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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:08,876
( music playing )
2
00:00:11,918 --> 00:00:14,042
( overlapping chattering )
3
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:12,126
Woman:
Mothers against picketing!
4
00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:13,709
Please sign.
5
00:00:13,751 --> 00:00:15,333
Man:
Free the whales.
6
00:00:15,375 --> 00:00:18,375
Man #2:
Incarcerate the whales.
7
00:00:18,417 --> 00:00:19,542
I gotta--
8
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:20,917
Okay, whoa.
9
00:00:20,959 --> 00:00:23,126
Man #3:
Gay marriage.
10
00:00:23,168 --> 00:00:25,042
Gay divorce.
11
00:00:25,084 --> 00:00:26,792
Woman #2:
Make petitioning illegal!
12
00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:31,126
Hi, can I help you?
13
00:00:31,168 --> 00:00:32,417
- Hmm.
- Oh!
14
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:33,459
- The pickles.
- Oh, the pickles.
15
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,709
Yeah, those are good.
16
00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:35,792
- There you go.
- Thank you.
17
00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:38,792
Oh, by the way,
I'm giving 50% off Brazilian,
18
00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:41,625
and 75% off Ecuadorians.
19
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,792
- Yeah, no.
- Okay, so, the wax is curdling.
20
00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:45,792
So I've got
to get to it real, real fast.
21
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:48,625
So if you want to bring your mom,
I can do that.
22
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:50,792
I love mother and daughter stuff!
23
00:00:50,834 --> 00:00:52,375
Man: Harder.
24
00:00:52,417 --> 00:00:55,542
Mm, really.
I thought I was doing it hard, okay.
25
00:00:55,584 --> 00:00:56,917
Harder.
26
00:00:56,959 --> 00:00:59,959
Well, you are making me
work for it, huh?
27
00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,417
Harder.
28
00:01:01,459 --> 00:01:03,834
All right, here I go.
29
00:01:03,876 --> 00:01:05,584
( yelps )
30
00:01:05,625 --> 00:01:09,126
Oh, wow.
That was a good release, wasn't it?
31
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:12,209
- Okay, all right. That's good.
- ( moaning )
32
00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:15,333
Okay, you know what?
You're gonna need to drink some water.
33
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:16,500
Lots of it.
34
00:01:16,542 --> 00:01:19,126
What is this?
35
00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:20,834
This is your office.
36
00:01:20,876 --> 00:01:22,542
Bobbie:
Yeah, well, it is now.
37
00:01:22,584 --> 00:01:24,876
You see, the Whole Foods,
they kicked me out
38
00:01:24,917 --> 00:01:27,459
while I was giving detox colonics
39
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,625
very close to the soup tureens.
40
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:31,500
- Oh, my gosh.
- ( man moans )
41
00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:33,042
Is he okay?
42
00:01:33,084 --> 00:01:36,792
- He doesn't seem okay.
- No, he's fine. He's fine, really.
43
00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:38,584
Just relax.
Oh, Wray, here.
44
00:01:38,625 --> 00:01:41,042
You pick yourself out
a spa package.
45
00:01:41,084 --> 00:01:43,876
Bobbie, have you negotiated
the commercial deal?
46
00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,042
It shoots tomorrow.
47
00:01:45,084 --> 00:01:46,917
Yeah, you know what?
48
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:49,333
That thing needs
a little more work,
49
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:52,126
and since I am only
a convention booker...
50
00:01:52,168 --> 00:01:54,751
So if you make me
your TV and movie rep,
51
00:01:54,792 --> 00:01:57,250
well, then,
I can give you a hand.
52
00:01:57,292 --> 00:01:58,876
Oh, by the way,
would you give me a hand
53
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,834
and just flip over those links?
54
00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:02,751
Starting to smell
like an orphanage fire.
55
00:02:02,792 --> 00:02:04,250
Is this yours too?
56
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,042
Oh, by the way, I have been
hustling for you, sir, yeah.
57
00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:12,917
I have got a hot scoop.
58
00:02:12,959 --> 00:02:15,751
Which coincidentally is a procedure
I had done last June.
59
00:02:15,792 --> 00:02:17,792
- ( moans )
- What is wrong with--
60
00:02:17,834 --> 00:02:19,500
Which one of these did he get?
61
00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:21,834
Can-- can you--
can you feel that?
62
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:23,917
Is this at all--
can you wiggle your toes?
63
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,542
How about this?
How about this?
64
00:02:25,584 --> 00:02:27,168
Hot grease!
65
00:02:27,209 --> 00:02:30,084
How about this?
Hot grease!
66
00:02:30,126 --> 00:02:32,209
I'm concerned.
67
00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,333
What the hell is
the Big Boy Mess?
68
00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:37,333
I happen to know
that the director of the commercial
69
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:40,292
is also directing
a prestigious drama.
70
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:42,459
- "Doctor Cop Lawyer."
- Yes, "Doctor Cop Lawyer"!
71
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:45,792
And I have got the script!
72
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:46,834
Oh, my God.
73
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,333
Sorry.
74
00:02:49,375 --> 00:02:52,459
There's a great part in there,
Dr. Richard Trimmings.
75
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,042
You'd be the gimpy sidekick.
76
00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,959
- "Gimpy sidekick"?
- Yeah, yeah.
77
00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:59,917
- No.
- And he's got a squinting eye.
78
00:02:59,959 --> 00:03:02,375
- Doctor Dick Trimmings.
- Mm-hmm.
79
00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:05,084
- Why are all of his S's TH's?
- Oh, he has a lisp.
80
00:03:05,126 --> 00:03:08,333
No, squinty-eyed,
lisp, limp, that is--
81
00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:10,292
I want to play the lead.
82
00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,168
Here we go.
83
00:03:12,209 --> 00:03:16,042
Dr. Officer Blade Slater, Esquire.
84
00:03:16,084 --> 00:03:18,625
Okay, Wray,
you can't play that part.
85
00:03:18,667 --> 00:03:21,417
You see, I've submitted myself
for the female lead
86
00:03:21,459 --> 00:03:24,084
and that would mean
we'd be lovers.
87
00:03:24,126 --> 00:03:28,084
Okay, you submitted yourself
for the 20-something ex-dancer.
88
00:03:28,126 --> 00:03:30,250
Yes, parts of me
are 20-something.
89
00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:33,375
Yeah, thanks to my hot scoop.
90
00:03:33,417 --> 00:03:35,292
Man: Oh, my God.
You're Wray Nerely.
91
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:37,459
I will see you in Hell.
92
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:40,084
You're seeing it, right now.
This is Hell.
93
00:03:40,126 --> 00:03:42,168
Listen, okay,
whatever it takes.
94
00:03:42,209 --> 00:03:44,917
You're my film agent,
you're my TV agent.
95
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,417
Oh, my God,
I thought you would never say that!
96
00:03:47,459 --> 00:03:48,876
I've been waiting forever!
97
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:52,042
Why don't I just sign something?
This is too much.
98
00:03:52,084 --> 00:03:54,375
Okay, you know what?
I'm old-fashioned, so, um...
99
00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,500
here.
100
00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:58,625
Ow!
101
00:03:58,667 --> 00:03:59,959
- Yeah.
- You drew blood!
102
00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:01,209
Uh huh.
103
00:04:01,250 --> 00:04:02,333
Ouch...
104
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:05,209
( grunts )
105
00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:10,001
Through this blood,
we are bound.
106
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,042
( thunder cracks )
107
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,876
You know what?
That hurt.
108
00:04:12,917 --> 00:04:16,917
Oh, you have really got to man up
if you're gonna be Doctor Cop Lawyer.
109
00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,667
What is "roadside discovery flavor"?
110
00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:22,292
- Ugh.
- Oh, those are Wray's favorite!
111
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,084
- Oh, okay.
- You should buy a few boxes.
112
00:04:24,126 --> 00:04:26,168
Ahh... ooh...
113
00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:28,417
Here you go, Wray.
And Gary's.
114
00:04:28,459 --> 00:04:29,959
Here.
Oh, ow, it's hot.
115
00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:36,500
"Foal prepuce."
116
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:38,417
Aah!
Pony foreskin?
117
00:04:41,292 --> 00:04:43,333
No, that is not made
with pony foreskin.
118
00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:44,625
That's just the casing.
119
00:04:44,667 --> 00:04:46,792
Plus pig anus.
120
00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:48,126
Aah...
121
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:50,209
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
122
00:04:53,709 --> 00:04:55,667
A real man
would've swallowed.
123
00:04:58,709 --> 00:05:00,500
Hey, yes.
124
00:05:00,542 --> 00:05:04,667
Look, I read the script.
125
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,959
I love it.
I can play Doctor Cop Lawyer.
126
00:05:10,001 --> 00:05:12,459
Jack: You just focus
on the commercial tomorrow.
127
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:14,084
You know, Diego and I
did "Sea Light" together.
128
00:05:14,126 --> 00:05:16,168
That was the number one movie
five weeks in a row.
129
00:05:16,209 --> 00:05:18,209
Dude, why don't y'all
do a sequel?
130
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,084
Jack: I'm not doing anything
until I do "Spectrum."
131
00:05:20,126 --> 00:05:22,168
That's why I need you
to hit the con circuit,
132
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:23,709
build a groundswell,
133
00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:26,751
get these fans
all excited and frothy.
134
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:29,333
( expletive ) Australians.
135
00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:30,917
Frothy, buddy?
136
00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,417
They are already froth-- ack.
137
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:36,834
They're self--
They're self-frothing.
138
00:05:36,876 --> 00:05:39,959
Jack: Look, we are gonna need
to make some noise
139
00:05:40,001 --> 00:05:41,751
if we are gonna
announce this thing
140
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:43,709
at the biggest con of the year.
141
00:05:43,751 --> 00:05:45,792
- Wray?
- The Shock-A-Con?
142
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:47,751
Well, we haven't been
invited yet,
143
00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:51,292
but it'd be the perfect place
to announce the project.
144
00:05:51,333 --> 00:05:54,250
Wray: Wow,
that would be great, man.
145
00:05:54,292 --> 00:05:56,542
Hey, you know what, buddy?
I gotta go.
146
00:05:56,584 --> 00:05:59,001
Yeah, I'll--
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
147
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,584
- Faith: Wray...
- Faith: Jack...
148
00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:07,876
Together: I put this letter
where I knew you'd find it.
149
00:06:07,917 --> 00:06:09,584
This isn't easy to say,
150
00:06:09,625 --> 00:06:12,959
but I think it's time
we went our separate ways.
151
00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:15,042
- Please understand this is not personal.
- I want to thank you for reminding me
152
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,459
- I've started slipping into old habits...
- that I've started slipping.
153
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,001
The old me would never
have missed a meeting.
154
00:06:18,042 --> 00:06:19,500
...drinking too much, et cetera.
155
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,084
- It's gotten very old
- Yeah, it's very old fashioned
156
00:06:21,126 --> 00:06:22,792
- waking up hung over so often.
- to do this in a letter.
157
00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:24,250
- And I told you my old man
- But you're such an old man
158
00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:25,500
- has a problem himself--
- when it comes to technology.
159
00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:28,292
Oh, come on!
( muttering )
160
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:32,959
Faith: Today I realized, if I'm ever going
to be more than a personal assistant,
161
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,417
I need to make some changes.
162
00:06:35,459 --> 00:06:37,500
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Faith: Ah, let me see.
163
00:06:37,542 --> 00:06:39,625
Blah, blah, blah,
self-destructive.
164
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:42,209
Blah, blah, blah,
sexual inconsistency.
165
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:43,876
- Quitting isn't the easiest.
- Wray: What?
166
00:06:43,917 --> 00:06:45,959
- but it is the first.
- So I guess what I'm trying to say
167
00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,375
- can be summed up in one word,
- Thank you.
168
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:49,834
- "over."
- It's over.
169
00:07:20,126 --> 00:07:22,751
One...
170
00:07:22,792 --> 00:07:25,500
two...
171
00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:27,917
three...
172
00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:30,667
four...
173
00:07:30,709 --> 00:07:33,459
five.
174
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:38,459
"I guess what I'm trying to say
can be summed up in one word,
175
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,959
'over.'"
176
00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:43,792
It's not o--
It's not over!
177
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,542
It's not over.
I can get her back.
178
00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:49,084
She's not even gone.
I don't want her back.
179
00:07:49,126 --> 00:07:50,667
( sobs )
180
00:07:52,876 --> 00:07:55,959
She's a bitch.
We know that.
181
00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:59,375
Oh, selfish.
182
00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:01,751
It's me, this is me.
This is what I do.
183
00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:04,459
This is what I do,
and I can take that!
184
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:06,751
I can own that!
185
00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:09,625
Not like you, you're pointing fingers,
you're gonna get fat.
186
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,876
You're gonna get fat, and worse,
you're gonna get...
187
00:08:12,917 --> 00:08:16,333
thick and stout and swollen
with a big butt.
188
00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:20,792
Well, look who came
crawling back.
189
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,584
I had to pick up some stuff
and drop off that letter.
190
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,667
You couldn't text
like an adult?
191
00:08:26,709 --> 00:08:29,042
You didn't finish the letter.
192
00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:32,959
What?
193
00:08:33,001 --> 00:08:34,792
I think, um...
194
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,209
"Sexual inconsistency,
so I guess what I'm trying to say
195
00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:44,959
can be summed up
in one word, 'over.'"
196
00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:52,001
Over.
197
00:08:53,001 --> 00:08:55,876
Oh, oh, over.
198
00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:59,959
"And that one word is, 'respect.'"
199
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:06,084
- Okay.
- Respect.
200
00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:08,250
- Nope.
- Look.
201
00:09:08,292 --> 00:09:12,250
Ahh, "still have a future together?"
No.
202
00:09:12,292 --> 00:09:15,459
- What about that sixth--
- Definitely not that.
203
00:09:15,500 --> 00:09:18,001
- I asked for that.
- Uh, no, no, and no.
204
00:09:18,042 --> 00:09:19,584
- Huh?
- No.
205
00:09:19,625 --> 00:09:21,625
And... hard no.
206
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:24,792
Remember...
Okay.
207
00:09:28,876 --> 00:09:30,209
"We're...
208
00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:37,792
Over."
209
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,126
Who's in the mood
for some break-up sex?
210
00:09:48,459 --> 00:09:51,834
Dale:
Wray? Hello? Faith?
211
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:54,876
Ah, are you okay?
I heard crying.
212
00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:57,250
Wasn't me.
213
00:09:57,292 --> 00:09:59,001
Oh, I see.
214
00:09:59,042 --> 00:10:01,042
Here's a bra
I borrowed from you.
215
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:04,751
Oh, keep it.
Always looked better on you.
216
00:10:04,792 --> 00:10:06,375
Take care of yourself.
217
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:11,876
- I've fixed your breaker.
- Thank you.
218
00:10:11,917 --> 00:10:16,375
- Wray, you gotta nut up.
- Dale, you gotta--
219
00:10:16,417 --> 00:10:19,375
You gotta nut up.
You gotta get your nuts up.
220
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:20,625
Hey.
221
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,209
I did a stunt in this skirt
222
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:31,001
for the movie "The Pitfall Gamble,"
223
00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:33,168
doubling Beatrice Taylor.
224
00:10:33,209 --> 00:10:36,084
Rode a horse off a train
into a barn fire.
225
00:10:36,126 --> 00:10:39,168
No.
No.
226
00:10:39,209 --> 00:10:41,542
The train and the barn fire
227
00:10:41,584 --> 00:10:44,333
weren't even in the stunt.
228
00:10:44,375 --> 00:10:47,500
I spent nine weeks
in the hospital.
229
00:10:47,542 --> 00:10:50,459
The thing is, life hurts, Wray.
230
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,876
Woman leaves you,
you feel the pain, right?
231
00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:56,917
Good.
Stand on that pain.
232
00:10:56,959 --> 00:11:01,084
You can see further, reach higher,
grab something you want.
233
00:11:01,126 --> 00:11:04,834
Your balls are in the salsa.
234
00:11:04,876 --> 00:11:07,542
'Cause that's what I want.
235
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:10,834
Right now,
I want to get up, go home,
236
00:11:10,876 --> 00:11:13,834
and towel off my scrote.
237
00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:17,042
I never pegged you
for a habanero guy.
238
00:11:17,084 --> 00:11:20,001
I've always liked the extra spicy.
239
00:11:20,042 --> 00:11:22,584
Why am I tasting garlic?
240
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,792
I don't--
I don't know.
241
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:28,667
Why don't you go home, Dale?
Towel off your scrote.
242
00:11:33,001 --> 00:11:37,542
I don't want to hear
any more crying from you, okay?
243
00:11:37,584 --> 00:11:41,250
Life gives you broken bones, Wray.
244
00:11:41,292 --> 00:11:43,625
Uh, oh...
245
00:11:43,667 --> 00:11:45,333
No, Dale.
246
00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:48,250
- Dale!
- Don't swaddle them in bandages...
247
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,417
- Dale!
- and coddle them...
248
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,834
- What are you doing?
- in plaster.
249
00:11:52,876 --> 00:11:54,709
Stop-- be careful!
250
00:11:54,751 --> 00:11:57,584
- Your suffering is the...
- What are you doing?
251
00:11:57,625 --> 00:12:00,001
- best part of you!
- Jesus.
252
00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:01,500
Push!
253
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:03,667
Through the pain.
254
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:07,667
And you'll get everything in life
you've ever wanted.
255
00:12:09,417 --> 00:12:10,709
( gasps )
256
00:12:12,959 --> 00:12:14,667
( expletive )
257
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:17,250
Jesus!
258
00:12:17,292 --> 00:12:19,292
( music playing )
259
00:12:19,342 --> 00:12:23,892
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