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1
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:12,168
- Football?
- No, no. Pain. Cleats on face.
2
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:16,650
- Modern dance?
- No. Lotta girls. Tights. No.
3
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:20,848
- Drama club?
- No. Lotta guys. Tights. No.
4
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:24,119
- That's the list, Cor.
- None of these are me, Shawn.
5
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,320
I mean, here I am, going into
my eighth year of public education,
6
00:00:27,394 --> 00:00:30,558
- and who am I, really?
- You're you. You're Cory Matthews.
7
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,657
Yeah, but there's no
Cory Matthews club on here,
8
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,259
there's no club for ordinary guys
who don't know who they are
9
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,327
- and aren't great at anything.
- So start one.
10
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:41,064
- Oh, I probably wouldn't get in.
- (bell rings)
11
00:00:41,141 --> 00:00:43,269
Cory, you got a lot of good qualities.
12
00:00:43,343 --> 00:00:47,940
- Hey, you're honest, loyal and decent.
- Housebroken, too.
13
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:50,644
I'm a stinkin' beagle.
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,845
All right, people,
this just off the wire.
15
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,288
Elections for next year's eighth-grade
class president will be held next week.
16
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:57,551
(as if sneezing) Who cares?
17
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,616
(as if coughing) Detention!
18
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:01,184
Sorry!
19
00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:04,356
Too many people whine and moan
about the way things run around here.
20
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:07,196
Well, this is a chance to change things
by getting involved.
21
00:01:07,267 --> 00:01:08,963
But remember,
this is a student election...
22
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:12,666
(students)...it's not a popularity contest.
23
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:16,267
I think we've been spending
a little too much time together.
24
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:20,337
The point is, your class president doesn't
need to be a quarterback or a cheerleader.
25
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You'll be much better off with someone
who's honest, loyal and decent.
26
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,520
- Cory, that's you.
- What?
27
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,783
You wanted to know who you were.
You could be president.
28
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- Come on.
- All right, let's have some nominations.
29
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I got somebody good.
I nominate me.
30
00:01:35,228 --> 00:01:38,687
Your humility is impressive, Meese,
but someone else has to nominate you.
31
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:43,330
- Topanga, how about it?
- No, go away, and don't look at me.
32
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,397
Come on,
Meese here has the guts to run.
33
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:46,838
Someone should have the guts
to nominate him.
34
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,808
All right, big deal.
I'll nominate him.
35
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,571
What are you doing?
That's your competition.
36
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:53,375
- I'm not running.
- Anybody else?
37
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,611
The great state of Shawn nominates
the people's choice... Cory Matthews.
38
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:57,844
- No!
- No!
39
00:01:57,918 --> 00:02:00,581
He's not gonna settle for
second-rate leadership.
40
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,179
Matthews, you've been nominated.
Do you accept?
41
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:04,315
- No way.
- No way would he turn down a chance
42
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,257
to serve his fellow students.
43
00:02:06,326 --> 00:02:07,658
What are you, his handler?
44
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,424
- Yes, I am.
- No, he's not.
45
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,590
Look, I don't know anything
about being president, OK?
46
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,260
I wouldn't have a clue.
I'm not somebody special.
47
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:19,238
I'm just an average guy like all of you,
the simple, hard-working...
48
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:25,644
students who struggle day after day
with too much homework, unfair teachers,
49
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,773
and an antiquated justice system
that relies too much on detention.
50
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:32,718
And if elected...
if I win and you guys vote for me...
51
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:39,158
I would say to each and every one of you,
"Hey, thanks!"
52
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:48,097
(Shawn) You got something, man.
You could really win this.
53
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,694
Yeah, but Shawn, there are like
400 kids in our grade,
54
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,205
and I don't even know most of them.
55
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:56,141
That's why we have to take your message
from the lunchrooms to the bathrooms,
56
00:02:56,209 --> 00:03:00,203
from the halls to the stalls.
We have to tell everybody who you are!
57
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,250
- But I'm not anybody.
- Say it again.
58
00:03:03,316 --> 00:03:06,218
- I'm not anybody.
- That's what they like.
59
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:09,745
You're not some handsome,
smart, popular guy.
60
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:10,847
You're not cool.
61
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,155
- You're not even halfway...
- Hey! I got it.
62
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:15,320
Thank you.
You're on my side, right?
63
00:03:15,395 --> 00:03:17,261
There is no other side.
64
00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:20,129
I'm gonna put together a campaign
like this school has never seen,
65
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,932
an unstoppable tidal wave,
gathering snow, blazing through the sky,
66
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,872
crushing everything in its beak.
67
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,739
You're getting off on this,
aren't you?
68
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,711
I gotta say I am.
69
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:35,715
This is Cory Matthews'
campaign commercial, directed by me.
70
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:41,779
The following is paid for by Citizens
to Elect Cory, which so far is... just me.
71
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,389
(Shawn) Action!
72
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,052
Cory Matthews...
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00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,425
loyal,
74
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:49,861
honest,
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00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,956
decent,
76
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,160
a leader who dares to say...
77
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:57,534
Hey, I'm average.
78
00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:01,666
Why, hello there, young lady.
And what do you think of me?
79
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,177
Hi, Cory.
Tell me how you plan to make this school
80
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:08,204
a more effective institution
for the entire student body.
81
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,807
Well, that's a very...
Shawn!
82
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,443
(Shawn) Cut!
83
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:14,920
Topanga, could you please just read
what I wrote out for you?
84
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:18,220
Yeah, like I'm gonna say,
"Cory's cute and cuddly.
85
00:04:18,291 --> 00:04:21,591
That's what's important
to me as a girl."
86
00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,290
- What?
- This is not how I think.
87
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,595
This is not how any girl thinks.
88
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,464
And there's no "m" in "cuddly."
89
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:31,334
Topanga, please,
Shawn knows what he's doing.
90
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:33,737
- No. No, I don't.
- What?
91
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,070
Really. She's right.
92
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:38,135
I should have been more sensitive
to our female brothers.
93
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:41,613
Tell you what.
These... these are gone.
94
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,912
I want you to say
whatever you think needs to be said
95
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,419
as a human being
who just happens to be female.
96
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:49,388
- Apology accepted.
- Before you start, could you wet your lips?
97
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,449
You are so sleazy.
98
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,256
What?
99
00:04:54,327 --> 00:04:55,488
What?
100
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:58,828
(Shawn) OK. The idea here is that you
and your brother share a common bond -
101
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,334
brotherhood.
We want to show that to the voters.
102
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:04,200
So basically you just want to see me
being an older brother.
103
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:07,366
There you go.
OK, action!
104
00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:11,843
- (Eric) Hey, Cor!
- Hey, there, older brother.
105
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,813
You know, Cor,
I was just sitting here thinking,
106
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,111
what makes my little brother special?
107
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:19,017
What sets him apart from the other
seventh-grade candidates?
108
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:21,281
Is it his allergy to scallops?
109
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,344
Eric.
110
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:25,915
- Is it his Scooby-Doo thermos?
- Where'd you find that?
111
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:30,930
No, I think it's his fuzzy bunny pajamas
with the cottontail.
112
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:33,262
I haven't worn these for years, I swear.
113
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,632
Boinky, boinky, boinky.
Vote for me! Vote for me!
114
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,695
- Boinky, boinky, boinky...
- (Shawn) Cut!
115
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,207
Oh! Hey, guys, whatcha doin'?
116
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:43,971
- Cut!
- Campaign commercial.
117
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,879
- Is this your script?
- No, no, n...
118
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:51,908
"It's morning at Cory's house
and Cory's having pizza for breakfast.
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00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:54,819
"Yes, Cory does pretty much
whatever he wants.
120
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:58,052
Why? Because his parents are dead."
121
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:01,790
Shawn wrote it.
122
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:06,596
- Mrs. Matthews, I could lie to you.
- Oh, why stop now?
123
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:10,068
Our research shows that parents
are not thought of as cool,
124
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:14,301
so if we can position Cory as being
"on his own," individual, independent,
125
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,741
we increase his level of cool.
126
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:20,872
And, Cor, how cool do you feel
about the recent demise of your parents?
127
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,940
It's just temporary, Mom.
I mean, as soon as I'm elected,
128
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:29,354
you and Dad will be found living
amongst the bears in the Oregon woods.
129
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,414
OK.
130
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:39,765
Mr. McGruder, I don't care to hear
what your little brother tore up
131
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,461
or what your dog ate.
132
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:46,131
I want your paper on my desk
by first bell tomorrow or else.
133
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:50,041
- You'll give me an F.
- I'll give you a G.
134
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:53,046
As in, "Gee, if I'd just
done my work on time,
135
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:58,142
I wouldn't be the only 40-year-old
in the 7th grade."
136
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,483
Ta-ta.
137
00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:03,682
- He's not human.
- You want him gone?
138
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:07,886
- Can you do that?
- Cory can.
139
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,193
If he's elected, Feeny's gone.
140
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:12,857
You can do that?
141
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:17,701
If that's what you want,
that's what Cory will do.
142
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,468
Spread the word.
143
00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:25,740
Shawn, I want to win too,
but in what part of your diseased mind
144
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:29,476
does the eighth-grade class president
get to fire the principal?
145
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,745
Cory, come on.
It's just a campaign promise.
146
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,810
It's what you say to get elected.
147
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:37,619
Now, repeat after me.
Give the people what they want.
148
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,023
Yeah, but I...
149
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,994
Give the people what they want...
150
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,930
(mumbles) Give the people
what they want.
151
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,457
And if teachers get paid for teaching,
then students should get paid for learning.
152
00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:49,764
(all) Yeah!
153
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,465
And this homework thing...
what is that about?
154
00:07:52,539 --> 00:07:54,303
If they can't teach enough
during school hours,
155
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:57,469
- why is that our problem?
- (all) Yeah!
156
00:07:57,544 --> 00:08:02,039
- This guy may be cheesier than we are.
- What do we do?
157
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,778
We break out the heavy cheese.
158
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,117
Let me tell you something, my friends.
159
00:08:08,188 --> 00:08:10,885
How can you believe anything
this guy says?
160
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,585
He's got straight A's.
161
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,753
He's been making you
look dumb for years.
162
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:19,528
Can you really trust this...
this curve breaker?
163
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:22,296
- Curve breaker!
- (all) Curve breaker! Curve breaker!
164
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,564
Curve breaker! Curve...!
165
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,901
Talk to 'em, Cory.
Tell 'em what they want to hear.
166
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:27,941
Curve breaker!
Curve breaker!
167
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,341
My fellow students,
168
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:35,280
there are many challenging issues
which currently face John Adams High,
169
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,944
issues that seemingly have no solutions...
170
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:45,150
And I say there'd be fewer problems
if we spent less time here.
171
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,854
I mean, what's the deal with this
five-day school week?
172
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:50,692
I don't know about you guys,
but I'm pretty much shot by Wednesday,
173
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,528
so let's end the week there.
174
00:08:52,599 --> 00:08:56,161
If I'm president, Thursdays and Fridays
are part of the weekend.
175
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,636
(all) Yeah!
176
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,196
- Mondays are optional.
- Yeah!
177
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,471
- Tuesdays, come in prepared to learn.
- Yeah!
178
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,273
We are the future!
179
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:08,008
Hey, you can't make
five-day weekends.
180
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,641
Yeah, well, you can't pay kids
for going to school.
181
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,846
- Are you questioning my integrity?
- Yeah, we are.
182
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:19,086
Well, I question yours,
and I have proof. Nobody move.
183
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,890
Shawn, he doesn't have
anything on us, does he?
184
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:25,728
No, it's a bluff. It's gotta be.
185
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:29,930
Listen, man, a lot of weird stuff
goes on in the trailer park.
186
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:34,104
When do you step in
and teach them the democratic process?
187
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,508
If Matthews wins, Tuesday.
188
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,040
Mr. Turner, all I'm hearing
from your little election
189
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:44,846
are ridiculous promises
and character assassination.
190
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,682
Too much like the real thing, George?
191
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,315
Yes, but don't we aspire
for their generation to do better?
192
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,484
Yeah, we do.
But we can't just tell them what to do.
193
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,687
They have to learn for themselves.
194
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,287
So you believe in letting them
make their own mistakes?
195
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,958
Yeah, I do.
I don't think that's a bad way to go.
196
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:03,128
Nor I. In fact,
I have that philosophy
197
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:06,298
toward a certain young teacher
that I know.
198
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,408
What, you mean me?
199
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,636
Voters and voterettes,
200
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,842
this poor, exploited young woman
is named Paula,
201
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:19,579
and she has a sordid story to tell.
202
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:22,816
Go ahead, Paula.
Tell them what you told me.
203
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:27,259
I was in third grade
with Shawn Hunter.
204
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:32,589
One day, he and I were standing
near the monkey bars, and...
205
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,464
I can't go on.
206
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,667
Go ahead, Paula.
Be strong.
207
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:45,003
Well, Shawn said that...
that all girls...
208
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,213
- ...were icky!
- (students gasp)
209
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,580
Oh, God, come on.
I never said that.
210
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:55,987
You wrote it on my notebook.
"All girls are icky."
211
00:10:56,055 --> 00:10:58,047
Give me a break.
I was only eight.
212
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:01,026
I didn't like girls then,
but I love them now.
213
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:03,495
- So you changed your mind?
- Of course.
214
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,589
- Flip-flop.
- What?
215
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,134
Flip-flop.
He changes his mind about girls.
216
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,864
Who knows what he's gonna
change his mind about next?
217
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,429
- Flip-flopper.
- (students) Flip-flopper! Flip-flopper!
218
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,940
- (all) Flip-flopper...
- Wait a minute!
219
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,910
Wait, wait, wait.
Shawn's not even running here.
220
00:11:17,977 --> 00:11:21,243
- But he represents you, doesn't he?
- I sure do.
221
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,977
Then Cory, are you prepared
to drop out of the race?
222
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,712
- No.
- Are you prepared to drop
223
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,482
your flip-flopping one-time
sexist campaign manager?
224
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:31,616
All I want is justice.
Shawn has to go.
225
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,490
- Shawn must go!
- (students) Shawn must go!
226
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:36,291
- (all) Shawn must go!
- Wait a minute.
227
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:40,390
Don't you guys want a president who's
loyal to his friends 1000 percent?
228
00:11:40,466 --> 00:11:41,991
(all) No!
229
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:45,561
- Really? That's what you guys want?
- (all) Yes!
230
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:48,005
Then Shawn is out.
231
00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,168
Yeah!
232
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,939
(students cheer)
233
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:57,245
How could you do this to me?
234
00:11:57,317 --> 00:12:00,287
Did you hear them cheer, Shawn?
I think we picked up a lot of girl votes.
235
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:03,118
You said we were weak on girls.
236
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:04,817
Cory, you fired me.
237
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:08,555
- Well, yeah, just a little.
- No. No, no, it was all of me.
238
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:11,757
But I had to.
We're in this to win, right?
239
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:13,299
"We"?
240
00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,732
"We"?
241
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:16,565
"We"?!
242
00:12:16,636 --> 00:12:19,731
- Shawn, you're squealing.
- Yeah, I'm squealing.
243
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,071
That's the sound you make
when your best friend takes a gun
244
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:25,202
and stabs you in the back
right in front of your eyes.
245
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:29,477
Look, I just did what you told me to.
I gave the people what they wanted.
246
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:33,316
- Well, I want my campaign back.
- Yeah, since when was it your campaign?
247
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:37,790
Only since I nominated you and told you
what to say every step of the way.
248
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:41,259
You were helpful in the early going,
and I'll never forget that.
249
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,159
You fired me.
250
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:46,063
Shawn, my friend,
this is not a time for bitterness.
251
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:48,761
This is a time for healing.
252
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:53,634
You know what, Cory Matthews?
If I met you just this minute,
253
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,675
I wouldn't know who you are.
254
00:12:56,843 --> 00:13:00,075
I'm Cory Matthews,
the next president of the eighth grade.
255
00:13:00,146 --> 00:13:02,342
Not without me, pal.
256
00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:05,808
So how's the campaign?
257
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:11,647
We're just reevaluating,
you know, considering a new direction.
258
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:14,319
Mm-hmm. And that would be down?
259
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,158
Look, Shawn was just holding me back.
260
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,322
Yeah, you're right.
261
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,093
It's probably a good move
to dump your best friend
262
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,293
for a dopey class election
you're gonna lose anyway.
263
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,336
You know what?
You're jealous, huh?
264
00:13:23,403 --> 00:13:25,235
You're used to being the big man...
265
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,537
Mr. Rugby Shirt, Mr. Good Hair,
Mr. Dimples.
266
00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:31,077
Oh, stop. Stop.
267
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,340
When I'm president,
people are gonna look at you,
268
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,709
and you know what they're gonna say?
269
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:38,684
Who's sitting next to Cory?
Who's that giving Cory the ride home?
270
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:40,413
Who's the guy with photos
of little Cory
271
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,853
running naked through the sprinkler?
272
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:45,754
Eric, big deal. I was four.
273
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,556
You were 12.
274
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,397
It was refreshing.
275
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,065
Cory, it's late.
What are you doing up?
276
00:13:57,136 --> 00:14:01,665
I'm just working on my speech
for tomorrow's debate.
277
00:14:01,741 --> 00:14:03,232
- Hey, Cor?
- Yeah?
278
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:06,711
How are you gonna get 'em
to shoot Baywatch at your school?
279
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:09,442
- Well, we have a pool.
- No, you don't.
280
00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:12,178
Keep reading.
281
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:13,847
Ah.
282
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,719
Oh, and a water slide.
Oh, nice touch.
283
00:14:16,789 --> 00:14:19,759
What are you gonna call it?
Raging Promises?
284
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,727
Dad, it's just to get elected.
285
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:24,025
Once I win, then I'll do
the real stuff...
286
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:27,033
clean up the graffiti,
get better food in the cafeteria,
287
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,966
just be an all-around voice
for the students.
288
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:32,369
That sounds pretty good.
Why don't you put some of that in here?
289
00:14:32,438 --> 00:14:34,873
Because it's boring,
and nobody votes for boring.
290
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:37,240
They want to hear
what you're gonna give 'em.
291
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,246
Even if that's not really
what you're gonna give 'em?
292
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,908
Dad, you don't sound like
you're behind me on this.
293
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:44,848
Cory, I'm always behind you.
294
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:47,409
I'm just not sure I'm behind
what you're saying here.
295
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,649
I'm just trying to win.
296
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,851
- Why is that so important?
- So I can be president.
297
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:56,054
- Why do you want to be president?
- Because then I'll finally fit in
298
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,860
and be the person I want to be.
299
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:01,059
Who do you want to be?
300
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,798
Cory Matthews...
honest, loyal, decent.
301
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,699
Honest to the voters,
loyal to your best friend,
302
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:12,644
and decent enough
to kill off your parents.
303
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:22,155
After this morning's debate,
you will return to your homerooms
304
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:25,419
and cast your votes
for eighth-grade class president.
305
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,521
Now, the candidates.
306
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,359
Alvin W. Meese.
307
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,026
- (cheering)
- (boys) Alvin! Alvin!
308
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,729
And Cory A. Matthews.
309
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,932
(cheering)
310
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:43,466
Slim pickin's indeed.
311
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,777
We will now hear opening statements.
312
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:49,680
- Slight change of plans.
- You said I could be moderator.
313
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,275
Well, now there's even more to moderate.
314
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:53,341
Oh.
315
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,854
All right. Technically we never
closed the nomination process,
316
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:59,188
and so, as of just now,
there's a new candidate for president.
317
00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:01,989
Oh, good.
Perhaps a serious-minded student
318
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:05,327
appalled by the tawdry level
of the campaign thus far.
319
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:06,866
- Shawn Hunter.
- (cheers and applause)
320
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:09,061
I quit.
321
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,666
How you doing?
Vote for me. Vote for me.
322
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,606
Shawn, what are you doing?
323
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:19,506
What I should have done in the first place -
run for president myself.
324
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,911
Can he do this?
325
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,745
Mr. Turner, this is your
little experiment in democracy.
326
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,580
- Can he do this?
- I don't see why not.
327
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:29,247
Democracy is always invigorated
by the infusion of fresh, new ideas.
328
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,553
Do you have any ideas, Mr. Hunter?
329
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:35,026
Oh, yeah.
Big honkin' ones.
330
00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,562
"Big honkin' ones."
331
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:42,458
So, flip-flopper,
call any girls "icky" lately?
332
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,061
Thank you for bringing that up, Alvin.
333
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:48,164
Yes, I... I have made
some mistakes in the past.
334
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,971
I have called some girls icky,
335
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:53,911
but that was a long time ago,
when I had cooties.
336
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:58,884
That's right. That's right.
I, Shawn Hunter, had cooties,
337
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:00,681
but I fought my way back,
338
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:05,384
and I stand before you today
cootie-free and girl-friendly.
339
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,292
And to prove that,
I'd like to introduce to you
340
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,661
my co-candidate for president...
Paula Kelly.
341
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,427
(boy hoots)
342
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,633
- Aww.
- Can he do this?
343
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,264
- Can he do this?
- I don't see why not.
344
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:23,639
- Democracy is always--
- Oh, be quiet.
345
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,507
How far are you willing to let this go?
346
00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:28,377
I have faith in these students
and the electoral process,
347
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:30,780
and...
maybe just another minute.
348
00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:34,252
Shawn Hunter's only in this race
so he can get back at me for firing him.
349
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,653
And you're only in it
because you didn't know who you were.
350
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,955
Well, I know who I am now.
I'm Cory Matthews, man of the people.
351
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:44,623
OK, man of the people,
didn't you lie to the people?
352
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,723
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
353
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:49,291
Didn't you make them
outrageous campaign promises
354
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:51,200
you knew you couldn't possibly deliver?
355
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:53,102
Yeah, only 'cause you told me to.
356
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:55,539
If I told you to jump off a bridge,
would you listen to me?
357
00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:58,601
Yeah, I did that one time.
Don't you remember?
358
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:02,672
How can you vote for a guy
who's dumb enough to jump off a bridge?
359
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,376
It was a miniature golf bridge.
360
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:07,181
He jumped in to get my ball,
and don't call my friend dumb.
361
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,722
Yeah, there's no room in this campaign
for name-calling,
362
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:12,691
you four-eyed, frog-voiced geek.
363
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,118
My mother does not buy my clothes.
364
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:21,490
I resign.
365
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:25,004
- (boy) Hey, nice outfit!
- (cheers and applause)
366
00:18:25,071 --> 00:18:27,768
Order. Order!
367
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,274
This has all gone far enough.
368
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,504
Go back to your classrooms
and cast your votes
369
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:32,840
for the remaining candidates,
370
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:35,848
and may God have mercy on your souls.
371
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:36,746
Wait a minute, Mr. Feeny.
372
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,445
Before they vote, shouldn't they
hear what we have to say?
373
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,111
No.
374
00:18:41,187 --> 00:18:44,715
Look, I just want to say
that before this election,
375
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:48,557
I really didn't know who I was
or what was important to me,
376
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:53,498
but now, weeks later,
after looking deeply into my soul,
377
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,229
I still have no idea.
378
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,603
I know less than he knows.
379
00:19:00,239 --> 00:19:03,334
Thank you, Mr. Lincoln,
but wait your turn.
380
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:07,039
So I ran for president
to find out who I was,
381
00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,605
and what I think
I'm finding out is that...
382
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:12,880
I'm not a good candidate
383
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,547
or a good friend.
384
00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:17,317
So I withdraw from the race,
385
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,690
and I think everyone here
should vote for Shawn.
386
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,992
He's really the best friend
you could have.
387
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,965
No, I'm not.
I'm worse than you.
388
00:19:27,566 --> 00:19:30,035
I made up every lie he told.
389
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:35,871
I've known Cory all my life,
and he really is honest, loyal and decent.
390
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:40,106
That's what you are, Cor.
That's all you need to be.
391
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:44,041
I withdraw from the race, too.
392
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,743
Well, Mr. Feeny, we're both out.
393
00:19:47,386 --> 00:19:50,447
Yes, well, I'm sure you'll do well
in the private sector.
394
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,322
Wait a second.
I wanted to be president.
395
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:55,987
I wanted my life to mean something.
396
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,430
- You want to go grab a burger?
- I'm out.
397
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:03,159
Well, Mr. Turner,
your little experiment in democracy
398
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,535
has left the eighth grade
leaderless for next year.
399
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:10,474
Too bad. I was looking forward
to Matthews' five-day weekend.
400
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:13,012
OK, folks, that's our show.
Thank you for coming.
401
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:16,208
We now return you
to your regular Friday schedule.
402
00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:19,548
Wait a minute.
Our class needs a leader.
403
00:20:19,618 --> 00:20:25,285
And if we ignore all our problems,
they're not just going to... go away.
404
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:29,419
There's graffiti all over the walls,
and those old social studies books?
405
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,088
When are they gonna replace those?
406
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,189
And how about some better food
in the cafeteria?
407
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:35,860
(cheering)
408
00:20:36,635 --> 00:20:39,696
And if elected, I will be a voice
for the entire student body.
409
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:42,970
She's got my vote. You know,
she would make a great president.
410
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:46,570
Yeah, I knew it would all work out.
411
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:50,275
- Do you realize how lucky you are?
- Yes, sir. Very lucky.
412
00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:53,615
What we really need is someone who will
work hard to make small but real changes
413
00:20:53,686 --> 00:20:56,019
that will make a meaningful difference
in our daily lives.
414
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,886
Honest, loyal, decent...
415
00:20:57,957 --> 00:21:01,018
- What about a water slide?
- You got it.
416
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,387
- And the power means nothing to her.
- (Topanga) Topanga!
417
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,865
(students) Topanga!
Topanga! Topanga! Topanga!
418
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:11,870
- Topanga! Topanga!
- (chanting continues)
419
00:21:19,378 --> 00:21:21,938
Cory seemed pretty quiet during dinner.
420
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:25,576
Yeah, at least we didn't have to
listen to any campaign promises.
421
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:28,621
Poor little guy. He would have
made such a cute president.
422
00:21:28,687 --> 00:21:29,950
I think he's better off.
423
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:34,016
- I'm kind of proud of him for dropping out.
- I didn't know he dropped out.
424
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:36,528
Made a bunch of promises
he couldn't keep,
425
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:38,962
and it finally caught up to him.
Good lesson to be learned.
426
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,626
You cannot make promises like that.
People remember.
427
00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:45,137
Yeah, like when you promised
to take me to Europe.
428
00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:46,904
Exactly.
429
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:48,932
Do you remember when you said that?
430
00:21:49,008 --> 00:21:51,375
Yes, I do.
I remember we were, um...
431
00:21:51,443 --> 00:21:54,174
- sitting at that place...
- That's right.
432
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:56,681
We were drinking that wine
and eating all those strawberries,
433
00:21:56,749 --> 00:22:00,982
and you said, "Sweetheart, one day
I'm going to take you to Paris, I promise."
434
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,045
And that's a promise I'm gonna keep.
435
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,717
This summer. Paris.
You can book the tickets.
436
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:08,056
Ohh, Alan.
437
00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:10,824
Paris. You and me, babe.
438
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:17,231
Mom, did Dad really promise
to take you to Paris?
439
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:21,138
Of course he did... just now.
440
00:22:21,188 --> 00:22:25,738
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