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Dre: There are some things
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black people don't like to talk about,
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00:00:03,819 --> 00:00:05,877
like if O.J. really did it,
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the proper amount of suit buttons,
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and we never talk about...
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I hate these blurred lines
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- How much we love Robin Thicke.
- Guys!
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[Music stops] I love Robin
Thicke, too. Uhh!
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- He a'ight.
- I wasn't even really listening.
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I don't know who that is.
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Another thing a lot of black people
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don't like to talk about
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is the gay people in their family.
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Take my baby sister Rhonda.She's gay... I think.
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She lives in a one-bedroom apartment
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with her friend Sharon... Who's a mechanic,
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and their cat, Kitty Lang.
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So, yeah, she's definitely gay.
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And I'm cool with that. Of course,
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she never told me directlybecause we don't talk about it,
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and my mom... she really
doesn't talk about it.
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- Hey, baby girl! [Laughs]
- Aw!
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Oh, good, you brought
your mechanic roommate.
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[Chuckles]
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Like, really, really doesn't talk about it.
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[Bell dings]
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- Hey, y'all.
- Hey.
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- Hey.
- Well, look who's practicing cookin'.
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I'm not practicing.
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I'm making breakfast for my children.
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- Oh, God. Oh, you keep practicing.
- Oh.
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- Okay, Ruby, all right.
- Rhonda, why don't you take a plate
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- out to your mechanic friend?
- [Mouth full] Do I have to?
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Well, she's probably hungry.
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She's out there changing
the oil on my Lincoln.
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You know what? You're right, Mom.
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I'm gonna do that for you,
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because I don't want
your car to break down,
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because I love you.
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Aw. [Chuckles]
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Mm. I see what you're doing.
Mother's Day is coming,
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so you're trying to get some brownie points
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for having your friend
Sharon work on mom's car.
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[Whispers] It's not going to work.
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Well, I know you think you're her favorite,
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because she breastfed
you until you were... eight.
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Six. All right? It was a two-year wean.
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I was underweight, so
I had to jump back on.
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Oh, you know you ain't
never been underweight.
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Hey. I'm still your
favorite, right, Mother?
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Oh, come on, now.
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Y'all know rankings don't
come out until December.
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- [Chuckles]
- Mm-hmm.
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Okay. [Toast thuds]
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Mm! Even the toast.
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Check you later, bro.
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- All right, Sis.
- Thank you.
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You're welcome. Sorry about that.
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Dre...
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Rhonda has been with Sharon for years.
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I can't believe your mom still
thinks she's her roommate.
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00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,608
Well, technically, they are roommates.
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00:02:05,642 --> 00:02:07,010
Well, then technically, we're roommates,
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and you owe me $5 for
drinking all the milk.
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00:02:09,783 --> 00:02:11,200
Well, if I give you $5, will you promise
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that we don't have to talk about this?
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Dre, what's the worst
thing that could happen
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00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:17,271
if you actually said the
words "Rhonda is gay"?
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What's the best thing that could happen?
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- Hmm?
- [Under breath] Auntie Rhonda is gay?
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Seriously, Dre, it's like your family has
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a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
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Oh, no, no, no, we're way nicer than that.
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It's "please don't ask, please don't tell,"
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and it works for us.
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- Okay, Bow.
- Huh?
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Don't rock the boat.
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Pssh! I don't rock boats.
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- [Screaming]
- What are you doing?! What are you doing?!
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Don't make me... [laughs]
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I just think you should
talk to your sister more.
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I mean, you're missing
out, 'cause I hang out
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with Sharon and Rhonda all the time,
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and it's amazing. We talk about everything.
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There are so many inside
jokes you don't even know.
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Mm-hmm? I mean...
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[Laughs] Erykah ba-don't.
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[Laughs] "Don't." Rhonda's crazy.
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[Laughs]
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00:03:01,301 --> 00:03:03,502
Yeah, grove on Sunday? I'm free all day.
92
00:03:03,587 --> 00:03:05,721
Hey, look what I made mom for Mother's Day.
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Oh. Right. Sunday's Mother's Day.
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I guess I can't hang out.
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00:03:11,061 --> 00:03:12,815
You are so lucky your mom's missing.
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00:03:12,935 --> 00:03:14,686
I thought we were getting
her something together.
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I decided to go solo.
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I'm tired of splitting mom's love.
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Well, good luck getting any love with this.
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What's wrong with it?
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If mom wanted dry pasta on cardboard,
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she'd go to macaroni grill.
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Guys, guess what.
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Auntie Rhonda... gay!
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So what else should I get mom?
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Diane: Oh, now you want my help?
107
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Uh, why isn't anyone else surprised?
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Because we all knew.
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Dude, auntie Rhonda lives
in a one-bedroom apartment
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with her girlfriend.
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Since when is it gay to save money on rent?
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Wow, your gaydar is
seriously broken. [Groans]
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- What's "gaydar"?
- Dude, really?
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You can't even piece it together?
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It's two words combined,
and one of them's "radar."
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Yeah, this is pretty basic stuff.
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Oh, my God.
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I just got "hamburglar"! [Exhales]
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"Bromance"? "Chillax"?
120
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"Spanglish"! [Laughs]
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'Sup, boss? You look bothered.
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No, man, just some family stuff.
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Bow doesn't think I'm close enough
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to my sister, who's gay.
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Whoa. Been there.
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I got a brother.
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He's not gay or nothin',
but we got our issues.
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- Mm-hmm?
- Yet and still
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I was the best man
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at he and his lifelong roommate Gustavo's
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health insurance consolidation party
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last summer on fire island.
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That sounds like a gay wedding.
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00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,489
Whoa, watch your mouth there, youngster.
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00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:36,208
That's my not-gay brother
you're talking 'bout there.
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00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,427
It seems that if he wasn't gay,
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you wouldn't have to keep
telling us how not gay he is.
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Don't you got, like, some
coffee or something
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you need to be going to
get? This kid here, right?
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00:04:46,869 --> 00:04:49,988
All right, it's been great
visiting the 1950s.
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00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:51,857
I'm gonna go to my cubicle
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and, uh, somehow make
less money than you guys.
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You get it, Charlie.
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Damn right I get it, unlike gym shoe there.
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Bow thinks Rhonda and I don't talk enough.
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00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,799
She's gon' rock the boat.
147
00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:04,086
Well, then, you know, you
You just gotta show Bow
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00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:06,439
how comfortable you are
talking to your sister.
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00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,908
- That'll calm her down.
- You're right.
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00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,876
We don't rock boats, Dre.
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Drowning is one of the worst deaths.
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It goes fire, drowning...
[Lowered voice] Then bees.
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Eh...
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[Sighs]
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[Under breath] I can't believe
I'm listening to this fool.
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00:05:22,538 --> 00:05:23,607
[Dog barking in distance]
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Look alive! Whoa! Oh!
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00:05:26,975 --> 00:05:30,361
Oh, God. I always forget
to say that earlier.
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I brought cold brewskis.
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00:05:31,947 --> 00:05:32,746
- Hey!
- Oh!
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Because all lesbians love beer?
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Uh... And apparently scaring people.
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00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,822
- By the way, though, this Buick??�s sweet.
- Uh-huh.
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00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,290
You guys, let's go drink
these somewhere else.
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00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:44,126
I'm-a blame the broken
window on one of the kids.
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[Laughter]
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Mm! Mm!
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00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,864
So what's going on with you guys?
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What else is happening?
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00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,134
- Hmm?
- Nothing.
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00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,252
Nothing?
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00:05:53,303 --> 00:05:55,271
Come on. Yo!
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You can talk to me. We have jokes.
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00:05:58,075 --> 00:05:59,325
Erykah ba-don't.
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00:05:59,376 --> 00:06:02,094
What? [Laughs]
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00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,512
Wait. What are you talking about?
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00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:06,665
That's our joke. Erykah... no?
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00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,950
[Chuckles] No. That's not us?
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00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:11,937
Oh. Nurse Larry. Nurse
Larry's crazy. [Laughs]
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00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,473
More like Erykah ba-don't! [Laughs]
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00:06:14,558 --> 00:06:16,383
What? [Telephone ringing in distance]
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00:06:16,503 --> 00:06:18,421
Who do I do this with?
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00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:20,540
No, but seriously, guys, what's going on?
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I feel like you're hiding
something from me.
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00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:24,944
Come on! I know you're
not telling me something.
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00:06:24,995 --> 00:06:27,597
- Tell me, tell me, tell me.
- We're getting married.
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00:06:27,681 --> 00:06:28,836
Dude, not cool.
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00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,094
What?
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00:06:30,603 --> 00:06:33,036
That's wonderful! That's so wonderful!
190
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,587
Why would you not tell me that?
191
00:06:34,639 --> 00:06:36,923
I don't know. We just wanted to
keep it, you know, real low-key.
192
00:06:36,974 --> 00:06:40,009
No, you wanna keep it low-key.
193
00:06:40,094 --> 00:06:43,997
Look, it's not about you guys.
It's... it's... it's about mom.
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00:06:44,048 --> 00:06:46,800
'Cause if I invite you and Dre,
then I have to invite her,
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00:06:46,884 --> 00:06:48,435
and... That would be a disaster.
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00:06:48,469 --> 00:06:51,321
Wait. Rhonda, you really think
your mom is that closed off
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00:06:51,405 --> 00:06:52,236
that she wouldn't be excited
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00:06:52,356 --> 00:06:54,206
about a big life moment like this?
199
00:06:54,241 --> 00:06:55,491
Uh, my mom is so homophobic,
200
00:06:55,575 --> 00:06:57,843
she wouldn't let Dre eat
bananas when he was a kid.
201
00:06:59,012 --> 00:07:02,314
[Slap] Not in my house.
202
00:07:02,349 --> 00:07:04,483
[Grunts]
203
00:07:04,534 --> 00:07:05,480
- [Whispers] Wow.
- Oh. Wow.
204
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,317
It's just not worth the drama.
205
00:07:07,402 --> 00:07:09,119
Listen, I understand not telling your mom,
206
00:07:09,153 --> 00:07:11,555
but don't you think that
Dre would wanna know?
207
00:07:11,622 --> 00:07:14,140
Granted, he's not the greatest listener.
208
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,260
You know, he just kind of, like,
smiles and nods sometimes.
209
00:07:17,345 --> 00:07:19,829
You don't know if he's
processing anything...
210
00:07:19,864 --> 00:07:21,665
are you listening to me?
211
00:07:21,699 --> 00:07:23,250
Yeah, that was great.
212
00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:24,584
Yeah, she really is listening.
213
00:07:24,669 --> 00:07:25,635
She's just thinking about dodgeball.
214
00:07:25,670 --> 00:07:26,803
- That's what she does.
- Oh, my God.
215
00:07:26,888 --> 00:07:28,605
We really are with the same person.
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00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:29,906
- Yeah.
- [Laughs]
217
00:07:29,941 --> 00:07:33,293
- I'm having another beer.
- What?
218
00:07:33,377 --> 00:07:35,045
[Both laugh]
219
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:38,130
What's going on?
220
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,518
When mom sees your present,
she's going to give you away,
221
00:07:40,602 --> 00:07:43,120
so I'm just checking if I have
room in here for a balance beam.
222
00:07:43,154 --> 00:07:45,489
Not so fast. I emptied my piggy bank
223
00:07:45,540 --> 00:07:47,007
and got some new things.
224
00:07:47,092 --> 00:07:49,009
[Sighs] Fine. What did you get her?
225
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,145
Does this say, "I love you"?
226
00:07:51,229 --> 00:07:54,114
That's nice... If you wanna
get put up for adoption.
227
00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:56,083
A homemade coupon book?
228
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:58,202
She's going to love that.
229
00:07:58,253 --> 00:08:00,977
You mind holding this for me?
230
00:08:01,097 --> 00:08:03,182
[Whirs] 145.
231
00:08:03,266 --> 00:08:05,734
Perfect! Even got room for a trampoline.
232
00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:07,202
Move to the side.
233
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,954
- Hey.
- Hey.
234
00:08:09,038 --> 00:08:12,174
You know, Charlie made a
really good point today.
235
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:12,955
[Chuckles] Oh, really?
236
00:08:13,075 --> 00:08:16,645
Mm-hmm. He said that I
should talk to Rhonda.
237
00:08:17,602 --> 00:08:19,266
Dre, I've been saying that for years.
238
00:08:19,386 --> 00:08:20,603
So you agree with Charlie.
239
00:08:20,687 --> 00:08:21,575
- [Sighs]
- Hey, y'all.
240
00:08:21,695 --> 00:08:24,400
- Hey, Sis. You hungry?
- I could eat.
241
00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:25,584
- Bow.
- Hmm?
242
00:08:25,669 --> 00:08:27,036
Can you give us a minute?
243
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:28,378
I'm gonna do that Charlie thing.
244
00:08:28,498 --> 00:08:29,581
- Oh, the Charlie thing.
- Mm-hmm.
245
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:30,632
- Okay.
- All right.
246
00:08:30,667 --> 00:08:31,600
[Under breath] Charlie thing.
247
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:34,436
So... You good?
248
00:08:34,521 --> 00:08:36,905
[Utensils clatter] Yeah, I'm good.
249
00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:39,241
[Clears throat] You know, just doing me.
250
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:40,492
- Okay.
- You good?
251
00:08:40,577 --> 00:08:42,146
Yeah, you know, robbing Peter to pay Paul.
252
00:08:42,266 --> 00:08:44,184
Well, you know, one monkey
don't stop no show.
253
00:08:44,268 --> 00:08:45,702
Ha! You ain't gotta tell me that.
254
00:08:45,736 --> 00:08:48,121
And if I had your hand, I'd cut mine off.
255
00:08:48,205 --> 00:08:50,457
Shoot, I'm just trying to make
a dollar out of 15 cents.
256
00:08:50,541 --> 00:08:51,374
Well, I'm waiting on my rich uncle
257
00:08:51,494 --> 00:08:53,495
- to come out of the poorhouse.
- Good luck with that.
258
00:08:53,562 --> 00:08:54,712
- [Chuckles]
- Stay up.
259
00:08:54,797 --> 00:08:56,598
That's all I can do.
260
00:08:56,632 --> 00:08:58,216
Yeah. There you go right there.
261
00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,384
Thank you. Mm-hmm.
262
00:08:59,468 --> 00:09:00,435
Peace.
263
00:09:02,071 --> 00:09:03,538
- Boom!
- What the hell, Dre?
264
00:09:03,572 --> 00:09:04,983
- You didn't say anything.
- What?
265
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:06,803
I said, "if I had your
hand, I'd cut mine off,"
266
00:09:06,888 --> 00:09:08,772
she said she's trying to
make a dollar out of 15.
267
00:09:08,806 --> 00:09:10,273
Do you not see the sandwich we made?
268
00:09:10,325 --> 00:09:11,775
Are you kidding?
269
00:09:11,859 --> 00:09:13,443
Oh, I'm sorry if they don't talk that way
270
00:09:13,494 --> 00:09:14,578
in Light Skinned-Sylvania.
271
00:09:14,612 --> 00:09:15,829
- My bad.
- Great.
272
00:09:15,913 --> 00:09:17,330
Another joke about my skin tone,
273
00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:18,455
but you can't talk to your sister?
274
00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:19,875
Hey, hey, hey,
275
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,161
your airy-fairy family has
one way of doing things,
276
00:09:22,212 --> 00:09:24,797
and my highly functional
family does it different.
277
00:09:24,881 --> 00:09:26,799
Oh, really? And did your
highly functional family
278
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:28,967
cover the fact that Rhonda and Sharon
279
00:09:29,052 --> 00:09:31,545
- are getting married?
- Uh...
280
00:09:31,665 --> 00:09:33,299
and they didn't invite you?
281
00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:36,269
[Dog barking in distance]
282
00:09:36,336 --> 00:09:38,304
Well, she did say, "one monkey
don't stop no show."
283
00:09:38,338 --> 00:09:40,173
I don't know.
284
00:09:40,257 --> 00:09:41,591
- Maybe?
- Dre...
285
00:09:41,675 --> 00:09:44,043
This is real, and she didn't mention it
286
00:09:44,163 --> 00:09:46,298
because she didn't want Ruby to know.
287
00:09:46,332 --> 00:09:48,500
[Scoffs] My sister's not scared of my mom.
288
00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:49,835
That's crazy.
289
00:09:49,919 --> 00:09:51,887
Hey. What's for dinner? [Banana thuds]
290
00:09:51,971 --> 00:09:52,702
Oh, hmm.
291
00:09:52,822 --> 00:09:54,239
- Oh, this looks good.
- Mm-hmm.
292
00:09:54,323 --> 00:09:56,491
- Bow, you make this?
- I did not make the sandwich, Ruby.
293
00:09:56,575 --> 00:09:57,826
She bought the meat, though.
294
00:10:02,081 --> 00:10:03,498
Uh-huh.
295
00:10:03,582 --> 00:10:06,301
[Mutters]
296
00:10:08,677 --> 00:10:10,910
But let's talk about the actor
who would play the burglar.
297
00:10:10,994 --> 00:10:12,545
Now is there any objection
298
00:10:12,629 --> 00:10:14,964
to him being a large African-American man
299
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,315
in an Obama mask?
300
00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:17,156
Get the...
301
00:10:17,276 --> 00:10:18,193
- Dre? Dre?
- Hmm?
302
00:10:18,277 --> 00:10:19,394
This is typically the kind of thing
303
00:10:19,479 --> 00:10:21,246
that you like to weigh in on, and, frankly,
304
00:10:21,314 --> 00:10:23,765
your opinion saves us millions in lawsuits.
305
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,707
- That's true.
- Guys, I'm sorry. I'm over here thinking
306
00:10:25,827 --> 00:10:30,205
about my sister. Her and her girlfriend
didn't invite me to their wedding.
307
00:10:30,289 --> 00:10:31,706
Oh, your... your sister's gay?
308
00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:33,508
His sister's gay, but my brother isn't.
309
00:10:33,593 --> 00:10:34,860
- What?
- No.
310
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,012
Yes, she's gay, and I'm cool with it.
311
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:39,564
It's just something that
we don't talk about.
312
00:10:39,649 --> 00:10:41,032
Dre, you've got to get with the times.
313
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:43,118
I mean, I myself am an avid supporter
314
00:10:43,202 --> 00:10:44,302
of gay rights,
315
00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:45,420
ever since the big fella kissed the ginger
316
00:10:45,505 --> 00:10:47,389
- on "Modern Family."
- Love them.
317
00:10:47,473 --> 00:10:48,323
So for three years?
318
00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:50,110
Yeah, give or take. Before that,
319
00:10:50,194 --> 00:10:52,596
I had some unspeakable
bumper stickers on my car.
320
00:10:52,664 --> 00:10:54,581
Your sister really needs your support.
321
00:10:54,666 --> 00:10:56,683
I can't even imagine how
hard it would have been
322
00:10:56,768 --> 00:10:58,986
if my family hadn't been there
for me when I came out.
323
00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:01,371
- Oh?
- What? Oh, hey, now... Uh...
324
00:11:01,406 --> 00:11:05,075
- Are you a lesbian?
- Well, I mean, I went to a women's college,
325
00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:08,512
so I was a L.U.G. Lesbian Until Graduation?
326
00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:10,814
- Awesome.
- Really?
327
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:11,815
Huh?
328
00:11:11,899 --> 00:11:12,843
- The floor is yours.
- Okay.
329
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:15,799
So it's really hot to hear
about me and my roommate
330
00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,785
- trading shy winks across the room...
- Uh-huh.
331
00:11:18,869 --> 00:11:22,205
Braiding each other's hair,
getting snowed-in together.
332
00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:25,842
- Just speak into the mic.
- See? That's what I'm talking about.
333
00:11:25,926 --> 00:11:27,108
Lesbians are fine in theory,
334
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,646
but you don't wanna talk to
your own sister about her life.
335
00:11:29,697 --> 00:11:30,864
And, Dre, by not talking to her,
336
00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,499
you're actually passing judgment on her.
337
00:11:32,583 --> 00:11:33,444
So you're saying I'll never
338
00:11:33,564 --> 00:11:35,899
have a full relationship with my sister
339
00:11:35,983 --> 00:11:38,868
until I let her know that
I'm cool with who she is?
340
00:11:38,953 --> 00:11:40,086
Yeah, exactly.
341
00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:43,223
- Okay, well, that makes...
- No.
342
00:11:43,307 --> 00:11:46,025
I think my brother and his husband are gay!
343
00:11:48,829 --> 00:11:50,997
You guys feel like we're
done with this meeting?
344
00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:52,465
Aah!
345
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:54,000
"S"!
346
00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:57,437
- Okay, an "S." All right. Okay.
- "S"!
347
00:11:57,488 --> 00:11:59,789
- Oh!
- Okay.
348
00:11:59,874 --> 00:12:02,208
- All right.
- Let's see it. Right here. It's easy.
349
00:12:02,293 --> 00:12:03,710
This should be like nothing
for you right now.
350
00:12:03,761 --> 00:12:05,228
- So how you doing?
- You know.
351
00:12:05,312 --> 00:12:07,063
I'm happy to be blinkin' and breathin'.
352
00:12:07,147 --> 00:12:09,866
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, but I'm serious.
353
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:13,219
How are you doing?
Planning a wedding?
354
00:12:14,662 --> 00:12:17,831
Wow. I can't believe Bow told you.
355
00:12:17,865 --> 00:12:19,516
Ha. Of course she did.
356
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,634
Hell, she thought we were
gonna talk about it earlier,
357
00:12:20,685 --> 00:12:22,102
but we made that sandwich.
358
00:12:22,136 --> 00:12:24,571
That sandwich was bomb, and
we should make another one.
359
00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:28,251
- Come on.
- Hey, hey, Rhonda. Rhonda, Rhonda. Come on.
360
00:12:28,371 --> 00:12:31,815
Yeah, yeah. Um, I'm
sorry I didn't invite you.
361
00:12:31,935 --> 00:12:32,687
You know, it's just that...
362
00:12:32,807 --> 00:12:34,691
Hey, you don't owe me an explanation.
363
00:12:34,742 --> 00:12:37,767
This is on me. Look, I know
I wasn't as supportive
364
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:39,087
as I should have been
365
00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:41,890
about you going through
your lesbian-ification.
366
00:12:41,941 --> 00:12:42,810
No, Dre, no, no, no.
367
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,831
So you just can't become lesbian-ified.
368
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:48,067
- Huh?
- You... you gotta be born lesbian-ic.
369
00:12:48,152 --> 00:12:50,086
Ah see? Thank you. Now
I know the right words.
370
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:51,421
You're welcome.
371
00:12:51,505 --> 00:12:52,705
You know, I'm happy you found somebody.
372
00:12:52,756 --> 00:12:54,057
You know, you and Sharon
are great together.
373
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:56,893
- Oh, I really appreciate that.
- Hmm.
374
00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:00,730
So... Sharon and I's wedding is in June,
375
00:13:00,814 --> 00:13:04,741
and we would really love it
if you and Bow would come.
376
00:13:04,861 --> 00:13:06,194
But wait a minute.
377
00:13:06,229 --> 00:13:08,446
This does not conflict with
the NBA finals, does it?
378
00:13:08,531 --> 00:13:09,948
This is a lesbian wedding.
379
00:13:10,032 --> 00:13:12,334
This is not gonna conflict with no finals.
380
00:13:12,418 --> 00:13:14,719
- Ah!
- Take the shot to get this "E" and lose!
381
00:13:14,804 --> 00:13:16,588
I had made a breakthrough.
382
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:19,341
Rhonda and I had never been closer,
383
00:13:19,392 --> 00:13:21,743
and I couldn't wait to share the love.
384
00:13:21,777 --> 00:13:24,112
Erykah ba-don't, right?
385
00:13:24,196 --> 00:13:25,530
No? [Glass clinking]
386
00:13:25,614 --> 00:13:26,950
- Is it just me?
- Yeah, it's you.
387
00:13:27,070 --> 00:13:27,997
You guys don't get it?
388
00:13:28,117 --> 00:13:29,260
All right, everyone, I'd
like to propose a toast.
389
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:32,432
All right, it feels good to have
everyone here for Mother's Day,
390
00:13:32,517 --> 00:13:35,319
but today isn't just about mothers.
391
00:13:35,353 --> 00:13:36,569
It's also about sisters.
392
00:13:36,689 --> 00:13:37,392
Since when?
393
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,885
Rhonda, I feel like I've missed
out on so much of your life
394
00:13:40,005 --> 00:13:42,136
that I don't want anyone
else to miss out, so...
395
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:42,871
Dre...
396
00:13:42,991 --> 00:13:44,241
To Rhonda and Sharon!
397
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:47,878
Why is he toasting her
mechanic at my brunch?
398
00:13:47,929 --> 00:13:49,847
- It's our... Brunch.
- Mama...
399
00:13:49,931 --> 00:13:52,349
Sharon isn't just Rhonda's mechanic.
400
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:56,120
Sharon... is Rhonda's girlfriend.
401
00:13:57,339 --> 00:13:59,206
- Wow. Really?
- Dre: Huh?
402
00:13:59,291 --> 00:14:01,091
- Right now, dude?
- Sis, Sis, I got this.
403
00:14:01,126 --> 00:14:03,310
It's time that we all stop pretending.
404
00:14:03,395 --> 00:14:06,300
Mother, your daughter is
as gay as the day is long.
405
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:07,870
Hmm, I'm pretty sure
that I could have found
406
00:14:07,955 --> 00:14:09,088
a more sensitive way to say that.
407
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:10,173
- No, you nailed it.
- I did?
408
00:14:10,257 --> 00:14:11,758
- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.
409
00:14:11,842 --> 00:14:12,975
- I can't believe this is happening right now.
- Listen, listen.
410
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:15,478
Rhonda is not gay, fool. [Laughs]
411
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:19,398
She's just waiting for God to
make a man she's attracted to,
412
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,234
- that's all, kids.
- Okay, okay.
413
00:14:21,285 --> 00:14:24,120
Come on, Mom. We all know
that that's not gonna happen.
414
00:14:24,204 --> 00:14:26,706
- Rhonda and Sharon are in love.
- Okay.
415
00:14:26,757 --> 00:14:27,637
[Clink] And they're getting married!
416
00:14:27,757 --> 00:14:29,608
- Mnh-mnh.
- [Laughs] Drink up!
417
00:14:29,693 --> 00:14:30,776
Yay! [Glass clinks]
418
00:14:30,860 --> 00:14:32,394
- Don't say that. Don't say that.
- What?
419
00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:33,612
- Mnh-mnh.
- Mama.
420
00:14:33,697 --> 00:14:35,731
- Mnh-mnh!
- What's happening?
421
00:14:35,815 --> 00:14:36,899
- Mnh-mnh!
- Congratulations.
422
00:14:36,950 --> 00:14:37,938
Unh-unh, not my family.
423
00:14:38,058 --> 00:14:39,392
- Not in my family!
- Please. Mama, no, listen. Please.
424
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:40,393
- Please listen.
- Not gay, not gay,
425
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,111
- not my baby.
- Mama, mama...
426
00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:43,279
Mama! Mama! No!
427
00:14:43,363 --> 00:14:44,037
- Oh, God.
- It's not about that.
428
00:14:44,157 --> 00:14:46,659
Black Jesus! Black Jesus, help me!
429
00:14:46,693 --> 00:14:48,027
[Wailing] What the hell
do you think you're doing?
430
00:14:48,111 --> 00:14:49,194
I... Rhonda, I...
431
00:14:49,245 --> 00:14:52,531
- Aah!
- No! Oh!
432
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,382
Sharon...
433
00:14:53,502 --> 00:14:55,417
It was a nice brunch. [Whispers]
Happy Mother's Day.
434
00:14:55,502 --> 00:14:59,872
- [Ruby sobbing loudly]
- Whoa!
435
00:14:59,923 --> 00:15:04,426
Back it up. Auntie Sharon's gay, too?!
436
00:15:04,511 --> 00:15:06,045
Diane: Unbelievable.
437
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,774
[sighs] Thanks a lot, Bow.
438
00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:13,243
Definitely the right move to rock the boat.
439
00:15:13,277 --> 00:15:15,078
I told you to rock the boat, Dre,
440
00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,713
not steer it into an iceberg.
441
00:15:16,797 --> 00:15:17,814
Mm-hmm.
442
00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:19,933
Yo, bro! Are you out your mind?
443
00:15:20,017 --> 00:15:22,018
Who in the hell are you to out me to mom?
444
00:15:22,103 --> 00:15:24,404
Rhonda, I saw this playing out differently.
445
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,256
Look, I saw myself as the hero,
446
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:27,424
you know, cheers, ticker tape,
447
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:28,975
sitting in the back of a convertible.
448
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:31,164
[Sighs] Okay. You're right. I
shouldn't have said anything.
449
00:15:31,284 --> 00:15:32,501
Well, it's too late now.
450
00:15:32,586 --> 00:15:34,470
You can't put the toothpaste
back in the tube.
451
00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:38,524
[Sighs] Sharon and I are leaving... Soon.
452
00:15:38,558 --> 00:15:41,027
Ironically, we're having a
little bit of car trouble.
453
00:15:41,111 --> 00:15:43,062
[Sighs heavily]
454
00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:44,063
[Dog barking in distance]
455
00:15:44,131 --> 00:15:46,132
Mom?
456
00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:49,735
Mom, look.
457
00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:53,038
I'm sorry that it went
down the way that it did.
458
00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:57,510
It's okay, baby. It's my fault anyway.
459
00:15:57,594 --> 00:16:01,063
The little boy that lived
next door was that way,
460
00:16:01,148 --> 00:16:02,756
and I let Rhonda play with him.
461
00:16:02,876 --> 00:16:04,151
That's not how that works
462
00:16:04,271 --> 00:16:06,178
or really what I'm talking about...
463
00:16:06,263 --> 00:16:08,764
Mom, it's your and Rhonda's decision
464
00:16:08,832 --> 00:16:11,367
whether you wanna talk about it or not.
465
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:14,570
If it works out for you
guys not to talk about it,
466
00:16:14,638 --> 00:16:15,972
then that's just fine.
467
00:16:16,056 --> 00:16:17,773
[Whispers] Thank you, baby.
468
00:16:17,858 --> 00:16:19,145
- [Loudly] Besides...
- What?
469
00:16:19,265 --> 00:16:21,700
You cannot argue with the Bible!
470
00:16:21,734 --> 00:16:25,504
The book of Leviticus
says it is an abomination.
471
00:16:25,538 --> 00:16:28,240
Uh, Leviticus also says the same thing
472
00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:30,776
about shellfish and polyester blends.
473
00:16:30,810 --> 00:16:33,495
Mm. Well, maybe she'll
grow out of this phase
474
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,813
if I take her to my prayer circle,
475
00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:37,184
and they all lay hands on her.
476
00:16:37,269 --> 00:16:39,294
[Prays in tongues]
477
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,061
Of course, that's mostly women.
478
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,715
That could do more harm than good.
479
00:16:43,799 --> 00:16:46,267
- Mom! It's not a phase. All right?
- Hmm.
480
00:16:46,352 --> 00:16:47,994
Rhonda is who she is,
481
00:16:48,114 --> 00:16:51,032
and I'm not asking you to change
how you vote or how you feel!
482
00:16:51,117 --> 00:16:53,335
- But this is your daughter.
- Mnh-mnh!
483
00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:55,003
- My sister.
- Mnh-mnh!
484
00:16:55,087 --> 00:16:58,523
And if you can't accept her,
then I can't accept you.
485
00:16:58,557 --> 00:17:00,325
Mnh
486
00:17:00,359 --> 00:17:04,896
then I suppose I have to
go and hug my grandbabies...
487
00:17:04,964 --> 00:17:07,332
- For the last time.
- [Sighs]
488
00:17:09,169 --> 00:17:12,270
But I am taking this shrimp.
489
00:17:12,304 --> 00:17:13,728
Gay or no gay...
490
00:17:13,848 --> 00:17:16,368
I'm taking this shrimp!
491
00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:17,604
What should I do?
492
00:17:17,689 --> 00:17:19,356
I still don't have anything to give mom.
493
00:17:19,407 --> 00:17:21,825
It's okay. I'll come visit
you at the orphanage.
494
00:17:21,860 --> 00:17:24,127
Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!
495
00:17:24,212 --> 00:17:25,879
- Oh!
- From me and only me.
496
00:17:25,964 --> 00:17:28,765
Oh, my goodness! Thank you, baby girl!
497
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:29,933
Can I open it?
498
00:17:29,968 --> 00:17:31,151
- Open it!
- [Squeals]
499
00:17:31,235 --> 00:17:34,604
[Squeals] Oh! Macaroni picture frame?
500
00:17:34,656 --> 00:17:37,357
- Oh! I love it!
- Elbow. Your favorite.
501
00:17:37,442 --> 00:17:40,160
- [Laughs] And a mug?
- Yes. My idea.
502
00:17:40,244 --> 00:17:41,378
Oh, my goodness.
503
00:17:41,412 --> 00:17:43,314
- [Gasps] A coupon book.
- A classic.
504
00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:44,996
- Sweetheart!
- [Lowered voice] Those are my gifts.
505
00:17:45,116 --> 00:17:47,025
- Have a little dignity, friend.
- Aw.
506
00:17:47,145 --> 00:17:48,319
You're better than this.
507
00:17:48,439 --> 00:17:50,003
It's the least I can do, Mommy,
508
00:17:50,123 --> 00:17:51,990
- because I love you.
- Aw.
509
00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:54,042
- Jack... Forgot.
- [Crying]
510
00:17:54,127 --> 00:17:56,995
I did forget, Mommy!
511
00:17:57,046 --> 00:17:57,657
Oh...
512
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,578
All I have is to tell you
how much I love you with...
513
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,947
[Sobs] This hug!
514
00:18:02,031 --> 00:18:05,417
Oh! Jack!
515
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:09,538
Listen, a hug is better than any gift.
516
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,374
Oh, sweetie.
517
00:18:16,837 --> 00:18:17,704
Well...
518
00:18:17,755 --> 00:18:19,039
Everybody's mad at me,
519
00:18:19,123 --> 00:18:21,091
and my mother is leaving, too.
520
00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:23,644
- Stop smiling, Bow.
- Okay.
521
00:18:23,764 --> 00:18:25,496
Look, I'm serious. This isn't a joke, Bow.
522
00:18:25,616 --> 00:18:27,213
She said she's never coming back.
523
00:18:27,264 --> 00:18:29,849
Not Christmas, not easter, ever.
524
00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:32,407
Stop dancing!
525
00:18:32,527 --> 00:18:34,387
Really? Bow, stop dancing.
526
00:18:34,438 --> 00:18:35,816
Okay.
527
00:18:35,936 --> 00:18:37,971
[Laughs] Oh.
528
00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:39,556
- What?
- As much as I wish that were true,
529
00:18:39,607 --> 00:18:41,274
I don't think we're getting
rid of her that easy.
530
00:18:41,358 --> 00:18:42,150
Look.
531
00:18:42,270 --> 00:18:44,188
- They're talking?
- They're talking.
532
00:18:44,272 --> 00:18:47,083
- I did that.
- Um, I think I did that.
533
00:18:47,203 --> 00:18:48,242
[High-pitched voice] Ahh-ahh!
534
00:18:48,276 --> 00:18:49,224
[Normal voice] Don't ruin the moment, Bow.
535
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:50,461
- Oh, okay.
- Okay?
536
00:18:50,545 --> 00:18:51,896
- Okay.
- I wonder what they're saying.
537
00:18:51,963 --> 00:18:54,465
Mm-hmm. [Imitating ruby]
"I love you, Rhonda."
538
00:18:54,549 --> 00:18:56,266
[Imitating rhonda] "I love you, too, Mom."
539
00:18:56,386 --> 00:19:00,423
"Aren't you glad Rainbow
told you to rock the boat?"
540
00:19:00,474 --> 00:19:02,603
Mm. Ooh. Ooh, ooh.
541
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:04,143
You do my mama good.
542
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,953
So? Are you coming to my wedding or not?
543
00:19:07,073 --> 00:19:09,441
Well, you're still my daughter.
544
00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,359
So I tell you what.
545
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:14,996
You send me an invitation,
and I'll open it.
546
00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:16,294
Ha. And I see it...
547
00:19:16,414 --> 00:19:18,241
Ha. And I'll be there.
548
00:19:18,361 --> 00:19:19,444
[Dog barking in distance]
549
00:19:19,478 --> 00:19:21,563
Well, if I have your address,
550
00:19:21,647 --> 00:19:25,283
and you still live there,
I wouldn't mind it.
551
00:19:25,318 --> 00:19:27,986
"I owe this all to Dre.
552
00:19:28,037 --> 00:19:30,474
I think his wife should
reward him with sex."
553
00:19:30,594 --> 00:19:31,761
- Really?
- Mm-hmm, yep.
554
00:19:31,845 --> 00:19:33,145
That's... that's what your
sister said to your mom?
555
00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,513
- Weird, right?
- That I should have sex with you?
556
00:19:34,598 --> 00:19:36,565
- I know. I know it's weird.
- So weird.
557
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,932
- But I can read lips.
- Okay.
558
00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:40,972
[ Chuckles ] I know you, baby.
559
00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:47,792
- Mm.
- Come on, reward me.
560
00:19:47,912 --> 00:19:50,444
[ Imitating Ruby ] Reward sex on its way.
561
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:55,681
562
00:19:55,731 --> 00:20:00,281
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