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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,092 Hey, pay attention, fuckers... 2 00:00:08,159 --> 00:00:11,661 I need you to cancel that thing today, the debate. 3 00:00:11,730 --> 00:00:13,030 Why? 4 00:00:13,098 --> 00:00:14,865 Because my sister's dead. 5 00:00:14,933 --> 00:00:16,233 Hey, why aren't you drinking? 6 00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:17,467 Son of a bitch, what's in this? 7 00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,336 Fuckers... 8 00:00:20,403 --> 00:00:22,805 No angle; a proposal. 9 00:00:22,873 --> 00:00:26,408 What's the one thing you and I were always good at together? 10 00:00:27,544 --> 00:00:29,746 Ha! A new dealership? 11 00:00:29,813 --> 00:00:32,181 You're going to win it for me. 12 00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:33,782 It's my new long-term plan. 13 00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,884 Relax Foxley, I got this! 14 00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:38,686 A campaign that has zero focus, no platform, 15 00:00:38,755 --> 00:00:40,588 and not a single female supporter? 16 00:00:40,656 --> 00:00:42,090 This is serious, Fitz! 17 00:00:42,158 --> 00:00:44,592 Chester, I'm leaving you! 18 00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:46,261 Motherfucker! 19 00:00:46,328 --> 00:00:49,697 You faked your sister's death to get votes? 20 00:00:49,765 --> 00:00:53,000 What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Fitzpatrick? 21 00:00:53,068 --> 00:00:54,401 My sister's alive! 22 00:00:54,469 --> 00:00:56,470 It's a miracle! 23 00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:01,976 Oh, God... Oh God... 24 00:01:02,043 --> 00:01:03,477 You wanna know what I believe? 25 00:01:03,544 --> 00:01:05,712 Chumps wait for miracles. 26 00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:07,247 Fitzpatricks get what they want 27 00:01:07,314 --> 00:01:09,983 by following the ten commandments... 28 00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,186 There will be no other gods before me. 29 00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:15,054 Obviously. 30 00:01:15,122 --> 00:01:16,956 Never take the Lord's name in vain. 31 00:01:17,024 --> 00:01:18,591 Unless it's justified. 32 00:01:18,659 --> 00:01:20,059 Jesus Christ, sweet mother of fuck. 33 00:01:20,127 --> 00:01:22,094 Where's my lighter, Larry! 34 00:01:22,162 --> 00:01:24,296 Don't worship false idols. 35 00:01:24,363 --> 00:01:25,898 Unless you're out of single malt. 36 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,599 God, I hate blended. 37 00:01:30,703 --> 00:01:32,271 Observe the Lord's Day. 38 00:01:32,338 --> 00:01:33,872 Fuck me, Fitz. 39 00:01:33,940 --> 00:01:36,641 Oh, I observed it alright. 40 00:01:36,709 --> 00:01:39,643 Honor thy father. 41 00:01:39,711 --> 00:01:42,947 Don't kill -- intentionally. 42 00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,016 Then there's the one thing that no one gives a shit about 43 00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:46,784 so, who cares. 44 00:01:46,852 --> 00:01:48,886 Then there's the adultery thing- 45 00:01:48,954 --> 00:01:51,689 Get him! The stealing thing... 46 00:01:51,756 --> 00:01:54,624 And, finally, my favorite commandment of all... 47 00:01:54,692 --> 00:01:56,259 Covet thy neighbour. 48 00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:57,760 She's actually the neighbour's daughter. 49 00:01:57,829 --> 00:01:59,529 But who's counting? 50 00:01:59,596 --> 00:02:02,065 Because when you live life right, 51 00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,634 good things just happen... 52 00:02:09,974 --> 00:02:12,375 Amen. 53 00:02:44,058 --> 00:02:54,658 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 54 00:03:05,058 --> 00:03:09,095 'Ooo, we are Fitzpatricks and we rise from the dead.' 55 00:03:09,162 --> 00:03:11,163 There has not been one customer all day 56 00:03:11,231 --> 00:03:13,032 because of their blasphemy, Cousin. 57 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,267 Yes, the devil Father Fitzpatrick 58 00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,302 has found a most ingenious way 59 00:03:17,370 --> 00:03:19,137 out of our sales contract - 60 00:03:19,205 --> 00:03:21,607 starting his own religion. 61 00:03:21,674 --> 00:03:25,176 And giving away free cars with every $5000 "donation". 62 00:03:25,244 --> 00:03:27,012 I say bah! 63 00:03:27,079 --> 00:03:28,213 We shall overcome, 64 00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:29,648 for we are Ruptal. 65 00:03:29,716 --> 00:03:31,582 When has religion ever stopped us before? 66 00:03:31,650 --> 00:03:34,051 When the authorities put you on their no-fly list. 67 00:03:34,119 --> 00:03:35,720 It is preposterous of them 68 00:03:35,788 --> 00:03:37,221 to think I could hijack a plane 69 00:03:37,289 --> 00:03:39,089 with a pair of nose hair clippers... 70 00:03:39,157 --> 00:03:40,892 Nose hair clippers! 71 00:03:52,904 --> 00:03:54,404 Go find out what's going on. 72 00:03:54,472 --> 00:03:55,705 No. 73 00:03:55,773 --> 00:03:57,340 I'll be at the DUI- Did you just say no? 74 00:03:57,408 --> 00:03:58,909 I did. Why the fuck not? 75 00:03:58,976 --> 00:04:00,477 Because the election is imminent 76 00:04:00,545 --> 00:04:02,478 and we need to focus on shoring up votes. 77 00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,046 That means hand shaking. Baby kissing. 78 00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,514 Last minute campaigning. 79 00:04:05,582 --> 00:04:06,916 Who gives a shit what you think? 80 00:04:06,983 --> 00:04:08,884 I have faith in me and that's all that matters. 81 00:04:08,952 --> 00:04:10,686 Well, it's a good thing you have faith, 82 00:04:10,754 --> 00:04:11,854 because it's going to take a miracle 83 00:04:11,922 --> 00:04:13,121 for you to win this election. 84 00:04:13,189 --> 00:04:14,657 I refer to my first response: 85 00:04:14,724 --> 00:04:16,124 who gives a shit what you think. 86 00:04:16,192 --> 00:04:18,293 The election is in the bag. 87 00:04:26,001 --> 00:04:27,535 Iris? 88 00:04:30,305 --> 00:04:31,405 NEXT! 89 00:04:31,474 --> 00:04:33,675 C'mon, get out of here. 90 00:04:33,742 --> 00:04:35,843 All right, c'mon, c'mon... 91 00:04:39,781 --> 00:04:41,915 What's up? It's my hip. 92 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:51,958 You are healed. 93 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,559 You didn't even touch me. 94 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,927 I said you're healed. 95 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,161 Now go get your car. Pervert. 96 00:04:56,229 --> 00:04:57,463 Out! 97 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,865 She's the mother fucking messiah! 98 00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,232 Do what she says! 99 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,734 Yeah. I'm the Messiah. 100 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,068 Right, Mommy? 101 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,203 And we're on a tight fucking schedule! 102 00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:07,372 Let's go! NEXT! 103 00:05:07,439 --> 00:05:09,908 All right, sweet cheeks, what's up? 104 00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:15,847 Iris? 105 00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:18,383 Hi... 106 00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,118 How did you find me? 107 00:05:20,185 --> 00:05:21,520 Actually... 108 00:05:21,587 --> 00:05:23,754 I'm here for the miracle. 109 00:05:23,822 --> 00:05:25,088 It seemed too good to be true 110 00:05:25,156 --> 00:05:26,957 but I had to see for myself. 111 00:05:27,025 --> 00:05:29,026 It is a miracle, Iris... 112 00:05:29,093 --> 00:05:31,529 Us running into each other like this. 113 00:05:31,596 --> 00:05:33,797 I could escort you to the tent, if you want. 114 00:05:33,865 --> 00:05:36,967 And then... 115 00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:40,369 ...maybe we can go for ice cream. 116 00:05:40,437 --> 00:05:44,306 You and me? Like, a date? 117 00:05:44,374 --> 00:05:47,911 Oh, you don't need to call it that. 118 00:05:47,978 --> 00:05:49,378 Unless you want to. 119 00:05:49,446 --> 00:05:50,747 Which is fine. Or not. 120 00:05:50,814 --> 00:05:53,583 Is it fine? 121 00:05:53,651 --> 00:05:57,586 Iris, I don't think it's an accident 122 00:05:57,654 --> 00:06:00,055 you wandered onto this lot. 123 00:06:00,122 --> 00:06:03,692 All these weeks, you and me and the specter 124 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,962 of the deceased creatures who we both once loved. 125 00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:11,498 It's fate, Iris. 126 00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:15,402 Our very own miracle! 127 00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:17,972 No, Larry. It isn't. 128 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,907 It isn't that at all. 129 00:06:30,318 --> 00:06:33,153 ? Money, money, money ? 130 00:06:33,221 --> 00:06:34,654 Tax free profit. 131 00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,122 Hallefuckinglujah. 132 00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:38,224 We always were great business partners, Lainey. 133 00:06:38,292 --> 00:06:39,425 Shitty parents. 134 00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:40,893 Nightmare marriage. 135 00:06:40,961 --> 00:06:44,097 But goddamn geniuses when it came to pushing tin. 136 00:06:44,164 --> 00:06:45,598 I am the messiah! 137 00:06:45,665 --> 00:06:47,266 Is it too much to ask for a soda 138 00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:48,734 and a clean goddamn dressing room?! 139 00:06:48,802 --> 00:06:50,236 We have to get the little douchebag under control. 140 00:06:50,304 --> 00:06:52,437 Jesus freaks like their shit clean. 141 00:06:53,839 --> 00:06:55,207 A church? 142 00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:57,342 You fucking kidding me? 143 00:06:57,410 --> 00:06:59,043 What's he doing here? 144 00:06:59,112 --> 00:07:00,579 A freak show I could understand. 145 00:07:00,646 --> 00:07:01,980 "Come see the bearded lady." 146 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,182 I told you I had electrolysis! Now fuck off! 147 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,584 This is my miracle! 148 00:07:05,651 --> 00:07:08,486 Daddy! I want him out of here now! 149 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,454 These suckers wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. 150 00:07:13,024 --> 00:07:15,326 It was my idea to kill her in the first place! 151 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,860 You'll all be fucking sorry 152 00:07:16,928 --> 00:07:19,029 when I win the election and shut this shit show down! 153 00:07:19,097 --> 00:07:21,398 Better start praying for a miracle, Fucker. 154 00:07:21,466 --> 00:07:24,101 Because I'm telling everyone to vote for Chester Vince! 155 00:07:24,168 --> 00:07:25,701 Before or after you shave? 156 00:07:25,769 --> 00:07:27,003 Hey, watch the suit! 157 00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:28,505 You need a time out, Mister. 158 00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:30,140 Me? She started it! 159 00:07:30,207 --> 00:07:32,008 She's always ruining my shit! 160 00:07:32,075 --> 00:07:33,143 Breaking my toys! 161 00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:34,444 Now my campaign! 162 00:07:34,512 --> 00:07:35,978 Hit the bricks! 163 00:07:36,046 --> 00:07:37,647 And you can tell those curry packers across the road 164 00:07:37,714 --> 00:07:39,749 Ken Fitzpatrick is back. 165 00:07:39,816 --> 00:07:41,650 And Elaine Fitzpatrick. 166 00:07:41,717 --> 00:07:43,018 Yeah, her too. 167 00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:46,288 Fuck you -- all of you! 168 00:07:46,356 --> 00:07:47,856 Bye-bye, Richard! 169 00:07:48,958 --> 00:07:50,392 Divide and conquer. 170 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,594 I deal with Joan of Bark here. 171 00:07:52,662 --> 00:07:54,829 You make sure numb-nuts doesn't fuck up my scam. 172 00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,597 Our scam. 173 00:07:56,665 --> 00:07:57,931 That's what I said. 174 00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:06,006 Eat my scraps, asshole! 175 00:08:06,074 --> 00:08:07,941 I need more fucking ketchup! 176 00:08:08,009 --> 00:08:09,910 Squirt bottle! 177 00:08:09,978 --> 00:08:11,546 Out of the trough, Legs. 178 00:08:11,613 --> 00:08:13,647 We need to shore up votes. And fast. 179 00:08:13,714 --> 00:08:15,915 Oh, look who's decided to wake up and give a shit. 180 00:08:15,983 --> 00:08:17,350 After last week's little debacle, 181 00:08:17,418 --> 00:08:18,652 you still think we have a shot? 182 00:08:18,719 --> 00:08:20,187 I don't need a shot. I'm the fucking pistol. 183 00:08:20,254 --> 00:08:21,621 Now move! 184 00:08:21,689 --> 00:08:23,256 Don't talk to me like I'm one of your minions. 185 00:08:23,324 --> 00:08:24,691 I busted my ass for this campaign 186 00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:26,193 and look what it got me. 187 00:08:26,260 --> 00:08:28,527 Fine. Put the wings on my tab. 188 00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:29,928 Fuck you. 189 00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:32,030 I am responsible for my own failed career, 190 00:08:32,098 --> 00:08:36,101 my bad choice of business partner, my stress eating. 191 00:08:36,169 --> 00:08:37,269 Wow. 192 00:08:37,337 --> 00:08:39,871 Melody Gray was right about you. 193 00:08:39,939 --> 00:08:41,907 What did she say? 194 00:08:41,974 --> 00:08:44,109 You tell me, Cankles. 195 00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:45,610 I was big boned 196 00:08:45,678 --> 00:08:47,912 and I had a note to get out of that fitness test. 197 00:08:47,979 --> 00:08:49,581 I am not a quitter. 198 00:08:52,918 --> 00:08:54,018 Fine. 199 00:08:54,086 --> 00:08:55,986 But I'm doing this for me. 200 00:08:56,054 --> 00:08:57,422 Not you. 201 00:08:57,489 --> 00:08:58,889 Me. 202 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,493 Any day now. 203 00:09:15,573 --> 00:09:17,607 Scotch. 204 00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:20,576 Vodka. 205 00:09:20,644 --> 00:09:22,278 Better make it a triple, Old Lady, 206 00:09:22,346 --> 00:09:24,247 because after I get through with you and Molly Mormon, 207 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,048 you're gonna need it. 208 00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,916 You always were a poor loser. 209 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,585 Says the woman who rigged 'pin the tail on the donkey' 210 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:30,853 at my birthday party 211 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:32,587 so she could fuck the winner's old man. 212 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,689 I should be thanking you, actually. 213 00:09:34,757 --> 00:09:36,891 You and your sister are finally paying off. 214 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:39,261 The only reason we had you shit dispensers 215 00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,062 was so we could make money. 216 00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,665 You mean that bullshit angle Ken's playing? 217 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,300 That's short term. 218 00:09:45,368 --> 00:09:47,335 I get into office, you can make some real coin. 219 00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:49,536 You really think you're going to win. 220 00:09:49,604 --> 00:09:51,138 Better fucking believe it. 221 00:09:51,205 --> 00:09:52,806 Know what I believe? 222 00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:55,075 You don't have a shot in hell. 223 00:09:55,143 --> 00:09:58,279 Ken's going to fuck you over just like he always does. 224 00:10:00,782 --> 00:10:04,251 You can't con a conner, Kid. 225 00:10:04,318 --> 00:10:07,487 Just stay out of our way. 226 00:10:14,261 --> 00:10:16,429 You're gonna vote for me, right, Charlie? 227 00:10:16,497 --> 00:10:18,298 You gonna find another place to drink? 228 00:10:24,437 --> 00:10:26,505 Vote for Fitz! 229 00:11:06,244 --> 00:11:10,279 Stop it. He's not even worth it. 230 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,886 She loves me not. 231 00:11:18,722 --> 00:11:20,356 She loves me not. 232 00:11:21,391 --> 00:11:23,092 She still loves me not. 233 00:11:24,694 --> 00:11:25,861 Oh, fuck. 234 00:11:25,928 --> 00:11:27,495 Don't you have somewhere else to be? 235 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:30,332 I am upset. 236 00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:32,267 And you should eat something first. 237 00:11:32,335 --> 00:11:34,202 You'll need your strength for what lies ahead. 238 00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:36,004 Women looking for miracles, 239 00:11:36,072 --> 00:11:39,207 and men unable to give them. 240 00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:41,175 When will you learn, Larry. 241 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:42,809 Pussies don't get pussy. 242 00:11:42,878 --> 00:11:44,544 Love is a battlefield, Richard. 243 00:11:44,612 --> 00:11:46,947 And this soldier has lost the war. 244 00:11:47,015 --> 00:11:48,249 Nu uh. 245 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,484 The battle is over when I say it's over. 246 00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:54,488 You really think I have a chance with Iris? 247 00:11:54,555 --> 00:11:56,156 Fuck Iris. 248 00:11:56,224 --> 00:11:58,892 I prefer the term "go for ice cream". 249 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:03,496 That's it... 250 00:12:03,563 --> 00:12:05,531 Steal support... 251 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:06,933 Win votes... 252 00:12:07,001 --> 00:12:08,134 Blow shit up... 253 00:12:08,202 --> 00:12:09,602 I never said any of that. 254 00:12:09,669 --> 00:12:11,704 Then I'll say it for you, Rumpcrunch. 255 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,973 Two words -- mother fucking holy war. 256 00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,275 That's four words. 257 00:12:16,342 --> 00:12:18,410 Yeah. It worked in Iraq. 258 00:12:18,477 --> 00:12:19,878 It worked in Afghanistan. 259 00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:22,580 And tomorrow, it's gonna work for me. 260 00:12:31,589 --> 00:12:33,791 Get your jihadist asses out here! 261 00:12:33,858 --> 00:12:35,159 Who is dead now? 262 00:12:35,227 --> 00:12:36,827 Or perhaps you wish to subject us 263 00:12:36,895 --> 00:12:38,429 to more racial stereotypes. 264 00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,731 What the fuck, Josh? No. 265 00:12:40,799 --> 00:12:42,566 I just need you to help me blow up a church. 266 00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,568 Wicked. On it, Buddy. 267 00:12:44,636 --> 00:12:45,835 What about our holy oath 268 00:12:45,903 --> 00:12:47,337 to not help him with his plans anymore? 269 00:12:47,405 --> 00:12:48,538 Oh right. 270 00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:49,739 Solidarity, Cousin. 271 00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:50,907 You are no cousin of mine. 272 00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,208 Look, you don't like me, 273 00:12:52,276 --> 00:12:53,643 and I sure as hell don't like you. 274 00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:55,078 But there's a bigger threat out there. 275 00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:56,779 Godzilla. 276 00:12:56,847 --> 00:12:59,983 No, my family is carpet bombing your customers and my voters. 277 00:13:00,051 --> 00:13:01,650 We've got to take them down. 278 00:13:01,717 --> 00:13:04,086 Two birds. One bomb. 279 00:13:04,154 --> 00:13:05,720 Sales have declined. 280 00:13:05,788 --> 00:13:07,456 Joining forces with our mortal enemy 281 00:13:07,523 --> 00:13:09,758 may be the solution we need. 282 00:13:09,826 --> 00:13:12,127 This is the Soviets all over again... 283 00:13:13,629 --> 00:13:15,230 I am not going on that stage 284 00:13:15,298 --> 00:13:18,299 until I get a new pillow, lip balm, and my theater tickets. 285 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:21,235 And by the way, why are there no towels in my change room? 286 00:13:21,303 --> 00:13:24,405 I can't work under these conditions.... 287 00:13:24,473 --> 00:13:26,074 What a fucking prima donna. 288 00:13:26,141 --> 00:13:27,575 She gets that from you! 289 00:13:27,642 --> 00:13:29,777 Divide and conquer, dipshit. 290 00:13:29,845 --> 00:13:31,879 What the fuck have you been doing all day? 291 00:13:31,947 --> 00:13:33,546 Do you know how long it takes to adjust the lighting 292 00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:36,350 so people don't think she's the fucking antichrist? 293 00:13:36,417 --> 00:13:38,518 You take care of the little slut bucket. 294 00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,786 Hello? 295 00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:41,521 I'm trying to keep cock snot's 296 00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:43,490 sticky little fingers out of our pot. 297 00:13:43,557 --> 00:13:46,960 Complaining about our demon spawn. 298 00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:49,528 This is so "us". 299 00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,762 Don't worry about this shit, Lainey. 300 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,598 This shit will work itself out. 301 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,500 We're winners, you and me. 302 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,002 And we're back in the green. 303 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,370 And by the way... 304 00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,837 Don't get me started about the audience. 305 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,606 Who vets these people? 306 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,375 Burn, infidel! How did all the fatties end up down front? 307 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:10,248 What kind of retard forgets to light a Molotov cocktail? 308 00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:11,782 You idiot! 309 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,885 Where did you go to terrorist school? 310 00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:15,320 Hey! He didn't. 311 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,622 I do have a Bachelor in Fine Arts. 312 00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:19,957 Cut him some slack. It's his first holy war. 313 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,426 As usual, I've got to do everything myself. 314 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:26,930 Come one, come all! 315 00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:28,732 To see the real miracle! 316 00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:30,634 Why worship the resurrected, 317 00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:33,137 when you can worship, and vote for, 318 00:14:33,204 --> 00:14:34,638 the RESURRECTOR! 319 00:14:34,705 --> 00:14:37,173 And get free cars. 320 00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:40,143 For a reasonable monetary donation. 321 00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:41,677 That snakey fuck. 322 00:14:41,745 --> 00:14:43,812 See the man responsible 323 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,315 for raising the bearded lady from the dead! 324 00:14:46,383 --> 00:14:47,483 Fuck you! 325 00:14:47,551 --> 00:14:49,185 I do not have a beard! 326 00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:50,886 Yes you do! 327 00:14:50,954 --> 00:14:53,388 Come back and worship my daughter! 328 00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,359 You want to believe in something? 329 00:14:57,427 --> 00:14:59,561 I'll tell you what to believe in -- 330 00:14:59,628 --> 00:15:02,297 Richard Fitzpatrick for City Council! 331 00:15:02,365 --> 00:15:04,599 No! 332 00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:07,969 There shall be no other gods except me! 333 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:09,770 Especially not my stupid brother! 334 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,541 Come on, you guys! 335 00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:14,942 This is dealing with him? 336 00:15:15,009 --> 00:15:17,378 You always were too soft on these kids. 337 00:15:17,446 --> 00:15:20,981 Don't worry, hot stuff - I got this. 338 00:15:27,354 --> 00:15:28,821 You! 339 00:15:28,889 --> 00:15:31,291 No, dear god. No. 340 00:15:31,358 --> 00:15:34,060 Please just make it quick. 341 00:15:34,128 --> 00:15:35,361 Relax. 342 00:15:35,429 --> 00:15:37,130 My shithead kid is messing up my scam 343 00:15:37,198 --> 00:15:38,631 with my other shithead kid. 344 00:15:38,699 --> 00:15:40,100 You're the only one that can talk sense 345 00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:41,500 into that ass baby. 346 00:15:41,568 --> 00:15:43,702 I want you to go over there and do it now. 347 00:15:44,770 --> 00:15:45,904 I can't help you. 348 00:15:45,972 --> 00:15:47,038 I can't help anyone. 349 00:15:47,107 --> 00:15:49,074 I can't even help myself. 350 00:15:49,142 --> 00:15:51,243 What's with the pity party, fuck face? 351 00:15:51,311 --> 00:15:53,044 It's no one. 352 00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:57,548 Just a sweet angel who took my heart in her delicate fingers, 353 00:15:57,616 --> 00:16:00,918 and then ravaged it like a Polynesian cannibal. 354 00:16:00,986 --> 00:16:02,253 And I don't even know why. 355 00:16:02,321 --> 00:16:03,554 I'll tell you why. 356 00:16:03,622 --> 00:16:06,324 You're a spineless yes man to a dirtbag. 357 00:16:06,391 --> 00:16:07,992 What woman wants that? 358 00:16:08,059 --> 00:16:09,594 You're right. 359 00:16:09,661 --> 00:16:11,862 And you know what else? 360 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,097 I killed a bird. 361 00:16:14,165 --> 00:16:16,633 No wonder Iris finds me repulsive. 362 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,335 Oh. A dead bird. 363 00:16:18,402 --> 00:16:19,436 That's the reason. 364 00:16:19,504 --> 00:16:20,537 I know. 365 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:21,738 Look, Nancy-- It's Larry. 366 00:16:21,805 --> 00:16:23,272 Look, Nancy, grow a set. 367 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:24,941 It's time you took a stand. 368 00:16:25,009 --> 00:16:27,343 Call bullshit when it stinks. 369 00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:30,847 Yeah, it's my responsibility to show the public 370 00:16:30,914 --> 00:16:32,649 that Richard isn't what he says he is... 371 00:16:32,716 --> 00:16:34,583 that there are no such things as miracles... 372 00:16:34,652 --> 00:16:35,985 Make it quick, Slim Jim. 373 00:16:36,053 --> 00:16:38,486 I've got a fake church to salvage. 374 00:16:38,554 --> 00:16:39,788 Good talk. 375 00:16:41,958 --> 00:16:43,525 Vodka. Make it snappy. 376 00:16:48,031 --> 00:16:50,065 My sister was dead. 377 00:16:50,133 --> 00:16:52,400 And at her grave, 378 00:16:52,468 --> 00:16:56,103 I asked the Lord to return her. 379 00:16:56,171 --> 00:16:57,772 For she was innocent. 380 00:16:57,839 --> 00:17:03,010 Unstable, yes, unattractive, yes, 381 00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:04,879 but she was innocent. 382 00:17:04,946 --> 00:17:09,049 And I felt something surge through me 383 00:17:09,116 --> 00:17:12,118 as I touched my dead sister. 384 00:17:13,688 --> 00:17:16,622 No! It was the Lord's power. 385 00:17:16,691 --> 00:17:20,293 Blessed be Jesus, zombie maker. 386 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,795 We talked about this. 387 00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:23,096 She's not a zombie. 388 00:17:23,164 --> 00:17:24,597 It was the cannabis. 389 00:17:24,665 --> 00:17:29,134 Praised be to the blue eyed devil, Fitz! 390 00:17:29,202 --> 00:17:32,938 Anyway, vote Fitz, and when I'm in office, 391 00:17:33,006 --> 00:17:37,843 I'll resurrect anyone and anything you desire. 392 00:17:37,911 --> 00:17:39,812 Are you sure about that? 393 00:17:39,879 --> 00:17:43,447 Yes, that's why all these good people are here today. 394 00:17:43,515 --> 00:17:44,782 Am I right? 395 00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:46,951 Then resurrect this-- 396 00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:48,920 --Titmouse. 397 00:17:48,987 --> 00:17:50,221 That's right! 398 00:17:50,288 --> 00:17:51,522 A dead bird. 399 00:17:51,590 --> 00:17:55,927 Surely no match for the resurrector. 400 00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:58,028 I'm calling bull... 401 00:17:58,096 --> 00:18:01,397 poop that smells, Mister. 402 00:18:01,465 --> 00:18:02,699 What the fuck are you doing? 403 00:18:02,767 --> 00:18:05,902 Taking a stand and telling everyone here 404 00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:09,439 that he faked his own sister's death. 405 00:18:11,776 --> 00:18:14,576 Hey, where you going? Come back! 406 00:18:14,644 --> 00:18:15,778 What happened, Richard? 407 00:18:15,846 --> 00:18:18,547 What happened to the Last Honest Man? 408 00:18:18,615 --> 00:18:20,883 Ice cream! 409 00:18:23,453 --> 00:18:24,787 Ice cream! 410 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,099 Problem solved, Baby... 411 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,471 It's not what it looks like. 412 00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:46,506 Fuck, Lainey. 413 00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:48,008 The gay mafia's after me. 414 00:18:48,076 --> 00:18:49,542 I need this cash. 415 00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:52,545 I can't go find some rich fuck like you. 416 00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:55,649 All I got is my sparkling personality and this scam. 417 00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:57,617 And me. 418 00:18:57,685 --> 00:18:59,186 I wasn't going to take you. 419 00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:01,453 But I rose from the dead! 420 00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:02,822 You said this was our thing. 421 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:05,024 You said if I helped hide this from Mom-- 422 00:19:10,197 --> 00:19:12,598 The little shit was right about you! 423 00:19:18,570 --> 00:19:20,071 Fuck. 424 00:19:21,674 --> 00:19:23,675 Lainey! 425 00:19:30,749 --> 00:19:32,750 Go get me a scotch. 426 00:19:32,818 --> 00:19:33,818 Fuck you. 427 00:19:33,885 --> 00:19:35,786 All of you. 428 00:19:35,854 --> 00:19:38,588 From this moment forward, I am emancipating myself 429 00:19:38,656 --> 00:19:41,325 from this family! 430 00:19:41,392 --> 00:19:43,294 Now that's a fucking miracle. 431 00:20:15,358 --> 00:20:17,292 You think I'm going to roll over for you, Chester? 432 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,928 You think I don't know that leadership requires sacrifice? 433 00:20:20,996 --> 00:20:22,763 You think I wouldn't be able to bury people alive 434 00:20:22,831 --> 00:20:24,932 to ensure the survival of my country? 435 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,569 I know that sometimes you have to chop someone's head off! 436 00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,137 I'm just as tough as Idi Amin. 437 00:20:30,205 --> 00:20:32,974 I'm just as tough as any of those motherfuckers! 438 00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:55,627 Ow... ow... 439 00:21:05,171 --> 00:21:08,274 It's over for good this time, Roger. 440 00:21:08,341 --> 00:21:10,275 May I call you Roger? 441 00:21:14,113 --> 00:21:16,047 Iris-- 442 00:21:16,115 --> 00:21:18,116 Don't speak. 443 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,421 I'm sorry I ran away before. 444 00:21:23,488 --> 00:21:25,088 Things are complicated. 445 00:21:25,156 --> 00:21:27,925 But so what, right? 446 00:21:27,992 --> 00:21:30,260 Tell that to the titmouse. 447 00:21:32,663 --> 00:21:36,166 I would like to go for ice cream with you. 448 00:21:36,234 --> 00:21:38,335 So much ice cream. 449 00:21:38,403 --> 00:21:39,937 I would like to go for ice cream with you 450 00:21:40,004 --> 00:21:42,071 more than you could ever imagine. 451 00:21:47,244 --> 00:21:51,647 I told Richard miracles don't happen 452 00:21:51,714 --> 00:21:55,084 but this is a miracle. 453 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,420 Oh, Iris -- 454 00:21:58,487 --> 00:22:01,990 There is just one thing I need to do. 455 00:22:02,058 --> 00:22:04,759 I know, Larry. 456 00:22:04,827 --> 00:22:06,894 Would you just... Thanks. 457 00:22:13,168 --> 00:22:17,037 This is Melody Gray reporting live outside City Hall. 458 00:22:17,105 --> 00:22:21,541 Exit polls show Chester Vince with a commanding lead. 459 00:22:21,609 --> 00:22:23,777 No doubt this is in response to this reporter's 460 00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:26,146 shocking expos� of local lothario 461 00:22:26,214 --> 00:22:27,848 and rumored polygamist cult leader, 462 00:22:27,915 --> 00:22:30,216 Richard Fitzpatrick. 463 00:22:30,284 --> 00:22:32,185 The dream is dead, Fitz. 464 00:22:34,921 --> 00:22:37,090 Josh, how many times do I have to tell you, 465 00:22:37,157 --> 00:22:38,958 a bookstore is not a strip club. 466 00:22:39,026 --> 00:22:40,693 Larry paid me to bring you here. 467 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,061 In coffee. 468 00:22:42,129 --> 00:22:43,829 I got nothing to say to that backstabber. 469 00:22:43,897 --> 00:22:46,465 There are miracles, Richard. 470 00:22:46,532 --> 00:22:48,100 There are. 471 00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:49,234 Iris came back to me. 472 00:22:49,302 --> 00:22:50,869 Good. 473 00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:54,139 That makes up for the shit storm you turned my life into. 474 00:22:54,207 --> 00:22:55,240 I know you're upset. 475 00:22:55,308 --> 00:22:56,475 And, as your conscience, 476 00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,477 I feel you deserve one last shot. 477 00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,545 And I deserve a coffee. 478 00:23:00,613 --> 00:23:02,113 We may be down in the polls. Broke. 479 00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:04,281 And have lost the holy war. 480 00:23:04,349 --> 00:23:06,450 But there is one thing you have not tried. 481 00:23:06,518 --> 00:23:07,951 The pumpkin scones. 482 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,820 They're amazing. 483 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,655 Prayer. 484 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,057 Fuck off, Larry. 485 00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:14,992 All that faith crap was just bullshit. 486 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,293 Since you're banned from... 487 00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:17,760 every church in town, 488 00:23:17,828 --> 00:23:19,195 I thought we could try the theology section. 489 00:23:19,263 --> 00:23:22,865 Still holy and thirty percent off. 490 00:23:22,933 --> 00:23:25,402 Please Richard, one little prayer. 491 00:23:25,469 --> 00:23:28,171 How can it hurt? 492 00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:31,307 I'll buy you a coffee. 493 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:34,476 Fine. Tall half skinny one percent extra hot split 494 00:23:34,544 --> 00:23:36,811 quad shot half sweet caramel macchiato. 495 00:23:36,879 --> 00:23:39,648 No whip. Okay, whip. 496 00:23:39,715 --> 00:23:41,716 Chocolate sprinkles? I'm not gay. 497 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,922 After all, how can this city be expected 498 00:23:46,989 --> 00:23:49,390 to trust a councillor who can't even make good 499 00:23:49,458 --> 00:23:52,326 on a promise to resurrect a dead bird? 500 00:23:52,394 --> 00:23:53,928 And with the polls about to close, 501 00:23:53,995 --> 00:23:55,796 this reporter is confident 502 00:23:55,864 --> 00:23:58,533 in declaring Chester Vince the winner. 503 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,134 We'll see about that. 504 00:24:10,078 --> 00:24:11,978 Hey, God. 505 00:24:12,046 --> 00:24:13,547 It's me, Fitz. 506 00:24:13,614 --> 00:24:15,415 I need to speak to Frank. 507 00:24:16,451 --> 00:24:19,886 Uh...hey, Frank. 508 00:24:19,954 --> 00:24:24,190 I don't know if you're listening, but how you doin'? 509 00:24:24,257 --> 00:24:26,258 Hope that bus crash with the cheerleaders last week 510 00:24:26,326 --> 00:24:29,661 spiced the party up a bit, know what I mean? 511 00:24:29,729 --> 00:24:32,064 Fuck, I don't know what I mean. 512 00:24:34,434 --> 00:24:37,002 Fuck, Frank. 513 00:24:37,070 --> 00:24:39,937 A guy needs a break once in a while, you know? 514 00:24:40,005 --> 00:24:43,007 Cold streak's gotta end. 515 00:24:43,075 --> 00:24:46,377 I'm a good guy... 516 00:24:46,445 --> 00:24:49,481 Look, here's the thing. 517 00:24:49,548 --> 00:24:51,249 I'm having a kid. 518 00:24:51,317 --> 00:24:53,517 ...And I don't want the little fucker 519 00:24:53,585 --> 00:24:56,653 to think I'm a loser like my old man. 520 00:24:56,721 --> 00:25:00,324 I got to win this fucking election. 521 00:25:00,391 --> 00:25:01,725 Throw me a bone, will ya, Frank? 522 00:25:01,792 --> 00:25:03,260 Fitz? 523 00:25:03,328 --> 00:25:04,894 Oh, and... 524 00:25:04,962 --> 00:25:07,697 If you could you make sure he's got a decent head of hair. 525 00:25:07,765 --> 00:25:10,266 No tail. 526 00:25:10,334 --> 00:25:12,034 Amen. 527 00:25:23,514 --> 00:25:24,947 Good enough. 528 00:25:28,484 --> 00:25:31,853 This is Melody Gray reporting live outside City Hall. 529 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,656 And I am getting the official announcement now... 530 00:25:34,723 --> 00:25:36,924 You've got to be fucking kidding me. 531 00:25:36,992 --> 00:25:38,726 Richard Fitzpatrick won? 532 00:25:38,794 --> 00:25:40,962 Ha ha! That's right, Fuckers! 533 00:25:41,030 --> 00:25:42,062 Fitz won! 534 00:25:42,130 --> 00:25:43,797 And I won it for him! 535 00:25:43,865 --> 00:25:45,466 Woo hoo! 536 00:25:45,534 --> 00:25:48,569 Suck it, Coverton! Suck it hard! 537 00:25:48,637 --> 00:25:50,638 Yeah! 538 00:25:51,838 --> 00:26:02,740 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 539 00:26:02,790 --> 00:26:07,340 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37092

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