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1
00:00:08,471 --> 00:00:10,520
Hey. Wow.
2
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:14,680
- That is a lot of Larry.
- And not a lot of swimsuit.
3
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,981
Hey, Jackie, we can only stay a minute.
4
00:00:18,177 --> 00:00:19,776
Our bowling semifinals are tonight.
5
00:00:19,777 --> 00:00:21,412
You're still coming to cheer us on, right?
6
00:00:21,413 --> 00:00:22,614
Absolutely.
7
00:00:22,681 --> 00:00:25,507
But not until we've
celebrated our Bird-iversary!
8
00:00:25,508 --> 00:00:27,218
Well, it's been exactly one year
9
00:00:27,286 --> 00:00:29,087
since Larry Bird disobeyed his father
10
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,155
and decided that the
community would stay on Earth
11
00:00:31,223 --> 00:00:32,357
to continue our research.
12
00:00:32,424 --> 00:00:33,197
Ohhhh.
13
00:00:33,198 --> 00:00:37,028
So to celebrate, you made
him a papier-m?ch? bust!
14
00:00:37,096 --> 00:00:40,690
So, I see you also have
a picture of... Scott Baio.
15
00:00:40,691 --> 00:00:41,733
Because... ?
16
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,736
Oh! This is a gallery of
Larry Bird's favorite leaders.
17
00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:47,486
So we have Churchill, Ghengis Khan,
18
00:00:47,487 --> 00:00:50,528
and, of course, Charles,
who was, famously, in charge.
19
00:00:50,623 --> 00:00:51,473
Mm-hmm.
20
00:00:51,535 --> 00:00:54,593
Oh, I hope this party cheers Larry Bird up.
21
00:00:54,661 --> 00:00:56,628
He's been so worried about
what we've accomplished
22
00:00:56,696 --> 00:00:58,421
since his stand against his father,
23
00:00:58,422 --> 00:01:00,132
and it's beginning to come between us.
24
00:01:00,199 --> 00:01:02,935
His anxiety is even affecting
his performance in the bedroom.
25
00:01:03,002 --> 00:01:03,969
O... kay.
26
00:01:04,037 --> 00:01:05,897
Oh, no, I'm just saying...
27
00:01:05,898 --> 00:01:07,455
- He's so limp.
- Jackie!
28
00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:09,691
He teases his hair for
hours, and it just lies there.
29
00:01:10,259 --> 00:01:11,826
[Slaps legs] The hair's limp.
30
00:01:11,894 --> 00:01:12,794
- Mm-hmm.
- I got you.
31
00:01:12,861 --> 00:01:15,063
Dick, is your father upstairs?
32
00:01:15,130 --> 00:01:17,065
Nope, just me and the kids
33
00:01:17,132 --> 00:01:18,453
wrestling with the big questions...
34
00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:19,892
Like, if you smelt it,
35
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:21,836
are you, in fact, the one who dealt it?
36
00:01:21,904 --> 00:01:22,971
Riveting stuff.
37
00:01:23,038 --> 00:01:24,739
We'll be in the new clubhouse.
38
00:01:24,807 --> 00:01:27,442
It's a salon... A place for higher thought.
39
00:01:27,509 --> 00:01:29,268
Last one there's a rotten egg!
40
00:01:29,269 --> 00:01:31,179
Rotten eggs smell like farts.
41
00:01:31,246 --> 00:01:33,485
[Sighs] I need new friends.
42
00:01:33,486 --> 00:01:34,882
Well, if he's not upstairs,
43
00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:37,018
he must be in the garage, worrying.
44
00:01:37,086 --> 00:01:39,992
Okay, Weavers, come
help me fluff my husband.
45
00:01:39,993 --> 00:01:41,208
What? What are you... What are you...
46
00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:42,824
His hair! She means his
hair. [Chuckles nervously]
47
00:01:42,891 --> 00:01:44,291
- Of course she means...
- Yeah, okay.
48
00:01:44,409 --> 00:01:45,947
- But, daddy!
- Grandfather: Enough!
49
00:01:45,948 --> 00:01:47,745
What have you accomplished this year?
50
00:01:47,813 --> 00:01:51,215
If you are going to stay
on Earth against my wishes,
51
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:54,058
- at least have something to show for it.
- [Sighs]
52
00:01:54,059 --> 00:01:55,859
Take over a small government.
53
00:01:55,927 --> 00:01:57,555
Get a tramp stamp.
54
00:01:57,556 --> 00:01:59,190
We did two musical numbers.
55
00:01:59,191 --> 00:02:01,027
Which almost no one saw.
56
00:02:01,028 --> 00:02:02,967
Got nominated for an Emmy.
57
00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:05,406
If you don't have something
of import to show me
58
00:02:05,407 --> 00:02:06,792
within the week,
59
00:02:06,859 --> 00:02:09,027
I'm going to have to send someone
60
00:02:09,095 --> 00:02:10,996
to clean up your mess,
61
00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:14,833
and I'm going to be very bitchy about it.
62
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:15,767
But... [Door opens]
63
00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:17,963
All: Happy Bird-iversary!
64
00:02:17,964 --> 00:02:18,836
[Beep]
65
00:02:18,837 --> 00:02:21,573
Husband, what are you doing
in here on your computer,
66
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,772
looking all nervous and sweaty?
67
00:02:23,773 --> 00:02:26,330
Hey, Marty, it seems like aliens and humans
68
00:02:26,331 --> 00:02:27,829
have more in common than we thought.
69
00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,289
It was one time.
70
00:02:29,290 --> 00:02:30,483
[Sighs]
71
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:31,817
72
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:35,654
We came from outer space
and settled in New Jersey
73
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:39,491
We took names like Larry
Bird and Jackie Joyner-Kersee
74
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,660
Then the humans moved next door
75
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:43,829
Started testing all our limits
76
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:45,998
So sit right down, enjoy the show
77
00:02:46,065 --> 00:02:49,101
We'll be done in 30 minutes
78
00:02:49,126 --> 00:02:50,702
Sync & Corrections by Darcade
- Addic7ed.com -
79
00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:54,401
- Ohhh!
- Ohhh!
80
00:02:54,402 --> 00:02:56,873
That's my man! Great shot, baby!
81
00:02:56,874 --> 00:02:58,636
The Incredibowls are on fire.
82
00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,713
And... there goes the
Human fire extinguisher.
83
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,682
Come on, sweetie!
84
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,324
[Groans]
85
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:14,530
Oh... almost!
86
00:03:14,531 --> 00:03:16,359
Don't worry about it, baby!
87
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,838
We're still way ahead. I got you covered.
88
00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:19,489
I have a 239,
89
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,412
and you have... a 12.
90
00:03:21,413 --> 00:03:23,825
Oh. 12's bad, huh?
91
00:03:23,826 --> 00:03:26,044
Yes. Yeah, quite bad.
92
00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:27,545
Eh, who cares about score, huh?
93
00:03:27,546 --> 00:03:29,501
You're all about the Intangibles.
94
00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:31,949
You are the spirit of the Incredibowls.
95
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,712
- Aah!
- All right, let's go!
96
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:35,681
[Grunts]
97
00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,546
You can do it, sweetie!
98
00:03:37,547 --> 00:03:39,967
Marty, she's only got six more points
99
00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:41,584
than there are "Rocky" movies.
100
00:03:41,585 --> 00:03:43,219
The championship is next week, man.
101
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:45,505
Hey, listen, I get it...
Deb's not a great bowler.
102
00:03:45,506 --> 00:03:46,539
But what do you want me to do?
103
00:03:46,540 --> 00:03:48,139
We want you to kick her off the team.
104
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,520
W-what do you want me to do besides that?
105
00:03:51,097 --> 00:03:52,695
Oh-hoo!
106
00:03:52,696 --> 00:03:55,718
I got one! I got one!
107
00:03:55,719 --> 00:03:57,014
Oh, humans.
108
00:03:57,015 --> 00:03:59,843
Never more than a ball
and a fried carbohydrate
109
00:03:59,844 --> 00:04:01,473
away from having a good time.
110
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,536
Not a bowler, either, huh?
111
00:04:03,537 --> 00:04:06,017
No. I can't stand it.
112
00:04:06,018 --> 00:04:08,914
Giving the shoes back at the
end is just too much heartbreak.
113
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,732
You have a lovely accent.
114
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,290
Are you new to this country?
115
00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:13,239
Oh, no.
116
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,813
My husband and I moved here 11 years ago,
117
00:04:15,814 --> 00:04:17,913
but we've only been on our own for...
118
00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:19,107
One year!
119
00:04:19,108 --> 00:04:21,466
This has been my mission
for one year, people,
120
00:04:21,534 --> 00:04:23,869
and I need progress reports now!
121
00:04:23,936 --> 00:04:26,338
Mary Lou Retton, my chief
chemist and engineer,
122
00:04:26,406 --> 00:04:27,339
status report.
123
00:04:27,407 --> 00:04:28,774
What have you learned this week?
124
00:04:28,841 --> 00:04:30,375
Natalie Portman wore it better,
125
00:04:30,443 --> 00:04:33,016
Gwyneth Paltrow is doing a rhubarb cleanse,
126
00:04:33,017 --> 00:04:35,573
and I'm still on the
fence about Jimmy Fallon.
127
00:04:35,574 --> 00:04:37,360
Mary Lou, this is very disappointing!
128
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,732
I know... poor Leno.
129
00:04:38,733 --> 00:04:39,685
Ugh!
130
00:04:39,752 --> 00:04:43,429
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar,
you're my cultural attach?.
131
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:44,377
Your report.
132
00:04:44,378 --> 00:04:45,732
I've learned so much.
133
00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,748
We are in the middle of
a Matthew Mccona-Sance.
134
00:04:47,749 --> 00:04:50,408
[Southern accent] All
right, all right, all right.
135
00:04:50,754 --> 00:04:52,476
I can't believe none of you have learned
136
00:04:52,477 --> 00:04:53,831
anything of anything import!
137
00:04:53,832 --> 00:04:54,788
I have!
138
00:04:54,789 --> 00:04:55,711
[Gasps]
139
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:56,778
- Ooh!
- Ooh!
140
00:04:56,779 --> 00:04:57,803
[Laughs]
141
00:04:57,804 --> 00:04:59,598
You aliens are driving me...
142
00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:02,663
Crazy only talking about
his problems and his stress.
143
00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:05,668
Think that just once,
he'd ask about my life...
144
00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:08,104
About how a black woman
can change her hairstyle
145
00:05:08,172 --> 00:05:10,006
so many times without using a weave.
146
00:05:10,074 --> 00:05:12,208
It's me and Beyonc?. We're the only ones.
147
00:05:12,276 --> 00:05:13,810
- [Laughs]
- That's the list.
148
00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:16,786
Listen to me go on. Sorry.
149
00:05:16,787 --> 00:05:19,082
There's just something about
you that gets me talking.
150
00:05:19,149 --> 00:05:21,596
Oh, well, you know, actually,
151
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:23,728
it's kind of my bread and
butter. I'm a therapist.
152
00:05:23,729 --> 00:05:25,421
[Gasps] Like Frasier.
153
00:05:25,489 --> 00:05:28,691
Will there be some witty
banter about wine and opera?
154
00:05:28,759 --> 00:05:30,289
Okay, got to go,
155
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:32,398
but if you and your
husband just want to talk,
156
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,198
maybe I can help.
157
00:05:34,199 --> 00:05:36,432
Oh, thank you so much.
158
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:39,268
And do you happen to know
what area of the bowling alley
159
00:05:39,335 --> 00:05:41,091
I can find a good dentist in?
160
00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:42,505
[Keys jingle]
161
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:46,012
That was such a fun night, Marty.
162
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,448
Did you see my lasso dance
every time I knocked down a pin?
163
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:51,001
Yeah, I sure did. I saw
it all... all 12 times.
164
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:51,822
[Sighs]
165
00:05:51,823 --> 00:05:54,087
You know, I was thinking
that maybe we should
166
00:05:54,155 --> 00:05:55,355
quit bowling while we're ahead...
167
00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,723
You know, like... Like Barry Sanders.
168
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,458
Our old accountant?
169
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,279
He didn't quit while he was ahead, Marty.
170
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,922
I think they found him dead at his desk.
171
00:06:01,923 --> 00:06:03,750
No, Barry Sanders is a football player
172
00:06:03,751 --> 00:06:05,350
who left at the top of his game.
173
00:06:05,351 --> 00:06:07,611
Well, why'd he want to quit?
174
00:06:07,612 --> 00:06:10,683
Well, honey, I-I was talking
with Oscar and Lana, and...
175
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:12,546
Oh, God, forget them.
176
00:06:12,547 --> 00:06:14,435
They only care about the score, right?
177
00:06:14,436 --> 00:06:16,639
Uh, yeah, that's exactly
right. They sure do.
178
00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:17,884
- Um...
- Oh, let's go to bed.
179
00:06:17,885 --> 00:06:21,185
All this bowling talk
has put me in the mood.
180
00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:24,184
That is the first time that
sentence has ever been said.
181
00:06:24,185 --> 00:06:25,284
[Swooshes]
182
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,669
Yeah, honey, I really need to talk to you
183
00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:27,904
about the whole bowling thing.
184
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:29,272
- Are you sure?
- What are you doing?
185
00:06:29,339 --> 00:06:30,706
Yes, I'm very sure.
186
00:06:30,774 --> 00:06:32,548
Are you really sure?
187
00:06:32,549 --> 00:06:35,213
Oh, your imaginary lasso is so strong, huh?
188
00:06:35,214 --> 00:06:36,913
- Well, giddyup!
- I... I...
189
00:06:36,914 --> 00:06:39,108
Screw it. Yeah. Pull me up. Let's go.
190
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,689
Max: Oh! Oh! Oh, stop it, Max!
191
00:06:42,757 --> 00:06:43,991
Tag! You're it! [Laughs]
192
00:06:44,059 --> 00:06:45,225
Wet Willy! Gross!
193
00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:46,527
Tag! You're it, Dick!
194
00:06:46,594 --> 00:06:47,928
We all know how this ends.
195
00:06:47,996 --> 00:06:49,463
I tag you. You tag me.
196
00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:51,231
I fall over and shatter my femur.
197
00:06:51,299 --> 00:06:52,800
Can we just cut to the chase?
198
00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:54,401
Dick, we told you...
199
00:06:54,468 --> 00:06:56,236
We're not playing paperwork again.
200
00:06:56,304 --> 00:06:57,237
Or filing.
201
00:06:57,305 --> 00:06:58,438
Let me give it to you straight.
202
00:06:58,506 --> 00:07:00,006
This relationship is over.
203
00:07:00,074 --> 00:07:02,008
I've drawn up a separation agreement,
204
00:07:02,076 --> 00:07:04,477
which bequeaths us equal
time in the clubhouse.
205
00:07:04,545 --> 00:07:05,301
Sign at the tabs.
206
00:07:05,302 --> 00:07:07,280
- I'm trying to make an 11:30 across town.
- [Sighs]
207
00:07:07,348 --> 00:07:10,050
Now I just need one good
statistic to impress father.
208
00:07:10,117 --> 00:07:11,184
[Murmurs]
209
00:07:11,252 --> 00:07:13,420
Hi, honey buns.
210
00:07:13,487 --> 00:07:15,509
[Murmuring] How's your day going?
211
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:18,491
I'm doing very well. Thanks for asking.
212
00:07:18,559 --> 00:07:19,759
Current...
213
00:07:19,827 --> 00:07:23,158
So, I met the most
interesting woman last night.
214
00:07:23,159 --> 00:07:25,532
I know you've been under
a lot of pressure lately,
215
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,051
so I thought it might help
if we went to talk to her.
216
00:07:28,052 --> 00:07:29,570
She's a therapist. See?
217
00:07:29,571 --> 00:07:31,104
- A therapist?!
- Yeah.
218
00:07:31,172 --> 00:07:32,239
Oh.
219
00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:33,440
I thought you were going to suggest
220
00:07:33,507 --> 00:07:35,703
something stupid and
beneath me, but a therapist!
221
00:07:35,704 --> 00:07:37,285
You don't say!
222
00:07:37,525 --> 00:07:38,849
[Sighs] May I see that?
223
00:07:38,850 --> 00:07:39,893
Oh, yes.
224
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:40,694
Ah.
225
00:07:42,230 --> 00:07:43,363
[Gasps]
226
00:07:43,431 --> 00:07:44,498
Thank you.
227
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,443
But...
228
00:07:45,444 --> 00:07:47,192
Therapist... Ridiculous!
229
00:07:47,193 --> 00:07:48,802
Therapy!
230
00:07:56,636 --> 00:07:58,645
One therapy, please.
231
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:09,130
I'm so excited to be in therapy!
232
00:08:09,158 --> 00:08:10,984
I feel like Tony Soprano.
233
00:08:10,985 --> 00:08:13,557
[American accent] "Carmela,
the ducks are back. Mortadella!"
234
00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:14,713
[Laughs]
235
00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:16,171
[Normal voice] Sorry. I'm rambling.
236
00:08:16,172 --> 00:08:18,799
I... I'm just not used to
having anyone listen to me.
237
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,132
So you feel no one listens to you?
238
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:22,567
Well, no.
239
00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:23,868
And your husband?
240
00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:26,204
We've been married for 1,402 years.
241
00:08:26,271 --> 00:08:28,272
Sometimes it feels that way, doesn't it?
242
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,042
Well, if by "sometimes," you
mean "literally," then yes.
243
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:34,078
Larry Bird and I used to
do everything together,
244
00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,652
but now he just locks
himself away in his garage
245
00:08:36,653 --> 00:08:37,715
with his computer.
246
00:08:37,722 --> 00:08:39,190
Have you checked his search history?
247
00:08:39,257 --> 00:08:41,792
Oh, of course. It's mostly just hair blogs.
248
00:08:41,860 --> 00:08:43,794
But who cares what he's searching for?
249
00:08:43,862 --> 00:08:46,030
Just please... Just make me feel better.
250
00:08:46,097 --> 00:08:47,698
You're a shrink! Shrink me!
251
00:08:47,766 --> 00:08:49,133
Ohh, Jackie.
252
00:08:49,201 --> 00:08:52,636
Sometimes therapy takes years
of hard work and reflection.
253
00:08:52,704 --> 00:08:55,222
But Dr. Phil does it in an hour...
254
00:08:55,223 --> 00:08:56,818
Just in time for "Family Feud."
255
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,277
And it's only 15 minutes
till the "Feud," Barb.
256
00:09:01,246 --> 00:09:04,915
Welcome to "The Butkus Group,"
a salon for higher thought.
257
00:09:04,983 --> 00:09:09,620
With me are the brightest minds
in science, media, and politics.
258
00:09:10,269 --> 00:09:12,734
Joel Stein, Time Magazine,
259
00:09:12,735 --> 00:09:14,681
Lawrence O'Donnell, MSNBC,
260
00:09:14,682 --> 00:09:17,697
and noted science guy
Bill Nye the science guy.
261
00:09:17,698 --> 00:09:18,903
W-why are we here?
262
00:09:18,904 --> 00:09:21,569
Metaphysical question... Good start.
263
00:09:21,637 --> 00:09:23,471
Lawrence O'Donnell, why are any of us here?
264
00:09:23,539 --> 00:09:27,342
Well, the Hindus believe
that the eternal spirit...
265
00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:29,043
No one cares! Next topic.
266
00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:30,912
Joel Stein, electoral college... go.
267
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,280
Uh, can I get another juice box?
268
00:09:32,348 --> 00:09:34,338
I am this close, Stein!
269
00:09:34,339 --> 00:09:36,773
Remember, you're only here
'cause Hawking demanded a ramp.
270
00:09:36,774 --> 00:09:38,468
Is this a real TV show?
271
00:09:38,469 --> 00:09:40,621
My friend, I've been
asking myself that question
272
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,325
for two seasons.
273
00:09:42,379 --> 00:09:45,179
Dick, the schedule says
we get the clubhouse now.
274
00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:46,111
Give me five minutes.
275
00:09:46,112 --> 00:09:48,484
Nye's gonna charge a
cellphone with a potato.
276
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:51,831
Y... you can't charge a
cellphone with a potato.
277
00:09:51,832 --> 00:09:53,489
There's too much internal resistance.
278
00:09:56,226 --> 00:09:57,627
Maybe Dick's right.
279
00:09:57,694 --> 00:09:59,829
Maybe we are too immature.
280
00:09:59,897 --> 00:10:02,732
[Sighs] Yeah. Good point, Abby.
281
00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:03,733
Wet Willy!
282
00:10:03,801 --> 00:10:04,766
[Laughing] Gross!
283
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:06,035
Don't wet Willy! Stop!
284
00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:07,103
Come here!
285
00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,404
Stop! Stop!
286
00:10:12,541 --> 00:10:19,273
[Both mumbling]
287
00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,575
Hey! You there!
288
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:22,068
Marty, stop your pacing and mumbling.
289
00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:24,070
It's interfering with
my mumbling and pacing.
290
00:10:24,137 --> 00:10:25,387
I'm sorry, Larry.
291
00:10:25,388 --> 00:10:26,689
You know, I've had quite a week,
292
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,324
and I'm just trying to
figure something out.
293
00:10:28,391 --> 00:10:30,292
Me too. What's your damage?
294
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:31,527
- Oh, it's no big deal.
- [Sighs]
295
00:10:31,594 --> 00:10:32,795
Debbie's a lousy bowler,
296
00:10:32,862 --> 00:10:34,363
and the guys want to kick her off the team.
297
00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:35,197
You?
298
00:10:35,264 --> 00:10:36,298
Oh, no big deal.
299
00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:37,966
I just failed my 10-year mission to Earth,
300
00:10:38,034 --> 00:10:39,668
and my father's gonna take my family away.
301
00:10:39,736 --> 00:10:41,503
But please... Tell me more about bowling.
302
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:42,938
This is a fun conversation.
303
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:44,273
The point is, I'm screwed.
304
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,821
All my Zabvronian underlings are useless!
305
00:10:46,822 --> 00:10:49,081
Well, Larry, you know, maybe
the other aliens are failing,
306
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,944
but your family's learned a lot.
307
00:10:50,945 --> 00:10:52,805
You know, I mean, Reggie dated my daughter.
308
00:10:52,873 --> 00:10:53,939
He alone has enough, uh...
309
00:10:54,007 --> 00:10:54,940
Shut up.
310
00:10:55,008 --> 00:10:55,841
What?
311
00:10:55,909 --> 00:10:57,143
- Shut up!
- What?
312
00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:59,412
You finally had a good idea. Don't ruin it.
313
00:10:59,479 --> 00:11:02,581
I got to start doing my
thinking indoors, huh?
314
00:11:02,649 --> 00:11:04,517
Marty, what are you
thinking about for dinner?
315
00:11:04,584 --> 00:11:05,618
Oh, hey, Lar.
316
00:11:05,685 --> 00:11:06,952
Debbie Weaver...
317
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:09,555
Your husband has just
given me great advice!
318
00:11:09,623 --> 00:11:12,103
I know! I'm as shocked as you are.
319
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:13,837
Well, my husband is a pretty great guy.
320
00:11:13,838 --> 00:11:15,670
All right, keep it in your pants.
321
00:11:15,929 --> 00:11:17,496
But as he has done me a solid,
322
00:11:17,564 --> 00:11:19,997
I will do him a solid in return.
323
00:11:19,998 --> 00:11:22,207
Debbie, Marty doesn't know how to tell you
324
00:11:22,275 --> 00:11:24,376
he's kicking you off the
bowling team because you stink.
325
00:11:24,443 --> 00:11:25,744
So, Debbie,
326
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,246
you're kicked off the bowling
team because you stink.
327
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,377
Don't bother to thank me. Bird out!
328
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,053
Oh, my goodness.
329
00:11:35,121 --> 00:11:36,421
I can't believe all the random emotions
330
00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:37,489
that are coming out of me.
331
00:11:37,557 --> 00:11:38,657
[Laughs]
332
00:11:38,724 --> 00:11:41,059
I feel like a Meryl Streep highlight reel.
333
00:11:41,127 --> 00:11:44,429
Oh, then I go from home
to work and work back home,
334
00:11:44,497 --> 00:11:46,932
and I'm not appreciated in either place.
335
00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:50,235
But, Jackie, you're an
intelligent, capable woman.
336
00:11:50,303 --> 00:11:53,071
Surely you can find
purpose in something else.
337
00:11:53,139 --> 00:11:55,004
Well, of course I can.
338
00:11:55,005 --> 00:11:57,126
I can do anything I want.
339
00:11:57,127 --> 00:11:58,241
But...
340
00:11:58,305 --> 00:12:01,446
What I really want is to
feel like I belong somewhere.
341
00:12:02,332 --> 00:12:03,912
Like somewhere is home.
342
00:12:03,913 --> 00:12:05,492
Okay.
343
00:12:05,493 --> 00:12:06,318
And...
344
00:12:07,070 --> 00:12:09,467
What exactly would make you feel like
345
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,159
this here is your home?
346
00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:13,239
Oh.
347
00:12:15,004 --> 00:12:16,793
All right, father, you wanted to know
348
00:12:16,799 --> 00:12:19,750
what we've learned this past year on Earth.
349
00:12:19,751 --> 00:12:23,509
May I present to you my son Reggie Jackson?
350
00:12:23,512 --> 00:12:26,709
Grandson! You look magnificent.
351
00:12:26,897 --> 00:12:29,494
Uh, did you get the
birthday check I sent to you?
352
00:12:29,495 --> 00:12:31,532
I got all $5, yes. Thank you.
353
00:12:31,557 --> 00:12:32,464
[Chuckles]
354
00:12:32,514 --> 00:12:36,793
Uh, Reggie, you dated a human female.
355
00:12:36,837 --> 00:12:38,226
What did she teach you?
356
00:12:38,264 --> 00:12:40,451
Oh! I learned more than you can imagine.
357
00:12:40,519 --> 00:12:42,386
Women are going to talk... A lot...
358
00:12:42,454 --> 00:12:44,054
And most of it's going to
be about their problems.
359
00:12:44,122 --> 00:12:45,559
Under no circumstances
360
00:12:45,572 --> 00:12:47,880
should you try to solve those problems.
361
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:48,681
Just nod,
362
00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:51,433
say "that sounds hard"
as many times as possible,
363
00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:52,460
and then buy them tapas.
364
00:12:52,466 --> 00:12:54,531
- I don't think...
- They love tapas.
365
00:12:54,651 --> 00:12:55,789
Makes them feel like they're traveling
366
00:12:55,808 --> 00:12:57,315
even though they're just at a strip mall.
367
00:12:57,334 --> 00:12:58,072
Enough!
368
00:12:58,304 --> 00:12:59,703
Reggie, I love you,
369
00:12:59,771 --> 00:13:02,640
but that was a horrible waste of time!
370
00:13:02,707 --> 00:13:05,042
Do you know how much these calls cost?
371
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:07,801
You could not be more out of network.
372
00:13:08,064 --> 00:13:08,946
Leave us.
373
00:13:09,628 --> 00:13:11,354
Oh, father, I know that didn't go
374
00:13:11,411 --> 00:13:13,406
- exactly as I wanted it, but...
- Quiet.
375
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:15,186
I can't cover for you anymore.
376
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:18,718
Your colony is worse than I realized.
377
00:13:18,750 --> 00:13:21,383
No! Eh... I just need more time.
378
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,001
Enough!
379
00:13:22,121 --> 00:13:23,723
It's over, son!
380
00:13:23,961 --> 00:13:26,438
You've failed me for the last time!
381
00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:29,135
Someone needs to clean up your mess.
382
00:13:29,385 --> 00:13:30,499
So...
383
00:13:30,619 --> 00:13:32,933
I'm sending him.
384
00:13:32,989 --> 00:13:33,764
[Gasps]
385
00:13:33,884 --> 00:13:35,122
Kisses to Jackie.
386
00:13:35,154 --> 00:13:38,301
Tell Dick and Reggie
Grandpa Snuggy loves them.
387
00:13:38,421 --> 00:13:39,276
[Chuckles]
388
00:13:48,836 --> 00:13:51,721
Can't believe you want me off the team!
389
00:13:51,955 --> 00:13:52,753
[Sighs]
390
00:13:52,772 --> 00:13:55,474
What wine pairs best
with husband's betrayal?
391
00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:56,494
Oh, screw it.
392
00:13:56,614 --> 00:13:58,227
I'm gonna have the cake.
393
00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,378
Deb, I'm sorry.
394
00:13:59,429 --> 00:14:00,763
I-I don't want to kick you off the team.
395
00:14:00,831 --> 00:14:02,331
It's Oscar and Lana.
396
00:14:02,399 --> 00:14:04,133
Now, they really... they really
want to win this championship.
397
00:14:04,158 --> 00:14:05,441
Why didn't you say something to me?
398
00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:06,723
Why did I have to hear it from Larry?
399
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:08,056
'Cause I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
400
00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:09,426
Oh. How's that working for you?
401
00:14:09,464 --> 00:14:10,957
Bad. Badly. Pretty bad.
402
00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:13,378
Um, look, the thing is, we've
been working really hard,
403
00:14:13,434 --> 00:14:15,924
you know, and it might be
nice to win a championship.
404
00:14:16,112 --> 00:14:17,870
So do you think that maybe you could focus
405
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,391
some of your dancing
energy into bowling energy?
406
00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:23,119
Wow. Turning on the dancing.
407
00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:25,545
Well, if that's what you
want, that's what you'll get...
408
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:27,511
Focus, all focus.
409
00:14:27,548 --> 00:14:29,713
No more dancing. No fun.
410
00:14:29,833 --> 00:14:31,294
I'll be in the bathtub.
411
00:14:33,023 --> 00:14:34,568
Okay, no fun!
412
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,433
Sounds... fun.
413
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:39,831
Wow.
414
00:14:39,861 --> 00:14:41,733
Are you sure that's what you want, Jackie?
415
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,801
I mean, it's an awfully big decision.
416
00:14:43,869 --> 00:14:45,570
It is. [Sighs]
417
00:14:45,638 --> 00:14:46,904
But yes... I'm sure.
418
00:14:46,972 --> 00:14:48,773
Well, then you have to tell Larry tonight.
419
00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:51,209
It's time your needs come first.
420
00:14:51,277 --> 00:14:53,044
All right. I'll tell him.
421
00:14:53,398 --> 00:14:56,447
Oh, thank you so much for
everything this week, Barb.
422
00:14:57,251 --> 00:14:59,780
Dr. Phil's got nothing on you.
423
00:15:00,074 --> 00:15:01,838
Except the television show.
424
00:15:02,163 --> 00:15:03,390
And the books.
425
00:15:03,457 --> 00:15:04,457
And the money.
426
00:15:04,525 --> 00:15:05,492
[Chuckles]
427
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:06,875
- And the mustache!
- Okay.
428
00:15:06,995 --> 00:15:08,762
[Chuckles] We'll see you next time.
429
00:15:08,829 --> 00:15:09,996
Sorry.
430
00:15:17,171 --> 00:15:18,371
Hey, Dick,
431
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,507
isn't this your fancy
talking time in the salon?
432
00:15:20,574 --> 00:15:24,124
Yeah. O'Donnell's doing
another rant on the tea party.
433
00:15:24,244 --> 00:15:25,278
I needed a breather.
434
00:15:25,345 --> 00:15:26,379
Abby: Ugh. I hear you.
435
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,713
You've been to one tea party,
436
00:15:27,781 --> 00:15:28,815
you've been to all of them.
437
00:15:28,882 --> 00:15:29,982
Shouldn't you guys be
438
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:31,451
throwing water balloons at cars right now?
439
00:15:31,518 --> 00:15:32,318
Yeah.
440
00:15:32,386 --> 00:15:34,387
We tried. A few honked.
441
00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,355
One guy gave us the finger!
442
00:15:36,423 --> 00:15:38,024
But it didn't have that old magic
443
00:15:38,092 --> 00:15:39,802
without you lecturing us.
444
00:15:40,210 --> 00:15:41,358
[Sighs] You know,
445
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,988
maybe I was a bit hasty
about breaking us up.
446
00:15:44,251 --> 00:15:46,516
sGot any plans for those
extra water balloons?
447
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,163
I'm pretty sure fossils
were put there by the devil
448
00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:50,900
to confuse you.
449
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,554
At what magazine do you work?
450
00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:57,392
[Laughter]
451
00:15:58,528 --> 00:15:59,728
[Indistinct shouting]
452
00:15:59,796 --> 00:16:01,296
[Splashing]
453
00:16:02,499 --> 00:16:04,399
[Indistinct conversations]
454
00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:06,401
[Cheering in distance]
455
00:16:06,469 --> 00:16:07,402
[Pins clatter]
456
00:16:07,470 --> 00:16:08,432
What's she doing here?
457
00:16:08,463 --> 00:16:11,436
Oh, hi, Oscar, Lana.
458
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,175
I'm so sorry. Should I turn around?
459
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,377
I know you're more comfortable
460
00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:15,828
talking about me behind my back.
461
00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:17,492
Oh, it was nothing personal, Debbie.
462
00:16:17,536 --> 00:16:19,214
We... We just want to win.
463
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,609
Oh, me too. Me too!
464
00:16:21,659 --> 00:16:23,305
It is all I care about now.
465
00:16:23,336 --> 00:16:24,850
Let's have a terrible time.
466
00:16:25,121 --> 00:16:26,234
Okay!
467
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:27,489
[Sighs]
468
00:16:27,557 --> 00:16:29,858
["Eye Of The Tiger" plays]
469
00:16:53,351 --> 00:16:55,452
Rising up
470
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,455
Back on the street
471
00:16:58,523 --> 00:16:59,890
Did my time, took my chances
472
00:16:59,957 --> 00:17:01,224
[Cheering]
473
00:17:01,292 --> 00:17:02,837
What do you say?! Right here!
474
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,929
Went the distance,
now I'm back on my feet
475
00:17:05,997 --> 00:17:10,000
Just a man and his will to survive
476
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:13,937
It's the eye of the tiger,
it's the thrill of the fight
477
00:17:14,005 --> 00:17:18,542
Rising up to the
challenge of our rival
478
00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:21,111
And the last known survivor
479
00:17:21,179 --> 00:17:22,412
Stalks his prey in the night...
480
00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:24,031
All right.
481
00:17:24,732 --> 00:17:25,889
Okay, so, Deb,
482
00:17:25,889 --> 00:17:28,628
we are down by one pin,
with one ball to go.
483
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:29,843
Your ball.
484
00:17:30,854 --> 00:17:32,308
You can do this, Deb.
485
00:17:32,621 --> 00:17:34,242
Piece of cake.
486
00:17:35,094 --> 00:17:36,819
Don't worry. I won't screw it up.
487
00:17:39,663 --> 00:17:41,430
[Sighs]
488
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:45,441
[Sighs] Deb, wait!
489
00:17:47,562 --> 00:17:48,888
I don't want this.
490
00:17:49,814 --> 00:17:51,541
Listen, watching you
491
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:54,069
laugh and dance around
the lanes like you do...
492
00:17:54,077 --> 00:17:56,628
That's my favorite part of bowling night.
493
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,500
You got that creaky robot, right?
494
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:02,251
[Imitates creaky whirring]
495
00:18:02,822 --> 00:18:04,261
It's a little creakier than that.
496
00:18:04,261 --> 00:18:05,371
Well, then you got
497
00:18:05,374 --> 00:18:07,207
the "fist pump/ raise the roof" combo.
498
00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:08,409
There it is.
499
00:18:08,414 --> 00:18:10,316
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, you go, girl.
500
00:18:10,385 --> 00:18:11,142
And then you got that thing
501
00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:12,325
where it looks like
you're washing the windows.
502
00:18:12,368 --> 00:18:13,895
I think you're washing... There it is, see?
503
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,666
I don't even know what
that is, but I love it.
504
00:18:15,722 --> 00:18:16,799
That's great.
505
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:21,165
Listen, we may not bowl
a perfect score together,
506
00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:23,267
but we are a perfect team.
507
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:26,904
Without you, I lose no matter what.
508
00:18:27,465 --> 00:18:29,223
That is so cheesy.
509
00:18:29,236 --> 00:18:30,575
I know. I think it's the beer.
510
00:18:30,695 --> 00:18:31,876
You should probably drive home.
511
00:18:31,943 --> 00:18:33,143
Yes.
512
00:18:33,578 --> 00:18:35,012
All right, I want you...
513
00:18:35,431 --> 00:18:38,277
To go out there and be adorably horrible.
514
00:18:38,327 --> 00:18:39,848
- That, I can do!
- All right!
515
00:18:39,873 --> 00:18:40,918
Yes! Yes!
516
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:42,720
-
Yeah, I'm gonna be
- Come on, Debbie.
517
00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:44,171
All: [Chanting] Debbie, Debbie!
518
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,023
I'm gonna be the one you want
519
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:48,092
Debbie! Debbie! Debbie! Debbie!
520
00:18:48,159 --> 00:18:50,561
Yeah, I'm gonna be
521
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:53,430
I'm gonna be the lucky one
522
00:18:56,308 --> 00:18:57,541
Oh, wife, there you are.
523
00:18:57,609 --> 00:18:59,710
I have a problem, and
I need to talk to you.
524
00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:04,048
Oh, you want to talk to me
now that you have a problem?
525
00:19:04,116 --> 00:19:05,807
Yes. I'm glad we're on the same page.
526
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:06,777
Uh, what was I saying?
527
00:19:06,785 --> 00:19:09,985
No, husband, I will not listen
to your problems tonight.
528
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,089
I have needed you the past few weeks,
529
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,072
and you've been locked away
in that garage, ignoring me.
530
00:19:14,091 --> 00:19:16,005
Yes, I've been involved in
some very important work.
531
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:17,443
I am important, husband.
532
00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:19,271
What I want is important.
533
00:19:19,277 --> 00:19:21,760
I want to know that
this planet is our home.
534
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,684
I want to know that... That
we belong here permanently.
535
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,360
Or at least for a few more seasons.
536
00:19:27,372 --> 00:19:29,413
- I want...
- Oh, for God's sake, just say what you're gonna say.
537
00:19:29,444 --> 00:19:30,650
Then we can get on to my thing.
538
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,309
I want to have another baby.
539
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:33,334
What? [Door opens]
540
00:19:33,347 --> 00:19:36,144
Who wants to celebrate?!
541
00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:37,114
[Both cheering]
542
00:19:37,564 --> 00:19:39,066
You won the competition?
543
00:19:39,084 --> 00:19:40,780
Oh, no. We lost... miserably.
544
00:19:40,799 --> 00:19:42,061
It was... It was awesome!
545
00:19:42,075 --> 00:19:44,715
I missed everything... All
the pins! I was on fire!
546
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:45,885
Oh, my God, she sucks!
547
00:19:46,005 --> 00:19:47,218
Who wants ice cream?!
548
00:19:47,236 --> 00:19:48,816
- I do!
- Me!
549
00:19:48,819 --> 00:19:49,945
Everything okay, Jack?
550
00:19:54,507 --> 00:19:55,871
Can I help you?
551
00:19:56,058 --> 00:19:57,962
My wife seems to think so.
552
00:19:58,273 --> 00:19:59,731
I'm Larry Bird,
553
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,877
and I need someone to talk to.
554
00:20:01,914 --> 00:20:03,560
Uh, sure. That's great.
555
00:20:03,597 --> 00:20:06,200
But it's awfully late.
Can it wait until morning?
556
00:20:06,231 --> 00:20:07,004
No.
557
00:20:09,184 --> 00:20:10,808
He's already on his way.
558
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,877
[Eerie music playing]
559
00:20:21,348 --> 00:20:23,006
[British accent] All right.
560
00:20:23,244 --> 00:20:26,324
Let's see what mess you've
made for me to clean up.
561
00:20:36,279 --> 00:20:37,505
I'm here.
562
00:20:38,269 --> 00:20:39,920
I've been expecting you...
563
00:20:40,602 --> 00:20:41,502
Brother.
564
00:20:55,358 --> 00:20:57,708
Bill Nye the science guy,
did you eat all the pizza?
565
00:20:57,746 --> 00:21:01,155
[Sighs] You should call yourself
bill nye the selfish guy.
566
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:02,619
Oh, burn!
567
00:21:04,641 --> 00:21:06,467
Debbie: Oh, my God.
568
00:21:06,668 --> 00:21:09,008
This dream again.
569
00:21:09,233 --> 00:21:11,998
Usually, you guys are dressed as firemen,
570
00:21:12,042 --> 00:21:13,331
but this'll do.
571
00:21:13,375 --> 00:21:14,426
So...
572
00:21:15,058 --> 00:21:17,048
Who wants to save me first?
573
00:21:17,267 --> 00:21:18,418
[Exhales deeply]
574
00:21:18,437 --> 00:21:19,456
[Thud]
575
00:21:19,813 --> 00:21:21,246
Marty: Deborah?
576
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:23,730
Why are all three of your
hall passes in our kitchen?
577
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:25,194
And what are you doing on the floor?
578
00:21:25,314 --> 00:21:26,727
Oh, my God.
579
00:21:27,279 --> 00:21:29,042
This isn't a dream? This is real?
580
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:30,455
I think she likes us.
581
00:21:30,575 --> 00:21:32,371
You think, genius?
582
00:21:36,431 --> 00:21:42,162
Sync & Corrections by Darcade
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583
00:21:42,212 --> 00:21:46,762
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