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1
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,964
JACK: Hey, Govy,
what are you doing here?
2
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:07,472
If I may have a moment
of your time, Jacques?
3
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:13,105
What's the matter?
That rash come back?
4
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,441
No, monsieur!
5
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,540
CROQUE: This time, it is something
not quite so easily dismissed.
6
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:21,383
My wife Camille.
Her ship docks in one hour.
7
00:00:21,454 --> 00:00:24,548
Camille returns from Europe,
where my brother, Napoleon,
8
00:00:24,624 --> 00:00:27,616
raises the flag of victory
on foreign soil.
9
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,219
Aha! And you think they've been
playing "hide the flagpole"?
10
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:31,695
No, no.
11
00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:37,635
But my brother believes that a potent
libido is necessary for leadership,
12
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,898
and from what Camille
has told him,
13
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,932
he fears I am no longer man
enough to govern Palau-Palau.
14
00:00:44,010 --> 00:00:47,844
Oh, come on. You break wind and a
thousand soldiers draw their swords.
15
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,647
Perhaps.
16
00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:55,879
But it has been some time since
my own "saber" has been raised.
17
00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,021
Please, you must help me!
18
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:00,684
Hey, look, Croque, you
look like a nice guy, but...
19
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,321
Jacques, if I cannot
satisfy my wife,
20
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:07,389
Napoleon will make her
Governor!
21
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,236
(CHUCKLING)
22
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:13,499
Well, espionage reaches
a new low.
23
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:15,234
I'm now the Governor's
fluffer.
24
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:17,333
Jack, this is really
quite serious.
25
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,571
I know of this Camille,
and if she takes over,
26
00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:21,671
Palau-Palau will be
more oppressive than a...
27
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:23,306
Than a geisha's
chastity belt.
28
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:24,714
Oh, can't have that.
29
00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:26,479
We must help Croque,
for everyone's sake.
30
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:28,714
Hey, don't look at me. Last
time I danced the seven veils
31
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,016
I threw my hip out.
32
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:33,084
But aren't there things
that men use to sort of
33
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:34,859
straighten out the problem?
34
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:39,431
Whoa! Hey, you're talking
to the wrong guy, sister.
35
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:40,864
Well, don't get defensive.
36
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,459
You must have some idea where
to get that sort of thing.
37
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:47,132
Well, even if I did,
which I don't,
38
00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:48,970
that stuff can't raise
the dead, you know.
39
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:54,075
Unless of course your
determination is already up,
40
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,944
and then it can help
sort of...
41
00:01:57,317 --> 00:01:58,875
Stiffen your resolve?
42
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,921
Yeah, something like that. Of course,
you know, that's what I've heard.
43
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,556
(SIGHING) Well, I'll just
have to make it more potent.
44
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:07,925
As usual, it takes a woman
to solve a man's problem.
45
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,395
EMILIA: Come along.
We're off to see Croque.
46
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,935
Whoa, there!
47
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:23,407
CAMILLE: Oh!
48
00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:24,837
Remove the tree!
49
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,071
Oui, mon capitaine.
50
00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,171
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
51
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,286
Whoa, whoa.
52
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,880
Jack, look, Croque and
his wife are under attack!
53
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:41,185
Oh, isn't that a shame?
54
00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:45,728
Oh, all right. Wait here and
act surprised when I jump out.
55
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,324
(GRUNTING)
56
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,399
(SOLDIERS LAUGHING)
57
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:55,907
BROGARD: Nowhere to run,
monsieur!
58
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,169
That's what you think!
59
00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:58,301
(GASPING)
60
00:02:58,378 --> 00:02:59,538
Camille!
61
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:01,170
Steady, men!
62
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:05,011
Uh-uh-uh. Not so fast.
63
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,314
Since when does the Dragoon
fight for the Governor?
64
00:03:07,387 --> 00:03:08,786
I thought you were a man
of the people.
65
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,722
That's true, but I'm
an enemy of all crime.
66
00:03:12,292 --> 00:03:15,352
The Governor will get what's
coming to him, but not like this.
67
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,556
(JACK LAUGHING)
68
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,462
After him!
69
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,730
Oui, mon capitaine.
70
00:03:24,804 --> 00:03:25,998
Madam.
71
00:03:26,072 --> 00:03:27,096
(HORSE WHINNYING)
72
00:03:27,173 --> 00:03:28,663
Whoa! Whoa!
73
00:03:28,741 --> 00:03:29,867
(GRUNTING)
74
00:03:31,477 --> 00:03:34,037
BROGARD: Mon gouverneur,
are you all right?
75
00:03:34,614 --> 00:03:36,047
Nice work, Jack. Thanks.
76
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,776
What happened?
Is everyone all right?
77
00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:43,879
Who was that masked man?
I must have him.
78
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:54,357
In 1801,
the Revolution had been won
79
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,459
And Uncle Sam's favorite son
80
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,299
Had a job he needed done
81
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,339
Which brought Jack to a lady
82
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,374
Both beautiful and smart
83
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,307
Who found his mix intriguing
84
00:04:04,377 --> 00:04:06,004
A scoundrel with a heart!
85
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,148
From the Halls of Montezuma
86
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:13,879
To the shores of Tripoli
87
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,251
There was never
a leatherneck braver
88
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:18,017
A daring dragoon is he!
89
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,888
He'll halt the bold advance
90
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,052
Of Napoleon's attack
91
00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,288
There ain't a French
or pirate rogue
92
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:27,458
Who don't know Jack!
93
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,968
From the Halls of Montezuma
94
00:04:30,036 --> 00:04:32,061
To the shores of Tripoli.
95
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,167
Sailin' 'round
the bloody world
96
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:35,867
To defend democracy
97
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,240
And when ya need
a fightin' man
98
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:39,938
To trust or watch your back
99
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,243
Just ask the bloke
right next to ya
100
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:43,304
Damn right!
101
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,177
It's Jack!
102
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,717
JACK: All right. Well,
what should I have done,
103
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,690
let Brogard use Camille
as target practice?
104
00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:54,249
No, but can't you
tone it down a bit?
105
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:56,420
I mean, why do you always
have to be so...
106
00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:58,657
Intoxicating? Spectacular?
Handsome?
107
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,164
You said it yourself, Jack,
108
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,825
aphrodisiacs merely
fan the flames,
109
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:04,802
they don't create passion. And if
Camille falls in love with the Dragoon,
110
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:06,270
she'll never reconcile
with Croque.
111
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,533
Yeah, well,
Dragoon or no Dragoon,
112
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,405
it's gonna take more than pixie dust
before they're banging headboards again.
113
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:12,205
Yes, well, it can help
and we've got to try.
114
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,371
They're married, Emilia.
Come on!
115
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,415
What precisely
are you implying, Jack?
116
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:18,279
I'm not precisely
implying anything.
117
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:21,286
I'm saying passion never
survives past the altar.
118
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,983
I'll have you know that
after five years of marriage,
119
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,685
my husband and I had
more passion for each other
120
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,887
than we did
on our wedding night.
121
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,595
True passion grows from a
foundation of trust and respect,
122
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:35,259
shared by mature
and civilized people.
123
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,236
Wait. Are we talking about sex
here or parliamentary procedure?
124
00:05:38,304 --> 00:05:39,896
We're talking about love,
Jack.
125
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:41,831
Croque and Camille
simply need a catalyst
126
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:43,637
to put their hearts
back in touch.
127
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:45,701
They'd better touch more
than that or Croque's history.
128
00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:47,643
Yes. Well, if they don't,
we may all be history.
129
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:56,845
Camille, are we fully
recovered, ma chérie?
130
00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:00,321
From the terror,
or the disappointment?
131
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:01,826
Disappointment?
132
00:06:01,994 --> 00:06:05,395
Oh, my life hung by a thread,
133
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:10,960
yet my husband and his army
were impotent to save me.
134
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,501
But, fortunately,
135
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:18,072
there is still at least one man
on this island with a heroic heart.
136
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:22,211
The Dragoon? He is a
criminal, not a hero!
137
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:26,149
He most likely planned the entire event
just to make fools of us yet again!
138
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,483
Oh? He's done so before?
139
00:06:29,355 --> 00:06:33,621
Tell me more about
this insolent wretch.
140
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,290
He lives to spit
in our faces.
141
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:37,522
(SPITTING)
142
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,828
To repudiate French
authority on this island!
143
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:46,271
He strikes and then vanishes into
the night, like a jungle cat...
144
00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:47,636
Mon Dieu!
145
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,034
(GASPING)
146
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:55,403
How can any of us be safe with
such a virile danger in our midst?
147
00:06:55,481 --> 00:07:00,145
I assure you, ma chérie, the
thought occupies me day and night.
148
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:07,326
Unfortunately, it has had rather
a diminishing effect on my system.
149
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:11,260
You poor dear!
You need rest.
150
00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,256
(LAUGHING)
151
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,700
No strenuous activity
until you're recovered.
152
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,604
I forbid you to leave
this bed, understood?
153
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:24,800
(GIGGLING)
154
00:07:25,511 --> 00:07:27,877
And where are you going,
mon petit chou?
155
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,278
To take a bath.
156
00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:34,077
I'm feeling so very
157
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:37,489
dirty.
158
00:07:42,728 --> 00:07:44,525
Ah, here it is.
159
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,395
Last one on the island,
just in from Spain.
160
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,158
What is it?
161
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,998
Spanish fly. They say
it's a great aphrodisiac.
162
00:07:51,070 --> 00:07:52,094
(GIGGLING)
163
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:55,231
Maybe I can isolate the active
ingredient to make it twice as potent.
164
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:59,711
Twice as potent?
Sounds like a special case.
165
00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,245
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
166
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,307
It is. Desperate, in fact.
167
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:09,415
Oh, come on now, ladies, you don't
actually think this is for me, do you?
168
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,390
Now, honey, the chemist said we must
do this right away if it's to work.
169
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,722
And while we're at it, we
should pick up some waxing cream
170
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:16,762
for that little chest hair
problem of yours.
171
00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:18,194
MAN: Help me!
172
00:08:19,098 --> 00:08:20,827
Come on, Em.
We got a problem.
173
00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,330
Keep the change.
174
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,439
Captain Brogard,
I demand to know
175
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,168
what crimes these people
are charged with.
176
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,540
Oh, they're quite innocent,
madame.
177
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,238
Still, they'll be hanged
at dawn.
178
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:34,841
By whose order?
179
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,575
By order
of the Governor's wife.
180
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:39,310
She'll be giving all the
orders around here pretty soon.
181
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:42,513
This is an outrage! Such wanton
bloodshed will not go unanswered!
182
00:08:42,588 --> 00:08:46,547
Actuellement, that is what
Madame Camille is hoping.
183
00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:49,527
Okay, now, for once, Cappy,
you're way ahead of me here.
184
00:08:49,595 --> 00:08:52,359
Madame wishes to meet
the Dragoon.
185
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,733
So, this is a sort of
186
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,165
invitation.
187
00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:57,964
And if he doesn't show?
188
00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:00,168
There is no shortage
of peasants.
189
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:07,639
Look, I'll just sneak into
Camille's room and make her happy.
190
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:10,510
She would pardon Attila the Hun
if the old Dragoon asked her.
191
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,845
Don't flatter yourself.
192
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:13,613
Emilia, come on,
your position is always
193
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:14,846
"what's best
for the mission."
194
00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:17,856
So, let's just think of it
as the missionary position.
195
00:09:17,924 --> 00:09:21,690
Camille is very cunning, Jack. This
could be a trap. And even if it weren't,
196
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:24,286
that would hardly reconcile her
with her husband, now, would it?
197
00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:26,490
Come on, sister,
that ship has already sailed.
198
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,500
I still maintain that
love outlasts passion.
199
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,401
And where there is love, the
flame can always be rekindled.
200
00:09:31,804 --> 00:09:33,704
Yeah,
where there's lighter fluid.
201
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,140
Godspeed now, Jack.
The Governor's waiting.
202
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,903
Look, have you seen Camille?
203
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:40,007
If Croque can't raise
his mast for her,
204
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,104
no potion in the ocean
can do it for him.
205
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:44,581
I've refined the extract. This
should be 10 times as strong.
206
00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:46,379
Yeah. And when it doesn't
work, he's gonna blame me.
207
00:09:46,452 --> 00:09:47,544
No thanks.
You give it to him.
208
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,087
It's as certain as science,
Jack.
209
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,521
One shot of this, they'll need
a fire hose to separate them.
210
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,958
We're both gonna be hosed if you think
science can put libido in a bottle.
211
00:09:55,027 --> 00:09:56,654
Can you just take it?
Can you...
212
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:04,530
So
213
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:09,207
did I tell you I was donating
my body to science?
214
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:12,604
Research can always use
a few good men.
215
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,347
Will you still respect me
in the morning?
216
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,483
I don't respect you now.
217
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,752
Oh, my goodness,
it's the potion, isn't it?
218
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:28,157
Yeah. Yeah. Must be. I mean,
we wouldn't be doing this.
219
00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,627
No, no. Of course not,
we'd never forgive ourselves.
220
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:31,890
This is terrible,
this is simply...
221
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,261
Yeah. You bet.
Terrible.
222
00:10:33,332 --> 00:10:34,731
Uh, can you make more?
223
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,593
Well, that was the last
Spanish fly.
224
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:40,638
Now we'll never know if the
potion would have worked.
225
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:43,106
Unless we document
our own reactions.
226
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,640
In the name of science,
of course.
227
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:47,201
Yes. That's an excellent
idea. And from that,
228
00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:50,476
deduce what Camille
and Croque might have done.
229
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:52,382
Man and a woman,
230
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,442
shouldn't be too hard to
figure out what happens next.
231
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,988
This is child's play.
Camille is quite the sexpot.
232
00:10:57,056 --> 00:11:00,685
I bet she would probably
start like this.
233
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,094
Yeah. She is one hot
racing yacht, that Camille.
234
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:09,066
Transparent as rice paper. There's
no doubt what's on her mind.
235
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,727
Yeah. And that Croque.
236
00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,966
Oh, sure, he hides it well,
but I'll tell you what,
237
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:17,407
that old bird's got a wild
streak inside of him, too!
238
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:18,738
Without question.
239
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:21,837
And I bet sometimes it shoots
straight to the surface.
240
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:25,816
Yeah. Those Frenchmen.
They sure are hot-blooded!
241
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,409
Volcanic.
242
00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:30,651
(BOTH PANTING)
243
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,121
Oh, what am I doing?
244
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:36,621
If I get any closer to you,
245
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,789
you're just gonna have
to slap me, okay?
246
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,491
Yes. Yes. Okay.
247
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:44,196
Yeah.
248
00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:51,201
Hey, do that again.
249
00:11:54,113 --> 00:11:57,378
You like that, you nasty man?
Do you want some more?
250
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,817
Yeah. I want you
to spank me.
251
00:12:01,687 --> 00:12:05,088
I want you to spank me till
the cows come home, baby!
252
00:12:07,426 --> 00:12:08,620
Wait a minute!
253
00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:11,252
One of us has got to leave.
254
00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:16,131
Yes. Yes, you're right.
Preferably, with clothes on.
255
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:17,567
Yeah.
256
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,098
No, where are you going?
257
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:20,331
Well,
there are lives at stake
258
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,237
and I have to take care
of Camille.
259
00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:24,606
Take care of her? Jack,
no, no, no. Don't go!
260
00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,611
She's a...
She's a harmless child,
261
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,704
she's a tramp!
She's a hussy!
262
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:31,750
Don't you dare touch that
woman, Jack Stiles, you hear me?
263
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,512
(GRUNTS)
264
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,781
If you leave, Jack,
you'll regret it!
265
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,181
You have no idea.
266
00:12:40,993 --> 00:12:43,757
(GASPING)
267
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,097
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
268
00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:50,393
Is that you,
my little buttercup?
269
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:54,264
Psst, psst!
What's shaking, bacon?
270
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,364
Jacques.
271
00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,601
(CHUCKLING)
272
00:12:56,842 --> 00:12:59,572
Hey, you resting up
for the big event?
273
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:01,044
I am afraid not.
274
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,447
My wife desires
a bigger event than mine.
275
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:07,716
Well, lucky for you,
I brought the goods.
276
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,187
I have no need of potions
anymore.
277
00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,689
Forget potions.
278
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,818
I got something
that's better than that.
279
00:13:15,394 --> 00:13:19,353
You know, Croquey, your little
problem isn't that unique.
280
00:13:19,431 --> 00:13:20,762
Or hard to solve, either.
281
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:21,822
Is it not?
282
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:23,027
No.
283
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,764
See, when two people have
been together for a long time,
284
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:29,865
things can get a little
routine between the sheets.
285
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,240
Predictable.
Dare I say dull.
286
00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,370
Next thing you know, you're
just going through the motions,
287
00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:36,607
and she's counting the ceiling
cracks. Counting the ceiling cracks.
288
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,115
Yeah, you get the idea.
289
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,078
And then one night,
when you least expect it,
290
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,620
the little soldier
just won't salute.
291
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:44,480
But the war isn't over.
292
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:47,185
No, no, no. You just need
to generate some excitement
293
00:13:47,259 --> 00:13:48,988
and get that blood
pumping again.
294
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:50,652
What kind of excitement?
295
00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,890
Well, you said your wife
wants to meet the Dragoon?
296
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:54,523
Oui, and I rather think
297
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,034
she is hoping the encounter
will be horizontal.
298
00:13:58,103 --> 00:13:59,661
Well, she may be
on the right track.
299
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:02,730
I should allow my wife
to sleep with a criminal?
300
00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:03,900
Not exactly.
301
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:09,539
But if the Dragoon were to come into
her room, she'd get pretty excited.
302
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:12,440
And if she got excited,
next thing you know,
303
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,180
the little soldier's on the
march again. You catch my drift?
304
00:14:15,754 --> 00:14:18,917
Like a little game.
305
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,686
Yeah. Like cricket,
only fun.
306
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:23,728
Your first match is tonight
at the Coq Saint Jacques.
307
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:27,462
(LAUGHING)
308
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,498
JACK: That ought to do it.
309
00:14:32,004 --> 00:14:35,201
Okay. Now, this is for Madame
Camille's eyes only. You got that?
310
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:38,674
So, mission accomplished?
311
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,105
Yeah, yeah. I think so.
312
00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,707
That woman is a tart,
a cheap strumpet.
313
00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:45,215
Calm down,
I haven't done anything.
314
00:14:45,284 --> 00:14:47,514
Or anybody, for that matter.
Camille included.
315
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,282
Promise on your honor?
If you had any, I mean.
316
00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:53,086
Yeah. No one's touched
my honor, unfortunately.
317
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:57,321
Look, I think I've got hot pants and
grandpa back on the road to romance.
318
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,155
Really?
319
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,528
Yeah.
320
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:04,700
Do you think there's still a chance
something may come between them?
321
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,260
One can only hope.
322
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:08,596
Could be something big.
323
00:15:08,674 --> 00:15:10,801
Ooh, she's a lucky woman.
324
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:15,677
Oh, she can have luck. I'll
take science any day, baby.
325
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,340
(GASPING)
326
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,747
Back again!
327
00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:20,614
I don't think it ever left.
328
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,984
All right.
Let's just get a grip.
329
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,783
Grip away, baby.
330
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,387
Oh, I'm sorry! I'm sorry.
331
00:15:27,459 --> 00:15:29,723
It's all right. It's all
right. I'm going to go.
332
00:15:29,795 --> 00:15:31,422
No, no, I should go.
333
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:33,158
We could always go together.
334
00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,257
(GRUNTS)
335
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,097
Jack, wait!
Where are you going?
336
00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:39,467
Trust me.
You don't want to know.
337
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,729
(PANTING)
338
00:15:49,815 --> 00:15:52,375
Now, let's see what
you're really up to, Jack.
339
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:02,388
JACK: (VOICEOVER) Meet me at the Coq
Saint Jacques, 8:00. The Daring Dragoon.
340
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:04,728
P.S. Wear red.
341
00:16:05,264 --> 00:16:07,459
Well, if it isn't
our nightly regular.
342
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:08,966
Drop the stiff act, Brogie.
343
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,626
At least until
you get upstairs.
344
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:12,564
(CHUCKLING)
345
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,434
Go easy on him, sweetie.
346
00:16:16,108 --> 00:16:17,370
(GRUNTS)
347
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,341
If you're a good girl,
Maggie,
348
00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:23,609
I have a nice little
profiterole for you to nibble on.
349
00:16:23,682 --> 00:16:24,944
(BARKS)
350
00:16:26,352 --> 00:16:27,717
(GROWLING)
351
00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:29,285
(SNORTING)
352
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:32,621
(MAGGIE GIGGLING)
353
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,349
Monsieur, monsieur.
354
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:41,861
I've been expecting you.
This way.
355
00:16:52,244 --> 00:16:53,404
(LAUGHING)
356
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:55,811
Okay, big guy. Showtime.
357
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,815
(LAUGHING)
358
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:03,313
No, this way.
Go get them, tiger.
359
00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:07,925
Your turn, Sadie.
360
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,428
No, no, no, no,
Monsieur Jacques.
361
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,997
We simply must reduce this
tension between our countries.
362
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:26,738
Well, to be honest, I have
been a little tense lately.
363
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,981
If she's...
Well, then who's...
364
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:41,883
Out of the way! Come quick!
The Dragoon is here!
365
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,394
I guess I'll have to take
a rain check.
366
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,029
You can count on that.
367
00:17:46,098 --> 00:17:47,190
Oh, Jacques.
368
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:48,597
(CROQUE LAUGHING)
369
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:51,726
Come here, you!
370
00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:53,131
Emilia!
Emilia!
371
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:54,297
What're you doing here?
372
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:56,637
You lied,
you were going to Camille!
373
00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:58,573
But where is Camille?
374
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,439
Hey, look, I can explain.
Really.
375
00:18:00,512 --> 00:18:01,809
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
376
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,440
BROGARD: Give up, Dragoon,
you are surrounded!
377
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:06,177
Mon Dieu! I will be hanged!
378
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,184
No, you don't.
379
00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:10,620
Not on my watch.
380
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,123
I know we agreed to keep
our clothes on,
381
00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:18,754
but I need your underwear
again.
382
00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:20,495
Oh, Jack.
383
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:22,395
I mean, oh, Jack. Yes.
384
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,871
Dragoon! Open up!
385
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:30,338
Break down the door!
386
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:31,569
SOLDIER: Oui, mon capitaine.
387
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:34,075
(SOLDIERS GRUNTING)
388
00:18:36,081 --> 00:18:38,811
If you want a turn, Brogard, why
don't you pay like the rest of us?
389
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:39,942
(LAUGHING)
390
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,042
After him!
391
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,527
(WOMEN EXCLAIMING)
392
00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,835
You guys get new uniforms
or something?
393
00:19:06,945 --> 00:19:09,743
Oh! You dropped it!
Better go get it.
394
00:19:12,284 --> 00:19:14,309
(GRUNTING)
395
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,753
(JACK LAUGHING)
396
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,760
If you thought that was good,
madam,
397
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,058
come upstairs
and I'll show you one better.
398
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:31,202
Time to blow, babycakes!
399
00:19:33,338 --> 00:19:35,363
I told you we'd get
the old blood pumping!
400
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,101
All right, Croquey,
give it up!
401
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:39,708
Time to put the hammer down.
402
00:19:39,778 --> 00:19:40,904
(SNICKERING)
403
00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:42,173
Come on, Jack!
404
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,813
Ooh!
405
00:19:49,788 --> 00:19:52,655
They say you're a man
of action.
406
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:54,749
I say
407
00:19:57,596 --> 00:19:59,086
prove it.
408
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,127
(GASPING)
409
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:04,329
It was you all along?
410
00:20:04,503 --> 00:20:06,232
Oui, ma chérie.
411
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,632
I've never known
this side of you.
412
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:12,741
Take me! Ravage me!
413
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,209
(LAUGHING)
414
00:20:17,916 --> 00:20:19,406
(BOTH GIGGLING)
415
00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:28,386
I saw Camille yesterday.
416
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:30,985
She was looking
very satisfied.
417
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,022
Well, Em,
I guess you were right.
418
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:35,190
Love triumphed in the end.
419
00:20:36,468 --> 00:20:37,958
You were right as well, Jack.
420
00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:41,267
Passion can be
very compelling.
421
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,478
Yeah, that jungle juice
was strong stuff, huh?
422
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:52,808
It might have ruined things
between us.
423
00:20:53,151 --> 00:20:55,813
So, true friendship gives
passion a run for its money?
424
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,047
Yeah.
425
00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:01,848
Just out of curiosity, how
long will these effects last?
426
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:04,159
No more than a day or two.
427
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:07,492
Whatever will we do
to pass the time?
428
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,832
I think I'll go
horseback riding. And you?
429
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:17,375
Oh, a lot of cold showers.
Starting right now!
430
00:21:17,542 --> 00:21:18,907
(CHUCKLING)
431
00:21:18,957 --> 00:21:23,507
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