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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,673 --> 00:00:04,919 Dre: I'm about to fly, and I'm heavily medicated. 2 00:00:04,953 --> 00:00:05,920 Here's why. 3 00:00:05,971 --> 00:00:09,523 This trip is gonna be off the chizzain! 4 00:00:09,558 --> 00:00:11,826 My wife is in nerd overdrive 5 00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:13,961 planning a college tour for my kid. 6 00:00:14,012 --> 00:00:16,196 But the real reason I've dosed myself 7 00:00:16,231 --> 00:00:18,682 with tranquilizers is because I'm flying, 8 00:00:18,717 --> 00:00:20,184 and I hate flying. 9 00:00:20,218 --> 00:00:21,902 I mean, really hate flying. 10 00:00:21,953 --> 00:00:23,337 Because this happened. 11 00:00:23,388 --> 00:00:25,806 [High-pitched] Oh, God! Aaah! Aaah! 12 00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:26,807 I can't breathe! 13 00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,292 Oh, God, please don't let me die! 14 00:00:28,326 --> 00:00:29,843 Please don't let me die! I'll do anything! 15 00:00:29,878 --> 00:00:30,945 I'll give up porn! 16 00:00:30,979 --> 00:00:32,980 I did not give up porn. 17 00:00:33,014 --> 00:00:36,917 And now I fly with the help of some pharmaceutical courage. 18 00:00:36,951 --> 00:00:38,419 Don't judge. 19 00:00:39,183 --> 00:00:41,455 20 00:00:43,425 --> 00:00:45,092 Hey. Guys. 21 00:00:45,143 --> 00:00:47,811 Does anybody know how much Ativan you can get through TSA? 22 00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:50,564 On your person, it's 150 milligrams. 23 00:00:50,598 --> 00:00:51,732 In your person, well, 24 00:00:51,766 --> 00:00:53,434 that's between you and your colon. 25 00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:55,352 Josh: Hey, where you going? Can I come? 26 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,271 Nuh! Before you say no, just remember... 27 00:00:57,322 --> 00:00:58,405 wherever you're going, 28 00:00:58,439 --> 00:00:59,773 you're probably gonna get pulled over, 29 00:00:59,824 --> 00:01:02,075 so you're definitely gonna want some of this 30 00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:03,443 in your passenger seat. 31 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,580 Bow wants to show Zoey her Alma mater, 32 00:01:06,614 --> 00:01:08,282 so we're taking her to Brown. 33 00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:11,168 Mm! Sound like my baby girl is all grown up. 34 00:01:11,202 --> 00:01:12,703 Dude! That's my daughter. 35 00:01:12,754 --> 00:01:14,755 Shh. I'm on the phone. 36 00:01:14,789 --> 00:01:16,623 Then what happened after your birthday party, girl? 37 00:01:16,674 --> 00:01:18,458 There was a lot of salmon left over? 38 00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:21,294 They don't appreciate it unless it's fried. 39 00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:24,264 You should be excited, Dre. Brown is a fine school. 40 00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:26,850 I know, but my concern is that my baby girl 41 00:01:26,884 --> 00:01:29,603 is gonna turn into one of those Ivy league snobs 42 00:01:29,637 --> 00:01:32,889 who name-drops her college every two seconds. 43 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:33,974 No offense. 44 00:01:34,025 --> 00:01:35,025 - None taken. - None taken. 45 00:01:35,059 --> 00:01:36,610 I'm very rich. 46 00:01:36,644 --> 00:01:38,645 When I was at Harvard, they actually taught us 47 00:01:38,647 --> 00:01:41,148 how to work "when I was at Harvard" into any sentence. 48 00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:43,116 And I made it look easy when I was at Harvard, 49 00:01:43,151 --> 00:01:45,318 but it's harder when you're not at Harvard... where I was. 50 00:01:45,369 --> 00:01:46,319 - Wow. - Okay. 51 00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,039 As a Yale man, I can assure you 52 00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:51,124 that Zoey will flourish at an Ivy. 53 00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:52,159 I went to Harvard. 54 00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:55,795 Sorry. That was Dominique on the phone. 55 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,297 Oh, Dominique. 56 00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:59,416 Sexy Dominique. [Chuckles] 57 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,635 The stories I can tell you about Dominique. 58 00:02:01,669 --> 00:02:04,538 Sounds like you want us to ask you about Dominique. 59 00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,890 Well, if you want to get all in my business like that... 60 00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:09,643 Dominique is the only woman I ever loved. 61 00:02:09,677 --> 00:02:11,311 But once my son Eustace was born, 62 00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:13,013 my wife said Dominique had to go. 63 00:02:13,015 --> 00:02:14,180 Oh, no. 64 00:02:14,182 --> 00:02:15,932 She's coming into town this weekend. 65 00:02:15,983 --> 00:02:18,184 I wish I could take her from "the one that got away" 66 00:02:18,235 --> 00:02:21,271 to "the one that got away, got with a lot of other guys, 67 00:02:21,322 --> 00:02:22,856 then came back to me when she was broke." 68 00:02:22,907 --> 00:02:24,524 What do you mean "wish"? 69 00:02:24,526 --> 00:02:26,743 That phone call made it sound like you gonna Mac that. 70 00:02:26,777 --> 00:02:28,495 Nah, that'll never happen. 71 00:02:28,529 --> 00:02:31,931 My phone game is Dolemite, but my in-person game is Sinbad. 72 00:02:31,966 --> 00:02:33,867 Loud pants and high-top fade? 73 00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:36,002 Brother, you don't want to play that game. 74 00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:39,672 Well, I'll just have to catch up with her in 2035. 75 00:02:39,707 --> 00:02:41,374 By then, we'll all be computers. 76 00:02:41,425 --> 00:02:43,042 That's when I'll make my move. 77 00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:44,711 Josh: Mm. 78 00:02:44,762 --> 00:02:47,797 Guys, prepare to be outraged. 79 00:02:47,848 --> 00:02:49,849 Guess who's babysitting this weekend. 80 00:02:49,884 --> 00:02:50,884 Charlotte. 81 00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:52,018 But we love Charlotte! 82 00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:53,803 She makes us banana splits. 83 00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:56,139 Plus, she doesn't lock the door when she goes to the bathroom. 84 00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,608 Why do we need a babysitter at all? 85 00:02:58,642 --> 00:03:01,227 Isn't there anyone else you could think of? 86 00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:06,232 Ehp No! 87 00:03:06,283 --> 00:03:08,618 Anyone would be a better babysitter than you. 88 00:03:08,652 --> 00:03:11,454 I mean, let's just get Justin Bieber. 89 00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:12,872 Or his parents! 90 00:03:12,906 --> 00:03:14,657 Why? 'Cause I'm only 14? 91 00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:17,994 It's not an age thing. It's more of a "you" thing. 92 00:03:18,045 --> 00:03:20,413 How do I put this gently? 93 00:03:20,464 --> 00:03:21,748 You're a joke of a man. 94 00:03:21,799 --> 00:03:23,149 Wow. 95 00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:24,884 How would you put it not gently? 96 00:03:24,886 --> 00:03:27,153 Same way, but with a kick to the balls. 97 00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:32,275 I'm so excited about our trip! 98 00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:34,961 Me too. I mean, I cannot wait to go off to college. 99 00:03:35,012 --> 00:03:36,729 And I really hope that we get to be there long enough 100 00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:38,531 so that you can really get a taste of Brown. 101 00:03:38,582 --> 00:03:40,082 - Taste of Brown? - Yeah. 102 00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,435 - Bow, that does not sound great. - Such a hater. 103 00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:45,237 I'm surprised they let you in anywhere named "Brown." 104 00:03:45,272 --> 00:03:46,322 What? 105 00:03:46,373 --> 00:03:48,507 Ehh... I can see you getting into "tan." 106 00:03:48,558 --> 00:03:51,160 You graduated with honors from Howard... 107 00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:53,913 a black college... and you're making skin-tone jokes? 108 00:03:53,947 --> 00:03:56,048 They must be so proud of you. 109 00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:57,600 H-U! You know! 110 00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,085 [Sighing] God. 111 00:03:59,119 --> 00:04:01,520 Uh, guys, this isn't about where you went to college. 112 00:04:01,555 --> 00:04:03,222 It's about where I might go. 113 00:04:03,273 --> 00:04:06,258 Zoey, you are the apple of my eye, 114 00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:07,793 and I want the best for you, 115 00:04:07,828 --> 00:04:10,496 so if you decide to go to a much cooler, 116 00:04:10,547 --> 00:04:12,848 much cheaper U.C. school, 117 00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:15,251 you'll get a great education. 118 00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,520 Plus, I'll get you a Tesla X! 119 00:04:17,604 --> 00:04:19,488 Whoa, whoa, whoa... the one with the falcon wing doors? 120 00:04:19,539 --> 00:04:20,422 [Caws] 121 00:04:20,457 --> 00:04:21,640 Did that look and sound like a falcon? 122 00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,075 'Cause I've never seen one before. 123 00:04:23,109 --> 00:04:25,644 - Seriously? - Yeah, we only had pit bulls and pigeons in Compton. 124 00:04:25,679 --> 00:04:28,264 - I've never seen a... - No, you're bribing our daughter to stay in-state 125 00:04:28,315 --> 00:04:31,016 just so you don't have to drug yourself silly, 126 00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:34,203 [baby voice] 'Cause you're afraid to get on a big, scary airplane? 127 00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:35,287 Fine, Bow. 128 00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:37,056 I will stop taking my pills. 129 00:04:38,158 --> 00:04:40,726 As soon as everyone else stops thinking 130 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,496 that riding in a metal bus in the sky is okay! 131 00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:45,931 [Sighs] 132 00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:47,449 Can you just promise not to ruin our trip? 133 00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:48,434 [Sighs] 134 00:04:48,468 --> 00:04:49,885 I promise. 135 00:04:49,919 --> 00:04:52,354 [Slurring] I hate it when they make me take my shoes off. 136 00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:55,541 I know. You made that very clear... numerous times. 137 00:04:55,543 --> 00:04:56,742 Did you take your shoes off? 138 00:04:56,776 --> 00:04:58,527 No. Okay, Dre, don't talk to people. 139 00:04:58,578 --> 00:05:00,412 [Gasps] Airplane candy! 140 00:05:00,414 --> 00:05:01,747 No, it's not can... no, no, no. 141 00:05:01,781 --> 00:05:04,016 Y-you've taken a lot of these... a lot. 142 00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,084 That's just in case. 143 00:05:05,118 --> 00:05:06,335 All right, I'll see you when we land. 144 00:05:06,386 --> 00:05:07,469 Where are you going? 145 00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,571 Zoey and I are sitting in first class. 146 00:05:09,606 --> 00:05:11,123 This ain't my first rodeo. 147 00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:12,474 Moop! [Groans] 148 00:05:12,509 --> 00:05:13,559 Okay, and listen. 149 00:05:13,593 --> 00:05:15,110 So, we left enough food in the fridge, right? 150 00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:17,079 Did we put the lights on a timer? 151 00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,847 And did you call Charlotte, like I asked? 152 00:05:18,898 --> 00:05:19,865 - You did? - Yeah! 153 00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:21,033 Okay, good. 154 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,001 All right, I'll see you when we land, okay? 155 00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:25,103 - Bye-bye! - Buh-bye. Oh, my God. 156 00:05:25,138 --> 00:05:26,738 [Chuckles] 157 00:05:26,789 --> 00:05:27,923 I call Charlotte. 158 00:05:27,957 --> 00:05:30,309 [Cellphone beeps] 159 00:05:30,311 --> 00:05:32,878 Hello, Charllaa? 160 00:05:32,912 --> 00:05:35,013 I need you to watch the kids. 161 00:05:35,064 --> 00:05:36,548 Whatever you need, Dre. 162 00:05:36,582 --> 00:05:39,167 No, I ain't doing nothing Absolutely nothing. 163 00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:40,218 Mmm. 164 00:05:40,269 --> 00:05:42,604 I love Sbarro. 165 00:05:42,655 --> 00:05:43,822 I'm on my way. 166 00:05:43,856 --> 00:05:46,258 And yes, airport pizza is definitely underrated. 167 00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:50,629 [Cellphone beeps, door closes] 168 00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:51,763 Dad? 169 00:05:51,798 --> 00:05:53,398 But I haven't eaten yet. 170 00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:55,183 [Doorbell rings] Yay! Charlotte! 171 00:05:55,268 --> 00:05:57,285 Just throwing away money. 172 00:05:58,371 --> 00:06:00,005 [Chuckling] Jack! 173 00:06:00,056 --> 00:06:01,473 Junior! 174 00:06:01,475 --> 00:06:02,858 Diane. 175 00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:04,309 Charles. 176 00:06:04,311 --> 00:06:05,560 What are you doing here? 177 00:06:05,611 --> 00:06:07,679 Your dad called, girl twin. 178 00:06:07,713 --> 00:06:09,197 He needed some assistance. 179 00:06:09,232 --> 00:06:12,117 So... I am in charge. 180 00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:13,818 181 00:06:17,783 --> 00:06:19,801 Between you and me... 182 00:06:19,836 --> 00:06:21,736 Is your sister a witch? 183 00:06:21,771 --> 00:06:23,438 I heard that. 184 00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:24,873 That was a test. 185 00:06:24,924 --> 00:06:27,142 I've been through this before with witches. 186 00:06:27,193 --> 00:06:29,177 Honestly, I don't know why your father 187 00:06:29,211 --> 00:06:30,979 asked me to come over and watch you guys. 188 00:06:31,013 --> 00:06:32,697 You could have handled this. 189 00:06:32,732 --> 00:06:33,782 I know, right? 190 00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:34,916 Yeah. You're great. 191 00:06:34,967 --> 00:06:36,851 Oh, stop. You're great. 192 00:06:36,886 --> 00:06:38,403 No, that's you. 193 00:06:38,437 --> 00:06:40,455 No, no, but you're the greatest. 194 00:06:40,506 --> 00:06:42,090 Look at them... 195 00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:44,242 two jokes of men bonding. 196 00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:47,128 You two should watch your balls. 197 00:06:47,179 --> 00:06:48,346 Yeah. 198 00:06:48,397 --> 00:06:49,731 [Cellphone rings] 199 00:06:49,765 --> 00:06:52,701 Oh. It's Dominique. She wants to FaceTime. 200 00:06:52,735 --> 00:06:54,069 I can't. 201 00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:55,453 I got no face game. 202 00:06:55,488 --> 00:06:56,404 Who's Dominique? 203 00:06:56,455 --> 00:06:57,956 The only woman I ever loved. 204 00:06:58,526 --> 00:06:59,679 And it never worked out. 205 00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:00,806 How come? 206 00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:01,726 The usual story. 207 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,861 She wanted to focus on her lifestyle brand, 208 00:07:03,863 --> 00:07:06,297 and I impregnated a Cinnabon co-worker. 209 00:07:06,348 --> 00:07:08,149 Now we just want different things. 210 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,251 I want her, and she wants a man 211 00:07:10,302 --> 00:07:12,553 with a better life, better house... 212 00:07:12,588 --> 00:07:15,073 A man who combs his hair forwards instead of backwards. 213 00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,425 So, in a nutshell, not you. 214 00:07:17,459 --> 00:07:20,845 Witches hear when you're not even talking to them. 215 00:07:20,879 --> 00:07:24,282 216 00:07:24,316 --> 00:07:25,650 Zoey: Okay. 217 00:07:25,684 --> 00:07:27,034 Dorm room not bad. 218 00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:28,569 Oh, my God. 219 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,606 I'm so glad we're staying in the dorms! 220 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,158 This is where I lived sophomore year. 221 00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:36,344 [Springs creak] 222 00:07:36,378 --> 00:07:37,979 Yep. This is it. 223 00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,447 [Laughs] 224 00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:41,080 - Wow. - Hang on, you guys. 225 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,583 I got to call and check on the kids. 226 00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:45,152 Hey, Charlotte. How's it going over there? 227 00:07:45,187 --> 00:07:47,071 How's it going over here? 228 00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:49,874 - Um... Good... [chuckles] Mrs. J. - _ 229 00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:52,143 Well, listen, don't slow down the fun on my account, okay? 230 00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:55,112 I just wanted to check on you guys and say hi! 231 00:07:55,147 --> 00:07:57,114 So hi-i-i-i-i! 232 00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:58,349 Hi-i-i-i-i-i-i! 233 00:07:58,383 --> 00:08:00,785 I love you! I love you! Kisses! Kisses! 234 00:08:00,819 --> 00:08:01,736 [Smooching] 235 00:08:01,787 --> 00:08:03,337 Bye! 236 00:08:03,371 --> 00:08:05,056 They're fine. 237 00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:07,658 238 00:08:07,692 --> 00:08:09,710 You know what? I've been thinking about it. 239 00:08:09,761 --> 00:08:11,595 You should invite Dominique over here. 240 00:08:11,597 --> 00:08:12,730 What are you talking about? 241 00:08:12,781 --> 00:08:14,932 What if this was your better house, 242 00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:16,434 your better life? 243 00:08:16,468 --> 00:08:19,270 We could pretend that you're our dad and we're your kids. 244 00:08:19,272 --> 00:08:21,088 I don't know. Seems kind of crazy. 245 00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:22,756 No, we can do this. 246 00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:25,192 - Jack is a great actor. - No big deal. 247 00:08:25,227 --> 00:08:27,628 And I happen to be an expert on the art of romance. 248 00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:29,096 You happen to be not. 249 00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:31,398 If Nancy Meyers rom-come have taught me anyth... 250 00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:34,600 hold on. "It's complicated" or "something's gotta give"? 251 00:08:34,651 --> 00:08:36,235 Is there one without the other? 252 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:37,753 There's not. Continue. 253 00:08:37,788 --> 00:08:40,523 Nancy specializes in making one character 254 00:08:40,557 --> 00:08:42,024 happily settle for another character 255 00:08:42,075 --> 00:08:44,193 who is clearly wrong for them. 256 00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:45,344 That could be you. 257 00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:47,296 You could be happily settled for. 258 00:08:47,347 --> 00:08:49,115 That's all I ever dreamed of. 259 00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:50,282 This is insane! 260 00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:52,501 What do you have against dreamers, Diane? 261 00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:56,705 I don't even want this root-beer float anymore. 262 00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,508 Tastes like the salty tears of foolish men. 263 00:08:59,543 --> 00:09:02,478 264 00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:06,048 This place is pretty cool. 265 00:09:06,082 --> 00:09:08,751 Cool?! This is more like freezing. 266 00:09:08,802 --> 00:09:10,986 Dad, it's like 65 degrees. 267 00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:12,354 O-o-okay, now. 268 00:09:12,356 --> 00:09:14,707 But these new England winters are no joke. 269 00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:16,342 [Sighing] Here we go. 270 00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,811 Every may, when the snow starts to melt, 271 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,363 they find the bodies of at least 10 frozen students. 272 00:09:21,365 --> 00:09:22,498 - 10? - Yeah. 273 00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,133 You ever see the movie "Alive"? 274 00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:25,818 You want to eat your best friend's butt 275 00:09:25,852 --> 00:09:27,202 just to get a history degree? 276 00:09:27,237 --> 00:09:28,404 He's not done. I can feel it. 277 00:09:28,455 --> 00:09:29,922 You know what they say on the first day of class? 278 00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:32,207 "Look to your left. Look to your right. 279 00:09:32,242 --> 00:09:34,576 One of these people is gonna be in your stomach." 280 00:09:34,611 --> 00:09:35,527 Told ya. 281 00:09:35,578 --> 00:09:36,879 Can I see that map for a second? 282 00:09:36,913 --> 00:09:37,963 Uh, Dre, you know, I was thinking 283 00:09:37,997 --> 00:09:39,798 maybe you should check out Andrews hall. 284 00:09:39,849 --> 00:09:42,184 They have a really amazing snack bar 285 00:09:42,218 --> 00:09:44,420 that has a do-it-yourself calzone station. 286 00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,504 - Ooh! - Yeah, right? 287 00:09:45,555 --> 00:09:46,755 - Bow. - Yeah? 288 00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:48,607 Your tactics are so obvious. 289 00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:49,608 Are they? 290 00:09:49,659 --> 00:09:50,993 Any fool can see what you're doing. 291 00:09:51,027 --> 00:09:51,793 Mm-hmm. 292 00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,463 I'll be back. 293 00:09:54,514 --> 00:09:56,165 I think I bought us like an hour, 294 00:09:56,199 --> 00:09:57,699 which is not a lot of time 295 00:09:57,734 --> 00:10:00,035 because there are so many things about Brown 296 00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:01,770 that make this place amazeballs! 297 00:10:01,804 --> 00:10:05,073 Mom, you promised you'd stop saying "amazeballs." 298 00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:07,209 No. I said I'd stop saying "awesome sauce." 299 00:10:07,243 --> 00:10:09,594 And I have been biting my tongue this entire time 300 00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:11,730 because this place is awesome sauce! 301 00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:13,165 Awesome sauce! 302 00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:14,116 Let's go. 303 00:10:14,118 --> 00:10:16,034 A Nancy Meyers seduction starts 304 00:10:16,085 --> 00:10:17,219 with a cheese plate. 305 00:10:17,887 --> 00:10:19,638 Ew! It smells horrible. 306 00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:26,645 [Gasps] 307 00:10:27,697 --> 00:10:30,565 Well, your dumb plan's hit a speed bump. 308 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,567 Charles has locked himself in the bathroom. 309 00:10:32,618 --> 00:10:33,568 What? 310 00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:35,203 Dominique will be here any minute. 311 00:10:35,254 --> 00:10:36,421 He's probably second-guessing 312 00:10:36,456 --> 00:10:37,756 the outfit you picked out for him. 313 00:10:37,807 --> 00:10:39,491 A white turtleneck and matching pant 314 00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,826 worked on Diane Keaton, 315 00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,661 and it will damn well work on him! 316 00:10:42,712 --> 00:10:44,129 What is he doing up there? 317 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:47,115 [D'Angelo's "untitled (How does it feel)" Plays] 318 00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:54,272 Girl, it's only you 319 00:10:56,025 --> 00:10:59,261 Have it your way 320 00:10:59,295 --> 00:11:03,999 And if you want, you can decide 321 00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:04,966 [Knock on door] 322 00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,018 Uh... Just a minute. 323 00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:12,924 I-I-I-I, I just want to be your man 324 00:11:16,112 --> 00:11:17,545 How do I look? 325 00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,347 Junior and Diane: Like a middle-aged woman 326 00:11:19,382 --> 00:11:21,066 trying to start her life again. 327 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,617 That's what I'm talking about. 328 00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:24,619 Remember Nancy Meyers rule number one? 329 00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:26,805 Talk about your kitchen renovations a lot. 330 00:11:26,856 --> 00:11:27,939 Exactly. 331 00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:29,457 Start throwing around phrases like 332 00:11:29,492 --> 00:11:32,594 "been e-mailing my architect" and "farmhouse sink." 333 00:11:32,645 --> 00:11:34,429 [Doorbell rings] Gotcha. [Chuckles] 334 00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:37,532 You're gonna ruin this for me, aren't you? 335 00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,334 You don't need me to ruin this plan. 336 00:11:39,385 --> 00:11:40,435 It comes pre-ruined. 337 00:11:40,469 --> 00:11:41,970 Don't listen to her. 338 00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:44,906 I have you all set... champagne, cheese plate, 339 00:11:44,957 --> 00:11:47,926 and I'm making homemade lavender-honey ice cream. 340 00:11:47,977 --> 00:11:50,912 Ah! Like Meryl Streep when she has insomnia. 341 00:11:50,946 --> 00:11:52,046 Good call. 342 00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:53,247 Come on. 343 00:11:56,485 --> 00:11:57,552 Hey, Charlie. 344 00:11:58,621 --> 00:12:00,021 Thank you, Jesus. 345 00:12:00,055 --> 00:12:01,622 Dominique. 346 00:12:01,657 --> 00:12:02,824 [Shakily] Uh... 347 00:12:02,858 --> 00:12:04,659 I think the word you're looking for 348 00:12:04,661 --> 00:12:06,177 is "damn." 349 00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:07,812 Damn! 350 00:12:07,846 --> 00:12:09,280 - Damn! - Damn! 351 00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:10,865 This seems right to you? 352 00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:14,402 I love your outfit. 353 00:12:14,436 --> 00:12:16,654 It's actually an original piece from my line... 354 00:12:16,688 --> 00:12:19,106 Dominique for Dominique by Dominique. 355 00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:21,676 Mm. Well, I'm wearing neck by turtle. 356 00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,010 Oh! [Chuckles] 357 00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:24,011 Champagne? 358 00:12:24,062 --> 00:12:25,012 Oh! Come on. 359 00:12:25,014 --> 00:12:26,614 Thank you. 360 00:12:26,648 --> 00:12:29,667 Wow! This is really nice! 361 00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:30,952 [Chuckles] 362 00:12:31,003 --> 00:12:33,888 You've come a long way from depressed Cinnabon manager. 363 00:12:33,939 --> 00:12:36,190 Have I? I barely noticed. 364 00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:38,659 I've been so busy raising my three wonderful kids... 365 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:39,827 that are mine... 366 00:12:39,829 --> 00:12:41,896 in my house... which is also mine. 367 00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,197 Daddy! 368 00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,815 Hey! 369 00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,234 - Here's my seeds now. - Ohh! 370 00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:47,718 - [Laughs] That's Jack. - Hello. 371 00:12:47,753 --> 00:12:49,303 - Junior. - Hi. 372 00:12:49,305 --> 00:12:50,521 And the quiet one is Diane. 373 00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:51,656 Hi, Diane. 374 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,774 She's been a mute ever since her mother perished 375 00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:56,010 in a tragic flat-screen-mounting accident. 376 00:12:56,044 --> 00:12:57,044 Oh. 377 00:12:57,046 --> 00:12:58,896 But it made us stronger as a family. 378 00:12:58,947 --> 00:13:00,231 It did, son. 379 00:13:00,282 --> 00:13:01,866 It did. 380 00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,667 Well, you want to go on a tour of the house? 381 00:13:03,719 --> 00:13:04,969 Oh, uh, sure. 382 00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,487 Excuse the kitchen. It's in flux. 383 00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:10,341 I've been e-mailing my architect all day about my farmhouse sink. 384 00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:13,394 Oh, my God! I love farmhouse sinks! 385 00:13:13,445 --> 00:13:14,979 I mean, if you can't wash a pig in it, 386 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,664 don't even show it to me. 387 00:13:16,698 --> 00:13:18,466 [Both laugh] 388 00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:19,934 Walk with me. Talk with me. 389 00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,886 Oh, my God! You're gonna love this. 390 00:13:21,937 --> 00:13:24,321 Okay, there is a school tradition at Brown... 391 00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:27,842 if one student touches the "B" of "Brown" 392 00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,810 and starts singing the Brown fight song, 393 00:13:29,844 --> 00:13:33,247 then other brownies see her, and they have to join in. 394 00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:35,449 Oh. Oh, no, Mom. Do not do Yeah? Okay, watch this. 395 00:13:35,451 --> 00:13:38,819 We are ever true to Brown 396 00:13:38,853 --> 00:13:41,905 And we love our college dear 397 00:13:41,957 --> 00:13:44,458 This is part of the fun. They pretend they can't hear you, and then I got to sing louder. 398 00:13:44,509 --> 00:13:47,761 [Loudly] And wherever we may go 399 00:13:47,812 --> 00:13:50,714 We are ready with a beer! 400 00:13:50,749 --> 00:13:53,300 [Both laugh] 401 00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:55,803 You've really gotten it together, Charlie. 402 00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:57,488 Merci, mon cherie. 403 00:13:57,539 --> 00:13:58,872 Oh! You speak French? 404 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,257 Un poquito. 405 00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:02,309 [Chuckles] Mm. Caliente. 406 00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:03,811 Mm. Gesundheit. 407 00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:05,496 [Both laugh] 408 00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:08,081 It's working. 409 00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:09,683 She's settling. 410 00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:12,035 This will never last. 411 00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:13,153 Cynic. 412 00:14:13,204 --> 00:14:14,254 Romantic. 413 00:14:14,289 --> 00:14:15,923 [Both laugh] 414 00:14:15,974 --> 00:14:17,724 I see you're still into cars. 415 00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:20,110 That's a nice ride out there. That's a challenger, right? 416 00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:21,111 You like it? 417 00:14:21,162 --> 00:14:22,546 It's actually mine. 418 00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,932 What do you mean, actually yours? 419 00:14:24,966 --> 00:14:27,818 I mean, uh... what's actually anyone's? 420 00:14:27,869 --> 00:14:28,869 [Chuckles] 421 00:14:28,903 --> 00:14:31,121 Except for this moment, which is ours. 422 00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:32,339 Let's kiss again. 423 00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:36,326 Man, you are really sweating. 424 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,527 - Am I? - Yeah. 425 00:14:37,578 --> 00:14:39,713 Uh... It must be this turtleneck. 426 00:14:39,747 --> 00:14:41,214 [Chuckles] Or these candles. 427 00:14:41,265 --> 00:14:43,266 Or I must be cursed by a witch. 428 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,485 [Both chuckle] 429 00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:46,703 Will you excuse me? 430 00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:48,972 I can't keep doing this. 431 00:14:49,006 --> 00:14:51,007 Pull it together, dude. We need this. 432 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,692 Yeah, but we planned it all wrong. 433 00:14:52,743 --> 00:14:54,995 I got to come real, tell the truth. 434 00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:56,413 I mean, she'll be upset that I lied 435 00:14:56,464 --> 00:14:58,515 but then realize I only did it because I care so much. 436 00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,016 - Yes. - Yeah. 437 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,118 Of course. That's brilliant! 438 00:15:02,153 --> 00:15:03,620 Then you're off to catalina! 439 00:15:03,671 --> 00:15:05,639 The Paris of islands off Los Angeles. 440 00:15:05,673 --> 00:15:08,141 So go out there and be yourself. 441 00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,576 [Laughing] 442 00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:12,996 Oh. 443 00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:14,164 You're serious. 444 00:15:15,383 --> 00:15:16,549 Sure. 445 00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:17,851 Try it. 446 00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:21,688 This just in... God don't like your tone. 447 00:15:21,739 --> 00:15:24,524 448 00:15:27,295 --> 00:15:29,079 [Both chuckle] 449 00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:32,382 Dominique... 450 00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,217 I have to come clean with you. 451 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,020 This isn't my house. 452 00:15:37,054 --> 00:15:38,438 And I don't have any kids. 453 00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:40,306 - One kid. - Oh, that's right. That's right. 454 00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,691 I have one kid. 455 00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:43,643 Oh, my God. He's home alone. 456 00:15:43,645 --> 00:15:45,895 I should Uber him some wings. 457 00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,314 So... All this... 458 00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:51,034 the house, the cheese plate... 459 00:15:51,068 --> 00:15:51,985 The mute? 460 00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:53,036 What up, 'nique? 461 00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,037 [Scoffs] 462 00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:56,489 I-I just wanted to impress you. 463 00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:57,790 By lying to me? 464 00:15:57,825 --> 00:15:59,492 [High-pitched] Yes...? 465 00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,661 I can't believe you. 466 00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:04,130 This is Cinnabon baby all over again. 467 00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,382 Ohh! 468 00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:08,084 Ohh! 469 00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:16,509 Cut me out of this. 470 00:16:16,511 --> 00:16:17,810 Cut me out of this now! 471 00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,762 472 00:16:25,293 --> 00:16:26,360 [Sighs] 473 00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,547 Charles locked himself in the bathroom again. 474 00:16:30,632 --> 00:16:32,349 I guess that makes you happy. 475 00:16:32,351 --> 00:16:34,668 You're right... we are jokes of men. 476 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,874 I can't even figure out how to make this ice cream from "it's complicated". 477 00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:40,143 Because... shocker It's complicated. 478 00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,297 Look at this soupy mess. 479 00:16:44,331 --> 00:16:46,716 How am I supposed to do anything in this tiny kitchen? 480 00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:47,784 [Clatter] 481 00:16:51,055 --> 00:16:53,022 482 00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,177 Mmmmmm. 483 00:17:01,882 --> 00:17:02,965 [Door closes] 484 00:17:03,016 --> 00:17:04,016 Hey. 485 00:17:07,871 --> 00:17:08,871 Where's Zoey? 486 00:17:08,906 --> 00:17:10,606 At a coffee shop... 487 00:17:10,608 --> 00:17:13,075 probably looking at other schools online. 488 00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:15,428 I made her hate Brown. 489 00:17:15,479 --> 00:17:17,346 Oh. 490 00:17:17,348 --> 00:17:19,365 I'd like to take some credit for that, 491 00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:21,384 but sounds like you brought it home. 492 00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:23,436 I pushed her too hard. I did. 493 00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,872 I just... I wanted her to love it as much as I love it. 494 00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:30,026 I just have... I have so many great memories. 495 00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:32,078 [Springs creak] 496 00:17:32,129 --> 00:17:34,497 So many great memories. 497 00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:37,700 How... Many... Memories, exactly? 498 00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:40,436 Enough for... a basketball team? 499 00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,104 - I'm serious, Dre. - Okay. [Chuckles] 500 00:17:42,139 --> 00:17:45,448 I just don't want her to not want to come here because I'm a dork. 501 00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,166 Oh, baby. 502 00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:48,717 it really bothers me. 503 00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:52,405 I love dorks. 504 00:17:52,407 --> 00:17:54,006 [Chuckles] Stop. 505 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,224 Come on. 506 00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:57,993 Thank you, sweetie. Thank you. 507 00:17:58,028 --> 00:18:00,379 I really want her to come here. 508 00:18:00,381 --> 00:18:02,348 - Hey. - What? 509 00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:04,116 Can we make some memories? 510 00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,835 [Springs creak] [Laughs] 511 00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:07,970 [Both laugh] 512 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:12,124 Un-break my heart 513 00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:16,528 Say you'll love me again 514 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:20,349 Un-cry these tears 515 00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:23,986 I cried so many nights 516 00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,421 [Music stops] Can I talk to you? 517 00:18:25,455 --> 00:18:27,256 What? You came to gloat? 518 00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,341 I came to say I was wrong. 519 00:18:31,161 --> 00:18:32,361 I'm listening. 520 00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,214 So, I know you got your heart broken today, 521 00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,483 and some people will say that makes you a joke of a man, 522 00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,701 but... Don't listen. 523 00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,386 You're like homemade ice cream. 524 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,288 It's a soupy mess right now, 525 00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,908 but don't give up on it, because one day, 526 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,360 someone is going to love that ice cream. 527 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:52,882 Charles. 528 00:18:53,701 --> 00:18:56,133 Diane, I have to be honest with you. 529 00:18:56,184 --> 00:18:57,568 I'm a Popsicle dude. 530 00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,539 I think she was talking about you. 531 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,557 I'm glad you thought so, too. 532 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:05,726 I was only 50% sure. 533 00:19:06,695 --> 00:19:07,945 [Sighs] 534 00:19:07,996 --> 00:19:09,363 Hey. 535 00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,349 Look at that... I got you something. 536 00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,768 Dad, I'm not sure if I want this. 537 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,853 Okay, look. 538 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,421 I know better than everyone 539 00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:19,924 how unbearable your mother can be about her college, 540 00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:22,476 but you shouldn't write Brown off. 541 00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:24,562 It's a fantastic college. 542 00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:27,414 And if it had any part in making your mother so amazing... 543 00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,750 because we know her mother did not... 544 00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:30,835 [Chuckles] 545 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,603 You would be a fool not to apply. 546 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:37,208 Then why have you been pushing California schools so hard? 547 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,959 Is it because you're afraid to fly? 548 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,845 I hate flying. All right? 549 00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:43,197 But I will get over that for you. 550 00:19:43,231 --> 00:19:47,368 But what I can't get over is you being 3 Miles away from me, 551 00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:51,021 let alone 3,000 Miles away. 552 00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,774 But that's my problem, not yours. 553 00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:55,025 Okay? 554 00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:56,260 Okay. 555 00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:57,628 Pilot: Our flight duration today 556 00:19:57,662 --> 00:20:00,130 is going to be 5 hours and 38 minutes. 557 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,882 I didn't... I didn't take my pills. 558 00:20:01,933 --> 00:20:03,767 I don't... I don't... I don't think I can do this. 559 00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:05,552 Okay, yes, you can, Dad. 560 00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:06,603 I got you. 561 00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,106 [Shakily] Okay. 562 00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,107 Okay. 563 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,942 You can do this. 564 00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,527 I know. 565 00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:15,579 Hey, uh... 566 00:20:15,613 --> 00:20:16,780 Well, do you think it'd be cool 567 00:20:16,831 --> 00:20:18,949 if I just held on to your hand for a... 568 00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,083 A few more years? 569 00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,835 Sure, Dad. 570 00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,588 Aah! Oh, we're all gonna die! 571 00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:26,123 We're all gonna die! Ooh! 572 00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,258 Oh, Jesus! What's wrong with my seat?! 573 00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,510 What's wrong with my seat?! We aren't even moving. 574 00:20:29,544 --> 00:20:33,463 Where's my airplane candy?! Where's my airplane candy?! 575 00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,119 I want my mama! 576 00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:39,384 Dominique. 577 00:20:39,419 --> 00:20:41,169 I thought I'd never see you again. 578 00:20:41,379 --> 00:20:43,012 You were so mad. 579 00:20:43,048 --> 00:20:46,282 I was, but then I realized how much I care about you. 580 00:20:46,318 --> 00:20:47,450 Care? 581 00:20:47,485 --> 00:20:48,618 Or are you out of money? 582 00:20:48,653 --> 00:20:50,553 [Sighs] Does it matter? 583 00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:51,754 No. 584 00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,222 Let's go to Catalina. 585 00:20:53,258 --> 00:20:54,324 Ooh! 586 00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:55,291 [Both laugh] 587 00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:56,626 [ Engine revving] 588 00:20:56,661 --> 00:20:57,660 [Door closes] 589 00:20:59,331 --> 00:21:00,530 Dad? 590 00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:02,714 591 00:21:02,764 --> 00:21:07,314 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40584

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