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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:02,163 I still can't believe you have to take a drug test. 2 00:00:02,266 --> 00:00:06,494 I know. The man gets off sniffing America's piss these days. 3 00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:09,771 You know that my pee probably won't pass a drug test either? 4 00:00:09,873 --> 00:00:13,474 I know, but at least it's, like, human level. It's less embarrassing. 5 00:00:13,576 --> 00:00:15,376 - Right. - God, I have such swamp ass. 6 00:00:15,478 --> 00:00:18,747 Dude, thongs are the best. It eliminates an entire layer. 7 00:00:18,849 --> 00:00:21,349 Plus, it soaks up all the sweat in your... butt crack. 8 00:00:21,451 --> 00:00:23,825 I still cannot believe you are such a thong head. 9 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:26,140 It's not for me. It's butt floss. 10 00:00:26,336 --> 00:00:29,207 Thank you so much. Love this look. 11 00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:30,666 I love this look. 12 00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:32,615 (together) God, we're hot. 13 00:00:33,289 --> 00:00:34,906 God, my butt itches. 14 00:00:34,941 --> 00:00:37,590 Yeah, man titties. 15 00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:38,688 (splashing) 16 00:00:41,202 --> 00:00:42,168 (sighing) 17 00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:44,288 Abbi? 18 00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:47,274 Can I, uh, buy you an ice coffee real quick? 19 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:50,176 Four and three and two and one, one 20 00:00:51,141 --> 00:00:54,148 Sync and corrections by rickSG www.addic7ed.com 21 00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:57,648 Oh, that's amazing. 22 00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:58,716 Oh. 23 00:00:58,818 --> 00:01:00,185 I hope you're not talking about the kegels. 24 00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:01,553 I was not. 25 00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:05,490 Oh, um, hey, Ab. 26 00:01:05,592 --> 00:01:10,027 Would you maybe want to get, uh, um, dinner if you're free later? 27 00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:12,363 You mean like a date? 28 00:01:12,466 --> 00:01:14,431 Well, yeah. My treat. 29 00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:18,168 Um, I don't know if that's, like, our thing, right? 30 00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,572 Well, yeah. But, you know how when we have sex you tell me not to talk 31 00:01:21,673 --> 00:01:24,172 so you can concentrate, which I-I totally get. I get it, but... 32 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:30,390 Um, I just thought, you know, if might be nice if we have an actual conversation. 33 00:01:31,816 --> 00:01:34,550 Um, yeah. 34 00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:38,154 Okay... 35 00:01:38,256 --> 00:01:39,655 I don't have dinner plans yet. 36 00:01:39,757 --> 00:01:42,091 No... I don't... I mean don't have dinner plans yet, right? 37 00:01:42,193 --> 00:01:43,859 Is that what you just asked me? To do dinner? 38 00:01:44,198 --> 00:01:45,341 Awesome sauce. 39 00:01:45,376 --> 00:01:47,195 - Okay. - Oh, you don't have to. 40 00:01:47,298 --> 00:01:51,961 Um, I, uh, I actually finished when you said yes. 41 00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:54,036 Aww. 42 00:01:54,138 --> 00:01:56,071 I definitely didn't though. 43 00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,777 (sighing) Oh, Madonna. 44 00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:04,155 Rihanna. 45 00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,647 Ilana. 46 00:02:06,749 --> 00:02:07,949 (laughing) 47 00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:10,159 Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana. 48 00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:12,456 - Hey, Bonita! - Hey. 49 00:02:13,722 --> 00:02:16,090 Hey, what are you doing? Come on. 50 00:02:16,192 --> 00:02:17,791 Hi, baby. Do you want a peach, baby? 51 00:02:17,893 --> 00:02:20,861 Do you like a peach? Yeah. 52 00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:22,929 You have got to be kidding me. 53 00:02:23,031 --> 00:02:24,864 We have been doing business for how long? 54 00:02:24,967 --> 00:02:28,335 I mean... ah! (phone vibrating) 55 00:02:28,537 --> 00:02:29,569 Hello. 56 00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,271 (Bobbi) There's been a terrible accident. 57 00:02:31,373 --> 00:02:32,772 Oh my God. 58 00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:34,174 Not us, on the LIE. 59 00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:35,708 Tractor-trailer, overturned. 60 00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:37,914 Bloody, bloody... oh, it's so sad. 61 00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:39,693 You buried the lead. Don't do that. 62 00:02:39,728 --> 00:02:41,969 (Arthur) 1010 WINS says we're gonna be an hour late, 63 00:02:42,004 --> 00:02:44,516 but Google Map says 20, so... who knows... 64 00:02:44,618 --> 00:02:47,453 I don't trust Google Maps. It's the cops tracking us. 65 00:02:47,554 --> 00:02:49,520 Steering us away from their own corruption. 66 00:02:49,555 --> 00:02:50,990 Wag the dog, Ilana. 67 00:02:51,092 --> 00:02:53,792 Wag. The. Dog. 68 00:02:53,894 --> 00:02:56,394 Well, happy anniversary, guys. 69 00:02:56,496 --> 00:02:59,063 - Aww, thank you, sweetheart. - Love, love, love you. 70 00:02:59,098 --> 00:03:00,798 I'm so excited to see you later. 71 00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:02,108 Love you, bye. 72 00:03:02,143 --> 00:03:05,203 73 00:03:06,239 --> 00:03:07,972 We can do this. Somebody'll get up. 74 00:03:08,074 --> 00:03:10,241 - We got this. - Just wait it out. 75 00:03:10,473 --> 00:03:12,741 - Okay. - Oh, (bleep). 76 00:03:15,254 --> 00:03:16,213 - Hey! - No! 77 00:03:16,315 --> 00:03:17,752 I saw you see us see you! 78 00:03:17,787 --> 00:03:19,379 (both) (bleep) you. 79 00:03:20,619 --> 00:03:21,851 - So angry. - Yeah. 80 00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:23,198 Inappropriate. 81 00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,624 Oh, here's one. 82 00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,024 Oh, it only has one chair. 83 00:03:27,126 --> 00:03:28,658 Okay, we can do this. 84 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,220 Alright, oh, I'll grab a chair. He's just using it a foot rest. 85 00:03:32,096 --> 00:03:33,624 Hi, can I grab this? 86 00:03:33,659 --> 00:03:34,872 Oh, sorry. I'm using it. 87 00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:37,585 Oh, totally, but we're actually two people. We just wanna both sit. 88 00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,235 No, no. I'm-I'm using the chair. 89 00:03:39,337 --> 00:03:40,403 I mean... 90 00:03:40,505 --> 00:03:42,571 we all wish we could have ottomans in the park... 91 00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:44,573 Are you deaf? Like, I'm using the chair. 92 00:03:44,675 --> 00:03:45,774 - Okay, I'm gonna take the chair. - I said... 93 00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:48,276 No... 'cause you're, like, being a dick. I'm gonna take the chair. 94 00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,445 Oh, my God. Okay, I'm just gonna... 95 00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:52,713 No, don't touch... Don't touch it. 96 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:53,915 - No, I'm not... - Leave it. 97 00:03:54,017 --> 00:03:55,050 - No, alright, I... - You know what? 98 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,252 - You can take the chair. Take the chair. - I can't... I'm not taking the chair. 99 00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:58,553 - You own this chair. - Please, please take the chair. 100 00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,754 - No, no, okay, I just sorry. - Don't touch me. 101 00:03:59,856 --> 00:04:01,156 - Don't touch me. - Okay, I would not. 102 00:04:01,258 --> 00:04:02,646 - I would not. - Take the chair... 103 00:04:02,681 --> 00:04:04,458 - I'm not gonna take it. - And go... Bye. 104 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,724 - Okay. Okay. - Bye. Thank you. 105 00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:10,297 I just straight up asked that couple over there. 106 00:04:10,399 --> 00:04:11,532 They're so sweet. 107 00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,842 Hi. Cuties... thanks. 108 00:04:14,736 --> 00:04:17,473 Man, I feel like I haven't seen you in "lit-roll" days. 109 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:20,006 God, you're glowing. Your skin is glowing. 110 00:04:20,108 --> 00:04:21,136 - Really? - Yeah. 111 00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,308 What have you been doing? 112 00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,277 Just been busy with Trey... 113 00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:25,578 Ning. 114 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:26,845 Training with Trey. Y'know? 115 00:04:26,948 --> 00:04:28,481 He's just been on me. 116 00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,015 So annoying. Get him off. 117 00:04:30,118 --> 00:04:31,750 I would not get him off! 118 00:04:31,852 --> 00:04:32,927 What? 119 00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:36,555 You trippin', boo. 120 00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:38,823 I don't wanna Ta... I don't think we should talk about it anymore. 121 00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:41,394 We should talk about positive stuff like your parents, dude. 122 00:04:41,429 --> 00:04:42,757 - Your parents. - I know. 123 00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:44,541 35 years! That is impressive. 124 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,069 Oh my God, I didn't even ask you. 125 00:04:46,104 --> 00:04:47,637 You can totally come to their anniversary dinner tonight. 126 00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:49,301 - We would love to have you. - No, it's cool. 127 00:04:49,403 --> 00:04:51,862 - It's a family thing. - Girl, you're family. 128 00:04:51,897 --> 00:04:53,037 You know, unless you have plans. 129 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,738 I-I-I... uh, I do actually have plans. 130 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:55,992 Cool, whatcha doin'? 131 00:04:57,610 --> 00:04:58,809 Yeah. 132 00:04:58,911 --> 00:05:00,444 What are your plans tonight? 133 00:05:00,546 --> 00:05:01,245 I... 134 00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,417 am... 135 00:05:05,851 --> 00:05:08,552 Training Shania Twain. 136 00:05:08,654 --> 00:05:10,821 (laughing ecstatically) 137 00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:12,093 Are you kidding me? 138 00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:14,524 - No. - That is hysterical. 139 00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,359 That is your go to lie. 140 00:05:16,461 --> 00:05:18,461 I know, but not now. 141 00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:21,564 Oh my God. That does impress-ah me much. 142 00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:22,721 Don't keep it from me. 143 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,899 - I wouldn't. - Don't keep anything from me. 144 00:05:24,002 --> 00:05:25,303 - I wouldn't. - You know, it could kill me. 145 00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:26,599 - Right. - It kills me! 146 00:05:27,056 --> 00:05:28,899 To feel any distance here. 147 00:05:28,934 --> 00:05:30,624 - That's all. - Totally. I would not do that. 148 00:05:30,659 --> 00:05:32,907 - Love ya. - I love you, too. 149 00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:35,310 Wow. (sighing) 150 00:05:35,412 --> 00:05:37,112 Is that Lincoln? 151 00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:39,248 Oh, my gee, Lincoln. Come here. 152 00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:40,406 What are you doin'? 153 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,252 Hey. What's up? 154 00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:44,085 'Sup, Ab? 155 00:05:44,188 --> 00:05:46,621 I was waiting for you guys to finish 156 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,689 so we could talk privately. 157 00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:49,617 Oh. 158 00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:54,295 Me? 159 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,763 I have to go. 160 00:05:55,865 --> 00:05:56,979 Later, Lincoln. 161 00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:57,898 Later, Ab. 162 00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,300 Hello. 163 00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,835 (sighing) 164 00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:05,078 Watching that ass walk away makes me sweat, too. (chuckles) 165 00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:06,266 No, I... 166 00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:08,129 I need to talk about something. 167 00:06:08,277 --> 00:06:10,610 Some stuff was at my place 168 00:06:10,712 --> 00:06:12,078 that I need to return to you. 169 00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:15,400 Why are you giving the (bleep) ring back to me? 170 00:06:15,435 --> 00:06:18,251 That's what I needed to talk with you about. 171 00:06:18,353 --> 00:06:20,586 I've been seein' that girl, as you know. 172 00:06:20,688 --> 00:06:22,054 And have encouraged. 173 00:06:22,156 --> 00:06:24,643 And it's gotten to the point where I need to talk to you about it. 174 00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:27,359 "Final-lee," some juicy, (bleep) details. 175 00:06:27,461 --> 00:06:28,827 - I want the play by play. - No, no, no. 176 00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:30,473 - Frame by frame. - No. 177 00:06:30,698 --> 00:06:32,116 I wanna be monogamous. 178 00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,300 I'm sorry, we've... 179 00:06:34,402 --> 00:06:36,801 talked about this so many times, I just... 180 00:06:36,903 --> 00:06:38,969 - It's just not for me. - No, with the other girl. 181 00:06:39,072 --> 00:06:41,855 Our arrangement is perfect for me, just as it is. 182 00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:43,452 We wanna be monogamous with each other. 183 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,849 No we don't. You're not listening even. 184 00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:47,521 We haven't had a threesome with a boy yet. 185 00:06:47,556 --> 00:06:48,879 I'm talking about Steph. 186 00:06:48,981 --> 00:06:50,648 She's my girlfriend now, Ilana. 187 00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:52,550 We're together. 188 00:06:52,652 --> 00:06:54,251 Uh... 189 00:06:55,269 --> 00:06:56,495 okay. 190 00:06:59,301 --> 00:07:01,302 - Cool. - Listen, Ilana. 191 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:05,829 I love you, but, I wanna be in a relationship 192 00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:09,065 and you wanna do other stuff, which is fine. 193 00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,399 That's cool, but... 194 00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:14,719 we want different things, so, I gotta move on. 195 00:07:15,039 --> 00:07:17,264 But we can still hang out as friends. 196 00:07:17,475 --> 00:07:18,774 Obviously. 197 00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:21,152 I don't think we're just friends. 198 00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:22,311 So... 199 00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:26,010 No. 200 00:07:29,543 --> 00:07:32,687 Well, uh, we will talk when we talk 201 00:07:32,789 --> 00:07:35,056 and I'll see you when I see you 202 00:07:35,158 --> 00:07:38,260 in a more professional capacity from here on out, uh, 203 00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:40,904 - which is great. - Ilana, you good? You wanna... 204 00:07:40,939 --> 00:07:42,570 - Yep, great. - Hang out for a little bit... 205 00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:43,891 Oh, no, I'm gonna head out, 206 00:07:43,926 --> 00:07:47,100 'cause this is just cool and how life goes. 207 00:07:47,202 --> 00:07:49,094 So, that's it. I'll see you. 208 00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:50,906 That's... see ya. 209 00:07:52,942 --> 00:07:54,275 Lincoln, wait. 210 00:07:59,948 --> 00:08:01,481 (blows raspberry) 211 00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,515 (chuckles) 212 00:08:03,785 --> 00:08:05,084 (laughs) 213 00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:13,213 She's still running. 214 00:08:13,337 --> 00:08:15,754 Her running is a metaphor. 215 00:08:19,046 --> 00:08:20,946 Whoa, Ab. 216 00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:22,780 What's up with that outfit? 217 00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:24,015 It's confused. 218 00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:25,550 (sighs) 219 00:08:25,652 --> 00:08:26,911 I'm going on a date. 220 00:08:26,946 --> 00:08:29,186 All right, girl. Just the deets. I know the person? 221 00:08:29,288 --> 00:08:31,389 Anybody I know? Who is it? 222 00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:33,491 Okay. Yeah, you know. 223 00:08:33,593 --> 00:08:34,926 You know him. (excited gasping) 224 00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:36,360 Who? Who? 225 00:08:36,462 --> 00:08:38,396 - Who, who, who, who, who? - I'm, like, embarrassed about it. 226 00:08:38,498 --> 00:08:41,064 I'm not... I'm not embarrassed about it, but I've been in denial about it. 227 00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:42,872 - Like I haven't even told Ilana. - Ooh. 228 00:08:42,907 --> 00:08:46,685 Am I at the farmer's market 'cause this is so juicy. 229 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,938 - Okay. - It's a peach. 230 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,801 The white peaches at the farmer's market. 231 00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:51,441 Okay. Uh... 232 00:08:51,544 --> 00:08:52,809 it's Trey. 233 00:08:57,982 --> 00:08:59,448 - My Trey? - Well... 234 00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:00,850 Why would you be embarrassed? 235 00:09:00,952 --> 00:09:05,760 I mean, I'm obviously straight, but I would absolutely suck him dry. 236 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,890 - Okay. Thanks so much, Bevers. - No, no, no, no. 237 00:09:07,992 --> 00:09:09,124 Oh, no, no, no, no. 238 00:09:09,226 --> 00:09:10,760 I'll be good, I'll be good, I'll be good. 239 00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:12,795 So what are we trying to say with this outfit? 240 00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:14,162 I don't know. 241 00:09:14,264 --> 00:09:17,866 I just need the look to say that I want to be 242 00:09:17,968 --> 00:09:19,427 sex friends only. 243 00:09:19,462 --> 00:09:20,769 All right, got it. 244 00:09:20,871 --> 00:09:24,600 Let's figure something out that's gonna let you maintain that status quo. 245 00:09:24,635 --> 00:09:26,651 - Okay. - Before we get started... 246 00:09:26,686 --> 00:09:28,677 Will you give me some dick deets? 247 00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:29,678 (sighs) 248 00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:33,614 249 00:09:33,716 --> 00:09:35,650 (snaps fingers) 250 00:09:35,752 --> 00:09:37,084 Knee caps, baby. 251 00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:38,857 Those thighs could crack a coconut. 252 00:09:38,892 --> 00:09:40,621 Make me a "Vaginia-colada" (sucking) 253 00:09:40,723 --> 00:09:42,089 (barking) 254 00:09:42,419 --> 00:09:44,491 - Yes! - (Bobbi) Is this what you do? 255 00:09:44,594 --> 00:09:45,693 I love this. 256 00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:46,894 (imitating a siren) 257 00:09:46,996 --> 00:09:51,030 Oh, mommy, I would sip Dem milkbags like a Capri Sun. 258 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,032 You Betty me "Veron-ing" ya. 259 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,237 Yowza, baby. 260 00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:56,497 (Bobbi) All right, now you're going too far. 261 00:09:56,532 --> 00:09:57,770 Oh, here we go. 262 00:09:57,872 --> 00:09:59,138 Strong back muscles. 263 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,608 Butt clenched... I like 'em nervous. 264 00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:04,843 I'd wrap my thighs around that big basketball head. 265 00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:07,480 - Yeah? - Ew, what the (bleep). 266 00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,982 - Oh, Ilana. That's your brother. - That was bad. 267 00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:11,549 - No, I'm really excited, thank you so much. - That was so bad. 268 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,719 - That sucked. - Yeah, it really was not a good place to go. 269 00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,286 Oh my God, guys. I have some big news. 270 00:10:15,388 --> 00:10:16,655 Oh, I have big news, too. 271 00:10:16,757 --> 00:10:19,024 You know your sister was just talking about you sexually. 272 00:10:19,126 --> 00:10:20,792 - Ew, what? - I didn't know. 273 00:10:20,894 --> 00:10:22,636 Sorry, but CrossFit is shredding you. 274 00:10:22,637 --> 00:10:25,295 Please. Incest would destroy our already weak bloodlines. 275 00:10:25,397 --> 00:10:27,231 Anxiety, depression, enough. 276 00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,766 - Let's go kids. - Okay. 277 00:10:28,868 --> 00:10:30,134 Oh. 278 00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:31,702 Guess I'll save it. 279 00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:35,405 280 00:10:35,508 --> 00:10:36,841 Mask up. 281 00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:40,977 The empire waist is reading very Mormon. 282 00:10:41,079 --> 00:10:42,478 You're beggin' to have his babies. 283 00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:43,850 Let's move on. 284 00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:47,250 - Ugh... Next! - What? 285 00:10:47,352 --> 00:10:49,007 Don't waste my time. 286 00:10:50,088 --> 00:10:51,521 Mask up. 287 00:10:51,623 --> 00:10:53,556 (sighs) 288 00:10:53,659 --> 00:10:57,860 Mainline skirt is a flattering silhouette for your hourglass figure, but... 289 00:10:57,962 --> 00:10:59,914 - it's reading a little too sexy. - Really? 290 00:10:59,949 --> 00:11:01,819 I mean, we could let the seam out an inch or two, 291 00:11:01,854 --> 00:11:03,632 make it a little less form fitting, but... 292 00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,635 those legs, I mean, you just got those slut legs sticking out. 293 00:11:06,737 --> 00:11:08,470 How the (bleep) do you know this much about fashion. 294 00:11:08,572 --> 00:11:11,868 You know, I worked every summer at my Grandma's department store in St. Louis. 295 00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,507 Lord and Bevers. 296 00:11:13,609 --> 00:11:14,776 Oh. 297 00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:16,503 Um, 'Kay, mask down. 298 00:11:16,913 --> 00:11:18,379 Mask up. 299 00:11:23,787 --> 00:11:26,036 I don't know why I didn't try it on first. 300 00:11:28,191 --> 00:11:29,223 (phone vibrating) 301 00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:30,290 (sighing) Okay. 302 00:11:31,794 --> 00:11:32,693 Hi. 303 00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,427 I am meeting a Mr. Trey... 304 00:11:34,529 --> 00:11:35,986 - Oh, Mr. Pucker. - Yeah. 305 00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:37,630 He arrived about a half an hour ago. 306 00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:38,760 - Am I late? - No. 307 00:11:38,795 --> 00:11:41,496 - He was just very early. Follow me. - Okay. 308 00:11:42,304 --> 00:11:43,826 Half an hour. 309 00:11:44,306 --> 00:11:45,638 - Abbi. - Hey, Trey. 310 00:11:45,741 --> 00:11:47,039 Hey, you look awesome. 311 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:50,142 - Thanks, wow. Thank you. - Here you go. 312 00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:51,957 - Fancy. - How about this table, huh? 313 00:11:51,992 --> 00:11:54,747 - Oh, it's a great table. - Check out the menu. It's so tight. 314 00:11:54,849 --> 00:11:56,949 I even moved my cheat day in case you wanna split stuff, 315 00:11:57,051 --> 00:11:58,117 share aps, whatever you wanna do. 316 00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,592 I moved my cheat day, too. 317 00:11:59,627 --> 00:12:01,620 - So we can eat whatever we want. - Great. 318 00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,055 Hi, what would you like? 319 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:04,622 - Hey, I-I know. - II could... 320 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,957 Um... Okay. 321 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,260 Okay, I'm gonna do the pan roasted turbot with fennel pollen aioli, 322 00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:12,463 prosciutto, borlotti beans, parsnips, turnips and carrots. 323 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,967 - So the Turbot. Yeah. - Uh, I'm gonna do the chicken. 324 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,448 - Alright, very good. - Great. 325 00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:18,123 - Cool. - Thanks. 326 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,403 (clears throat) Well... 327 00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:21,529 Okay. 328 00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:23,607 To new beginnings. 329 00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,742 Yeah... 330 00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,910 But also, 331 00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:29,479 to how it is. 332 00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:30,680 Now. 333 00:12:30,774 --> 00:12:32,667 - Presently. - Yes. 334 00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:34,506 - You know? Do you understand? - Yeah. 335 00:12:34,539 --> 00:12:36,458 - To the present. To the present. - To right now... yeah. 336 00:12:36,493 --> 00:12:37,854 - Let's cheers. - Awesome. 337 00:12:37,956 --> 00:12:38,921 Awesome. 338 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,324 That's good... You know what? I'm gonna run to the bathroom. 339 00:12:42,426 --> 00:12:44,493 - I'll be right back. - Alright, yeah. Make room. 340 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,438 Hey, do you know where the bathroom is? 341 00:12:47,439 --> 00:12:49,493 Uh, there's one right over there and then there's one down the stairs. 342 00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:50,566 Great, thanks. 343 00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:53,636 Oh, (bleep). 344 00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:54,879 (bleep) me. 345 00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:57,438 So what's that plant called? That plant. 346 00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,652 - Sansevieria. - "Senseverion." 347 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,710 - No, no. - (Bobbi) I caught you. 348 00:13:02,813 --> 00:13:05,881 Oh, my sweet girl, 349 00:13:05,983 --> 00:13:09,549 you surprised me on my anniversary. 350 00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:11,802 Surprise... 351 00:13:12,006 --> 00:13:15,775 Look who I found tip toeing around trying to surprise us. 352 00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:18,911 - Can you believe this little sneak. - I'm-I'm sneakin'. 353 00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:22,779 - Sit, sit. - Ab, have yourself a lei. 354 00:13:23,524 --> 00:13:25,083 Bob and I are going to Hawaii. 355 00:13:25,186 --> 00:13:27,137 - Thank you. - I surprised her. 356 00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:29,188 (Arthur) At first, she was mad and then she was glad. 357 00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:33,058 Just because now I need all new sarongs, but, you know what, It's fine. It's fine. 358 00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:34,693 I'm happy to go. 359 00:13:34,795 --> 00:13:36,338 (kissing rapidly) 360 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,928 You pretty little liar. 361 00:13:38,031 --> 00:13:40,431 Shania my ass. 362 00:13:40,534 --> 00:13:43,067 I'm not mad, though, because you surprised my family. 363 00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,870 I love this. I love this! 364 00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:49,340 Everyone is happy and nothing has changed. 365 00:13:49,442 --> 00:13:51,976 I am very vulnerable right now, so I'm gonna need to fill you in 366 00:13:52,078 --> 00:13:54,578 later when I'm not around... (whistling) 367 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,461 - Cannot handle her questions. - Okay. 368 00:13:56,496 --> 00:13:58,782 (Bobbi) I guess we're just gonna have to toast to honesty then, huh? 369 00:13:58,884 --> 00:14:01,250 Could we get lychee martinis for the whole table. 370 00:14:01,285 --> 00:14:02,686 Alright, are we ready to order? 371 00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,289 - (Bobbi) Yeah, Arthur, you go first. - Okay, well, I'm... 372 00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:07,090 I'm gonna have the duck. 373 00:14:07,193 --> 00:14:08,825 With extra breast. 374 00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:10,414 Wasn't that... that was that was funny. 375 00:14:10,674 --> 00:14:12,171 (waitress) Mmm, all right. 376 00:14:12,206 --> 00:14:14,730 (coughing) I'm gonna have the chicken. 377 00:14:14,832 --> 00:14:16,332 Please. I love chicken. 378 00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:19,402 (Ilana slurping) (Eliot) Uh, I'm gonna have the baked 379 00:14:19,504 --> 00:14:21,437 - portabella mushroom wellington, please. - (Arthur) Oh, I like that. 380 00:14:21,539 --> 00:14:24,473 (Bobbi) I will have the prawns, 381 00:14:24,474 --> 00:14:29,296 but I have to have the curry sauce on the side. I can't handle that kinda heat. 382 00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:30,935 And... 383 00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,780 - Pork chop, babe. - Thank you. 384 00:14:32,882 --> 00:14:34,982 So, Abbi, we have incredible news. 385 00:14:35,085 --> 00:14:37,719 - Okay. - We got the cemetery plot! 386 00:14:38,565 --> 00:14:41,122 (Arthur) We had a bidding war, but it was totally worth it, 387 00:14:41,225 --> 00:14:43,758 because we're under this beautiful, beautiful tree. 388 00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:47,194 And, also, most of all, we are nowhere near the Schwartz's. 389 00:14:47,296 --> 00:14:48,495 No. (Bobbi and Arthur laughing) 390 00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:51,232 (slurping) 391 00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:56,637 Mazel. Tov. 392 00:14:56,739 --> 00:14:57,671 (sharp inhale) 393 00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,840 Oh, man. 394 00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:00,874 Oh. 395 00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,975 I forgot to... I need to pla... 396 00:15:03,077 --> 00:15:06,078 I need to replace my bandage. 'Cause it's fallen. 397 00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:07,694 It's fallen loose. 398 00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:10,469 It's ba... It's gonna be bad if I don't go. 399 00:15:10,504 --> 00:15:12,294 Imma be right back. Go to the bathroom. 400 00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:15,421 Huh. 401 00:15:15,599 --> 00:15:18,296 Hi, you have the wrong menu. I'm just gonna take it. 402 00:15:22,062 --> 00:15:24,902 This is great... options. You guys are cute. 403 00:15:26,486 --> 00:15:27,925 - Hey, there you are. - Hi. 404 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,528 Was gettin' worried you fell in. 405 00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,060 I did. It was a big toilet. 406 00:15:31,095 --> 00:15:32,838 - You did? - No, I didn't fall in. 407 00:15:32,873 --> 00:15:34,005 So, two things. 408 00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,674 One, I got you something. 409 00:15:36,776 --> 00:15:39,644 Oh... okay. 410 00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,212 - It's a... - Corsage! Yeah. 411 00:15:42,315 --> 00:15:44,452 You know how you said you didn't go to prom? Well... 412 00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:47,585 - Yeah. - It's kind of a joke, but... it's also real. 413 00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:49,614 Thank you. That is so nice. 414 00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,304 - Put it on. - Here? 415 00:15:51,339 --> 00:15:52,861 - Yeah. - Uh, okay. 416 00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,993 See, it's funny, but it's also pretty. 417 00:15:57,095 --> 00:15:58,795 You look awesome. 418 00:15:58,897 --> 00:16:01,030 Uh, the other thing: today I found out 419 00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:04,167 I qualified for "American Ninja Warrior." 420 00:16:04,269 --> 00:16:07,467 Shut up! Trey, I (bleep) love that show. 421 00:16:07,502 --> 00:16:08,871 - You do? - Yeah, are you kidding? 422 00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:10,272 Congrats, this is amazing. 423 00:16:10,374 --> 00:16:11,976 - You should come with me. - No... 424 00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:14,117 Yeah, you could totally stretch me out or something. 425 00:16:14,152 --> 00:16:17,033 Uh, yeah, I am the master stretcher. 426 00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:17,546 (Ilana laughing) 427 00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,142 Come on. 428 00:16:19,177 --> 00:16:20,716 (grunting) 429 00:16:20,818 --> 00:16:21,750 Mmmm. 430 00:16:23,887 --> 00:16:25,421 Mmmm. 431 00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:29,312 Wow. 432 00:16:29,347 --> 00:16:31,225 - We'll start with your legs. - Great. 433 00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:33,536 And then I could stretch the upper body. 434 00:16:33,571 --> 00:16:35,371 - We can start wherever you want. - Okay. 435 00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:39,667 (breathing heavily) 436 00:16:39,769 --> 00:16:41,536 - Oh, this is so hot. - Yeah. 437 00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:45,133 My wife's totally pumpin' and dumpin' like 40 feet away. 438 00:16:45,168 --> 00:16:46,406 Really? 439 00:16:46,508 --> 00:16:48,274 Well... 440 00:16:48,377 --> 00:16:49,976 - For real. - Well, yeah. 441 00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:51,311 What'd you think? 442 00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:54,548 Are you guys, like, chill, or, like, open relationship? 443 00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:56,182 What, are you retarded? 444 00:16:56,284 --> 00:16:58,218 Open relationships are unstable. 445 00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,918 Cheating is victimless. 446 00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:02,921 Yeah... this is... this is done. 447 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,090 I don't even know what I'm doing. 448 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,869 And lose the nipple rings. 449 00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:12,898 (sighs) 450 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,704 Where were you, Miss Ilana? 451 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:17,669 I was taking a (bleep) if you have to know. 452 00:17:17,931 --> 00:17:19,528 - Ilana... - I have something to say. 453 00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:24,509 You guys must be a really amazing team if you had two 454 00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:28,079 perfect children and have stayed together for 35 years. 455 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,919 Wow. It was quite a (bleep), huh? 456 00:17:30,954 --> 00:17:32,430 (Bobbi) Ah, fresh Lychee's. 457 00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:33,804 - (Arthur) Oh great. - (Bobbi) Let's toast. 458 00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:35,194 - Oh, gosh. - Where's Abbi? 459 00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:39,056 So, these are my twin sisters. They're my best friends. 460 00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:40,624 - I mean, they got all the brains, honestly. - Mm-hm, lovely. 461 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,525 It's just genetics, you know? 462 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,295 And, uh, they're teachers right now. They teach middle school. 463 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,863 They pretend to be the same person. 464 00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,966 It's genius. 465 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,034 Whoa. Uh... hello. 466 00:17:52,136 --> 00:17:53,035 Doctor? 467 00:17:53,137 --> 00:17:54,637 What do you mean, "Test results"? 468 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:55,871 You have them. 469 00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,339 (whispering) I have to get this... this is important. 470 00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,075 - I'm so sorry, it's rude. - Take it, take the call. 471 00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:00,843 Okay. I'll be right back. 472 00:18:02,947 --> 00:18:04,379 She's always sick. 473 00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,178 (Ilana) There she is. 474 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,326 (Bobbi) Fresh Lychee's, Ab. 475 00:18:11,361 --> 00:18:13,341 Where'd you get the corsage, Ab? 476 00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:17,908 I ran into my florist. 477 00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:21,329 "My florist," excuse me, Queen of Sheba. 478 00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:23,331 Okay, back to business. 479 00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:24,633 - Happy anniversary. - Happy anniversary! 480 00:18:24,735 --> 00:18:28,702 Happy anniversary! You guys are just love! 481 00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:33,607 (sipping) 482 00:18:34,383 --> 00:18:36,877 Oh, Jesus. 483 00:18:36,979 --> 00:18:39,124 My diaphragm... 484 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,481 I left it... 485 00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:42,849 Cathy comic. 486 00:18:42,951 --> 00:18:45,217 - I left my diaphragm. - Diaphragm? 487 00:18:45,319 --> 00:18:47,419 Yeah, I've just started using it. 488 00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:50,290 And I gotta go 'cause someone's gonna get it. 489 00:18:51,993 --> 00:18:53,278 (kiss) 490 00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:57,530 What kind of florist is this? 491 00:18:57,632 --> 00:18:59,069 She's cut off. 492 00:19:01,802 --> 00:19:03,101 Hey. (clattering) 493 00:19:03,203 --> 00:19:05,336 Oh, (bleep). You okay? 494 00:19:05,438 --> 00:19:07,248 - You alright? - Whoo! 495 00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:08,707 Okay. 496 00:19:08,809 --> 00:19:10,942 Yeah? Okay. 497 00:19:11,045 --> 00:19:12,243 You're safe. Cheers. 498 00:19:12,345 --> 00:19:14,680 Happy anniversary, right? 499 00:19:14,782 --> 00:19:16,404 I can't believe you remembered. 500 00:19:17,499 --> 00:19:18,448 Remembered. 501 00:19:18,551 --> 00:19:20,582 Four weeks ago was our first kiss. 502 00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:21,652 (sighs) 503 00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:26,917 I... obviously remember when we kissed first. 504 00:19:26,952 --> 00:19:28,625 (sighs) 505 00:19:28,728 --> 00:19:30,327 (inhaling deeply) 506 00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,406 Yeah. You know, just gonna... 507 00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:38,401 (cracking) Ooh. 508 00:19:38,503 --> 00:19:39,975 - Thank you. - Oh, that's great. 509 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,604 Where's Abbi? I'm starving. 510 00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,810 (whispering) Trey. 511 00:19:46,912 --> 00:19:49,112 (sighing) I'm getting emotional right now. 512 00:19:49,214 --> 00:19:50,580 And I don't want you to see me like this. 513 00:19:50,682 --> 00:19:53,481 - Hey, it's okay. - No, I don't want you to see me like this. 514 00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:54,750 Okay. 515 00:19:54,852 --> 00:19:56,427 I'm gonna go to the coat room or something. 516 00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,982 - Okay. - I'm not feeling... 517 00:19:58,017 --> 00:19:59,819 We need to think about us. 518 00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,117 - Wow. Okay. - I'm gonna be right back. 519 00:20:01,152 --> 00:20:02,513 Alright, hey, take as long as you need. 520 00:20:02,548 --> 00:20:04,879 - Okay, I will... I'm gonna. - Okay. 521 00:20:11,741 --> 00:20:13,367 Oh, here she is. 522 00:20:13,469 --> 00:20:16,244 Sorry, there was a long line at the (bleep) factory. 523 00:20:16,279 --> 00:20:17,905 Oh, Abbi. 524 00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:19,406 (laughing) 525 00:20:19,508 --> 00:20:21,575 - Okay. - Eat, Abbi. 526 00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:23,433 (sighing) 527 00:20:23,468 --> 00:20:26,679 Well, um, with this rare moment of silence, um, 528 00:20:26,782 --> 00:20:28,815 there is something I'd like to share. 529 00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,316 Um... (gagging and coughing) 530 00:20:32,487 --> 00:20:33,764 (Eliot) Mom? (wheezing) 531 00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,255 (Eliot and Ilana) Mom, are you okay? 532 00:20:35,357 --> 00:20:36,823 - Mom, are you okay? - Honey... 533 00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:38,225 - She's choking! - She's choking... help. 534 00:20:38,326 --> 00:20:40,413 (Ilana) She's choking. She's choking, help! 535 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,061 Help, somebody, please help. 536 00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:43,796 Trey, Trey, help! 537 00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:44,563 (Abbi and the Wexlers calling out) 538 00:20:44,665 --> 00:20:46,120 - Coming! - (Eliot) Please, somebody. 539 00:20:46,155 --> 00:20:47,532 (Arthur) Somebody help! 540 00:20:47,635 --> 00:20:49,299 - (Arthur) Somebody! - (Ilana) Does anybody know CPR? 541 00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:53,272 (all shouting) 542 00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:59,195 Here we go! Work with me. 543 00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:03,481 Hoh! 544 00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:04,540 - (Abbi) Oh, my God. - (Arthur) Jesus. 545 00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:06,225 (Arthur) Are you okay, honey? 546 00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:07,185 (Bobbi groaning) Can you breath? 547 00:21:07,287 --> 00:21:08,186 (Abbi) Are you okay? 548 00:21:08,288 --> 00:21:10,221 Oh, god damn lychee. 549 00:21:10,323 --> 00:21:13,185 Oh, Jesus, that was (bleep) scary. 550 00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,025 - (Eliot) Sit down. - You okay? 551 00:21:14,127 --> 00:21:15,093 - Yeah. - (Eliot) Take it easy. 552 00:21:15,195 --> 00:21:16,059 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 553 00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:19,163 Thank you. (sighing) 554 00:21:19,265 --> 00:21:21,516 - Trey? - Who the (bleep) is Trey? 555 00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:23,600 (gasping) Kirk Steele. 556 00:21:23,702 --> 00:21:27,504 Abbi, how did you know Trey was here? 557 00:21:27,606 --> 00:21:28,571 Oh. 558 00:21:28,674 --> 00:21:30,247 We're on a date. 559 00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:31,775 Oh my God. 560 00:21:31,877 --> 00:21:33,936 - This is not... - Oh my God. 561 00:21:34,779 --> 00:21:36,212 Oh my God! 562 00:21:36,314 --> 00:21:38,356 The condom in your room? 563 00:21:38,391 --> 00:21:40,082 (scoffs) The whole time? 564 00:21:40,185 --> 00:21:41,583 The whole time? 565 00:21:41,686 --> 00:21:43,953 The whole time! 566 00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:45,188 I have to go. 567 00:21:45,290 --> 00:21:47,223 I have to leave now. I have to go. 568 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,326 Ilana, wait. 569 00:21:51,428 --> 00:21:53,318 Okay, show's over. 570 00:21:53,931 --> 00:21:56,331 Uh, guys, I have some big news to share. 571 00:21:56,433 --> 00:21:58,300 - What? - Um, I got a promotion 572 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,468 and I'm moving to London. 573 00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,004 No you're not. Sit down and eat your dinner. 574 00:22:03,106 --> 00:22:04,539 Yes. 575 00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:05,340 (sighs) 576 00:22:05,442 --> 00:22:07,774 (whining) Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana. 577 00:22:07,877 --> 00:22:09,471 Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana. 578 00:22:09,684 --> 00:22:12,000 - Hey. - Ilana, I am so sorry. 579 00:22:12,035 --> 00:22:13,547 Dude, I should have told you about Trey. 580 00:22:13,649 --> 00:22:16,350 I don't know, I was like... I was embarrassed and, 581 00:22:16,452 --> 00:22:18,285 dude he does not mean anything to me. 582 00:22:18,387 --> 00:22:21,349 He is a guilty pleasure. He's like a joke. 583 00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:24,657 Trey, no, no, wait... wait. 584 00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,260 I'm not a joke, Abbi. 585 00:22:27,362 --> 00:22:28,461 I thought we were having fun and... 586 00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:30,429 We were... I was having a really good time. 587 00:22:30,531 --> 00:22:32,298 This really sucks, you know. 588 00:22:33,902 --> 00:22:35,168 I'm gonna go. 589 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:36,369 Wait, hold on. 590 00:22:36,471 --> 00:22:39,301 Trey, I did not mean like joke, like, like that. 591 00:22:40,742 --> 00:22:42,741 Ilana, I'm so sorry. 592 00:22:42,843 --> 00:22:45,377 I will never keep a secret from you again. 593 00:22:45,479 --> 00:22:47,337 I promise. You're my best friend. 594 00:22:47,372 --> 00:22:48,914 - I-I-I... it was just coincidence. - I know, I know. 595 00:22:49,016 --> 00:22:50,859 - It's not even that. - I was gonna tell you, I swear. 596 00:22:50,894 --> 00:22:54,186 It's not even that. That's not even it even though it was really... 597 00:22:54,288 --> 00:22:55,420 jarring and... 598 00:22:55,522 --> 00:22:58,923 and I, like, didn't know what was going on and he's so sweet, you know. 599 00:22:59,025 --> 00:23:03,127 And, like, tight body and I'm gonna want full 600 00:23:03,229 --> 00:23:07,265 dick deets when I'm done feeling, but, um... 601 00:23:07,367 --> 00:23:09,100 Lincoln broke up with me. 602 00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:12,728 (sighs) Whatever that means, you know? 603 00:23:12,763 --> 00:23:16,172 My God, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. 604 00:23:16,275 --> 00:23:19,178 - He met some beautiful queen... - A real queen? 605 00:23:19,213 --> 00:23:21,511 No, a queen like, like us. 606 00:23:21,613 --> 00:23:24,514 You know, he wants to be monogamous with her and he should. 607 00:23:24,616 --> 00:23:27,250 He deserves whatever he wants. (crying) 608 00:23:27,352 --> 00:23:30,353 And he doesn't even want to be friends. 609 00:23:30,455 --> 00:23:32,788 You know, he never really did. 610 00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:35,324 I just never heard it. 611 00:23:35,426 --> 00:23:38,060 Okay. It's gonna be okay. 612 00:23:38,162 --> 00:23:39,428 (crying) 613 00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:42,831 Okay, now is the time you tell me dick deets. 614 00:23:45,763 --> 00:23:47,182 He's not responding to my texts. 615 00:23:47,232 --> 00:23:49,299 I guess I'm just gonna have to apologize at work. 616 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,401 Okay, what else have I been keeping a secret? 617 00:23:52,503 --> 00:23:56,706 I think that I was starting to kinda like Trey. 618 00:23:56,808 --> 00:23:58,672 Like... like-like? 619 00:23:58,707 --> 00:24:01,711 Like, like-like. 620 00:24:02,814 --> 00:24:05,132 - That (bleep) sucks. - Yeah. 621 00:24:06,217 --> 00:24:08,550 Um, I'm really attracted 622 00:24:08,652 --> 00:24:11,540 to pre-Weight Watchers Jennifer Hudson. 623 00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:14,255 I once keyed this guy's car, uh, 624 00:24:14,358 --> 00:24:16,290 - because he called me a dirty Jew. - I hate that. 625 00:24:16,393 --> 00:24:19,427 So, I keyed a big Star of David 626 00:24:19,529 --> 00:24:22,130 right onto his driver-side door. 627 00:24:22,165 --> 00:24:25,646 I got super blazed before babysitting Oliver... 628 00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:26,600 (sighs) 629 00:24:26,702 --> 00:24:28,134 and... 630 00:24:28,237 --> 00:24:31,137 I took off my bra 'cause I was, like, feeling loose and, like, 631 00:24:31,172 --> 00:24:35,509 oppressed and wanted to, like, chill and I left my bra in his room. 632 00:24:35,611 --> 00:24:37,244 (laughing) 633 00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:40,342 That was probably a whole thing that you never 634 00:24:40,377 --> 00:24:42,474 found out about again, because you couldn't admit it. 635 00:24:42,509 --> 00:24:42,982 (sighing) 636 00:24:43,084 --> 00:24:45,284 - You can't admit... - No, and then, like... 637 00:24:45,387 --> 00:24:47,987 - like, who knows? - Right, it wasn't sexual. 638 00:24:48,089 --> 00:24:50,220 - Yeah, but, no offense... no offense... - But I'm just like... 639 00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:51,657 That's a bra. 640 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:52,781 Oh. 641 00:24:52,816 --> 00:24:54,059 (together) That's a bra! 642 00:24:54,161 --> 00:24:55,328 (laughing) 643 00:24:55,378 --> 00:24:59,928 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 45490

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