Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:02,868
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
2
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,026
(HAMMERING)
3
00:00:29,128 --> 00:00:31,162
Yep,
without me, Judy,
4
00:00:31,230 --> 00:00:32,330
your pretty little legs
wouldn't have
5
00:00:32,398 --> 00:00:33,631
a balcony to stand on.
6
00:00:33,699 --> 00:00:35,300
Is it secure?
7
00:00:35,367 --> 00:00:37,034
That baby's
as secure as I am.
8
00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,171
Why? What, you don't think
I'm secure?
9
00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:42,340
(CRASHING NOISE)
(BOY GROANING)
10
00:00:42,408 --> 00:00:44,309
Oh, Dylan,
are you okay?
11
00:00:44,376 --> 00:00:45,443
Dylan?
12
00:00:45,510 --> 00:00:47,078
I have no feeling
in my arms or my legs!
13
00:00:47,146 --> 00:00:50,281
Oh, great.
Now I've got no Romeo.
14
00:00:50,349 --> 00:00:53,618
Okay!
Who built the balcony?
15
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:55,553
Okay, in retrospect,
16
00:00:55,621 --> 00:00:56,787
it might have been
foolish of me
17
00:00:56,855 --> 00:00:59,257
to consider paste
the nail's silent cousin.
18
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:00,725
But you live, you learn.
19
00:01:00,792 --> 00:01:02,894
I have 400
people coming,
20
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:05,063
not to mention
Mr. Joffrey Menell,
21
00:01:05,130 --> 00:01:07,966
the esteemed theater critic
from the PennySaver.
22
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,001
What do you
suggest I do?
23
00:01:10,069 --> 00:01:12,603
Well, you're really old.
Why don't you retire?
24
00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:15,573
(MACHINE POWERING UP)
25
00:01:15,641 --> 00:01:18,509
Dylan, are you sure
you can't go on?
26
00:01:18,577 --> 00:01:19,811
Clear!
27
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,748
What about
just the matinee?
28
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:27,385
Okay, okay, I'll just
get some tights,
29
00:01:27,452 --> 00:01:29,020
and I'll take these
funny little booties here.
30
00:01:29,087 --> 00:01:30,321
Thanks.
31
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,258
You Romeo?
'Tis to laugh.
32
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:34,326
'Tis it?
33
00:01:35,794 --> 00:01:37,662
"O my love,
34
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,063
"my wife!
35
00:01:39,965 --> 00:01:41,866
"Thou art not conquered
36
00:01:43,001 --> 00:01:44,969
"Beauty's ensign yet
37
00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:47,038
"Is crimson in thy lips
and in thy cheeks,
38
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,209
"And death's pale flag
has not advanced there."
39
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:55,780
Oh, my.
40
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,450
That was exquisite.
41
00:01:58,517 --> 00:01:59,851
Yeah, well, been
building that balcony
42
00:01:59,918 --> 00:02:01,853
since the first rehearsal.
I can do the whole play.
43
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,788
I can do Lady Capulet,
I can do Friar Laurence,
44
00:02:03,856 --> 00:02:05,257
I can do Cartman.
45
00:02:05,324 --> 00:02:07,692
(IMITATING CARTMAN) I'm not fat.
I'm festively plump.
46
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,394
Please, go and put
your tights on.
47
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:11,996
Okay. But I do
have the part, right?
48
00:02:21,306 --> 00:02:22,841
Mercutio slain!
49
00:02:24,577 --> 00:02:28,380
Fire-eyed fury
be my conduct now.
50
00:02:28,447 --> 00:02:31,916
Now, Tybalt, take the
villain back again
51
00:02:31,984 --> 00:02:34,419
for Mercutio's soul is but a
little way above our heads,
52
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:37,121
waiting for thine
to keep him company.
53
00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:40,759
Either thou or I,
54
00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:42,960
or both
must go with him!
55
00:02:45,364 --> 00:02:47,164
Thou, wretched boy,
56
00:02:47,232 --> 00:02:49,066
that didst
consort him here
57
00:02:49,134 --> 00:02:51,002
shalt with him hence.
58
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:57,842
This shall
determine that.
59
00:03:01,079 --> 00:03:03,147
(WHISPERS) Prepare
to die, Jedi Master.
60
00:03:04,249 --> 00:03:07,118
Bravo, Eric! Bravo!
61
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:09,787
I haven't seen
such raw talent
62
00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:11,456
since I directed
Meryl Streep
63
00:03:11,523 --> 00:03:16,794
in the 1977 senior class production
of The Meryl Streep Show.
64
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:18,229
Eric,
you were amazing.
65
00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:19,797
You know something?
You didn't like me at all
66
00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:21,732
before I became Romeo,
did you?
67
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,235
But now all of a sudden all these
people are applauding for me,
68
00:03:24,303 --> 00:03:25,570
and that impresses you.
69
00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:27,205
You know, there's a name
for people like you.
70
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:28,606
Really? What?
71
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,641
Mrs. Eric Matthews.
72
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:44,222
I have finally
found my niece.
73
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:45,690
You mean niche.
74
00:03:46,658 --> 00:03:48,192
Probably.
75
00:03:49,061 --> 00:03:50,795
Unbelievable.
76
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:53,230
These reviews
are incredible.
77
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,266
Look, Mom, if you're gonna pay
attention to the good reviews,
78
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,968
you gotta look
at the bad ones.
79
00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:58,069
But there are
no bad ones.
80
00:03:58,136 --> 00:04:00,071
I know!
(LAUGHING)
81
00:04:00,138 --> 00:04:02,807
Listen to this.
"Matthews' King Lear rules."
82
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:06,344
"Matthews' performance
would tame any shrew."
83
00:04:06,411 --> 00:04:08,512
Promise me you won't let these
things go to your head.
84
00:04:09,014 --> 00:04:11,215
I would never.
85
00:04:11,283 --> 00:04:13,317
Oh, look. Bloomingdale's
is having a white sale.
86
00:04:13,385 --> 00:04:15,286
That's not about me!
87
00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:24,728
Come on, Jack! Cory's
gonna be here, like...
88
00:04:24,796 --> 00:04:25,964
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
89
00:04:26,031 --> 00:04:27,898
Now. Get your coat!
90
00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:32,102
Topanga. What are
you doing here?
91
00:04:32,170 --> 00:04:33,771
There's something I want
to talk to you about.
92
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,641
Well, actually, we were
just on our way out.
93
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:38,042
I just want to make sure
you and I are okay.
94
00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:41,379
Yeah, yeah,
we're okay. Why?
95
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,947
Well, I know since
Cory and I broke up,
96
00:04:43,015 --> 00:04:44,516
things have been kind
of weird between us.
97
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:46,751
I care about
being your friend.
98
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:49,888
Jack! What happened
to your face?
99
00:04:49,955 --> 00:04:52,356
Apparently she doesn't care
about being my friend.
100
00:04:52,424 --> 00:04:53,891
We're on our way to
a basketball game.
101
00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,926
Now is not the time to be
making fun of Jack's face.
102
00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:57,728
No, he's not
going anywhere.
103
00:04:57,796 --> 00:05:00,464
Those look like chicken pox.
Do they itch?
104
00:05:00,532 --> 00:05:02,033
No, not really.
105
00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:05,136
However, these are
a little irritating.
106
00:05:05,203 --> 00:05:06,571
All right, you've got it.
This is serious.
107
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,640
If you don't take care of these
now, you could get really sick.
108
00:05:08,774 --> 00:05:10,875
I don't want to die.
109
00:05:10,976 --> 00:05:13,044
Nobody's dying. We are
going to the game.
110
00:05:13,111 --> 00:05:14,145
(DOORBELL BUZZES)
111
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:15,380
That's Cory.
No! Cory!
112
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:16,547
Don't come in here!
113
00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:17,748
CORY: Okay.
114
00:05:17,816 --> 00:05:19,450
Topanga, what are
you doing in there?
115
00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:21,318
She's trying to keep us from
going to see the Sixers.
116
00:05:21,386 --> 00:05:22,453
Cory, they have
chicken pox!
117
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,055
Run away, or you
could catch them!
118
00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:26,724
Save your breath, Topanga. He
is not going to listen to you.
119
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:32,797
I can't believe how
whipped that boy is.
120
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:35,166
And what do you mean,
"They have chicken pox"?
121
00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:37,668
I don't
want to die.
122
00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:39,003
You're not
going to die.
123
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:40,505
I'm going to stay here and
take care of both of you.
124
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:41,873
Jack has full-blown
chicken pox,
125
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,375
and you have
half-blown chicken pox.
126
00:05:43,442 --> 00:05:44,542
That is so
ridiculous, okay.
127
00:05:44,609 --> 00:05:46,177
If I have chicken pox,
where are my dots?
128
00:05:47,579 --> 00:05:49,280
Should I
connect them for you?
129
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:51,882
Oh, man, you're dying
worse than I am.
130
00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:54,985
I feel fine.
So I have dots.
131
00:05:55,053 --> 00:05:56,620
That's because
it hasn't hit you yet.
132
00:05:56,688 --> 00:05:58,289
When I had it,
I had dots, a fever,
133
00:05:58,356 --> 00:05:59,891
and I couldn't stand
on my own two feet.
134
00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:03,461
At any time during this sickness,
did you ever get quiet?
135
00:06:03,463 --> 00:06:05,763
I'll excuse that because
I know you're sick.
136
00:06:05,830 --> 00:06:08,399
I am not sick. I have
never felt better.
137
00:06:10,402 --> 00:06:11,669
Or perhaps I have.
138
00:06:11,737 --> 00:06:12,870
Put out your arms now.
139
00:06:17,175 --> 00:06:18,576
There he is!
(EXCLAIMING)
140
00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:22,213
You know, the real
tragedy tonight
141
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:23,815
is that William Shakespeare
couldn't be here
142
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,617
to see how
good you are.
143
00:06:25,684 --> 00:06:28,119
He'll come tomorrow. I
mean, we're here all week.
144
00:06:28,186 --> 00:06:29,587
Unbelievable.
145
00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:33,458
I cannot believe how deeply
you feel up there, Eric.
146
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,993
I mean, when you jumped
into Ophelia's grave,
147
00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:39,397
overcome with emotion,
and then wept openly,
148
00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,633
where did you get
your motivation?
149
00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:44,368
They got it right here
in the script. Look.
150
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,737
"Weeps openly."
151
00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,705
I mean, they tell
you what to do.
152
00:06:47,773 --> 00:06:50,107
Indeed.
A true thespian.
153
00:06:51,009 --> 00:06:52,944
Eric.
154
00:06:53,011 --> 00:06:55,480
There are some gentlemen here who want
to talk to you about your future.
155
00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:57,849
Are they gypsies?
156
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,017
Randolf Dickson.
Juilliard.
157
00:07:00,085 --> 00:07:01,453
What's that?
158
00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:04,188
The most prestigious acting
school in the country.
159
00:07:04,289 --> 00:07:06,290
Sir Ralph Kramdensen, RSC.
160
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:08,326
What's that?
161
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,128
Royal Shakespeare Company.
162
00:07:10,195 --> 00:07:12,130
The most famous theatrical
company in the world.
163
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:13,131
Excuse me.
164
00:07:13,198 --> 00:07:14,833
Matt Frazier, ABC.
165
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,400
What's that?
166
00:07:16,468 --> 00:07:17,936
The American
Broadcasting Company,
167
00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:21,072
the number one network
alphabetically in the world.
168
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,808
How would you like to come to
Hollywood and be on television?
169
00:07:23,876 --> 00:07:25,910
Me? In the TV?
170
00:08:20,599 --> 00:08:22,399
I'm home.
171
00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:24,502
This is where
I belong.
172
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,903
Thanks for coming
with me, Mr. Feeny.
173
00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,805
It would have been so
uncool if my parents came.
174
00:08:27,873 --> 00:08:29,507
I'm just here to see
that you get settled.
175
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,876
Now, remember, keep both
your feet on the ground.
176
00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:33,844
This town is
swimming with sharks.
177
00:08:33,912 --> 00:08:36,046
Hey! Stop attacking my town.
178
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:39,117
And the people here are real
down-to-earth, good kindly folk.
179
00:08:39,184 --> 00:08:41,419
Hey!
Get out of my space!
180
00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:42,787
Hey, there's
one of them now.
181
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:43,988
Hi, nice person.
182
00:08:44,189 --> 00:08:46,757
What do I have to do,
call my attorney?
183
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:48,859
Get out of my space!
184
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:51,796
Thank you.
185
00:08:51,863 --> 00:08:52,896
You're welcome.
186
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,665
And who might
you be, little girl?
187
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,401
I'm not a little girl. I'm 42.
188
00:08:57,469 --> 00:08:59,470
I just play
little girls on TV.
189
00:09:01,106 --> 00:09:02,272
Hello.
190
00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:04,842
Eric.
191
00:09:04,844 --> 00:09:06,444
Are you sure you want to
go through with this?
192
00:09:06,511 --> 00:09:08,079
More than anything.
193
00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:16,554
"And as he looked
into her dying eyes
194
00:09:16,622 --> 00:09:18,823
"and gently cradled
her dying head,
195
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:21,392
"he knew they would be
together again someday."
196
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:23,127
In heaven?
Yes.
197
00:09:25,130 --> 00:09:26,563
Okay, Topanga.
It's very nice.
198
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:28,733
My brother and I appreciate
everything you're doing for us,
199
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,267
but we're
all better now.
200
00:09:30,335 --> 00:09:33,070
So the next time we get chicken
pox, we'll give you a call.
201
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:34,505
Shawn,
stop scratching.
202
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:36,974
Topanga,
203
00:09:37,042 --> 00:09:39,777
I really don't
want your help.
204
00:09:39,845 --> 00:09:41,545
Well, I do, Shawn.
205
00:09:41,613 --> 00:09:43,313
Topanga's a good nurse.
206
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:46,550
My fever's down
to malaria level.
207
00:09:46,618 --> 00:09:48,686
I think I can go back
to my village now.
208
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,254
He's delirious.
209
00:09:50,322 --> 00:09:53,090
Jack, you can't get
off this couch, okay?
210
00:09:53,158 --> 00:09:54,325
Okay.
211
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:56,661
I don't care what he says,
I want you to stay.
212
00:09:56,795 --> 00:09:58,563
Jack...
Shawn, it's okay.
213
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,965
He doesn't know what he's saying.
It's the fever talking.
214
00:10:01,032 --> 00:10:02,533
That's not right.
215
00:10:02,601 --> 00:10:04,202
He doesn't want to
be friends with you
216
00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:05,837
because you
broke up with Cory.
217
00:10:05,904 --> 00:10:07,872
That means you were
never really friends.
218
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,208
No friends.
No friends at all.
219
00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:17,014
Although it seems to be a very
perceptive fever, doesn't it?
220
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:22,920
Hey, Eric!
221
00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:24,789
Hey,
come here, buddy.
222
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,491
Meet some of the cast
in your new family
223
00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:29,293
for the next 100 episodes,
I hope, I hope, I hope!
224
00:10:29,361 --> 00:10:31,763
Hey, guys,
this is Eric Matthews.
225
00:10:31,830 --> 00:10:34,064
He's going to be playing the
role of the long-lost brother.
226
00:10:34,132 --> 00:10:36,267
He's come all the way from
Philadelphia to try out,
227
00:10:36,334 --> 00:10:37,702
so let's make him
feel welcome.
228
00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:41,104
Yeah. This is our
star, Ben Sandwich.
229
00:10:41,172 --> 00:10:43,741
Hey, maybe you've heard of
his brother, Bread Sandwich?
230
00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:45,709
Oh, from that show!
231
00:10:45,977 --> 00:10:46,777
Yeah!
232
00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:49,079
Hey, how you doin'?
233
00:10:49,147 --> 00:10:51,716
Listen, let me tell you
what this show is not.
234
00:10:51,783 --> 00:10:56,354
This is not Long-lost Brother Gets
Acquainted With the Universe, okay?
235
00:10:56,421 --> 00:10:57,455
Okay.
236
00:11:01,893 --> 00:11:03,694
How you doin'?
237
00:11:04,596 --> 00:11:06,831
Sometimes I get shy.
238
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:08,833
People who aren't shy
make me nervous.
239
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:10,968
Hi!
240
00:11:11,035 --> 00:11:12,937
Oh, no, it's her.
241
00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:14,805
Are you the new guy?
Yeah.
242
00:11:14,872 --> 00:11:16,673
Hi! Welcome!
Hi.
243
00:11:16,741 --> 00:11:18,041
Have you
met Schneider?
244
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,977
Schneider is very shy.
245
00:11:20,044 --> 00:11:22,346
Too close, too close,
too close, too close!
246
00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:25,649
Deep down,
I'm shy, too.
247
00:11:25,717 --> 00:11:27,384
I'm a wounded bird.
248
00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:30,188
Schneider and me
are wounded birds.
249
00:11:31,056 --> 00:11:32,556
Help me!
250
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,660
Why do they need you?
What?
251
00:11:36,728 --> 00:11:38,228
Well, they got me already.
Why do they need you?
252
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,264
Actually, they just told me...
They got me.
253
00:11:40,331 --> 00:11:41,732
This doesn't
make any sense.
254
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:43,801
If they got me,
why do they need you?
255
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,235
Where's my banana?
256
00:11:45,303 --> 00:11:46,870
Is it or
is it not 2:15?
257
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,205
Hey, banana boy!
258
00:11:48,273 --> 00:11:49,940
Where's my banana boy?
259
00:11:50,008 --> 00:11:51,775
All right, mango boy.
You're promoted, baby.
260
00:11:53,811 --> 00:11:56,713
Nutty. Okay. Mr. Feeny,
these people are...
261
00:11:57,715 --> 00:11:59,783
Mr. Feeny?
262
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:02,420
You call this a classroom?
There are only nine desks.
263
00:12:02,487 --> 00:12:05,623
Are we supposed to believe there are
only 9 students in the whole class?
264
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:08,392
Well, actually, camera angles
will make it appear to be more.
265
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:10,127
That's diabolical.
266
00:12:11,963 --> 00:12:14,932
All right, everybody, let's
show Eric how it's done.
267
00:12:14,999 --> 00:12:16,734
Into costumes. Come on.
268
00:12:18,670 --> 00:12:21,271
Hey, Schneider, listen.
269
00:12:21,339 --> 00:12:24,508
Maybe you could give me a little
something to play off today, okay?
270
00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:27,611
You dead person.
You silent freak.
271
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,080
You know, I am so sick and
tired of carrying this show.
272
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:32,583
Sorry, Mr. Sandwich. Please
don't be upset with me.
273
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:35,620
I need this job so I can pay for
college and get an education.
274
00:12:35,687 --> 00:12:37,488
(LAUGHS)
Education?
275
00:12:37,555 --> 00:12:39,390
Son, listen, this show
goes four years,
276
00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:40,657
they'll give you
an honorary degree.
277
00:12:40,725 --> 00:12:42,659
You'll be
Dr. Creepy Weirdo.
278
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,528
Okay, come on,
places.
279
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:46,197
All right.
280
00:12:46,264 --> 00:12:49,333
Three, two, one,
281
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,635
action.
282
00:12:51,703 --> 00:12:53,604
Look, Rory,
all you have to do
283
00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:56,473
is get the keys to your father's
car and his credit card...
284
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,342
I don't know, Shane.
285
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,711
I got a real bad feeling about this one.
You know?
286
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:03,313
I've never done anything
like this before...
287
00:13:03,381 --> 00:13:04,849
Oh, man!
288
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,151
We're doing
this story again?
289
00:13:07,218 --> 00:13:10,287
How many times have we
done this, Matt, 100,000?
290
00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:12,323
He's yelling again.
Stop the yelling.
291
00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:17,094
How can I learn so much every
week and still be so stupid?
292
00:13:17,162 --> 00:13:19,796
Make him stop!
Make him stop!
293
00:13:19,864 --> 00:13:21,999
Okay, okay, we'll get
the writers to fix it.
294
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,202
Come on, Ben, we got the
best writers in town.
295
00:13:24,269 --> 00:13:25,536
Yeah, that's all
I hear, Matt!
296
00:13:25,604 --> 00:13:27,738
"They're young, they're
hip, they're fun."
297
00:13:27,805 --> 00:13:30,307
Hey! Do your jobs!
298
00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:34,445
Oh, what's wrong?
Did I hurt your feelings?
299
00:13:34,512 --> 00:13:38,148
Good! Because you know what
this script is? Poopy!
300
00:13:38,216 --> 00:13:40,250
It's not poopy!
You're poopy!
301
00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:42,620
Oh, boy.
302
00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:45,589
That was a good thing to say. Let's
just watch what happens now.
303
00:13:45,657 --> 00:13:47,057
All right, that's it!
304
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:48,759
You're fired,
all of you! Get out!
305
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:50,861
And clean out
your cubbies!
306
00:13:50,929 --> 00:13:55,299
Oh, yeah? Well, you can
kiss my diapered butt.
307
00:13:56,467 --> 00:14:00,037
I am too old
and too rich.
308
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,538
Mommy,
I'm fired again.
309
00:14:06,578 --> 00:14:08,512
Okay, Eric, you're
playing Derek, right?
310
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,781
The older, good-looking, not the
sharpest knife in the drawer,
311
00:14:10,848 --> 00:14:13,250
long-lost brother with a heart of gold.
You think you can play that?
312
00:14:13,318 --> 00:14:16,153
Can do. You don't mean
real gold, right?
313
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,489
Just like that.
Okay?
314
00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:19,757
We ready to roll?
315
00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:21,258
As they say
here in Hollywood,
316
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:23,960
"And action."
317
00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:27,565
Ouchy Mcgouchy,
little bro!
318
00:14:27,632 --> 00:14:28,966
If I can't have
my lucky tube socks,
319
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,735
I shall never pass
the astronaut test.
320
00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:34,337
That was great, Eric!
321
00:14:34,405 --> 00:14:35,906
I personally loved it.
322
00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:39,443
Don't do it that way, okay?
Don't do Shakespeare. Do you.
323
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:41,946
Don't do Shakespeare? All I've
ever done is Shakespeare.
324
00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:45,449
Do you. The role is you, Eric.
Do you.
325
00:14:45,516 --> 00:14:46,951
I don't know
how to do that.
326
00:14:47,018 --> 00:14:48,719
Just be honest.
327
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:51,922
Acting is
about honesty.
328
00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:55,759
So, all I have to do is just stand
up here and just be honest?
329
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:56,860
That's it.
330
00:14:57,528 --> 00:14:59,429
I can do that.
Sure!
331
00:14:59,497 --> 00:15:01,899
All right. Hey, let's
take it from Ben's line.
332
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,301
And
333
00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:07,137
action.
334
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,740
I'm really sorry, Derek,
335
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:14,178
but I washed your lucky
tube socks, and, well...
336
00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,449
You're not sorry.
What?
337
00:15:18,517 --> 00:15:19,916
What, all of a sudden
the cameras are on you,
338
00:15:19,984 --> 00:15:22,253
you're a different person?
What's that all about?
339
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,720
What?
What?
340
00:15:23,788 --> 00:15:26,757
I just saw the way you were acting
with the writers over there.
341
00:15:26,824 --> 00:15:28,825
You're just mean.
342
00:15:28,893 --> 00:15:31,094
Methinks you shrunk
my socks on purpose.
343
00:15:31,963 --> 00:15:33,364
Like that?
344
00:15:33,431 --> 00:15:34,498
And cut!
345
00:15:36,300 --> 00:15:39,269
Sorry for dragging you out
to California, Mr. Feeny.
346
00:15:39,337 --> 00:15:42,706
I had no idea the Windy
City would be so cruel.
347
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:46,544
Eric, just because Mr. Frazier
didn't like your performance
348
00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:49,613
and we got thrown
out of the studio,
349
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:52,382
doesn't mean
you weren't good.
350
00:15:52,450 --> 00:15:54,484
I mean, that's just
one man's opinion.
351
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:56,053
Well, what's
your opinion?
352
00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,487
Same as his.
353
00:15:57,555 --> 00:15:59,790
But what you have
to understand is that
354
00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:02,993
what comes easily
goes just as easily.
355
00:16:03,061 --> 00:16:05,196
I mean, if you want to be
an actor badly enough,
356
00:16:05,263 --> 00:16:09,166
you have to take classes,
study for years,
357
00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:11,468
face rejection
on a daily basis,
358
00:16:11,536 --> 00:16:14,138
and then
after 10,000 nos,
359
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,806
there might be
a glimmer of a chance
360
00:16:15,874 --> 00:16:18,843
that someone
might say yes.
361
00:16:21,479 --> 00:16:26,049
Next I want to be the heavyweight
champion of the world.
362
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:27,384
Great.
Let's go home.
363
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:28,519
Okay.
364
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:36,860
Hey, bud. Goin' to the grocery store.
You want anything?
365
00:16:36,928 --> 00:16:38,729
No. Thanks for asking.
366
00:16:38,797 --> 00:16:40,130
You're welcome.
367
00:16:40,197 --> 00:16:41,932
Hey, you're sure there's
nothing you need, right?
368
00:16:41,999 --> 00:16:44,368
Like maybe to call up a friend
and tell her you're sorry?
369
00:16:44,569 --> 00:16:46,503
I don't know what
you're talking about.
370
00:16:46,571 --> 00:16:49,340
You know who I mean. Come on.
She took care of us.
371
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:52,576
She was here for a couple of days.
Now she hasn't been around.
372
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,378
You know
the one I mean.
373
00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:57,881
Her name rhymes
with noshmanga.
374
00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:00,651
It's not my fault, Jack.
This is what happens
375
00:17:00,718 --> 00:17:02,552
when you're friends with a
couple and they break up.
376
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:05,156
You're forced
to choose sides.
377
00:17:05,223 --> 00:17:07,258
And Cory's
my best friend.
378
00:17:07,325 --> 00:17:09,126
Yeah. I'm sure
she realizes that.
379
00:17:09,227 --> 00:17:10,927
Well, yeah,
thanks to you.
380
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:12,429
Hey, look, my temperature
was, like, 112.
381
00:17:12,497 --> 00:17:14,331
I didn't know
what I was saying.
382
00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:15,732
It's okay.
383
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,101
I'm sure she felt uncomfortable, too.
She's not coming back.
384
00:17:20,138 --> 00:17:22,205
Yeah,
you're probably right.
385
00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:25,042
Hey. There's my
favorite nurse.
386
00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:26,409
Thank you.
387
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,981
Look, Shawn.
388
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:34,685
I know you're in a tough situation.
Cory's your best friend.
389
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:40,190
You know, he used to tell
me how wonderful you were.
390
00:17:40,258 --> 00:17:42,493
But guys always say great
things about their girlfriends
391
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,194
until they break up.
392
00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:47,131
And that's when
the truth comes out.
393
00:17:47,198 --> 00:17:52,035
You know, I've waited 15 years to find
out what he really thinks about you.
394
00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:53,404
Do you want to know
what he thinks about you
395
00:17:53,471 --> 00:17:54,804
now that
you're broken up?
396
00:17:54,872 --> 00:17:56,907
Shawn, I don't want
to talk about that.
397
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,442
You know, I just came
here to tell you
398
00:17:58,643 --> 00:18:00,811
that you are an
unappreciative little jerk,
399
00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,780
and if you're so
uncomfortable around me
400
00:18:02,847 --> 00:18:05,048
that we can't be friends now
that I'm not seeing Cory,
401
00:18:05,116 --> 00:18:07,885
then maybe we were never
really friends at all.
402
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:10,221
And I want you to
tell me that to my face.
403
00:18:10,288 --> 00:18:12,223
Now that
you've broken up,
404
00:18:12,290 --> 00:18:15,593
he still tells me
how wonderful you are.
405
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:18,495
He's completely brokenhearted
over what he's lost.
406
00:18:20,098 --> 00:18:21,531
So am I.
407
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:25,769
(SIGHS)
Cory's my best friend.
408
00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:30,841
But I want to tell you
to your face that
409
00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:34,011
if I knew that you and I
weren't friends anymore
410
00:18:35,112 --> 00:18:37,047
it'd break
my heart, too.
411
00:18:39,851 --> 00:18:41,352
You want soup?
412
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:45,255
Will you
feed it to me?
413
00:18:51,429 --> 00:18:53,063
Where are they?
414
00:18:53,131 --> 00:18:54,664
What are you
looking for?
415
00:18:54,732 --> 00:18:56,366
I'm supposed to shoot hoops.
I can't find them anywhere.
416
00:18:56,467 --> 00:18:57,934
Can't find what?
My tube socks!
417
00:18:58,002 --> 00:19:01,071
My lucky tube socks. Have you by
any chance seen them anywhere?
418
00:19:01,706 --> 00:19:03,574
Oh, uh...
419
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:05,476
You're gonna find this kind
of hard to believe, Eric,
420
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:08,512
but, last night
for no logical reason
421
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:09,780
that you could
possibly think of,
422
00:19:09,847 --> 00:19:14,084
I did the wash instead of Mom, and...
Well...
423
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:16,320
This is so funny.
424
00:19:17,355 --> 00:19:18,922
Where are my
lucky tube socks?
425
00:19:19,423 --> 00:19:21,458
Well.
426
00:19:21,526 --> 00:19:23,393
I don't think they're
so lucky anymore.
427
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,730
That's not the line.
428
00:19:27,732 --> 00:19:29,299
What?
429
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:31,902
The line was, "Honey, I
shrunk the tube socks."
430
00:19:31,969 --> 00:19:33,970
Oh, I know.
I'm sorry, Will.
431
00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:35,739
I was trying
something new.
432
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,209
Oh! You were just... You were
trying something new, huh?
433
00:19:38,276 --> 00:19:39,810
Yeah. Here, why don't
you try this, huh?
434
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:42,546
Is this new? Does this
all look new to you?
435
00:19:42,613 --> 00:19:45,949
Here's new! Yeah!
436
00:19:46,016 --> 00:19:48,251
I quit!
I'm out of here!
437
00:19:51,155 --> 00:19:53,657
Cory! Eric!
Guess what!
438
00:19:53,725 --> 00:19:55,759
I blew up
another mailbox.
439
00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:01,264
What,
Will flip out again?
440
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,100
Yeah, yeah, he did.
441
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,669
What are we gonna do? I mean,
he's gonna be hard to replace.
442
00:20:05,737 --> 00:20:07,270
Yeah, you're right.
443
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:12,710
Hey, banana boy!
444
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,612
Want to be a star?
445
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,247
Huh?
446
00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:21,847
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32562
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
