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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,166 --> 00:00:03,376 ? They say the party won't be on ? 2 00:00:03,401 --> 00:00:06,039 ? Until I get up in the place ? 3 00:00:06,469 --> 00:00:08,337 I can't believe this turnout. 4 00:00:08,362 --> 00:00:09,593 We have a hit on our hands. 5 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,980 I predicted this. I told you I had a special dog. 6 00:00:12,302 --> 00:00:13,912 You had a special editor. 7 00:00:13,937 --> 00:00:15,690 Liza rewrote every page of this book. 8 00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:17,716 Gave it a point of view. Wit. Irony. 9 00:00:17,741 --> 00:00:19,680 I know. I know. 10 00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:22,488 We did our job too well. 11 00:00:22,513 --> 00:00:23,882 This was supposed to die a quiet death 12 00:00:23,907 --> 00:00:24,907 I know. 13 00:00:25,650 --> 00:00:27,890 Hey, Amazon just sold out of stock. 14 00:00:27,915 --> 00:00:30,901 - What? - Oh, and Zane just tweeted. 15 00:00:31,388 --> 00:00:33,820 - Ouch. I thought he liked you. - No, he does. 16 00:00:33,845 --> 00:00:37,574 He's flirt-fighting. My move. I gotta bite back hard. 17 00:00:38,643 --> 00:00:40,527 Uh, why is Pearl's lipstick out? 18 00:00:40,552 --> 00:00:42,805 Wait, why does Pearl even have a lipstick? Emily? 19 00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:45,650 This is Pearl II. Gary. 20 00:00:45,682 --> 00:00:48,926 Pearl's son. And lover too, but that's dogs. 21 00:00:48,951 --> 00:00:50,944 He just peed off his dog merkin again. 22 00:00:50,969 --> 00:00:52,371 Put on the backup. 23 00:00:52,396 --> 00:00:55,447 It's Velcro, but really get in there and rub hard. 24 00:00:56,232 --> 00:00:57,580 Oh, no, no, no. 25 00:00:57,605 --> 00:00:59,348 You gotta... you gotta do that. 26 00:00:59,373 --> 00:01:01,176 [Liza gasps] 27 00:01:02,179 --> 00:01:03,250 Hello. 28 00:01:03,275 --> 00:01:04,922 ["Running All Night" by Zayde Wolf] 29 00:01:04,978 --> 00:01:07,673 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 30 00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:10,029 ? Oh, everybody thinks ? 31 00:01:10,054 --> 00:01:12,582 ? That they're gonna rule the world ? 32 00:01:12,607 --> 00:01:16,152 ? I'm just gonna learn how to play it ? 33 00:01:16,354 --> 00:01:19,288 ? Give me all you got and I'll turn... ? 34 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,808 Congratulations! 35 00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:23,372 Your Labradoodle book is starting a trend. 36 00:01:23,472 --> 00:01:25,307 We've been getting submissions all morning. 37 00:01:25,332 --> 00:01:29,191 Deep thoughts from puppies. Kittens. Weasels. 38 00:01:29,216 --> 00:01:32,575 I have three horses, a gecko, and two hamsters here. 39 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:35,324 I had a hamster once when I was a child. 40 00:01:35,349 --> 00:01:38,118 Sad story. Apparently you can't blow-dry them on High. 41 00:01:38,194 --> 00:01:40,832 Well, ladies, you've strapped yourselves to a bomb. 42 00:01:40,857 --> 00:01:42,220 Might as well enjoy the ride. 43 00:01:42,595 --> 00:01:45,453 Still hard to believe this is a Millennial title. 44 00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:48,687 A novelty book about a dog philosopher. 45 00:01:48,712 --> 00:01:50,904 Kelsey did not want to publish it. I made her. 46 00:01:50,929 --> 00:01:53,497 That is going to save our company. 47 00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:54,543 What? 48 00:01:54,568 --> 00:01:56,414 How is it gonna save our company? 49 00:01:56,439 --> 00:01:59,382 We're half a million apart on LL Moore's new contract. 50 00:01:59,407 --> 00:02:01,948 These sales might help bridge the gap. 51 00:02:01,973 --> 00:02:06,034 We are happy to go slightly off-brand for one book 52 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,564 if it's gonna help Empirical. 53 00:02:07,612 --> 00:02:09,657 Nothing we can't walk back with our next book. 54 00:02:09,682 --> 00:02:11,113 Walk back? Run towards it! 55 00:02:11,138 --> 00:02:13,330 Apparently young people want to read about 56 00:02:13,355 --> 00:02:15,480 what their pets are thinking. 57 00:02:15,525 --> 00:02:19,344 So let's scratch that itch. 58 00:02:24,865 --> 00:02:27,694 Okay. Got through almost half the animal kingdom, so... 59 00:02:27,719 --> 00:02:30,762 Ugh, Richard. Who says "I love you" in a text? 60 00:02:30,787 --> 00:02:32,415 What am I supposed to say back to that? 61 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,441 "I know. Thank you." 62 00:02:35,661 --> 00:02:36,905 That's an option. 63 00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:39,062 It doesn't cost anything to be polite, Liza. 64 00:02:39,087 --> 00:02:40,955 Your generation could learn that. 65 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:45,087 That reminds me: I have to get Charles a birthday present. 66 00:02:45,112 --> 00:02:47,416 He always says mine are his favorite. 67 00:02:47,441 --> 00:02:50,160 Not out loud, but there's such a thing as subtext. 68 00:02:50,185 --> 00:02:54,462 Okay, Charles, birthday. Any ideas? 69 00:02:54,487 --> 00:02:56,317 Uh, just one. 70 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,442 Have my assistant do it. 71 00:02:59,917 --> 00:03:02,777 Be in my office at noon, and I want choices. 72 00:03:02,802 --> 00:03:05,553 ? One, two, three, four ? 73 00:03:05,578 --> 00:03:08,542 ? ? 74 00:03:09,347 --> 00:03:11,248 I thought we were going to dinner. 75 00:03:11,293 --> 00:03:13,719 This is me post-Max, okay? 76 00:03:13,744 --> 00:03:16,745 I'm single again and oozing sex. 77 00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:19,110 I'm not gonna waste that on a gay waiter. 78 00:03:19,182 --> 00:03:23,045 I'm back, ladies! Yes! You're welcome! 79 00:03:23,138 --> 00:03:25,193 - [laughs] - Come on, Maggie. 80 00:03:25,218 --> 00:03:27,636 You need this too, all right? We'll wing-woman each other. 81 00:03:27,661 --> 00:03:28,628 [phone tweets] 82 00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:31,159 Ugh, Kelsey's got a Twitter feud going on 83 00:03:31,184 --> 00:03:33,307 with this hot editor from Rivington. 84 00:03:33,332 --> 00:03:37,046 Let's see: "Millennial Scoops Up Steaming Hot Property." 85 00:03:37,071 --> 00:03:38,628 Oh? Ew. 86 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:41,466 - Is that... - Yeah. Yep. That's dog shit. 87 00:03:41,491 --> 00:03:44,874 Uh-huh, not even the emoji. Okay, the real thing. 88 00:03:44,906 --> 00:03:47,099 [scoffs] Oh, my God. Twitter feuds are so lame. 89 00:03:47,124 --> 00:03:49,214 Just go straight to the hate sex, kiddies. 90 00:03:49,239 --> 00:03:50,843 Less thumbing, more fingering. 91 00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:52,703 Girl, someone's looking at you. 92 00:03:52,770 --> 00:03:54,057 I'm sorry, really? Where. 93 00:03:54,082 --> 00:03:55,455 - Over there. - Is she cute? 94 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,544 Ooh, I can't tell. Okay. She's coming, she's coming. 95 00:03:57,569 --> 00:03:58,698 Look straight, Maggie. Help me out. 96 00:03:58,723 --> 00:04:00,299 - How do I do that? - Just look straight. 97 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:03,494 Are you... are you Maggie Amato? 98 00:04:03,519 --> 00:04:04,645 [laughs] Yeah. 99 00:04:04,670 --> 00:04:06,940 I saw "The New York Times" article about you last week. 100 00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:07,969 I love your work. 101 00:04:07,994 --> 00:04:10,187 That was crazy, but thank you, thank you. 102 00:04:10,212 --> 00:04:11,849 Good crazy. 103 00:04:12,617 --> 00:04:15,035 I'm sorry. I'm Donna Malone. 104 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:17,915 I have a gallery on Clinton street. Studio 29. 105 00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:20,283 Oh, yeah, I saw the Tala Madani show there. 106 00:04:20,308 --> 00:04:21,861 Great space, yeah. 107 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:23,820 I can't believe we've never met. 108 00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:26,432 Maybe I could drop by your studio? 109 00:04:26,584 --> 00:04:28,603 - See your work sometime? - Any time. 110 00:04:28,628 --> 00:04:30,011 - Great. - Yeah. 111 00:04:30,043 --> 00:04:31,811 I'm with some friends and we're about to leave, 112 00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,988 but if I give you my card, 113 00:04:34,471 --> 00:04:37,131 would you promise to call me or text me? 114 00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:38,535 Absolutely. 115 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:40,847 Uh, you got a little something right here. 116 00:04:40,872 --> 00:04:43,609 - Oh, is it... no? - No, no, no sorry. 117 00:04:44,428 --> 00:04:48,294 Well, you know, it was really great meeting you. 118 00:04:48,319 --> 00:04:49,445 Yeah. 119 00:04:49,499 --> 00:04:51,830 I'm free tomorrow night, by the way. 120 00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:53,997 [chuckles] 121 00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:58,589 Okay. She was very, very into you. 122 00:04:58,614 --> 00:04:59,877 You coulda fried an egg on that cooch. 123 00:04:59,902 --> 00:05:01,599 Did she... did she have a mustache? 124 00:05:01,624 --> 00:05:02,734 I don't know, wasn't on her tits. 125 00:05:02,759 --> 00:05:04,232 Honestly, that's all I was looking at. 126 00:05:04,257 --> 00:05:07,093 [phone tweets] Wow! 127 00:05:07,118 --> 00:05:09,659 These two really hate each other. 128 00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:14,076 I was hoping you were the pizza guy. 129 00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:16,812 [chuckles] Right. Like you eat pizza. 130 00:05:16,837 --> 00:05:19,916 And, yes, I see your abs. You can breathe out now. 131 00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:21,838 I'm up 250 followers today. 132 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,426 Ha! I'm up 330. I'm winning. 133 00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:29,108 Not really. I'm upping your stock, not the other way around. 134 00:05:29,179 --> 00:05:31,387 I see what I'm upping. 135 00:05:31,412 --> 00:05:35,332 - Unless that's for the pizza guy. - ? Show me your colors ? 136 00:05:35,357 --> 00:05:37,284 ? 'Cause there ain't no other ? 137 00:05:37,309 --> 00:05:39,218 ? Gotta do your own thing ? 138 00:05:39,243 --> 00:05:40,399 I wish I could have been there, 139 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,204 but no one wants a mom on a class trip. 140 00:05:42,229 --> 00:05:43,596 Anyway, you live here. 141 00:05:43,621 --> 00:05:44,948 You can go to The Whitney any day of the week. 142 00:05:45,258 --> 00:05:46,631 But I'm beat. 143 00:05:46,656 --> 00:05:49,085 I can't wait to get on that train and sleep. 144 00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:50,741 You do look pale. 145 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,223 Are you done with the antibiotics? 146 00:05:52,248 --> 00:05:53,288 You took the whole bottle, right? 147 00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:54,663 You're totally Mom-ing out on me. 148 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,646 Well, you had your appendix out. 149 00:05:55,671 --> 00:05:56,687 That's a major surgery. 150 00:05:56,712 --> 00:05:59,163 I'm not the walking wounded; you are. 151 00:05:59,494 --> 00:06:01,929 And you're just avoiding the topic... the breakup, Josh. 152 00:06:01,954 --> 00:06:03,655 - Are you okay? - Yes. 153 00:06:03,895 --> 00:06:06,203 We're good. I see him around. 154 00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,711 Was it the age thing? 155 00:06:09,549 --> 00:06:11,456 - Pretty much. - Figured. 156 00:06:11,481 --> 00:06:14,192 It's too bad. I liked him. 157 00:06:14,217 --> 00:06:16,912 So did I. But we're friends. 158 00:06:16,937 --> 00:06:19,805 So now you get to be the older, wiser maternal figure 159 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:22,699 who listens to his problems with his new girlfriends. 160 00:06:23,045 --> 00:06:25,265 - That sucks. - What time is your train again? 161 00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:27,375 Right, um, I should use the restroom here, 162 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,910 'cause the ones at Grand Central get too much traffic. 163 00:06:30,093 --> 00:06:33,189 - I hate a warm seat. - Wait, you actually sit down? 164 00:06:33,214 --> 00:06:35,148 Oh, God, I failed you as a mother. 165 00:06:35,173 --> 00:06:37,155 [laughs] Be right back. 166 00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:40,137 And I know exactly how much chocolate cake is left. 167 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,960 Liza Miller, right? 168 00:06:52,647 --> 00:06:55,318 Jay... Mallick. We met at Bonfire? 169 00:06:55,343 --> 00:06:58,849 Right. Hi, Jay! From Macmillan. Hi. 170 00:06:58,928 --> 00:07:02,274 You are embarrassed because you never called me back. 171 00:07:02,299 --> 00:07:04,631 Oh, no, yes, maybe. I don't know. 172 00:07:04,656 --> 00:07:07,253 You know, but I'm happy at Empirical. 173 00:07:07,278 --> 00:07:09,836 I was just having a bad day that day that we met. 174 00:07:09,861 --> 00:07:11,868 Hey, may I? 175 00:07:13,404 --> 00:07:14,668 Um... 176 00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:17,403 [keyboard clacking] 177 00:07:17,569 --> 00:07:19,539 There. [cell phone ringing] 178 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:22,499 Now I have your cell. 179 00:07:22,806 --> 00:07:25,302 You know, we don't have to talk about our jobs. 180 00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:27,865 Right, I look forward to that. Thanks. Bye. 181 00:07:27,890 --> 00:07:29,606 Come on, Mom. Line was too long. 182 00:07:29,631 --> 00:07:32,071 - I'll deal. Did you pay? - Wait, "Mom"? 183 00:07:32,807 --> 00:07:34,886 That's her name for me, Mom. 184 00:07:34,911 --> 00:07:37,183 Because I'm always mothering her. 185 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,959 Wear your scarf, eat your vegetables. 186 00:07:38,984 --> 00:07:40,990 Oh, how we laugh. 187 00:07:41,015 --> 00:07:42,702 Yeah. 188 00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:45,796 Okay, I guess she's not going to introduce me. 189 00:07:45,837 --> 00:07:48,491 - I'm the daughter. Caitlin. - Hi. 190 00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:50,130 And if we don't get a move on, Mom, 191 00:07:50,155 --> 00:07:52,023 - I'm gonna miss my train. - [laughs awkwardly] 192 00:07:52,048 --> 00:07:54,763 - I am... confused. - Oh, geez, gosh. 193 00:07:54,788 --> 00:07:58,080 Look at the time. You know, it was really nice 194 00:07:58,105 --> 00:07:59,816 seeing you again, Jay. 195 00:07:59,841 --> 00:08:01,888 Okay, uh, well, yeah. 196 00:08:01,913 --> 00:08:04,001 Well, you know, we should talk. I'll call you. 197 00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:05,977 Oh, absolutely, great, yes. 198 00:08:06,624 --> 00:08:10,583 - Okay, nice to see you. - Great to meet you. 199 00:08:16,919 --> 00:08:19,374 [upbeat music] 200 00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,697 Okay, tonight at 7:00. 201 00:08:21,722 --> 00:08:24,789 I'll see you then. Bye. 202 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,823 - Oh, God. - What happened? 203 00:08:27,848 --> 00:08:32,003 I met this Macmillan editor at Bonfire who thought I was 27. 204 00:08:32,028 --> 00:08:34,903 Well, he ran into me last night with Caitlin. 205 00:08:35,201 --> 00:08:36,576 And now he wants to talk. 206 00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:38,677 - She blew your cover? - It was my own fault. 207 00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:40,604 She called me Liza once when she was 15. 208 00:08:40,629 --> 00:08:42,431 I took away her phone for a week. 209 00:08:42,456 --> 00:08:44,390 Wonder what he wants to talk about. 210 00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:46,015 He'll tell me at dinner. 211 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,510 Well, I would show up with a baseball bat 212 00:08:47,535 --> 00:08:49,420 if things got dicey, but I'm having 213 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,287 this gallery owner over tonight. 214 00:08:51,312 --> 00:08:53,302 - Is it a date? - I'm not really sure. 215 00:08:53,327 --> 00:08:55,119 You know, and she's definitely interested in my work, 216 00:08:55,144 --> 00:08:58,271 but as far as dating goes, there's one little problem. 217 00:08:58,953 --> 00:09:00,184 What is it? 218 00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,537 I think she has a stash. 219 00:09:01,562 --> 00:09:02,759 Of what? 220 00:09:02,784 --> 00:09:04,495 No, no, a mustache. 221 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,210 Everybody's got a little peach fuzz. 222 00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:08,074 This is not a peach; this is a coconut. 223 00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:12,299 - Well, can you look past it? - How? It's a mustache. 224 00:09:12,324 --> 00:09:15,483 - And she keeps it on her face. - [laughs] You're crazy. 225 00:09:15,508 --> 00:09:18,752 Besides that, you know, she's really beautiful. 226 00:09:18,777 --> 00:09:20,727 Well, maybe it was just the lighting. 227 00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:23,463 Yeah. Maybe. 228 00:09:26,288 --> 00:09:31,616 ? ? 229 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,751 That's cashmere. 230 00:09:34,776 --> 00:09:38,241 But brown? For Charles? 231 00:09:38,976 --> 00:09:40,722 It's really more Richard's color. 232 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:41,747 I'll take it back. 233 00:09:41,772 --> 00:09:43,366 No, I'll bank it for Richard's birthday. 234 00:09:43,692 --> 00:09:45,307 Really should find out when that is. 235 00:09:46,412 --> 00:09:49,355 Oh, this is too feminine for Charles. 236 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,171 Richard would like it, though. 237 00:09:51,196 --> 00:09:53,363 He's not afraid of his feminine side. 238 00:09:53,388 --> 00:09:56,268 Which is lucky, because there's a lot of it. 239 00:09:57,912 --> 00:10:01,881 What do you think of these for Richard? 240 00:10:01,941 --> 00:10:03,006 You mean Charles. 241 00:10:03,031 --> 00:10:04,905 No, I mean Richard. 242 00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:06,852 Maybe you like him more than you think. 243 00:10:06,877 --> 00:10:08,382 And maybe you should tell him. 244 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:10,797 I mean, that's what all these gifts are saying. 245 00:10:13,662 --> 00:10:15,064 You're right. 246 00:10:15,089 --> 00:10:17,396 [exhales] It's Richard. 247 00:10:17,421 --> 00:10:18,850 [laughs] 248 00:10:19,317 --> 00:10:21,184 And if it is Richard and not Charles, 249 00:10:21,209 --> 00:10:23,891 then why the hell am I still trying to get Charles' approval? 250 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,346 Well, he is still your boss. 251 00:10:25,371 --> 00:10:27,523 I have been doing this for years now. 252 00:10:27,548 --> 00:10:28,650 Look at me! 253 00:10:28,675 --> 00:10:30,071 The hair, the outfit, the sparkle. 254 00:10:30,096 --> 00:10:31,936 Yes, it is good for office morale. 255 00:10:31,961 --> 00:10:33,557 - Absolutely. - But I have been 256 00:10:33,582 --> 00:10:35,503 casting my pearls before swine. 257 00:10:35,528 --> 00:10:36,629 No more! Mm-mm! 258 00:10:36,654 --> 00:10:39,963 I am turning off the charm, shutting down this power plant. 259 00:10:39,988 --> 00:10:42,158 And this year, he can get a goddamn cupcake 260 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,592 like everyone else. 261 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,510 ? ? 262 00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:50,717 Barnes & Noble sales figures. 263 00:10:50,742 --> 00:10:52,168 This feud has gone national. 264 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,220 William Shatner just retweeted me. 265 00:10:54,245 --> 00:10:55,353 - What? - Verified! 266 00:10:55,378 --> 00:10:58,101 - Like, the Priceline guy. - Yeah, and also "Star Trek." 267 00:10:58,249 --> 00:11:01,724 And it made Vulture. Come see this. 268 00:11:03,417 --> 00:11:05,758 "Millennial Editrix Trashes New York's 269 00:11:05,783 --> 00:11:08,255 "Best Dressed Editor on Twitter." Wow. 270 00:11:08,336 --> 00:11:11,538 Best-dressed! Zane totally fed them this. 271 00:11:11,563 --> 00:11:13,805 Yeah, but he probably didn't feed them this part. 272 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,468 It says it all started because Empirical stole 273 00:11:15,493 --> 00:11:16,967 Lachlan Flynn from him. 274 00:11:16,992 --> 00:11:18,316 Oh, he's not gonna like that, is he? 275 00:11:18,341 --> 00:11:19,773 He is not going to care. 276 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,990 It's not fun if it doesn't hurt a little. 277 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,235 - Really? Is that a rule? - [knock at door] 278 00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:27,685 FYI, LL Moore is giving us some pushback on our offer. 279 00:11:27,710 --> 00:11:31,271 So that Labradoodle money is really coming at the right time. 280 00:11:31,296 --> 00:11:32,634 [both chuckle] 281 00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,074 - Happy to help. - And I... 282 00:11:35,099 --> 00:11:37,651 - I heard about your Twitter feud. - Mm-hmm. 283 00:11:37,703 --> 00:11:39,785 And I have to say, I think it's unwise, 284 00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,231 swapping insults in public. 285 00:11:41,256 --> 00:11:44,111 So I would shut that down if I were you. 286 00:11:44,144 --> 00:11:47,361 But it's boosting our profile and sales. 287 00:11:47,386 --> 00:11:49,325 I mean, didn't you justhelp yourself 288 00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:51,655 to some of our profits for Empirical? 289 00:11:57,649 --> 00:11:59,436 So I did. 290 00:12:07,940 --> 00:12:09,989 Kels, Charles thinks this is getting out of hand. 291 00:12:10,014 --> 00:12:11,805 Of course he does. He's old-school. 292 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:12,829 [computer tweets] 293 00:12:12,854 --> 00:12:15,548 J.K. Rowling retweeted me! 294 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,675 That's crazy. 295 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,486 [laughs] 296 00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:25,177 ? ? 297 00:12:28,133 --> 00:12:31,079 You know, I'd love to see this in the light. 298 00:12:31,104 --> 00:12:32,638 Uh, yeah. 299 00:12:33,263 --> 00:12:35,991 I keep more in storage. I have smaller ones hair. 300 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,185 I mean, here. Smaller ones here. 301 00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:42,051 Mm, oh, and this! I mean, this is... 302 00:12:42,076 --> 00:12:44,451 Just... mm! 303 00:12:44,476 --> 00:12:46,415 Mm. I mean, that's amazing. 304 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,967 - [chuckles nervously] - She paints, she cooks. 305 00:12:49,992 --> 00:12:52,254 [chuckles] Mm! 306 00:12:52,961 --> 00:12:54,831 Can we speak honestly? 307 00:12:54,856 --> 00:12:56,019 Oh, thank God. 308 00:12:56,362 --> 00:12:58,098 I love your art. 309 00:12:58,253 --> 00:12:59,780 And I'm going to hang it 310 00:12:59,805 --> 00:13:01,722 no matter how you feel about this. 311 00:13:01,827 --> 00:13:05,951 But I'm also really interested in you. 312 00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:08,369 As a person. 313 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:09,931 As a woman. 314 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,864 You just get right to the point, don't you? 315 00:13:11,889 --> 00:13:14,831 Well, you know, I like to just jump right in there. 316 00:13:14,856 --> 00:13:16,601 I like to ask a girl what she likes, 317 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:20,513 and you know, if I like it too, well, then... 318 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:22,605 - [laughs] - Okay, okay. 319 00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,498 - Yeah. - I'll go first. 320 00:13:24,523 --> 00:13:26,015 I love romance. 321 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,987 Kissing, cuddling. 322 00:13:28,012 --> 00:13:30,824 Bubble baths. I love bathing together. 323 00:13:30,849 --> 00:13:33,850 Hey. Do you have a bathtub? 324 00:13:33,887 --> 00:13:36,481 - I do. - Mm, warm water. 325 00:13:36,506 --> 00:13:39,973 Lights out, just like a dozen candles. 326 00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:41,059 How 'bout two? 327 00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:42,573 [both laugh] 328 00:13:42,598 --> 00:13:43,936 Or one. 329 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,351 - All right. - Yeah. 330 00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:52,375 So yeah, 41. Class of '96. 331 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,479 Well, here's to you. 332 00:13:54,504 --> 00:13:56,978 Don't congratulate me. It was a mistake. 333 00:13:57,121 --> 00:14:00,991 People find out and then it's... leverage. 334 00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:03,776 - What do you mean? - I've been pressured before. 335 00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,186 Blackmailed. 336 00:14:05,215 --> 00:14:08,150 Oh, my God. What kind of crowd are you running with? 337 00:14:08,175 --> 00:14:10,553 Oh, publishing, right, yeah. 338 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:13,208 All right, well, look, I won't tell anyone. 339 00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:17,556 - As long as I... - Nothing. No. 340 00:14:17,608 --> 00:14:19,855 You don't even have to be nice to me, all right? 341 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,469 You can get up, throw a glass of wine in my face and leave, 342 00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:24,087 and I will not tell a soul. 343 00:14:24,166 --> 00:14:28,029 I'll eat your entre, but I will keep your secret. 344 00:14:28,806 --> 00:14:32,013 Hey, look. I'm one of the good guys. 345 00:14:32,494 --> 00:14:33,858 In fact, the only thing bad about me 346 00:14:33,883 --> 00:14:35,476 is that I walk around saying things like, 347 00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:38,217 "I'm one of the good guys." I'm sorry. 348 00:14:39,072 --> 00:14:40,907 Well, thank you. 349 00:14:41,070 --> 00:14:43,777 I gotta be honest, it's been a strain. 350 00:14:44,028 --> 00:14:47,080 A part of me just wants to tell everybody and end the suspense. 351 00:14:47,105 --> 00:14:49,286 No, no, no, no, no, don't do that. 352 00:14:49,311 --> 00:14:50,737 Especially don't tell your bosses. 353 00:14:50,762 --> 00:14:53,906 It'll be a scandal. Look, keep your secret. 354 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:56,064 And if you ever wanna talk to somebody who grew up 355 00:14:56,089 --> 00:14:58,913 watching the same TV shows as you did, call me. 356 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,095 - "Who's the Boss." - Mm-hmm. 357 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,625 I had a Danza thing. Not entirely gone. 358 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:08,281 Yeah, "Miami Vice." Every episode. 359 00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:11,546 Wore a pink blazer in junior high. 360 00:15:11,571 --> 00:15:13,770 [both chuckle] 361 00:15:15,954 --> 00:15:17,186 What? 362 00:15:17,211 --> 00:15:20,160 Oh, I, um, I just remembered who else went to Princeton. 363 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:21,846 My boss. 364 00:15:22,744 --> 00:15:25,087 Oh, right, yeah. Charles Brooks. 365 00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,139 "Upchuck" we used to call him 366 00:15:26,164 --> 00:15:27,140 'cause he couldn't hold his booze. 367 00:15:27,165 --> 00:15:28,592 Seriously? You were in school together? 368 00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:30,126 Yeah, we were in the eating club. 369 00:15:30,151 --> 00:15:32,728 - Charles! - What are you doing? 370 00:15:32,753 --> 00:15:34,853 This'll be good. Watch. 371 00:15:34,878 --> 00:15:37,416 Can you give me one second? 372 00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:39,286 Hey, buddy. 373 00:15:39,311 --> 00:15:41,588 - Hey, Jay. - What's up, Upchuck? 374 00:15:41,656 --> 00:15:43,690 - Nice to see you. - Nice to see you. 375 00:15:43,715 --> 00:15:46,347 - Liza. - Hi. 376 00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,897 - Hi. - Liza and I met at Bonfire. 377 00:15:48,922 --> 00:15:50,156 You know, Millennial is creating 378 00:15:50,181 --> 00:15:52,437 a lot of good buzz for Empirical. 379 00:15:52,462 --> 00:15:55,241 Uh, yeah, yeah, her team is doing great things. 380 00:15:55,266 --> 00:15:57,765 - Proud of them. - Fostering young talent. 381 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,530 Proud of you. Congratulations. 382 00:15:59,555 --> 00:16:01,366 And by the way, she's not consorting with the enemy, 383 00:16:01,391 --> 00:16:02,865 if that's what you were thinking. 384 00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:05,644 This is strictly social. Business has not even come up. 385 00:16:05,944 --> 00:16:07,077 Okay. 386 00:16:07,102 --> 00:16:08,829 I would ask you to stay, but... 387 00:16:08,854 --> 00:16:09,590 No, no, that's fine. 388 00:16:09,615 --> 00:16:11,812 I'm meeting Bill Merriman from Penguin. 389 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,442 Ah. Great. 390 00:16:13,467 --> 00:16:14,606 - Good to see you. - Enjoy your evening. 391 00:16:14,631 --> 00:16:15,625 Good to see you. Enjoy your evening. 392 00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,079 All right. 393 00:16:17,104 --> 00:16:18,874 Liza. 394 00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:25,423 Now, last time he saw me, 395 00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:27,899 I was dating a much younger woman. 396 00:16:27,924 --> 00:16:29,572 This confirms your story. 397 00:16:29,623 --> 00:16:31,898 See, I'm good for you. 398 00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:34,659 - [chuckles] - Now "Who's the Boss." 399 00:16:34,684 --> 00:16:35,836 Remind me, is that the one 400 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:39,553 with the employee/boss love story? 401 00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:43,211 Yeah. Yeah, something like that. 402 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,068 Tony Danza. One of our finest American actors. 403 00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,680 "Golden Girls." 404 00:16:47,847 --> 00:16:53,147 ? Run with me, let's run, run ? 405 00:16:55,792 --> 00:16:57,726 [upbeat music] 406 00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:00,896 Oh, isn't this nice? 407 00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:02,711 I feel so warm and fuzzy. 408 00:17:02,736 --> 00:17:05,851 I'm not surprised. I mean, me too. 409 00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:08,038 [both chuckling] 410 00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:10,137 [moans] 411 00:17:11,609 --> 00:17:12,793 [laughs nervously] 412 00:17:12,818 --> 00:17:14,298 Are you feeling what I'm feeling? 413 00:17:14,418 --> 00:17:16,931 Uh-huh. Plus a little something extra. 414 00:17:16,956 --> 00:17:18,408 [laughs] 415 00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:22,408 Can I ask you to do something kind of intimate? 416 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:24,280 Considering where your foot is, 417 00:17:24,305 --> 00:17:27,264 I pretty sure we're past that. 418 00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:31,113 Will you... shave me? 419 00:17:31,138 --> 00:17:34,152 [laughs] Ohh. 420 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,360 I have literally not thought of anything else 421 00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:41,427 since the moment we met. 422 00:17:41,452 --> 00:17:43,530 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 423 00:17:43,555 --> 00:17:46,527 [both chuckling] 424 00:17:46,552 --> 00:17:48,783 Wait, wait. What are you doing? 425 00:17:48,808 --> 00:17:50,177 I'm shaving you. 426 00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:52,009 I meant my pussy! 427 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:02,046 ? Ain't nothin' new, been there, done that ? 428 00:18:02,071 --> 00:18:04,640 That was great, just so you know. 429 00:18:04,665 --> 00:18:07,424 I do know. I was there. 430 00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,259 Were you? 431 00:18:09,284 --> 00:18:11,612 This is time stamped two minutes ago. 432 00:18:11,637 --> 00:18:14,024 How are you DM'ing me while we were actually having sex? 433 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:16,715 I had a hand free. Remember? 434 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:18,515 Okay, that's it. 435 00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:22,203 Let's talk. Or not talk. I don't care. 436 00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:25,466 But I'm sleeping with you tonight and not your phone. 437 00:18:25,595 --> 00:18:28,627 I'll get us some more wine 438 00:18:28,652 --> 00:18:31,466 and I'll leave these in the kitchen. 439 00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:39,834 [text tone chimes] 440 00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:46,310 _ 441 00:18:47,874 --> 00:18:49,685 You know what? 442 00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:52,744 I think we should actually stop the Twitter feud. 443 00:18:52,844 --> 00:18:54,553 My boss isn't crazy about it, 444 00:18:54,578 --> 00:18:56,889 and I kinda owe him everything. 445 00:18:58,177 --> 00:18:59,807 Fine. 446 00:18:59,832 --> 00:19:03,281 Actually, this is the perfect time for a truce. 447 00:19:05,628 --> 00:19:07,487 We're even. 448 00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:12,102 ? Give me some of that, give me some of that gold ? 449 00:19:12,127 --> 00:19:15,543 ? Give me some of that, give me some of that gold ? 450 00:19:15,568 --> 00:19:19,087 ? Whoa-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh ? 451 00:19:19,574 --> 00:19:21,442 Hey, happy birthday. 452 00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:23,175 Thanks. Not a big birthday guy. 453 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,341 I, uh, I should have sent a cake or something 454 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,486 over to your table last night. 455 00:19:28,511 --> 00:19:30,346 Jay Mallick, huh? 456 00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:31,974 He's a nice guy. 457 00:19:32,426 --> 00:19:33,805 Never married. 458 00:19:33,970 --> 00:19:37,895 Likes cats. He's a cat guy. 459 00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,079 News alert from Publishers Lunch: 460 00:19:41,104 --> 00:19:43,453 LL Moore just signed with Rivington! 461 00:19:43,478 --> 00:19:44,580 What? 462 00:19:44,605 --> 00:19:46,977 Rivington just stole LL Moore! 463 00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,309 How did that happen?! 464 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,335 Is this because of your feud with that Rivington editor? 465 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,008 Well, it's not a real feud, it's... 466 00:19:54,033 --> 00:19:56,280 No, he's my friend. Zane is my friend. 467 00:19:56,305 --> 00:19:57,931 We're more than friends. We're dating. 468 00:19:57,956 --> 00:19:59,767 He would never do that. 469 00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:02,390 Oh, pillow talk. It can bring down empires. 470 00:20:02,415 --> 00:20:03,851 Once at Harper Collins, I was... 471 00:20:03,876 --> 00:20:08,123 Did you let any proprietary information slip? 472 00:20:09,147 --> 00:20:11,411 - Our latest offer? - No. No. 473 00:20:11,479 --> 00:20:15,609 He didn't have access to your phone? Your iPad? 474 00:20:16,776 --> 00:20:18,862 No? Yes? 475 00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:26,719 This is bad, Kelsey. 476 00:20:28,877 --> 00:20:31,110 Disappointing. 477 00:20:31,135 --> 00:20:34,942 And bad. 478 00:20:35,114 --> 00:20:36,818 For all of us. 479 00:20:36,843 --> 00:20:39,545 ? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ? 480 00:20:39,570 --> 00:20:41,801 [sighs] Poor Charles. 481 00:20:41,826 --> 00:20:43,397 On his birthday too. 482 00:20:43,422 --> 00:20:45,423 Really, Kelsey? 483 00:20:45,448 --> 00:20:47,573 ? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ? 484 00:20:47,598 --> 00:20:49,939 ? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ? 485 00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:54,436 ? Shadows ? 486 00:20:54,461 --> 00:20:57,302 ? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ? 487 00:20:57,327 --> 00:20:59,460 [sighs] 488 00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:04,663 [upbeat music] 489 00:21:05,318 --> 00:21:07,550 Zane, are you kidding me? 490 00:21:07,575 --> 00:21:09,134 I could lose my job. 491 00:21:09,159 --> 00:21:11,764 This is not a game. This is my life. 492 00:21:11,906 --> 00:21:14,351 Oh, never mind. Don't call me. 493 00:21:14,872 --> 00:21:18,000 Kelsey, if he did this to you, he is not worth crying over. 494 00:21:18,025 --> 00:21:20,238 I-I'm crying over my job. 495 00:21:20,361 --> 00:21:22,727 Did you see Charles? He's gonna fire me. 496 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:24,923 And even if he doesn't, he's never gonna trust me again! 497 00:21:24,948 --> 00:21:26,577 Yes, he will. He cares about you. 498 00:21:26,602 --> 00:21:30,150 And this is how I repay him, by taking my eye off the ball, 499 00:21:30,175 --> 00:21:33,230 by getting swept up in some stupid... 500 00:21:33,255 --> 00:21:34,056 [phone chiming] 501 00:21:34,081 --> 00:21:35,032 _ 502 00:21:35,057 --> 00:21:36,291 _ 503 00:21:36,316 --> 00:21:37,196 _ 504 00:21:37,221 --> 00:21:39,310 God, leave me alone. 505 00:21:39,335 --> 00:21:42,552 Liza, I'm sorry. You too. 506 00:21:42,577 --> 00:21:45,471 - I need a moment, okay? - Okay. 507 00:21:47,353 --> 00:21:49,750 [sobs] 508 00:21:56,077 --> 00:21:57,736 How could you accuse her like that? 509 00:21:57,761 --> 00:22:00,117 - This isnother fault. - You sure of that? She isn't. 510 00:22:00,142 --> 00:22:01,663 Charles, she is in there crying. 511 00:22:01,688 --> 00:22:03,291 She's afraid you're gonna fire her! 512 00:22:03,316 --> 00:22:05,891 Good. Then she won't be surprised if it happens. 513 00:22:06,150 --> 00:22:07,480 What am I supposed to do, Liza? 514 00:22:07,505 --> 00:22:09,719 You of all people know how important 515 00:22:09,744 --> 00:22:11,514 LL Moore is to this company. 516 00:22:11,539 --> 00:22:14,814 - People are important too. - Yeah, exactly. 517 00:22:14,839 --> 00:22:16,975 And I've got 75 people out there 518 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,473 whose jobs I suddenly can't guarantee 519 00:22:19,498 --> 00:22:21,062 because of her carelessness! 520 00:22:21,087 --> 00:22:23,362 This is not like you to be so angry 521 00:22:23,387 --> 00:22:25,547 - before you know the facts. - You're right. 522 00:22:25,572 --> 00:22:27,539 You're right. You're right. I don't know anything. 523 00:22:27,564 --> 00:22:29,345 I don't know how I'm going to replace our biggest earner! 524 00:22:29,370 --> 00:22:31,355 I don't know how I'm going to make payroll next month! 525 00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:32,664 And I don't know why you're dating 526 00:22:32,689 --> 00:22:35,427 a 40-something guy in publishing who isn't me! 527 00:22:35,964 --> 00:22:40,305 All: ? Happy birthday to you ? 528 00:22:40,330 --> 00:22:44,038 ? Happy birthday to you ? 529 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:48,506 ? Happy birthday, dear Charles ? 530 00:22:48,531 --> 00:22:53,898 ? Happy birthday to you ? 531 00:22:55,679 --> 00:22:57,845 Blow, Charles. 532 00:22:58,224 --> 00:23:00,291 Or I will. 533 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:06,914 Yes! 534 00:23:09,529 --> 00:23:12,608 ? You will come for me ? 535 00:23:15,690 --> 00:23:23,331 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 536 00:23:23,381 --> 00:23:27,931 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38493

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