:11:29,100
Catsmeat, Jeeves takes a size 14 hat,
eats tons of fish
164
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,000
and moves in mysterious ways his
wonders to perform. Speak, Jeeves.
165
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,500
Well, sir to obviate the enquiries
which would be set on foot
166
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:41,000
should Mr Fink-Nottle not present
himself at Deverill Hall this evening,
167
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:46,800
it is essential for a substitute, purporting
to be Mr Fink-Nottle to take his place.
168
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:50,500
You're not suggesting that l check in
at this plague pit as Gussie?
169
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,300
Unless you persuade
one of your friends to do so, sir.
170
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:58,100
You can't go round asking people
to pretend to be Gussie Fink-Nottle.
171
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,100
Well, you can, l suppose,
but what a hell of a life.
172
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,900
Besides, there isn't even... Catsmeat!
173
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,200
Not on. They all know me at Deverill.
174
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:10,200
Well, l can't do it.
l can't even do an imitation of Gussie.
175
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,700
You'll pardon me
for pointing this out, sir,
176
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,300
but the virtue of the plan
is that there is no need
177
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,100
to approximate the look or manner
of Mr Fink-Nottle.
178
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,900
Nobody at Deverill Hall
has ever seen him.
179
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,200
Yes, but dash it all, Jeeves,
they must have heard about him.
180
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,000
Let's face it, if Gussie's brain were silk,
181
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:30,900
he'd be hard-put to find material
to make a canary a pair of camiknickers.
182
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:36,100
Five minutes' conversation with me
and they would penetrate the deception.
183
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:41,600
l'm sure that your undoubted thespian
powers will see you through the day, sir.
184
00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:45,000
(Sighing) Jeeves,
what are we letting ourselves in for?
185
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:48,700
l regret that l shall not be able
to accompany you, sir.
186
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,800
Not be...? Why on earth not, Jeeves?
187
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:55,600
l'm sorry, sir. The Ganymede Club
would not look kindly
188
00:12:55,700 --> 00:13:00,500
on a gentleman's gentleman sailing,
as it were, under false colours.
189
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,100
- Mr Fink-Nottle, sir?
- No.
190
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,900
Oh, that's to say yes. Fink-Nottle, yes.
191
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,300
l'd better dress.
l don't want to be late for dinner.
192
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:38,700
Dinner has already commenced, sir.
We dine at 7:30 punctually.
193
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,800
- Ah, so straight in and join the fray.
- Such were Dame Daphne's instructions.
194
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:44,800
Lead on, then.
195
00:13:47,900 --> 00:13:50,700
Mr Fink-Nottle has arrived,
Dame Daphne.
196
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,700
Oh, good.
197
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:56,600
Oh. (Laughing) Fink-Nottle. Sorry.
Dottle. Fink-Nottle.
198
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,900
Mr Fink-Nottle, you're very late.
199
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,600
You'll have to forgo the soup
and the fish.
200
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,700
Oh, consider them forwent.
Shall l sit here?
201
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:07,600
Well, this is jolly.
202
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,000
Allow me to introduce my sisters.
203
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:17,100
Miss Emmeline Deverill,
Miss Myrtle, Deverill,
204
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:22,000
Miss Harriet Deverill
and Miss Charlotte Deverill.
205
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:25,300
All the little Deverills, eh? (Chuckling)
206
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,200
l'm Gussie Fink-Nottle,
noted newt fancier.
207
00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:31,400
- What did he say?
- He said he's a newt fancier.
208
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:36,500
- ls that why he's so late?
- This is my daughter, Gertrude.
209
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,600
The nephew of a friend of mine
is meant to be here.
210
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,100
l wonder if you know him, a Mr Wooster?
211
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:54,700
Bertie Wooster? Oh, yes. l've not actually
had the pleasure, but l've heard of him.
212
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:58,400
- That's how l know his name.
- Apparently he's irresponsible.
213
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,700
Agatha says she wonders if the kindest
thing would be to put him in a home.
214
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,500
Well, if that isn't just...
215
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,100
Yes, but um...l wonder,
have you heard the one about the, er...
216
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,500
the fan dancer and the performing flea?
217
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,200
Ah...no. Actually, here's a better one.
218
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:20,300
Yes. There are these three deaf chaps
on a train and it stops at Wembley.
219
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,600
- What's he doing?
- Mr Fink-Nottle is telling an anecdote.
220
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:28,300
Anyway, there it is at Wembley,
and one chap says, ''ls this Wembley?''
221
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,200
- The other says, ''No, it's Thursday.''
- What did he say?
222
00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:36,400
- He said, ''No, it's Thursday.''
- No, it's not. lt's Friday.
223
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:40,500
- l know. l changed my library book.
- lt's a joke, Charlotte.
224
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:45,500
Thank you. The third one says,
''So am l. Let's go and have a drink.''
225
00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:50,500
- lt's a joke about drink, Charlotte.
- No, it's not about drink. lt's about...
226
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,900
Why did the first man bring up
the days of the week?
227
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:57,600
No, the first man is the one who says,
''ls this Wimbledon?''
228
00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:00,000
- No...
- That was the second man.
229
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:03,700
Let Mr Fink-Nottle finish his joke
before we judge it.
230
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,700
- Well, that was it actually.
- ls it about tennis, perhaps?
231
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,300
l don't care for jokes about tennis.
232
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:16,700
- Some jokes about tennis...
- No, l just cannot...
233
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,200
(All talk at once)
234
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,900
- Good lord, Jeeves!
- Good evening, sir.
235
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:46,700
- What on earth are you doing here?
- l am performing my customary office
236
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,200
- in attending Mr Wooster.
- But...
237
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,200
Gussie?
238
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:55,900
- You're meant to be in court.
- Allow me to help you, Mr Wooster.
239
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,900
What? Oh, yes.
240
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,100
- Wooster?
- You must be Mr Wooster.
241
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:04,300
- (Both) Yes.
- l beg your pardon?
242
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,000
No, no, not me.
No, l'm...l'm Fink-Nottle, you know,
243
00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,500
the newt man. (Laughing)
244
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:37,100
- Good morning, sir.
- Never mind good morning.
245
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,500
- How did Gussie get out of stir?
- The magistrate decided
246
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,600
to substitute a fine
for the prison sentence, sir.
247
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,800
l was unable to inform you as it
happened when you were on your way.
248
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:52,000
So Gussie is freed from durance vile
and you bring him to Deverill Hall?
249
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:54,100
- Yes, sir.
- Why?
250
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,500
lt seemed the best course of action.
251
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,700
ln the event
of either of you failing to arrive,
252
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:04,500
enquiries would have been instituted
by either Mrs Gregson or Miss Bassett
253
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,300
with disastrous results.
254
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,800
To point out just one aspect, sir,
255
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:12,500
Miss Bassett is expecting daily letters
from Mr Fink-Nottle
256
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,000
describing in detail his life here.
257
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:18,300
l hadn't thought of that.
So, l'm Gussie and Gussie's me?
258
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,500
- Yes, sir.
- Ceaseless vigilance will be required
259
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,500
if we're not to gum up the game.
260
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,700
- We shall be walking on eggshells.
- A very trenchant metaphor, sir.
261
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,500
What ho, Gussie, or rather Bertie?
262
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:40,400
- This is a pretty state of things.
- Better than being in clink though.
263
00:18:40,500 --> 00:18:43,500
ln prison, you don't have
people calling you Mr Wooster.
264
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,700
How do you suppose l feel
knowing everybody thinks you're me?
265
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,400
- Shouldn't you prefer it?
- Prefer it? Are you mad?
266
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,500
How do you think l feel?
267
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,700
Do you realise
that the world of Deverill believes
268
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,100
Bertram Wooster
is an oversized gargoyle
269
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,300
who looks like Lester the Pester
in an American comic strip?
270
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,500
ln case you are under any illusion,
271
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,700
those aunts pulled their skirts aside
when l said l was Bertie Wooster
272
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:10,900
and, as if that wasn't bad enough,
you seem to have made my name mud,
273
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,800
something about trains and Wimbledon
and an unseemly anecdote.
274
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:19,100
What will happen if they tell Madeline
l tell unseemly anecdotes?
275
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,700
- l advise stout denial, and in any case...
- Mr Wooster...
276
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:26,500
- Mr Fink-Nottle.
- Ah. What ho, Dame Daphne?
277
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,100
Gertrude is on the terrace, Mr Wooster.
278
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:32,300
Well?
279
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,600
l thought perhaps
you might want to talk to her.
280
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,300
- What about?
- Excuse us a moment, would you?
281
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,300
Gussie, l'm meant to be wooing
Gertrude Winkworth.
282
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,400
- Wooing?
- Wooing, courting, pressing one's suit.
283
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,900
- Dallying with.
- l'm not going to do that.
284
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,700
You have to, Gussie,
because you're meant to be me.
285
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,600
Do your own dirty work.
Suppose Madeline found out?
286
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:59,100
Madeline won't find out.
She's in Wimbledon.
287
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:04,000
Yes, Bertie thinks he might totter out and
have a word with Gertrude, don't you?
288
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:07,200
- No!
- l'm sure she'd be pleased to see you.
289
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,000
Yes, almost as pleased as l shall be
to see Madeline.
290
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:13,500
- Yes, l've got so much to tell her.
- Well, you can...
291
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:16,300
Oh, very well.
292
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:22,300
What a charming fellow
that Bertie Wooster is!
293
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,200
He could charm the skin
off a rice pudding.
294
00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:29,800
- He seems very confused.
- Confused? Bertie Wooster? Never.
295
00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:33,000
No. One of the keenest minds
of his generation.
296
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,300
- Hello.
- Hello, Mr Wooster.
297
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,700
l'm Bertie Wooster.
298
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,900
- Lovely morning, isn't it, Mr Wooster?
- What is?
299
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000
The morning. The weather.
300
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:48,500
Oh.
301
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:52,200
Do you like newts?
302
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:54,600
- Newts?
- l've got...
303
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,800
Gussie Fink-Nottle's got lots of newts.
304
00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,400
l really envy him.
305
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:04,600
lt must be really fulfilling
to have that many newts.
306
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:07,700
- Morning, Mr Purdey.
- Morning, madam.
307
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,200
There you are, then.
308
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:20,500
No letter from Augustus, Hilda.
309
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,700
l do wish he'd write.
310
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,100
l say, Bertie, what a charming girl!
311
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,600
- What? Who?
- That Gertrude, Gertrude Winkworth.
312
00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:33,800
- ls she?
- She wants me to sing tomorrow night.
313
00:21:33,900 --> 00:21:36,500
- Sing?
- She heard from your Aunt Agatha
314
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,400
what an expert you are
on modern dance music,
315
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:44,100
and as she thought l was you, she said
l could entertain everyone after dinner.
316
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,400
- Can you sing, Gussie?
- Probably.
317
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:50,300
- What do you mean, ''Probably''?
- Well, l haven't tried yet, have l?
318
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:53,900
l thought you could teach me
a couple of those songs.
319
00:21:56,100 --> 00:22:00,100
- Do you play the piano, Gussie?
- Yes. l'm better at the oboe.
320
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:03,700
Really? No, l think the piano's
a more usual sort of thing.
321
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,700
Now, this is a good one, yes.
322
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,700
Shall l play it, give you the idea,
then you have a go.
323
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,900
- All right.
- Right. One, two, three, four.
324
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,800
( Chirpy marching tune)
325
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,900
Some people make a fuss
326
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,900
When a thing goes wrong
327
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,900
Some stop and swear and cuss
328
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,700
Others sing a song
329
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,800
l don't do either
330
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:27,700
That's all napoo
331
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,200
When a thing goes wrong with me,
332
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,000
This is what l do
333
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:35,700
l lift up my finger and l say,
''Tweet-tweet,
334
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,700
''Shush-shush, now-now, come-come''
335
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,300
l don't need to linger when l say,
''Tweet-tweet, shush-shush...''
336
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,500
Stop! Are you mad?!
337
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,200
Do you think l'm going to stand
in front of people
338
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:51,900
and sing tweet-tweet, ha-ha, hee-hee?
339
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,300
- No, the second one's shush-shush.
- What does it all mean?
340
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,700
lt's the absolute dernier cri, Gussie.
341
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,400
As cries go,
this is as dernier as you can get.
342
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:05,500
- lt's absolute gibberish!
- Well, if you want intellectual content...
343
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,300
Ah, this is the one. Right, here we go.
344
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,400
How do you feel
when you marry your ideal?
345
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:22,900
Ever so goosie-goosie-goosie goo-sie
346
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,800
How do you feel
when the bells begin to peal?
347
00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:32,000
Ever so goosie-goosie-goosie goo-sie
348
00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:36,900
Walking up the aisle in a kind of daze
349
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,700
Do you get the wind up
when the organ plays?
350
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,500
How do you feel
when the parson's done the deal?
351
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,500
Ever so goosie-goosie-goosie
goo-sie
352
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:53,700
Oh, l like that. That's very good!
Let me have a go.
353
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,500
- Gertrude will love this.
- She'd have to have a heart of stone...
354
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,000
What do you mean,
''Gertrude will love this''?
355
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:04,800
She's the one who wanted me to play.
Madeline never wanted me to play.
356
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:07,100
Madeline doesn't think you're me.
357
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:12,000
Don't you sometimes feel that Madeline's
a bit, well, soppy, Bertie?
358
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,200
Madeline? Soppy?
359
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:18,700
All that business about bunny rabbits
and the stars being God's daisy chain.
360
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,200
No, no-no-no-no. Madeline's beliefs
are out of the ordinary,
361
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,300
but sound, Gussie, extremely sound.
362
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:27,300
l think it would be a mistake
to think of her as soppy.
363
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,200
Well, let's get on with this.
364
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,700
Ah, Jeeves, sorry to disturb you
in your lair.
365
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,900
Not at all, sir.
366
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,200
l don't like the way things are going.
367
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:40,800
Fink-Nottle appears to be besotted
by this Gertrude female.
368
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:44,700
- l feared that this might be the case, sir.
- lt's only to be expected.
369
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,200
The impact of a girl like Gertrude
in spring on a fathead like Gussie,
370
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:52,700
weakened by swilling orange juice,
must be terrific.
371
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,400
- What are we going to do, Jeeves?
- l've taken the liberty, sir,
372
00:24:56,500 --> 00:25:00,300
of arranging a three-ball this afternoon
between Miss Winkworth,
373
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:03,600
- Mr Fink-Nottle and yourself.
- Golf? At a time like this?
374
00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:05,900
With Gussie? He's a terrible golfer.
375
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,700
Gertrude takes golf seriously.
She plays off six.
376
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,100
- Such is my understanding, sir.
- She'll see his abysmal putting
377
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:18,600
and his laughable game off the tee and
cast him aside like a spilt beverage.
378
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:23,100
Jeeves, how could l ever doubt you?
379
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:25,200
l could not say, sir.
380
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:36,600
Psst!
381
00:25:39,500 --> 00:25:41,100
Psst!
382
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:48,400
Claude! Well, just where have you been,
Mr Potter-Pirbright?
383
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,400
Me? Well, after that row
with your mother...
384
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:54,900
That was three weeks ago!
You haven't telephoned...
385
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,700
Anyway, l'm here now, and l've decided
386
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,700
l want you to elope with me.
387
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,600
Oh, do you just?
Good of you to let me know.
388
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:06,700
Well, you can just jolly well
go back to London and...
389
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:11,300
- Catsmeat?
- Shh!
390
00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:15,000
- l'm in disguise.
- Pathetic, isn't it?
391
00:26:15,100 --> 00:26:17,600
That face fungus?
lt wouldn't fool a parrot.
392
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,300
- l'm your man.
- What do you mean, you're my man?
393
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:25,200
Your valet. lt's the ideal way for me
to come and see Gertrude incognito.
394
00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:27,200
My name's going to be Meadows.
395
00:26:27,300 --> 00:26:29,200
Are you mad?
396
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:33,200
- Mr Fink-Nottle
- Oh, my God. What ho, Dame Daphne?
397
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:38,200
- Don't l recognise you?
- l hope so. l was at dinner last night.
398
00:26:38,300 --> 00:26:40,600
- No, you.
- No. No.
399
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:43,900
- l'm his man.
- Man?
400
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000
A lackey, serf, valet.
401
00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:48,800
Your face seems very familiar.
402
00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:52,500
lt's that sort of face.
You see them all over the shop.
403
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:57,200
Anyhow, you may go about your
business. l want to speak to your master.
404
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,200
What's this l hear, Mr Fink-Nottle?
405
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:04,300
- l beg your pardon?
- l've had a telegram from Madeline.
406
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,600
- Oh, yes?
- Madeline says
407
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:11,700
she has not received a single letter
from you since you arrived at the hall
408
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,200
and she is distressed
at your abominable neglect.
409
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:17,200
And l'm not surprised.
410
00:27:17,300 --> 00:27:22,500
Oh, right. Yes, well, l'll dash off a line
as soon as we get back from the golf.
411
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,800
Please do, Mr Fink-Nottle.
412
00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,500
Right.
413
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,200
- Gentlemen.
- Morning, sir.
414
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,900
What's this
about you not writing to Madeline?
415
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,600
- Madeline?
- She's sending telegrams about it.
416
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:51,000
- For all our sakes, Gussie, write to her.
- l am not at all pleased with Madeline.
417
00:27:51,100 --> 00:27:53,500
She made me come to this ghastly place
418
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:57,100
and l only consented on the
understanding that she'd come too,
419
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,200
and then, at the last moment,
420
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,700
she backed out on the flimsy plea
that some friend needs her.
421
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,700
She must be made to realise
she can't do that sort of thing,
422
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,800
so l'm not going to write to her.
lt's a sort of a system.
423
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:13,100
Gussie, will you or will you not compose
an eight-page letter
424
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,300
breathing love in every syllable
and post it to Madeline?
425
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,300
- Not.
- Come on, Bertie.
426
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:20,900
Right-o.
427
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:56,300
Ahem.
428
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:17,700
- Excellent shot!
- Oh, well struck, sir.
429
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,600
- What club will you use, Gussie?
- Same one.
430
00:29:21,700 --> 00:29:26,900
l press this button, click, it's a niblick,
click-click, a mashie niblick,
431
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:31,900
click-click-click, a mid-mashie.
Say goodbye to heavy golf bag misery.
432
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,600
Not having much luck
with that new club, Bertie.
433
00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:04,400
lt takes a bit of getting used to.
You can't just pick it up and...
434
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:08,900
Here, let me have a go. You can use
my clubs for the rest of the round.
435
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,000
(Jeeves) Fine stroke, sir.
436
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,300
Splendid.
437
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,400
Bertie, you were wonderful.
438
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,000
- What are you doing here, Catsmeat?
- Waiting for you.
439
00:30:49,100 --> 00:30:53,800
- What does Fink-Nottle think he's up to?
- Gussie Fink-Nottle is a criminal lunatic.
440
00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:58,400
He seems to be infatuated with Gertrude.
Sorry to use such long words, Bertie.
441
00:30:58,500 --> 00:31:02,000
l come all the way here
to persuade Gertrude to elope with me
442
00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:05,300
and l can't get near her
for that blasted Fink-Nottle.
443
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,800
Worse than that,
he won't write to Madeline.
444
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:10,500
You know the importance
girls attach to letters.
445
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:12,600
- And he won't write?
- Not a line.
446
00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:16,100
l pleaded with him and he put
his ears back and refused to cooperate.
447
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,700
lf Madeline doesn't receive a letter
swearing undying fealty,
448
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,600
she's liable to come here
and beat one out of him.
449
00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:25,600
- Jeeves, l'm sunk.
- Well, sir,
450
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:29,400
if Mr Fink-Nottle will not write
to Miss Bassett, perhaps you might.
451
00:31:29,500 --> 00:31:32,500
But, Jeeves,
she wants to hear from Gussie.
452
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:36,800
lf it were indicated that Mr Fink-Nottle
had sprained his wrist
453
00:31:36,900 --> 00:31:39,600
and had to dictate a letter to you, sir...
454
00:31:39,700 --> 00:31:41,600
l say! What a wheeze!
455
00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:44,100
- You were right about him.
- Thank you, sir.
456
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:48,500
lf you said that Mr Fink-Nottle
had given his wrist a nasty wrench
457
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:50,600
while stopping a runaway horse
458
00:31:50,700 --> 00:31:53,700
and saving a little child
from a hideous death,
459
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:58,300
it might turn Mr Fink-Nottle's taciturnity
to your advantage, sir.
460
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,400
A golden-haired child is best
in such circumstances.
461
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,200
What a man, Bertie!
462
00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:09,200
What a brain,
and all this is due to fish, you say?
463
00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:13,400
Never mind Jeeves's diet, Catsmeat.
Writing paper instanta.
464
00:32:13,500 --> 00:32:18,500
lf Madeline's withers are to be wrung,
we must catch the five o'clock post.
465
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,500
''Dear...
466
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,600
''Dearest Madeline...
467
00:32:22,700 --> 00:32:24,600
''My dearest... My dearest.''
468
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:39,200
(Dame Daphne) And now for a real treat.
469
00:32:39,300 --> 00:32:43,600
Mr Wooster has kindly consented
to entertain us all
470
00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:45,700
with some songs at the piano.
471
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,300
(Tentative intro)
472
00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:13,800
(Lisping) Maud and Fred were courting
473
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:16,100
The wedding day drew near
474
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,200
Said Fred to Maud one evening,
475
00:33:18,300 --> 00:33:21,200
l wish you'd tell me, dear,
476
00:33:21,300 --> 00:33:25,900
How do you feel
when you marry your ideal?
477
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,400
Ever so goothie-goothie-goothie
goo-thie
478
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:34,900
How do you feel
when the bells begin to peal
479
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:39,100
Ever so goothie-goothie-goothie
goo-thie
480
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:41,100
Walking up the aisle...
481
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:45,900
lf this doesn't bring Gertrude
to her senses, nothing will. Goodbye.
482
00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:52,600
How do you feel
when you marry your ideal...?
483
00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:54,600
l say, this is dashed decent of you,
484
00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:57,900
doing your normal stint
and pandering to Gussie's every whim.
485
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,000
Mr Fink-Nottle's whims
are few and far between, sir.
486
00:34:01,100 --> 00:34:03,000
Are we surprised, Jeeves?
487
00:34:03,100 --> 00:34:07,000
Shut away in Lincolnshire, surrounded
by newts and orange juice,
488
00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:10,700
surely even the strongest whim
would wither on the vine.
489
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:14,800
A lesson to us all, sir. Was the musical
entertainment a success, sir?
490
00:34:14,900 --> 00:34:17,300
From our point of view, Jeeves,
a blinder.
491
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,600
Gussie will shortly be banished
to his room a broken and rejected man.
492
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:28,800
Do you get the wind up
when the organ plays
493
00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:33,100
How do you feel
when the parson's done the deal?
494
00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:37,700
Ever so goothie-goothie-goothie
goo-thie
495
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:46,400
lsn't he marvellous?
He's just like Jack Buchanan.
496
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:50,700
He is like Jack Buchanan.
497
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,200
Yes...
498
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:57,800
l love Jack Buchanan.
499
00:34:57,900 --> 00:35:01,600
Gertrude says he's like Jack Buchanan,
Charlotte.
500
00:35:01,700 --> 00:35:03,800
Oh, is he?
501
00:35:11,100 --> 00:35:13,400
(Laughter and applause)
502
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:25,700
Telegram for Mr Fink-Nottle.
503
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:28,700
Thank you, Tom.
504
00:35:31,100 --> 00:35:33,700
Telegram for Mr Fink-Nottle, Meadows.
505
00:35:46,900 --> 00:35:52,600
His singing was bad enough before, but
with the added magic of stage fright...
506
00:35:52,700 --> 00:35:56,600
- lt's an absolute calamity, Bertie.
- l know. l heard it.
507
00:35:56,700 --> 00:36:00,400
- No, you don't understand. They love it!
- What?
508
00:36:00,500 --> 00:36:04,600
You hear of people being lionised.
l wondered what it was like. Now l know.
509
00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:08,000
Gussie? But he was making
the most frightful row.
510
00:36:08,100 --> 00:36:13,200
The whole grisly crew think it was
wonderful and Gertrude's all over him.
511
00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,700
Well, that's it, Jeeves. We're finished.
512
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,200
- She loves his golf and his singing.
- He's got a telegram too.
513
00:36:19,300 --> 00:36:22,400
Who'd be sending telegrams to Gussie?
514
00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:24,400
- Go on.
- Go on what?
515
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:27,600
- Open it.
- l can't. lt's addressed to Gussie.
516
00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:30,600
Well, it's probably for you.
517
00:36:30,700 --> 00:36:33,000
- Go on.
- No, Catsmeat.
518
00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:37,100
- The code of the Woosters restrains me.
- Well, it wouldn't restrain me.
519
00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,900
The code of the Woosters is more rigid
than the code of the Catsmeats.
520
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,300
A Wooster cannot open
another's telegram.
521
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,500
Pardon me for intervening, sir,
522
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,200
but perhaps it would alleviate
the ethical pressure
523
00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:52,800
if l were to open the communication
and read it out.
524
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,200
Sterling notion, Jeeves.
525
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,600
lt's from Miss Bassett, sir.
526
00:37:02,700 --> 00:37:07,900
''Letter received. Cannot understand
why not had reassuring telegram.
527
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:13,700
''Sure you concealing accident terribly
serious, fever, anxiety. Fear worst.
528
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:18,200
''Unless hear from you soon,
will arrive by earliest train.
529
00:37:18,300 --> 00:37:20,600
''Love. Kisses. Madeline.''
530
00:37:20,700 --> 00:37:22,500
Well, that's...
531
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,700
- Gussie, l've got to talk to you.
- Sorry, Bertie, l haven't got time.
532
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,200
There's a lovely full moon.
Gertrude and l are going for a walk.
533
00:37:33,300 --> 00:37:37,600
l'm going to get a muffler. Oh, remember
pestering me to write to Madeline?
534
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,800
- Well, l wrote to her this afternoon.
- (Whimpering)
535
00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:44,900
- Why are you looking like a dying duck?
- Because l wrote to her for you.
536
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,600
- What do you mean, for me?
- l said you were indisposed.
537
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:51,200
- Something about a horse.
- A horse?
538
00:37:51,300 --> 00:37:54,300
You do the most extraordinary things,
Bertie.
539
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,700
Anyway, it really doesn't matter,
540
00:37:56,800 --> 00:38:00,500
because what l said in my letter
was everything was off.
541
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:03,000
- Off?
- l've broken the engagement.
542
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,400
l've been feeling for some days now
543
00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:09,400
that Madeline, although
a nice enough girl, just won't do.
544
00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,800
My heart belongs to Gertrude.
545
00:38:12,500 --> 00:38:14,400
Bye, Bertie.
546
00:38:23,700 --> 00:38:28,400
Housebreaking during the hours
of daylight is a serious offence, sir.
547
00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:31,300
l have to get that letter
before Madeline reads it.
548
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,100
You don't have to be involved.
Just start the car.
549
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,200
Very good, sir.
550
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,400
- Right, then, bye.
- Bye, Sam.
551
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:29,400
Come on, Pansy.
552
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:38,200
Madeline, breakfast.
We can do the flowers later.
553
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:55,000
(Hilda) Leave the sitting room for now,
Jane. l'm just going in.
554
00:40:17,100 --> 00:40:18,700
Oh...
555
00:40:22,900 --> 00:40:26,200
- Good morning, Madeline.
- Good morning, Hilda.
556
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:28,900
There's no letter from Augustus again.
557
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:34,100
l'm so worried, Hilda. l think l shall go
down to Deverill by an earlier train.
558
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,600
lf there isn't a letter, all it means
is that that other fellow, Wooster,
559
00:40:38,700 --> 00:40:41,900
is fed up with having Gussie
dictate letters to him.
560
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,900
- He's dippy about you, isn't he?
- He loves me very very dearly.
561
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,900
lt's a tragedy.
562
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000
l can't describe to you, Hilda,
563
00:40:50,100 --> 00:40:53,500
the look of dumb suffering in his eyes
when we meet.
564
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,200
- My photograph!
- What?
565
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,400
lt's not on the table. lt's gone!
566
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:04,000
l expect Jane smashed it. She smashes
everything that isn't made of iron.
567
00:41:04,100 --> 00:41:06,600
l'll go and ask her.
568
00:41:14,300 --> 00:41:18,000
- (Snarling)
- Oh, quiet, Pansy.
569
00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,600
What's the matter, you silly ass?
570
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,400
- Pansy
- (Growling)
571
00:41:32,100 --> 00:41:34,100
Jane says she... Hilda!
572
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,800
Oh, Hilda,
what are you doing with that gun?!
573
00:41:37,900 --> 00:41:41,200
- There's a damned man behind the sofa.
- No!
574
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:46,000
All right, you,
come out with your hands up.
575
00:41:46,100 --> 00:41:48,900
- No, you don't!
- Ah!
576
00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:55,000
- Stop, thief!
- (Screaming)
577
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,000
- (Gunshot)
- Sir, over here.
578
00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:09,500
Oi! You stop where you are, my lad!
579
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:12,400
Come back here!
580
00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:15,600
We don't want no trouble.
581
00:42:18,900 --> 00:42:20,800
lt's Bertie!
582
00:42:24,300 --> 00:42:26,200
Come back here!
583
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:35,200
- Oh, Bertie!
- l'll get you yet! You won't get far!
584
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:54,000
Morning, Constable. (Clears throat)
585
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:56,900
(Chuckling) Yes...
586
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:02,100
Mr Wooster, this is a most horrible crime
of which you stand accused.
587
00:43:02,200 --> 00:43:04,000
ln all my years on the bench,
588
00:43:04,300 --> 00:43:08,400
l've never been called upon
to preside over such a case as this.
589
00:43:08,500 --> 00:43:13,200
That such a crime could be perpetrated
in Wimbledon in broad daylight,
590
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:16,900
will bring a shudder
to every right-thinking person.
591
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:21,300
Have you anything to say
in your defence before l pass sentence?
592
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,400
- Well...
- He did it for love, Your Honour.
593
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,300
For what?
594
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,400
Love. l am not ashamed to say it.
595
00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:36,000
And who, my dear, are you?
596
00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:39,300
My name is Madeline Bassett.
597
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:43,600
l am the unworthy object
of this gentleman's adoration.
598
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:48,100
He's a very lucky young man,
Miss Bassett.
599
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:51,700
Not so, Your Honour.
l am betrothed to another,
600
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:57,200
but Bertie has gone on worshipping me,
outwardly gay and cheerful,
601
00:43:57,300 --> 00:44:00,800
inwardly gnawed by a ceaseless pain.
602
00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,600
- (Sniffing)
- Go on.
603
00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:06,400
l ought to have given him
my photograph long ago,
604
00:44:06,500 --> 00:44:10,100
but l thought it would be too painful
for him, Your Honour,
605
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,800
a sad reminder of all that he had lost.
606
00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:15,400
- No, no...
- Be quiet!
607
00:44:15,500 --> 00:44:21,200
l see now that l was wrong, Bertie.
You found the strain too great to bear.
608
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:24,900
- (Sobbing)
- You had to have it, whatever the cost,
609
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,200
so you stole into the house and took it.
610
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,000
You're a very fortunate young man,
Mr Wooster,
611
00:44:33,100 --> 00:44:36,000
to have this girlie speak up for you.
612
00:44:36,100 --> 00:44:38,200
The case is dismissed.
613
00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:40,900
(All) Oh...
614
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:44,900
- Now, look here, Madeline...
- You must be brave, Bertie.
615
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,900
l have to go to Augustus now.
He needs me too.
616
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:53,600
Someday, another girl will come into
your life and you will be happy.
617
00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:58,700
When we are both old and grey,
we shall laugh together over all this.
618
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:04,800
(Simpering) Laugh, but l think
with a tear behind the smile.
619
00:45:07,100 --> 00:45:09,400
How sad life is.
620
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,900
You betcha.
621
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,600
Fetch the car, Jeeves.
She's going to Deverill Hall.
622
00:45:17,700 --> 00:45:21,200
- We've got to get there before her.
- Very good, sir.
623
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:33,700
- Why, Mrs Gregson!
- Oh, Madeline!
624
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:38,300
- You're not going to Deverill, are you?
- l most certainly am, child.
625
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:42,800
- You'll pardon me saying so, sir...
- What is it, Jeeves?
626
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,500
The needle on the speedometer indicates
627
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:49,800
that we are travelling
at 85 miles to the hour, sir.
628
00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:52,000
Good lord! ls that all?
629
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:57,300
(Whistling)
630
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,700
l'd like to alert you
to the smell of burning, sir.
631
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:09,000
- Burning, Jeeves?
- l'm sure it's of no consequence.
632
00:46:09,100 --> 00:46:13,300
That's not burning. That's the smell
of hot oil and pounding pistons.
633
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,600
The ideal running temperature
of an engine...
634
00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:19,800
(Rattling and clattering)
635
00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:21,800
(Brakes squealing)
636
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:24,500
(Coughing)
637
00:46:32,500 --> 00:46:34,600
l'm so glad you could come, Agatha.
638
00:46:34,700 --> 00:46:37,600
Just in time to announce
the engagement, l think.
639
00:46:37,700 --> 00:46:40,100
- Oh, Mummy.
- Bertie? He is engaged?
640
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:42,100
Such a delightful boy.
641
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,200
To Gertrude?
642
00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:47,400
- A very parfait genteel knight.
- Abstemious.
643
00:46:47,500 --> 00:46:50,200
There must be some mistake.
644
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:08,400
- Talented.
- Oh, no, no.
645
00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:11,200
- lntelligent.
- Surely not!
646
00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:14,100
Ah, Gertrude, l hoped l'd find you...
(Gasping)
647
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,400
Gussie, you're all right!
648
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,500
- Madeline!
- Pardon me, Madeline.
649
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,800
Would you not touch Bertie in that way?
He doesn't like it.
650
00:47:24,900 --> 00:47:29,200
- Bertie? What do you mean, Bertie?
- lt's all Bertie Wooster's fault.
651
00:47:29,300 --> 00:47:32,300
What is happening?
ls this man not Bertie Wooster?
652
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,600
Of course he's not Bertie Wooster!
653
00:47:35,700 --> 00:47:40,100
- Gussie, what have you been doing?
- He said he was going to marry me.
654
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:43,400
- (Screaming)
- Madeline, l can explain!
655
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:48,700
Oh, what a journey we had.
We completely...
656
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:53,000
Claude! Claude!
657
00:47:53,900 --> 00:47:56,300
(Distant chatter)
658
00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:01,700
- Girl, will you stop crying?
- There, there...
659
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,000
lf he's Fink-Nottle, who's the other one?
660
00:48:04,100 --> 00:48:07,800
- Ah, what ho, Deverills all?
- (All gasp)
661
00:48:07,900 --> 00:48:09,800
Claude! Claude!
662
00:48:09,900 --> 00:48:11,800
l've been such a fool!
663
00:48:11,900 --> 00:48:13,900
Of course l'll marry you.
664
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,600
- Let's leave right away.
- Oh. Right.
665
00:48:17,700 --> 00:48:19,700
Pardon me, Mr Potter-Pirbright,
666
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,500
but l wonder
if l might borrow your moustache?
667
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,800
Sorry l missed lunch but l had to pop up
to Wimbledon to see Madeline.
668
00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:30,800
She's well, very Madelinish,
if you know what l mean.
669
00:48:30,900 --> 00:48:33,200
Bertie!
670
00:48:33,300 --> 00:48:37,400
Ah. (Chuckling nervously)
Aunt Agatha, this is a surprise.
671
00:48:37,500 --> 00:48:40,600
l want an explanation, Bertie.
672
00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:43,900
- An...
- And l want it now.
673
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,900
- He said he was Mr Fink-Nottle.
- (All talk at once)
674
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:52,900
- The thing is, Aunt Agatha...
- All right. Scotland Yard.
675
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:57,600
- l'm looking for one Bertram Wooster.
- Scotland Yard?
676
00:48:57,700 --> 00:49:02,600
- That's me.
- l am arresting you, Bertram Wooster,
677
00:49:02,700 --> 00:49:06,300
on charges relating to the possession
of an illegal golf club.
678
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:09,900
- Will you come quietly?
- (Whispering) That is brilliant!
679
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,600
Now, then, less of that.
Let's have no funny business.
680
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:19,700
l can't endure it!
681
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,500
Oh, the shame of it!
682
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:28,800
- What a wheeze, Jeeves.
- l'm glad to have been of service, sir.
683
00:49:28,900 --> 00:49:31,800
You know, Jeeves,
if someone were to come to me
684
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:35,900
and ask if l'd join a society
whose aim was the suppression of aunts
685
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:39,000
or who will see to it
that they're kept on a short chain
686
00:49:39,100 --> 00:49:41,900
and not permitted to scatter desolation
on all sides,
687
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:45,200
l'd reply, ''Wilberhulme...''
if his name was Wilberhulme,
688
00:49:45,300 --> 00:49:47,900
''Wilberhulme, put me down
as a foundation member.
689
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:52,400
l'm sure such a society
would not be lacking for subscribers, sir.
690
00:49:52,450 --> 00:49:57,000
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