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Previously on Blunt Talk...
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- You've been unclean, Major!
- [groans]
3
00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,385
My dad used to love doing magic tricks.
4
00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:12,719
Why did he stop, the old bastard?
5
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:15,305
- Um, he died.
- Oh.
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00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:18,275
I do miss him still. He
used to teach the piano.
7
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:21,445
SHELLY: He's a hoarder.
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Is that my Queen Elizabeth mug?
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Stay. Please.
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00:00:26,202 --> 00:00:28,452
Okay, but I don't want Walter to see me.
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I'm always afraid of disappointing him.
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00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:32,956
Is Teddy showing signs of dementia?
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00:00:32,958 --> 00:00:35,209
I don't want to watch Teddy
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disappear in frontof my eyes.
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00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:39,463
- I like your top.
- Oh, yeah, we're matching.
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Twinsies. I wish I had your breasts.
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00:00:42,384 --> 00:00:44,334
Ahh. [laughs]
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Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,518
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00:01:22,758 --> 00:01:25,459
Time to wake up, Major.
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Time to wake up.
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[sighs]
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Harry, I had another dream
about a Burt Lancaster movie.
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00:01:40,776 --> 00:01:43,894
This time, he was swimming
and then he had a cocktail.
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00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,896
What do you think that means?
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00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,733
Well, supposedly, sir, everyone
we dream about is really us.
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So Burt Lancaster is actually you, Major.
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00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,404
Oh, I like that.
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00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:57,541
So there must be some
kind of symbolism at play.
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Yes, in the last one he was flying
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and in this one he's swimming.
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I think it means you're
getting somewhere, sir.
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00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,751
But where you're going, I'm not sure.
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00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:10,387
- Right.
- Dad, let's play.
36
00:02:10,389 --> 00:02:11,838
Good morning, Bertie.
37
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,591
[piano playing]
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00:02:40,586 --> 00:02:42,953
The most important thing is not to panic.
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00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:45,622
There could be many reasons
for intermittent brain fog.
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00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,958
I don't like the sound
of intermittent brain fog.
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00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,010
I know, Mr. Winter, but it's very early on
42
00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,595
and we'll do a full battery of tests.
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00:02:51,597 --> 00:02:54,464
It's gonna be all right, Teddy. I know it.
44
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,850
Could I possibly produce
as many erections as I do
45
00:02:56,852 --> 00:02:59,436
having dementia or
Alzheimer's? I don't think so.
46
00:02:59,438 --> 00:03:02,889
Well, how many erections
exactly do you manufacture?
47
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,641
A lot.
48
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:05,809
It's true.
49
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,394
Teddy is wonderfully virile.
50
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,479
- Oh.
- Really?
51
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,981
How often do you two make love?
52
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:16,036
Not every day anymore, but every other day.
53
00:03:16,038 --> 00:03:17,154
That's about right.
54
00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,655
I do masturbate every day, though,
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to keep the prostate invigorated.
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00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,709
Teddy, you're so lucid today.
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Thank you, dear. I think
it's 'cause I'm angry.
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00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,164
[both grunting]
59
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:41,178
[clapping]
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00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:45,732
So, that is how samurai practice.
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00:03:45,734 --> 00:03:49,519
Now, next Friday evening,
all as part of your training,
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I am going to show you Akira
Kurosawa's Seven Samurai.
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00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,076
And maybe even Rashomon.
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00:03:56,078 --> 00:03:59,746
I'm not sure the lad is ready for
Japanese postwar cinema, Major.
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00:03:59,748 --> 00:04:02,616
But it's good to be exposed to art, Harry.
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00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,668
I didn't do enough of that with Rafe.
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00:04:04,670 --> 00:04:06,787
[phone rings]
68
00:04:08,674 --> 00:04:10,123
Yes, Jim?
69
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,042
JIM: Uh, I... I can't come, Walter.
70
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,760
What do you mean you can't come?
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00:04:13,762 --> 00:04:17,547
I just... I kind of have my
hands full right now, Walter.
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00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,016
And it is a Saturday.
73
00:04:19,018 --> 00:04:22,102
You know how important
this speech is to me.
74
00:04:22,104 --> 00:04:24,721
Your father is giving a speech
75
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,524
at a very important university.
76
00:04:27,526 --> 00:04:28,942
Isn't that impressive, son?
77
00:04:30,863 --> 00:04:33,730
Yeah, that is impressive, Dad.
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00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,817
So I need you there,
Jim. This kind of stuff
79
00:04:36,819 --> 00:04:40,821
is all part of me rehabbing
Blunt Talk after my arrest.
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00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:43,540
Hey, and I came to your birthday party.
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00:04:43,542 --> 00:04:45,242
Yeah, well, that was...
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that was in the office kitchen.
83
00:04:52,801 --> 00:04:55,585
Okay, um, I'll be there.
84
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,221
You can count on me. You
know I support you, Walter.
85
00:04:58,223 --> 00:05:00,307
- Thank you, Jim.
- Yeah.
86
00:05:00,309 --> 00:05:03,226
- You want these?
- Yeah, I need those.
87
00:05:03,228 --> 00:05:04,678
When was the last time you used them?
88
00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,098
Um, uh, it was a... a while ago.
89
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,816
No, come on.
90
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Come on.
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00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:18,108
[lift humming]
92
00:05:18,110 --> 00:05:19,943
- Let's go.
- Ready?
93
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,995
Please be careful.
94
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:33,290
I fucking swear to God, Harry,
95
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:35,759
if I have to get out of
this car one more time...
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00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,879
Oh, you're early.
97
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,680
- Are we?
- I have your lecture, Walter.
98
00:05:40,682 --> 00:05:42,599
I made the revisions we talked about
99
00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:44,801
and I added that funny story about
Winston Churchill having piles.
100
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,137
Great. Well, we'll discuss it in the car.
101
00:05:47,139 --> 00:05:49,890
What's going on here? Is that your piano?
102
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,641
Yes. Well, it was.
103
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,143
It belonged to my father,
but I've just sold it.
104
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,611
We should probably get going.
105
00:05:54,613 --> 00:05:56,696
Why did you sell it?
106
00:05:56,698 --> 00:05:59,149
Looks like a very nice piano.
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00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:01,735
Because I, um...
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00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:05,655
well, I... I wanted to pay you back
for helping me with my gambling debts
109
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:06,957
and for the sessions with Dr. Weiss.
110
00:06:06,959 --> 00:06:09,159
Oh, please. Well, for one thing,
111
00:06:09,161 --> 00:06:10,877
Dr. Weiss was my treat
112
00:06:10,879 --> 00:06:13,213
and you don't have to
pay me back so quickly.
113
00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:16,166
You see, Harry? This is what
you've done with your gambling vice.
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00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:17,834
I am trying, Major.
115
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,337
I've given up gambling and
replaced it with knitting.
116
00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:23,340
No, I want you to have the money,
Walter. It's important to me.
117
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,726
All right.
118
00:06:26,728 --> 00:06:29,980
Oh, actually, Walter, could I just
borrow $20 from the money you lent me?
119
00:06:29,982 --> 00:06:33,099
I forgot to tip the men and they just carried
the piano all the way down those stairs.
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00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,235
[whispers] Thank you.
121
00:06:35,237 --> 00:06:37,070
Come on, Harry.
122
00:06:37,072 --> 00:06:38,438
- You're welcome.
- Thank you so much.
123
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,157
All right, let's head out.
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00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:50,250
[sighs] Oh, I can't bear it.
125
00:06:50,252 --> 00:06:52,335
I just have to play it one more time.
126
00:06:52,337 --> 00:06:54,204
Celia.
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00:06:57,092 --> 00:06:58,925
What the hell is she doing?
128
00:07:01,263 --> 00:07:03,930
[playing]
129
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,470
Is that Clair de Lune?
130
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,724
Yes, it is.
131
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:16,810
I love Clair de Lune.
132
00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,229
Every full moon my mother would play it
133
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:22,782
and cry and talk about her menses.
134
00:07:22,784 --> 00:07:24,367
[truck engine starts]
135
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,406
Harry, quick. Get in the
car. Follow that piano.
136
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,962
[continues playing]
137
00:07:39,885 --> 00:07:43,136
So she hopped on this damn
truck, Harry lost them,
138
00:07:43,138 --> 00:07:45,388
and she has my speech.
139
00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:47,307
I couldn't run through a red light, sir.
140
00:07:47,309 --> 00:07:48,475
There were schoolchildren.
141
00:07:48,477 --> 00:07:50,310
I think you could have made it, Harry.
142
00:07:50,312 --> 00:07:52,312
You don't need a speech, Walter.
143
00:07:52,314 --> 00:07:54,931
Just get up there and be yourself.
144
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:57,150
Give them your Davos talk.
145
00:07:57,152 --> 00:07:58,935
Yeah, you're a great bullshitter.
146
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:00,270
Uh, ad-libber.
147
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,239
- Thank you, Jim.
- Yep.
148
00:08:02,241 --> 00:08:04,524
- Are you ready, Mr. Blunt?
- Yes, all good.
149
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,576
[clears throat]
150
00:08:06,578 --> 00:08:10,914
Welcome, everyone, to the
Annenberg School of Communication
151
00:08:10,916 --> 00:08:14,284
and Journalism'sSaturday lecture series.
152
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,921
- I'm so sorry.
- Oh, thank God. Where the hell have you been?
153
00:08:17,923 --> 00:08:20,874
- I got the truck to stop and I got on an Uber.
- Okay.
154
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:23,460
I could easily continue to make much ado,
155
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:26,963
but without further adieu,
right here, right now,
156
00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:28,882
Walter Blunt.
157
00:08:30,936 --> 00:08:34,137
Thank you so much. Thank you.
158
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,440
Good afternoon and thank you
so much for this invitation.
159
00:08:37,442 --> 00:08:40,226
It gives me great pleasure to be standing
160
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:43,530
in front of so many aspiring journalists.
161
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,617
"So there are these two young fish
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00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:49,486
swimming in the ocean
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when they come across an older fish
164
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,907
swimming in the opposite direction.
165
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:57,243
He nods at them and says,
'Good morning. How's the water?'
166
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,579
The two young fishcontinue swimming
167
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:03,216
until one turns and says,
'What the hell is water?'"
168
00:09:03,218 --> 00:09:06,002
Uh, that's David Foster Wallace's speech.
169
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:08,338
Uh... Those were my notes. I screwed up.
170
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,007
Why were you plagiarizing
David Foster Wallace?
171
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:14,010
Plagiarize? That's really
rather rude, young man.
172
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,312
You didn't answermy question.
173
00:09:15,314 --> 00:09:18,014
I asked you why you were reading
174
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,350
David Foster Wallace's speech to Kenyon.
175
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,519
- Kenya?
- No, not Kenya.
176
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:25,905
Kenyon College. Do you even
know who David Foster Wallace is?
177
00:09:25,907 --> 00:09:27,991
He's my favorite writer
of all time. All time.
178
00:09:27,993 --> 00:09:30,026
Of course I know who he is.
179
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,196
And I've even read one of his books...
A Confederacy of Dunces.
180
00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:35,665
A Confederacy of Dunces
is written by John Kennedy Toole.
181
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:38,034
David Foster Wallace
wrote Infinite Jest.
182
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:41,588
Yes, well, there is a certain
similarity in the themes of the titles.
183
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:44,374
Dunces, jesters. Both the
authors have three names.
184
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,209
- Oh, my God.
- [Walter laughs]
185
00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:49,379
You must understand this has
just been an unfortunate mistake.
186
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:52,349
No, but had I not stopped
you... damn it, Garret...
187
00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:55,218
had I not stopped you, you
would have kept going, right?
188
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:57,220
[sighs] You have no
respect for the dead.
189
00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,906
Plagiarist. J'accuse.
190
00:10:00,026 --> 00:10:02,442
_
191
00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:05,474
_
192
00:10:06,361 --> 00:10:08,633
_
193
00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,667
_
194
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:16,489
I'm being crucified on the Internet, Harry.
195
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,658
I had no idea this Wallace chap
196
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,294
was so popular with the intelligentsia.
197
00:10:21,296 --> 00:10:23,129
I mean, why haven't you read him to me?
198
00:10:23,131 --> 00:10:26,750
I try very hard to keep you current, Major,
199
00:10:26,752 --> 00:10:30,503
but you doze off five minutes
into anything postmodern.
200
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,473
Oh, this is absurd.
201
00:10:33,475 --> 00:10:36,593
If Celia hadn't gone
running off after her piano,
202
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,261
none of this would have happened.
203
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:41,097
It's all very unfortunate, sir.
204
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,982
I'm sure it will blow over.
205
00:10:42,984 --> 00:10:44,684
Oh, yes, you're right.
206
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:48,605
It's a brief Internet imbroglio.
207
00:10:48,607 --> 00:10:52,525
Lord, I read two sentences
of that man's speech
208
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,611
and I'm being accused of plagiarism.
209
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:56,780
- It's ridiculous!
- Yes, sir.
210
00:10:56,782 --> 00:11:01,751
Even so, Celia has been behaving
somewhat erratically of late.
211
00:11:01,753 --> 00:11:04,421
I mean, gambling, promiscuity,
212
00:11:04,423 --> 00:11:06,623
that magician chap and Rafe.
213
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:10,376
Two gents do not qualify
as promiscuity, sir,
214
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:14,214
especially compared to what I've written
in the logbook about you over the years.
215
00:11:14,216 --> 00:11:16,800
Oh, that's true.
216
00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:19,135
Even so, I think she is troubled.
217
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,721
Perhaps even more troubled than Jim.
218
00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:26,059
I would argue, sir, that of the two,
219
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,394
Jim is the more troubled.
220
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,364
221
00:11:31,366 --> 00:11:33,616
[phone chiming]
222
00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,326
[chiming continues]
223
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,629
Hey, what's up?
224
00:11:48,667 --> 00:11:50,633
Here?
225
00:11:50,635 --> 00:11:52,669
Really?
226
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:54,838
Yeah, sure. Come on over.
227
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,557
228
00:12:07,235 --> 00:12:09,235
[groans]
229
00:12:17,329 --> 00:12:20,196
So when are they coming
to start cleaning you out?
230
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:21,865
Um...
231
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,783
they came.
232
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:26,586
Uh, so have you heard from Walter?
233
00:12:26,588 --> 00:12:29,839
[sighs] I emailed him a long
apology and he hasn't written back.
234
00:12:29,841 --> 00:12:31,875
I can't bear to have him angry with me.
235
00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:34,210
It'll pass. I promise.
236
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,712
He's very forgiving.
237
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,714
I almost gave him an overdose
238
00:12:37,716 --> 00:12:39,432
and now he calls me his son.
239
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:41,718
You know, I met Walter
when I was 12 years old.
240
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,553
What? How is that possible?
241
00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:47,557
He came to my school to
judge an essay contest
242
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,860
and he chose mine as the prizewinner.
243
00:12:50,862 --> 00:12:54,280
- Hmm.
- It was about apartheid.
244
00:12:54,282 --> 00:12:56,449
- You were against it?
- Of course.
245
00:12:56,451 --> 00:12:58,701
Yeah.
246
00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:00,737
Well, does Walter know about this?
247
00:13:00,739 --> 00:13:02,405
No, I never told him.
248
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:04,958
My dad died about a
month before I met Walter,
249
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,911
and it was like everything was black
250
00:13:07,913 --> 00:13:10,213
and my eyes were closed all the time.
251
00:13:10,215 --> 00:13:13,716
And this famous man, this war hero,
252
00:13:13,718 --> 00:13:16,252
comes and chooses my essay
253
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,921
and puts his hand on my
shoulder for a picture
254
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,974
and the world wasn't black anymore.
255
00:13:20,976 --> 00:13:22,642
You really should tell Walter.
256
00:13:22,644 --> 00:13:25,728
No, I'll seem like a stalker.
257
00:13:25,730 --> 00:13:28,982
I've been sort of
following him for 25 years.
258
00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:30,600
That is a long time.
259
00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,652
You can't tell anyone what a freak I am.
260
00:13:32,654 --> 00:13:35,772
- Do you promise?
- I promise. I'll never tell anyone.
261
00:13:35,774 --> 00:13:39,993
Also, you should know,
I don't judge freaks.
262
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:43,496
I mean, I judge me,
263
00:13:43,498 --> 00:13:46,366
but I don't judge you.
264
00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,280
Bronson is upset.
265
00:13:54,282 --> 00:13:56,166
They had a meeting in New York.
266
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:59,753
It was just a talk at a college, Bob.
267
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:03,373
And the Internet has
turned me into a plagiarist
268
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:06,176
through innuendo and misinformation.
269
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,345
- God.
- It's just like the Dreyfus affair.
270
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,046
Richard Dreyfuss is having an affair?
271
00:14:10,048 --> 00:14:13,600
No, the Dreyfus affair.
Paris, 19th century.
272
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,352
Whatever. Bronson read
The Huffington Post
273
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,720
and he wants you to release a statement.
274
00:14:16,722 --> 00:14:19,389
What is ironic is that the
speech I eventually gave
275
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:23,360
was about how the Internet is
destroying verifiable journalism.
276
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,562
Newspapers are dead and we're next.
277
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:27,697
- Don't say that.
- Well, you know it's true.
278
00:14:27,699 --> 00:14:31,401
And I am running out of
time to get my message across
279
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,120
instead of having to
deal with this bullshit!
280
00:14:34,122 --> 00:14:37,791
Everything will be okay. This
will blow over, I know it.
281
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:41,244
But he's being ridiculed
and it's all my fault.
282
00:14:41,246 --> 00:14:44,414
Yeah, it is. But it's... it's okay.
283
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:47,167
We all support you, Celia. I support you.
284
00:14:47,169 --> 00:14:49,586
[sighs] Thanks, Shelly.
285
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,087
It's just a little bit to the right.
286
00:14:51,089 --> 00:14:52,756
Oh, sure.
287
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,507
Mmm.
288
00:14:54,509 --> 00:14:58,561
Oh, that feels so chocolaty.
289
00:14:58,563 --> 00:15:00,480
Mmm.
290
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:03,266
You know, I had a dream
about you last night.
291
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,403
We were wearing the same top again
292
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,105
and I was unlocking my bike
293
00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:12,325
and suddenly we were kissing.
294
00:15:12,327 --> 00:15:15,111
- Oh, that's funny.
- Yeah.
295
00:15:15,113 --> 00:15:17,697
I guess because of your
problems with Walter,
296
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:20,533
I was trying in my dream to comfort you.
297
00:15:20,535 --> 00:15:23,286
- Mmm.
- Also I used to be bisexual.
298
00:15:23,288 --> 00:15:26,623
- Oh.
- Yeah, in college.
299
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:28,625
And I think I miss it.
300
00:15:30,178 --> 00:15:33,513
'Cause I can't cum with men.
301
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,265
Oh, dear.
302
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:38,935
Yeah, but with girls, it was always easy.
303
00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:41,805
I was less self-conscious, you know?
304
00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,691
Or, you know, orgasms can be elusive.
305
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,777
Sometimes just a hot bath can be nice.
306
00:15:47,779 --> 00:15:50,730
When I woke up this morning,
307
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:53,650
I was sad that it was just a dream.
308
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,201
Mmm.
309
00:15:55,203 --> 00:15:58,705
So, yoo-hoo.
310
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,623
Should we kiss right now?
311
00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:02,826
Shelly, you're making
me very uncomfortable.
312
00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:04,994
You know that I have porous boundaries.
313
00:16:04,996 --> 00:16:09,382
Just a little kiss before we start working.
314
00:16:09,384 --> 00:16:11,417
Like a cup of coffee.
315
00:16:11,419 --> 00:16:14,304
Teddy was lucid on Saturday
316
00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,638
when we were at the doctor,
317
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:20,260
but then on Sunday he was confused again.
318
00:16:20,262 --> 00:16:22,679
I've had to take away his car keys.
319
00:16:22,681 --> 00:16:25,265
Oh, that sounds really hard, Rosalie.
320
00:16:25,267 --> 00:16:27,433
I wish I could help you somehow.
321
00:16:27,435 --> 00:16:31,488
You do by listening to me.
322
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:34,023
I really value our friendship.
323
00:16:34,025 --> 00:16:35,909
Me, too.
324
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:39,529
But sometimes I just... I feel so confused.
325
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:43,449
You know, not... not about
us, but about everything.
326
00:16:43,451 --> 00:16:47,203
My life. I'm going to be 28 soon.
327
00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:49,672
28.
328
00:16:49,674 --> 00:16:52,292
Martin, I want you to know
that I don't want to put
329
00:16:52,294 --> 00:16:54,294
any restrictions on you.
330
00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:56,462
You're young and need to feel free.
331
00:16:56,464 --> 00:16:58,882
I know. I mean, I don't have a Teddy,
332
00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:01,601
but I have other special friends.
333
00:17:03,054 --> 00:17:04,888
You do?
334
00:17:06,858 --> 00:17:08,808
Jim, I just came from Gardner's office.
335
00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:12,362
We have to release a statement
about this Foster Wallace debacle.
336
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,514
- Ah, shit.
- Yes.
337
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:17,400
I'm an innocent man who has
to declare his innocence.
338
00:17:17,402 --> 00:17:20,904
So let's get Celia and craft
something really strong.
339
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,539
I'll get you your coffee, sir.
340
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,907
Uh, Walter?
341
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:26,576
Celia feels really terrible
about what happened.
342
00:17:26,578 --> 00:17:28,411
Well, she should.
343
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,917
Celia! Shelly!
344
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:35,501
What the hell are you two doing?
345
00:17:35,503 --> 00:17:37,554
It's only 9:30 in the morning.
346
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,055
No, it's not what it looks like.
347
00:17:39,057 --> 00:17:41,424
Shelly had a dream and
I can't say no. [scoffs]
348
00:17:41,426 --> 00:17:44,010
Celia, you have turned
your office into a boudoir.
349
00:17:44,012 --> 00:17:46,429
I have not turned my office into a boudoir.
350
00:17:54,689 --> 00:17:56,940
Who kisses so early in the morning?
351
00:17:56,942 --> 00:18:00,777
Major, Vivian and Bertie are down
in the lobby and on their way up.
352
00:18:00,779 --> 00:18:02,946
What? Why?
353
00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:05,531
There's been some kind
of trouble at the school.
354
00:18:05,533 --> 00:18:07,951
A boy told Bertie you
copied someone's homework
355
00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:09,452
and Bertie struck the lad.
356
00:18:09,454 --> 00:18:12,088
Oh, my God.
357
00:18:12,090 --> 00:18:16,009
This plagiarism fiasco has
even reached a preschool.
358
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,044
He's only been suspended for today,
359
00:18:18,046 --> 00:18:20,930
but if he misbehaves like this
again, Walter, it won't be good.
360
00:18:20,932 --> 00:18:22,548
He can even be kicked out.
361
00:18:22,550 --> 00:18:24,968
- Kicked out of preschool?
- BERTIE: No, no!
362
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,520
Children roughhouse. It's part of life.
363
00:18:27,522 --> 00:18:30,807
Not at Westlake. It's
postracial and gender-neutral.
364
00:18:30,809 --> 00:18:33,643
You know that. Bertie
shouldn't have hit that boy.
365
00:18:33,645 --> 00:18:35,561
He's never been violent before.
366
00:18:35,563 --> 00:18:37,780
I fault the parents of the child he hit.
367
00:18:37,782 --> 00:18:39,532
They should not have been talking about me.
368
00:18:39,534 --> 00:18:42,035
I am proud of Bertie. He defended my honor.
369
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,987
No, you cannot encourage
that sort of thing.
370
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,155
He told that boy he hit
that he was a samurai.
371
00:18:46,157 --> 00:18:47,991
He said that?
372
00:18:47,993 --> 00:18:49,659
Did you show him a
violent movie or something?
373
00:18:49,661 --> 00:18:51,494
- Of course not.
- Uh-huh.
374
00:18:51,496 --> 00:18:53,579
Listen, Vivian, um...
375
00:18:53,581 --> 00:18:54,998
I have a lot of work.
376
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,966
Can I come around this evening
377
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:59,752
and then I can talk to Bertie
properly about all of this?
378
00:18:59,754 --> 00:19:02,005
- BERTIE: Faster!
- Oh, I win!
379
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:03,890
Banzai!
380
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:09,178
Okay, we need to draft a statement.
381
00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:11,180
First of all, I'm so sorry.
382
00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:13,733
I don't need apologies,
Celia, I need ideas.
383
00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,569
Well, I was thinking that in
addition to your statement,
384
00:19:16,571 --> 00:19:17,904
you should tackle this head-on.
385
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:20,189
You gave a great speech,
but the blogosphere
386
00:19:20,191 --> 00:19:22,692
hijacked your message
with this phony accusation.
387
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:23,450
What are you suggesting?
388
00:19:23,570 --> 00:19:26,029
Well, I've contacted the chief media writer
389
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,197
at the LA Times and put
him on hold for this evening.
390
00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:31,501
And you can discuss with him
how your stoning on the Internet
391
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,586
is an example of what you
warned about in your speech.
392
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,621
Rosalie, Jim, what do you two think?
393
00:19:35,623 --> 00:19:37,674
- I think it's strong.
- Me, too.
394
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,759
- Excellent approach, Celia.
- Thank you, Walter.
395
00:19:39,761 --> 00:19:42,011
But I have something else on my mind.
396
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:44,180
I am not a prude, as you all know,
397
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:48,267
but I think people should stop using
their offices for sexual encounters.
398
00:19:48,269 --> 00:19:50,887
I mean, you allwork very hard,
399
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:53,856
but there are other ways to relieve stress.
400
00:19:53,858 --> 00:19:56,976
- Masturbation.
- Not during business hours.
401
00:19:56,978 --> 00:20:00,646
What about affection and spooning?
402
00:20:00,648 --> 00:20:03,232
That can still go on within reason.
403
00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:05,201
What about towel whipping, Major?
404
00:20:05,203 --> 00:20:06,953
That's not sexual, Harry.
405
00:20:06,955 --> 00:20:09,072
It's not?
406
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:14,577
So are you and Shelly a couple now?
407
00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:16,746
No, I was trying to help her.
408
00:20:16,748 --> 00:20:19,632
- She missed being bisexual.
- WALTER: Welcome back.
409
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:22,752
We are here with media writer David Frisch
410
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:27,673
of the Los Angeles Times to
discuss the events surrounding me
411
00:20:27,675 --> 00:20:29,258
in the last 48 hours,
412
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:32,979
which is a perfect example
of the kind of lynchings
413
00:20:32,981 --> 00:20:37,016
the Internet favors over
real, fact-based journalism.
414
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,601
Welcome to Blunt Talk, David.
415
00:20:38,603 --> 00:20:40,153
Thank you, I'm very happy to be here.
416
00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:42,605
- Last weekend I gave a speech...
- Yeah.
417
00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:45,274
At the Annenberg School of Journalism
418
00:20:45,276 --> 00:20:49,996
and by mistake one of my assistants
gave me her research notes
419
00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:53,616
instead of the lecture we
had been working on together.
420
00:20:53,618 --> 00:20:56,285
Yes, I read your statement
on the matter, and...
421
00:20:56,287 --> 00:20:59,622
you may or may not be aware of it,
but there were two grammatical errors.
422
00:20:59,624 --> 00:21:02,258
Well, so much for the
British educational system.
423
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,093
[both laugh]
424
00:21:04,095 --> 00:21:06,796
Anyway, included in her notes
425
00:21:06,798 --> 00:21:09,849
was David Foster Wallace's wonderful speech
426
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:14,353
given at Kenyon College, and
by mistake I began to read it.
427
00:21:14,355 --> 00:21:17,723
Now, clearly, I would never plagiarize
428
00:21:17,725 --> 00:21:20,860
a well-known speech given
by such an eminent writer.
429
00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,362
But the Internet decided...
430
00:21:23,364 --> 00:21:26,232
So you're... you're saying
that you would never plagiarize
431
00:21:26,234 --> 00:21:29,152
- because you yourself are a published author?
- Exactly.
432
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:31,070
And, you know, to prepare
for this interview,
433
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:33,873
I read your book A Soldier's Lament
434
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:36,876
and, uh, I found a passage in
it that I think is very relevant
435
00:21:36,878 --> 00:21:39,295
to this discussion. Do you mind?
436
00:21:39,297 --> 00:21:42,915
Well, I can't imagine I touched
much on the Internet 30 years ago,
437
00:21:42,917 --> 00:21:44,300
but, no, please, go ahead.
438
00:21:44,302 --> 00:21:48,254
"In war our elders may give the orders,
439
00:21:48,256 --> 00:21:50,173
but it is the young who have to fight.
440
00:21:50,175 --> 00:21:54,177
It is the young soldier whomust bear the deepest wounds
441
00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:56,846
and scars of war."
442
00:21:56,848 --> 00:21:58,815
Do you remember writing this?
443
00:21:58,817 --> 00:22:00,817
Actually, no, I don't.
444
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,436
Though these are sentiments
that I stand by today.
445
00:22:03,438 --> 00:22:05,988
You don't remember writing this
446
00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:09,158
- because you didn't write this.
- I'm sorry?
447
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,829
These words were lifted and combined
from General Douglas MacArthur
448
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:15,781
and T.H. White, the author of
The Once and Future King.
449
00:22:15,783 --> 00:22:19,418
Well, I have never read
anything of General MacArthur,
450
00:22:19,420 --> 00:22:21,838
though T.H. White is one
of my favorite authors.
451
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,873
Oh, is that why you
chose to steal from him?
452
00:22:23,875 --> 00:22:26,175
WALTER: What are you doing?
453
00:22:26,177 --> 00:22:28,044
Are you another one of those
454
00:22:28,046 --> 00:22:30,847
jumping on the social
media merry-go-round
455
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,765
hoping to make a name for
yourself at my expense?
456
00:22:32,767 --> 00:22:35,268
[laughs] No, I am merely practicing
457
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:37,220
the thing that you just said was dying...
458
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:39,388
fact-based journalism.
459
00:22:39,390 --> 00:22:42,058
And you can read all about
it later on my Tumblr.
460
00:22:42,060 --> 00:22:44,060
Well, of course that explains everything.
461
00:22:44,062 --> 00:22:47,196
Look, if I combined the
words of General MacArthur
462
00:22:47,198 --> 00:22:49,815
and T.H. White over 30 years ago,
463
00:22:49,817 --> 00:22:52,034
- I did so unwittingly.
- So you're saying you did it.
464
00:22:52,036 --> 00:22:53,870
- Thank you, Mr. Frisch.
- That's news.
465
00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,821
You can return to your pleasant pastime
466
00:22:55,823 --> 00:22:58,541
of castrating writers who
have more to say than you do.
467
00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,326
We'll be right back after this.
468
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,831
You, sir, can go fuck yourself!
469
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:08,885
It was your idea, Celia,
having him on the show.
470
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:11,554
He sandbagged me. You
didn't vet him properly.
471
00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:15,474
Walter, it's not a fuck-up.
You handled him beautifully.
472
00:23:15,476 --> 00:23:17,426
I loved the castration line.
473
00:23:17,428 --> 00:23:18,928
- Really?
- Yeah, me, too. It was great.
474
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:20,479
Yeah, you really nailed that jerk.
475
00:23:20,481 --> 00:23:22,765
- Really?
- Walter, I'm so sorry we brought him on.
476
00:23:22,767 --> 00:23:23,767
I can't believe this happened.
477
00:23:23,887 --> 00:23:25,637
Well, I can believe it, Celia.
478
00:23:25,639 --> 00:23:28,423
You have been unfocused and
out of control for weeks.
479
00:23:28,425 --> 00:23:30,141
Weeks? It's just a couple of days.
480
00:23:30,143 --> 00:23:32,010
Dr. Weiss hasn't helped at all.
481
00:23:32,012 --> 00:23:34,062
I am very disappointed in you.
482
00:23:34,064 --> 00:23:35,999
- Disappointed?
- Yes.
483
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:38,762
I mean I... I never know
what's going on with you.
484
00:23:38,882 --> 00:23:40,053
Sir, don't say that.
485
00:23:40,344 --> 00:23:42,344
She hates to disappoint you.
486
00:23:42,641 --> 00:23:44,872
She's loved since she was twelve.
487
00:23:44,992 --> 00:23:48,076
Jim! I can't believe...
488
00:23:48,078 --> 00:23:50,745
and if you are disappointed
and you want to fire me,
489
00:23:50,747 --> 00:23:52,581
then don't worry because I quit.
490
00:23:52,583 --> 00:23:54,249
I quit Blunt Talk.
491
00:23:54,251 --> 00:23:57,002
- Celia!
- Celia!
492
00:23:57,004 --> 00:23:59,588
Both of you just leave me alone.
493
00:24:01,291 --> 00:24:03,625
494
00:24:09,933 --> 00:24:12,133
That boy was mean about you.
495
00:24:12,135 --> 00:24:14,135
I know, Bertie. I know.
496
00:24:14,137 --> 00:24:18,690
But the thing in life is to try to be kind.
497
00:24:18,692 --> 00:24:21,109
You know, Shakespeare said,
498
00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:24,779
"Love all, do wrong to none."
499
00:24:24,781 --> 00:24:27,148
- Shakespeare?
- Yes.
500
00:24:27,150 --> 00:24:29,868
Now, do you think you can be kind
501
00:24:29,870 --> 00:24:31,736
to the silly boy who was mean?
502
00:24:31,738 --> 00:24:34,072
- Mm-hmm.
- And no more hitting.
503
00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:36,157
- Okay.
- Good.
504
00:24:36,159 --> 00:24:37,742
But now it's time for sleep.
505
00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:39,160
Okay.
506
00:24:39,162 --> 00:24:40,996
[chuckles]
507
00:24:42,716 --> 00:24:44,633
[footsteps approach]
508
00:24:44,635 --> 00:24:47,969
I thought you should see this, sir.
509
00:24:47,971 --> 00:24:50,138
Found it in the scrapbooks.
510
00:24:56,930 --> 00:24:58,146
Oh, Lord.
511
00:24:58,148 --> 00:24:59,898
HARRY: Jim was right.
512
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:02,350
Celia has been following yousince she was a child.
513
00:25:02,352 --> 00:25:05,070
We've got to get her back, Harry.
514
00:25:05,072 --> 00:25:08,323
Yes, Major.
515
00:25:08,325 --> 00:25:10,075
[panting] Hey, whoa, whoa...
516
00:25:10,077 --> 00:25:12,946
[groaning] [grunting]
517
00:25:13,066 --> 00:25:17,032
You've got this all wrong, Harry.
This is no way to carry a piano.
518
00:25:17,034 --> 00:25:19,200
Well, how should we carry it then, sir?
519
00:25:19,202 --> 00:25:20,919
I didn't know you were an expert.
520
00:25:20,921 --> 00:25:22,671
I am not an expert, Harry,
521
00:25:22,673 --> 00:25:24,172
but I know more than you.
522
00:25:24,174 --> 00:25:27,375
Yeah, you know more about complaining.
523
00:25:27,377 --> 00:25:30,211
Harry, I don't like your insolence.
524
00:25:30,213 --> 00:25:32,047
I don't like yours, sir.
525
00:25:32,049 --> 00:25:33,381
Yeah, careful. Careful!
526
00:25:34,885 --> 00:25:37,302
[groaning, shouting]
527
00:25:37,304 --> 00:25:38,720
Look what you made me do!
528
00:25:38,722 --> 00:25:40,221
That was not my fault.
529
00:25:42,809 --> 00:25:44,859
[moans]
530
00:25:44,861 --> 00:25:46,277
- Jim?
- Jim.
531
00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:49,814
- [groaning]
- Jim. Oh, my God.
532
00:25:49,816 --> 00:25:50,949
You all right, Jim?
533
00:25:50,951 --> 00:25:52,984
Steady now. That's it.
534
00:25:52,986 --> 00:25:54,452
Easy as she goes.
535
00:25:58,792 --> 00:26:01,493
I...
536
00:26:01,495 --> 00:26:04,996
I was in the wrong. I lost my temper.
537
00:26:04,998 --> 00:26:06,881
Do you think you can forgive me?
538
00:26:06,883 --> 00:26:08,917
You had your reasons, Walter.
539
00:26:08,919 --> 00:26:12,253
I've let too much of the confusion
in my mind leak out at work.
540
00:26:12,255 --> 00:26:15,840
You see, what you need
to do is compartmentalize.
541
00:26:15,842 --> 00:26:19,094
That's what people who are
talented and disturbed do.
542
00:26:19,096 --> 00:26:21,062
- That's what I do.
- Right.
543
00:26:21,064 --> 00:26:24,149
But I think part of my problem
544
00:26:24,151 --> 00:26:27,685
is that I've always
put women on a pedestal.
545
00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:30,405
I was a mother's boy.
546
00:26:30,407 --> 00:26:32,774
I expect women to be perfect.
547
00:26:32,776 --> 00:26:34,442
And that's not fair.
548
00:26:36,113 --> 00:26:39,293
- I've been too hard on you.
- Yeah. Well, I understand.
549
00:26:40,547 --> 00:26:43,256
I've put you on a pedestal
for a very long time.
550
00:26:44,474 --> 00:26:46,349
- Am I still there?
- Yes.
551
00:26:46,949 --> 00:26:49,804
Sometimes you get off it, but
then you always get back on.
552
00:26:50,211 --> 00:26:51,960
[sighs]
553
00:26:58,101 --> 00:27:00,351
Look at those two silly buggers
down there
554
00:27:00,353 --> 00:27:01,886
trying to repair that piano.
555
00:27:01,888 --> 00:27:04,457
[grunting] [notes playing]
556
00:27:04,577 --> 00:27:06,784
Synced and corrected by OussLP
- www.addic7ed.com
557
00:27:07,112 --> 00:27:08,443
[piano playing]
558
00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:13,043
Repair and Synchronization by
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