Original subtitles

‐ Swish, swish, bish.

It's me, Sarah.

And I am so fucking sick of thinking

about stupid Brett Kavanaugh.

Honestly, if I think of his frowny pink face

and his Pert Plus hair one more time, I'm gonna puke.

Trump even held a ceremony for Kavanaugh

where he apologized on behalf of the nation,

declared victory, as always, and added:

‐ You, sir, under historic scrutiny,

were proven innocent.

‐ And you, sir, under historic scrutiny,

will be poopin' in a cell.

I'm very proud of that.

So now Kavanaugh's on the court and ready to decide the case

of "tastes great" versus "less filling."

What's even more upsetting is the GOP is seeing

an actual bump from this Kavanaugh shit.

‐ The Kavanaugh bump is real.

‐ Shut up, dummy.

God, I wish I could get through

to the 52% of white women

who put Trump in office, but they are‐‐

they're too far gone.

So, instead, I am looking to young people.

Young Thug.

Young Dolph.

Lil Pump.

Lil Uzi Vert.

But also young people who aren't rappers.

Because only 23% of young people voted at all

in the 2014 midterms.

And I know you don't want to hear this from me,

your Auntie Sarah‐‐ who happens to have

a cherry bomb of a caboose, by the way‐‐

so take it from your buddy Taylor Swift.

T‐Swift has never been political before,

but this week, she went on Instagram

and said she would vote for two Democrats in Tennessee,

and it is a very big deal,

because Taylor has a massive amount of reach.

She has 112 million Instagram followers.

She's not just a pop star,

she has the following of two Italys.

And Republicans' knee‐jerk reaction, of course,

is to tell her to stay out of politics.

Hey. You can't give Kanye a free ticket to the White House

and then tell Taylor to stay in her lane.

They are both taxpaying citizens.

They can talk about whatever they want.

You know who should shut up? Tax dodgers.

Which would be great, because then we wouldn't

have to hear from big fat President Dumbshit.

And yes, Taylor's a little late to the game

and waited until the American leg of her tour was over

to speak up, but hey, better late than never,

ever getting back together.

Fuck, her songs are so catchy.

Look what you made me do.

[Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong" plays]

♪ ♪

MAN: ♪ Shave it off, stay alive, open wide ♪

♪ Show us how to conquer first and then divide ♪

CHORUS: ♪ Don't know if we're stayin' long, stayin' long ♪

♪ Used to staying weak ♪

♪ And now we're staying strong ♪

♪ We don't wanna go where we do not belong ♪

♪ Lonely as the day is long, day is long ♪

♪ ♪

‐ Hi. It's me.

Wow.

What an attractive audience.

I'm gonna have to take a cold shower before the monologues.

Oh, there's no time? That's okay.

I'll do it horny.

[laughter]

I want to talk to you guys about climate change.

Wait, don't switch over to "Bosch"!

Hurricane Michael just happened.

It's the third most powerful storm

ever on record to hit the U. S.

It was big. It was on every channel.

But you know what is not on every channel?

The reason these storms are getting more powerful

and more frequent.

God punishing gays.

[laughter]

No, it's climate change. It's climate change.

And I know climate change is not the most exciting issue,

and the media knows it too,

which is part of why it's covered so infrequently.

Here is MSNBC anchor Chris Hayes

responding to the question of why he's not airing

more segments on climate change.

You know what's a great incentive?

We're all gonna fucking die.

How about that for an incentive?

[laughter]

Look, my show would get better ratings

if I just described the dongs of dudes I've dated.

But climate change is an emergency,

and one you definitely will not get a presidential alert for.

So maybe this gets shared a little less than normal,

but I feel compelled to use my platform to speak out.

Granted, my platform is on the third‐largest

streaming network of three.

[laughter]

So it's not so much shouting from the rooftops

as, like, complaining at an open mic at Panera Bread.

[laughter]

Still, this is happening, so put down

your broccoli cheddar soup and buckle up.

This past week, the UN's intergovernmental panel

on climate change‐‐ let's call it IPCC‐‐

released a report showing that, on our current path,

we will face apocalyptic levels of flooding,

wildfires, and famine by 2040.

Which is not just in our lifetime,

but really fucking soon.

It's 2040!

Cardi B will be, like‐‐ ew, my age, gross.

[laughter]

I know there are so many problems right now‐‐

you know, people can't afford rent

and face crushing student loan debt and medical bankruptcy.

White supremacy is being further entrenched

by a far right‐wing government.

Taco Bell still hasn't made the Naked Chicken Chalupa

a permanent menu item.

But we cannot ignore the meteor hurtling towards Earth

just because our house is on fire.

2018 is on track to be the fourth hottest year

in recorded history.

You want to guess what the first, second,

and third hottest years are?

Too late, it was the last three years.

This is fucking happening,

despite what Fox News grandpas think.

Unfortunately, a Fox News grandpa is our president.

‐ So Obama's talking about all of this

with the global warming and the‐‐

a lot of it's a hoax, it's a hoax.

I mean, it's a money‐making industry, okay?

‐ Yeah, it's a hoax, like Sandy Hook

or the Holocaust or you making women cum.

[laughter]

You know, one of those hoaxes that 97%

of the world's scientists are in cahoots on.

I don't think I've ever said the word "cahoots" before.

Cahoots, it sounds Yiddish.

I think it's a Yiddish word for having diarrhea

in a public square.

[laughter]

Look, the Paris Agreement was meant to keep

global warming to under 2.6 degrees.

Even in the unlikely event we hit that target,

there is a good chance we are totally fucked

and we cannot get un‐fucked.

‐ Excuse me, Sarah?

Hi, I'm a dumb guy,

and I'm having trouble following all these stats

on account of my oatmeal‐like brain.

‐ Oh, right, okay.

Two point six degrees

does not sound like a big deal.

You need something more visceral.

‐ Visceral? Sorry.

My vocabulary is very not big.

Again, I'm an idiot.

‐ Got it. You need to hear what bad things are gonna happen.

You know how Miami is a city?

‐ Yeah.

‐ It's going to instead be the ocean.

‐ Awesome.

Like my favorite movie, "Waterworld."

‐ Oh, you have bad taste, 'cause you're dumb.

‐ Bingo. Bingo, bingo. SARAH: Okay.

How about this?

New York City will be as hot as the tropics,

and the tropics will grow so hot,

they will be uninhabitable.

Hurricanes and typhoons and wildfires

will just become the weather.

Tens of millions of climate refugees

will have to flee their homes

because of rising sea levels or famine.

And for those of you with no empathy,

that's not just in other places.

It's here.

As all of Earth gets as hot

as sub‐Saharan Africa,

mosquitoes will spread across the globe,

infecting as many as 5 billion people with malaria.

‐ I just shit my pants.

‐ Yeah, it's fucking scary stuff.

‐ I'm gonna go check on my pants.

‐ Sounds like a plan.

You know, the last time there was this much

climate change in a short period,

it led to mass extinction that killed 97%

of all life on Earth.

Meanwhile, the Trump administration's

official response to all of it is, "Fuck it."

They're actually pushing for more

environmental deregulation.

Why? Because they're protecting the interests

of a very small group of absurdly rich

and powerful people.

According to "The Guardian,"

71% of global carbon emissions

stem from just 100 corporations.

That's it, just 100 giant billionaire businesses

that filled the right pockets to get the devil's job done.

Our only chance for survival is an about‐face,

investing in renewable energy,

which would not only save the planet

but create an incredible boom in jobs.

You know, California incentivized clean energy

and, as a result, now has eight and a half green jobs

for every one job in fossil fuels.

Yet, the Trump administration is actually suing to stop them.

Please follow the money on that one.

So should we all just assume

we're truly and properly fucked?

I mean, yes.

Sorry.

It's just, it would be disingenuous

to sugarcoat it.

At the same time, we cannot give up,

because fighting their nihilism with more nihilism

is what they're banking on.

If we don't fight these 100 corporations,

they get their money, and we get to die.

And the fucking disgusting irony of it, of all of it,

is that the billionaires who have created

this global atrocity are gonna be the ones to survive it.

They're gonna be fine.

While we all cook to death in a planet‐sized hot car,

they will be safe in their Martian bio‐dome,

stuffing robot sex slaves in their penthouse fuck suite.

[laughter]

So the only option is we react to this massive

state of emergency with massive action.

We should be doing the opposite

of every single thing this administration is doing.

The world has to come together to fight

this man‐made apocalypse, or we are fucked.

‐ We can't be consumed

by our petty differences anymore.

We will be united in our common interests.

‐ Wow, that was so, like, not dumb.

‐ We will, once again, be fighting for our freedom.

Not from tyranny, oppression,

or persecution, but from annihilation.

And should we win the day, the fourth of July

will no longer be known as an American holiday.

‐ Wait. This is the speech from the end of "Independence Day."

‐ Yeah, but it's really good, and...

‐ I mean, swap aliens for climate change

and it's pretty much the same‐‐ it's the same movie.

Wait, just finish it. Finish your speech.

‐ Really? SARAH: Yeah.

We're all gonna die anyway.

‐ We will not go quietly into the night.

We will not vanish without a fight.

We're going to live on.

We're going to survive.

Today, we celebrate our Independence Day!

[cheers and applause]

‐ We'll be right back... or will we?

‐ I was recently a guest

on "The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell."

Oh, you don't believe me?

Well, you're gonna look so dumb,

'cause I got video proof.

Watch this.

[percussive music]

‐ Welcome back. These days, so much

of our political conversation

happens on Twitter,

but what does this intersection

of politics and social media

mean for our culture?

We're joined by our panelists in Los Angeles,

actor, comedian, and politically active Twitter user

Sarah Silverman.

And the right‐wing Twitterverse's

newest superstar

Brambi Streeter.

Brambi, let's start with you.

Earlier this week, this tweet of yours

went viral, reading, quote,

"Why don't I need feminism?

I have AR‐15 reasons."

What were you trying to say?

‐ Well, Lawrence, there are

a lot of coastal elites

who want to make it illegal to love America,

but real Americans know defending liberty

is the most pro‐woman thing of all.

‐ You know, no offense, Brambi,

but, honestly, it seems like every conservative pundit

on TV reads from the same, like, ten‐phrase glossary.

‐ Oh, I'm sorry. Are you triggered?

Because the only trigger warning I need

is "the safety is off."

‐ Eh. [laughs]

That was a good one. ‐ I know.

‐ You know, I think this exchange

leads me to my next question.

Is social media

making us more divided?

‐ You know, Lawrence, I think in many ways,

it brings us together,

and in many ways,

it does divide us.

Certainly, if you're only getting your news

from Trump's incoherent tweets‐‐

‐ President Trump lives rent‐free

in your head every day.

‐ Brambi, take me through how you came up with that.

‐ Oh, I'm sorry. Are you triggered?

Because the only trigger warning I need

is "the safety is off."

‐ You said that already.

‐ [mockingly] "You said that already."

‐ Okay, first off, I do sound like that.

Secondly,

who are you?

Like, where do you come from?

Every other week, there's some new

young conservative Barbie doll who comes out of nowhere‐‐

BRAMBI: Well, so much

for the tolerant left‐‐ build a wall‐‐

lock her up! Benghazi‐‐nothing burger‐‐

Benghazi‐‐Benghazi! Coastal elite.

‐ Is she okay?

‐ You know, I don't know.

I‐I actually don't even know where we got her.

She just showed up wearing a lapel mic.

‐ Brambi? ‐ I'm a proud, gun‐loving,

God‐fearing, red state deplorable,

real American from‐‐

‐ Hey, can we check on Brambi?

‐ From‐‐from‐‐

from‐‐from‐‐

SARAH: Where do you come from?

‐ From‐‐from‐‐

from‐‐

From...

[disquieting music]

♪ ♪

[inhales suddenly]

[breathing heavily]

‐ Your name is...

Brambi Streeter.

♪ ♪

‐ Your name is...

Sluzi Guggle.

[disquieting synth music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

‐ What happens when I'm not young anymore?

♪ ♪

‐ Be afraid.

♪ ♪

MAN: It is now time for you to be armed

with your most dangerous weapon.

♪ ♪

[tweeting sounds]

♪ ♪

BRAMBI: Trump, Trump, Trump,

Trump, Trump,

Trump, Trump, Trump,

Trump, Trump.

MAN: What's happening?

‐ Brambi? MAN: Somebody get help!

MAN: Get the medic!

‐ Stay with me, Brambi.

Stay with me.

Look...

we're gonna say "Merry Christmas" again.

‐ No more "happy holidays"?

SARAH: Nope.

No more "happy holidays."

And no more gender‐neutral bathrooms, either.

‐ Two bathrooms. Two genders.

‐ Yes.

Yes.

‐ What's happening?

I'm so scared.

‐ It's okay. You don't have to be afraid.

Heaven is filled with guys with guns.

‐ Good guys with guns?

‐ [laughs]

Great guys with guns.

[sniffs]

‐ Mm.

Liberal tears.

‐ I know they're your favorite.

[sparking] ‐ Gah!

‐ Brambi?

‐ [sputtering, sparking]

‐ Oh, God. Brambi?

‐ Well, looks like we lost Brambi.

Our thanks to Sarah Silverman,

Coming up after the break,

the new right‐wing social media star

who's driving the left up a wall.

Meet Sluzi Guggle.

‐ He is a veteran of the George W. Bush

White House, managed John McCain's

presidential campaign, and this June,

he announced he was leaving the Republican Party.

Please welcome a guy I have admired my entire summer,

Steve Schmidt.

[cheers and applause]

So you left the Republican Party this summer.

‐ I did. SARAH: What took you so long?

‐ You know, the straw that broke the camel's back

for me were the baby internment camps.

We're grabbing kids from the breasts of mothers,

putting them into detention facilities.

It's as cruel a policy as we've ever seen inflicted

by the government of the United States,

and it represents for me this moment of finality,

the corruption of the conservative movement,

of the Republican Party as it's fully become

the party of Trump.

‐ You said the party of Trump has to be obliterated.

So how do we go about doing that

that isn't a civil war or an apocalypse?

‐ The way that it is repudiated is through an election.

It needs to be burned to the ground.

The analogy I've used is a forest fire.

A forest fire destroys the forest,

but in its destruction, it purifies it,

and new growth comes as a result.

It's part of the natural life cycle.

So this needs to be burned down.

The...

[applause]

‐ Right, out of the ashes.

‐ And out of the ashes, we hopefully see

a period of American renewal.

We need to have two functioning parties in a two‐party system.

This moment that we have with Trump,

I think there's a real lack of imagination in the country

for the magnitude of the tragedy

someone as incompetent, as ignorant as he

is able to cause from the power that comes with that office.

‐ There are people who cannot imagine

that this could be true, that a president can't lie,

and yet everything he says is a lie.

He just has the cadence of truth.

He sounds like he's shooting from the hip

and telling it like it is, but he's not, he's lying.

‐ He lies constantly,

he lied 3,000 times in one year,

and his lies are different

than typical politician lies.

Most politician lies are self‐interested ones.

It's about self‐preservation.

You know, we think about the most famous lie

of the era, Bill Clinton,

"I didn't have sex with that woman,"

it's a lie of self‐interest.

‐ I would say weapons of mass destruction

is up there too. No offense, my friend.

‐ I think mistakes and lies are different things,

but the point with Trump is this.

They're lies of authority.

Because it requires you to submit to a proposition

that what is true is what the leader believes is true.

So what we see is Donald Trump going to mass rallies,

inciting the audience with constant lying

and scapegoating vulnerable minority populations.

Second thing he does is he creates a sense

of victimization and virtue in victimization.

He alleges conspiracies, and then he asserts himself

as the protector, the avenger,

of the afflicted, the aggrieved and victimized populations

to protect them from the deep state conspiracy

and the hordes of, say, Mexicans

running across the border.

It's dangerous, it's illiberal,

and it's profoundly un‐American,

and it's something that needs to be repudiated

by the only people who can repudiate it,

and that's the American people in an election.

SARAH: Yeah.

[applause]

Does he know he's doing it?

I just, I can't‐‐ I can't like, fathom

that he's that smart, even in an evil way,

but there is something he's got that is‐‐

‐ He has an‐‐ ‐ He knows what he's doing.

‐ He has an instinct for incitement.

And what happened was this inciter,

this performer, this reality show star,

found his way to this ideology, and he feeds off the crowd,

he fuels the anger, he fuels the resentment,

he picks up on it, and he's made

a political movement out of it.

‐ It's not like he's an evil genius.

It truly is a gift, that was, like‐‐

that has been given by... the devil.

[laughter]

You're still a traditional conservative,

so how do you reconcile that you are out there

pushing for a blue wave these midterms?

‐ Well, look, I‐‐ I'm an American before I'm a Republican.

I'm a small‐L liberal

in that I believe in liberal democracy.

I believe in pluralism.

I believe in the dignity of the human being.

One of the institutions that the Democratic Party

may be able to salvage when it stands up

against Trumpism, defeats it, is the Republican Party itself.

Because the Republican Party is an institution worth saving,

and it's an institution that can only be saved

at this moment in time by the Democratic Party,

who can defeat it and rebuke Trumpism for all time.

‐ What is the price of the Kavanaugh confirmation?

‐ It's a high price.

He may serve on that court for 40 years.

He could serve on that court till he's in his 90s.

He could be on the court in 2058,

and what will always be true is half the country‐‐

‐ Oh, my God, I'll be in my 30s.

‐ You'll be in your 30s.

Half the country will always view him as illegitimate.

They will always view it as a corrupted process,

and so the net effect of this is that the Supreme Court

has been degraded through this process,

and I don't care where you come down on this issue,

but if you look at it through this prism,

Chuck Grassley has been there for 38 years.

Diane Feinstein has been there for 26,

which means those two have worked together

in a body of 100 people for 26 years.

They're both pushing 90 years old.

She's running for reelection.

And this is the outcome of the work product?

This is the outcome we get? Holy shit.

It's astounding‐‐ It's astounding to watch it.

And so the Senate looks like a kangaroo court.

The judiciary committee looks like

a kangaroo court on steroids.

The FBI‐‐ the FBI played the patsy here with the sham investigation

that it was ordered to conduct by the White House,

and to, really, a fundamental degree,

the only way that Kavanaugh

could have ever demonstrated worthiness

for the seat for a lifetime on the Supreme Court

was to withdraw from the process,

but his ambition was more important,

superseded the integrity of the institution.

‐ Who can beat Trump in 2020?

‐ The next president will always have

opposite virtues of the last president.

Now, Democrats will make a mistake if they get into

a dishonest contest with Donald Trump,

because it's impossible to beat him in a dishonesty contest.

‐ He's the best at it.

‐ And if you stand up, and, you know,

with respect to Robert De Niro,

but if the message is, "Fuck Trump,"

well, Trump wins the vileness contest too.

And so what Democrats I think need to understand

is that there's a difference between toughness and meanness.

Meanness and cruelty are different than toughness,

and the Democrats are gonna need to have

a very tough candidate.

You're gonna see a 20‐person field,

and it's gonna be no‐holds‐barred.

It's gonna be wide open.

And, you know, through that process,

hopefully, you know, comes forward someone

who can win a general election and take him on.

‐ I hope you work for one of them.

Thank you so much, Steve.

Steve Schmidt, everybody. All right.

I'm gonna wrap up the show, and then I'm gonna

turn back to you, and let's do one of those,

like, '80s freeze‐frames, and then they'll run

the credits with, like, royalty‐free music over it.

‐ Let's do it. ‐ Okay, ready?

All right, here we go.

My thanks to Steve Schmidt,

Milana Vayntrub, and Lawrence O'Donnell.

Good night, America. I lurve you.

[schmaltzy pop music]

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0