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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:02,163
I still can't believe you
have to take a drug test.
2
00:00:02,266 --> 00:00:06,494
I know. The man gets off sniffing
America's piss these days.
3
00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:09,771
You know that my pee probably
won't pass a drug test either?
4
00:00:09,873 --> 00:00:13,474
I know, but at least it's, like,
human level. It's less embarrassing.
5
00:00:13,576 --> 00:00:15,376
- Right.
- God, I have such swamp ass.
6
00:00:15,478 --> 00:00:18,747
Dude, thongs are the best.
It eliminates an entire layer.
7
00:00:18,849 --> 00:00:21,349
Plus, it soaks up all the
sweat in your... butt crack.
8
00:00:21,451 --> 00:00:23,825
I still cannot believe
you are such a thong head.
9
00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:26,140
It's not for me. It's butt floss.
10
00:00:26,336 --> 00:00:29,207
Thank you so much. Love this look.
11
00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:30,666
I love this look.
12
00:00:30,701 --> 00:00:32,615
(together) God, we're hot.
13
00:00:33,289 --> 00:00:34,906
God, my butt itches.
14
00:00:34,941 --> 00:00:37,590
Yeah, man titties.
15
00:00:37,625 --> 00:00:38,688
(splashing)
16
00:00:41,202 --> 00:00:42,168
(sighing)
17
00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:44,288
Abbi?
18
00:00:44,875 --> 00:00:47,274
Can I, uh, buy you an
ice coffee real quick?
19
00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:50,176
Four and three and
two and one, one
20
00:00:51,141 --> 00:00:54,148
Sync and corrections by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com
21
00:00:55,450 --> 00:00:57,648
Oh, that's amazing.
22
00:00:57,750 --> 00:00:58,716
Oh.
23
00:00:58,818 --> 00:01:00,185
I hope you're not
talking about the kegels.
24
00:01:00,287 --> 00:01:01,553
I was not.
25
00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:05,490
Oh, um, hey, Ab.
26
00:01:05,592 --> 00:01:10,027
Would you maybe want to get, uh,
um, dinner if you're free later?
27
00:01:10,130 --> 00:01:12,363
You mean like a date?
28
00:01:12,466 --> 00:01:14,431
Well, yeah. My treat.
29
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:18,168
Um, I don't know if that's,
like, our thing, right?
30
00:01:18,369 --> 00:01:21,572
Well, yeah. But, you know how when
we have sex you tell me not to talk
31
00:01:21,673 --> 00:01:24,172
so you can concentrate, which
I-I totally get. I get it, but...
32
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:30,390
Um, I just thought, you know, if might
be nice if we have an actual conversation.
33
00:01:31,816 --> 00:01:34,550
Um, yeah.
34
00:01:36,021 --> 00:01:38,154
Okay...
35
00:01:38,256 --> 00:01:39,655
I don't have dinner plans yet.
36
00:01:39,757 --> 00:01:42,091
No... I don't... I mean don't
have dinner plans yet, right?
37
00:01:42,193 --> 00:01:43,859
Is that what you just
asked me? To do dinner?
38
00:01:44,198 --> 00:01:45,341
Awesome sauce.
39
00:01:45,376 --> 00:01:47,195
- Okay.
- Oh, you don't have to.
40
00:01:47,298 --> 00:01:51,961
Um, I, uh, I actually
finished when you said yes.
41
00:01:51,996 --> 00:01:54,036
Aww.
42
00:01:54,138 --> 00:01:56,071
I definitely didn't though.
43
00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:02,777
(sighing) Oh, Madonna.
44
00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:04,155
Rihanna.
45
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,647
Ilana.
46
00:02:06,749 --> 00:02:07,949
(laughing)
47
00:02:08,051 --> 00:02:10,159
Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana.
48
00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:12,456
- Hey, Bonita!
- Hey.
49
00:02:13,722 --> 00:02:16,090
Hey, what are you doing? Come on.
50
00:02:16,192 --> 00:02:17,791
Hi, baby. Do you want a peach, baby?
51
00:02:17,893 --> 00:02:20,861
Do you like a peach? Yeah.
52
00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:22,929
You have got to be kidding me.
53
00:02:23,031 --> 00:02:24,864
We have been doing
business for how long?
54
00:02:24,967 --> 00:02:28,335
I mean... ah! (phone vibrating)
55
00:02:28,537 --> 00:02:29,569
Hello.
56
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,271
(Bobbi) There's been
a terrible accident.
57
00:02:31,373 --> 00:02:32,772
Oh my God.
58
00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:34,174
Not us, on the LIE.
59
00:02:34,276 --> 00:02:35,708
Tractor-trailer, overturned.
60
00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:37,914
Bloody, bloody... oh, it's so sad.
61
00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:39,693
You buried the lead. Don't do that.
62
00:02:39,728 --> 00:02:41,969
(Arthur) 1010 WINS says
we're gonna be an hour late,
63
00:02:42,004 --> 00:02:44,516
but Google Map says
20, so... who knows...
64
00:02:44,618 --> 00:02:47,453
I don't trust Google Maps.
It's the cops tracking us.
65
00:02:47,554 --> 00:02:49,520
Steering us away from
their own corruption.
66
00:02:49,555 --> 00:02:50,990
Wag the dog, Ilana.
67
00:02:51,092 --> 00:02:53,792
Wag. The. Dog.
68
00:02:53,894 --> 00:02:56,394
Well, happy anniversary, guys.
69
00:02:56,496 --> 00:02:59,063
- Aww, thank you, sweetheart.
- Love, love, love you.
70
00:02:59,098 --> 00:03:00,798
I'm so excited to see you later.
71
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:02,108
Love you, bye.
72
00:03:02,143 --> 00:03:05,203
73
00:03:06,239 --> 00:03:07,972
We can do this. Somebody'll get up.
74
00:03:08,074 --> 00:03:10,241
- We got this.
- Just wait it out.
75
00:03:10,473 --> 00:03:12,741
- Okay.
- Oh, (bleep).
76
00:03:15,254 --> 00:03:16,213
- Hey!
- No!
77
00:03:16,315 --> 00:03:17,752
I saw you see us see you!
78
00:03:17,787 --> 00:03:19,379
(both) (bleep) you.
79
00:03:20,619 --> 00:03:21,851
- So angry.
- Yeah.
80
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:23,198
Inappropriate.
81
00:03:23,233 --> 00:03:24,624
Oh, here's one.
82
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:27,024
Oh, it only has one chair.
83
00:03:27,126 --> 00:03:28,658
Okay, we can do this.
84
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,220
Alright, oh, I'll grab a chair.
He's just using it a foot rest.
85
00:03:32,096 --> 00:03:33,624
Hi, can I grab this?
86
00:03:33,659 --> 00:03:34,872
Oh, sorry. I'm using it.
87
00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:37,585
Oh, totally, but we're actually
two people. We just wanna both sit.
88
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,235
No, no. I'm-I'm using the chair.
89
00:03:39,337 --> 00:03:40,403
I mean...
90
00:03:40,505 --> 00:03:42,571
we all wish we could have
ottomans in the park...
91
00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:44,573
Are you deaf? Like, I'm using the chair.
92
00:03:44,675 --> 00:03:45,774
- Okay, I'm gonna take the chair.
- I said...
93
00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:48,276
No... 'cause you're, like, being
a dick. I'm gonna take the chair.
94
00:03:48,378 --> 00:03:50,445
Oh, my God. Okay, I'm just gonna...
95
00:03:50,547 --> 00:03:52,713
No, don't touch... Don't touch it.
96
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:53,915
- No, I'm not...
- Leave it.
97
00:03:54,017 --> 00:03:55,050
- No, alright, I...
- You know what?
98
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,252
- You can take the chair. Take the chair.
- I can't... I'm not taking the chair.
99
00:03:57,354 --> 00:03:58,553
- You own this chair.
- Please, please take the chair.
100
00:03:58,655 --> 00:03:59,754
- No, no, okay, I just sorry.
- Don't touch me.
101
00:03:59,856 --> 00:04:01,156
- Don't touch me.
- Okay, I would not.
102
00:04:01,258 --> 00:04:02,646
- I would not.
- Take the chair...
103
00:04:02,681 --> 00:04:04,458
- I'm not gonna take it.
- And go... Bye.
104
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,724
- Okay. Okay.
- Bye. Thank you.
105
00:04:08,397 --> 00:04:10,297
I just straight up asked
that couple over there.
106
00:04:10,399 --> 00:04:11,532
They're so sweet.
107
00:04:11,633 --> 00:04:13,842
Hi. Cuties... thanks.
108
00:04:14,736 --> 00:04:17,473
Man, I feel like I haven't
seen you in "lit-roll" days.
109
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:20,006
God, you're glowing.
Your skin is glowing.
110
00:04:20,108 --> 00:04:21,136
- Really?
- Yeah.
111
00:04:21,262 --> 00:04:22,308
What have you been doing?
112
00:04:22,410 --> 00:04:24,277
Just been busy with Trey...
113
00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:25,578
Ning.
114
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:26,845
Training with Trey. Y'know?
115
00:04:26,948 --> 00:04:28,481
He's just been on me.
116
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,015
So annoying. Get him off.
117
00:04:30,118 --> 00:04:31,750
I would not get him off!
118
00:04:31,852 --> 00:04:32,927
What?
119
00:04:32,962 --> 00:04:36,555
You trippin', boo.
120
00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:38,823
I don't wanna Ta... I don't think
we should talk about it anymore.
121
00:04:38,925 --> 00:04:41,394
We should talk about positive
stuff like your parents, dude.
122
00:04:41,429 --> 00:04:42,757
- Your parents.
- I know.
123
00:04:42,792 --> 00:04:44,541
35 years! That is impressive.
124
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,069
Oh my God, I didn't even ask you.
125
00:04:46,104 --> 00:04:47,637
You can totally come to their
anniversary dinner tonight.
126
00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:49,301
- We would love to have you.
- No, it's cool.
127
00:04:49,403 --> 00:04:51,862
- It's a family thing.
- Girl, you're family.
128
00:04:51,897 --> 00:04:53,037
You know, unless you have plans.
129
00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,738
I-I-I... uh, I do
actually have plans.
130
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:55,992
Cool, whatcha doin'?
131
00:04:57,610 --> 00:04:58,809
Yeah.
132
00:04:58,911 --> 00:05:00,444
What are your plans tonight?
133
00:05:00,546 --> 00:05:01,245
I...
134
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:03,417
am...
135
00:05:05,851 --> 00:05:08,552
Training Shania Twain.
136
00:05:08,654 --> 00:05:10,821
(laughing ecstatically)
137
00:05:10,923 --> 00:05:12,093
Are you kidding me?
138
00:05:12,128 --> 00:05:14,524
- No.
- That is hysterical.
139
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,359
That is your go to lie.
140
00:05:16,461 --> 00:05:18,461
I know, but not now.
141
00:05:18,563 --> 00:05:21,564
Oh my God. That does
impress-ah me much.
142
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:22,721
Don't keep it from me.
143
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:23,899
- I wouldn't.
- Don't keep anything from me.
144
00:05:24,002 --> 00:05:25,303
- I wouldn't.
- You know, it could kill me.
145
00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:26,599
- Right.
- It kills me!
146
00:05:27,056 --> 00:05:28,899
To feel any distance here.
147
00:05:28,934 --> 00:05:30,624
- That's all.
- Totally. I would not do that.
148
00:05:30,659 --> 00:05:32,907
- Love ya.
- I love you, too.
149
00:05:33,010 --> 00:05:35,310
Wow. (sighing)
150
00:05:35,412 --> 00:05:37,112
Is that Lincoln?
151
00:05:37,214 --> 00:05:39,248
Oh, my gee, Lincoln. Come here.
152
00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:40,406
What are you doin'?
153
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,252
Hey. What's up?
154
00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:44,085
'Sup, Ab?
155
00:05:44,188 --> 00:05:46,621
I was waiting for you guys to finish
156
00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:48,689
so we could talk privately.
157
00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:49,617
Oh.
158
00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:54,295
Me?
159
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:55,763
I have to go.
160
00:05:55,865 --> 00:05:56,979
Later, Lincoln.
161
00:05:57,014 --> 00:05:57,898
Later, Ab.
162
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,300
Hello.
163
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,835
(sighing)
164
00:06:01,937 --> 00:06:05,078
Watching that ass walk away
makes me sweat, too. (chuckles)
165
00:06:05,126 --> 00:06:06,266
No, I...
166
00:06:06,301 --> 00:06:08,129
I need to talk about something.
167
00:06:08,277 --> 00:06:10,610
Some stuff was at my place
168
00:06:10,712 --> 00:06:12,078
that I need to return to you.
169
00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:15,400
Why are you giving the
(bleep) ring back to me?
170
00:06:15,435 --> 00:06:18,251
That's what I needed
to talk with you about.
171
00:06:18,353 --> 00:06:20,586
I've been seein' that girl, as you know.
172
00:06:20,688 --> 00:06:22,054
And have encouraged.
173
00:06:22,156 --> 00:06:24,643
And it's gotten to the point where
I need to talk to you about it.
174
00:06:24,678 --> 00:06:27,359
"Final-lee," some
juicy, (bleep) details.
175
00:06:27,461 --> 00:06:28,827
- I want the play by play.
- No, no, no.
176
00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:30,473
- Frame by frame.
- No.
177
00:06:30,698 --> 00:06:32,116
I wanna be monogamous.
178
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,300
I'm sorry, we've...
179
00:06:34,402 --> 00:06:36,801
talked about this so
many times, I just...
180
00:06:36,903 --> 00:06:38,969
- It's just not for me.
- No, with the other girl.
181
00:06:39,072 --> 00:06:41,855
Our arrangement is perfect
for me, just as it is.
182
00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:43,452
We wanna be monogamous with each other.
183
00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:45,849
No we don't. You're not listening even.
184
00:06:45,884 --> 00:06:47,521
We haven't had a
threesome with a boy yet.
185
00:06:47,556 --> 00:06:48,879
I'm talking about Steph.
186
00:06:48,981 --> 00:06:50,648
She's my girlfriend now, Ilana.
187
00:06:50,750 --> 00:06:52,550
We're together.
188
00:06:52,652 --> 00:06:54,251
Uh...
189
00:06:55,269 --> 00:06:56,495
okay.
190
00:06:59,301 --> 00:07:01,302
- Cool.
- Listen, Ilana.
191
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:05,829
I love you, but, I wanna
be in a relationship
192
00:07:05,931 --> 00:07:09,065
and you wanna do other
stuff, which is fine.
193
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:10,399
That's cool, but...
194
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:14,719
we want different things,
so, I gotta move on.
195
00:07:15,039 --> 00:07:17,264
But we can still hang out as friends.
196
00:07:17,475 --> 00:07:18,774
Obviously.
197
00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:21,152
I don't think we're just friends.
198
00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:22,311
So...
199
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:26,010
No.
200
00:07:29,543 --> 00:07:32,687
Well, uh, we will talk when we talk
201
00:07:32,789 --> 00:07:35,056
and I'll see you when I see you
202
00:07:35,158 --> 00:07:38,260
in a more professional
capacity from here on out, uh,
203
00:07:38,362 --> 00:07:40,904
- which is great.
- Ilana, you good? You wanna...
204
00:07:40,939 --> 00:07:42,570
- Yep, great.
- Hang out for a little bit...
205
00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:43,891
Oh, no, I'm gonna head out,
206
00:07:43,926 --> 00:07:47,100
'cause this is just
cool and how life goes.
207
00:07:47,202 --> 00:07:49,094
So, that's it. I'll see you.
208
00:07:49,129 --> 00:07:50,906
That's... see ya.
209
00:07:52,942 --> 00:07:54,275
Lincoln, wait.
210
00:07:59,948 --> 00:08:01,481
(blows raspberry)
211
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,515
(chuckles)
212
00:08:03,785 --> 00:08:05,084
(laughs)
213
00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:13,213
She's still running.
214
00:08:13,337 --> 00:08:15,754
Her running is a metaphor.
215
00:08:19,046 --> 00:08:20,946
Whoa, Ab.
216
00:08:21,048 --> 00:08:22,780
What's up with that outfit?
217
00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:24,015
It's confused.
218
00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:25,550
(sighs)
219
00:08:25,652 --> 00:08:26,911
I'm going on a date.
220
00:08:26,946 --> 00:08:29,186
All right, girl. Just the
deets. I know the person?
221
00:08:29,288 --> 00:08:31,389
Anybody I know? Who is it?
222
00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:33,491
Okay. Yeah, you know.
223
00:08:33,593 --> 00:08:34,926
You know him. (excited gasping)
224
00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:36,360
Who? Who?
225
00:08:36,462 --> 00:08:38,396
- Who, who, who, who, who?
- I'm, like, embarrassed about it.
226
00:08:38,498 --> 00:08:41,064
I'm not... I'm not embarrassed about
it, but I've been in denial about it.
227
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:42,872
- Like I haven't even told Ilana.
- Ooh.
228
00:08:42,907 --> 00:08:46,685
Am I at the farmer's market
'cause this is so juicy.
229
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:47,938
- Okay.
- It's a peach.
230
00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:49,801
The white peaches at
the farmer's market.
231
00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:51,441
Okay. Uh...
232
00:08:51,544 --> 00:08:52,809
it's Trey.
233
00:08:57,982 --> 00:08:59,448
- My Trey?
- Well...
234
00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:00,850
Why would you be embarrassed?
235
00:09:00,952 --> 00:09:05,760
I mean, I'm obviously straight,
but I would absolutely suck him dry.
236
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,890
- Okay. Thanks so much, Bevers.
- No, no, no, no.
237
00:09:07,992 --> 00:09:09,124
Oh, no, no, no, no.
238
00:09:09,226 --> 00:09:10,760
I'll be good, I'll
be good, I'll be good.
239
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:12,795
So what are we trying
to say with this outfit?
240
00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:14,162
I don't know.
241
00:09:14,264 --> 00:09:17,866
I just need the look
to say that I want to be
242
00:09:17,968 --> 00:09:19,427
sex friends only.
243
00:09:19,462 --> 00:09:20,769
All right, got it.
244
00:09:20,871 --> 00:09:24,600
Let's figure something out that's
gonna let you maintain that status quo.
245
00:09:24,635 --> 00:09:26,651
- Okay.
- Before we get started...
246
00:09:26,686 --> 00:09:28,677
Will you give me some dick deets?
247
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:29,678
(sighs)
248
00:09:29,780 --> 00:09:33,614
249
00:09:33,716 --> 00:09:35,650
(snaps fingers)
250
00:09:35,752 --> 00:09:37,084
Knee caps, baby.
251
00:09:37,186 --> 00:09:38,857
Those thighs could crack a coconut.
252
00:09:38,892 --> 00:09:40,621
Make me a "Vaginia-colada" (sucking)
253
00:09:40,723 --> 00:09:42,089
(barking)
254
00:09:42,419 --> 00:09:44,491
- Yes!
- (Bobbi) Is this what you do?
255
00:09:44,594 --> 00:09:45,693
I love this.
256
00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:46,894
(imitating a siren)
257
00:09:46,996 --> 00:09:51,030
Oh, mommy, I would sip Dem
milkbags like a Capri Sun.
258
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,032
You Betty me "Veron-ing" ya.
259
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,237
Yowza, baby.
260
00:09:55,272 --> 00:09:56,497
(Bobbi) All right, now
you're going too far.
261
00:09:56,532 --> 00:09:57,770
Oh, here we go.
262
00:09:57,872 --> 00:09:59,138
Strong back muscles.
263
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,608
Butt clenched... I like 'em nervous.
264
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:04,843
I'd wrap my thighs around
that big basketball head.
265
00:10:05,281 --> 00:10:07,480
- Yeah?
- Ew, what the (bleep).
266
00:10:07,515 --> 00:10:09,982
- Oh, Ilana. That's your brother.
- That was bad.
267
00:10:10,084 --> 00:10:11,549
- No, I'm really excited, thank you so much.
- That was so bad.
268
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,719
- That sucked.
- Yeah, it really was not a good place to go.
269
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:15,286
Oh my God, guys. I have some big news.
270
00:10:15,388 --> 00:10:16,655
Oh, I have big news, too.
271
00:10:16,757 --> 00:10:19,024
You know your sister was just
talking about you sexually.
272
00:10:19,126 --> 00:10:20,792
- Ew, what?
- I didn't know.
273
00:10:20,894 --> 00:10:22,636
Sorry, but CrossFit is shredding you.
274
00:10:22,637 --> 00:10:25,295
Please. Incest would destroy
our already weak bloodlines.
275
00:10:25,397 --> 00:10:27,231
Anxiety, depression, enough.
276
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,766
- Let's go kids.
- Okay.
277
00:10:28,868 --> 00:10:30,134
Oh.
278
00:10:30,236 --> 00:10:31,702
Guess I'll save it.
279
00:10:31,804 --> 00:10:35,405
280
00:10:35,508 --> 00:10:36,841
Mask up.
281
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:40,977
The empire waist is reading very Mormon.
282
00:10:41,079 --> 00:10:42,478
You're beggin' to have his babies.
283
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:43,850
Let's move on.
284
00:10:45,017 --> 00:10:47,250
- Ugh... Next!
- What?
285
00:10:47,352 --> 00:10:49,007
Don't waste my time.
286
00:10:50,088 --> 00:10:51,521
Mask up.
287
00:10:51,623 --> 00:10:53,556
(sighs)
288
00:10:53,659 --> 00:10:57,860
Mainline skirt is a flattering silhouette
for your hourglass figure, but...
289
00:10:57,962 --> 00:10:59,914
- it's reading a little too sexy.
- Really?
290
00:10:59,949 --> 00:11:01,819
I mean, we could let the
seam out an inch or two,
291
00:11:01,854 --> 00:11:03,632
make it a little less
form fitting, but...
292
00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:06,635
those legs, I mean, you just
got those slut legs sticking out.
293
00:11:06,737 --> 00:11:08,470
How the (bleep) do you know
this much about fashion.
294
00:11:08,572 --> 00:11:11,868
You know, I worked every summer at my
Grandma's department store in St. Louis.
295
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,507
Lord and Bevers.
296
00:11:13,609 --> 00:11:14,776
Oh.
297
00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:16,503
Um, 'Kay, mask down.
298
00:11:16,913 --> 00:11:18,379
Mask up.
299
00:11:23,787 --> 00:11:26,036
I don't know why I
didn't try it on first.
300
00:11:28,191 --> 00:11:29,223
(phone vibrating)
301
00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:30,290
(sighing) Okay.
302
00:11:31,794 --> 00:11:32,693
Hi.
303
00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,427
I am meeting a Mr. Trey...
304
00:11:34,529 --> 00:11:35,986
- Oh, Mr. Pucker.
- Yeah.
305
00:11:36,021 --> 00:11:37,630
He arrived about a half an hour ago.
306
00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:38,760
- Am I late?
- No.
307
00:11:38,795 --> 00:11:41,496
- He was just very early. Follow me.
- Okay.
308
00:11:42,304 --> 00:11:43,826
Half an hour.
309
00:11:44,306 --> 00:11:45,638
- Abbi.
- Hey, Trey.
310
00:11:45,741 --> 00:11:47,039
Hey, you look awesome.
311
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:50,142
- Thanks, wow. Thank you.
- Here you go.
312
00:11:50,244 --> 00:11:51,957
- Fancy.
- How about this table, huh?
313
00:11:51,992 --> 00:11:54,747
- Oh, it's a great table.
- Check out the menu. It's so tight.
314
00:11:54,849 --> 00:11:56,949
I even moved my cheat day in
case you wanna split stuff,
315
00:11:57,051 --> 00:11:58,117
share aps, whatever you wanna do.
316
00:11:58,219 --> 00:11:59,592
I moved my cheat day, too.
317
00:11:59,627 --> 00:12:01,620
- So we can eat whatever we want.
- Great.
318
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,055
Hi, what would you like?
319
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:04,622
- Hey, I-I know.
- II could...
320
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:05,957
Um... Okay.
321
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:09,260
Okay, I'm gonna do the pan roasted
turbot with fennel pollen aioli,
322
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:12,463
prosciutto, borlotti beans,
parsnips, turnips and carrots.
323
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,967
- So the Turbot. Yeah.
- Uh, I'm gonna do the chicken.
324
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,448
- Alright, very good.
- Great.
325
00:12:16,483 --> 00:12:18,123
- Cool.
- Thanks.
326
00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,403
(clears throat) Well...
327
00:12:20,325 --> 00:12:21,529
Okay.
328
00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:23,607
To new beginnings.
329
00:12:23,709 --> 00:12:24,742
Yeah...
330
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:26,910
But also,
331
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:29,479
to how it is.
332
00:12:29,581 --> 00:12:30,680
Now.
333
00:12:30,774 --> 00:12:32,667
- Presently.
- Yes.
334
00:12:32,811 --> 00:12:34,506
- You know? Do you understand?
- Yeah.
335
00:12:34,539 --> 00:12:36,458
- To the present. To the present.
- To right now... yeah.
336
00:12:36,493 --> 00:12:37,854
- Let's cheers.
- Awesome.
337
00:12:37,956 --> 00:12:38,921
Awesome.
338
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,324
That's good... You know what?
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
339
00:12:42,426 --> 00:12:44,493
- I'll be right back.
- Alright, yeah. Make room.
340
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,438
Hey, do you know where the bathroom is?
341
00:12:47,439 --> 00:12:49,493
Uh, there's one right over there
and then there's one down the stairs.
342
00:12:49,528 --> 00:12:50,566
Great, thanks.
343
00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:53,636
Oh, (bleep).
344
00:12:53,738 --> 00:12:54,879
(bleep) me.
345
00:12:54,914 --> 00:12:57,438
So what's that plant called? That plant.
346
00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,652
- Sansevieria.
- "Senseverion."
347
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,710
- No, no.
- (Bobbi) I caught you.
348
00:13:02,813 --> 00:13:05,881
Oh, my sweet girl,
349
00:13:05,983 --> 00:13:09,549
you surprised me on my anniversary.
350
00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:11,802
Surprise...
351
00:13:12,006 --> 00:13:15,775
Look who I found tip toeing
around trying to surprise us.
352
00:13:15,877 --> 00:13:18,911
- Can you believe this little
sneak. - I'm-I'm sneakin'.
353
00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:22,779
- Sit, sit.
- Ab, have yourself a lei.
354
00:13:23,524 --> 00:13:25,083
Bob and I are going to Hawaii.
355
00:13:25,186 --> 00:13:27,137
- Thank you.
- I surprised her.
356
00:13:27,172 --> 00:13:29,188
(Arthur) At first, she was
mad and then she was glad.
357
00:13:29,290 --> 00:13:33,058
Just because now I need all new sarongs,
but, you know what, It's fine. It's fine.
358
00:13:33,161 --> 00:13:34,693
I'm happy to go.
359
00:13:34,795 --> 00:13:36,338
(kissing rapidly)
360
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,928
You pretty little liar.
361
00:13:38,031 --> 00:13:40,431
Shania my ass.
362
00:13:40,534 --> 00:13:43,067
I'm not mad, though, because
you surprised my family.
363
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,870
I love this. I love this!
364
00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:49,340
Everyone is happy and
nothing has changed.
365
00:13:49,442 --> 00:13:51,976
I am very vulnerable right now,
so I'm gonna need to fill you in
366
00:13:52,078 --> 00:13:54,578
later when I'm not around... (whistling)
367
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,461
- Cannot handle her questions.
- Okay.
368
00:13:56,496 --> 00:13:58,782
(Bobbi) I guess we're just gonna
have to toast to honesty then, huh?
369
00:13:58,884 --> 00:14:01,250
Could we get lychee
martinis for the whole table.
370
00:14:01,285 --> 00:14:02,686
Alright, are we ready to order?
371
00:14:03,190 --> 00:14:05,289
- (Bobbi) Yeah, Arthur, you go first.
- Okay, well, I'm...
372
00:14:05,391 --> 00:14:07,090
I'm gonna have the duck.
373
00:14:07,193 --> 00:14:08,825
With extra breast.
374
00:14:08,927 --> 00:14:10,414
Wasn't that... that was that was funny.
375
00:14:10,674 --> 00:14:12,171
(waitress) Mmm, all right.
376
00:14:12,206 --> 00:14:14,730
(coughing) I'm gonna have the chicken.
377
00:14:14,832 --> 00:14:16,332
Please. I love chicken.
378
00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:19,402
(Ilana slurping) (Eliot)
Uh, I'm gonna have the baked
379
00:14:19,504 --> 00:14:21,437
- portabella mushroom wellington, please.
- (Arthur) Oh, I like that.
380
00:14:21,539 --> 00:14:24,473
(Bobbi) I will have the prawns,
381
00:14:24,474 --> 00:14:29,296
but I have to have the curry sauce on
the side. I can't handle that kinda heat.
382
00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:30,935
And...
383
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,780
- Pork chop, babe.
- Thank you.
384
00:14:32,882 --> 00:14:34,982
So, Abbi, we have incredible news.
385
00:14:35,085 --> 00:14:37,719
- Okay.
- We got the cemetery plot!
386
00:14:38,565 --> 00:14:41,122
(Arthur) We had a bidding war,
but it was totally worth it,
387
00:14:41,225 --> 00:14:43,758
because we're under this
beautiful, beautiful tree.
388
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:47,194
And, also, most of all, we are
nowhere near the Schwartz's.
389
00:14:47,296 --> 00:14:48,495
No. (Bobbi and Arthur laughing)
390
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:51,232
(slurping)
391
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:56,637
Mazel. Tov.
392
00:14:56,739 --> 00:14:57,671
(sharp inhale)
393
00:14:57,773 --> 00:14:59,840
Oh, man.
394
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:00,874
Oh.
395
00:15:00,976 --> 00:15:02,975
I forgot to... I need to pla...
396
00:15:03,077 --> 00:15:06,078
I need to replace my
bandage. 'Cause it's fallen.
397
00:15:06,180 --> 00:15:07,694
It's fallen loose.
398
00:15:08,217 --> 00:15:10,469
It's ba... It's gonna
be bad if I don't go.
399
00:15:10,504 --> 00:15:12,294
Imma be right back. Go to the bathroom.
400
00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:15,421
Huh.
401
00:15:15,599 --> 00:15:18,296
Hi, you have the wrong
menu. I'm just gonna take it.
402
00:15:22,062 --> 00:15:24,902
This is great... options.
You guys are cute.
403
00:15:26,486 --> 00:15:27,925
- Hey, there you are.
- Hi.
404
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,528
Was gettin' worried you fell in.
405
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,060
I did. It was a big toilet.
406
00:15:31,095 --> 00:15:32,838
- You did?
- No, I didn't fall in.
407
00:15:32,873 --> 00:15:34,005
So, two things.
408
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,674
One, I got you something.
409
00:15:36,776 --> 00:15:39,644
Oh... okay.
410
00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,212
- It's a...
- Corsage! Yeah.
411
00:15:42,315 --> 00:15:44,452
You know how you said you
didn't go to prom? Well...
412
00:15:44,487 --> 00:15:47,585
- Yeah.
- It's kind of a joke, but... it's also real.
413
00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:49,614
Thank you. That is so nice.
414
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,304
- Put it on.
- Here?
415
00:15:51,339 --> 00:15:52,861
- Yeah.
- Uh, okay.
416
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,993
See, it's funny, but it's also pretty.
417
00:15:57,095 --> 00:15:58,795
You look awesome.
418
00:15:58,897 --> 00:16:01,030
Uh, the other thing: today I found out
419
00:16:01,132 --> 00:16:04,167
I qualified for
"American Ninja Warrior."
420
00:16:04,269 --> 00:16:07,467
Shut up! Trey, I (bleep) love that show.
421
00:16:07,502 --> 00:16:08,871
- You do?
- Yeah, are you kidding?
422
00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:10,272
Congrats, this is amazing.
423
00:16:10,374 --> 00:16:11,976
- You should come with me.
- No...
424
00:16:12,011 --> 00:16:14,117
Yeah, you could totally
stretch me out or something.
425
00:16:14,152 --> 00:16:17,033
Uh, yeah, I am the master stretcher.
426
00:16:17,068 --> 00:16:17,546
(Ilana laughing)
427
00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:19,142
Come on.
428
00:16:19,177 --> 00:16:20,716
(grunting)
429
00:16:20,818 --> 00:16:21,750
Mmmm.
430
00:16:23,887 --> 00:16:25,421
Mmmm.
431
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:29,312
Wow.
432
00:16:29,347 --> 00:16:31,225
- We'll start with your legs.
- Great.
433
00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:33,536
And then I could stretch the upper body.
434
00:16:33,571 --> 00:16:35,371
- We can start wherever you want.
- Okay.
435
00:16:35,406 --> 00:16:39,667
(breathing heavily)
436
00:16:39,769 --> 00:16:41,536
- Oh, this is so hot.
- Yeah.
437
00:16:41,638 --> 00:16:45,133
My wife's totally pumpin'
and dumpin' like 40 feet away.
438
00:16:45,168 --> 00:16:46,406
Really?
439
00:16:46,508 --> 00:16:48,274
Well...
440
00:16:48,377 --> 00:16:49,976
- For real.
- Well, yeah.
441
00:16:50,078 --> 00:16:51,311
What'd you think?
442
00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:54,548
Are you guys, like, chill,
or, like, open relationship?
443
00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:56,182
What, are you retarded?
444
00:16:56,284 --> 00:16:58,218
Open relationships are unstable.
445
00:16:58,320 --> 00:16:59,918
Cheating is victimless.
446
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:02,921
Yeah... this is... this is done.
447
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,090
I don't even know what I'm doing.
448
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,869
And lose the nipple rings.
449
00:17:11,999 --> 00:17:12,898
(sighs)
450
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,704
Where were you, Miss Ilana?
451
00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:17,669
I was taking a (bleep)
if you have to know.
452
00:17:17,931 --> 00:17:19,528
- Ilana...
- I have something to say.
453
00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:24,509
You guys must be a really
amazing team if you had two
454
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:28,079
perfect children and have
stayed together for 35 years.
455
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,919
Wow. It was quite a (bleep), huh?
456
00:17:30,954 --> 00:17:32,430
(Bobbi) Ah, fresh Lychee's.
457
00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:33,804
- (Arthur) Oh great.
- (Bobbi) Let's toast.
458
00:17:33,839 --> 00:17:35,194
- Oh, gosh.
- Where's Abbi?
459
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:39,056
So, these are my twin sisters.
They're my best friends.
460
00:17:39,157 --> 00:17:40,624
- I mean, they got all the
brains, honestly. - Mm-hm, lovely.
461
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,525
It's just genetics, you know?
462
00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:45,295
And, uh, they're teachers right
now. They teach middle school.
463
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,863
They pretend to be the same person.
464
00:17:46,966 --> 00:17:48,966
It's genius.
465
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:52,034
Whoa. Uh... hello.
466
00:17:52,136 --> 00:17:53,035
Doctor?
467
00:17:53,137 --> 00:17:54,637
What do you mean, "Test results"?
468
00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:55,871
You have them.
469
00:17:55,974 --> 00:17:57,339
(whispering) I have to get
this... this is important.
470
00:17:57,441 --> 00:17:59,075
- I'm so sorry, it's rude.
- Take it, take the call.
471
00:17:59,176 --> 00:18:00,843
Okay. I'll be right back.
472
00:18:02,947 --> 00:18:04,379
She's always sick.
473
00:18:06,918 --> 00:18:08,178
(Ilana) There she is.
474
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,326
(Bobbi) Fresh Lychee's, Ab.
475
00:18:11,361 --> 00:18:13,341
Where'd you get the corsage, Ab?
476
00:18:14,925 --> 00:18:17,908
I ran into my florist.
477
00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:21,329
"My florist," excuse me, Queen of Sheba.
478
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:23,331
Okay, back to business.
479
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:24,633
- Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary!
480
00:18:24,735 --> 00:18:28,702
Happy anniversary!
You guys are just love!
481
00:18:31,941 --> 00:18:33,607
(sipping)
482
00:18:34,383 --> 00:18:36,877
Oh, Jesus.
483
00:18:36,979 --> 00:18:39,124
My diaphragm...
484
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,481
I left it...
485
00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:42,849
Cathy comic.
486
00:18:42,951 --> 00:18:45,217
- I left my diaphragm.
- Diaphragm?
487
00:18:45,319 --> 00:18:47,419
Yeah, I've just started using it.
488
00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:50,290
And I gotta go 'cause
someone's gonna get it.
489
00:18:51,993 --> 00:18:53,278
(kiss)
490
00:18:55,563 --> 00:18:57,530
What kind of florist is this?
491
00:18:57,632 --> 00:18:59,069
She's cut off.
492
00:19:01,802 --> 00:19:03,101
Hey. (clattering)
493
00:19:03,203 --> 00:19:05,336
Oh, (bleep). You okay?
494
00:19:05,438 --> 00:19:07,248
- You alright?
- Whoo!
495
00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:08,707
Okay.
496
00:19:08,809 --> 00:19:10,942
Yeah? Okay.
497
00:19:11,045 --> 00:19:12,243
You're safe. Cheers.
498
00:19:12,345 --> 00:19:14,680
Happy anniversary, right?
499
00:19:14,782 --> 00:19:16,404
I can't believe you remembered.
500
00:19:17,499 --> 00:19:18,448
Remembered.
501
00:19:18,551 --> 00:19:20,582
Four weeks ago was our first kiss.
502
00:19:20,619 --> 00:19:21,652
(sighs)
503
00:19:21,914 --> 00:19:26,917
I... obviously remember
when we kissed first.
504
00:19:26,952 --> 00:19:28,625
(sighs)
505
00:19:28,728 --> 00:19:30,327
(inhaling deeply)
506
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,406
Yeah. You know, just gonna...
507
00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:38,401
(cracking) Ooh.
508
00:19:38,503 --> 00:19:39,975
- Thank you.
- Oh, that's great.
509
00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,604
Where's Abbi? I'm starving.
510
00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:46,810
(whispering) Trey.
511
00:19:46,912 --> 00:19:49,112
(sighing) I'm getting
emotional right now.
512
00:19:49,214 --> 00:19:50,580
And I don't want you
to see me like this.
513
00:19:50,682 --> 00:19:53,481
- Hey, it's okay.
- No, I don't want you to see me like this.
514
00:19:53,584 --> 00:19:54,750
Okay.
515
00:19:54,852 --> 00:19:56,427
I'm gonna go to the
coat room or something.
516
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:57,982
- Okay.
- I'm not feeling...
517
00:19:58,017 --> 00:19:59,819
We need to think about us.
518
00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,117
- Wow. Okay.
- I'm gonna be right back.
519
00:20:01,152 --> 00:20:02,513
Alright, hey, take as long as you need.
520
00:20:02,548 --> 00:20:04,879
- Okay, I will... I'm gonna.
- Okay.
521
00:20:11,741 --> 00:20:13,367
Oh, here she is.
522
00:20:13,469 --> 00:20:16,244
Sorry, there was a long
line at the (bleep) factory.
523
00:20:16,279 --> 00:20:17,905
Oh, Abbi.
524
00:20:18,007 --> 00:20:19,406
(laughing)
525
00:20:19,508 --> 00:20:21,575
- Okay.
- Eat, Abbi.
526
00:20:21,677 --> 00:20:23,433
(sighing)
527
00:20:23,468 --> 00:20:26,679
Well, um, with this rare
moment of silence, um,
528
00:20:26,782 --> 00:20:28,815
there is something I'd like to share.
529
00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,316
Um... (gagging and coughing)
530
00:20:32,487 --> 00:20:33,764
(Eliot) Mom? (wheezing)
531
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,255
(Eliot and Ilana) Mom, are you okay?
532
00:20:35,357 --> 00:20:36,823
- Mom, are you okay?
- Honey...
533
00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:38,225
- She's choking!
- She's choking... help.
534
00:20:38,326 --> 00:20:40,413
(Ilana) She's choking.
She's choking, help!
535
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,061
Help, somebody, please help.
536
00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:43,796
Trey, Trey, help!
537
00:20:43,831 --> 00:20:44,563
(Abbi and the Wexlers calling out)
538
00:20:44,665 --> 00:20:46,120
- Coming!
- (Eliot) Please, somebody.
539
00:20:46,155 --> 00:20:47,532
(Arthur) Somebody help!
540
00:20:47,635 --> 00:20:49,299
- (Arthur) Somebody!
- (Ilana) Does anybody know CPR?
541
00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:53,272
(all shouting)
542
00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:59,195
Here we go! Work with me.
543
00:20:59,230 --> 00:21:03,481
Hoh!
544
00:21:03,583 --> 00:21:04,540
- (Abbi) Oh, my God.
- (Arthur) Jesus.
545
00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:06,225
(Arthur) Are you okay, honey?
546
00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:07,185
(Bobbi groaning) Can you breath?
547
00:21:07,287 --> 00:21:08,186
(Abbi) Are you okay?
548
00:21:08,288 --> 00:21:10,221
Oh, god damn lychee.
549
00:21:10,323 --> 00:21:13,185
Oh, Jesus, that was (bleep) scary.
550
00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,025
- (Eliot) Sit down.
- You okay?
551
00:21:14,127 --> 00:21:15,093
- Yeah.
- (Eliot) Take it easy.
552
00:21:15,195 --> 00:21:16,059
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
553
00:21:16,162 --> 00:21:19,163
Thank you. (sighing)
554
00:21:19,265 --> 00:21:21,516
- Trey?
- Who the (bleep) is Trey?
555
00:21:21,551 --> 00:21:23,600
(gasping) Kirk Steele.
556
00:21:23,702 --> 00:21:27,504
Abbi, how did you know Trey was here?
557
00:21:27,606 --> 00:21:28,571
Oh.
558
00:21:28,674 --> 00:21:30,247
We're on a date.
559
00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:31,775
Oh my God.
560
00:21:31,877 --> 00:21:33,936
- This is not...
- Oh my God.
561
00:21:34,779 --> 00:21:36,212
Oh my God!
562
00:21:36,314 --> 00:21:38,356
The condom in your room?
563
00:21:38,391 --> 00:21:40,082
(scoffs) The whole time?
564
00:21:40,185 --> 00:21:41,583
The whole time?
565
00:21:41,686 --> 00:21:43,953
The whole time!
566
00:21:44,055 --> 00:21:45,188
I have to go.
567
00:21:45,290 --> 00:21:47,223
I have to leave now. I have to go.
568
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,326
Ilana, wait.
569
00:21:51,428 --> 00:21:53,318
Okay, show's over.
570
00:21:53,931 --> 00:21:56,331
Uh, guys, I have some big news to share.
571
00:21:56,433 --> 00:21:58,300
- What?
- Um, I got a promotion
572
00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,468
and I'm moving to London.
573
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:03,004
No you're not. Sit down
and eat your dinner.
574
00:22:03,106 --> 00:22:04,539
Yes.
575
00:22:04,641 --> 00:22:05,340
(sighs)
576
00:22:05,442 --> 00:22:07,774
(whining) Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana.
577
00:22:07,877 --> 00:22:09,471
Madonna, Rihanna, Ilana.
578
00:22:09,684 --> 00:22:12,000
- Hey.
- Ilana, I am so sorry.
579
00:22:12,035 --> 00:22:13,547
Dude, I should have told you about Trey.
580
00:22:13,649 --> 00:22:16,350
I don't know, I was like...
I was embarrassed and,
581
00:22:16,452 --> 00:22:18,285
dude he does not mean anything to me.
582
00:22:18,387 --> 00:22:21,349
He is a guilty pleasure.
He's like a joke.
583
00:22:23,292 --> 00:22:24,657
Trey, no, no, wait... wait.
584
00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:27,260
I'm not a joke, Abbi.
585
00:22:27,362 --> 00:22:28,461
I thought we were having fun and...
586
00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:30,429
We were... I was having
a really good time.
587
00:22:30,531 --> 00:22:32,298
This really sucks, you know.
588
00:22:33,902 --> 00:22:35,168
I'm gonna go.
589
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:36,369
Wait, hold on.
590
00:22:36,471 --> 00:22:39,301
Trey, I did not mean like
joke, like, like that.
591
00:22:40,742 --> 00:22:42,741
Ilana, I'm so sorry.
592
00:22:42,843 --> 00:22:45,377
I will never keep a
secret from you again.
593
00:22:45,479 --> 00:22:47,337
I promise. You're my best friend.
594
00:22:47,372 --> 00:22:48,914
- I-I-I... it was just
coincidence. - I know, I know.
595
00:22:49,016 --> 00:22:50,859
- It's not even that.
- I was gonna tell you, I swear.
596
00:22:50,894 --> 00:22:54,186
It's not even that. That's not
even it even though it was really...
597
00:22:54,288 --> 00:22:55,420
jarring and...
598
00:22:55,522 --> 00:22:58,923
and I, like, didn't know what was
going on and he's so sweet, you know.
599
00:22:59,025 --> 00:23:03,127
And, like, tight body
and I'm gonna want full
600
00:23:03,229 --> 00:23:07,265
dick deets when I'm
done feeling, but, um...
601
00:23:07,367 --> 00:23:09,100
Lincoln broke up with me.
602
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:12,728
(sighs) Whatever that means, you know?
603
00:23:12,763 --> 00:23:16,172
My God, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.
604
00:23:16,275 --> 00:23:19,178
- He met some beautiful queen...
- A real queen?
605
00:23:19,213 --> 00:23:21,511
No, a queen like, like us.
606
00:23:21,613 --> 00:23:24,514
You know, he wants to be
monogamous with her and he should.
607
00:23:24,616 --> 00:23:27,250
He deserves whatever he wants. (crying)
608
00:23:27,352 --> 00:23:30,353
And he doesn't even want to be friends.
609
00:23:30,455 --> 00:23:32,788
You know, he never really did.
610
00:23:32,890 --> 00:23:35,324
I just never heard it.
611
00:23:35,426 --> 00:23:38,060
Okay. It's gonna be okay.
612
00:23:38,162 --> 00:23:39,428
(crying)
613
00:23:39,730 --> 00:23:42,831
Okay, now is the time
you tell me dick deets.
614
00:23:45,763 --> 00:23:47,182
He's not responding to my texts.
615
00:23:47,232 --> 00:23:49,299
I guess I'm just gonna
have to apologize at work.
616
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,401
Okay, what else have I
been keeping a secret?
617
00:23:52,503 --> 00:23:56,706
I think that I was
starting to kinda like Trey.
618
00:23:56,808 --> 00:23:58,672
Like... like-like?
619
00:23:58,707 --> 00:24:01,711
Like, like-like.
620
00:24:02,814 --> 00:24:05,132
- That (bleep) sucks.
- Yeah.
621
00:24:06,217 --> 00:24:08,550
Um, I'm really attracted
622
00:24:08,652 --> 00:24:11,540
to pre-Weight Watchers Jennifer Hudson.
623
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:14,255
I once keyed this guy's car, uh,
624
00:24:14,358 --> 00:24:16,290
- because he called me a dirty Jew.
- I hate that.
625
00:24:16,393 --> 00:24:19,427
So, I keyed a big Star of David
626
00:24:19,529 --> 00:24:22,130
right onto his driver-side door.
627
00:24:22,165 --> 00:24:25,646
I got super blazed before
babysitting Oliver...
628
00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:26,600
(sighs)
629
00:24:26,702 --> 00:24:28,134
and...
630
00:24:28,237 --> 00:24:31,137
I took off my bra 'cause I was,
like, feeling loose and, like,
631
00:24:31,172 --> 00:24:35,509
oppressed and wanted to, like,
chill and I left my bra in his room.
632
00:24:35,611 --> 00:24:37,244
(laughing)
633
00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:40,342
That was probably a
whole thing that you never
634
00:24:40,377 --> 00:24:42,474
found out about again,
because you couldn't admit it.
635
00:24:42,509 --> 00:24:42,982
(sighing)
636
00:24:43,084 --> 00:24:45,284
- You can't admit...
- No, and then, like...
637
00:24:45,387 --> 00:24:47,987
- like, who knows?
- Right, it wasn't sexual.
638
00:24:48,089 --> 00:24:50,220
- Yeah, but, no offense... no offense...
- But I'm just like...
639
00:24:50,255 --> 00:24:51,657
That's a bra.
640
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:52,781
Oh.
641
00:24:52,816 --> 00:24:54,059
(together) That's a bra!
642
00:24:54,161 --> 00:24:55,328
(laughing)
643
00:24:55,378 --> 00:24:59,928
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