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1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,508
You know sometimes a 21 minute
15 second episode of Broad City
2
00:00:03,515 --> 00:00:06,170
isn't enough of the world
of Broad City for me.
3
00:00:06,177 --> 00:00:07,209
No, me neither.
4
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:09,652
Right after this episode you
are gonna get behind the scenes
5
00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:13,070
exclusive footage of how
our show Broad City is made.
6
00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:15,698
It is like a behind the
curtain look at Broad City.
7
00:00:15,705 --> 00:00:18,204
Very informative and
you're gonna dig it.
8
00:00:18,211 --> 00:00:20,551
Stay tuned after the episode
for a behind the scenes
9
00:00:20,558 --> 00:00:22,274
look at the making of Broad City.
10
00:00:22,281 --> 00:00:24,673
- I love a good BTS
- Me too.
11
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,236
- I love a hot BTS
- BTS to the BTS, baby.
12
00:00:28,226 --> 00:00:29,615
(BOBBI) Driver, I'm dying in here.
13
00:00:29,622 --> 00:00:31,171
Can't you get the air up a little bit?
14
00:00:31,202 --> 00:00:32,962
(ELIOT) Mom, don't call him driver.
15
00:00:32,969 --> 00:00:35,054
Yeah, they call this security, this guy.
16
00:00:35,061 --> 00:00:37,046
Like, he's gonna stop anybody, huh?
17
00:00:37,053 --> 00:00:38,529
Esther Baumgarten?
18
00:00:38,536 --> 00:00:40,931
No. No, that's my mother. She's dead.
19
00:00:41,126 --> 00:00:43,342
- Huh?
- Dead! She's dead!
20
00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:44,977
Okay, go ahead.
21
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:48,514
(BOBBI) God, I needed to be slapped
in the face with this Vitamin D.
22
00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,182
I could feel my mustache lightening.
23
00:00:50,189 --> 00:00:52,537
Yup, you told us and the TSA guy.
24
00:00:52,544 --> 00:00:54,910
Oh, please, you're just grumpy
'cause you lost your luggage.
25
00:00:54,917 --> 00:00:57,060
Yeah, I got this amazing suitcase
26
00:00:57,067 --> 00:00:59,219
that I saw on Refinery29.
27
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:02,067
- It's the one that Drew...
- Barrymore recommends.
28
00:01:02,074 --> 00:01:04,141
Oh, Eliot, I am so sorry for your loss.
29
00:01:05,752 --> 00:01:07,561
(BOBBI) It's insane that
didn't do carry-on.
30
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,201
But, look, I had to check.
31
00:01:09,208 --> 00:01:11,098
I had my shampoo and my conditioner.
32
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,572
And it's made especially
for the humid... ity.
33
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:14,907
Oh, yikes.
34
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:17,142
Oh, I love it. Oh, no.
35
00:01:17,149 --> 00:01:18,415
Welcome to Florida.
36
00:01:18,430 --> 00:01:20,564
America's droopy dick.
37
00:01:20,571 --> 00:01:23,215
? Four and three and two and one-one ?
38
00:01:23,222 --> 00:01:24,985
??
39
00:01:24,992 --> 00:01:27,486
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
40
00:01:27,659 --> 00:01:29,650
(BOBBI) You know what?
You could hold my purse.
41
00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:30,889
Oh, thanks.
42
00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,991
Ab, something I've meaning
to talk to you about.
43
00:01:32,998 --> 00:01:34,313
And I don't wanna offend.
44
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,398
I really, really think
45
00:01:36,405 --> 00:01:38,754
you need to change your
profile picture on Facebook.
46
00:01:38,761 --> 00:01:41,144
- You're not doing yourself any favors.
- Okay.
47
00:01:41,151 --> 00:01:42,848
Why are you guys even
friends on Facebook?
48
00:01:42,855 --> 00:01:45,385
What do you mean? I'm friends with
all your friends on Facebook.
49
00:01:45,392 --> 00:01:47,076
And I got news for you. They request me.
50
00:01:47,178 --> 00:01:48,677
She's right, I mean, I did.
51
00:01:48,779 --> 00:01:50,479
A couple of times, actually.
52
00:01:50,664 --> 00:01:52,497
God, do you feel this Florida sun?
53
00:01:52,516 --> 00:01:53,716
I am loving it.
54
00:01:53,723 --> 00:01:55,564
- Bobbi Wexler!
- Jesus!
55
00:01:55,578 --> 00:01:56,677
What, this?
56
00:01:57,154 --> 00:01:59,221
It's called "Stand
Your Ground," snowflakes.
57
00:01:59,323 --> 00:02:00,384
Hi, Eleanor.
58
00:02:00,391 --> 00:02:01,857
We're meeting my sister upstairs.
59
00:02:01,864 --> 00:02:04,121
We're here to clean out Mom's
apartment before it's sold.
60
00:02:04,128 --> 00:02:06,862
These are my three beautiful children.
61
00:02:06,964 --> 00:02:09,598
These are Esther's grandchildren?
62
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:12,067
Oh! Come, give me a big hug!
63
00:02:12,074 --> 00:02:13,597
- A group hug...
- How nice to meet you.
64
00:02:13,604 --> 00:02:14,730
- (GUNSHOT)
- Ahh!
65
00:02:14,737 --> 00:02:17,206
- What? What?
- [BLEEP] Florida.
66
00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:19,747
??
67
00:02:21,178 --> 00:02:22,611
Hello, hello, hello!
68
00:02:22,713 --> 00:02:24,880
Beverly Baumgarten, we're here!
69
00:02:24,982 --> 00:02:26,048
Hi, there!
70
00:02:26,150 --> 00:02:27,416
(ALL) Hi!
71
00:02:27,518 --> 00:02:29,651
Aunt Bev, you look jah-mazing!
72
00:02:29,808 --> 00:02:33,109
Oh, you know, one SoulCycle a month ago,
73
00:02:33,157 --> 00:02:35,057
and I swear I'm still sweating.
74
00:02:35,159 --> 00:02:36,392
Otherwise known as a hot flash.
75
00:02:36,494 --> 00:02:37,693
Ooh!
76
00:02:37,795 --> 00:02:40,062
(BEV) Abbi, you're so much prettier
77
00:02:40,164 --> 00:02:42,331
than that pic of yours on Facebook.
78
00:02:42,338 --> 00:02:43,599
(BOBBI) Right, I told her that.
79
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,121
Let me see this manicure.
80
00:02:45,128 --> 00:02:46,497
What is that, "Trophy Wife"?
81
00:02:46,504 --> 00:02:48,036
- Second wife.
- (SNIFFING)
82
00:02:48,139 --> 00:02:50,591
- I knew it! She smells of mothballs.
- Oh, here we go.
83
00:02:50,598 --> 00:02:52,576
You started cleaning out
the stuff before me!
84
00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:53,585
No...
85
00:02:53,592 --> 00:02:55,472
You have a lot of nerve
starting before me.
86
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:58,814
I waited an entire year to come
down here because you couldn't
87
00:02:58,916 --> 00:03:01,517
leave the city 'cause you might
be getting "Hamilton" tickets?
88
00:03:01,619 --> 00:03:03,385
Sheryl's niece is dating an usher
89
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:05,387
who could slip us
through the garbage chute,
90
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:07,289
but we had to be ready at any moment.
91
00:03:07,296 --> 00:03:08,595
At any moment!
92
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,666
(BOBBI) Don't raise your
voice to me, missy!
93
00:03:10,761 --> 00:03:13,323
I'm the person who taught you
how to insert a diaphragm!
94
00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:15,731
So let's just show a little respect!
95
00:03:19,703 --> 00:03:21,170
We're gonna go to the pool.
96
00:03:21,272 --> 00:03:23,238
(ELIOT) Wait, my bathing
suit is in my suitcase.
97
00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:25,040
What am I gonna wear?
98
00:03:25,142 --> 00:03:28,110
I can't believe I have been
on hold for two hours.
99
00:03:28,212 --> 00:03:30,212
- Mmm.
- Jesus Christ.
100
00:03:30,314 --> 00:03:32,681
Also, this bathing suit is so tight.
101
00:03:32,783 --> 00:03:34,450
I can't believe
Grandpa used to wear this.
102
00:03:34,552 --> 00:03:36,485
Grandpa? That's Grandma Esther's suit.
103
00:03:36,587 --> 00:03:38,520
- What?
- I knew it would fit you, same hips.
104
00:03:38,622 --> 00:03:40,389
Oh, my God, this is humiliating.
105
00:03:40,396 --> 00:03:41,443
Oh, own it, boi.
106
00:03:41,450 --> 00:03:43,826
Enjoy your beautiful body
in a tropical climate.
107
00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:46,200
So much better than disgusting N-Y-C.
108
00:03:46,207 --> 00:03:47,423
So...
109
00:03:47,681 --> 00:03:51,600
The key to sunbathing
is to have a solid tan plan.
110
00:03:51,702 --> 00:03:54,236
First I do my back, then I do my front.
111
00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:56,133
I didn't say it was,
like, a complicated plan.
112
00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:59,041
Okay, so can you help me
put on this 100 SPF?
113
00:03:59,143 --> 00:04:01,310
A dermatologist once told me
that need to wear 100 SPF
114
00:04:01,317 --> 00:04:03,450
because I'm "devastatingly white."
115
00:04:03,457 --> 00:04:04,775
What is it, my [BLEEP] birthday?
116
00:04:04,782 --> 00:04:05,814
Turn around.
117
00:04:05,916 --> 00:04:07,783
El, come on, you need
this too, brother...
118
00:04:07,885 --> 00:04:09,117
Too hot!
119
00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:10,986
Respect.
120
00:04:11,088 --> 00:04:14,223
Excuse me, are you the new
on-site mortician?
121
00:04:14,325 --> 00:04:17,826
I just loved Doris' eyebrows
at her service yesterday.
122
00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:20,491
No, I'm the late Esther
Baumgarten's granddaughter, Ilana.
123
00:04:20,498 --> 00:04:23,832
Oh, you're the one dating
the gangster dentist.
124
00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:28,437
Uh... no, we, uh...
We broke up, actually.
125
00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:30,272
Good for you.
126
00:04:32,877 --> 00:04:34,109
Oh, dude.
127
00:04:34,211 --> 00:04:36,143
- (LAUGHS)
- The gun holder.
128
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:37,383
Amazing.
129
00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:38,690
- (BEV) Pearls.
- (BOBBI) Crap.
130
00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:40,972
Ersatz ruby from Little Richard.
131
00:04:40,979 --> 00:04:43,085
Let's just cut the crap,
Princess Ticklefeather.
132
00:04:43,092 --> 00:04:44,565
Let's talk about the ring.
133
00:04:44,572 --> 00:04:46,088
You really wanna get into that?
134
00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:47,456
You bet your ass I do.
135
00:04:47,558 --> 00:04:48,757
All right, all right.
136
00:04:50,049 --> 00:04:52,227
All right, Mommy would
want me to have it.
137
00:04:52,234 --> 00:04:55,492
- Ha!
- It's probably the only engagement ring
138
00:04:55,499 --> 00:04:57,065
I'm ever gonna have at this point.
139
00:04:57,167 --> 00:04:59,768
You are so full of shit,
I need a plunger.
140
00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:01,904
Mommy would've wanted that ring
141
00:05:02,006 --> 00:05:05,407
to go to Ilana, her only
granddaughter, or Eliot even!
142
00:05:05,509 --> 00:05:08,977
So now I'm being punished
because I don't have children?
143
00:05:09,079 --> 00:05:11,613
- Drama queen.
- You know, I still may.
144
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,820
Man, this place is so magical.
145
00:05:18,923 --> 00:05:20,289
It's got everything.
146
00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:22,190
Sunshine, warmth, greenery.
147
00:05:22,293 --> 00:05:24,192
Oh, my God, is that an orange tree?
148
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:26,495
So legit, from "Mutta" Earth, baby.
149
00:05:26,597 --> 00:05:30,065
Real fruit that hasn't already
been licked by a bodega cat?
150
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:31,567
Oh, God.
151
00:05:31,669 --> 00:05:32,834
Nuts.
152
00:05:32,937 --> 00:05:34,102
Nuts!
153
00:05:34,204 --> 00:05:36,672
Man, I feel so good right now.
154
00:05:36,679 --> 00:05:38,212
I just feel at peace here.
155
00:05:38,219 --> 00:05:41,071
Of course you feel at peace. You don't
have the city grinding you down,
156
00:05:41,078 --> 00:05:43,131
twisting your titties till
you're beggin' for mercy!
157
00:05:43,138 --> 00:05:45,580
Yeah, I don't feel anxiety
at every turn.
158
00:05:45,587 --> 00:05:47,649
There's not, like, danger
lurking at every corner.
159
00:05:47,663 --> 00:05:48,895
Good afternoon.
160
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,315
- Hello.
- Holy shit.
161
00:05:51,322 --> 00:05:53,940
Okay, the gun thing
is actually terrifying.
162
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,153
But other than that,
dude, I'm like... free!
163
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,226
Other than that.
164
00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,173
It's, like, why do we choose
to live in New York?
165
00:05:59,187 --> 00:06:01,893
Why do we want things
to be so [BLEEP] hard?
166
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,746
It's like our lives
are Richard Pryor's dick,
167
00:06:03,753 --> 00:06:05,018
and New York is the cocaine.
168
00:06:05,025 --> 00:06:06,491
Yeah.
169
00:06:06,593 --> 00:06:08,259
Wait, what?
170
00:06:08,361 --> 00:06:10,328
Richard Pryor, dude.
171
00:06:10,430 --> 00:06:13,298
Pam Grier found an actual
buildup of cocaine on her cervix
172
00:06:13,305 --> 00:06:16,306
'cause Richard used to, like, dip his
dick in coke before they had sex
173
00:06:16,313 --> 00:06:18,126
so that it would take him
longer to [BLEEP].
174
00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:19,604
But, it's like, just [BLEEP], man.
175
00:06:19,706 --> 00:06:21,406
[BLEEP] feels amazing.
176
00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:22,940
And that's what New York City is.
177
00:06:23,043 --> 00:06:25,243
One giant delayed orgasm.
178
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,716
Instead of enjoying it now,
179
00:06:26,723 --> 00:06:28,647
we're just suffering through it
so in like 40 years,
180
00:06:28,654 --> 00:06:30,982
we can say, "We did that!
We lived there!"
181
00:06:31,084 --> 00:06:33,551
But until then, we're just
constantly getting [BLEEP]
182
00:06:33,653 --> 00:06:36,154
by Richard Pryor's numb cocaine dick.
183
00:06:36,256 --> 00:06:37,288
(SIGHS)
184
00:06:38,323 --> 00:06:39,549
Oh, an open house.
185
00:06:39,556 --> 00:06:41,549
We should go tomorrow. I bet
they'll have free cookies.
186
00:06:41,556 --> 00:06:44,329
Yeah, I bet they'll have a free toilet!
What? I have to pee.
187
00:06:44,431 --> 00:06:45,930
Oh, let's go.
188
00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:52,442
? Angels live in skies of blue ?
189
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:55,907
Ohh...
190
00:06:56,776 --> 00:06:57,837
(DOOR CLOSES)
191
00:06:57,844 --> 00:06:59,410
- This is huge.
- Yeah, wow.
192
00:06:59,512 --> 00:07:00,745
Hello.
193
00:07:00,847 --> 00:07:02,046
- Hi.
- Hello, sir.
194
00:07:02,148 --> 00:07:03,514
Oh, my gosh, Ilana, look.
195
00:07:03,616 --> 00:07:05,917
The kitchen is its own room
and the windows...
196
00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:07,418
It's a home.
197
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,053
Oh, a home, we don't have those.
198
00:07:09,155 --> 00:07:10,621
We have New York City apartments.
199
00:07:10,724 --> 00:07:12,090
Well, this place has it all.
200
00:07:12,192 --> 00:07:15,460
A lanai, prune juice on tap.
201
00:07:15,562 --> 00:07:18,363
Life Alert buttons in every corner.
202
00:07:18,465 --> 00:07:19,931
So, um...
203
00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:22,934
I don't know, how much is
this place, uh, going for?
204
00:07:23,036 --> 00:07:24,435
$425.
205
00:07:24,623 --> 00:07:26,290
425 a night, yeah, times 30 nights,
206
00:07:26,306 --> 00:07:29,974
that's $12,000 a month.
No, $425 a month.
207
00:07:31,378 --> 00:07:32,510
Ugh.
208
00:07:34,376 --> 00:07:35,695
- We'll take it.
- We'll take it.
209
00:07:35,702 --> 00:07:37,477
- I could see us living here...
- Dying here.
210
00:07:37,484 --> 00:07:39,963
I think that we could put, like,
the sofa... They have a lot of...
211
00:07:39,970 --> 00:07:41,947
I mean, normally,
212
00:07:41,954 --> 00:07:45,291
you have to be over 55 years of
age to rent in this community.
213
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,298
Ohh...
214
00:07:46,305 --> 00:07:49,763
But you are a Darlington Lakes legacy.
215
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,003
Yeah, I mean...
216
00:07:51,010 --> 00:07:53,345
we could sign a year-long
lease right now.
217
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:57,104
Listen, there's already another
couple who's interested.
218
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:59,859
And they are the right age.
219
00:08:02,217 --> 00:08:03,310
But...
220
00:08:03,771 --> 00:08:06,069
Why don't you go ahead and apply?
221
00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:08,849
There's a board meeting on
Thursday night where the, uh,
222
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,024
community will vote on who
the next tenants should be.
223
00:08:12,031 --> 00:08:14,771
You'll have to convince them
that you're the right fit.
224
00:08:14,778 --> 00:08:16,733
- Thank you, sir.
- You're welcome.
225
00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:19,703
Okay, are we doing this?
Are we moving to Florida?
226
00:08:20,188 --> 00:08:21,300
I think so.
227
00:08:21,314 --> 00:08:24,069
I mean, we "live" in New York
but do we really live there?
228
00:08:24,083 --> 00:08:26,417
Yeah, I don't wanna
rise and grind anymore.
229
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,075
I wanna rise and then,
like, lay right back down.
230
00:08:30,530 --> 00:08:32,564
Ab, we're doing this.
231
00:08:32,666 --> 00:08:34,265
We're moving to Florida. (BOTH LAUGHING)
232
00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:36,195
Oh, my gosh, okay.
233
00:08:36,359 --> 00:08:38,197
If we're gonna impress
all these old people,
234
00:08:38,204 --> 00:08:39,435
we got a lot of work to do.
235
00:08:39,442 --> 00:08:42,243
Oof, it is net-twerking time, gaga.
236
00:08:43,861 --> 00:08:45,268
Great serve, Edna!
237
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,408
Great return, Ethel.
238
00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:49,139
That was out! I win, bitch!
239
00:08:49,146 --> 00:08:50,812
Oh, shove it, Edna.
240
00:08:50,914 --> 00:08:52,814
That was on the line and you know it.
241
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:55,483
Girls, you saw it. You make the call.
242
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,237
I can't tell who has more
power in the community.
243
00:08:58,255 --> 00:08:59,590
Um...
244
00:09:00,257 --> 00:09:03,591
Well, Edna looks like she's
wearing a really expensive skirt.
245
00:09:03,694 --> 00:09:05,493
Could mean that she's, like, elite.
246
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:06,828
Right.
247
00:09:06,930 --> 00:09:08,096
But Ethel's so [BLEEP] bossy.
248
00:09:08,103 --> 00:09:10,088
I feel like she'd force
people to vote for us.
249
00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,623
She's like a cyberbully IRL.
250
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:13,835
So, like a bully.
251
00:09:13,937 --> 00:09:15,804
Huh. I forgot about bullies.
252
00:09:15,906 --> 00:09:17,183
You know what?
253
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,057
I don't think we can choose.
We need both votes.
254
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:22,277
You won, but you should let her win.
255
00:09:22,379 --> 00:09:23,445
She needs it more.
256
00:09:23,452 --> 00:09:25,106
She needs it more.
257
00:09:25,113 --> 00:09:27,138
You're the pretty one.
It's the right thing to do.
258
00:09:27,145 --> 00:09:28,211
(SIGHS)
259
00:09:28,218 --> 00:09:29,918
You're the one with the incredible body
260
00:09:30,020 --> 00:09:31,519
and that slammin' tuchus.
261
00:09:31,621 --> 00:09:32,754
It's the right thing to do.
262
00:09:32,856 --> 00:09:33,955
Maybe you're right.
263
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,124
We've been friends
since we're 16 years old.
264
00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:37,659
And I always get everything.
265
00:09:37,761 --> 00:09:39,127
Just between you and me,
266
00:09:39,229 --> 00:09:41,596
I got to [BLEEP] JFK and she didn't.
267
00:09:41,698 --> 00:09:42,997
Wow...
268
00:09:44,908 --> 00:09:46,062
Wow.
269
00:09:46,069 --> 00:09:47,802
I do owe her one.
270
00:09:47,809 --> 00:09:50,577
She [BLEEP] JFK so I wouldn't have to.
271
00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:52,769
Ooh, such a predator.
272
00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:54,075
I'm so sorry.
273
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:57,479
Women have been treated
horrible up until this time
274
00:09:57,581 --> 00:09:59,013
and including this time.
275
00:09:59,116 --> 00:10:00,382
Tell me about it.
276
00:10:00,484 --> 00:10:01,683
So, could we call it a tie?
277
00:10:02,792 --> 00:10:04,652
Sure. Who cares?
278
00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:07,722
??
279
00:10:11,628 --> 00:10:13,962
(SCATTING)
280
00:10:22,472 --> 00:10:24,439
(APPLAUSE)
281
00:10:26,176 --> 00:10:27,275
(SIGHS)
282
00:10:29,913 --> 00:10:30,979
(SNIFFS)
283
00:10:32,119 --> 00:10:34,305
(MAN) Thank you for calling
North American Airlines.
284
00:10:34,312 --> 00:10:37,185
- How may I assist you?
- Hi, you guys lost my luggage.
285
00:10:37,287 --> 00:10:39,187
Oh, so sorry, this is misplaced baggage.
286
00:10:39,194 --> 00:10:41,181
I'm gonna have to transfer you
to the lost baggage department.
287
00:10:41,188 --> 00:10:42,590
What, no, how are those different?
288
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:44,092
[BLEEP].
289
00:10:45,162 --> 00:10:46,623
- Yo, Fabio.
- Jesus, Mom!
290
00:10:46,630 --> 00:10:48,191
Why don't you make yourself useful
291
00:10:48,205 --> 00:10:50,360
and either help me pack or thump me?
292
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:51,661
I'm having a very bad day.
293
00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:52,967
Thump you?
294
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,503
Dealing with your Aunt Bev
is destroying my neck.
295
00:10:55,605 --> 00:10:57,672
She's a pain in my ass. (LONG SIGH)
296
00:10:57,774 --> 00:11:00,275
Okay, I can't believe
I'm thumping my mother.
297
00:11:00,377 --> 00:11:02,777
Ah, delicious, ohh...
298
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,179
Oh, come on, deeper.
299
00:11:04,281 --> 00:11:05,547
Right there, ah, right there.
300
00:11:05,554 --> 00:11:06,623
Ahh...
301
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:07,844
- Mom...
- Oh!
302
00:11:07,851 --> 00:11:10,418
I can't, you're...
The noises, the noises.
303
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,420
All right, [BLEEP] you.
304
00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:14,155
[BLEEP] you!
305
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:15,356
Sorry.
306
00:11:15,973 --> 00:11:17,979
Dude, we are frickin' nailing this.
307
00:11:17,986 --> 00:11:20,109
Yeah, I feel like they're
really starting to like us.
308
00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:22,270
I mean, I already got
three marriage proposals.
309
00:11:22,277 --> 00:11:23,798
Yeah, I can't wait to live here.
310
00:11:23,805 --> 00:11:25,795
Me neither. It is lit-ral-ly, like,
311
00:11:25,802 --> 00:11:27,635
blue skies are smiling at me.
312
00:11:27,737 --> 00:11:29,404
- Oh.
- (PLANE ENGINE OVERHEAD)
313
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,011
Shit, ugh.
314
00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:33,100
I almost forgot we're in Florida.
315
00:11:33,452 --> 00:11:34,484
I mean, if we move here,
316
00:11:34,499 --> 00:11:36,098
we'll be in, like, Donald [BLEEP] land.
317
00:11:36,288 --> 00:11:38,422
Maybe this is a bad decision.
318
00:11:39,124 --> 00:11:40,719
- What?
- Jaime just texted me.
319
00:11:40,726 --> 00:11:42,947
It is four degrees in New York City.
320
00:11:42,954 --> 00:11:47,264
And our pipes in our apartment
just froze and burst... again.
321
00:11:49,299 --> 00:11:50,729
This is a good decision, it's great.
322
00:11:50,736 --> 00:11:51,916
I love it, I think it's right.
323
00:11:51,923 --> 00:11:53,212
You know, Florida might be filled
324
00:11:53,219 --> 00:11:55,033
with [BLEEP] supporters,
but if we move here,
325
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,369
our votes could swing the state.
326
00:11:57,376 --> 00:11:59,009
Oh, okay, now we can't not.
327
00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:00,999
Let's go borrow Grandma
Esther's dope Cadillac.
328
00:12:01,006 --> 00:12:02,479
Head up to "Pube-icks," AKA Publix...
329
00:12:02,581 --> 00:12:03,981
and get some goddamn whitefish salad
330
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:06,216
for these old dirty bastards.
331
00:12:06,318 --> 00:12:09,920
(CAR STARTS) ??
332
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,322
? Jessemey's got a feelin'
like she want to ?
333
00:12:12,424 --> 00:12:15,259
? Standin' in front of me
like shorty what you gon' do? ?
334
00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:18,195
? Said, Sailor baby, let me see
you do some... ?
335
00:12:18,297 --> 00:12:20,731
? You might say... ?
336
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:23,500
? She work that booty like a boss ?
337
00:12:23,602 --> 00:12:26,503
? She work that booty
like a boss, boss ?
338
00:12:26,605 --> 00:12:29,506
? She work that booty like a boss ?
339
00:12:29,608 --> 00:12:33,944
? She work that booty
like a boss, boss... ?
340
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,246
? Down, down, get it back ?
341
00:12:36,348 --> 00:12:39,549
? Get it back, get it nice ?
342
00:12:39,652 --> 00:12:44,321
? Get it... Get it... ?
343
00:12:44,423 --> 00:12:45,689
? Oh ?
344
00:12:45,791 --> 00:12:47,691
??
345
00:12:47,793 --> 00:12:49,893
? She work that booty like a boss ?
346
00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:51,528
? Boss, boss, boss, boss ?
347
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:53,530
? Like a boss... ?
348
00:12:53,632 --> 00:12:56,700
? She work that booty like a boss ?
349
00:12:56,802 --> 00:13:01,004
? She work that booty like a
boss, boss, boss, boss, boss ??
350
00:13:01,106 --> 00:13:02,606
Gorgeous people!
351
00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:05,275
Oh, my gosh, I've got hors d'oeuvre.
352
00:13:05,377 --> 00:13:07,444
Hope you take as much as you like.
353
00:13:07,546 --> 00:13:09,446
Just remember to vote for us.
354
00:13:09,548 --> 00:13:12,816
These give me terrible gas.
355
00:13:16,955 --> 00:13:19,456
Bitches are horny for butterscotch.
356
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:29,194
The Darlington Lakes Executive Board
357
00:13:29,201 --> 00:13:33,103
will now confer to make a decision
358
00:13:33,205 --> 00:13:35,372
regarding the new tenants.
359
00:13:38,071 --> 00:13:40,105
I wonder how long they'll take.
360
00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,346
We've reached a decision.
361
00:13:42,448 --> 00:13:43,847
That was really fast. Okay.
362
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:49,119
Congratulations, ladies!
363
00:13:49,221 --> 00:13:50,387
Oh! Oh, my God.
364
00:13:50,489 --> 00:13:54,191
You're the new residents
at Darlington Lakes.
365
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,226
(APPLAUSE)
366
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,230
Thank you guys so much, you're so cute.
367
00:14:00,332 --> 00:14:01,631
We are family now!
368
00:14:01,734 --> 00:14:03,333
Yeah, you won't be sorry, we promise.
369
00:14:03,435 --> 00:14:07,037
Well, we'd rather have
two young Jewish [BLEEP],
370
00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:09,439
than a couple of [BLEEP].
371
00:14:09,541 --> 00:14:11,441
(APPLAUSE)
372
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:19,302
(ILANA) We gotta get
the hell outta here!
373
00:14:19,309 --> 00:14:20,636
I don't even know what to do with this!
374
00:14:20,643 --> 00:14:22,699
I can't believe guns come
with the apartment!
375
00:14:23,004 --> 00:14:24,119
(LOUD GRUNT)
376
00:14:24,451 --> 00:14:26,094
A bunch of monsters!
377
00:14:28,918 --> 00:14:30,864
(BOBBI) All right, you
let me have the ring.
378
00:14:30,871 --> 00:14:32,720
And I'm gonna give you
379
00:14:32,822 --> 00:14:36,157
the end tables and the sleeper sofa.
380
00:14:36,259 --> 00:14:40,862
Oh, please, people pay not to
sleep on that pile-a-bullshit.
381
00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:43,431
Here's what I'm gonna do for you.
382
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:47,709
You can have the fake Van Gogh
and all of the china.
383
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,537
(LAUGHING) China?!
384
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,394
That shit is Ikea.
385
00:14:51,401 --> 00:14:52,940
Do I look like a frickin' idiot?
386
00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:55,476
I taught you everything
you know, girlie.
387
00:14:55,483 --> 00:14:57,116
You're not puttin' one over on me.
388
00:14:57,123 --> 00:15:00,024
If you're gonna behave like this...
389
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:08,156
...then maybe you shouldn't
come to Sandals this year.
390
00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:11,692
You did not.
391
00:15:11,795 --> 00:15:13,494
Yeah, I did.
392
00:15:13,596 --> 00:15:17,665
How dare you take
my Sandals vacay hostage.
393
00:15:17,767 --> 00:15:18,900
How dare you!
394
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:20,768
Un-frickin'-believable.
395
00:15:20,870 --> 00:15:22,637
Now you're Miss Sensitive.
396
00:15:22,739 --> 00:15:24,906
You bet your ass I am!
397
00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,812
(MAN) We've located your bag.
We're dispatching it to you.
398
00:15:30,819 --> 00:15:32,685
Yeah, whatever.
399
00:15:32,882 --> 00:15:34,067
(PHONE THUDS)
400
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:37,885
Hey.
401
00:15:37,987 --> 00:15:40,021
(ABBI) I'm sorry, I'm sorry...
402
00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:43,681
Even the type of fish salad
they like is white.
403
00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,927
I'm now realizing that,
that the only non-white people
404
00:15:45,934 --> 00:15:48,401
I've seen in the last few days
have been, like, nurses
405
00:15:48,598 --> 00:15:51,265
and gardeners and, like, the
various dudes driving ambulances
406
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,568
that have come in and out
of the [BLEEP] community.
407
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:55,103
Dude, shaming other white people
408
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,838
for their racism is, like, my thing.
409
00:15:56,845 --> 00:15:57,910
I've been in a haze!
410
00:15:57,917 --> 00:15:59,659
New York may be rough,
but at least it's not
411
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:01,633
a white supremacist's wet dream.
412
00:16:03,012 --> 00:16:05,480
Get me back to New York where everybody
413
00:16:05,582 --> 00:16:07,782
hates Donald [BLEEP] and Mike Pence.
414
00:16:09,352 --> 00:16:10,885
This place is so scary.
415
00:16:10,892 --> 00:16:12,348
It's, like, there are no gay people.
416
00:16:12,355 --> 00:16:15,389
- Ugh!
- There are zero interracial couples.
417
00:16:15,396 --> 00:16:17,462
Literally only, like,
straight white people.
418
00:16:17,469 --> 00:16:19,560
What are we? In a goddamn
Woody Allen movie?
419
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:20,617
Ugh!
420
00:16:22,467 --> 00:16:24,100
Excuse me.
421
00:16:27,170 --> 00:16:28,202
(SNIFFING)
422
00:16:28,304 --> 00:16:29,337
All right, come on.
423
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,073
Thank you.
424
00:16:38,594 --> 00:16:39,760
So, when we were kids,
425
00:16:39,949 --> 00:16:41,382
Grandma Esther and Grandpa Zayde
426
00:16:41,389 --> 00:16:43,439
used to take us
to the Catskills every summer.
427
00:16:43,446 --> 00:16:45,248
And the men would stay home
during the week.
428
00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:47,021
They'd come up
on the weekends to join us.
429
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,298
So, one summer, Bev and I stole
430
00:16:49,305 --> 00:16:52,106
Grandma Esther's diet pills...
Speed, you know, we took it.
431
00:16:52,113 --> 00:16:53,779
And we're trying
to hide it from Grandma.
432
00:16:53,786 --> 00:16:55,418
But she spotted us immediately
433
00:16:55,425 --> 00:16:57,320
'cause she was high on speed herself,
434
00:16:57,327 --> 00:16:58,526
so then... (LAUGHING)
435
00:16:58,628 --> 00:16:59,827
Remember this, Beverly?
436
00:16:59,929 --> 00:17:01,229
So then... (LAUGHING)
437
00:17:01,259 --> 00:17:03,387
we just ended up in the middle
of the night, you know,
438
00:17:03,394 --> 00:17:05,461
in that tiny, little bungalow kitchen
439
00:17:05,468 --> 00:17:07,730
till 3:00 in the morning
grinding our teeth.
440
00:17:07,737 --> 00:17:09,232
And we never told Daddy.
441
00:17:09,239 --> 00:17:12,874
No, we never told Daddy.
442
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:16,092
You know, I lost my virginity
in that little bungalow.
443
00:17:16,099 --> 00:17:18,708
No, you didn't. You lost
your virginity to Jerry Katz
444
00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:22,083
- the year after I went to college.
- Unh-unh, I lied.
445
00:17:22,185 --> 00:17:25,920
I lost my virginity to Neil Friedman
446
00:17:26,022 --> 00:17:27,683
in that bungalow
447
00:17:27,690 --> 00:17:30,992
while all of you were sleeping
the summer I was 15.
448
00:17:31,094 --> 00:17:32,894
Wait a minute, Neil Friedman?
449
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:35,763
Wasn't he the one
with the scoliosis brace?
450
00:17:35,865 --> 00:17:36,998
Uh-huh.
451
00:17:38,368 --> 00:17:39,901
I was so petrified
452
00:17:40,003 --> 00:17:42,136
that I was gonna wake all of youse up
453
00:17:42,238 --> 00:17:45,306
because it kept bangin'
against the headboard.
454
00:17:45,408 --> 00:17:48,376
(LOUD LAUGHTER)
455
00:17:51,681 --> 00:17:52,947
Bangin'?
456
00:17:53,049 --> 00:17:55,917
Oh, Beverly, you know what? (LAUGHING)
457
00:17:56,019 --> 00:17:57,718
You take the ring.
458
00:17:57,820 --> 00:18:01,355
No, Bobbi, you take it.
459
00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:03,357
No, you take it, Bev. Who could care?
460
00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:06,761
It's just a material possession.
It doesn't mean anything.
461
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:08,691
Oh, my God, Mom,
you need to smoke more often,
462
00:18:08,698 --> 00:18:10,398
like, every damn day.
463
00:18:15,571 --> 00:18:18,306
I do need to change
my Facebook profile pic.
464
00:18:18,408 --> 00:18:20,474
I see that now, you know?
It's just hard.
465
00:18:20,576 --> 00:18:22,143
Sometimes I wanna be one of those people
466
00:18:22,245 --> 00:18:24,478
that just, like, deletes
Facebook altogether.
467
00:18:24,547 --> 00:18:26,430
- Yeah.
- And than I can always tell everyone
468
00:18:26,437 --> 00:18:28,244
I deleted Facebook.
469
00:18:28,251 --> 00:18:31,118
But then I'd miss all the baby pics.
470
00:18:31,220 --> 00:18:32,486
(SIGHS)
471
00:18:32,588 --> 00:18:34,855
Babies. Mmm...
472
00:18:34,862 --> 00:18:36,297
You know what, speaking of Facebook,
473
00:18:36,304 --> 00:18:37,892
and I wasn't gonna say anything.
474
00:18:37,994 --> 00:18:39,460
But, you know, now I'm stoned.
475
00:18:39,562 --> 00:18:41,395
I'm gonna spill the beans.
476
00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:44,665
I saw earlier on Facebook
that, uh, Lincoln
477
00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:47,168
changed his status to single.
478
00:18:52,508 --> 00:18:55,476
Cool. Cool.
479
00:18:55,578 --> 00:18:56,744
Hey...
480
00:18:56,846 --> 00:18:58,746
Ilana, where did you
get this pot anyway?
481
00:18:58,848 --> 00:19:00,448
- I brought it.
- On the plane? How?
482
00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:01,916
- In my pussy.
- (COUGHING)
483
00:19:02,018 --> 00:19:03,250
- (SIGHS)
- Ew.
484
00:19:03,353 --> 00:19:04,919
I knew, it's a thing.
485
00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:06,988
Oh, big freakin' deal.
486
00:19:07,090 --> 00:19:08,456
She came out of you.
487
00:19:08,558 --> 00:19:10,925
You can't smoke a little
weed that came out of her?
488
00:19:13,196 --> 00:19:16,464
? You'll all roll all over me ?
489
00:19:21,604 --> 00:19:24,166
Good-bye, you old Boca box of junk!
490
00:19:24,173 --> 00:19:26,474
You gave us some fun times
491
00:19:26,576 --> 00:19:28,743
and E.coli from the pool that one year.
492
00:19:28,845 --> 00:19:30,111
(SIGHS)
493
00:19:30,213 --> 00:19:32,046
Girls, see you back in New York.
494
00:19:32,148 --> 00:19:33,314
Use condoms!
495
00:19:33,416 --> 00:19:34,443
Let's go, El.
496
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,384
Thanks for the full new wardrobe.
497
00:19:39,889 --> 00:19:42,289
I know material possessions
mean nothing, but...
498
00:19:42,296 --> 00:19:43,946
this car means a lot to me.
499
00:19:43,953 --> 00:19:46,408
Yeah, it's like we're taking
a piece of Florida home with us.
500
00:19:46,415 --> 00:19:49,630
A good one, not a racist one.
501
00:19:49,732 --> 00:19:51,599
? ... temp be risin'... ?
502
00:19:51,701 --> 00:19:53,801
(BOTH) Whoo!
503
00:19:53,903 --> 00:19:55,269
? ... from the start ?
504
00:19:55,455 --> 00:19:58,056
? Let me hear...
with attacks to your heart ?
505
00:19:58,161 --> 00:20:00,261
? Get you back, heart attack ?
506
00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:02,710
? Don't you think that it's fun ?
507
00:20:02,812 --> 00:20:04,979
? One more time blow your mind ?
508
00:20:07,713 --> 00:20:09,853
(ILANA) Ah, I wish you
could come with me.
509
00:20:09,860 --> 00:20:11,993
- (ABBI) I don't think I should.
- Yeah, probably not.
510
00:20:14,805 --> 00:20:15,923
(SIGHS)
511
00:20:15,930 --> 00:20:17,651
You let me know if you
need anything, okay?
512
00:20:17,658 --> 00:20:18,722
Thanks, love you.
513
00:20:18,824 --> 00:20:19,890
Good luck, dude.
514
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,506
Okay, here we go.
515
00:20:24,796 --> 00:20:25,862
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
516
00:20:25,964 --> 00:20:29,199
Goddamn it! (LOUD SIGH)
517
00:20:30,018 --> 00:20:32,836
Olivia won't wait around
for you forever, Fitz.
518
00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:34,833
Who am I kidding?
519
00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:36,835
(TEXT ALERT) Of course she will.
520
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:39,671
Hmm?
521
00:20:49,183 --> 00:20:50,215
What?
522
00:20:57,761 --> 00:20:58,794
(CHUCKLING)
523
00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:01,602
? Lady and the tramp... ?
524
00:21:02,101 --> 00:21:03,300
? Girl is a tramp ?
525
00:21:03,307 --> 00:21:04,374
? You walk in... ?
526
00:21:04,381 --> 00:21:05,714
(GRUNTING)
527
00:21:05,721 --> 00:21:09,189
??
528
00:21:11,171 --> 00:21:12,237
Hey.
529
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:14,434
Hi.
530
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:15,741
You wanna come inside?
531
00:21:17,378 --> 00:21:18,443
All right.
532
00:21:20,256 --> 00:21:23,248
I'm never gonna ask about the
mechanics of what just happened.
533
00:21:23,708 --> 00:21:25,981
- Synced and corrected by Shazi89 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
534
00:21:26,031 --> 00:21:30,581
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