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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:21,980 Boss. Do you know what's going on? 2 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,020 100 soldiers... 3 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:29,470 .. are running about. 4 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,870 Do you need more detail than that? 5 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,630 Why are you so perky? 6 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,950 Well, when you've had a kid, 0500 feels like a lie-in. 7 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,310 Don't know why we have to clear compounds at 5am. 8 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,430 You know the drill - it's a time of our own choosing. 9 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:45,110 Not a time of my choosing. 10 00:00:45,160 --> 00:00:47,390 I'd chose tea-time. 11 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,670 After a wank and a scone. 12 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:52,950 Boss, I know you went to boarding school 13 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,800 but that's not what a cream tea is. 14 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,400 HE KNOCKS 15 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,190 Tired, boss? Been up all night reading? 16 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:40,310 You what? 17 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,030 The books I lent you. 18 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,080 The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo trilogy. 19 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,710 Enjoying them? 20 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,990 I'm enjoying not having bothered to read them, 21 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,590 despite your continual insistence that I should. 22 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,350 Right. Can I have them back then? 23 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:55,940 What, now? 24 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:00,360 We're on an operation, ya knob. 25 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,070 He's in one of his moods. 26 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,150 Shite. We need him sharp for the pub quiz tonight. 27 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,990 We have got to win tonight! 28 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:18,190 Cos then we get to keep the Goblet of Ultimate Knowledge! 29 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,630 He hasn't been himself since Mary left. 30 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:23,350 Yeah. He just called me a knob. 31 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,950 But that's normal, Simon. 32 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:28,390 It was the way that he did it. With real contempt. 33 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,150 But that's normal, Simon. 34 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,870 ATO! ATO! 35 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,230 Boss! Boss! 36 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,550 Cat A! Head high tripwire. Room five. 37 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,880 Another day, another unfucking. 38 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,880 Tatty bye, darlings. 39 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,140 And Simon. 40 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,230 HEAVY BREATHING 41 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,070 Where the fuck is he? Where the fuck is he? 42 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,460 Wait, don't get too close! 43 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,830 Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm going to die! 44 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,670 OK, everyone, calm the fuck down. 45 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:05,990 There's a fucking tripwire! 46 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,990 Yes. Breathe. 47 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,640 I'm the ATO, this is what I do. 48 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,510 OK, you two, out! 49 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,400 Me and Mr Pissy Pants here need some privacy. 50 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,590 What's your name, Private? 51 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:43,680 Alderton, sir. Pete. Pete. Pete. 52 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,550 Listen, Pete. 53 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,630 You're going to be just fine. 54 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,030 But you will shit yourself every time you hang up the washing. 55 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,550 HE MOANS OK, now, Pete, 56 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:10,630 I need you to keep... your head... still. 57 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:14,390 ~ Yeah. ~ Don't nod. Don't nod. 58 00:04:14,440 --> 00:04:16,040 This wall... 59 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,920 It's full of explosives. 60 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,830 So don't move your fucking head. 61 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,390 I'm going to let go as I have to gag the peg. 62 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,920 Oh. 63 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,080 No! No, no, no. 64 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,600 Let's just... we'll do it this way. Yeah? 65 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:53,980 Oh, Pete, you are making this really difficult. 66 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,190 Maybe we'll finally get a round on genital deformities? 67 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:03,750 OK, OK. What's it called if you've got three balls? 68 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,310 Freaky fucking shit? 69 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,950 The medical name. 70 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,030 Medics would call that freaky fucking shit. 71 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,950 This is not helping. We need... 72 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,240 EXPLOSION 73 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,030 It's Private Alderton. Wait! 74 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,230 ~ And Nick! ~ Shit! 75 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,470 ~ Fucking hell! ~ You stupid bastard! 76 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,830 OK, you need to go in. What's your threat assessment? 77 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,670 ~ The route is clear. I'm going in. ~ OK. Go, go, go! 78 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,160 Whisky 54 Bravo, this is Bluestone 42 number 2's on his way in. 79 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,510 Come over here. Now drop that. 80 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,560 I need you to focus. 81 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:49,420 OK, hold that. 82 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,000 Boss! Boss! 83 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,870 Oh, you stupid, stupid bastard! 84 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,510 I didn't fuck up. 85 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:59,600 What? What happened? 86 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,550 I didn't fuck up. 87 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:07,150 ~ Boss! ~ Get back! ~ Boss! 88 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,270 Putting in an airway. 89 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:13,120 Hello, Zero Bravo, this is Charlie One Alpha. MISTAT Over. 90 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:22,520 Charlie One Alpha, Zap Number Mike Echo 1828. Mike. IED 1460... 91 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,200 Sierra, Alpha... 92 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,150 Nick! 93 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,230 ~ Is he all right? ~ What do you fucking think? 94 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:37,470 OK, OK! Did he say anything? 95 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,190 "I didn't fuck up." 96 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,640 That's not how it bloody looks though, is it? 97 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,750 We're being stood down. 98 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,070 Fuck! 99 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,830 Sir, any news? 100 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,990 Just heard from Bastion, he's still critical, I'm afraid. 101 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,790 You're offline for 48 hours to see the Padre. 102 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,910 Simon, Bird, get his kit packed up. 103 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,590 Towerblock, the SAT is inbound. He'll want a full report. 104 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,790 Mac, Rocket, bone up on your trivia, ready for the quiz. 105 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,230 It's still on, sir? With Nick in hospital? 106 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,670 Of course. The questions are sitting on my desk. 107 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,150 I presume you want to win the Goblet of Ultimate Knowledge 108 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,150 once and for all, fair and square? 109 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,750 Nick would have liked that. 110 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,150 Aye. 111 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,870 We will win that cup fair and squ... 112 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:53,590 ~ We will win the cup. ~ Good. 113 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,590 So quiz tonight. Five rounds of questions which are, 114 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,390 as I say, on my desk. 115 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,910 Carry on. 116 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,270 Thanks, Padre. 117 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,310 So you've been working together for a while now. 118 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,030 I expect you've grown quite close? 119 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,110 Yes, very. 120 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,760 I liked him. 121 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:19,430 Not sure he liked me. 122 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,430 And he was quite rude to me. 123 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,030 ~ So not close at all, really. ~ I see. 124 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:26,990 No, he was a good ATO, 125 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,990 but if you lent him, say, a book, 126 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,870 or a trilogy of books, you wouldn't get them back. 127 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,920 Sorry, no, this is no time to speak ill of the... 128 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:44,070 Actually, do we... is he... Do we know, is he...? 129 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,430 Still critical as far as I know. 130 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,670 Good. I mean not good. 131 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,510 Good. I mean, good as in... 132 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,840 It's good that he's not... you know. 133 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:57,630 ~ Sweetie? ~ Please! 134 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,510 Corporal House. 135 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,550 SAT. Sir. Sorry. 136 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,750 I was miles away. 137 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,150 Call me Mike. This is the WISWO, Edgeways. 138 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:14,550 Edgeways, Corporal House. 139 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,950 Edgeways? 140 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,870 Cos he can't get a word in edgeways. 141 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,870 Is there any word from Bastion? 142 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:25,670 Well, Sheffield Wednesday got stuffed 3-0, 143 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,790 but I suppose you're not asking about that. 144 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,040 Nick's still in theatre. 145 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:33,590 So we'll need a first look report today, 146 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,390 and then a full report in a couple of days. 147 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:37,670 But I haven't... 148 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,510 I know this is your first one, so I'll hold your hand through it. 149 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,230 But not like that, I'm not a Marine. 150 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,480 So let's start with the layout of the room. 151 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,070 Well, he must have fucked up, mustn't he? 152 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:55,470 He cuts corners. 153 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,870 He's not been himself for the last few weeks. He... 154 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,400 Yeah, he probably thought, "Sod it, I'll just not bother today, ey?" 155 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,670 We don't let the cowboys become operators. 156 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,350 Except Edgeways, fucking chancer! 157 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,230 Sometimes it's just back luck. 158 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,390 It can't just be random. 159 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,910 I want to be an operator not play Russian Roulette. 160 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,230 He must've done something... 161 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,430 Well, deal with this incident like an operator. 162 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,150 And that'll be a big tick in the box. 163 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,750 Or you can deal with it like a daft twat. 164 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,310 And that'll be a tick in the box marked 'daft twat'. 165 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,260 So, do the plan. And then we'll get the witnesses in. 166 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,750 We need the quiz questions. 167 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:44,030 You want quiz questions? Afghan version of Trivial Pursuit. 168 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:47,030 Fun for all the family. Except the women, of course. 169 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,750 We need the actual questions, Faruq. 170 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,350 Ah! 171 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:55,790 Didn't the Colonel say that he'd left the questions on his desk? 172 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,140 I think he's just made a very silly mistake. 173 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,150 Yeah. Great. Stick it with the others. 174 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,950 Bird. Go and see the Padre. 175 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,150 Fuck off! 176 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,590 I'm not having some sky pilot telling me that this 177 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,710 ~ was "all part of God's plan." ~ You must be feeling that every... 178 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:17,790 I don't know how I'm feeling! So how'd you know? 179 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,110 Fine. 180 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,750 So who are we going to get? 181 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,310 New ATO, I mean. 182 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,550 Bloody hell, Bird, you move on quick! 183 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:30,630 Nick's not even cold in his... hos-hospital bed. 184 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,230 Wow, and I move on quick? 185 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,910 People get replaced, Simon. The Army's kind of set up for that. 186 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,110 Well, at times like this I think Nick would want us to... 187 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,830 Oh, brilliant! My book! 188 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,480 Oh, well, one of them at least. 189 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,000 Fuck's sake. 190 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,550 He's ruined it! 191 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,070 No respect. 192 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:58,000 Yeah, let's focus on the real tragedy of today. Your book. 193 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,360 JAUNTY MUSIC 194 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,220 What's it say? 195 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,860 It's a to-do list. 196 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,070 One - wash socks. 197 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,870 Two - place quiz questions in safe. 198 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:01,710 Three - place keys in pizza oven. 199 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,230 So we need to wash our socks. 200 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:05,630 Interesting. 201 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:08,510 We had a boy like you in my village. 202 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,110 We left him in the mountains. 203 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,870 Nice. 204 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,790 I like mountains. 205 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,510 We won't get Stephens, too young. 206 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,560 Or Best, she's going home. Thank fuck! 207 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,510 It will be Moncur. 208 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:27,240 Mmm shame, it would have been nice to have a woman in the team. 209 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:29,950 You've already got one! 210 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,110 Yeah, well... 211 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:33,390 I suppose so. 212 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:36,550 What do you mean, "I suppose so"? Do you want me to get my tits out? 213 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:37,870 Urgh! No! 214 00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,630 What do you mean, "Urgh! No!"? 215 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:43,180 It's... Oh, great, Towerblock! You alreet, lad? 216 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,310 Any news? 217 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:51,080 Has Nick shuffled off into... 218 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,580 .. into the recovery ward? 219 00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,710 Still in theatre. 220 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,150 What about a new ATO? SAT said anything? 221 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,070 I think his exact words were that he won't know 222 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,710 until he's waded through a river of Army shitocracy. 223 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,670 ~ Right. ~ Anyway, we're going back to the compound 224 00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,350 but I said you wouldn't want to come cos you must be feeling... 225 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,670 Will people stop telling me how I must be feeling? 226 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,350 Why? Does that make you feel angry? 227 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,640 HE SNIGGERS 228 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:25,910 Let's go. 229 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:33,390 So what's it looking like? Did Nick fuck up? 230 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,550 Did someone else fuck up? 231 00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,990 Dunno. The SAT says it was just bad luck, but... 232 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:40,590 But what? 233 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,110 It can't be. 234 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,910 If it's just random then this whole job's just a roll of the dice! 235 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:49,440 If no-one's fucked up then we're fucked, aren't we? 236 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,000 What makes you think we're not fucked? 237 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,630 Does paper beat key? 238 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:03,990 Paper beats rock, numpty. 239 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,990 And this must be a combination lock. 240 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,070 Paper does not beat rock. 241 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,220 I think you have never been to a stoning. 242 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,560 Well, this is it. 243 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,350 If you need to take a moment, Bird. 244 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:32,990 I am actually fine, OK? 245 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,510 I just... 246 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,920 Um, I need to take a moment. 247 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,720 Oi, we should get to work. 248 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,390 Yeah. 249 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,740 Yeah, let's find what's left of this device. 250 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,670 What? 251 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,590 Device. Singular. 252 00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:58,070 At the risk of sounding like Yoda, open your fucking mind you must. 253 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,870 That's in the Director's Cut, is it? 254 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,070 Sorry. 255 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,230 You're assuming that there was only one device 256 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,830 that Nick was working on, that Nick must've triggered. 257 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,670 Because you're assuming he fucked up! 258 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,670 Because nothing we've found out so far has suggested that he didn't! 259 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,670 Or that he did! 260 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:17,020 Could be two devices. Could be two triggers. 261 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,600 You know this stuff! 262 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,070 Heading for the daft twat box, you are. 263 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,520 Get out, reboot and fucking come back in again. 264 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,240 You too, eh? 265 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,350 Yeah. 266 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,510 I've got to clear my head. 267 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:48,430 Just don't know what's up with me. 268 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:49,750 I do. 269 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,550 You've got a kid. 270 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,910 Eh? 271 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,150 You're thinking you don't want to be an operator if you can do 272 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,750 everything right and still get randomly turned into pink mist. 273 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,350 Not fair on your sprog. 274 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,840 Yeah... 275 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,950 Maybe that's it. 276 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,520 So the moral of the story...? 277 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,190 Keep an open mind. 278 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,510 No! 279 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,030 Never have kids! 280 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,920 HE LAUGHS 281 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,160 Better get back in. 282 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,190 How are you feeling? 283 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:35,240 I'm feeling like I really don't want to talk about it. 284 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,510 Personal. 285 00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:43,910 Work. 286 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,360 Work. 287 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,190 Very personal. God! 288 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,180 Personal. Oh, God! 289 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:56,620 You're kidding me! 290 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,880 Oh, for fuck's sake! 291 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,840 Bloody hell! 292 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,560 Everything all right, Corporal? 293 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:21,110 This is... This is a medal. He's uh... Medal? 294 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,710 Yes. He was writing you up for one. 295 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,430 For the night-time ambush. When you fixed bayonets. 296 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,710 Medal. 297 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,590 Yes. You'll find out in a month. 298 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,910 So till then, keep it under your hat. 299 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,240 Or helmet, I believe they're called. Carry on. 300 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,560 HE CHUCKLES 301 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,480 4-3-6-2. 302 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,670 X marks the spot. 303 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:07,910 A plan of the base! 304 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,960 My cousin in the Taliban has this map. 305 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,190 Don't worry, it's probably not for work. 306 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:16,380 Oh! 307 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,670 And then they have to find a combination lock. 308 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,070 Keeping them busy. 309 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,870 What's the first rule? 310 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,710 Keep them busy. 311 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,670 I once spent ten hours sitting in a boiling ISO in Basra 312 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,990 waiting to hear if my Sergeant Major would pull through. 313 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,710 Didn't enjoy it. 314 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:36,790 Good to give them a run-around. 315 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:40,310 So, when they have the map then they can find this key. 316 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,560 Oh, shitsticks! Already? 317 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,560 I've got ten seconds before they realise they've got the map the wrong way round. 318 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,600 ALL: Ah! 319 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:28,940 Padre. 320 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,080 Sir. 321 00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,600 Sir, it's taped up. 322 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,430 He had rendered it safe. 323 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:56,670 So? 324 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,660 He didn't fuck up. 325 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,350 So what did happen? 326 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,470 Um... 327 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,920 OK, a... 328 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,430 A secondary, or two triggers. 329 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:13,150 Two... trip wires. The head high one here. 330 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,270 And then the other... 331 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,430 It must've been here. 332 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,510 So Nick gags the peg, he sorts the head high wire but Alderton's 333 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,230 so all-over-the-place that he goes for the wrong door, 334 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,150 hits the second trip wire and... 335 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,300 And today's special is the shit sandwich. 336 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,220 Ah. 337 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,910 Thanks for coming here, Padre. 338 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,060 Cos this has to be in total confidence. 339 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:04,350 So, I went to see where it happened, and do you know what I felt? 340 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,790 I felt glad. Like Nick deserved it. 341 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,950 Only for a moment but I thought, 342 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,550 "Yeah, yeah, this feels like God's plan." 343 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,430 ~ I'm not sure that's... ~ Not finished. 344 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,350 Ever since me and Nick shagged... 345 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,750 You as well? I mean, sorry, do go on. 346 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,340 Thank you. 347 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:26,750 He's cast this lanky, condescending shadow over me, 348 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,070 my place in the team, my career... 349 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,590 So, you feel glad? 350 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:35,350 Not now, sicko! For a moment! Obviously I'm not glad he's hurt. 351 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:39,310 I just think not seeing him for a bit's going to be good for me. 352 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,350 Let's just hope he pulls through. 353 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,190 He'll be fine. Always is. 354 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,670 As soon as he comes round 355 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:48,110 he'll be trying to fuck a nurse with his 'Best Mate Steve' story. 356 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,900 Cheers, Padre. 357 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,880 ~ What? ~ Where are the questions? 358 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,590 Ooh, hello, chaps, didn't expect to see you here! 359 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,870 BOTH: Sir! Erm, no, we were we just... 360 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:10,390 I presume you're here to help me ball my socks? 361 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,830 ~ Aye. ~ No. 362 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,620 I mean... aye! 363 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,670 Right! What's next on the old to-do list? 364 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,510 Hide quiz questions in safe. Ooh, that slipped my mind. 365 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,040 Here they are on the desk, under the to-do list. 366 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,430 ~ Stupid! ~ Ah, right! 367 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,430 ~ What the hell are you doing? ~ You were leading us to the questions! 368 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,550 No, I was keeping you busy! If you're going to win 369 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,190 the Goblet of Ultimate Knowledge, you win it fair and square. 370 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,640 Now finish balling my socks! 371 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,190 So it wasn't an error of drill or an error in drill. 372 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,670 It was just some guy - panicking. 373 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,030 Bad luck? 374 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,670 Kind of. But bad luck that you can understand. 375 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:55,460 And not random. 376 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,270 Anything else? 377 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,910 ~ Just some paperwork for the WISWO. ~ WISWO. 378 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:04,670 Couple of IED reports, requisition forms and oh, 379 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,070 an honours nomination form. Now, that's gone in the wrong pile. 380 00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,790 What? Someone's getting a medal? 381 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,030 Oh, must be. 382 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,150 Nick was writing YOU up for a medal? 383 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,630 ~ What?! ~ Oh? Was he? 384 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,110 Oh, yeah! 385 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,070 Probably best not to mention that to anyone. 386 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:21,270 You just mentioned it. Medal! 387 00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,950 Yeah. Medal. 388 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:26,350 ~ I haven't got one yet so... ~ I think we're done here. 389 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:30,030 OK, lads. I spoke to Bastion. Nick's lost his leg at the knee. 390 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,350 ~ Fuck! ~ But he's going to make it, right? 391 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,110 Still a bit touch and go. 392 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,830 He's back in theatre. More internal bleeding. 393 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,470 We should know more in an hour. 394 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,220 Let's go get a brew - wait this out together, hey? 395 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,790 I stabbed someone in the eye that night. 396 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:51,510 Why didn't I get a fucking medal? 397 00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,470 I can't believe we are seriously doing the fucking pub quiz. 398 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,790 What else are we going to do? 399 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,630 Sit in the Det and wait for him to die? 400 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:04,470 ~ He might not die. ~ Fucking hell, Simon! 401 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:05,830 C'mon, Medal, leave it out! 402 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,710 I can say that because he respected me. 403 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,270 So, quiz time! 404 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,550 ~ Quizwo! ~ Sir, do you think we really should... 405 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,950 Round one - current affairs. 406 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,510 Which now monopedal ATO has stabilised 407 00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,310 after his operation in Bastion and is expected to pull through? 408 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:21,990 THEY CHEER 409 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,150 Oh, thank God. Thank fucking God. 410 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:25,350 Question two. 411 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,030 Which infantry private is expected to make a full 412 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,990 recovery from his injuries? 413 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,580 THEY CHEER 414 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,990 Question three. Who will be Bluestone 42's next ATO? 415 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,350 Oh, I know this one. Captain Ellen Best. 416 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,960 Ooh, really, Sir? I've heard she's a total try-hard... 417 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:49,390 .. who realises I'm only saying things I don't mean 418 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,040 because it's the grief talking. 419 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,270 Hello, Bluestone 42. 420 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:58,230 A lot of grief. Hell of a lot. Corporal Bird. 421 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,630 Well, nothing wrong with being a try-hard. 422 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,790 Helps you be a 'succeed-hard.' 423 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:06,710 Absolutely. Lance Corporal Simon Lansley. 424 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:08,910 Corporal House, ma'am. 425 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,990 Private MacDowell and Private Armstrong. 426 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,070 Wow! Three-man escort? 427 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,790 Well, Nick was a really big asset. 428 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,510 Although he's recently become a 20% smaller asset. 429 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,830 THEY CHUCKLE 430 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,620 I don't get it. 431 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:27,990 20% smaller. 432 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:29,920 HE LAUGHS 433 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,990 OK, Bluestone 42. Off we fuck! 434 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:36,840 THEY LAUGH 435 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:41,390 NICK CHUCKLES 436 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:42,910 Aw! It's from my team. 437 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:44,790 ~ That's nice. ~ Yeah. 438 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:46,870 Get well soon. 439 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,280 Yeah, like my leg's going to grow back(!) 440 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,590 Yes! 441 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,550 They won the quiz! 442 00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,440 The Goblet of Ultimate Knowledge. 443 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,480 That looks fairly unhygienic. 444 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,310 HE LAUGHS 445 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:17,510 Oh, the bunch of bastards! 446 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,300 Jelly amputee? 447 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:23,560 Still, you know, I'm the lucky one. 448 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,800 With my team, my injury. 449 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,110 Not like my best mate, Steve. 450 00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,110 Did I... 451 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,160 Did I mention Steve? 452 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,000 Oh, he was a good ATO. 453 00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,060 No longer with us. 454 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,640 It was just outside Al Hartha... 455 00:27:48,690 --> 00:27:53,240 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32416

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