All language subtitles for Breaking In s02e10 Heathers.eng

You suck.
No, you suck.

No, you suck.
No, you do.

Uh, no, you do.
I don't.

Yes, you do.
No, I don't.

Yes, you do.
No, I don't.

Yes, you do.
No, I don't.

Trouble with
the fake wifey?

Oh. Of all the women
who needed a Green Card,

I end up with a stuffy,
anal-retentive Brit...

Who freaks out
every time

I leave
the toilet seat up!

I don't care
that it's up!

Just try to hit the bowl,
you Neanderthal!

See what
I'm dealing with?

The only thing keeping me sane
is Molly Kong.

What's Molly Kong?
A little game I invented.

Every time Molly flips out
over something stupid, I score points.

Could you please
close the cabinets?

It's like I... I can track

your progress
around the kitchen.

Oh, look. You got
a little bowl from here...

And then you got
your cereal,

which is probably
now stale.

Then you went
to the drawer

and got yourself a little spoon,
didn't you?

And then you went
in the fridge

to get some milk
and... Oh, my God!

Will you stop putting back
the empty containers?

Pick that up!

50 points.

You live like a pig, dude.

I'm siding with Molly
on this one.

Oh, come on,
you're just saying that

'cause you have
a crazy crush on her.

Yeah, that might be a factor
in my decision, yes.

Dude, what are you wearing?
It's 80 degrees outside.

Oz is about to close
a huge deal with a client.

He told me to dress
to impress.

I'm sure this is my bad.

I probably could've been
more specific.

Hey, what's
more impressive

than a domesticated Tauntaun
from the ice planet Hoth?

I don't know.
A suit and tie?

Here comes the limo.
Just let me do the talking.

There he is.

Tony Hawk, the Bird Man,
welcome to Contra.

How was the ride over?

Bumpy.
That's a sweet Tauntaun.

Told ya.

Come on, Tony.
Let's kick it.

Okay, Tony, we are gonna
hook you up

with top-notch security
for your whole operation.

We're talking retail,
video games, skate parks,

your entire
billion-dollar empire.

Now where should we start?
In my house.

It's been a nightmare ever since
I drained the pool.

Stop skating in my pool,
you punks!

Up yours, old man!

Well, you're in
great hands.

I'll make sure we cross every "t"
and gleam every cube.

Okay, you know
"gleaming the cube"

doesn't mean anything,
right?

Well, neither does
half the crap I say.

Oz! Oz! we've got
an emergency.

I just got a call
from Corporate!

Heather O'Brien is gonna
be here any minute.

She's the senior V.P.
of multi-platform digital media.

What does that even mean?
I don't know,

but I do know that if this place
doesn't look like a million bucks,

she is gonna have my head
on a platter.

We need pops of color,
brighter lights, more attractive people!

What?
Uh...

Oh, mail cart guy?
Oh, I.T. persons?

Guess what? Good news...

You get the rest of the week off,
you handsome devils!

Get out.
Whoa! Leggo my uggos.

Everybody get back
to work.

We're not getting rid
of anybody.

Oswald, Heather O'Brien is the
most black-hearted, soul-sucking,

vicious,
life-ruining succubus

who ever dragged
her talons

across this beautiful,
big, green marble.

Hi. I'm looking for Oz.

You and three
deposed dictators.

I am he.
Welcome to Master Control.

You must be Heather.
Wow.

I'd heard you were
a man of mystery,

but, uh, they didn't tell me
how handsome you were.

Careful, Oz.

Remember what Vee said.
Yeah.

Dinobots. Cool.

A lot of people think
that's where Transformers

jumped the shark,
but I disagree.

It was totally Unicron.

Totally.

- Wow.
- She is awesome.

Oh, there's my assistant.

She's gonna be
passing out a gift

as a token of my appreciation
for you putting up with us.

How nice.

A 2009 Donn Shaw?

That's my favorite
Riesling.

Oh.

Check it out.

Psst!

Cawk-Oz! Cawk-Oz! Cawk-Oz!

Oh. Was I right or what?

I mean,
is she heinous?

Oh, yeah, she's, uh...

She's a real monster.

Okay.

Wish me luck.
I'm going in.

Hey, girl. What up?

Wow.
Did you lose weight?

'Cause you look
phenoma-balls.

Veronica.

I thought I smelled
cheap weed and desperation.

I'm kidding!

Oh.

This is
my assistant Heather.

What? Same name?

Well, birds of
a Heather, I guess.

Oh, why did I say that?

Because you are the worst.

Yeah.

I'm kidding.

Oh.

I'm gonna pass out.

I can't breathe.

Contra Edition.

Yeah!
I am here

to rebrand your company
and make it a household name.

Well, here's
the skinny, Heather...

A good security company likes
to keep an air of mystery.

Ah, and I respect
that point, Oz,

but judging by your web page,
a little too mysterious.

Yeah, I Googled "Contra,"
and all that comes up

is some Nintendo game
that's, like, older than me.

With all due respect,
Oswald,

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to go with
the Heathers on this one.

Yeah. Tap into the future.
Get on that Internet.

Yes, where everybody
blogs about food

and all relationships
are ruined by pornography.

Listen, I'm just here to shoot
some video around the office

and make
an online company brochure.

One teeny snag.

Oswald here really,
really doesn't like to be on camera.

Well... If we can't use a pretty face

to represent the company,
then I guess I could pick,

as an absolute, gun-to-my-head
last resort...

Veronica.

Oh, wait.
She's kidding.

Ka-blam! With the zingers
all day long, this one. Right?

No. I'm picking you.

Yeah. At least I get
to be on camera.

Whoa.

That Heather girl's
bananas hot, right?

I know.

Look, coming from a guy

that's pursuing a lady
parsecs out of his league,

I can safely say,
"Keep dreamin'."

Please.
Cameron slays ass, right?

Tell him how you slay
all kinds of ass.

Well, I wouldn't put it
like that,

but this is how
a hacker gets it done.

You slay dude's asses.

- That's right. Do it.

All right.
Okay. I'm bored.

Boom.

"Ambition." all right.

Watch and learn.

So... "Ambition," huh?

Excuse me?
Your tat.

It's the Chinese symbol
for ambition, right?

Oh. You speak Chinese?

Uh... No, I don't.

So you saw my tattoo,
you looked it up,

then came over to slip it
into casual conversation,

as if that's not the most creepy thing
in the world?

Did it work?

No.

No?
No.

Our marriage certificate
came in.

Try not to treat it like you do
everything else you own.

Uh...
You two are married?

Well, technically, yes,
but we, uh...

Seriously?
That's twice this week

you've stopped me from closing.
What are you doing?

Oh.

Uh...

I told you I had a date!

I didn't think
you were serious.

Hi. I'm Molly.

You're better than this.

I did you a huge favor by getting you
that Green Card.

The least you could do is not ste
on my game when I'm slaying ass.

Oh, is that what
I witnessed?

Because to me,
it just looked like

you were talking out
of your ass.

Oh, ding-ding-ding-ding!

Stop playing Molly Kong.

If I'm so annoying,
perhaps I will just move out.

Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

Oz, we got a big problem.
Oh!

Ever since Heather's
turned on the camera,

Veronica's been
an out-of-control maniac.

I've got mail!

Hey, hey, hey,
that's federal property!

Look, we all love Heather.

Just when it comes
to Veronica,

she seems to go
a little Mean Girls on her.

All we can do is let them
figure it out, and nobody gets hurt.

Yeah, no, it's too late
for that.

You wanna know what makes
Contra Security

the best
in the business?

Well, it's guys like...

Cash.
Cash...

Cash.
With their gadgets

and, uh, whatnot.
No.

I told you not to touch
my spy cam.

Oh. Whoo!

No. Look at me!
I'm flying!

Oh!

But I...

All right, look, I'll talk to her before
she hurts somebody that matters.

Where'd she go?
Oh, I'm right here,

just doing my thang,
solvin' problems like I do.

Hey... You.

Cash.
Cash.

Look, I fixed your...

That thing.

Oh, crap.
Somebody that matters.

Celebrity cameo.

Oh, my God. This is so great
for our video.

You guys, come on!
Hey, everybody!

Look!
It is Mr. Shaun White...

She doesn't know
his name...

World-famous rollerblader.

Actually, that's not
quite what I do.

- Come on.
- Let's get our blades on.

Do one
of your famous tricks!

Let's do that loop-de-loop
you do so well.

I'm gonna go.

Oh, boy.

Hey. We've still got
the job, right, Tony?

Just, uh, give me
a thumbs-up for a yes.

I guess that finger
means a no.

Oh, God!

Married, huh?

Uh, yeah.
It's kinda complicated.

It always is.

What the hell was that?

That girl's
a ring wrangler.

Groom grabber. Hubby humper?
She likes her men hitched.

Are you sure?
'Cause that's kinda crazy.

I know...

But it is
the forbidden fruit.

Are you eating a tomato
like an apple?

Uh-huh.
Who... Who does that?

I mean, seriously,
throw some burrata on that bitch.

Hey, Mol.

Look, I feel terrible
about our fight.

Peace offering?
I got you the last cupcake.

What do you say we give
our fake marriage another shot?

Well, since you went to
all that effort, I suppose.

Okay, good, 'cause I want
to get in with Heather Y.

She digs married dudes...

And I want to see
how this thing plays out.

You are unbelievable.

What? Just when I think you're
becoming a gentleman,

you go and say something
absolutely ridiculous like that!

Ooh, yeah. Yelling.

Now we really sound married.
Okay, good, good. Um...

Tikka masala sounds great.

See you tonight,
sweetheart.

What?

God!

Who here
needs a roommate?

Welcome to
the Thunderdome.

Ooh.
It's lovely.

Thank you so much
for letting me stay.

I've had quite enough
of Cameron.

Forget about Cameron.
This is your new home.

Let me give you a tour.

Here are all
of my action figurines,

arranged alphabetically

from Admiral Ackbar
to General Zod.

Very thorough.
Yeah.

Here is the fridge.
Oh.

Everyone needs a fridge.
Right?

And of course,
the gaming center.

Lovely.

And of course, that's
where the magic happens,

and if you're lucky,
I'll show you my wand.

Pardon me?

Oh. Thank goodness.

I thought you meant something
completely different.

Hello? Get your hand
off your wand

and hightail it back
to the office.

My spidey-sense
is tingling.

Copy that, boss.

What is your damage,
Veronica?

Shh. Ever since Heather showed up,

you've been acting
more bonkers than usual.

Yeah, well, clearly Heather doesn't
have a very high opinion of me,

and this video is a chance for her
to see me at my best.

You... You do realize

that we just loaded an American icon
into an ambulance?

Come on.

They're gonna leave it on the
cutting room floor. It's a saying.

They're here.
What?

Okay.

Okay, it's a wrap.

Ronnie,
it turned out great.

It's gonna be very.

That right? Well, when do
we see this opus?

When do you see my opus?
Actually...

We're premiering at
the O.C.P. Conference in a few days.

You two, of course,
are invited to that.

Totes!
I love surprises!

The only thing I love
more than surprises

is knowing every possible outcome
before it happens.

Okay, cupcakes,
here's the dealio.

Heather's been lying about
the video for the web site.

How do we know that? Had an old friend
named Vincent Coccotti...

He was counsel
for Blue Lou Boyle...

Told me that
there are certain things

a person does when they lie
that give 'em away.

A typical man has 17 pantomimes.
A woman has 22.

First telltale sign...

Heather repeated the question
when I asked.

That right?
When do we see this opus?

When do you get to
see my opus?

She avoided eye contact,

touched her nose
when she spoke,

gave too much detail,

changed her vocal pitch,

took too many pauses,

and of course,
the dead giveaway...

She gave me
the old dice roll

when she thought
my head was turned.

Spy shades.

Sky Mall,
you've done it again.

Now let's find out what the Heathers
are up to.

Okay. Hacking into
Heather's e-mail.

Let's see what
she's hiding.

And...

Ah, right there.
Click on that movie...

"Bleep Veronica says."

Okay.

And then on Fridays,
I like to turn

this water cooler into
a white wine cooler. Mmm.

How do you think our receptionist
got pregnant?

I drink most of it.

Has anybody
seen my glasses?

What? No!
These aren't my glasses.

Oh. Tap-able.

Been there, done that.
Out of the question.

Thought about it. Working on it.
Wearing her down.

You only live once.
Even that.

Late again and loving it.

Oh, darn it.
Is it Saturday?

Pfft. Not again.

This goes on
for another 20 minutes.

Yeah, they're gonna eat her alive
at the O.C.P. Conference.

What do we do?

We gotta
kill the Heathers.

Metaphorically.

Maybe.

To be determined.

Hey, what do you do here?

More like, "What do
I do here," right?

Yeah, could you just
click that off?

Now you see what
they've done here?

They've used some
fancy editing techniques

to make me look
like an idiot...

because, you know, I'm not anything
like that in real life.

Don't know how they pulled
that one off.

Okay, great. Well,
it's my own darn fault.

I probably should've
seen this coming after everything

that Heather O'Brien and I
have been through.

Wait a minute. She doesn't just hate you
for the regular reasons?

I slept with her fiance
and her brother,

and, uh, I made 'em do stuff
with each other.

Oh!

I guess I will simply
be embarrassed

by this video in front of the
entire company, and that will be that.

Good stuff.
All right. I'm out.

If you need me,
I will be tattooing

the word "idiot"
across my own face.

Okay, we need
to help Veronica,

so Operation Dumbo Swap is
in full effect.

We're gonna break
into Heather's house,

swap out her video

for one that makes Veronica
look like a star.

Cash, this ring is
a wireless spy cam.

I need you to follow Veronica
in secret, record her,

edit it together, and make her look
like a superstar.

Wonder twin powers,
activate!

Cameron, I need floor plans
of Heather's house pronto.

I'm on it. I'll also distract the young,
hot Heather by dating her.

How's that gonna help?
Don't question it.

She's coming over tonight
to commit adultery.

I mean, sure,
it's a little weird,

but nobody's getting hurt,
right?

Whoa, Cameron, your moral quandary,
it's a falsehood.

You're not married.
She's not married.

It's just consensual sex
between two crazy freaks.

Okay. It's settled.
I'll sleep with her.

And... And the Veronica thing.

Oh, this is so crazy.

Mmm. What if your wife
walked in on us?

Oh, man,
that'd be awful,

because I am totally
not single. Oh. Mmm.

Mmm. Yeah?
Tell me more.

Uh, yeah, I had, uh,
I had a June wedding in the Hamptons.

Flowers cost me a fortune.
Oh! You're nasty.

They... Yeah.
Oh. More.

Uh, I couldn't invite
my college buddies,

but she had to have
her second cousin there.

I don't care about your cousin.
Okay.

Tell me I'm hot.
Oh, you're so hot.

Oh.

Yeah. Tell me about your wife.
Oh.

Huh? About your wife.
Uh, my wife, she just tells me

I'm an inconsiderate
roommate...

I mean...
I mean groommate,

because that's what I am.
I'm... I'm a groom.

Oh.
Yeah. Yeah.

You poor baby.
I know.

Oh, you must be so bored with
your stuffy British wife.

Mmm.
Mmm.

Hey, are we gonna talk
through this whole thing?

Come on. Say it.
Say she's boring and uptight.

No, I don't...
I'm not gonna say that.

Yeah. Say it.
That's weird.

Huh? Tell me. Tell me she's an uptight,
boring bitch, huh?

Wait. Whoa!
Relax. That's not cool.

Molly's actually
a really nice person.

What? Wait. If she's so nice,
what are you doing with me?

I'm beginning to ask myself
the same question.

Ugh.

Are you one of those nice guys that,
like, loves his wife?

I mean, honestly, I can tell you,
at the moment, yes,

I like her
more than I like you.

Whatever.
I'm gonna motor.

You're gonna motor?

What the hell does
that mean?

Okay, magic man,
you ready to dazzle me?

Oh, damn right.

I've been following Veronica
around for seven hours,

editing for eight.
Mmm.

Set your phasers
to "stun."

Hello... I'm...

Veronica... And...

I... Like...
Business... And...

Money... And...

Success... And smiles.

Friendship... Boom!

Shaka-laka-laka!

What the hell is this?

Hey, the woman
can't say three words

without saying
something cuckoo nutballs.

Hey, I did the best
I could.

Maybe Heather's right, Oz.

Veronica is
super incompetent.

She's standing right behind me,
isn't she?

No. No. she's standing
right next to you.

How do you not see her?

I told you, I have
weak peripheral vision.

Okay, you boys can stop
whatever you're doing.

Heather is right.

I am a lost cause.

Well...

Oh!

Who...

Man, you weren't lying,
dude.

It's like you got one of those
invisible doggy cones around your neck.

Oh!

Okay. Great.

Here we are.
In and out.

Nobody gets hurt,
except me. Perfect.

Look, you can do this,
okay?

Just stay strong.

Yeah, well, I could
do that or...

Ooh. I could go talk to Hank Donaldson
in Marketing.

He's my weed guy.

No. No, no, no, no, no.
No illegal substances.

You're right.

Hey, ladies,
down in front.

Oh, great. Fantastic.

So you guys came by
to see the big bloodbath?

Look, Vee, I know
I give you a hard time,

but I like you too much
to see this happen to you.

Oswald, come on.

Let's just rip
the Band-Aid off, okay?

Hey, Heather!

Let's roll this pig!

And then on Fridays, I like
to turn this water cooler

into a white wine cooler.

Mmm! How do you think
our receptionist got pregnant?

I drink most of it.

No.
Whoo! Look at that!

I'm flying!

Oh!

What? No.
These aren't my glasses.

You are too much,
Veronica.

This is the best
conference ever.

Wish we had you at Corporate.
They're a bunch of stiffs.

Yeah.

Well...

Oh.

What the hell
is happening?

I believe you are a hit.
What?

You're so crazy, they thought you must
be joking.

I did it again,
right, Jimmy!

High five up top.

Thank you.

I think it's very sweet that you
guys tried to protect Veronica.

Well, that's what we do
in this office.

We protect our own.

Look, I suppose
if you'd like,

we could do some more
marriage bickering

just to salvage whatever weird thing
you have with Heather.

How do you know
it needs salvaging?

Um...

Because I... Was hiding
behind the couch

like a perv who likes
to spy on her roommate?

I...
Yes.

No, I actually came back
for my retainer and...

You knew I was there
the whole time?

Yeah. Why do you think I was
on the couch all night?

I wanted to see
how long you'd last.

Listen, you can move back in
if you want to.

You mean it?

Yeah, I'll even try
to close the cabinets.

No, you won't.
I really won't.

And I will try and let you close
with the ladies.

Game over.

Hey! Look who it is.

Mr. White!

Shaun!

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd drop off
a signed skateboard

and a signed contract.

What changed your mind?

Well, your boss is
very persuasive.

Aah!

Yeah, that's right.
Run away, crybabies!

Come back
when you're ready

for a woman who's
going through the change!

Right here.

Wow. I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but Vee, I am happy
to have you on my side.

Um, Veronica, Heather's back,
and she's...

Oh, you think that
have beaten me, Veronica?

I will tell you something,
and that is that I will not stop

until I... Aah!

Ugh.

I've never seen anyone
do that before!

I have.

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