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1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:03,202
Well every day I
throw a little party
2
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:06,172
But a fit would be
more fitting, fitting
3
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:08,341
And every time I
come a little higher
4
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:12,545
Should I leap or go
on living, living?
5
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:19,953
Hear the voices
venomous and thrilling
6
00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,455
In my head they're
always calling, calling
7
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:25,191
But I wanna gotta go
the way my blood beats
8
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:29,062
So I'm not fodder
for their folly, folly
9
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,869
No one here is taking notice
10
00:00:36,971 --> 00:00:40,039
No outline will ever hold us
11
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:44,310
It's not a new wave,
it's just you and me
12
00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:47,412
- Cute.
- So?
13
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,316
Welcome to Wayne. This is it.
14
00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:51,985
(man) If I were just 30 years younger.
15
00:00:53,046 --> 00:00:54,748
Dad, then what?
16
00:00:54,783 --> 00:00:57,566
Then we'd be best friends
and hang out all the time.
17
00:00:57,601 --> 00:00:59,425
Get your head outta the gutter.
18
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,793
Come here, you.
19
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:01,828
Yeah...
20
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,029
(both) Ha, ha, ha!
21
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:06,799
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
22
00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:09,888
All right. I'll just hang out.
23
00:01:09,923 --> 00:01:11,404
(both) Ha, ha, ha, ha!
24
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,673
Ha, ha! Ha, ha!
25
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,008
- Ha!
- Whoa.
26
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,210
Four and three
and two and one-one
27
00:01:18,756 --> 00:01:21,600
Sync and corrections by
rickSG www.addic7ed.com
28
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,018
So, how do you ladies like my car?
29
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,419
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet ride.
30
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,176
- It's fine.
- Ilana, you don't like my car?
31
00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:30,320
- I can tell.
- It's....
32
00:01:30,355 --> 00:01:33,059
- You sort of had this little...
- I'm a little squished back here.
33
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,494
I think if I were in... In the front,
34
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,497
maybe I would be less nauseous
and more physically comfortable.
35
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,065
It's a time share.
36
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:42,001
Me, Larry G., Duckbutter,
Bobby G., we all went in on it.
37
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:45,304
I am rock hard that I'm gonna
see your childhood bedroom, Ab.
38
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:50,643
It is so important for a relationship
to see a boyfriend's roots.
39
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,267
- What?
- A friend's roots, I said.
40
00:01:52,302 --> 00:01:54,434
Yeah, you said boyfriend, but...
41
00:01:54,469 --> 00:01:58,217
Dad, I cannot believe that you're
turning my bedroom into an infrared sauna.
42
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:01,550
You've been talking about this since
the day you dropped me off at college,
43
00:02:01,585 --> 00:02:03,956
- so I'm supportive.
- So GOOP.
44
00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:06,242
You should get a V-steam
for the next time we come in.
45
00:02:06,277 --> 00:02:07,907
- V-steam? - I don't
know what that is.
46
00:02:07,942 --> 00:02:09,312
Um, vagina.
47
00:02:09,347 --> 00:02:11,631
(Abbi) Love talking
about vaginas with my dad.
48
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,032
(car scrapes)
49
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,368
(Jeff) Don't worry about that noise.
50
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:18,237
Ahh.
51
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,440
So many beautiful memories here.
52
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,175
Ilana, under that tree,
53
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:24,844
that's where Abbi found a bee's nest
54
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,992
and was stung over 300 times.
55
00:02:27,507 --> 00:02:28,752
- Made the paper.
- Yeah.
56
00:02:28,787 --> 00:02:30,456
- Congratulations.
- And that house?
57
00:02:30,491 --> 00:02:33,538
That's where she almost got taken
by the neighbors when they moved.
58
00:02:33,573 --> 00:02:34,253
What?
59
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:36,943
I found her in their
Winnebago in a large cooler.
60
00:02:36,978 --> 00:02:37,854
Really?
61
00:02:37,889 --> 00:02:41,194
And over there is where Patty and I
told her we were getting a divorce.
62
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,362
I never understood why
you did it by the trash.
63
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,731
Well, you liked playing in
the trash so much as a kid,
64
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:47,066
so we thought if we told you there,
65
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,567
every time you'd go to the trash,
66
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,690
you'd associate it with the
divorce and not play in it.
67
00:02:51,725 --> 00:02:52,939
It didn't work.
68
00:02:52,974 --> 00:02:54,909
- Come on, come in.
- It didn't work?
69
00:02:54,944 --> 00:02:57,543
I don't know. I just always
loved trash. It's like...
70
00:02:57,644 --> 00:02:59,412
It's like normal stuff,
but it has a past, you know?
71
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:03,111
- Hey, welcome home.
- Ooh, it smells good.
72
00:03:03,146 --> 00:03:05,918
Ooh, my God!
73
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,851
(laughing)
74
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,389
Oh, such an only child's room.
75
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,201
- Why?
- There's two TVs.
76
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,529
It was just so I can, like,
stay on top of the news stories.
77
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,999
Yeah, news about what was
happening with Ross and Rachel.
78
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,501
Oh! This is Abbi's little
height chart! I can't stand it!
79
00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:23,903
No, no, that's lead paint.
80
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:27,606
Yeah, my little girl did
grow up so fast, though.
81
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,308
All right, look, I got three boxes.
82
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,143
Keep, donate, and garbage.
83
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:33,296
I'm so excited this is happening.
84
00:03:33,331 --> 00:03:35,347
I'm... I'm gonna make
some food for you guys
85
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,981
so you have plenty of
energy to finish, all right?
86
00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:38,266
What kind of snacks you like?
87
00:03:38,347 --> 00:03:39,587
- I...
- No, no! No.
88
00:03:39,622 --> 00:03:41,287
Let me surprise you, huh?
89
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,886
Hope you like stevia.
90
00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:45,391
I don't know if we do.
91
00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:46,358
Oh.
92
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:49,295
It's the Holocaust
Museum of Abbi Abrams!
93
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,496
What's that mean?
94
00:03:50,597 --> 00:03:52,398
Oh, I mean... I meant museum.
95
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:55,835
I just... my family only went
to Holocaust Museums as a kid.
96
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,372
Ha. Funny.
97
00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,809
Hey, where's Will Smith's playground?
98
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,044
What?
99
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,680
In West Philadelphia
born and raised
100
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:11,217
On the playground is where
Will spent most of his days
101
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:13,974
Well, we're technically
in west of Philadelphia,
102
00:04:14,009 --> 00:04:15,354
- so the 'burbs.
- Got it.
103
00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,907
Plus, I feel like they shot
it in California, right?
104
00:04:17,942 --> 00:04:19,191
Tax credits.
105
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,193
But there is a rumor that Will Smith
106
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:23,863
bought his mom a house in my town, so...
107
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,955
I would kill to see that house.
108
00:04:25,990 --> 00:04:27,163
Murder.
109
00:04:27,198 --> 00:04:29,835
Oh, man, there is so much gear in here.
110
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,903
Gear?
111
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,671
Like, from my jam band days.
112
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,273
Phish and RatDog,
113
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:37,710
Dark Star, Disco Biscuits,
String Cheese Incident.
114
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:38,911
Dirt Star, man.
115
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,147
The white slave rebellion, man.
116
00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:43,315
I'll meet you at the contact lens!
117
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,885
I'll see you at the sister's freely.
118
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,187
- Think fast!
- Ahh! Ew!
119
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,189
What the (bleep) is this?
120
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,292
It is my dreadlocks, sir.
121
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,261
From your body and head?
122
00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:58,034
Yeah, I tried to donate
them to Locks of Love, but...
123
00:04:58,069 --> 00:04:59,231
Yikes.
124
00:04:59,495 --> 00:05:01,500
- They rejected them, it's fine.
- Yeah, no (bleep).
125
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,570
Jesus, they stink so much
more than the pictures, God.
126
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,739
Like pepperoni.
127
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:10,509
Oh, my God. Holy (bleep)!
128
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,178
Oh, my God!
129
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,879
What, what happened, what? Oh, you okay?
130
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:14,980
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's...
131
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,682
- Do you know who this is?
- Here we go.
132
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:18,317
This is a first edition
133
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,319
JonBen?t Ramsey
commemorative Beanie Baby.
134
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,454
This is more rare than
the Princess Diana.
135
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,377
I ran for this. My heart stopped.
136
00:05:24,412 --> 00:05:25,306
I'm sorry.
137
00:05:25,341 --> 00:05:26,225
All right, look.
138
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,770
Get your palates primes
for my bialy bites.
139
00:05:28,805 --> 00:05:30,663
Aw, I wanted to keep that a surprise.
140
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,097
All right.
141
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,266
This is unreal.
142
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:35,501
You know, Ilana, you can have it.
143
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:38,170
I always felt weird about
"getting rid" of her.
144
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,306
Do you even realize what you're saying?
145
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:42,308
I know you think it's stupid,
146
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,244
but you have to be
aware of the fluctuations
147
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,845
in the Beanie Baby market.
148
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,314
I say it all the time.
149
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:51,417
This could be our future. Look at her.
150
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,219
Look at me, I'm fully engorged.
151
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,620
Ilana, come on.
152
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,690
I'm not sexually aroused,
I'm fiscally aroused.
153
00:05:57,905 --> 00:05:59,792
- Cool your jets.
- Okay.
154
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:03,195
The Beanie boards are gonna
light up tonight, baby!
155
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,264
JonBen?t, look at her.
156
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,319
(whispers) You're a star.
157
00:06:07,354 --> 00:06:09,001
(bleep)!
158
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,704
(bleep) me in (bleep) face!
159
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,138
This is so bad.
160
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,273
What?
161
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,398
Alice Ackerman was one of my best
friends in middle school, all right?
162
00:06:17,433 --> 00:06:19,512
- I'm following.
- We drifted apart in high school,
163
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,210
mostly because I started smoking weed,
164
00:06:21,245 --> 00:06:23,182
but also because she got in
the varsity field hockey team.
165
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,783
That's normal, it happens,
and that's healthy.
166
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:28,320
Senior year, she got
hit by a school bus.
167
00:06:28,966 --> 00:06:30,450
On a Saturday.
168
00:06:30,485 --> 00:06:31,657
Shabbat.
169
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,659
So I organized this
entire dance-a-thon
170
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,594
to raise money for her medical bills
171
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:39,031
and I raised over $900.
172
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,032
That is amazing.
173
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,433
Yeah, really amazing.
174
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:44,169
Amazing that I (bleep)
never gave her the money.
175
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:45,571
Oh, bitch.
176
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:48,273
You know, it totally makes
perfect sense, typical Abbi.
177
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,925
Senior year is when
I got into mushrooms.
178
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:54,616
I hear that mushrooms can affect
your memory and your sex drive, right?
179
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,181
Where am I?
180
00:06:56,435 --> 00:06:57,702
I'm just kidding.
181
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:04,376
She's probably horribly disfigured.
182
00:07:04,411 --> 00:07:07,759
Maybe it's about time
there's an elephant woman.
183
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,728
I did nothing to help this girl.
184
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:11,163
Nothing!
185
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,131
Was I a terrible person?
186
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,534
You know what?
187
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:17,336
Maybe, I don't know.
188
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:21,173
But if we give it back tonight,
189
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,841
you can atone for this.
190
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:23,909
Yes.
191
00:07:23,968 --> 00:07:27,179
You're right, yes. This is what we're
gonna do. We're gonna do this right now.
192
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,916
Give me one second, I just
fully backlit JonBeb?.
193
00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:33,385
She is going on the
Beanie boards tonight.
194
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,053
Yass, yass, yass.
195
00:07:35,607 --> 00:07:38,724
Yass. EBay on fire!
196
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:39,791
Yes! Natural.
197
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,760
Relax. Nothing.
198
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:42,761
Gorge, gorge.
199
00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:44,263
Sassy girl.
200
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,560
All right, I'm not gonna say that.
201
00:07:45,595 --> 00:07:46,748
Cool.
202
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,891
(Abbi) Dude, this is so weird.
203
00:07:48,929 --> 00:07:50,296
We're just gonna, like, show up
204
00:07:50,397 --> 00:07:53,020
at her family's bowling
alley just hoping she's there?
205
00:07:53,055 --> 00:07:54,867
You know, you don't
need to wear a helmet.
206
00:07:54,968 --> 00:07:56,269
I'm a very good driver.
207
00:07:56,370 --> 00:08:00,223
It is insane that you
drive a car with no doors.
208
00:08:00,258 --> 00:08:04,510
You are such a goy for driving
this car, it is unbelievable.
209
00:08:04,611 --> 00:08:06,846
I want a DNA test.
210
00:08:07,476 --> 00:08:09,748
Okay, do you think Will
Smith's mom lives around here?
211
00:08:09,850 --> 00:08:11,884
By the bowling alley? No.
212
00:08:11,985 --> 00:08:14,887
Will would buy, like,
a much better spot.
213
00:08:14,988 --> 00:08:17,323
214
00:08:17,424 --> 00:08:18,891
(pins clattering)
215
00:08:18,992 --> 00:08:21,327
(man) No shoes, no entrance.
216
00:08:21,428 --> 00:08:24,597
Yes, you, the Jews.
217
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,499
I'm... we're not even bowling...
218
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:27,566
Hep!
219
00:08:27,667 --> 00:08:29,435
- Dude.
- Come on.
220
00:08:29,536 --> 00:08:30,536
Tiptoe, please.
221
00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:33,806
Oh, God. Okay.
222
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:35,438
Thank you.
223
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,776
Um, yes, we just want to
ask a quick question, so...
224
00:08:37,878 --> 00:08:41,244
You need shoes to get in.
New floors. 25 bucks each.
225
00:08:41,481 --> 00:08:42,882
Cash only.
226
00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:45,851
- Okay.
- Dude, I don't "carry cash."
227
00:08:45,952 --> 00:08:47,353
Oh, okay.
228
00:08:47,454 --> 00:08:49,188
This is terrible.
229
00:08:49,289 --> 00:08:52,258
But we could use some of the
money from the Alice fund.
230
00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:53,526
It's, like, for her.
231
00:08:53,627 --> 00:08:56,161
We're using her money
to get her the money.
232
00:08:56,263 --> 00:08:57,329
- Exactly.
- Exactly.
233
00:08:57,430 --> 00:08:59,026
- Okay, that makes total sense.
- Total sense.
234
00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:00,994
- So we have to.
- Have to, must.
235
00:09:01,368 --> 00:09:03,369
Okay.
236
00:09:03,470 --> 00:09:05,104
Sir.
237
00:09:05,205 --> 00:09:06,472
What size?
238
00:09:06,573 --> 00:09:08,106
I'm a four. Four-and-a-half.
239
00:09:08,141 --> 00:09:11,410
Um, 11. (clears throat)
240
00:09:12,654 --> 00:09:14,880
Oh, my God!
241
00:09:15,515 --> 00:09:19,385
I didn't realize that it's the 20th
anniversary of JonBen?t's death.
242
00:09:19,486 --> 00:09:21,620
- Whoa.
- Dude, it is blowing up on eBay.
243
00:09:21,721 --> 00:09:23,155
It's gonna double our value.
244
00:09:23,256 --> 00:09:25,190
Jeez.
245
00:09:25,292 --> 00:09:26,732
That's awesome, dude.
246
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,227
Abbi?
247
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,330
Ooh. Townie boy, get 'dat.
248
00:09:31,431 --> 00:09:32,431
(cell phone vibrating)
249
00:09:32,643 --> 00:09:33,732
- Hi.
- Abbi Abrams?
250
00:09:33,833 --> 00:09:36,046
Yeah, well, give me your bottom line
and I'll see what kind of mood I'm in.
251
00:09:36,081 --> 00:09:38,370
It's me, it's Karl Shiff.
252
00:09:38,471 --> 00:09:39,572
Uh...
253
00:09:40,707 --> 00:09:42,641
Shyffilis. Sh... Shyffilis.
254
00:09:42,742 --> 00:09:45,077
- Holy (bleep), Shyffilis!
- Yeah!
255
00:09:45,178 --> 00:09:47,379
Jeez, you look so good.
256
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,348
- No, you look great.
- Thanks.
257
00:09:49,449 --> 00:09:50,783
You're still using Shyffilis, huh?
258
00:09:50,884 --> 00:09:53,172
Well, I mean, it's not really
a name you can get away from.
259
00:09:53,207 --> 00:09:54,787
- Yeah.
- It even followed me to the office.
260
00:09:54,888 --> 00:09:55,540
Whoa.
261
00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:57,656
Who knew that one day
at Colonial Williamsburg
262
00:09:57,757 --> 00:09:59,019
could change your life, you know?
263
00:09:59,054 --> 00:10:02,186
I mean, name-wise. Unless you're
like a history teacher or whatever.
264
00:10:02,349 --> 00:10:03,729
Oh, my God, wait.
265
00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:06,432
Did I have something
to do with that... name?
266
00:10:06,533 --> 00:10:07,733
Oh, yeah.
267
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,602
Yeah, that was totally your fault, 100%.
268
00:10:09,703 --> 00:10:12,162
- Oh... oh, God.
- Yeah, no, it's fine, it's fine.
269
00:10:12,287 --> 00:10:14,338
- No, we were in the same walking group.
- Yeah.
270
00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:17,142
I remember, we learned about the
syphilis outbreak in the colony
271
00:10:17,243 --> 00:10:19,034
and it just sounded
so much like your name.
272
00:10:19,069 --> 00:10:21,225
- Exactly like my name.
- Wait, I am so sorry.
273
00:10:21,302 --> 00:10:23,182
I need to atone for this.
274
00:10:23,283 --> 00:10:26,552
I would never, ever have said
that if I knew it would stick.
275
00:10:26,653 --> 00:10:28,053
Really, it's fine.
276
00:10:28,154 --> 00:10:30,856
And I didn't even care, like,
at all, because it was you.
277
00:10:30,957 --> 00:10:31,991
What... what?
278
00:10:31,992 --> 00:10:34,239
I had, like, a huge crush on you
in high school. You knew that.
279
00:10:34,274 --> 00:10:36,028
No, I did not.
280
00:10:36,129 --> 00:10:37,563
What? Oh, whoops.
281
00:10:37,664 --> 00:10:38,920
No, I didn't.
282
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:40,165
- Um, yeah.
- I mean, I didn't.
283
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:43,369
But, I mean, if you really want
to make up for it, you could...
284
00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:44,637
You could buy me a drink.
285
00:10:44,738 --> 00:10:46,725
- I love drinks.
- You got any cash?
286
00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,407
Cash only, this place, huh?
287
00:10:48,508 --> 00:10:49,742
Oh, um...
288
00:10:49,843 --> 00:10:53,012
I... yeah, I do have some cash.
289
00:10:53,406 --> 00:10:54,913
Can I?
290
00:10:55,313 --> 00:10:56,657
Well,
291
00:10:56,658 --> 00:11:00,875
the appreciated value of JonBen?t now
compared to five years ago is astounding.
292
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,657
You should be honored. I'm wasting
my time with a yellow star user?
293
00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:06,859
I'm a turquoise power seller, bitch.
294
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,293
(scoffs)
295
00:11:08,395 --> 00:11:10,062
I'm not gonna just stand here...
296
00:11:10,163 --> 00:11:11,363
(sighs)
297
00:11:11,464 --> 00:11:12,816
_
298
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:17,272
_
299
00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:20,299
_
300
00:11:20,423 --> 00:11:21,847
_
301
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,677
Yeah, I know what happened
five years ago in Miami.
302
00:11:24,778 --> 00:11:25,778
You think I'm a (bleep) idiot?
303
00:11:25,879 --> 00:11:28,847
You think I'm MrBubbles9560?
304
00:11:34,854 --> 00:11:38,223
Nope, you're dealing with me, bitch.
305
00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:44,063
You know, I've always fantasized about,
like, making out in a locker room,
306
00:11:44,164 --> 00:11:46,198
but no one ever tells you
about the feet smell, right?
307
00:11:46,299 --> 00:11:48,002
- That's true.
- It's like, gross.
308
00:11:48,037 --> 00:11:49,413
You're adorable.
309
00:11:55,442 --> 00:11:56,975
I'll return these.
310
00:11:57,077 --> 00:12:00,005
Um, are any of the Ackermans
around, by any chance?
311
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,246
Oh, no.
312
00:12:01,347 --> 00:12:02,872
They sold the place years ago.
313
00:12:02,907 --> 00:12:05,084
Their daughter was in
a horrific accident.
314
00:12:05,185 --> 00:12:06,885
They needed all the cash they could get.
315
00:12:06,986 --> 00:12:09,022
- Sad story.
- Yeah, Alice.
316
00:12:09,057 --> 00:12:11,098
Do you know where she lives?
I went to high school with her.
317
00:12:11,133 --> 00:12:13,290
Oh, yeah. She lives in that
house at the end of Henderson.
318
00:12:13,325 --> 00:12:15,828
- Can't miss it.
- The house at the end of Henderson.
319
00:12:15,863 --> 00:12:17,772
- Yeah.
- By the convention center?
320
00:12:17,807 --> 00:12:19,398
- Mm-hmm. -
That Henderson?
321
00:12:19,499 --> 00:12:20,716
There's only one.
322
00:12:20,751 --> 00:12:21,467
(sighs)
323
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:23,001
You were such a dick earlier
324
00:12:23,103 --> 00:12:25,904
and now you are maybe
one of my favorite people.
325
00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:27,820
We're closing in five minutes.
326
00:12:27,821 --> 00:12:30,982
_
327
00:12:31,095 --> 00:12:34,777
_
328
00:12:34,893 --> 00:12:36,210
_
329
00:12:36,245 --> 00:12:37,316
Unreal.
330
00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:38,517
Uh, couple things.
331
00:12:38,618 --> 00:12:41,053
One, this bad boy gave me the address.
332
00:12:41,154 --> 00:12:42,221
Oh, my God, thank you.
333
00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:44,590
Yeah, two, you speak Chinese?
334
00:12:44,691 --> 00:12:46,000
What's going on?
335
00:12:46,035 --> 00:12:48,782
Hardly, Just some Yiddish
Mandarin I picked up from my mom.
336
00:12:48,817 --> 00:12:49,913
See ya.
337
00:12:49,948 --> 00:12:51,634
Bye.
338
00:12:52,432 --> 00:12:54,242
_
339
00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:58,899
(engine struggling)
340
00:13:00,292 --> 00:13:02,620
- Dude.
- I think the battery's dead?
341
00:13:02,655 --> 00:13:05,147
Do you want to call, like,
a (bleep) cab or something?
342
00:13:05,182 --> 00:13:07,479
No, bro, follow me.
343
00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:09,648
Yes, sir.
344
00:13:10,550 --> 00:13:12,250
Hey, what up, my peers?
345
00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:14,482
- Yo, give me a hack.
- All right.
346
00:13:17,590 --> 00:13:20,826
So, listen, guys, my Jeep stalled.
347
00:13:20,927 --> 00:13:23,576
I was wondering if you guys can
give us a ride to our friend's house.
348
00:13:24,052 --> 00:13:25,397
Yeah, we could.
349
00:13:25,498 --> 00:13:27,165
If you could buy us some liquor.
350
00:13:27,267 --> 00:13:29,016
Oof. Tit for tat.
351
00:13:29,335 --> 00:13:30,534
Savvy.
352
00:13:33,353 --> 00:13:36,932
All right, that'll be 200 bucks, boys!
353
00:13:36,943 --> 00:13:38,810
354
00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:51,757
(burps)
355
00:13:58,308 --> 00:14:00,098
(tires squealing)
356
00:14:05,944 --> 00:14:07,814
- Okay, I guess we'll just return this.
- Yeah.
357
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:08,801
Oh!
358
00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:11,343
And, guess we will just drink these.
359
00:14:11,444 --> 00:14:13,378
I mean, we have to now?
360
00:14:13,479 --> 00:14:14,379
Oh, we have to.
361
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:16,348
362
00:14:19,085 --> 00:14:22,387
So apparently, Will Smith's dad
used to make him build, like,
363
00:14:22,488 --> 00:14:26,124
a brick wall every single
summer from scratch just because.
364
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:27,225
That's hot.
365
00:14:27,327 --> 00:14:30,054
I heard Will makes Willow
and Jaden do it, too.
366
00:14:30,897 --> 00:14:33,265
To keep them humble, you know?
367
00:14:33,366 --> 00:14:35,734
Will is such a considerate dad.
368
00:14:35,835 --> 00:14:40,372
Oh, my God. Oh, my (bleep) Jesus.
369
00:14:40,473 --> 00:14:41,573
What?
370
00:14:41,674 --> 00:14:44,343
The (bleep) JonBen?ts
want the Beanie baby.
371
00:14:44,444 --> 00:14:45,909
That is so insane.
372
00:14:45,944 --> 00:14:47,262
- What?
- What?
373
00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:49,550
- What?!
- It's like of course they want her now.
374
00:14:49,585 --> 00:14:50,449
Right?
375
00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:52,898
Oh, my God, look at this dog.
376
00:14:53,219 --> 00:14:54,319
Come on, baby.
377
00:14:54,877 --> 00:14:56,062
Hi!
378
00:14:56,097 --> 00:14:57,026
Hey!
379
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:59,660
Hey! Our equity!
380
00:14:59,695 --> 00:15:01,207
Ilana, come on!
381
00:15:01,242 --> 00:15:03,795
JonBen?t Beanie Baby!
382
00:15:08,155 --> 00:15:09,803
Hey! Hey!
383
00:15:10,965 --> 00:15:13,533
(Ilana) Come on! Come
on, we'll split the money!
384
00:15:13,634 --> 00:15:14,934
- Come on!
- Here he is!
385
00:15:15,561 --> 00:15:16,974
Oh, my... Where...
386
00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:17,882
Okay, all right.
387
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,873
We need, like, a treat, or, like, a
piece of meat or something, I don't know.
388
00:15:21,074 --> 00:15:22,795
Oh, my God, I do.
389
00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:23,837
Hey! Come here!
390
00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:25,411
Come here!
391
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:28,381
Come on! Go!
392
00:15:28,482 --> 00:15:29,549
Yes!
393
00:15:29,650 --> 00:15:30,883
Oh, my God.
394
00:15:30,984 --> 00:15:33,886
- That was amazing.
- Oh, my God.
395
00:15:33,987 --> 00:15:35,154
JonBen?t.
396
00:15:35,255 --> 00:15:37,223
Oh, God, later, bitch.
397
00:15:37,324 --> 00:15:40,426
I knew it would work 'cause
your dread stunk like meat.
398
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:43,062
Okay, it doesn't... It
didn't smell like meat.
399
00:15:43,163 --> 00:15:44,297
- Jeez.
- Dang.
400
00:15:44,398 --> 00:15:46,165
I guess Alice is doing
all right after all.
401
00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:48,500
Well, it's probably
for the team of nurses.
402
00:15:48,683 --> 00:15:50,503
We should really practice our faces
403
00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:54,173
for when we first see her
gnarled, mangled disfigurement.
404
00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:55,741
Okay.
405
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:58,411
- Hi!
- That's not bad.
406
00:15:58,512 --> 00:16:01,380
It's okay, you go.
407
00:16:01,481 --> 00:16:04,005
- Ugh, I'll just do no emotion.
- Oh, God.
408
00:16:06,887 --> 00:16:08,654
(doorbell chimes)
409
00:16:13,493 --> 00:16:14,493
Hi.
410
00:16:16,897 --> 00:16:19,699
A... Alice?
411
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,367
Yeah, can I help you?
412
00:16:21,468 --> 00:16:23,703
It's... it's Abbi.
413
00:16:23,804 --> 00:16:25,438
Abbi Abrams, from high school.
414
00:16:25,807 --> 00:16:27,940
Oh, my God, Abbi, wow.
415
00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:30,624
I didn't recognize you
without the dreads. You look...
416
00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,545
You look great without dreads.
417
00:16:32,646 --> 00:16:33,613
Thanks.
418
00:16:33,714 --> 00:16:35,237
So this is my friend, Ilana.
419
00:16:35,272 --> 00:16:36,751
Hi, Ilana.
420
00:16:36,857 --> 00:16:38,182
- Beautiful.
- Thanks.
421
00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:40,620
Alice, you look in... insane.
422
00:16:40,721 --> 00:16:41,721
Yeah.
423
00:16:41,822 --> 00:16:43,189
You're very tall.
424
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:44,991
You remember my accident, right?
425
00:16:45,092 --> 00:16:46,959
I mean, I kinda remember it a little.
426
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:50,096
Yeah, well, they had to
put pins in my thighs,
427
00:16:50,197 --> 00:16:52,865
and so it elongated me
and added three inches
428
00:16:52,966 --> 00:16:53,899
to my height.
429
00:16:54,001 --> 00:16:55,334
And then after that I...
430
00:16:55,435 --> 00:16:57,436
I just couldn't keep the weight on.
431
00:16:57,537 --> 00:16:58,788
- Totally.
- I feel that.
432
00:16:58,823 --> 00:17:00,909
- Understand.
- So I started modeling.
433
00:17:00,944 --> 00:17:03,509
And ten campaigns later...
434
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:06,846
Wow, not too shabby.
435
00:17:06,947 --> 00:17:09,682
What about you? What...
why are you here?
436
00:17:09,783 --> 00:17:11,117
Good call.
437
00:17:11,218 --> 00:17:12,918
Speaking of the accident,
438
00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,186
I do remember
439
00:17:14,288 --> 00:17:17,857
and I actually raised
some money for your surgery
440
00:17:18,298 --> 00:17:21,362
by throwing a dance-a-thon.
We danced for all night.
441
00:17:21,523 --> 00:17:24,463
I mean, I was in a coma at
the time, but I heard about it,
442
00:17:24,564 --> 00:17:26,766
and I never got the chance to thank you,
443
00:17:26,867 --> 00:17:28,567
so that was really sweet of you, Abbi.
444
00:17:28,669 --> 00:17:30,020
You're a good person.
445
00:17:30,055 --> 00:17:31,941
- Huh? Well...
- It's true.
446
00:17:31,976 --> 00:17:33,079
- Yeah.
- It's true.
447
00:17:33,114 --> 00:17:33,988
- Yeah.
- It's true.
448
00:17:34,023 --> 00:17:35,027
- Thank you.
- It is.
449
00:17:35,062 --> 00:17:37,421
You know, thank you,
Alice. I appreciate that.
450
00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:38,844
Funny story.
451
00:17:38,945 --> 00:17:40,379
You're gonna be like...
452
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,213
(chuckling)
453
00:17:41,315 --> 00:17:43,949
- L-O-L. -
Abbi, you crazy.
454
00:17:44,051 --> 00:17:46,686
You're gonna be like, what?
455
00:17:46,787 --> 00:17:48,754
So I was home,
456
00:17:48,855 --> 00:17:50,056
and I found this envelope
457
00:17:50,157 --> 00:17:53,459
and it's actually all the
money from the dance-a-thon.
458
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,302
I never gave it to you. (chuckling)
459
00:17:55,358 --> 00:17:57,596
- And it's crazy.
- Well, I'll take it now.
460
00:17:57,698 --> 00:17:58,998
- You take now.
- Thanks.
461
00:17:59,099 --> 00:18:00,966
- And you know what, do something...
- Some extra cash.
462
00:18:01,068 --> 00:18:04,905
Buy something nice for this
place, 'cause it needs a...
463
00:18:05,246 --> 00:18:06,250
(whispers) Okay.
464
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:07,083
(clears throat)
465
00:18:07,118 --> 00:18:10,518
It says here that you raised
$946, and there's only $300 here.
466
00:18:10,553 --> 00:18:11,744
Does it say that?
467
00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:13,879
Well, it was just because we
needed the cash to find you.
468
00:18:13,980 --> 00:18:16,148
We just needed the
money for bowling shoes
469
00:18:16,249 --> 00:18:18,117
and bottles of liquor for teens.
470
00:18:18,218 --> 00:18:19,251
You're not on Facebook.
471
00:18:19,353 --> 00:18:20,586
This is really (bleep) up, Abbi,
472
00:18:20,687 --> 00:18:22,888
you coming here and
bringing up my accident
473
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:24,757
and giving me money eight years later
474
00:18:24,858 --> 00:18:26,525
- that's not even all there.
- Okay.
475
00:18:26,626 --> 00:18:28,794
Um, I just... I wanted to...
476
00:18:28,895 --> 00:18:31,298
You know what? I take it back,
actually, you're not a good person.
477
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:33,514
You're kind of an asshole, Abbi!
478
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,054
- Well, I thought...
- No.
479
00:18:36,089 --> 00:18:38,137
Abbi is a phenomenal person.
480
00:18:38,238 --> 00:18:40,306
Okay, a high-quality human being.
481
00:18:40,407 --> 00:18:44,310
Because she... wanted to come here
482
00:18:44,411 --> 00:18:46,812
and give this extremely valuable
483
00:18:46,913 --> 00:18:49,582
first edition commemorative
484
00:18:49,683 --> 00:18:51,851
JonBen?t Ramsay Beanie Baby.
485
00:18:51,952 --> 00:18:53,152
(Alice) What?
486
00:18:53,253 --> 00:18:54,587
That's a Beanie Baby of a dead girl.
487
00:18:54,688 --> 00:18:56,055
That's disgusting.
488
00:18:56,156 --> 00:18:58,090
Okay, Alice, just hear me out, okay?
489
00:18:58,191 --> 00:19:01,427
I came here to look you
in the eye and to atone.
490
00:19:01,528 --> 00:19:02,661
I am a good person.
491
00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:04,830
- You know me, when we sat next to...
- Whoa! Wait, wait, wait.
492
00:19:04,931 --> 00:19:06,832
Wait, wait, wait,
just, wait, wait, baby.
493
00:19:06,933 --> 00:19:08,200
Baby, just wait one second,
494
00:19:08,301 --> 00:19:09,435
I'm gonna come down
there, I'm gonna explain.
495
00:19:09,536 --> 00:19:10,885
Explain what?
496
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:14,288
Nothing. There is
nothing to explain. What?
497
00:19:14,323 --> 00:19:15,784
- What's going on here?
- She just...
498
00:19:15,819 --> 00:19:17,330
She made out with me a little
bit at the bowling alley.
499
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:18,462
- No, no.
- You did?
500
00:19:18,497 --> 00:19:19,486
It's not her fault.
501
00:19:19,521 --> 00:19:20,746
I didn't make out with
you, you made out with me!
502
00:19:20,847 --> 00:19:23,215
We were talking about... She
had a crush on me and stuff.
503
00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:26,161
Shyffilis, I swear to (bleep)
God, you know you've done...
504
00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:27,787
This is your (bleep) luck?
505
00:19:27,888 --> 00:19:29,587
- Get your (bleep) ass upstairs.
- Okay, okay.
506
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,123
- It's the second strike today.
- I know.
507
00:19:31,224 --> 00:19:32,958
- I'm sorry.
- Today?
508
00:19:33,059 --> 00:19:34,799
- Get your ass upstairs.
- Okay, I'm gone.
509
00:19:34,991 --> 00:19:36,662
- (Alice) Get out.
- It was just...
510
00:19:36,663 --> 00:19:37,930
- Okay, so we should really talk.
- Good night.
511
00:19:38,031 --> 00:19:39,444
We should talk about the...
512
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:41,367
Shyffilis, I'm gonna
kick your (bleep) ass.
513
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:44,036
(Abbi) Ugh, I just feel terrible.
514
00:19:44,137 --> 00:19:45,560
You really shouldn't.
515
00:19:45,872 --> 00:19:49,341
That Beanie Baby was worth over $13,000
depending on the strength of the yen.
516
00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:51,577
Wait, what?
517
00:19:51,678 --> 00:19:53,537
- Yeah.
- What?
518
00:19:53,572 --> 00:19:54,613
Yeah.
519
00:19:54,714 --> 00:19:56,352
- Dude...
- Come on.
520
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:58,002
- It's over.
- (bleep).
521
00:20:08,901 --> 00:20:10,383
(laughing)
522
00:20:19,245 --> 00:20:21,179
(humming)
523
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,015
Aah, I am so happy
you two guys came down.
524
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:27,283
- Thank you.
- Abbi, I love when you're home.
525
00:20:27,953 --> 00:20:31,289
Whoa, how's work, training Shania Twain?
526
00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:34,058
- Wow.
- How is that?
527
00:20:34,757 --> 00:20:36,661
It's so good.
528
00:20:36,762 --> 00:20:37,829
Hey, by the way.
529
00:20:37,930 --> 00:20:40,905
Last night, after you left,
I looked up Alice Ackerman.
530
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:43,076
You know what I found out on Google?
531
00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:46,356
She bought her house
from Will Smith's mom!
532
00:20:46,391 --> 00:20:47,475
Ahh!
533
00:20:48,727 --> 00:20:52,195
I'm so sorry.
534
00:21:00,686 --> 00:21:03,755
(chuckling)
535
00:21:03,856 --> 00:21:06,491
536
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:11,091
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