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1
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That's why I buy Quality garbage bags.
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00:00:01,684 --> 00:00:04,024
See, they got the drawstring
on 'em, they don't rip.
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- Yeah. - They cost a little
extra money, but it's worth it.
4
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_
5
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_
6
00:00:21,241 --> 00:00:22,625
A-rabs.
7
00:00:22,626 --> 00:00:24,192
Yeah.
8
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_
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00:00:28,832 --> 00:00:32,153
Yeah, where he learn how to speak
their language like that, man?
10
00:00:32,154 --> 00:00:34,154
Look at that scarf that
nigga's wearing, man.
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LLOYD: Yes.
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00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:37,540
That's one of them desert scarves.
13
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Wa alaikum as-salaam, my brother.
14
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You thinking what I'm thinking?
15
00:00:40,327 --> 00:00:41,995
Yes, I'm thinking what you're thinking!
16
00:00:41,996 --> 00:00:44,547
I think this nigga's a terrorist, man.
17
00:00:44,548 --> 00:00:45,747
Yep.
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Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
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00:01:15,946 --> 00:01:18,581
LLOYD: Oh, I can't believe
it! Al-Qaeda in Compton?
20
00:01:18,582 --> 00:01:20,784
And where'd the nigga learn
how to speak their language?
21
00:01:20,785 --> 00:01:22,836
Think about it. When's
the last time you met
22
00:01:22,837 --> 00:01:24,754
a nigga from Compton knew
how to speak terrorist?
23
00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:26,673
He... speaking that terrorist.
24
00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:27,757
Blah blah-blah blah blah-blah-blah.
25
00:01:27,758 --> 00:01:29,008
I heard it!
26
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:30,760
You consort with terrorists,
27
00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:33,046
that makes you a terrorist.
28
00:01:33,047 --> 00:01:35,882
Jesus H. Christ,
29
00:01:35,883 --> 00:01:37,967
radical Muslim terrorist.
30
00:01:37,968 --> 00:01:40,720
So what we gonna do? What we gonna do?
31
00:01:40,721 --> 00:01:43,022
You know, Lloyd,
32
00:01:43,023 --> 00:01:45,225
there's three type of people on the planet.
33
00:01:45,226 --> 00:01:47,060
The first type
34
00:01:47,061 --> 00:01:48,228
is the sheep.
35
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Sheep is weak.
36
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Sheep need to be led.
37
00:01:51,649 --> 00:01:54,651
Sheep believe that the police can save them
38
00:01:54,652 --> 00:01:56,035
all the way up until the moment
39
00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:58,037
they find out that it's too late.
40
00:01:58,038 --> 00:01:59,989
Oh... Yeah.
41
00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:01,624
And then there's the second type.
42
00:02:01,625 --> 00:02:03,159
The wolf.
43
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,245
The wolf preys on the sheep.
44
00:02:05,246 --> 00:02:06,913
The wolf is evil.
45
00:02:06,914 --> 00:02:08,414
Evil wolf.
46
00:02:08,415 --> 00:02:09,883
This is deep.
47
00:02:09,884 --> 00:02:12,418
And then there's the third type.
48
00:02:12,419 --> 00:02:13,887
The sheepdog.
49
00:02:13,888 --> 00:02:15,722
The sheepdog, Lloyd.
50
00:02:15,723 --> 00:02:16,923
He ain't afraid of the wolf.
51
00:02:16,924 --> 00:02:18,091
The sheepdog
52
00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:20,260
protects the sheep from the wolf.
53
00:02:20,261 --> 00:02:22,395
The sheepdog don't run from evil.
54
00:02:22,396 --> 00:02:23,930
He runs right up on that shit
55
00:02:23,931 --> 00:02:25,348
and confronts it.
56
00:02:25,349 --> 00:02:26,983
Wow.
57
00:02:26,984 --> 00:02:28,935
Okay, okay. Now who are we?
58
00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:30,186
(laughs)
59
00:02:30,187 --> 00:02:31,821
We're the sheepdog!
60
00:02:31,822 --> 00:02:32,939
Sheepdog?
61
00:02:32,940 --> 00:02:34,274
I thought we gonna be the sheep.
62
00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:36,109
Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm confused.
63
00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:37,360
We're the sheepdog.
64
00:02:37,361 --> 00:02:39,279
Okay? Okay, listen, nigga,
65
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,115
I'm gonna do it for you
one more time, all right?
66
00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:43,700
It's the sheepdog... Sheepdog.
67
00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:44,868
...the wolf... Wolf.
68
00:02:44,869 --> 00:02:46,119
...and the sheep. And sheep.
69
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,121
JASON: Man, Jesus, please tell me
70
00:02:48,122 --> 00:02:50,123
this ain't all God got
in store for me, man.
71
00:02:50,124 --> 00:02:52,125
Selling pallets for six bucks a pop?
72
00:02:52,126 --> 00:02:54,711
I can say that's some real loser shit, man.
73
00:02:54,712 --> 00:02:56,296
I should just get back with Dianne.
74
00:02:56,297 --> 00:02:58,464
I been telling you that, Jay.
75
00:02:58,465 --> 00:02:59,966
But that's something both you and her
76
00:02:59,967 --> 00:03:01,718
gonna have to get right with.
77
00:03:01,719 --> 00:03:03,303
Yeah, but it's just the
whole cop thing, man.
78
00:03:03,304 --> 00:03:05,021
She's so hard-core with
that shit, I be feeling
79
00:03:05,022 --> 00:03:06,189
like she gonna take me to jail one day.
80
00:03:06,190 --> 00:03:07,473
JESUS: Well, do you love her, though?
81
00:03:07,474 --> 00:03:09,309
JASON: Yeah, I love her more than this.
82
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:10,977
I mean, no offense...
83
00:03:10,978 --> 00:03:12,312
- I'm just sayin'.
- Hey.
84
00:03:12,313 --> 00:03:13,313
Jesus,
85
00:03:13,314 --> 00:03:14,898
you know,
86
00:03:14,899 --> 00:03:16,065
I'm getting woozy.
87
00:03:16,066 --> 00:03:17,317
This thing is...
88
00:03:17,318 --> 00:03:18,701
JESUS: Trayvon.
89
00:03:18,702 --> 00:03:20,787
I had to carry my own cross.
90
00:03:20,788 --> 00:03:23,122
Do you know how heavy those things is, man?
91
00:03:23,123 --> 00:03:24,457
Across one shoulder.
92
00:03:24,458 --> 00:03:26,159
Come on, man, you'll be a'ight.
93
00:03:26,160 --> 00:03:28,077
(scoffs) This dude.
94
00:03:28,078 --> 00:03:29,996
But for real, though, man,
just go and get back with her.
95
00:03:29,997 --> 00:03:31,331
That's the right thing to do, Jay.
96
00:03:31,332 --> 00:03:33,166
Pops been telling me, man.
97
00:03:33,167 --> 00:03:35,867
It been right here, the
sign's been right in your face.
98
00:03:36,971 --> 00:03:39,005
(Jesus laughs)
99
00:03:39,006 --> 00:03:41,474
Amali, you gigantic playboy!
100
00:03:41,475 --> 00:03:43,009
Allahu Akbar.
101
00:03:43,010 --> 00:03:44,227
(chuckling)
102
00:03:44,228 --> 00:03:46,128
(speaking Arabic)
103
00:03:56,407 --> 00:03:58,024
Hamdullah.
104
00:03:58,025 --> 00:03:59,909
(speaking Arabic)
105
00:03:59,910 --> 00:04:02,477
(Lloyd singing to himself)
106
00:04:05,032 --> 00:04:07,367
Hey, Lloyd, Lloyd! Come
here, check, check...
107
00:04:07,368 --> 00:04:09,293
Come on, come on, check this
shit out, man. Check this out.
108
00:04:09,294 --> 00:04:13,543
"Seven Ways to Spot a Terrorist."
109
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,795
Number one: suspicious activity.
110
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:17,597
Check.
111
00:04:17,598 --> 00:04:20,633
Number two: illicit fund-raising.
112
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:21,884
Check.
113
00:04:21,885 --> 00:04:25,021
Number three: acquiring supplies
114
00:04:25,022 --> 00:04:28,441
and any other activity deemed un-American.
115
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:30,026
Check.
116
00:04:30,027 --> 00:04:31,360
You think all those
pallets they're collecting
117
00:04:31,361 --> 00:04:32,945
is part of the plot?
118
00:04:32,946 --> 00:04:35,398
Look, Lloyd, we don't
know what we don't know.
119
00:04:35,399 --> 00:04:36,649
I'm just saying,
120
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:38,401
with all that wood they collected,
121
00:04:38,402 --> 00:04:40,987
they probably chopped it all
up, pushed it together and made
122
00:04:40,988 --> 00:04:43,122
some kind of gigantic wood bomb.
123
00:04:43,123 --> 00:04:45,658
And when that bomb blow up, boom!
124
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:47,493
Shrapnel's everywhere.
125
00:04:47,494 --> 00:04:48,794
Death by splinters.
126
00:04:48,795 --> 00:04:50,379
We gotta call the authorities.
127
00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:51,581
Come on, I got it right here.
128
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:52,915
Hey, nigga, hey, c...
129
00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:55,468
We ain't calling nobody, man.
130
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,970
Vic, you might be a man of principle,
131
00:04:57,971 --> 00:05:00,640
but sometime, you gotta pick up
the phone and call white people.
132
00:05:00,641 --> 00:05:02,058
This is bigger than us.
133
00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:03,509
Lloyd,
134
00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:06,012
nothing is bigger than us.
135
00:05:06,013 --> 00:05:07,513
Okay?
136
00:05:07,514 --> 00:05:10,850
We have to continue to watch.
137
00:05:10,851 --> 00:05:13,936
We gotta remain vigilant.
138
00:05:13,937 --> 00:05:16,656
Keep collecting evidence.
139
00:05:16,657 --> 00:05:18,107
We...
140
00:05:18,108 --> 00:05:19,742
are the sheepdog.
141
00:05:19,743 --> 00:05:21,744
(phone ringing)
142
00:05:21,745 --> 00:05:23,579
Hello. It's Dianne.
143
00:05:23,580 --> 00:05:24,864
Dianne, this is Lloyd.
144
00:05:24,865 --> 00:05:26,032
Lloyd?
145
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,867
Lloyd, Vic's friend!
146
00:05:27,868 --> 00:05:29,035
The bum?
147
00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:30,419
Yes.
148
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:32,421
Dianne, listen.
149
00:05:32,422 --> 00:05:34,540
You gotta do something.
We running out of time!
150
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:36,842
Wait, okay, just calm down.
What are you talking about?
151
00:05:36,843 --> 00:05:39,095
Jesus is a terrorist.
152
00:05:39,096 --> 00:05:40,713
Wait, who's a terrorist?
153
00:05:40,714 --> 00:05:42,632
Jesus is a terrorist.
154
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,183
VIC: Lloyd!
155
00:05:44,184 --> 00:05:46,052
Hold on, Vic, in the bathroom!
156
00:05:46,053 --> 00:05:47,937
What... are you calling from the bathroom?
157
00:05:47,938 --> 00:05:49,689
I'm hiding from Vic
158
00:05:49,690 --> 00:05:51,641
because he doesn't want
me to call the police.
159
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,225
And I'm also taking a shit.
160
00:05:53,226 --> 00:05:54,727
(passes gas, grunts)
161
00:05:54,728 --> 00:05:55,945
That's just disgusting, Lloyd!
162
00:05:55,946 --> 00:05:58,230
Look, this isn't funny, all right?
163
00:05:58,231 --> 00:05:59,815
No, wait. Wait a minute!
164
00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:01,067
Bye. Just...
165
00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:02,618
They gonna kill people with splinters!
166
00:06:02,619 --> 00:06:04,153
- Splinters!
- Lloyd!
167
00:06:04,154 --> 00:06:07,105
168
00:06:08,408 --> 00:06:09,824
Perfect.
169
00:06:15,916 --> 00:06:18,167
Now, what the hell does this mean?
170
00:06:18,168 --> 00:06:19,719
You illiterate, convict?
171
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,804
The sign says, "Emergency..."
172
00:06:21,805 --> 00:06:24,006
Nigga, I can read, but what does it mean?
173
00:06:24,007 --> 00:06:25,591
"Emergency powers in effect"?
174
00:06:25,592 --> 00:06:27,226
It means that I got credible Intel
175
00:06:27,227 --> 00:06:28,761
that there's a potential threat.
176
00:06:28,762 --> 00:06:30,012
And I'm gonna take
177
00:06:30,013 --> 00:06:31,564
all steps necessary
178
00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,482
to make sure that it don't happen.
179
00:06:33,483 --> 00:06:35,101
Just better not be using that as an excuse
180
00:06:35,102 --> 00:06:36,652
to run up in my crib without notice.
181
00:06:36,653 --> 00:06:39,939
You just remember... beware of sheepdogs.
182
00:06:39,940 --> 00:06:41,774
(bleep) does that even mean?
183
00:06:41,775 --> 00:06:43,109
Just what it mean, convict.
184
00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,360
Beware of sheepdog.
185
00:06:46,496 --> 00:06:48,614
- (bleep) weirdo.
- Oh, yeah.
186
00:06:48,615 --> 00:06:51,167
I'm changing all the fire
alarms in every unit today.
187
00:06:51,168 --> 00:06:53,452
I'm-a be up in yours
sometime this morning.
188
00:06:53,453 --> 00:06:54,704
City regulations.
189
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:56,505
Yo, whatever, just better keep
190
00:06:56,506 --> 00:06:57,923
Lloyd's stinking ass out
of my place, I know that.
191
00:06:57,924 --> 00:06:59,091
Mmm.
192
00:06:59,092 --> 00:07:00,626
VIC: See what I mean, Lloyd?
193
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:03,045
Informed the nigga of his rights,
194
00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:07,298
plus got permission from
him to enter the unit.
195
00:07:09,269 --> 00:07:11,419
196
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:28,287
JESUS: Come on, man, a few
splinters ain't never killed nobody.
197
00:07:28,288 --> 00:07:30,539
It ain't but five pallets, man, and we on.
198
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:31,874
For five hours?
199
00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:33,075
Split five ways?
200
00:07:33,076 --> 00:07:34,293
This is stupid, man.
201
00:07:34,294 --> 00:07:35,711
We're not making no money,
202
00:07:35,712 --> 00:07:37,163
we not making the world a better place.
203
00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,664
We wasting our time.
204
00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:40,216
Hey, he right, though, Jee.
205
00:07:40,217 --> 00:07:42,084
I don't know if this
hustle gonna cut it, man.
206
00:07:42,085 --> 00:07:43,552
Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop.
207
00:07:43,553 --> 00:07:44,953
Back up, back up, back up.
208
00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:49,207
(snickers)
209
00:07:54,147 --> 00:07:56,315
Oh, my God. (laughing)
210
00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:58,100
Man, we got to pray to God
211
00:07:58,101 --> 00:08:00,102
and thank him for his
wonderful generosity, man. Yes!
212
00:08:00,103 --> 00:08:01,854
Hey, man, we can pray later, but right now,
213
00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,773
let's get these pallets and
get the (bleep) out of here.
214
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,825
H-H-H-Hey! Stop, stop, stop!
215
00:08:05,826 --> 00:08:07,096
Put that down.
216
00:08:07,097 --> 00:08:09,041
Look, Frank, man, we don't
want no problems, man.
217
00:08:09,042 --> 00:08:10,742
We just seen the pallets
out here empty, man.
218
00:08:10,743 --> 00:08:11,831
You know y'all finna throw 'em out, man.
219
00:08:11,832 --> 00:08:13,833
Let us have 'em; we'll
get rid of 'em, no charge.
220
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,284
No, you think you're the only ones
221
00:08:15,285 --> 00:08:17,119
who have been trying to
do this pallet hustle?
222
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,671
No, and (bleep) off.
223
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,206
We're not throwing them away.
224
00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:22,208
Hey, man, you can let
us have these pallets,
225
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:23,959
you Nigerian Michelin Man.
226
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,878
And you the same color as your uniform!
227
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:27,596
I don't want to see you here again!
228
00:08:27,597 --> 00:08:30,599
Put it down!
229
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:32,802
Really gonna act like that, Frank?
230
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,720
Go somewhere!
231
00:08:34,721 --> 00:08:37,723
So now y'all see what I'm saying?
232
00:08:37,724 --> 00:08:39,725
We just go snatch them
pallets, throw 'em in a car
233
00:08:39,726 --> 00:08:41,026
and smash the (bleep) out.
234
00:08:41,027 --> 00:08:42,611
That's stealing, Fish.
235
00:08:42,612 --> 00:08:44,063
Come on, man, you know the script.
236
00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,364
What Pops say, man?
237
00:08:45,365 --> 00:08:47,366
"Thou shall not steal." "Shall not steal."
238
00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,235
I know, man, but this is not stealing.
239
00:08:49,236 --> 00:08:51,704
It's just pieces of wood. Nah, man.
240
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,372
We can't do it, man.
241
00:08:53,373 --> 00:08:55,523
It ain't poppin'.
242
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:58,276
No more janky shit, brah.
243
00:09:04,134 --> 00:09:06,334
You know I love you, though, right?
244
00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:14,176
Jesus say he love us, right?
245
00:09:14,177 --> 00:09:15,728
And I know we love him, too, man,
246
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:17,179
but I'm trying to get this money.
247
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,264
Let's go snatch them pallets.
248
00:09:18,265 --> 00:09:19,398
That's what I'm saying, man.
249
00:09:19,399 --> 00:09:20,733
We split that three ways.
250
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,768
That's, what, $80 apiece.
251
00:09:22,769 --> 00:09:24,737
And that's good money for
some trash-ass pallets.
252
00:09:24,738 --> 00:09:26,939
Yeah, the only thing is they
got cameras in the front,
253
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:28,240
cameras in the back,...
there's cameras everywhere.
254
00:09:28,241 --> 00:09:29,408
We can wear a mask.
255
00:09:29,409 --> 00:09:30,776
Yeah, but if we wear a mask,
256
00:09:30,777 --> 00:09:31,827
the police gonna see us coming.
257
00:09:31,828 --> 00:09:33,279
(snaps) Burkas.
258
00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:34,413
How about we wear burkas?
259
00:09:34,414 --> 00:09:35,948
Wh-What's a burka?
260
00:09:35,949 --> 00:09:37,449
It's them joints the Muslim women wear
261
00:09:37,450 --> 00:09:39,118
that cover them from head to toe.
262
00:09:39,119 --> 00:09:40,953
We just three innocent Muslim women.
263
00:09:40,954 --> 00:09:43,172
Hey, man, I ain't wearing no (bleep) dress.
264
00:09:43,173 --> 00:09:45,124
Nigga, your Lord and Savior wears a dress.
265
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:47,793
And he ain't got no bitches, do he?
266
00:09:47,794 --> 00:09:49,044
Niggas, y'all with it or what?
267
00:09:49,045 --> 00:09:50,296
I'm with it.
268
00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:52,464
Look, man, I'm with it, man,
269
00:09:52,465 --> 00:09:54,632
but I'm not wearing no (bleep) dress.
270
00:10:18,971 --> 00:10:21,590
"Ways to spot a terrorist.
271
00:10:21,591 --> 00:10:24,509
"Number four: test security.
272
00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:28,013
Number five: rehearsal."
273
00:10:28,014 --> 00:10:29,981
I seen that myself.
274
00:10:29,982 --> 00:10:31,983
They was casing that grocery store.
275
00:10:31,984 --> 00:10:33,235
That's probably the plan.
276
00:10:33,236 --> 00:10:35,103
Blow up the grocery store
277
00:10:35,104 --> 00:10:37,272
so people would be afraid to buy groceries.
278
00:10:37,273 --> 00:10:38,273
But that's crazy.
279
00:10:38,274 --> 00:10:39,274
That's absolutely insane.
280
00:10:39,275 --> 00:10:40,609
And I know crazy.
281
00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:41,777
Bam.
282
00:10:41,778 --> 00:10:44,279
This could cripple the economy, man.
283
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:47,499
And they say that "once they've
already surveilled a target,
284
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,335
terrorist activity is imminent."
285
00:10:50,336 --> 00:10:51,670
There you go again.
286
00:10:51,671 --> 00:10:53,338
Down that rabbit hole.
287
00:10:53,339 --> 00:10:54,756
We in too deep, Vic.
288
00:10:54,757 --> 00:10:56,708
Hey, listen, man, we ain't in too deep.
289
00:10:56,709 --> 00:10:59,461
We are the sheepdog, Lloyd.
290
00:10:59,462 --> 00:11:00,962
We got to handle this shit.
291
00:11:00,963 --> 00:11:03,298
But, Vic, we're not cops.
292
00:11:03,299 --> 00:11:05,300
We have no authority to stop them.
293
00:11:05,301 --> 00:11:08,637
(scoffs) Lloyd, you forgetting
that I used to be in the Navy.
294
00:11:08,638 --> 00:11:10,806
But, Vic, we not on a boat!
295
00:11:10,807 --> 00:11:13,442
I swore an oath to protect this nation
296
00:11:13,443 --> 00:11:16,478
against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
297
00:11:16,479 --> 00:11:18,480
(knocking on door)
298
00:11:18,481 --> 00:11:20,649
And on land, too.
299
00:11:20,650 --> 00:11:23,517
Who the (bleep) is that?!
300
00:11:25,655 --> 00:11:27,656
Spike, the demolition man!
301
00:11:27,657 --> 00:11:28,657
Yeah, baby!
302
00:11:28,658 --> 00:11:29,658
Ah! Good to see you.
303
00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:31,525
(Spike laughs)
304
00:11:32,328 --> 00:11:33,712
(grunts) Yeah.
305
00:11:33,713 --> 00:11:35,797
Got something for you, gonna hook you up.
306
00:11:35,798 --> 00:11:37,499
That's what's up.
307
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,301
Came to the right man, baby.
308
00:11:39,302 --> 00:11:41,670
Vic, I got to go.
309
00:11:41,671 --> 00:11:43,221
Ugh.
310
00:11:43,222 --> 00:11:44,955
Lord, have mercy.
311
00:11:47,343 --> 00:11:49,344
SPIKE: Who was that?
312
00:11:49,345 --> 00:11:51,062
Uh, just a local bum, man.
313
00:11:51,063 --> 00:11:52,681
You know, he comes
around and picks up cans.
314
00:11:52,682 --> 00:11:54,816
- Excuse the funk.
- Damn, he stinks.
315
00:11:54,817 --> 00:11:55,934
VIC: What you got for me, brah?
316
00:11:55,935 --> 00:11:57,776
SPIKE: Let me show you what I got for you.
317
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,074
This right here...
318
00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:04,743
military-issue Mace.
319
00:12:04,744 --> 00:12:07,078
Accurate within 15 feet.
320
00:12:07,079 --> 00:12:08,079
(imitates spray)
321
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,364
One spray of that (bleep). Aah!
322
00:12:09,365 --> 00:12:12,284
Burn the (bleep) out of Al-Qaeda's eyes.
323
00:12:12,285 --> 00:12:14,818
Brought you four cans, baby.
324
00:12:17,173 --> 00:12:19,174
C-90 stun gun.
325
00:12:19,175 --> 00:12:21,126
Baddest gun in the game, baby.
326
00:12:21,127 --> 00:12:22,594
Easy to use,
327
00:12:22,595 --> 00:12:24,462
easy to charge with a cigarette lighter.
328
00:12:24,463 --> 00:12:26,515
You can fend off multiple attackers
329
00:12:26,516 --> 00:12:27,883
with this thing right here.
330
00:12:27,884 --> 00:12:29,384
When them ISIS fools run up on you...
331
00:12:29,385 --> 00:12:30,769
(imitates stun gun)
332
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,221
Night-night, ISIS, night-night.
333
00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:35,422
(laughs)
334
00:12:36,692 --> 00:12:38,393
These right here
335
00:12:38,394 --> 00:12:40,445
are tear gas grenades.
336
00:12:40,446 --> 00:12:45,283
This is the same shit they
used on them niggas in Ferguson.
337
00:12:45,284 --> 00:12:48,153
You saw how them niggas' eyes
was popping out their head,
338
00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:49,454
burning like this...
339
00:12:49,455 --> 00:12:50,822
and just sliming at the mouth.
340
00:12:50,823 --> 00:12:52,407
Real deal.
341
00:12:52,408 --> 00:12:54,409
Mm-hmm, and what I did,
342
00:12:54,410 --> 00:12:57,662
I'm throwing in an emergency flare gun.
343
00:12:57,663 --> 00:13:01,082
(imitates flare being fired)
344
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:02,584
Point it right at 'em...
(shouts indistinctly)
345
00:13:02,585 --> 00:13:03,835
Gone.
346
00:13:03,836 --> 00:13:05,303
That's gonna do nicely.
347
00:13:05,304 --> 00:13:08,306
And on top of that, check this out.
348
00:13:08,307 --> 00:13:12,594
I'm throwing in two SEAL-grade
tactical bulletproof vests.
349
00:13:12,595 --> 00:13:13,845
Check it out.
350
00:13:13,846 --> 00:13:15,012
Put it on, homie.
351
00:13:16,232 --> 00:13:18,233
(laughs excitedly)
352
00:13:18,234 --> 00:13:19,517
You look good in that thing, boy.
353
00:13:19,518 --> 00:13:20,819
Look like you back in the day.
354
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:22,404
Check it out, boy.
355
00:13:22,405 --> 00:13:23,488
(chuckles)
356
00:13:23,489 --> 00:13:24,606
I got something for you.
357
00:13:24,607 --> 00:13:26,608
Put this hat on with it, playboy.
358
00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:28,610
Boy, you look like an ebony model, boy.
359
00:13:28,611 --> 00:13:30,579
You gonna be a'ight. Oh, man.
360
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:31,913
Come on, baby.
361
00:13:31,914 --> 00:13:33,365
(laughs)
362
00:13:33,366 --> 00:13:35,700
I didn't know who else to call.
363
00:13:35,701 --> 00:13:37,202
Are you sure you weren't followed?
364
00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:39,588
(scoffs) I'm off duty tonight, Lloyd.
365
00:13:39,589 --> 00:13:40,839
Look, I don't like Jesus, either,
366
00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,340
but I doubt he's a terrorist.
367
00:13:42,341 --> 00:13:43,708
I don't know what to do.
368
00:13:43,709 --> 00:13:44,676
I need a drink.
369
00:13:44,677 --> 00:13:46,511
(sighs)
370
00:13:46,512 --> 00:13:47,963
Lloyd, what are you do...? Put that away.
371
00:13:47,964 --> 00:13:49,714
What are...? Oh, my...
372
00:13:49,715 --> 00:13:52,634
I've told Vic ten times
to call Homeland Security.
373
00:13:52,635 --> 00:13:55,270
Well, do not do that.
374
00:13:55,271 --> 00:13:56,187
He's crazy!
375
00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:59,190
Talking about sheepdogs
376
00:13:59,191 --> 00:14:01,643
and wolf dogs and coyotes.
377
00:14:01,644 --> 00:14:04,479
Just relax and-and tell Vic to relax.
378
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,531
If you want, you know, I...
379
00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:08,366
I could talk to Jason about it.
380
00:14:08,367 --> 00:14:10,485
Yeah? Promise?
381
00:14:10,486 --> 00:14:11,653
(chuckles) I promise.
382
00:14:11,654 --> 00:14:12,787
Don't tell Vic.
383
00:14:12,788 --> 00:14:14,322
I won't tell Vic.
384
00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,207
So, um, have you
385
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,209
seen him around lately... Jason?
386
00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:19,494
I see him every day!
387
00:14:19,495 --> 00:14:21,296
He live in that truck with Jesus.
388
00:14:21,297 --> 00:14:23,248
Bald-headed freak...
I don't understand it.
389
00:14:23,249 --> 00:14:24,382
Yeah, me neither.
390
00:14:24,383 --> 00:14:25,800
Poor thing.
391
00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:28,887
That damn Jesus Christ
ruined a lot of lives.
392
00:14:28,888 --> 00:14:31,006
You know, I've tried to move on, Lloyd.
393
00:14:31,007 --> 00:14:33,341
But all I keep meeting are assholes.
394
00:14:33,342 --> 00:14:35,176
Let me give you some
advice about relationships.
395
00:14:35,177 --> 00:14:36,227
(sighs)
396
00:14:36,228 --> 00:14:37,178
Drink.
397
00:14:37,179 --> 00:14:38,647
Oh, it's my day off,
398
00:14:38,648 --> 00:14:40,899
and I'm sitting here drinking with a bum.
399
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,651
It's officially loser status, huh?
400
00:14:42,652 --> 00:14:43,902
- To losers.
- To losers.
401
00:14:43,903 --> 00:14:45,570
(laughs) Come on, baby, kill it!
402
00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:46,771
(laughs, grunts)
403
00:14:46,772 --> 00:14:48,823
Kill it. Kill it, babe.
404
00:14:48,824 --> 00:14:50,325
- Mm-hmm.
- Kill that!
405
00:14:50,326 --> 00:14:51,359
- There you go.
- (grunts)
406
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,244
(grunting)
407
00:14:53,245 --> 00:14:55,580
(whoops, laughs)
408
00:14:55,581 --> 00:14:57,248
Ooh!
409
00:14:57,249 --> 00:14:59,584
Yeah... I'm not feeling good.
410
00:14:59,585 --> 00:15:01,336
- Why not?
- Like I have to...
411
00:15:01,337 --> 00:15:02,504
You all right?
412
00:15:02,505 --> 00:15:03,621
(coughing) Babe! Babe!
413
00:15:03,622 --> 00:15:05,205
Sugar dumpling!
414
00:15:06,792 --> 00:15:08,843
(retching)
415
00:15:08,844 --> 00:15:10,428
Let it all out. Let it all out.
416
00:15:10,429 --> 00:15:11,629
Yeah, there you go.
417
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:14,466
I got you.
418
00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:16,801
- (distant coughing)
- LLOYD: Yeah, there you go.
419
00:15:16,802 --> 00:15:19,270
(Dianne continues coughing)
420
00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:21,639
DIANNE: Oh, my God!
421
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,558
That's the most disgusting
thing I've ever had!
422
00:15:23,559 --> 00:15:25,276
Mmm! Mmm! There you go.
423
00:15:25,277 --> 00:15:26,728
Oh, Lloyd.
424
00:15:26,729 --> 00:15:28,313
(coughing)
425
00:15:28,314 --> 00:15:30,231
LLOYD: You good. Yeah,
it gonna make you gag.
426
00:15:30,232 --> 00:15:32,617
- DIANNE: Ooh, Lloyd. Ooh.
- LLOYD: Mm-hmm.
427
00:15:32,618 --> 00:15:35,370
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- (coughing)
428
00:15:35,371 --> 00:15:39,407
(Dianne retching)
429
00:15:39,408 --> 00:15:40,959
- Oh, boy. Mmm. Mmm.
- Oh, God.
430
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,460
- Yeah.
- (mumbling)
431
00:15:42,461 --> 00:15:44,796
LLOYD: Mmm! Mmm!
432
00:15:44,797 --> 00:15:47,999
(Dianne groans, Lloyd grunts)
433
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,051
We come from around the pallet side.
434
00:15:50,052 --> 00:15:52,587
Then, got the alley... Wait, wait, wait.
435
00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:54,756
- Who the... who the X? You the X?
- I'm the X.
436
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:56,474
- FISH: I'm the X.
- JASON: All right.
437
00:15:56,475 --> 00:15:58,059
FISH: Don't know why
your pallet's square, man.
438
00:15:58,060 --> 00:15:59,561
Pallet's not square.
439
00:15:59,562 --> 00:16:00,979
(overlapping chatter)
440
00:16:00,980 --> 00:16:03,014
Hey, hey, Jay, look, I got
some bad news for you, man.
441
00:16:03,015 --> 00:16:04,682
Yeah, what's up?
442
00:16:04,683 --> 00:16:07,018
I just saw Dianne blowing
Lloyd on the sidewalk
443
00:16:07,019 --> 00:16:08,770
by the liquor store.
444
00:16:08,771 --> 00:16:10,855
Man, stop playing. We're trying to get
445
00:16:10,856 --> 00:16:11,940
this plan together.
446
00:16:11,941 --> 00:16:13,408
- What?
- Hey, man,
447
00:16:13,409 --> 00:16:14,492
it's no joke. I'm for real.
448
00:16:14,493 --> 00:16:15,577
She was excited.
449
00:16:15,578 --> 00:16:17,612
Doing the whole two-hand thing.
450
00:16:17,613 --> 00:16:19,330
You know... Oh, oh.
451
00:16:19,331 --> 00:16:21,082
- Oh, oh.
- Oh.
452
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,367
Man, she was amazing.
453
00:16:22,368 --> 00:16:24,452
She was giving Lloyd fellatio
454
00:16:24,453 --> 00:16:26,538
in public with no shame.
455
00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:29,290
Hold on, hold on. Dianne and Lloyd?
456
00:16:29,291 --> 00:16:30,625
You sure it was Dianne?
457
00:16:30,626 --> 00:16:32,343
I hate to show this to you,
458
00:16:32,344 --> 00:16:33,795
but bam, right there.
459
00:16:33,796 --> 00:16:36,681
That's Dianne, that's Lloyd,
460
00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:39,634
and that's the alley by the liquor store.
461
00:16:39,635 --> 00:16:41,519
She ain't even need no knee pad.
462
00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:43,471
Hey, um, Jay...
463
00:16:43,472 --> 00:16:45,473
BOONIE: I-I was thinking
about it the whole time, man.
464
00:16:45,474 --> 00:16:46,891
It's got to be blackmail.
465
00:16:46,892 --> 00:16:48,443
Lloyd got some dirt on her,
466
00:16:48,444 --> 00:16:50,445
now she got to be his sex slave.
467
00:16:50,446 --> 00:16:53,648
No, man, God cannot hate me this much.
468
00:16:53,649 --> 00:16:55,316
Hey, man, I know that's your girl, man.
469
00:16:55,317 --> 00:16:56,534
I'm sorry that happened, man.
470
00:16:56,535 --> 00:16:57,902
That's why I date Shalinka, man.
471
00:16:57,903 --> 00:16:59,537
I ain't got to worry
472
00:16:59,538 --> 00:17:02,823
about nobody letting her
suck their (bleep) but me.
473
00:17:04,460 --> 00:17:06,461
But anyway, I got the burkas out here, man.
474
00:17:06,462 --> 00:17:08,612
Y'all want to come check 'em out?
475
00:17:10,382 --> 00:17:12,750
BOONIE: Hey, man, what do I look like?
476
00:17:12,751 --> 00:17:15,503
Like the fat black ghost from Pac-Man.
477
00:17:15,504 --> 00:17:16,838
BOONIE: Hey, man.
478
00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:18,389
FISH: Come on, y'all, let's go.
479
00:17:18,390 --> 00:17:21,375
Oh, shit!
480
00:17:22,645 --> 00:17:24,095
Pick up the phone, Lloyd.
481
00:17:24,096 --> 00:17:26,681
Come on, pick up the
phone, you bum-ass nigga.
482
00:17:26,682 --> 00:17:28,099
- LLOYD: Hey, Vic.
- Lloyd. Lloyd, look,
483
00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:29,901
look, it's going down right now.
484
00:17:29,902 --> 00:17:31,436
They on the move, man.
485
00:17:31,437 --> 00:17:33,104
Look, man, they out there right now,
486
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:35,907
and they're dressed up like bitches, man.
487
00:17:35,908 --> 00:17:38,193
They got dresses on, Lloyd.
488
00:17:38,194 --> 00:17:41,112
This is number six... impersonation!
489
00:17:41,113 --> 00:17:43,781
And they're about to go to
number seven, I can tell!
490
00:17:43,782 --> 00:17:45,116
Number seven?!
491
00:17:45,117 --> 00:17:47,234
Yes, Lloyd, number seven... deployment!
492
00:18:01,717 --> 00:18:04,334
(crickets chirping)
493
00:18:12,811 --> 00:18:14,479
Hey, let's go.
494
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,864
All right, we got 90 seconds to do this.
495
00:18:15,865 --> 00:18:17,198
Let's go.
496
00:18:17,199 --> 00:18:19,701
All right, a little more, little more.
497
00:18:19,702 --> 00:18:21,569
Little more, little more.
498
00:18:21,570 --> 00:18:22,987
Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop, stop.
499
00:18:22,988 --> 00:18:24,771
No bullshit, Boonie.
500
00:18:25,958 --> 00:18:27,691
Get your ass up, man. Come on.
501
00:18:28,577 --> 00:18:31,212
Come on, come on, hurry up!
502
00:18:31,213 --> 00:18:33,414
In the name
503
00:18:33,415 --> 00:18:35,750
of the United States government,
504
00:18:35,751 --> 00:18:37,552
freeze, (bleep)!
505
00:18:37,553 --> 00:18:38,720
Is that Vic?
506
00:18:38,721 --> 00:18:40,255
Man, that nigga's shooting at us.
507
00:18:40,256 --> 00:18:42,640
United States Navy!
508
00:18:42,641 --> 00:18:44,259
Aah!
509
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:47,210
- Get back in there!
- Let's move, y'all! Let's go!
510
00:18:48,898 --> 00:18:51,766
Hey, be cool, be cool.
511
00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:55,218
Act like there's money on your debit card.
512
00:18:57,273 --> 00:18:59,941
- VIC: Where you niggas at?
- Whoa! Hey! Get up out of here!
513
00:18:59,942 --> 00:19:02,577
VIC: Stop! And then freeze!
514
00:19:02,578 --> 00:19:03,778
I'm coming, man.
515
00:19:03,779 --> 00:19:05,613
- I'm coming.
- (screaming)
516
00:19:05,614 --> 00:19:07,665
- I'm gonna kill my mama, man.
- Watch out, Jay. Watch out, man.
517
00:19:07,666 --> 00:19:09,033
- Eat that, bitch! Eat it!
- Get down! Get down! Get down!
518
00:19:09,034 --> 00:19:10,034
What's wrong with you, bitch?
519
00:19:10,035 --> 00:19:11,920
Crazy (bleep). Come on!
520
00:19:11,921 --> 00:19:14,005
- Boonie, watch your back!
- How dare you betray your country!
521
00:19:14,006 --> 00:19:16,758
- WOMAN (over P.A.): Security to produce.
- Vic, have you lost your mind?!
522
00:19:16,759 --> 00:19:18,626
White people in this
store. White lives matter!
523
00:19:18,627 --> 00:19:21,346
- What are you...?
- (yelling)
524
00:19:21,347 --> 00:19:23,298
(groaning)
525
00:19:23,299 --> 00:19:25,300
- Damn cheap-ass bitch.
- Yeah, that's right.
526
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:26,884
- Cheap ass.
- Oh, man.
527
00:19:26,885 --> 00:19:28,603
What you want, patent leather face?
528
00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:29,854
- (grunting)
- Let's get it on! Yeah!
529
00:19:29,855 --> 00:19:31,685
It's the one thing.
530
00:19:31,686 --> 00:19:35,032
You can't hit my face! Jesus!
531
00:19:35,033 --> 00:19:38,835
What the (bleep). Time out! man?!
532
00:19:38,836 --> 00:19:40,954
- That's Jesus, man.
- I was on that high-ass cross for this?!
533
00:19:40,955 --> 00:19:42,105
Let's get out of here, Jay. Come on.
534
00:19:42,106 --> 00:19:43,489
Stop this foolishness!
535
00:19:43,490 --> 00:19:45,325
Pardon me for my cussing, but, look, man,
536
00:19:45,326 --> 00:19:46,576
you're (bleep) up right now!
537
00:19:46,577 --> 00:19:48,077
(siren blaring)
538
00:19:48,078 --> 00:19:49,444
They got to be here.
539
00:19:49,445 --> 00:19:50,928
Stay here, Lloyd.
540
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:54,733
(grunting)
541
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:57,285
Stop resisting!
542
00:19:57,286 --> 00:19:58,653
Stop resisting arrest!
543
00:19:58,654 --> 00:20:01,154
- Dianne?
- Jason?!
544
00:20:03,659 --> 00:20:05,577
- (sighs)
- Hey, baby.
545
00:20:05,578 --> 00:20:07,579
Oh.
546
00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:09,914
(siren blaring, Dianne laughing)
547
00:20:09,915 --> 00:20:11,750
You guys are so lucky the manager's
548
00:20:11,751 --> 00:20:13,585
not pressing any charges.
549
00:20:13,586 --> 00:20:15,503
Vic, if you thought
something was going down,
550
00:20:15,504 --> 00:20:16,838
why didn't you call the police?
551
00:20:16,839 --> 00:20:19,507
I think somebody did
try to call the police.
552
00:20:19,508 --> 00:20:22,638
And what's gonna happen to
the con man and his crew?
553
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:23,649
DIANNE: What's gonna happen?
554
00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:25,930
- Nothing.
- They're terrorists.
555
00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:27,432
- They're losers, Vic.
- But...
556
00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:28,683
They were just stealing pallets.
557
00:20:28,684 --> 00:20:29,901
- It's over.
- But...
558
00:20:29,902 --> 00:20:31,353
Vic, look, you're the dumb one here.
559
00:20:31,354 --> 00:20:33,271
Okay? You could have gone to jail tonight.
560
00:20:33,272 --> 00:20:35,772
Just go home, relax.
561
00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:37,609
(chuckles)
562
00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:40,912
So, I heard, uh, you're a terrorist.
563
00:20:40,913 --> 00:20:43,281
I heard you gave Lloyd
head in the parking lot.
564
00:20:43,282 --> 00:20:45,083
What?! No, I didn't!
565
00:20:45,084 --> 00:20:46,584
Come on, baby girl, don't lie.
566
00:20:46,585 --> 00:20:50,038
- I got it all on video.
- Oh, okay.
567
00:20:50,039 --> 00:20:52,674
- I know what that looks like.
- Why you call the cops, Lloyd?
568
00:20:52,675 --> 00:20:55,460
I was frightened. I was
scared for my country.
569
00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:56,961
I was scared for you, Vic.
570
00:20:56,962 --> 00:20:59,431
Guess everybody can't be sheepdogs.
571
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:01,716
(chuckles) I heard that.
572
00:21:01,717 --> 00:21:04,769
(Dianne coughing and retching on video)
573
00:21:04,770 --> 00:21:06,554
As-salaam alaikum, Vic.
574
00:21:06,555 --> 00:21:08,723
Get your hands out of my face, man.
575
00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:10,975
Beware of the sheepdog, (bleep).
576
00:21:10,976 --> 00:21:13,361
Fish, your rent is due on Tuesday.
577
00:21:13,362 --> 00:21:15,631
What happened today don't change nothing.
578
00:21:15,632 --> 00:21:20,485
Hey Vic, you look like a crackhead
baked potato that got burnt.
579
00:21:20,486 --> 00:21:21,653
(laughter)
580
00:21:21,654 --> 00:21:23,820
- You done.
- You bad.
581
00:21:25,223 --> 00:21:31,923
Subtitle sync and corrections
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582
00:21:31,973 --> 00:21:36,523
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