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1
00:00:01,673 --> 00:00:04,919
Dre: I'm about to fly,and I'm heavily medicated.
2
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Here's why.
3
00:00:05,971 --> 00:00:09,523
This trip is gonna be off the chizzain!
4
00:00:09,558 --> 00:00:11,826
My wife is in nerd overdrive
5
00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:13,961
planning a college tour for my kid.
6
00:00:14,012 --> 00:00:16,196
But the real reasonI've dosed myself
7
00:00:16,231 --> 00:00:18,682
with tranquilizersis because I'm flying,
8
00:00:18,717 --> 00:00:20,184
and I hate flying.
9
00:00:20,218 --> 00:00:21,902
I mean, really hate flying.
10
00:00:21,953 --> 00:00:23,337
Because this happened.
11
00:00:23,388 --> 00:00:25,806
[High-pitched] Oh, God! Aaah! Aaah!
12
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:26,807
I can't breathe!
13
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:28,292
Oh, God, please don't let me die!
14
00:00:28,326 --> 00:00:29,843
Please don't let me die! I'll do anything!
15
00:00:29,878 --> 00:00:30,945
I'll give up porn!
16
00:00:30,979 --> 00:00:32,980
I did not give up porn.
17
00:00:33,014 --> 00:00:36,917
And now I fly with the helpof some pharmaceutical courage.
18
00:00:36,951 --> 00:00:38,419
Don't judge.
19
00:00:39,183 --> 00:00:41,455
20
00:00:43,425 --> 00:00:45,092
Hey. Guys.
21
00:00:45,143 --> 00:00:47,811
Does anybody know how much
Ativan you can get through TSA?
22
00:00:47,846 --> 00:00:50,564
On your person, it's 150 milligrams.
23
00:00:50,598 --> 00:00:51,732
In your person, well,
24
00:00:51,766 --> 00:00:53,434
that's between you and your colon.
25
00:00:53,436 --> 00:00:55,352
Josh: Hey, where you going? Can I come?
26
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,271
Nuh! Before you say no, just remember...
27
00:00:57,322 --> 00:00:58,405
wherever you're going,
28
00:00:58,439 --> 00:00:59,773
you're probably gonna get pulled over,
29
00:00:59,824 --> 00:01:02,075
so you're definitely gonna
want some of this
30
00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:03,443
in your passenger seat.
31
00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:06,580
Bow wants to show Zoey her Alma mater,
32
00:01:06,614 --> 00:01:08,282
so we're taking her to Brown.
33
00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:11,168
Mm! Sound like my baby
girl is all grown up.
34
00:01:11,202 --> 00:01:12,703
Dude! That's my daughter.
35
00:01:12,754 --> 00:01:14,755
Shh. I'm on the phone.
36
00:01:14,789 --> 00:01:16,623
Then what happened after
your birthday party, girl?
37
00:01:16,674 --> 00:01:18,458
There was a lot of salmon left over?
38
00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:21,294
They don't appreciate it unless it's fried.
39
00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:24,264
You should be excited,
Dre. Brown is a fine school.
40
00:01:24,298 --> 00:01:26,850
I know, but my concern is that my baby girl
41
00:01:26,884 --> 00:01:29,603
is gonna turn into one
of those Ivy league snobs
42
00:01:29,637 --> 00:01:32,889
who name-drops her
college every two seconds.
43
00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:33,974
No offense.
44
00:01:34,025 --> 00:01:35,025
- None taken.
- None taken.
45
00:01:35,059 --> 00:01:36,610
I'm very rich.
46
00:01:36,644 --> 00:01:38,645
When I was at Harvard,
they actually taught us
47
00:01:38,647 --> 00:01:41,148
how to work "when I was at
Harvard" into any sentence.
48
00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:43,116
And I made it look easy
when I was at Harvard,
49
00:01:43,151 --> 00:01:45,318
but it's harder when you're
not at Harvard... where I was.
50
00:01:45,369 --> 00:01:46,319
- Wow.
- Okay.
51
00:01:46,370 --> 00:01:49,039
As a Yale man, I can assure you
52
00:01:49,073 --> 00:01:51,124
that Zoey will flourish at an Ivy.
53
00:01:51,159 --> 00:01:52,159
I went to Harvard.
54
00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:55,795
Sorry. That was Dominique on the phone.
55
00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,297
Oh, Dominique.
56
00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:59,416
Sexy Dominique. [Chuckles]
57
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,635
The stories I can tell you about Dominique.
58
00:02:01,669 --> 00:02:04,538
Sounds like you want us
to ask you about Dominique.
59
00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,890
Well, if you want to get all
in my business like that...
60
00:02:06,974 --> 00:02:09,643
Dominique is the only woman I ever loved.
61
00:02:09,677 --> 00:02:11,311
But once my son Eustace was born,
62
00:02:11,345 --> 00:02:13,013
my wife said Dominique had to go.
63
00:02:13,015 --> 00:02:14,180
Oh, no.
64
00:02:14,182 --> 00:02:15,932
She's coming into town this weekend.
65
00:02:15,983 --> 00:02:18,184
I wish I could take her
from "the one that got away"
66
00:02:18,235 --> 00:02:21,271
to "the one that got away,
got with a lot of other guys,
67
00:02:21,322 --> 00:02:22,856
then came back to me when she was broke."
68
00:02:22,907 --> 00:02:24,524
What do you mean "wish"?
69
00:02:24,526 --> 00:02:26,743
That phone call made it
sound like you gonna Mac that.
70
00:02:26,777 --> 00:02:28,495
Nah, that'll never happen.
71
00:02:28,529 --> 00:02:31,931
My phone game is Dolemite, but
my in-person game is Sinbad.
72
00:02:31,966 --> 00:02:33,867
Loud pants and high-top fade?
73
00:02:33,869 --> 00:02:36,002
Brother, you don't want to play that game.
74
00:02:36,036 --> 00:02:39,672
Well, I'll just have to
catch up with her in 2035.
75
00:02:39,707 --> 00:02:41,374
By then, we'll all be computers.
76
00:02:41,425 --> 00:02:43,042
That's when I'll make my move.
77
00:02:43,093 --> 00:02:44,711
Josh: Mm.
78
00:02:44,762 --> 00:02:47,797
Guys, prepare to be outraged.
79
00:02:47,848 --> 00:02:49,849
Guess who's babysitting this weekend.
80
00:02:49,884 --> 00:02:50,884
Charlotte.
81
00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:52,018
But we love Charlotte!
82
00:02:52,052 --> 00:02:53,803
She makes us banana splits.
83
00:02:53,854 --> 00:02:56,139
Plus, she doesn't lock the door
when she goes to the bathroom.
84
00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,608
Why do we need a babysitter at all?
85
00:02:58,642 --> 00:03:01,227
Isn't there anyone else you could think of?
86
00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:06,232
Ehp No!
87
00:03:06,283 --> 00:03:08,618
Anyone would be a
better babysitter than you.
88
00:03:08,652 --> 00:03:11,454
I mean, let's just get Justin Bieber.
89
00:03:11,488 --> 00:03:12,872
Or his parents!
90
00:03:12,906 --> 00:03:14,657
Why? 'Cause I'm only 14?
91
00:03:14,708 --> 00:03:17,994
It's not an age thing.
It's more of a "you" thing.
92
00:03:18,045 --> 00:03:20,413
How do I put this gently?
93
00:03:20,464 --> 00:03:21,748
You're a joke of a man.
94
00:03:21,799 --> 00:03:23,149
Wow.
95
00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:24,884
How would you put it not gently?
96
00:03:24,886 --> 00:03:27,153
Same way, but with a kick to the balls.
97
00:03:30,140 --> 00:03:32,275
I'm so excited about our trip!
98
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:34,961
Me too. I mean, I cannot
wait to go off to college.
99
00:03:35,012 --> 00:03:36,729
And I really hope that we
get to be there long enough
100
00:03:36,763 --> 00:03:38,531
so that you can really
get a taste of Brown.
101
00:03:38,582 --> 00:03:40,082
- Taste of Brown?
- Yeah.
102
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:42,435
- Bow, that does not sound great.
- Such a hater.
103
00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:45,237
I'm surprised they let you
in anywhere named "Brown."
104
00:03:45,272 --> 00:03:46,322
What?
105
00:03:46,373 --> 00:03:48,507
Ehh... I can see you getting into "tan."
106
00:03:48,558 --> 00:03:51,160
You graduated with honors from Howard...
107
00:03:51,194 --> 00:03:53,913
a black college... and
you're making skin-tone jokes?
108
00:03:53,947 --> 00:03:56,048
They must be so proud of you.
109
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:57,600
H-U! You know!
110
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:59,085
[Sighing] God.
111
00:03:59,119 --> 00:04:01,520
Uh, guys, this isn't about
where you went to college.
112
00:04:01,555 --> 00:04:03,222
It's about where I might go.
113
00:04:03,273 --> 00:04:06,258
Zoey, you are the apple of my eye,
114
00:04:06,293 --> 00:04:07,793
and I want the best for you,
115
00:04:07,828 --> 00:04:10,496
so if you decide to go to a much cooler,
116
00:04:10,547 --> 00:04:12,848
much cheaper U.C. school,
117
00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:15,251
you'll get a great education.
118
00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:17,520
Plus, I'll get you a Tesla X!
119
00:04:17,604 --> 00:04:19,488
Whoa, whoa, whoa... the one
with the falcon wing doors?
120
00:04:19,539 --> 00:04:20,422
[Caws]
121
00:04:20,457 --> 00:04:21,640
Did that look and sound like a falcon?
122
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,075
'Cause I've never seen one before.
123
00:04:23,109 --> 00:04:25,644
- Seriously?
- Yeah, we only had pit bulls and pigeons in Compton.
124
00:04:25,679 --> 00:04:28,264
- I've never seen a... - No, you're
bribing our daughter to stay in-state
125
00:04:28,315 --> 00:04:31,016
just so you don't have
to drug yourself silly,
126
00:04:31,051 --> 00:04:34,203
[baby voice] 'Cause you're afraid
to get on a big, scary airplane?
127
00:04:34,254 --> 00:04:35,287
Fine, Bow.
128
00:04:35,338 --> 00:04:37,056
I will stop taking my pills.
129
00:04:38,158 --> 00:04:40,726
As soon as everyone else stops thinking
130
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:44,496
that riding in a metal
bus in the sky is okay!
131
00:04:44,498 --> 00:04:45,931
[Sighs]
132
00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:47,449
Can you just promise not to ruin our trip?
133
00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:48,434
[Sighs]
134
00:04:48,468 --> 00:04:49,885
I promise.
135
00:04:49,919 --> 00:04:52,354
[Slurring] I hate it when
they make me take my shoes off.
136
00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:55,541
I know. You made that very
clear... numerous times.
137
00:04:55,543 --> 00:04:56,742
Did you take your shoes off?
138
00:04:56,776 --> 00:04:58,527
No. Okay, Dre, don't talk to people.
139
00:04:58,578 --> 00:05:00,412
[Gasps] Airplane candy!
140
00:05:00,414 --> 00:05:01,747
No, it's not can... no, no, no.
141
00:05:01,781 --> 00:05:04,016
Y-you've taken a lot of these... a lot.
142
00:05:04,050 --> 00:05:05,084
That's just in case.
143
00:05:05,118 --> 00:05:06,335
All right, I'll see you when we land.
144
00:05:06,386 --> 00:05:07,469
Where are you going?
145
00:05:07,520 --> 00:05:09,571
Zoey and I are sitting in first class.
146
00:05:09,606 --> 00:05:11,123
This ain't my first rodeo.
147
00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:12,474
Moop! [Groans]
148
00:05:12,509 --> 00:05:13,559
Okay, and listen.
149
00:05:13,593 --> 00:05:15,110
So, we left enough food
in the fridge, right?
150
00:05:15,161 --> 00:05:17,079
Did we put the lights on a timer?
151
00:05:17,130 --> 00:05:18,847
And did you call Charlotte, like I asked?
152
00:05:18,898 --> 00:05:19,865
- You did?
- Yeah!
153
00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:21,033
Okay, good.
154
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,001
All right, I'll see you when we land, okay?
155
00:05:23,052 --> 00:05:25,103
- Bye-bye!
- Buh-bye. Oh, my God.
156
00:05:25,138 --> 00:05:26,738
[Chuckles]
157
00:05:26,789 --> 00:05:27,923
I call Charlotte.
158
00:05:27,957 --> 00:05:30,309
[Cellphone beeps]
159
00:05:30,311 --> 00:05:32,878
Hello, Charllaa?
160
00:05:32,912 --> 00:05:35,013
I need you to watch the kids.
161
00:05:35,064 --> 00:05:36,548
Whatever you need, Dre.
162
00:05:36,582 --> 00:05:39,167
No, I ain't doing nothing
Absolutely nothing.
163
00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:40,218
Mmm.
164
00:05:40,269 --> 00:05:42,604
I love Sbarro.
165
00:05:42,655 --> 00:05:43,822
I'm on my way.
166
00:05:43,856 --> 00:05:46,258
And yes, airport pizza
is definitely underrated.
167
00:05:48,561 --> 00:05:50,629
[Cellphone beeps, door closes]
168
00:05:50,663 --> 00:05:51,763
Dad?
169
00:05:51,798 --> 00:05:53,398
But I haven't eaten yet.
170
00:05:53,433 --> 00:05:55,183
[Doorbell rings] Yay! Charlotte!
171
00:05:55,268 --> 00:05:57,285
Just throwing away money.
172
00:05:58,371 --> 00:06:00,005
[Chuckling] Jack!
173
00:06:00,056 --> 00:06:01,473
Junior!
174
00:06:01,475 --> 00:06:02,858
Diane.
175
00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:04,309
Charles.
176
00:06:04,311 --> 00:06:05,560
What are you doing here?
177
00:06:05,611 --> 00:06:07,679
Your dad called, girl twin.
178
00:06:07,713 --> 00:06:09,197
He needed some assistance.
179
00:06:09,232 --> 00:06:12,117
So... I am in charge.
180
00:06:12,151 --> 00:06:13,818
181
00:06:17,783 --> 00:06:19,801
Between you and me...
182
00:06:19,836 --> 00:06:21,736
Is your sister a witch?
183
00:06:21,771 --> 00:06:23,438
I heard that.
184
00:06:23,472 --> 00:06:24,873
That was a test.
185
00:06:24,924 --> 00:06:27,142
I've been through this before with witches.
186
00:06:27,193 --> 00:06:29,177
Honestly, I don't know why your father
187
00:06:29,211 --> 00:06:30,979
asked me to come over and watch you guys.
188
00:06:31,013 --> 00:06:32,697
You could have handled this.
189
00:06:32,732 --> 00:06:33,782
I know, right?
190
00:06:33,833 --> 00:06:34,916
Yeah. You're great.
191
00:06:34,967 --> 00:06:36,851
Oh, stop. You're great.
192
00:06:36,886 --> 00:06:38,403
No, that's you.
193
00:06:38,437 --> 00:06:40,455
No, no, but you're the greatest.
194
00:06:40,506 --> 00:06:42,090
Look at them...
195
00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:44,242
two jokes of men bonding.
196
00:06:45,411 --> 00:06:47,128
You two should watch your balls.
197
00:06:47,179 --> 00:06:48,346
Yeah.
198
00:06:48,397 --> 00:06:49,731
[Cellphone rings]
199
00:06:49,765 --> 00:06:52,701
Oh. It's Dominique. She wants to FaceTime.
200
00:06:52,735 --> 00:06:54,069
I can't.
201
00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:55,453
I got no face game.
202
00:06:55,488 --> 00:06:56,404
Who's Dominique?
203
00:06:56,455 --> 00:06:57,956
The only woman I ever loved.
204
00:06:58,526 --> 00:06:59,679
And it never worked out.
205
00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:00,806
How come?
206
00:07:00,926 --> 00:07:01,726
The usual story.
207
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,861
She wanted to focus on her lifestyle brand,
208
00:07:03,863 --> 00:07:06,297
and I impregnated a Cinnabon co-worker.
209
00:07:06,348 --> 00:07:08,149
Now we just want different things.
210
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,251
I want her, and she wants a man
211
00:07:10,302 --> 00:07:12,553
with a better life, better house...
212
00:07:12,588 --> 00:07:15,073
A man who combs his hair
forwards instead of backwards.
213
00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,425
So, in a nutshell, not you.
214
00:07:17,459 --> 00:07:20,845
Witches hear when you're
not even talking to them.
215
00:07:20,879 --> 00:07:24,282
216
00:07:24,316 --> 00:07:25,650
Zoey: Okay.
217
00:07:25,684 --> 00:07:27,034
Dorm room not bad.
218
00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:28,569
Oh, my God.
219
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,606
I'm so glad we're staying in the dorms!
220
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,158
This is where I lived sophomore year.
221
00:07:34,193 --> 00:07:36,344
[Springs creak]
222
00:07:36,378 --> 00:07:37,979
Yep. This is it.
223
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,447
[Laughs]
224
00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:41,080
- Wow.
- Hang on, you guys.
225
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,583
I got to call and check on the kids.
226
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:45,152
Hey, Charlotte. How's it going over there?
227
00:07:45,187 --> 00:07:47,071
How's it going over here?
228
00:07:47,122 --> 00:07:49,874
- Um... Good... [chuckles] Mrs. J.
- _
229
00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:52,143
Well, listen, don't slow down
the fun on my account, okay?
230
00:07:52,194 --> 00:07:55,112
I just wanted to check
on you guys and say hi!
231
00:07:55,147 --> 00:07:57,114
So hi-i-i-i-i!
232
00:07:57,149 --> 00:07:58,349
Hi-i-i-i-i-i-i!
233
00:07:58,383 --> 00:08:00,785
I love you! I love you! Kisses! Kisses!
234
00:08:00,819 --> 00:08:01,736
[Smooching]
235
00:08:01,787 --> 00:08:03,337
Bye!
236
00:08:03,371 --> 00:08:05,056
They're fine.
237
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:07,658
238
00:08:07,692 --> 00:08:09,710
You know what? I've been thinking about it.
239
00:08:09,761 --> 00:08:11,595
You should invite Dominique over here.
240
00:08:11,597 --> 00:08:12,730
What are you talking about?
241
00:08:12,781 --> 00:08:14,932
What if this was your better house,
242
00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:16,434
your better life?
243
00:08:16,468 --> 00:08:19,270
We could pretend that you're
our dad and we're your kids.
244
00:08:19,272 --> 00:08:21,088
I don't know. Seems kind of crazy.
245
00:08:21,122 --> 00:08:22,756
No, we can do this.
246
00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:25,192
- Jack is a great actor.
- No big deal.
247
00:08:25,227 --> 00:08:27,628
And I happen to be an
expert on the art of romance.
248
00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:29,096
You happen to be not.
249
00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:31,398
If Nancy Meyers rom-come
have taught me anyth...
250
00:08:31,832 --> 00:08:34,600
hold on. "It's complicated"
or "something's gotta give"?
251
00:08:34,651 --> 00:08:36,235
Is there one without the other?
252
00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:37,753
There's not. Continue.
253
00:08:37,788 --> 00:08:40,523
Nancy specializes in making one character
254
00:08:40,557 --> 00:08:42,024
happily settle for another character
255
00:08:42,075 --> 00:08:44,193
who is clearly wrong for them.
256
00:08:44,211 --> 00:08:45,344
That could be you.
257
00:08:45,379 --> 00:08:47,296
You could be happily settled for.
258
00:08:47,347 --> 00:08:49,115
That's all I ever dreamed of.
259
00:08:49,149 --> 00:08:50,282
This is insane!
260
00:08:50,333 --> 00:08:52,501
What do you have against dreamers, Diane?
261
00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:56,705
I don't even want this
root-beer float anymore.
262
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,508
Tastes like the salty tears of foolish men.
263
00:08:59,543 --> 00:09:02,478
264
00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:06,048
This place is pretty cool.
265
00:09:06,082 --> 00:09:08,751
Cool?! This is more like freezing.
266
00:09:08,802 --> 00:09:10,986
Dad, it's like 65 degrees.
267
00:09:11,021 --> 00:09:12,354
O-o-okay, now.
268
00:09:12,356 --> 00:09:14,707
But these new England winters are no joke.
269
00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:16,342
[Sighing] Here we go.
270
00:09:16,376 --> 00:09:18,811
Every may, when the snow starts to melt,
271
00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:21,363
they find the bodies of at
least 10 frozen students.
272
00:09:21,365 --> 00:09:22,498
- 10?
- Yeah.
273
00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,133
You ever see the movie "Alive"?
274
00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:25,818
You want to eat your best friend's butt
275
00:09:25,852 --> 00:09:27,202
just to get a history degree?
276
00:09:27,237 --> 00:09:28,404
He's not done. I can feel it.
277
00:09:28,455 --> 00:09:29,922
You know what they say
on the first day of class?
278
00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:32,207
"Look to your left. Look to your right.
279
00:09:32,242 --> 00:09:34,576
One of these people is
gonna be in your stomach."
280
00:09:34,611 --> 00:09:35,527
Told ya.
281
00:09:35,578 --> 00:09:36,879
Can I see that map for a second?
282
00:09:36,913 --> 00:09:37,963
Uh, Dre, you know, I was thinking
283
00:09:37,997 --> 00:09:39,798
maybe you should check out Andrews hall.
284
00:09:39,849 --> 00:09:42,184
They have a really amazing snack bar
285
00:09:42,218 --> 00:09:44,420
that has a do-it-yourself calzone station.
286
00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,504
- Ooh!
- Yeah, right?
287
00:09:45,555 --> 00:09:46,755
- Bow.
- Yeah?
288
00:09:46,806 --> 00:09:48,607
Your tactics are so obvious.
289
00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:49,608
Are they?
290
00:09:49,659 --> 00:09:50,993
Any fool can see what you're doing.
291
00:09:51,027 --> 00:09:51,793
Mm-hmm.
292
00:09:52,762 --> 00:09:54,463
I'll be back.
293
00:09:54,514 --> 00:09:56,165
I think I bought us like an hour,
294
00:09:56,199 --> 00:09:57,699
which is not a lot of time
295
00:09:57,734 --> 00:10:00,035
because there are so
many things about Brown
296
00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:01,770
that make this place amazeballs!
297
00:10:01,804 --> 00:10:05,073
Mom, you promised you'd
stop saying "amazeballs."
298
00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:07,209
No. I said I'd stop saying "awesome sauce."
299
00:10:07,243 --> 00:10:09,594
And I have been biting
my tongue this entire time
300
00:10:09,629 --> 00:10:11,730
because this place is awesome sauce!
301
00:10:11,781 --> 00:10:13,165
Awesome sauce!
302
00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:14,116
Let's go.
303
00:10:14,118 --> 00:10:16,034
A Nancy Meyers seduction starts
304
00:10:16,085 --> 00:10:17,219
with a cheese plate.
305
00:10:17,887 --> 00:10:19,638
Ew! It smells horrible.
306
00:10:25,728 --> 00:10:26,645
[Gasps]
307
00:10:27,697 --> 00:10:30,565
Well, your dumb plan's hit a speed bump.
308
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,567
Charles has locked himself in the bathroom.
309
00:10:32,618 --> 00:10:33,568
What?
310
00:10:33,619 --> 00:10:35,203
Dominique will be here any minute.
311
00:10:35,254 --> 00:10:36,421
He's probably second-guessing
312
00:10:36,456 --> 00:10:37,756
the outfit you picked out for him.
313
00:10:37,807 --> 00:10:39,491
A white turtleneck and matching pant
314
00:10:39,525 --> 00:10:40,826
worked on Diane Keaton,
315
00:10:40,860 --> 00:10:42,661
and it will damn well work on him!
316
00:10:42,712 --> 00:10:44,129
What is he doing up there?
317
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:47,115
[D'Angelo's "untitled
(How does it feel)" Plays]
318
00:10:51,837 --> 00:10:54,272
Girl, it's only you
319
00:10:56,025 --> 00:10:59,261
Have it your way
320
00:10:59,295 --> 00:11:03,999
And if you want, you can decide
321
00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:04,966
[Knock on door]
322
00:11:05,001 --> 00:11:07,018
Uh... Just a minute.
323
00:11:08,621 --> 00:11:12,924
I-I-I-I, I just want to be your man
324
00:11:16,112 --> 00:11:17,545
How do I look?
325
00:11:17,580 --> 00:11:19,347
Junior and Diane: Like a middle-aged woman
326
00:11:19,382 --> 00:11:21,066
trying to start her life again.
327
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,617
That's what I'm talking about.
328
00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:24,619
Remember Nancy Meyers rule number one?
329
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:26,805
Talk about your kitchen renovations a lot.
330
00:11:26,856 --> 00:11:27,939
Exactly.
331
00:11:27,990 --> 00:11:29,457
Start throwing around phrases like
332
00:11:29,492 --> 00:11:32,594
"been e-mailing my architect"
and "farmhouse sink."
333
00:11:32,645 --> 00:11:34,429
[Doorbell rings] Gotcha. [Chuckles]
334
00:11:35,765 --> 00:11:37,532
You're gonna ruin this for me, aren't you?
335
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,334
You don't need me to ruin this plan.
336
00:11:39,385 --> 00:11:40,435
It comes pre-ruined.
337
00:11:40,469 --> 00:11:41,970
Don't listen to her.
338
00:11:41,972 --> 00:11:44,906
I have you all set...
champagne, cheese plate,
339
00:11:44,957 --> 00:11:47,926
and I'm making homemade
lavender-honey ice cream.
340
00:11:47,977 --> 00:11:50,912
Ah! Like Meryl Streep
when she has insomnia.
341
00:11:50,946 --> 00:11:52,046
Good call.
342
00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:53,247
Come on.
343
00:11:56,485 --> 00:11:57,552
Hey, Charlie.
344
00:11:58,621 --> 00:12:00,021
Thank you, Jesus.
345
00:12:00,055 --> 00:12:01,622
Dominique.
346
00:12:01,657 --> 00:12:02,824
[Shakily] Uh...
347
00:12:02,858 --> 00:12:04,659
I think the word you're looking for
348
00:12:04,661 --> 00:12:06,177
is "damn."
349
00:12:06,211 --> 00:12:07,812
Damn!
350
00:12:07,846 --> 00:12:09,280
- Damn!
- Damn!
351
00:12:09,314 --> 00:12:10,865
This seems right to you?
352
00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:14,402
I love your outfit.
353
00:12:14,436 --> 00:12:16,654
It's actually an original
piece from my line...
354
00:12:16,688 --> 00:12:19,106
Dominique for Dominique by Dominique.
355
00:12:19,141 --> 00:12:21,676
Mm. Well, I'm wearing neck by turtle.
356
00:12:21,710 --> 00:12:23,010
Oh! [Chuckles]
357
00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:24,011
Champagne?
358
00:12:24,062 --> 00:12:25,012
Oh! Come on.
359
00:12:25,014 --> 00:12:26,614
Thank you.
360
00:12:26,648 --> 00:12:29,667
Wow! This is really nice!
361
00:12:29,701 --> 00:12:30,952
[Chuckles]
362
00:12:31,003 --> 00:12:33,888
You've come a long way from
depressed Cinnabon manager.
363
00:12:33,939 --> 00:12:36,190
Have I? I barely noticed.
364
00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:38,659
I've been so busy raising
my three wonderful kids...
365
00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:39,827
that are mine...
366
00:12:39,829 --> 00:12:41,896
in my house... which is also mine.
367
00:12:41,930 --> 00:12:43,197
Daddy!
368
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,815
Hey!
369
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,234
- Here's my seeds now.
- Ohh!
370
00:12:46,285 --> 00:12:47,718
- [Laughs] That's Jack.
- Hello.
371
00:12:47,753 --> 00:12:49,303
- Junior.
- Hi.
372
00:12:49,305 --> 00:12:50,521
And the quiet one is Diane.
373
00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:51,656
Hi, Diane.
374
00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,774
She's been a mute ever
since her mother perished
375
00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:56,010
in a tragic flat-screen-mounting accident.
376
00:12:56,044 --> 00:12:57,044
Oh.
377
00:12:57,046 --> 00:12:58,896
But it made us stronger as a family.
378
00:12:58,947 --> 00:13:00,231
It did, son.
379
00:13:00,282 --> 00:13:01,866
It did.
380
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,667
Well, you want to go
on a tour of the house?
381
00:13:03,719 --> 00:13:04,969
Oh, uh, sure.
382
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:06,487
Excuse the kitchen. It's in flux.
383
00:13:06,521 --> 00:13:10,341
I've been e-mailing my architect
all day about my farmhouse sink.
384
00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:13,394
Oh, my God! I love farmhouse sinks!
385
00:13:13,445 --> 00:13:14,979
I mean, if you can't wash a pig in it,
386
00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,664
don't even show it to me.
387
00:13:16,698 --> 00:13:18,466
[Both laugh]
388
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:19,934
Walk with me. Talk with me.
389
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,886
Oh, my God! You're gonna love this.
390
00:13:21,937 --> 00:13:24,321
Okay, there is a school
tradition at Brown...
391
00:13:24,372 --> 00:13:27,842
if one student touches the "B" of "Brown"
392
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,810
and starts singing the Brown fight song,
393
00:13:29,844 --> 00:13:33,247
then other brownies see her,
and they have to join in.
394
00:13:33,281 --> 00:13:35,449
Oh. Oh, no, Mom. Do not
do Yeah? Okay, watch this.
395
00:13:35,451 --> 00:13:38,819
We are ever true to Brown
396
00:13:38,853 --> 00:13:41,905
And we love our college dear
397
00:13:41,957 --> 00:13:44,458
This is part of the fun. They pretend they
can't hear you, and then I got to sing louder.
398
00:13:44,509 --> 00:13:47,761
[Loudly] And wherever we may go
399
00:13:47,812 --> 00:13:50,714
We are ready with a beer!
400
00:13:50,749 --> 00:13:53,300
[Both laugh]
401
00:13:53,335 --> 00:13:55,803
You've really gotten it together, Charlie.
402
00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:57,488
Merci, mon cherie.
403
00:13:57,539 --> 00:13:58,872
Oh! You speak French?
404
00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,257
Un poquito.
405
00:14:00,291 --> 00:14:02,309
[Chuckles] Mm. Caliente.
406
00:14:02,343 --> 00:14:03,811
Mm. Gesundheit.
407
00:14:03,845 --> 00:14:05,496
[Both laugh]
408
00:14:06,748 --> 00:14:08,081
It's working.
409
00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:09,683
She's settling.
410
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:12,035
This will never last.
411
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:13,153
Cynic.
412
00:14:13,204 --> 00:14:14,254
Romantic.
413
00:14:14,289 --> 00:14:15,923
[Both laugh]
414
00:14:15,974 --> 00:14:17,724
I see you're still into cars.
415
00:14:17,775 --> 00:14:20,110
That's a nice ride out there.
That's a challenger, right?
416
00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:21,111
You like it?
417
00:14:21,162 --> 00:14:22,546
It's actually mine.
418
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:24,932
What do you mean, actually yours?
419
00:14:24,966 --> 00:14:27,818
I mean, uh... what's actually anyone's?
420
00:14:27,869 --> 00:14:28,869
[Chuckles]
421
00:14:28,903 --> 00:14:31,121
Except for this moment, which is ours.
422
00:14:31,155 --> 00:14:32,339
Let's kiss again.
423
00:14:33,474 --> 00:14:36,326
Man, you are really sweating.
424
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,527
- Am I?
- Yeah.
425
00:14:37,578 --> 00:14:39,713
Uh... It must be this turtleneck.
426
00:14:39,747 --> 00:14:41,214
[Chuckles] Or these candles.
427
00:14:41,265 --> 00:14:43,266
Or I must be cursed by a witch.
428
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,485
[Both chuckle]
429
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:46,703
Will you excuse me?
430
00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:48,972
I can't keep doing this.
431
00:14:49,006 --> 00:14:51,007
Pull it together, dude. We need this.
432
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:52,692
Yeah, but we planned it all wrong.
433
00:14:52,743 --> 00:14:54,995
I got to come real, tell the truth.
434
00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:56,413
I mean, she'll be upset that I lied
435
00:14:56,464 --> 00:14:58,515
but then realize I only did
it because I care so much.
436
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,016
- Yes.
- Yeah.
437
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,118
Of course. That's brilliant!
438
00:15:02,153 --> 00:15:03,620
Then you're off to catalina!
439
00:15:03,671 --> 00:15:05,639
The Paris of islands off Los Angeles.
440
00:15:05,673 --> 00:15:08,141
So go out there and be yourself.
441
00:15:08,192 --> 00:15:09,576
[Laughing]
442
00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:12,996
Oh.
443
00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:14,164
You're serious.
444
00:15:15,383 --> 00:15:16,549
Sure.
445
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:17,851
Try it.
446
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:21,688
This just in... God don't like your tone.
447
00:15:21,739 --> 00:15:24,524
448
00:15:27,295 --> 00:15:29,079
[Both chuckle]
449
00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:32,382
Dominique...
450
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,217
I have to come clean with you.
451
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,020
This isn't my house.
452
00:15:37,054 --> 00:15:38,438
And I don't have any kids.
453
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:40,306
- One kid.
- Oh, that's right. That's right.
454
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,691
I have one kid.
455
00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:43,643
Oh, my God. He's home alone.
456
00:15:43,645 --> 00:15:45,895
I should Uber him some wings.
457
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:48,314
So... All this...
458
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:51,034
the house, the cheese plate...
459
00:15:51,068 --> 00:15:51,985
The mute?
460
00:15:52,036 --> 00:15:53,036
What up, 'nique?
461
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,037
[Scoffs]
462
00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:56,489
I-I just wanted to impress you.
463
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:57,790
By lying to me?
464
00:15:57,825 --> 00:15:59,492
[High-pitched] Yes...?
465
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:01,661
I can't believe you.
466
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:04,130
This is Cinnabon baby all over again.
467
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:06,382
Ohh!
468
00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:08,084
Ohh!
469
00:16:14,725 --> 00:16:16,509
Cut me out of this.
470
00:16:16,511 --> 00:16:17,810
Cut me out of this now!
471
00:16:17,845 --> 00:16:19,762
472
00:16:25,293 --> 00:16:26,360
[Sighs]
473
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:29,547
Charles locked himself
in the bathroom again.
474
00:16:30,632 --> 00:16:32,349
I guess that makes you happy.
475
00:16:32,351 --> 00:16:34,668
You're right... we are jokes of men.
476
00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,874
I can't even figure out how to make
this ice cream from "it's complicated".
477
00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:40,143
Because... shocker It's complicated.
478
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,297
Look at this soupy mess.
479
00:16:44,331 --> 00:16:46,716
How am I supposed to do
anything in this tiny kitchen?
480
00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:47,784
[Clatter]
481
00:16:51,055 --> 00:16:53,022
482
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:58,177
Mmmmmm.
483
00:17:01,882 --> 00:17:02,965
[Door closes]
484
00:17:03,016 --> 00:17:04,016
Hey.
485
00:17:07,871 --> 00:17:08,871
Where's Zoey?
486
00:17:08,906 --> 00:17:10,606
At a coffee shop...
487
00:17:10,608 --> 00:17:13,075
probably looking at other schools online.
488
00:17:13,077 --> 00:17:15,428
I made her hate Brown.
489
00:17:15,479 --> 00:17:17,346
Oh.
490
00:17:17,348 --> 00:17:19,365
I'd like to take some credit for that,
491
00:17:19,416 --> 00:17:21,384
but sounds like you brought it home.
492
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:23,436
I pushed her too hard. I did.
493
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:25,872
I just... I wanted her to love
it as much as I love it.
494
00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:30,026
I just have... I have
so many great memories.
495
00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:32,078
[Springs creak]
496
00:17:32,129 --> 00:17:34,497
So many great memories.
497
00:17:34,531 --> 00:17:37,700
How... Many... Memories, exactly?
498
00:17:37,751 --> 00:17:40,436
Enough for... a basketball team?
499
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,104
- I'm serious, Dre.
- Okay. [Chuckles]
500
00:17:42,139 --> 00:17:45,448
I just don't want her to not want
to come here because I'm a dork.
501
00:17:45,499 --> 00:17:47,166
Oh, baby.
502
00:17:47,168 --> 00:17:48,717
it really bothers me.
503
00:17:50,971 --> 00:17:52,405
I love dorks.
504
00:17:52,407 --> 00:17:54,006
[Chuckles] Stop.
505
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,224
Come on.
506
00:17:55,258 --> 00:17:57,993
Thank you, sweetie. Thank you.
507
00:17:58,028 --> 00:18:00,379
I really want her to come here.
508
00:18:00,381 --> 00:18:02,348
- Hey.
- What?
509
00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:04,116
Can we make some memories?
510
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:05,835
[Springs creak] [Laughs]
511
00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:07,970
[Both laugh]
512
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:12,124
Un-break my heart
513
00:18:12,158 --> 00:18:16,528
Say you'll love me again
514
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:20,349
Un-cry these tears
515
00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:23,986
I cried so many nights
516
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:25,421
[Music stops] Can I talk to you?
517
00:18:25,455 --> 00:18:27,256
What? You came to gloat?
518
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,341
I came to say I was wrong.
519
00:18:31,161 --> 00:18:32,361
I'm listening.
520
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,214
So, I know you got your heart broken today,
521
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:37,483
and some people will say that
makes you a joke of a man,
522
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,701
but... Don't listen.
523
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,386
You're like homemade ice cream.
524
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,288
It's a soupy mess right now,
525
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,908
but don't give up on it, because one day,
526
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,360
someone is going to love that ice cream.
527
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:52,882
Charles.
528
00:18:53,701 --> 00:18:56,133
Diane, I have to be honest with you.
529
00:18:56,184 --> 00:18:57,568
I'm a Popsicle dude.
530
00:18:59,371 --> 00:19:01,539
I think she was talking about you.
531
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,557
I'm glad you thought so, too.
532
00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:05,726
I was only 50% sure.
533
00:19:06,695 --> 00:19:07,945
[Sighs]
534
00:19:07,996 --> 00:19:09,363
Hey.
535
00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:11,349
Look at that... I got you something.
536
00:19:11,383 --> 00:19:13,768
Dad, I'm not sure if I want this.
537
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,853
Okay, look.
538
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,421
I know better than everyone
539
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:19,924
how unbearable your mother
can be about her college,
540
00:19:19,975 --> 00:19:22,476
but you shouldn't write Brown off.
541
00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:24,562
It's a fantastic college.
542
00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:27,414
And if it had any part in
making your mother so amazing...
543
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,750
because we know
her mother did not...
544
00:19:29,801 --> 00:19:30,835
[Chuckles]
545
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,603
You would be a fool not to apply.
546
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:37,208
Then why have you been pushing
California schools so hard?
547
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,959
Is it because you're afraid to fly?
548
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,845
I hate flying. All right?
549
00:19:40,879 --> 00:19:43,197
But I will get over that for you.
550
00:19:43,231 --> 00:19:47,368
But what I can't get over
is you being 3 Miles away from me,
551
00:19:47,419 --> 00:19:51,021
let alone 3,000 Miles away.
552
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,774
But that's my problem, not yours.
553
00:19:53,825 --> 00:19:55,025
Okay?
554
00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:56,260
Okay.
555
00:19:56,294 --> 00:19:57,628
Pilot: Our flight duration today
556
00:19:57,662 --> 00:20:00,130
is going to be 5
hours and 38 minutes.
557
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,882
I didn't... I didn't take my pills.
558
00:20:01,933 --> 00:20:03,767
I don't... I don't... I
don't think I can do this.
559
00:20:03,802 --> 00:20:05,552
Okay, yes, you can, Dad.
560
00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:06,603
I got you.
561
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,106
[Shakily] Okay.
562
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,107
Okay.
563
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:11,942
You can do this.
564
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,527
I know.
565
00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:15,579
Hey, uh...
566
00:20:15,613 --> 00:20:16,780
Well, do you think it'd be cool
567
00:20:16,831 --> 00:20:18,949
if I just held on to your hand for a...
568
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,083
A few more years?
569
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:21,835
Sure, Dad.
570
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,588
Aah! Oh, we're all gonna die!
571
00:20:24,622 --> 00:20:26,123
We're all gonna die! Ooh!
572
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:28,258
Oh, Jesus! What's wrong with my seat?!
573
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:29,510
What's wrong with my seat?!
We aren't even moving.
574
00:20:29,544 --> 00:20:33,463
Where's my airplane candy?!
Where's my airplane candy?!
575
00:20:33,465 --> 00:20:35,119
I want my mama!
576
00:20:38,418 --> 00:20:39,384
Dominique.
577
00:20:39,419 --> 00:20:41,169
I thought I'd never see you again.
578
00:20:41,379 --> 00:20:43,012
You were so mad.
579
00:20:43,048 --> 00:20:46,282
I was, but then I realized
how much I care about you.
580
00:20:46,318 --> 00:20:47,450
Care?
581
00:20:47,485 --> 00:20:48,618
Or are you out of money?
582
00:20:48,653 --> 00:20:50,553
[Sighs] Does it matter?
583
00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:51,754
No.
584
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,222
Let's go to Catalina.
585
00:20:53,258 --> 00:20:54,324
Ooh!
586
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:55,291
[Both laugh]
587
00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:56,626
[ Engine revving]
588
00:20:56,661 --> 00:20:57,660
[Door closes]
589
00:20:59,331 --> 00:21:00,530
Dad?
590
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:02,714
591
00:21:02,764 --> 00:21:07,314
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