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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,056 --> 00:00:05,307 Okay, guys, here are your pancakes. 2 00:00:05,342 --> 00:00:06,925 [Groans] Marty: What's with the long faces? 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,711 You know, some of my best memories 4 00:00:08,762 --> 00:00:11,146 are of my mom making me pancakes in the morning. 5 00:00:11,181 --> 00:00:13,949 Were they gluten-free flaxseed pancakes, too? 6 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:15,767 It's not really the greatest thing 7 00:00:15,801 --> 00:00:18,770 when a pancake's best attribute is that it helps you go. 8 00:00:18,804 --> 00:00:20,021 [Laughs] 9 00:00:20,056 --> 00:00:22,507 Okay, Larry, Moe, and Curly, eat your breakfast. 10 00:00:22,525 --> 00:00:25,677 [Raspy voice] Hello, Clarice. 11 00:00:25,711 --> 00:00:27,645 Abby, do that again. That could totally go viral. 12 00:00:27,663 --> 00:00:29,014 Come here. [Chuckles] 13 00:00:29,848 --> 00:00:31,132 Okay, you know what? Be careful with all that facebooking. 14 00:00:31,166 --> 00:00:34,018 One dumb mistake could follow you for the rest of your life. 15 00:00:34,052 --> 00:00:36,337 - Thank God there wasn't a Facebook when we were kids. - Ohh. 16 00:00:36,371 --> 00:00:37,938 I'm sure there's an embarrassing selfie 17 00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,207 of you on the wall of a cave somewhere. [Both laugh] 18 00:00:40,242 --> 00:00:42,326 Breakfast is a lot meaner than it used to be. 19 00:00:43,060 --> 00:00:46,062 Mm. Guys, F.Y.I., I'm doing the school volcano thing 20 00:00:46,097 --> 00:00:47,164 in my room today. 21 00:00:47,198 --> 00:00:48,782 I'm pretty psyched. 22 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,700 Okay, just try not to do the "burning down the house" thing today. 23 00:00:50,735 --> 00:00:53,637 Mm-hmm. Speaking of burning, do you hear that sound 24 00:00:53,671 --> 00:00:57,057 of that sweet, sweet cheddar burning a hole in my piggy bank? 25 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:59,442 [Coins rattling] Looks like somebody's getting herself 26 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,911 another horsey doll. 27 00:01:00,945 --> 00:01:01,905 Hmm. You know what, Abby? 28 00:01:01,913 --> 00:01:03,153 You already have a horsey doll. 29 00:01:03,181 --> 00:01:06,082 Maybe you should use that money for something you need, 30 00:01:06,716 --> 00:01:08,618 - like rain boots. - Yes, yes. 31 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,237 Do you even hear yourselves anymore? 32 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:12,955 - Just tragic. Amber: The worst. 33 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,107 - Let's get out of here. Debbie: What? 34 00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,074 What the hell is happening? 35 00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:16,292 I-I don't get it. 36 00:01:16,926 --> 00:01:19,028 - It's like living in north Korea. - Hello, Weavers. 37 00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:20,312 Good morning 38 00:01:20,363 --> 00:01:22,564 Ask him about the envelope. It'll save us a lot of time. 39 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:23,565 - So... - Too late. 40 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,300 How are you doing this fine morning? 41 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,019 [Inhales deeply] A little balmy, isn't it? 42 00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:28,354 Think I'll just fan myself a bit 43 00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:31,056 with this important envelope that I have here in my hand. 44 00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:34,343 [Sighs] 45 00:01:34,377 --> 00:01:35,944 So, what do you got there, Larry? 46 00:01:35,978 --> 00:01:37,713 What? Oh, this? 47 00:01:37,747 --> 00:01:39,715 Uh, just an invitation to a wedding. 48 00:01:39,749 --> 00:01:41,066 No big deal. Whatever. 49 00:01:42,401 --> 00:01:44,402 My husband's co-worker from the coffee shop 50 00:01:44,436 --> 00:01:46,337 has invited him to his traditional Indian wedding. 51 00:01:46,388 --> 00:01:48,939 Yay! Oh, what am I going to wear? 52 00:01:48,974 --> 00:01:51,625 I need something that's gonna make me really stand out. 53 00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:52,926 You know, makes me the center of attention? 54 00:01:52,944 --> 00:01:55,829 I'm going to wear a beautiful white gown. 55 00:01:55,847 --> 00:01:57,314 Debbie: Oh, whoa, guys. 56 00:01:57,366 --> 00:01:58,616 [Chuckling] Sorry, slow down. 57 00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,869 Jackie, you can't wear a white gown to someone else's wedding. 58 00:02:01,903 --> 00:02:03,320 Marty: I mean, if you guys want to go to a wedding, 59 00:02:03,372 --> 00:02:04,505 you should probably sit down with us 60 00:02:04,539 --> 00:02:06,006 for a couple hours first, and then you could learn 61 00:02:06,024 --> 00:02:07,575 all of the different things you would need to know... 62 00:02:07,609 --> 00:02:10,477 - What not to do. - And learn the tradition... 63 00:02:11,095 --> 00:02:13,146 Oh, great... here come the "holier than thou" Weavers, 64 00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:14,982 telling us all about what we aren't capable 65 00:02:15,016 --> 00:02:16,133 of doing on our own. 66 00:02:16,167 --> 00:02:18,719 How many more times are we gonna have to do this? 67 00:02:18,753 --> 00:02:20,520 Don't you remember what happened last year when you said 68 00:02:20,538 --> 00:02:22,222 we couldn't go to that Broadway musical on our own? 69 00:02:22,256 --> 00:02:24,157 Yeah, you tried putting on your own Broadway musical, 70 00:02:24,192 --> 00:02:25,709 Dick Butkus fell in the well, 71 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,061 and you almost ended up being exposed as aliens. 72 00:02:28,096 --> 00:02:29,997 Yes, Marty, but this isn't season one anymore. 73 00:02:30,631 --> 00:02:31,948 Come, wife. 74 00:02:31,999 --> 00:02:34,684 Let's go work on our memorable surprise toast. 75 00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:36,703 We'll open with Jay's previous girlfriends, 76 00:02:36,737 --> 00:02:39,072 then we'll discuss his brother's closeted homosexuality, 77 00:02:39,106 --> 00:02:41,207 and then I'll close with how much he hates his in-laws. 78 00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:43,710 Don't forget to mention religion and politics. 79 00:02:43,744 --> 00:02:44,727 Got it. 80 00:02:44,762 --> 00:02:46,195 You know, you add six gin and tonics 81 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,713 and a racist remark about the busboy, 82 00:02:47,731 --> 00:02:49,983 that's your mother's toast at our wedding. 83 00:02:50,717 --> 00:02:51,783 - Yes. - Right? 84 00:02:51,801 --> 00:02:53,085 Thought it sounded familiar. 85 00:02:53,103 --> 00:02:54,720 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 86 00:02:54,754 --> 00:02:56,188 87 00:02:56,222 --> 00:03:00,025 We came from outer space and settled in New Jersey 88 00:03:00,060 --> 00:03:03,862 we took names like Larry Bird and Jackie Joyner-Kersee 89 00:03:03,897 --> 00:03:06,031 then the humans moved next door 90 00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:08,200 started testing all our limits 91 00:03:08,234 --> 00:03:10,369 so sit right down, enjoy the show 92 00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:13,205 we'll be done in 30 minutes 93 00:03:13,239 --> 00:03:14,740 sync and corrections by bellows www.addic7ed.com 94 00:03:14,874 --> 00:03:18,543 Family, the naysayers next door think we aren't capable 95 00:03:18,577 --> 00:03:21,213 of attending this traditional Indian wedding 96 00:03:21,247 --> 00:03:23,465 without making a spectacle of ourselves. 97 00:03:23,516 --> 00:03:24,967 What do you say?! 98 00:03:25,018 --> 00:03:27,085 Are we ready to show them what we're made of? 99 00:03:27,103 --> 00:03:29,587 - Yes! - Yes! - Never works out for us. 100 00:03:29,605 --> 00:03:32,257 Wife, where are we with the gifts? Hmm? 101 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:34,926 Oh, I found something online called the gift registry. 102 00:03:34,978 --> 00:03:37,562 - Evidently, they've already chosen their gifts. - Nonsense! 103 00:03:37,596 --> 00:03:39,597 If Jay and the future Mrs. Jay know what's good for them, 104 00:03:39,615 --> 00:03:41,433 they'll let Larry Bird decide what's good for them. 105 00:03:41,451 --> 00:03:43,435 Dick, wow me with wardrobe. 106 00:03:43,453 --> 00:03:44,820 It's a sari. [Sorry] 107 00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:45,871 There's no need to apologize. 108 00:03:45,905 --> 00:03:46,872 Oh, boy. 109 00:03:46,906 --> 00:03:48,657 Reggie Jackson, talk to me. 110 00:03:48,708 --> 00:03:50,325 I checked out every movie at the local library 111 00:03:50,376 --> 00:03:51,443 with the words "Indian wedding" in them. 112 00:03:51,461 --> 00:03:52,577 Larry: Brilliant! 113 00:03:52,611 --> 00:03:54,746 We'll watch them all and learn everything. 114 00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:57,749 We'll show these Weavers 115 00:03:57,783 --> 00:03:59,251 we don't need their help. 116 00:03:59,285 --> 00:04:01,253 We're a sophisticated species. 117 00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:03,288 Damn it. This stupid remote. 118 00:04:03,306 --> 00:04:05,257 [Static] How do you get the DVD? 119 00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:07,843 I think you turn the cable box off. TV's back on. Back off. 120 00:04:07,877 --> 00:04:09,127 Is this even the right remote? 121 00:04:09,145 --> 00:04:10,729 Dick, have you been playing with these things again? 122 00:04:10,763 --> 00:04:12,064 - No. - Dick? 123 00:04:12,098 --> 00:04:14,232 - What's a-u-x? - Dick, keep out of it! 124 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:15,600 Got to aim it directly. 125 00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:17,069 Yes. I know. 126 00:04:17,103 --> 00:04:18,236 [Birds chirping] 127 00:04:18,271 --> 00:04:19,905 Hmm. 128 00:04:19,939 --> 00:04:22,891 Haven't seen a Bird or a Kersee all day. 129 00:04:22,925 --> 00:04:25,444 - Feels weird. - It's so quiet. 130 00:04:25,478 --> 00:04:28,196 Could we actually be getting an alien-free weekend? 131 00:04:28,247 --> 00:04:29,448 Oh, don't say it out loud. 132 00:04:29,482 --> 00:04:30,532 You'll jinx it. [Laughs] 133 00:04:30,583 --> 00:04:32,784 What should we do with all our free time? 134 00:04:32,818 --> 00:04:33,818 Oh, come on. What shouldn't we do? 135 00:04:33,836 --> 00:04:34,953 Let's have a picnic. 136 00:04:34,987 --> 00:04:37,622 A picnic... I love that idea! 137 00:04:37,656 --> 00:04:39,624 Yeah, we always wanted to have a picnic 138 00:04:39,658 --> 00:04:41,259 ever since your mom got us that picnic basket 139 00:04:41,294 --> 00:04:42,627 for our wedding gift. 140 00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:44,296 I remember... we were gonna have that romantic picnic 141 00:04:44,330 --> 00:04:46,048 that one time. Whatever happened with that? 142 00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:47,215 [Clicks tongue] Uh... 143 00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:48,730 Oh, yeah, that was the day I found out 144 00:04:48,768 --> 00:04:50,001 I was pregnant with Amber. 145 00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:52,637 Right, right. And then our lives ended. 146 00:04:52,672 --> 00:04:54,005 Mm. 147 00:04:54,023 --> 00:04:55,941 [Birds chirping] You want to have a picnic? 148 00:04:55,975 --> 00:04:56,975 Yeah! 149 00:04:57,009 --> 00:04:58,643 Okay. Come on. 150 00:04:58,677 --> 00:04:59,677 [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 151 00:04:59,695 --> 00:05:01,563 [Singing in native language] 152 00:05:03,116 --> 00:05:05,400 So many songs. 153 00:05:05,451 --> 00:05:07,235 So many horses. 154 00:05:07,286 --> 00:05:10,956 So many mustaches. What is this? 155 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:12,858 It's called Bollywood, dick, 156 00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:16,728 and it is the most gorgeous thing these eyes have ever seen. 157 00:05:16,763 --> 00:05:20,365 The spectacle, the color, the misogyny. 158 00:05:20,383 --> 00:05:23,368 These Indians... They really get it. 159 00:05:23,402 --> 00:05:25,170 They even have an expression for it. 160 00:05:25,204 --> 00:05:28,023 It's "balle balle." 161 00:05:28,057 --> 00:05:29,424 Full disclosure... I may have nodded off 162 00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,827 after four hours of watching people dance around on trains. 163 00:05:31,861 --> 00:05:34,212 - What's a "balli balli"? - No, it's balle balle. 164 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:35,664 It's their life philosophy. 165 00:05:35,698 --> 00:05:37,749 It's like "hakuna matata" but for Indians. 166 00:05:37,817 --> 00:05:41,219 It means "go big or go home." 167 00:05:41,237 --> 00:05:42,654 Unlike the Weavers, 168 00:05:42,688 --> 00:05:45,457 who survive by saying, "no, no, no," to everything, 169 00:05:45,491 --> 00:05:48,326 these Indian musicals are all about "yes, yes, yes!" 170 00:05:48,361 --> 00:05:49,661 And "more, more, more!" 171 00:05:49,695 --> 00:05:51,730 Balle balle! Say it with me! 172 00:05:51,764 --> 00:05:54,099 Dick, you're my fourth favorite. You give it a go. 173 00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:56,601 Fourth? But there's only three of us. 174 00:05:57,336 --> 00:05:59,237 Oh, you're forgetting about our someday baby, Elaine. 175 00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,190 It goes Reggie, Jackie, Elaine, then you. 176 00:06:02,241 --> 00:06:03,658 I hate you, Elaine. 177 00:06:03,692 --> 00:06:05,576 Balle balle. 178 00:06:05,594 --> 00:06:06,677 [Sighing] Oh. 179 00:06:06,712 --> 00:06:08,246 Hypothetical Elaine would do it better. 180 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,465 She'd sing it like they do in the musicals. 181 00:06:11,517 --> 00:06:12,934 [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 182 00:06:12,985 --> 00:06:17,605 Balle balle 183 00:06:17,639 --> 00:06:21,025 balle balle 184 00:06:21,059 --> 00:06:23,528 whoo, that does feel good. 185 00:06:26,563 --> 00:06:28,814 Hey, Max. Can we talk to you for a second? 186 00:06:28,865 --> 00:06:31,567 Oh, no, is it grandma or grandpa? 187 00:06:31,602 --> 00:06:34,153 Will I have to miss school for the funeral? 188 00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:36,689 [Gasps] Oh, honey, nobody died. 189 00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:37,857 We just wanted to see if you wanted to 190 00:06:37,891 --> 00:06:39,859 go on a picnic with us. What do you say? 191 00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:41,244 Nah. I'm good. 192 00:06:41,278 --> 00:06:42,845 So, let me get this straight. 193 00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:45,381 Funeral here, picnic with us here. 194 00:06:45,415 --> 00:06:46,482 Um... 195 00:06:46,516 --> 00:06:49,502 Stop me anytime, Max. 196 00:06:49,553 --> 00:06:51,637 Yeah, there. Okay. 197 00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:53,122 [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 198 00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:56,392 Balle balle 199 00:06:56,426 --> 00:06:58,661 balle balle 200 00:06:58,695 --> 00:07:01,013 Now we're cooking with curry! Try it again. 201 00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:02,898 Balle balle 202 00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:05,501 these bollywood musicals have it all figured out. 203 00:07:05,535 --> 00:07:08,621 Life isn't about "no, no, no" and "less, less, less." 204 00:07:08,672 --> 00:07:09,939 Balle balle 205 00:07:09,973 --> 00:07:12,391 it's about "more, more, more" and "yes, yes, yes"! 206 00:07:12,442 --> 00:07:14,910 Balle balle, balle balle 207 00:07:14,945 --> 00:07:16,212 balle balle 208 00:07:16,246 --> 00:07:18,347 balle balle 209 00:07:18,382 --> 00:07:19,565 Go big... 210 00:07:19,616 --> 00:07:20,533 Whoo! 211 00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:21,701 Or go home 212 00:07:21,735 --> 00:07:22,752 ooh! 213 00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,086 This is big, guys. 214 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,355 Mm-hmm. This is really big. 215 00:07:27,373 --> 00:07:28,756 [Giggles] Mm-hmm. 216 00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:31,392 Hey, sweetie. 217 00:07:31,427 --> 00:07:33,428 Go away. I'm shooting an ironic vine. 218 00:07:33,462 --> 00:07:35,480 Well, we were just wondering if you'd be interested 219 00:07:35,531 --> 00:07:37,549 in going on a picnic with us. 220 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,651 Oh, my God, that was perfect. 221 00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:41,269 Can you say that again? 222 00:07:41,303 --> 00:07:43,988 [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 223 00:07:44,023 --> 00:07:46,174 Balle balle 224 00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:48,276 balle balle 225 00:07:48,310 --> 00:07:51,513 what's that strange and exotic word you keep saying? 226 00:07:51,547 --> 00:07:52,964 We're not saying it. We're singing it. 227 00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:54,515 And it's "balle balle," Mary Lou retton. 228 00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:56,835 It means "go big or go home." 229 00:07:56,886 --> 00:08:00,505 Both: balle balle 230 00:08:00,556 --> 00:08:02,740 Okay, in the bollywood movies, when everyone dances, 231 00:08:02,775 --> 00:08:05,393 they turn the light bulb, then pet the dog. 232 00:08:05,427 --> 00:08:06,344 Ah. 233 00:08:06,395 --> 00:08:07,895 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog. 234 00:08:07,913 --> 00:08:09,830 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog. 235 00:08:09,849 --> 00:08:11,132 Everybody try. 236 00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:13,518 All: Turn the light bulb, pet the dog. 237 00:08:13,569 --> 00:08:15,803 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog. 238 00:08:17,138 --> 00:08:19,823 Wonderful! Now let's try it with even more people. 239 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,092 People. [Laughter] 240 00:08:22,143 --> 00:08:23,310 [Knock on door] 241 00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:25,979 Abby, put on your sneakers. We're going for a picnic. 242 00:08:26,013 --> 00:08:28,565 A picnic? That sounds boring. 243 00:08:28,599 --> 00:08:30,817 I promised horsey we would have a tea party. 244 00:08:30,852 --> 00:08:33,370 You don't want to make a liar out of me, do you? 245 00:08:33,404 --> 00:08:34,704 [Sighs] 246 00:08:34,755 --> 00:08:37,707 [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 247 00:08:37,758 --> 00:08:39,709 Balle balle [Choir vocalizing] 248 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,963 To bursting into song in the middle of the street! 249 00:08:42,997 --> 00:08:44,264 Balle balle 250 00:08:44,298 --> 00:08:47,100 to making funny faces and hiding behind trees! 251 00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,635 Balle balle 252 00:08:48,669 --> 00:08:51,471 to being caught up in complicated love triangles! 253 00:08:51,505 --> 00:08:53,473 Balle balle 254 00:08:53,507 --> 00:08:56,476 to beautiful costumes and golden bangles! 255 00:08:56,510 --> 00:08:58,945 Balle balle, balle balle 256 00:08:58,980 --> 00:09:00,280 balle balle 257 00:09:00,314 --> 00:09:02,399 balle balle 258 00:09:02,450 --> 00:09:03,617 go big 259 00:09:03,651 --> 00:09:06,069 or go home 260 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,320 [sighs] 261 00:09:07,754 --> 00:09:09,389 My fellow zabvronians, 262 00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:13,192 I have been invited to a traditional Indian wedding. 263 00:09:13,227 --> 00:09:14,811 [All gasp] 264 00:09:14,862 --> 00:09:16,863 And I have decided on the perfect wedding gift. 265 00:09:16,897 --> 00:09:18,398 [Gasps] Is it a cuisinart? 266 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:20,766 Apparently, they're a very popular wedding gift. 267 00:09:20,784 --> 00:09:22,101 Larry: Popular?! 268 00:09:22,119 --> 00:09:23,936 Do you know who's popular? 269 00:09:23,971 --> 00:09:26,706 Oprah is popular. 270 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,875 George Clooney is popular. 271 00:09:28,909 --> 00:09:32,378 Do we want to be like Oprah Winfrey or George Clooney? 272 00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,413 Man: Sure. Yeah. 273 00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,547 That wouldn't suck. I'd like that. 274 00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:36,782 Did we learn nothing from "balle balle"? 275 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:41,187 We must go big or, as we all agreed, go home. 276 00:09:41,221 --> 00:09:43,673 So we will be their gift 277 00:09:43,724 --> 00:09:47,510 in the form of an elaborate Bollywood musical number. 278 00:09:47,561 --> 00:09:49,095 [All gasp] 279 00:09:49,129 --> 00:09:51,564 But first, I must fill in this rsvp. 280 00:09:51,598 --> 00:09:52,882 Chicken or fish? 281 00:09:52,916 --> 00:09:54,851 All: Fish! - Really? 282 00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:57,453 Larry Bird plus 50. [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 283 00:10:07,063 --> 00:10:09,281 Since you all will be joining us at a traditional Indian wedding, 284 00:10:09,332 --> 00:10:10,765 are there any questions? 285 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:11,833 What's a wedding? 286 00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,168 [Indian accent] What's an Indian? 287 00:10:13,202 --> 00:10:14,736 Okay, that'll do it for the questions. 288 00:10:14,770 --> 00:10:17,505 Community, our Bollywood musical number 289 00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:19,224 is gonna be the best gift there. 290 00:10:19,258 --> 00:10:20,959 Let's hear some ideas for the production. 291 00:10:21,010 --> 00:10:22,310 I'll say no to none of them. 292 00:10:22,345 --> 00:10:24,196 How about a puppy dog dressed as a penguin? 293 00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:26,848 How about a sword swallower dressed as a penguin? 294 00:10:26,883 --> 00:10:28,733 How about a fire-eater? 295 00:10:29,986 --> 00:10:31,102 Dressed as a penguin. 296 00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:32,377 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 297 00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:35,240 You get a yes, you get a yes, and you get a yes. 298 00:10:35,274 --> 00:10:36,794 Nothing says "Bollywood" like penguins. 299 00:10:37,592 --> 00:10:39,810 Husband, are you sure? Oh, yes. 300 00:10:39,844 --> 00:10:42,696 Did you know there's not even a word for "no" in Indian? 301 00:10:42,714 --> 00:10:43,931 [All gasp] Is that true? 302 00:10:43,965 --> 00:10:46,233 Yes. All right, keep it coming, people. 303 00:10:46,268 --> 00:10:47,151 Balle balle. 304 00:10:47,185 --> 00:10:48,485 Oh, please, a gorilla. 305 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,054 Can I have Justin bieber? 306 00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:51,488 You certainly can. 307 00:10:51,523 --> 00:10:52,940 Woman: Oh! 308 00:10:52,958 --> 00:10:56,243 An alien-and kid-free weekend. 309 00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:57,544 That's gonna be fun. 310 00:10:57,578 --> 00:10:58,946 - Exactly. - All right. 311 00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:00,814 What do kids know about having fun? 312 00:11:00,848 --> 00:11:01,982 That's right. 313 00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:05,069 Can you pass me the low-sodium rice cakes? 314 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,521 You know what? Screw it. 315 00:11:07,555 --> 00:11:09,440 Pass me the full-sodium rice cakes. 316 00:11:09,491 --> 00:11:11,842 Baby, you're getting so crazy right now. 317 00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:13,493 Full-so rice cakes coming right up. 318 00:11:13,511 --> 00:11:15,429 Come on. Who has more fun than us, right? 319 00:11:15,463 --> 00:11:17,798 Larry: When I say "we're more," you say "fun." 320 00:11:17,816 --> 00:11:19,166 We're more... All: Fun! 321 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,801 We're more... Fun! 322 00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:23,220 You can't write this stuff. 323 00:11:23,255 --> 00:11:24,371 [Laughter] 324 00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:26,557 Is that the kids? 325 00:11:26,591 --> 00:11:28,375 Burn, dollies! [Laughs] 326 00:11:28,393 --> 00:11:30,361 I can't believe it actually worked. 327 00:11:30,412 --> 00:11:32,630 Hey. What's going on? 328 00:11:32,664 --> 00:11:34,732 Oh, don't worry. It's perfectly safe. 329 00:11:34,766 --> 00:11:36,166 I've surrounded the volcano 330 00:11:36,201 --> 00:11:38,118 with mom's leftover gluten-free pancakes. 331 00:11:38,136 --> 00:11:41,105 Turns out, they can't be digested by stomachs or lava. 332 00:11:41,139 --> 00:11:42,539 [Laughter] 333 00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:45,141 Since when does Amber let you in her room? 334 00:11:45,976 --> 00:11:47,209 After you invited us to the picnic, 335 00:11:47,244 --> 00:11:48,511 we all thought it was super-weird, 336 00:11:48,545 --> 00:11:49,879 so we came here to talk about it. 337 00:11:49,913 --> 00:11:53,298 Then Abby dropped Sassy Samantha on my volcano. 338 00:11:53,316 --> 00:11:54,950 We're gonna have a million hits by lunch. 339 00:11:54,985 --> 00:11:57,386 Wow. This is a lot of fun. You guys need a hand? 340 00:11:57,421 --> 00:11:58,521 We promise we'll be fun. 341 00:11:58,555 --> 00:11:59,789 Whoo! [Chuckles] 342 00:12:02,125 --> 00:12:03,893 Really, you're gonna make us say it out loud? 343 00:12:03,927 --> 00:12:05,194 [Sighs] 344 00:12:05,228 --> 00:12:07,329 Mom, dad, I love you. 345 00:12:07,381 --> 00:12:11,117 You're two of the best, especially around the holidays, 346 00:12:11,151 --> 00:12:13,419 but you're just no fun. 347 00:12:13,453 --> 00:12:15,120 What do you mean? 348 00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:16,806 No, it's a good thing. You're parents. 349 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,208 And if you were fun, we'd be dead. 350 00:12:19,242 --> 00:12:21,193 All right, so, just give it to us straight. 351 00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:23,479 You're... not... fun. 352 00:12:23,530 --> 00:12:24,613 All right. 353 00:12:24,648 --> 00:12:27,333 All right. Think we got it. 354 00:12:27,767 --> 00:12:28,901 [Grunts] 355 00:12:28,935 --> 00:12:31,887 Perfect... Once you put the wings on. 356 00:12:31,921 --> 00:12:34,373 Mmm. Like it. 357 00:12:34,407 --> 00:12:36,708 Save room for dinner. 358 00:12:36,742 --> 00:12:40,512 [Woman giggles] I say! Oh, yes. 359 00:12:40,546 --> 00:12:44,683 Edgy but evocative. Beautiful! 360 00:12:45,217 --> 00:12:46,818 Can you help a brother out? 361 00:12:46,852 --> 00:12:48,486 You wanted a gorilla, you feed the gorilla. 362 00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:49,654 [Gorilla grunting] 363 00:12:49,688 --> 00:12:52,791 All right, ready, people? 364 00:12:52,825 --> 00:12:55,293 And blow me away, dick. 365 00:12:55,328 --> 00:12:57,479 Five, six, seven, eight. 366 00:12:57,530 --> 00:12:58,980 [Discordant music plays] 367 00:12:59,031 --> 00:13:00,665 Balle balle 368 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:03,101 balle balle 369 00:13:06,939 --> 00:13:08,706 Husband, I'm beginning to worry. 370 00:13:08,724 --> 00:13:11,275 It seems that some of our "say yes to everything" choices 371 00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:12,527 are beginnin to clash, 372 00:13:12,561 --> 00:13:14,812 and I'm starting to think that maybe we overdid it 373 00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,581 with the penguins. 374 00:13:16,599 --> 00:13:20,001 Do you think that maybe too much "balle balle" is a bad thing? 375 00:13:21,252 --> 00:13:24,655 No. Well... well, I mean, it can't, can it? 376 00:13:24,689 --> 00:13:25,772 Man: Bad gorilla! [Glass shatters] 377 00:13:25,807 --> 00:13:26,874 Woman: Namaste! 378 00:13:26,908 --> 00:13:27,975 [Gorilla roars] 379 00:13:28,009 --> 00:13:30,260 I hate to say it, but I'm beginning to think 380 00:13:30,278 --> 00:13:33,630 that we could benefit from a little bit of that Weaver "no." 381 00:13:33,665 --> 00:13:35,933 382 00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:37,801 Whoa, some spread, huh? 383 00:13:37,819 --> 00:13:40,270 Mm-mm-mmm, celery. 384 00:13:40,288 --> 00:13:43,073 [Discordant music continues] balle balle 385 00:13:43,091 --> 00:13:46,727 I think I just saw an alien on a unicycle, swinging a sword. 386 00:13:46,778 --> 00:13:48,729 Oh, yeah. I saw that, too. 387 00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:50,447 I bet their kids don't reject them. 388 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,082 Those guys know how to have fun. 389 00:13:52,116 --> 00:13:54,251 Yeah. Yeah, they do. 390 00:13:54,285 --> 00:13:56,003 [Indistinct shouting in distance] 391 00:13:56,037 --> 00:13:57,204 They do. 392 00:13:57,255 --> 00:13:59,823 Hey, could you, um, pass me a rice-ahoy, please? 393 00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:01,675 Oh, yeah. 394 00:14:01,709 --> 00:14:04,544 Now, these are good. 395 00:14:04,596 --> 00:14:08,048 My God, Marty. 396 00:14:08,099 --> 00:14:11,068 How did this happen? 397 00:14:11,102 --> 00:14:12,903 Look at this picnic! 398 00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:15,055 Rice cakes and tuna fish?! 399 00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,974 Yeah, this isn't a picnic. It's rations. 400 00:14:18,276 --> 00:14:19,293 Excuse me. 401 00:14:19,327 --> 00:14:21,144 Did someone order a medieval executioner 402 00:14:21,178 --> 00:14:22,930 for some kind of parade? 403 00:14:22,964 --> 00:14:25,999 Yeah, baby! 404 00:14:34,117 --> 00:14:35,484 [Discordant music plays] 405 00:14:35,518 --> 00:14:37,219 The wedding's in an hour, 406 00:14:37,253 --> 00:14:39,020 and our performance is worse than Dick's was 407 00:14:39,039 --> 00:14:40,939 in that Skechers commercial he got. 408 00:14:40,974 --> 00:14:42,107 When did that happen? 409 00:14:42,158 --> 00:14:44,209 That sounds like a really good episode. 410 00:14:44,244 --> 00:14:46,812 [Animal chitters] Oh, husband, I hate to say it, 411 00:14:46,846 --> 00:14:47,946 but I think it's time for our naysaying neighbors 412 00:14:47,997 --> 00:14:49,131 to say a little "nay." 413 00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:50,349 Say that five times fast. 414 00:14:50,383 --> 00:14:52,134 I could. Go on, then, hot shot. 415 00:14:52,168 --> 00:14:53,669 It's time for our naysaying neighbors to say a little "nay." 416 00:14:53,703 --> 00:14:55,254 It's time for our naysaying neighbors to... no, no. 417 00:14:55,288 --> 00:14:57,556 See, we're getting distracted. This is why we need them. 418 00:14:57,607 --> 00:14:59,374 We should go over there. 419 00:14:59,409 --> 00:15:01,593 No! Can't admit our failure. 420 00:15:01,628 --> 00:15:04,696 Those Weavers are reveling in their alien-free time 421 00:15:04,731 --> 00:15:06,131 'round about now. 422 00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:10,402 We're the last thing on their minds. 423 00:15:10,437 --> 00:15:13,455 Oh, my God, they're looking over at us. 424 00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:15,224 Quick, act like we're having fun. Okay? Fake laugh on three. 425 00:15:15,258 --> 00:15:18,260 Ready? One, two... [Both laughing] 426 00:15:18,294 --> 00:15:20,195 Oh, you're funny! [Laughing] 427 00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:22,798 You're so funny! [Sighing] Oh. 428 00:15:22,832 --> 00:15:24,299 - Oh! Larry: You see? 429 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,201 They're having a fake-laugh contest. 430 00:15:26,236 --> 00:15:29,421 - We need them. - No! 431 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,723 Husband, the gorilla has shown great restraint. 432 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,992 But any second now, he's going to have to use the bathroom. 433 00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:37,794 It's time. 434 00:15:37,845 --> 00:15:40,964 Fine. 435 00:15:40,998 --> 00:15:42,115 [Both laugh] 436 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:44,468 Oh, my God, oh, my God, they're coming over here. 437 00:15:44,519 --> 00:15:47,320 We're laughing, we're laughing, and... 438 00:15:47,355 --> 00:15:48,371 [Both laughing] 439 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:50,006 [Sighing] Oh, hey. 440 00:15:50,057 --> 00:15:51,792 Hi, guys. [Laughs] 441 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:54,544 Marty was just telling me the funniest personal anecdote. 442 00:15:54,595 --> 00:15:56,696 Come on. You are hilarious. [Laughs] 443 00:15:56,731 --> 00:15:58,465 Oh, what have you guys been doing? 444 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,817 [Sighs] Oh. Oh, you know. 445 00:16:00,852 --> 00:16:02,302 [Grunting] [Clears throat] 446 00:16:03,236 --> 00:16:04,620 Dearest, is there something 447 00:16:04,654 --> 00:16:07,023 that perhaps you want to share with Marty and Debbie Weaver? 448 00:16:07,057 --> 00:16:08,824 We can hear you two when you have sex. 449 00:16:08,859 --> 00:16:10,092 No, no, the other thing. 450 00:16:10,127 --> 00:16:12,261 Oh, yeah. 451 00:16:12,295 --> 00:16:14,030 Um, I was just so excited to get invited to something, 452 00:16:14,064 --> 00:16:16,465 I didn't want my parade to get rained on. 453 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:19,368 But now it seems that my lifelong passion, 454 00:16:19,403 --> 00:16:20,586 which I discovered today, 455 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,805 for Indian culture may have got the best of me. 456 00:16:22,839 --> 00:16:24,940 [Sighs] We need you to shut us down. 457 00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:26,275 Flip the "off" switch. 458 00:16:26,309 --> 00:16:27,760 Put the whole magnificent array 459 00:16:27,794 --> 00:16:29,812 through your trademarked fun-removal machine. 460 00:16:30,046 --> 00:16:32,298 [Gasps] We don't want to shut you down. 461 00:16:32,332 --> 00:16:33,716 Yeah, listen, guys. 462 00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:36,485 We had a really boring day without you today. 463 00:16:36,519 --> 00:16:38,370 Our kids don't think we're fun. 464 00:16:38,405 --> 00:16:40,389 - We want to be fun. - Like you. 465 00:16:40,423 --> 00:16:41,523 But our job is to be fun. 466 00:16:41,558 --> 00:16:43,478 It's your job to stop us from being too much fun. 467 00:16:44,293 --> 00:16:46,377 If you guys were fun, we'd be dead. 468 00:16:46,395 --> 00:16:48,012 Hmm. Been hearing a lot of that lately. 469 00:16:48,046 --> 00:16:50,115 And while there may be something to that, 470 00:16:50,149 --> 00:16:51,566 today we are not saying no. 471 00:16:51,617 --> 00:16:52,550 That's right. 472 00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:54,135 Ooh, are you sure? 473 00:16:54,186 --> 00:16:55,386 [Bagpipes play] 474 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:58,206 'Cause today of all days seems like a pretty good day 475 00:16:58,257 --> 00:16:59,323 to rain on our parade. 476 00:16:59,341 --> 00:17:01,776 Because we're literally about to start a parade. 477 00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:03,111 - That's great. - Lead the way! 478 00:17:03,162 --> 00:17:04,512 As much as we try to fight it, 479 00:17:04,547 --> 00:17:07,916 you two are kind of the music in our lives. 480 00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:09,400 Oh. [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 481 00:17:09,418 --> 00:17:11,436 And you are the beige in ours. 482 00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:13,238 Not today. 483 00:17:13,272 --> 00:17:14,289 No. 484 00:17:14,323 --> 00:17:16,307 - Today we're the rainbow. - That's right. 485 00:17:16,342 --> 00:17:19,828 [Sighs] Okay. Let's do this. 486 00:17:19,862 --> 00:17:21,162 Let's go! 487 00:17:21,197 --> 00:17:23,782 Okay! 488 00:17:23,816 --> 00:17:25,617 489 00:17:25,651 --> 00:17:28,920 [Rhythmic clapping] 490 00:17:28,954 --> 00:17:32,590 To the wedding we go, my friends 491 00:17:32,608 --> 00:17:36,778 it's time to leave our neighborhood 492 00:17:36,829 --> 00:17:40,381 my Indian from work will go berserk 493 00:17:40,416 --> 00:17:45,770 for our gift of Bollywood 494 00:17:47,573 --> 00:17:51,192 husband, you showed us the way 495 00:17:51,243 --> 00:17:55,246 when everything nearly went wrong 496 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,933 what did you think? His registry stinks 497 00:17:58,968 --> 00:18:02,237 plus, you can't re-gift a song 498 00:18:02,271 --> 00:18:03,855 Balle balle 499 00:18:04,373 --> 00:18:06,324 we're gonna own this wedding! 500 00:18:06,358 --> 00:18:07,541 Balle balle 501 00:18:07,592 --> 00:18:10,177 I wonder which groomsman I'm getting. 502 00:18:10,212 --> 00:18:11,512 Balle balle 503 00:18:11,563 --> 00:18:13,431 does this horse make my butt look big? 504 00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,483 Balle balle 505 00:18:15,534 --> 00:18:17,618 uh, who's signing for the monkeys in the back of my rig? 506 00:18:17,669 --> 00:18:19,120 Balle balle 507 00:18:19,171 --> 00:18:21,538 are we really doing this thing? 508 00:18:21,556 --> 00:18:22,706 Balle balle 509 00:18:22,724 --> 00:18:25,309 just put on your man-dress and sing. 510 00:18:25,343 --> 00:18:27,311 Balle balle, balle balle 511 00:18:27,346 --> 00:18:28,279 balle balle 512 00:18:28,313 --> 00:18:29,947 balle balle 513 00:18:29,981 --> 00:18:31,766 go big 514 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,933 or go home! 515 00:18:32,984 --> 00:18:35,202 Is that mom and dad on a horse? 516 00:18:35,237 --> 00:18:37,471 I want to to that picnic. 517 00:18:37,506 --> 00:18:41,091 This is the most fun we've had 518 00:18:41,109 --> 00:18:44,895 since we dropped out of the sky 519 00:18:44,930 --> 00:18:48,516 now I'm just wishing I'd ordered the chicken 520 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:51,936 'cause sometimes the fish can be dry 521 00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:54,403 balle balle 522 00:18:54,421 --> 00:18:56,489 what if the horse poops in the church? 523 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:57,857 Balle balle 524 00:18:57,891 --> 00:18:59,959 or what if the groom leaves the bride in the lurch? 525 00:18:59,994 --> 00:19:01,394 Balle balle 526 00:19:01,428 --> 00:19:04,013 what more could a bride and groom need? 527 00:19:04,048 --> 00:19:05,298 Balle balle 528 00:19:05,332 --> 00:19:07,483 oh, yep, look. The horse just peed. 529 00:19:07,518 --> 00:19:09,602 Balle balle, balle balle 530 00:19:09,653 --> 00:19:10,620 balle balle 531 00:19:10,654 --> 00:19:12,255 balle balle 532 00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:14,357 go big 533 00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:15,992 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 534 00:19:16,026 --> 00:19:17,844 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 535 00:19:17,878 --> 00:19:19,645 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 536 00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:21,681 Turn the light bulb? Pet the dog! 537 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,767 [Vocalizing] 538 00:19:29,355 --> 00:19:30,655 Balle balle 539 00:19:30,690 --> 00:19:32,958 uh, I think I got carried away with my henna tattoos. 540 00:19:32,992 --> 00:19:34,042 Balle balle 541 00:19:36,596 --> 00:19:37,879 balle balle this is crazy. 542 00:19:37,897 --> 00:19:40,499 Both: Our parents are actually fun! 543 00:19:40,533 --> 00:19:41,616 Balle balle 544 00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:44,169 wow, we impressed them! We totally won! 545 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:45,437 Balle balle 546 00:19:45,471 --> 00:19:48,807 we just hope the chicken's well-done 547 00:19:48,841 --> 00:19:50,742 go big 548 00:19:50,777 --> 00:19:52,577 you said no 549 00:19:52,612 --> 00:19:54,112 you said yes 550 00:19:54,163 --> 00:19:58,166 without you, we're a mess 551 00:19:58,201 --> 00:19:59,951 Little people! Henna tattoos! 552 00:20:00,002 --> 00:20:01,069 Fire-eaters! 553 00:20:01,087 --> 00:20:02,954 Mad gorillas! Thick mustaches! 554 00:20:03,005 --> 00:20:04,840 Magic backgrounds! Love triangles! 555 00:20:04,874 --> 00:20:06,625 Boring neighbors... Make life better! 556 00:20:06,676 --> 00:20:09,795 Go big 557 00:20:11,664 --> 00:20:14,349 [soft native-American music plays] 558 00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:16,184 Wrong Indians. Wrong Indians! 559 00:20:16,219 --> 00:20:17,252 Go home. 560 00:20:17,270 --> 00:20:19,137 Go home, quick. Go home. Back! Go back! 561 00:20:19,188 --> 00:20:21,256 Go back! 562 00:20:21,274 --> 00:20:23,758 Mazel tov! [Mid-tempo Indian music plays] 563 00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:32,966 Balle balle 564 00:20:32,984 --> 00:20:33,967 balle balle 565 00:20:33,985 --> 00:20:35,135 woman: You suck! 566 00:20:35,153 --> 00:20:36,987 Sorry. My bad. 567 00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:38,305 Man: It's gonna be on the bangles. 568 00:20:38,323 --> 00:20:40,974 Okay, so, we're coming in on a "balle," 569 00:20:40,992 --> 00:20:43,660 and then the bangles and then we go. 570 00:20:43,695 --> 00:20:44,912 [Beep] Play back! 571 00:20:44,946 --> 00:20:49,366 My Indian from work will go berserk 572 00:20:49,417 --> 00:20:54,204 for our gift of bollywood 573 00:20:56,007 --> 00:20:57,157 [laughter] 574 00:21:04,883 --> 00:21:06,666 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 575 00:21:06,684 --> 00:21:08,468 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 576 00:21:08,502 --> 00:21:10,270 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 577 00:21:10,305 --> 00:21:12,272 I'm sorry. What the hell are we doing? 578 00:21:12,307 --> 00:21:14,224 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 579 00:21:14,275 --> 00:21:16,059 Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 580 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,395 [Music stops] Turn the light bulb, pet the dog! 581 00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:20,646 [Cheering] 582 00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:25,246 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41695

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