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1
00:00:01,482 --> 00:00:04,782
Next into the shark
tank is Mindy Jelline
2
00:00:04,783 --> 00:00:07,483
with a new take on roller skates.
3
00:00:10,921 --> 00:00:12,222
Hello, sharks.
4
00:00:12,256 --> 00:00:13,940
How many times have
you asked yourself,
5
00:00:13,974 --> 00:00:16,459
"why can't there be
a motorized roller skate
6
00:00:16,493 --> 00:00:17,977
that's also solar-powered?"
7
00:00:18,012 --> 00:00:19,362
Never.
8
00:00:19,380 --> 00:00:21,181
Never have I or
anyone on the planet
9
00:00:21,232 --> 00:00:22,232
asked that question.
10
00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:23,816
You tell her, Barbara.
11
00:00:23,851 --> 00:00:26,069
So, just to be clear,
the woman with the skates
12
00:00:26,103 --> 00:00:27,804
is trying to convince
those sharks
13
00:00:27,838 --> 00:00:29,522
- to invest in her idea?
- Exactly.
14
00:00:29,557 --> 00:00:31,841
And we're the aliens,
and they're the humans. Ha!
15
00:00:31,876 --> 00:00:33,042
Here's a job for me.
16
00:00:33,077 --> 00:00:36,878
$1,400 a month to be a
two-bedroom, one-bath.
17
00:00:36,929 --> 00:00:38,847
No, no, no, no, no.
That's real estate.
18
00:00:38,882 --> 00:00:39,965
Oh. Sorry.
19
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:40,983
It's all right, Larry.
20
00:00:41,017 --> 00:00:42,534
You'll find the right job for you,
21
00:00:42,569 --> 00:00:44,286
just like Debbie
Weaver's going to find
22
00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:46,004
the right idea
for her small business.
23
00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:47,556
I'll tell you, I have a dream
24
00:00:47,574 --> 00:00:49,508
about having a business
that is so good
25
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:51,827
that I get to go on "Shark Tank"
and the sharks start fighting
26
00:00:51,845 --> 00:00:54,263
about who gets to invest in it.
Mm.
27
00:00:54,297 --> 00:00:56,231
Well, if wishes were fishes.
28
00:00:56,265 --> 00:01:00,235
But how do you suppose
I could be hired to be a shark?
29
00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:02,804
I'm wonderful
at judging people.
30
00:01:03,039 --> 00:01:04,873
I live to shoot down dreams,
31
00:01:04,891 --> 00:01:06,841
and I look great
in a fancy chair.
32
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:07,926
It's a perfect fit.
33
00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:11,128
Well, you also have to be
supe-successful, and you have to have
34
00:01:11,163 --> 00:01:13,948
- your own money to invest. - Oh,
she manages a Salsa Castle for a month,
35
00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,499
and suddenly
she thinks she's Oprah.
36
00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:18,736
At least I'm not the biggest
embarrassment on the block.
37
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,154
Isn't that right, Marty?
38
00:01:21,923 --> 00:01:23,290
Oh, no.
Put... damn it.
39
00:01:23,325 --> 00:01:24,358
I just died.
40
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,192
Raithra?
41
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,544
Can you hear me, Raithra?
42
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:29,513
No one kills lord varquad
and gets away with it.
43
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:30,047
You hear me?
44
00:01:30,098 --> 00:01:31,899
This guy Raithra...
45
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:32,869
He's named his headset.
46
00:01:32,870 --> 00:01:35,302
No, it's a real person, Larry, okay?
I'm playing online.
47
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,204
Oh, that's so much less sad.
48
00:01:37,238 --> 00:01:38,572
Raithra's been my mortal enemy
49
00:01:38,606 --> 00:01:40,107
since "Wizards of War II" came out.
50
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,325
You mark my words,
51
00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:43,610
I am going to beat him
at this game this weekend
52
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,095
if it is the last thing I do.
53
00:01:45,180 --> 00:01:48,048
Oh, this isa total waste of time.
54
00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:49,183
It's like they're
talking to you, Marty.
55
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:51,401
Yeah, it's like
we're on "Shark Tank."
56
00:01:51,436 --> 00:01:53,003
Oh, wouldn't that be fun?
57
00:01:53,037 --> 00:01:54,138
Us on "Shark Tank."
58
00:01:54,172 --> 00:01:55,105
Mm, sounds fun.
59
00:01:55,140 --> 00:01:57,040
Too bad that could never happen.
60
00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:03,140
sync and corrections by bellows
www.addic7ed.com
61
00:02:03,230 --> 00:02:07,033
We came from outer space
and settled in New Jersey
62
00:02:07,067 --> 00:02:10,870
we took names like Larry Bird
and Jackie Joyner-Kersee
63
00:02:10,904 --> 00:02:13,039
then the humans
moved next door
64
00:02:13,073 --> 00:02:15,207
started testing
all our limits
65
00:02:15,242 --> 00:02:17,360
so sit right down,
enjoy the show
66
00:02:17,394 --> 00:02:20,780
we'll be done in 30 minutes
67
00:02:21,631 --> 00:02:24,166
- I'm so excited for our movie date!
- Oh, me too.
68
00:02:24,217 --> 00:02:25,301
You guys are the only ones
69
00:02:25,335 --> 00:02:27,219
who appreciate Katherine
Heigl the way I do.
70
00:02:27,254 --> 00:02:28,637
She seems so nice.
71
00:02:28,672 --> 00:02:30,890
- I just want to be friends with her.
- Hey, Lord Varquad,
72
00:02:30,924 --> 00:02:33,225
we got to drop Max off
at his sleepover on the way.
73
00:02:33,260 --> 00:02:35,428
Your minivan's leaving in 10.
Wrap it up.
74
00:02:35,462 --> 00:02:38,564
Whoa, Abby, slow it down!
75
00:02:38,598 --> 00:02:39,665
I can't.
76
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,350
The preteen dance finals
are this weekend,
77
00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:43,519
and I'm way behind
on working on our routine.
78
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:46,305
What is a preteen dance final?
79
00:02:46,323 --> 00:02:47,406
No, no, wife.
80
00:02:47,441 --> 00:02:49,442
Don't ask that question
or we'll get derailed,
81
00:02:49,476 --> 00:02:51,477
and I do not want to
miss the trailers.
82
00:02:51,495 --> 00:02:52,745
The preteen dance finals is...
83
00:02:52,779 --> 00:02:54,864
It's when a group of girls
is forced to cover themselves
84
00:02:54,915 --> 00:02:57,116
in glitter and jump around
like trained monkeys.
85
00:02:57,150 --> 00:02:59,201
- Shut up, Amber!
- Dial it back, Disney channel.
86
00:02:59,252 --> 00:03:01,037
Girls!
You two are sisters.
87
00:03:01,088 --> 00:03:03,105
You are supposed to
support each other.
88
00:03:03,140 --> 00:03:05,458
I wish I had a sister
I could see every day.
89
00:03:05,492 --> 00:03:07,460
Debbie, I'll be
your everyday sister.
90
00:03:07,494 --> 00:03:09,995
Oh, Jackie!
91
00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:12,465
Okay, can the lesbian express
kick it into high gear?
92
00:03:12,499 --> 00:03:14,433
- We gots to go.
- Okay.
93
00:03:14,468 --> 00:03:15,852
The snacks are loaded.
94
00:03:15,903 --> 00:03:18,522
You sure you don't want to bring
your favorite food group?
95
00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:20,590
- Red.
- I wish.
96
00:03:20,641 --> 00:03:22,925
I tried to sneak a bottle
in to get me through
97
00:03:22,976 --> 00:03:25,261
that smurf sequel that
Max insisted on seeing.
98
00:03:25,312 --> 00:03:26,262
Got busted.
99
00:03:26,297 --> 00:03:28,814
They put me in mall jail
with two teenage potheads.
100
00:03:28,848 --> 00:03:30,016
I felt like a smurfin' idiot.
101
00:03:30,050 --> 00:03:30,884
No.
102
00:03:31,118 --> 00:03:33,587
It's just Abby's juice pouch for me.
103
00:03:34,421 --> 00:03:38,424
You know, what if you lined
your purse with this stuff
104
00:03:38,442 --> 00:03:41,093
and then you poured wine into it,
105
00:03:41,128 --> 00:03:43,529
made your purse a wine pouch?
106
00:03:43,563 --> 00:03:45,031
That's actually genius.
107
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:48,651
Also possibly an indication
of a larger drinking problem.
108
00:03:48,702 --> 00:03:50,569
Yeah, and then you put
a straw in the strap
109
00:03:50,603 --> 00:03:52,455
and you could have a beverage
all day long.
110
00:03:52,489 --> 00:03:53,289
Call it the bev bag.
111
00:03:53,323 --> 00:03:54,206
Debbie,
112
00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:55,741
that's your "Shark Tank" idea.
113
00:03:55,775 --> 00:03:58,544
No.
I'm just thinking out loud.
114
00:03:58,578 --> 00:03:59,996
Varquad!
115
00:04:00,047 --> 00:04:01,881
I'm driving!
Let's go!
116
00:04:01,915 --> 00:04:04,583
117
00:04:04,617 --> 00:04:06,585
Got to have it,
got to have it
118
00:04:06,619 --> 00:04:07,953
it's a wonderful thing
119
00:04:07,971 --> 00:04:09,388
because I dream it
and I think it
120
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,557
and it's all I can see
121
00:04:11,591 --> 00:04:14,176
this beautiful, beautiful no!
122
00:04:14,227 --> 00:04:17,196
New and shining
123
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:18,631
No, Tanner!
124
00:04:18,665 --> 00:04:19,998
You're not doing it right!
125
00:04:20,017 --> 00:04:21,801
Your dance moves
just aren't hot.
126
00:04:21,835 --> 00:04:22,902
We all quit!
127
00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:25,154
Even Tanner can see
this dance stinks,
128
00:04:25,188 --> 00:04:26,539
and she's legally blind.
129
00:04:26,573 --> 00:04:29,308
Guys, stay!
We can do this thing!
130
00:04:30,777 --> 00:04:34,280
This was the year
we were gonna win.
131
00:04:34,314 --> 00:04:36,966
Don't get involved.
132
00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:43,856
Don't...
get involved.
133
00:04:48,128 --> 00:04:49,779
Damn it.
134
00:04:53,066 --> 00:04:55,067
So this is what's on
the other side
135
00:04:55,085 --> 00:04:56,836
of the door that gets slammed.
136
00:04:56,870 --> 00:04:59,004
Abby, I have to tell you
a big secret
137
00:04:59,038 --> 00:05:00,656
that has been kept from you.
138
00:05:00,707 --> 00:05:02,675
I knew it.
I'm adopted, right?
139
00:05:02,709 --> 00:05:05,044
It's the only thing
that makes sense.
140
00:05:05,078 --> 00:05:07,096
I mean, how else do you explain
141
00:05:07,147 --> 00:05:09,248
that I'm adorable,
blond, and fun
142
00:05:09,282 --> 00:05:11,767
and the rest of the family
is just, well...
143
00:05:11,818 --> 00:05:13,152
No, you're not adopted.
144
00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:16,655
In fact, you and I have more
in common than you think.
145
00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:19,725
Behold my past.
146
00:05:19,759 --> 00:05:22,745
You did preteen dance?
147
00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:26,065
Holy sugar.
148
00:05:28,499 --> 00:05:31,952
I think I have figured out
this bev bag idea.
149
00:05:31,986 --> 00:05:33,104
Honey, don't distract me.
150
00:05:33,138 --> 00:05:34,688
I'm about to ambush Raithra.
151
00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:37,224
He thinks he's meeting me
to trade dexterity potions,
152
00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:38,742
but I'm gonna kill him instead.
153
00:05:38,776 --> 00:05:40,277
Okay, Marty, what is going on?
154
00:05:40,312 --> 00:05:41,412
Is this "Freaky Friday"?
155
00:05:41,446 --> 00:05:43,180
Is there a 10-year-old
nerd out there
156
00:05:43,214 --> 00:05:45,299
pretending to be a
40-year-old diaper salesman?
157
00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:46,917
Hello, Weavers!
158
00:05:46,935 --> 00:05:48,485
Ooh, hey, guys.
159
00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:51,338
I think I have actually
made the wine purse.
160
00:05:51,389 --> 00:05:52,406
Oh.
161
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,742
Okay, "Shark Tank," here I...
162
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:55,876
Oh.
Oh!
163
00:05:55,927 --> 00:05:57,695
Darn it!
It's official.
164
00:05:57,729 --> 00:06:00,481
I'm an idiot, and my
idea does not work.
165
00:06:00,515 --> 00:06:01,682
Yes, you are.
Yes, it does.
166
00:06:01,716 --> 00:06:02,816
It does.
167
00:06:02,867 --> 00:06:04,668
Presenting...
168
00:06:04,703 --> 00:06:06,670
- The...
- The bev bag.
169
00:06:07,505 --> 00:06:08,706
We pulled
an all-nighter.
170
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,507
I kept playing
"Shark Tank."
171
00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:12,175
I was judging things
for hours...
172
00:06:12,193 --> 00:06:14,661
The kids, the neighbors,
our furniture.
173
00:06:14,696 --> 00:06:15,996
Wow!
174
00:06:16,030 --> 00:06:17,848
Don't love Pinot, but wow!
175
00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:20,249
Your baby
is "Shark Tank" ready.
176
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,367
Oh, I don't know.
177
00:06:21,802 --> 00:06:24,103
Maybe there's some kind of
online application,
178
00:06:24,137 --> 00:06:26,739
hypothetically, at "Shark Tank"
backslash contestant
179
00:06:26,773 --> 00:06:28,824
forward slash application.
180
00:06:28,858 --> 00:06:30,576
I might have been on the
site a thousand times.
181
00:06:30,627 --> 00:06:31,761
Marty, need your laptop.
182
00:06:31,795 --> 00:06:33,479
But I'm about to put an end
to Raithra's reign.
183
00:06:33,513 --> 00:06:35,498
You're about to put an
end to your sex life
184
00:06:35,532 --> 00:06:37,466
if you do not stop
talking about Raithra.
185
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,434
Fine.
186
00:06:38,468 --> 00:06:40,436
Oh, hey, guys.
When did you get here?
187
00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:41,654
- Here you go.
- Okay.
188
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,340
Oh, the keys are all sweaty.
189
00:06:45,358 --> 00:06:47,326
Okay.
So, here we go.
190
00:06:47,377 --> 00:06:50,146
"Shark tank" airs on abc
on Friday nights
191
00:06:50,180 --> 00:06:53,115
after blah-blah-blah
blah-blah blah-blah.
192
00:06:53,149 --> 00:06:54,850
There's the application.
193
00:06:54,885 --> 00:06:57,169
"Due to overwhelming response,
'Shark Tank' will no longer
194
00:06:57,204 --> 00:06:58,620
accept applications
this season."
195
00:06:58,638 --> 00:07:01,540
"Please check back
again in six months."
196
00:07:01,575 --> 00:07:02,691
Sorry, honey.
197
00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:04,877
I just felt I was getting
so close to my dream.
198
00:07:05,311 --> 00:07:08,679
Indeed. Your failures must
feel redundant at some point.
199
00:07:08,714 --> 00:07:11,015
Hey, Larry,
that's very insensitive.
200
00:07:11,066 --> 00:07:13,217
So, you don't
need that anymore, right?
201
00:07:13,252 --> 00:07:14,986
- All right.
- Take it. All right.
202
00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:16,003
Tsk.
Oh!
203
00:07:16,037 --> 00:07:19,090
You were miss preteen
dance state champ?
204
00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:20,975
My world is upside down.
205
00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:24,078
And then I realized
the error of my ways.
206
00:07:24,096 --> 00:07:25,396
Quit now.
207
00:07:25,430 --> 00:07:26,430
You are a woman, Abby.
208
00:07:26,465 --> 00:07:28,049
You should be aiming
higher than a tutu.
209
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:29,784
Run countries, make medicine,
210
00:07:29,818 --> 00:07:32,036
add a level of civility
to political discourse.
211
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:33,254
I'm 7.
212
00:07:33,288 --> 00:07:35,239
And if you hated it so much,
213
00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:38,009
why'd you hang on
to all this stuff?
214
00:07:41,647 --> 00:07:42,930
Okay, fine.
215
00:07:42,965 --> 00:07:43,931
I'll help.
216
00:07:43,966 --> 00:07:45,183
But come Sunday,
217
00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:46,700
we go back to ignoring
each other.
218
00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:48,603
Meet me down in the garage
219
00:07:48,637 --> 00:07:51,706
first thing tomorrow
morning at noon...ish.
220
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,741
Marty, enough with the games!
221
00:07:54,759 --> 00:07:56,810
Start the grill.
It's almost dinner.
222
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,445
I'm about to slay
a level-8 elf king.
223
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,081
Oh, well, I'm about to hire
a level-9 divorce lawyer.
224
00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:03,000
Debbie, guess...
225
00:08:03,051 --> 00:08:04,918
Guess who's going
on "Shark Tank"?
226
00:08:04,953 --> 00:08:05,853
What?
227
00:08:06,287 --> 00:08:07,854
Husband,
you streamrolled me again.
228
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,489
I wanted to be
the one to tell her.
229
00:08:09,507 --> 00:08:10,757
What about
the six-month wait?
230
00:08:10,775 --> 00:08:12,526
- Yes, well, it's...
- It was so easy.
231
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:14,612
All we did was check
back onto the website.
232
00:08:14,613 --> 00:08:15,562
Oh, that was easy.
233
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:17,697
- And then I...
- And then I got the producer's name.
234
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:18,965
Uh-oh.
235
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,284
And then hacked
into the IRS mainframe
236
00:08:21,318 --> 00:08:22,318
to get his home number.
237
00:08:22,353 --> 00:08:23,603
Oh, God!
238
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:25,372
And then I explained
that you're about to be
239
00:08:25,406 --> 00:08:27,440
redeployed to Afghanistan,
240
00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:29,141
and I may or may not
have mentioned,
241
00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:30,526
in no particular order,
242
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,612
tornado, hurricane,
and dialysis.
243
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:35,814
Anyway... voil?...
You are on "shark"...
244
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:36,983
"Tank."
245
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,952
I did all of this for
my best friend's dream,
246
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:41,754
and you leave me "tank."
247
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:45,424
I'm gonna be on "Shark Tank"!
248
00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:48,261
Oh!
249
00:08:49,212 --> 00:08:50,796
Okay, okay.
That's... okay.
250
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:51,714
Oh, wow!
251
00:08:58,431 --> 00:09:02,116
Hello, sharks.
I am Debbie Weaver, and I'm...
252
00:09:05,036 --> 00:09:06,086
What am I doing?
253
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,387
Sorry.
Do-over.
254
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:10,173
- This shark's not biting. I'm out.
- Shut up, Larry.
255
00:09:10,608 --> 00:09:12,475
Why was I dragged
down here for this?
256
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,927
Debbie. Debbie.
257
00:09:13,978 --> 00:09:15,528
- Try explaining the purse.
- Okay, yeah.
258
00:09:15,563 --> 00:09:17,747
So, it's yellow...
259
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,717
And we did piping...
260
00:09:20,751 --> 00:09:24,938
With contrast stitching
here and here.
261
00:09:24,972 --> 00:09:26,389
Also, here.
262
00:09:26,423 --> 00:09:29,542
Then the edge,
we did stitching here.
263
00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:32,411
Oh, it's so boring!
264
00:09:32,445 --> 00:09:33,695
It's too much explanation.
265
00:09:33,713 --> 00:09:35,814
This shark needs
something meatier. I'm out.
266
00:09:35,865 --> 00:09:37,116
I'm in.
267
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:38,434
Tell me more about
the stitching, baby.
268
00:09:38,468 --> 00:09:41,286
Not... not too much more,
but just a little bit more.
269
00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:42,554
Go ahead.
270
00:09:42,589 --> 00:09:44,573
So...
271
00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:47,593
I know I'm bad.
272
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,595
You did all the work,
you get me on the show,
273
00:09:50,629 --> 00:09:53,014
- and I can't even do my stupid part.
- Debbie Weaver...
274
00:09:53,048 --> 00:09:55,216
- I did not build that purse...
- I built the purse.
275
00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:56,519
- Nor craft a wonderful lie...
- I told the lie.
276
00:09:56,553 --> 00:09:59,388
- Just so that you could blow it.
- She's not gonna blow it.
277
00:09:59,406 --> 00:10:01,524
Stop feeling pressure,
and do it like this...
278
00:10:02,642 --> 00:10:03,759
Hello, sharks.
279
00:10:03,793 --> 00:10:07,011
I'm housewife Debbie Weaver,
and I love wine,
280
00:10:07,046 --> 00:10:08,596
and I love movies,
281
00:10:08,614 --> 00:10:11,216
and now I can love them
both at the same time.
282
00:10:11,217 --> 00:10:13,401
Ready to have
your lives changed?
283
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:16,704
A (Bleep) talking dog
could do this.
284
00:10:16,722 --> 00:10:17,722
Wait. Say that again.
285
00:10:17,773 --> 00:10:19,607
A (Bleep) talking dog could do this.
286
00:10:20,025 --> 00:10:21,325
No, Larry, the sales pitch.
287
00:10:21,376 --> 00:10:23,543
- You're really good at this.
- He really is.
288
00:10:23,561 --> 00:10:25,446
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I'm gonna say this,
289
00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,431
but, Larry, you should
go on "Shark Tank" with me.
290
00:10:27,465 --> 00:10:28,966
And I can't believe
I'm going to say this,
291
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,751
but I think you're finally
right about something.
292
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:35,656
Okay, no solo dancer has won
a team dance competition
293
00:10:35,690 --> 00:10:36,757
since, well, me.
294
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:37,875
What did you do?
295
00:10:37,926 --> 00:10:39,460
And a slide...
296
00:10:39,494 --> 00:10:40,944
And a swish and a sway
297
00:10:40,996 --> 00:10:41,996
and a turn...
298
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:43,063
And pose!
299
00:10:43,698 --> 00:10:46,332
- Just teach me that!
- Absolutely not.
300
00:10:46,366 --> 00:10:47,834
You're gonna do a dance
that says something.
301
00:10:47,968 --> 00:10:49,018
Phones up.
What you got?
302
00:10:49,253 --> 00:10:51,271
How about "Call me maybe"?
303
00:10:51,305 --> 00:10:53,273
Perfect. A song that says,
"I'm just a girl
304
00:10:53,307 --> 00:10:55,291
waiting for another guy
to call me...Maybe."
305
00:10:55,342 --> 00:10:56,392
Taylor Swift?
306
00:10:56,443 --> 00:10:57,677
Justin Bieber?
307
00:10:57,711 --> 00:10:58,945
You're killing me.
308
00:10:58,979 --> 00:11:00,563
I'll solve your music issue later.
309
00:11:00,614 --> 00:11:02,348
Show me your best moves.
310
00:11:02,383 --> 00:11:04,083
You make me feel so special
311
00:11:04,117 --> 00:11:06,185
you make me feel like
meonsose, you do
312
00:11:06,219 --> 00:11:07,887
uh-huh, yeah
313
00:11:07,905 --> 00:11:09,622
every time you're near me
314
00:11:09,657 --> 00:11:10,723
yeah, uh-huh, oh
315
00:11:10,758 --> 00:11:12,976
Okay, so the opposite of that.
316
00:11:16,012 --> 00:11:17,095
You look great, babe.
317
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:19,649
- You sure you don't want me to come?
- Nah, just stay home with the kids.
318
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:20,833
I'm feeling enough pressure.
319
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:23,869
Hey, come on, listen.
I want you to enjoy this.
320
00:11:23,904 --> 00:11:26,639
This is your favorite show,
and you're gonna be on it, huh?
321
00:11:26,673 --> 00:11:27,873
How cool is that?
322
00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:29,425
Is this really stupid?
323
00:11:29,459 --> 00:11:32,778
Baby, the only stupid thing
you've ever done was marry me.
324
00:11:32,796 --> 00:11:35,281
Aw, handsome and sweet.
325
00:11:35,315 --> 00:11:37,400
Marty, do not waste your
whole day on that game.
326
00:11:37,451 --> 00:11:38,501
I sure won't, babe.
327
00:11:51,031 --> 00:11:53,549
Where are you, Raithra?
328
00:11:54,983 --> 00:11:56,087
Two minutes, everyone.
Two minutes.
329
00:11:56,422 --> 00:11:59,789
Debbie, do the introduction for
me again, exactly as I told you.
330
00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:03,206
Hello, sharks.
I am Debbie Weaver.
331
00:12:03,507 --> 00:12:04,874
I was hoping
that you would take
332
00:12:04,908 --> 00:12:06,308
a shark bite
out of my business.
333
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,426
Oh, no.
334
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,912
You get progressively
worse with every try.
335
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:12,414
You're like
M. Night Shyamalan.
336
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:13,932
Husband!
You're streamrolling Debbie
337
00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:15,617
and taking everything over
like you do with me.
338
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,219
I'm Debbie Weaver.
339
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:19,321
That sounds normal,
right, sharks?
340
00:12:19,355 --> 00:12:20,739
- I don't know what you're
talking about. - You.
341
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,524
Debbie Weaver, sharks.
Debbie... Debbie Weaver. This!
342
00:12:22,558 --> 00:12:24,943
I have half a mind to go out there and
make sure that you let Debbie speak.
343
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,828
Oh, my God.
That is so weird.
344
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,213
I have a horrible name!
345
00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:29,948
Oh, you want to go
on "Shark Tank," also?
346
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,199
Fine.
I don't care.
347
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,468
Look, the only reason I'm here
is so I can become a shark.
348
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:34,652
Who would name me that?
349
00:12:34,686 --> 00:12:36,087
"Debbie"... uhh!
"Debbie."
350
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:38,189
You wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for me.
351
00:12:38,223 --> 00:12:39,440
I made the purse,
352
00:12:39,491 --> 00:12:42,560
and I came up with the
dialysis/tornado backstory.
353
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:43,577
Oh, my God!
354
00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:47,064
I am going on national
television with these people
355
00:12:47,482 --> 00:12:49,232
to sell a wine purse.
356
00:12:49,266 --> 00:12:50,967
What the hell was I thinking?
357
00:12:50,985 --> 00:12:52,135
Okay, guys, you're on.
358
00:12:52,153 --> 00:12:53,420
I'm Debbie Weaver!
359
00:12:53,454 --> 00:12:55,872
- See? Now you've made her nervous.
- All right. Come on.
360
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:57,257
I'm Debbie Weaver!
361
00:12:57,292 --> 00:13:00,043
- For the ninth time...
- My name is Debbie Weaver.
362
00:13:00,144 --> 00:13:01,160
I don't know these people.
363
00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:02,561
I didn't know you wanted
to go on the show.
364
00:13:02,612 --> 00:13:03,982
- That is because you're always talking.
- My name is Debbie Weaver. - No.
365
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,399
If you had told that to me,
I might have answered.
366
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,851
My name is Debbie Weaver.
My name is Debbie weav.
367
00:13:06,852 --> 00:13:07,184
You just assumed that I...
368
00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:08,035
My name...
369
00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:13,689
You know,
I know this can be confusing,
370
00:13:13,707 --> 00:13:14,891
but when that door opens,
371
00:13:14,925 --> 00:13:16,693
you're supposed
to walk through it.
372
00:13:16,727 --> 00:13:18,012
And walk through it we shall.
373
00:13:19,497 --> 00:13:21,415
Hello, sharks.
374
00:13:21,449 --> 00:13:23,334
I'm Webbie Deaver.
375
00:13:23,368 --> 00:13:24,451
No, wait.
376
00:13:24,502 --> 00:13:26,270
I'm out.
377
00:13:34,789 --> 00:13:35,639
Uh, sharks...
378
00:13:35,992 --> 00:13:37,960
Yes, Webbie, say something.
379
00:13:37,994 --> 00:13:39,729
Oh, yeah,
I was nervous back there.
380
00:13:39,763 --> 00:13:41,564
My name is actually Webbie.
Oh, God.
381
00:13:41,898 --> 00:13:42,765
Enough.
382
00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:44,867
I have a product today
383
00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:47,436
that will revolutionize all things...
384
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:49,772
A purse meets wine.
385
00:13:49,806 --> 00:13:52,241
Behold the wurse.
386
00:13:53,175 --> 00:13:55,343
- What? - When did
we change the name to the wurse?
387
00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,745
No, it's not the wurse.
It's the bev bag.
388
00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:58,980
This is going great, guys.
389
00:13:59,014 --> 00:14:00,315
I ask you, sharks,
390
00:14:00,349 --> 00:14:02,917
how many times have you
tried to sneak a drink
391
00:14:02,952 --> 00:14:05,219
into a movie theater
only to get caught?
392
00:14:05,254 --> 00:14:06,521
Well, with the wurse,
393
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:09,157
you can put the wine
in the lining
394
00:14:09,191 --> 00:14:11,192
and no one will be
any the wiser.
395
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:12,794
All right, sharks.
396
00:14:12,828 --> 00:14:14,562
Commence fighting over me.
397
00:14:14,596 --> 00:14:16,264
The wurse, huh?
398
00:14:16,298 --> 00:14:18,733
- And it helps sneak drinks into
a movie theater? - Exactly.
399
00:14:18,767 --> 00:14:20,735
You do know I own a chain
of movie theaters, right?
400
00:14:20,769 --> 00:14:22,303
Ooh.
I beg your pardon?
401
00:14:22,338 --> 00:14:25,306
And you do realize that
the number-one profit center
402
00:14:26,341 --> 00:14:28,976
in a movie theater
is the concessions, right?
403
00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:31,912
Ooh. So now you're asking
me to invest in a company
404
00:14:31,946 --> 00:14:34,348
that takes money away
from my other companies?
405
00:14:34,382 --> 00:14:36,516
Th... that would be absurd.
406
00:14:37,351 --> 00:14:39,719
Well, answer him, Webbie.
407
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,487
He's talking to you.
408
00:14:41,555 --> 00:14:43,689
I mean,
you come into our tank
409
00:14:43,724 --> 00:14:47,093
with something that's
just not thought through.
410
00:14:47,127 --> 00:14:49,128
I don't know about you
guys, but I'm out.
411
00:14:49,196 --> 00:14:50,429
What the hell is going on?
412
00:14:50,464 --> 00:14:52,765
Oh.
413
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:55,601
No. No, come on.
Don't kill me.
414
00:14:55,636 --> 00:14:57,336
No, don't kill me.
No. No! No!
415
00:14:57,371 --> 00:14:58,371
Damn you, Raithra!
416
00:14:58,405 --> 00:14:59,438
Die!
417
00:14:59,473 --> 00:15:01,774
Whoo!
418
00:15:09,382 --> 00:15:10,516
Raithra?
419
00:15:10,550 --> 00:15:13,318
Lord Varquad?
420
00:15:14,653 --> 00:15:17,289
So, my number-one enemy
421
00:15:17,323 --> 00:15:19,191
was right next door
this whole time, huh?
422
00:15:19,225 --> 00:15:20,593
It's like something
out of "Homeland"
423
00:15:21,327 --> 00:15:23,728
but without all the
Claire Danes histrionics.
424
00:15:24,263 --> 00:15:25,797
And you had no idea it was me
425
00:15:25,831 --> 00:15:27,499
you were killing again
and again and again?
426
00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:29,868
No, in fact, it was so easy,
I thought I was killing
427
00:15:29,902 --> 00:15:31,536
some sort of
learning-disabled toddler.
428
00:15:31,570 --> 00:15:34,773
I guess I could kiss my dream
of clearing this game goodbye.
429
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:38,175
Unless we stopped fighting
each other and worked as a team
430
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:40,411
and see if we can clear
the entire game.
431
00:15:40,445 --> 00:15:43,581
Well, that would be
sort of cheating, Dick.
432
00:15:43,615 --> 00:15:46,617
But "sort of cheating"
is my middle name.
433
00:15:46,652 --> 00:15:48,052
Marty "sort of cheating"
Weaver?
434
00:15:48,486 --> 00:15:50,220
Suddenly,
my middle name ain't so bad.
435
00:15:50,255 --> 00:15:51,288
Why?
What's your middle name?
436
00:15:51,322 --> 00:15:52,356
Beef.
437
00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:56,459
You're really good.
438
00:15:56,494 --> 00:15:58,962
I'm never gonna
remember all the steps.
439
00:15:58,996 --> 00:15:59,830
What am I doing?!
440
00:15:59,964 --> 00:16:01,298
Abby, I'd like to make you
feel better,
441
00:16:01,332 --> 00:16:02,799
but, honestly,
you're one girl trying to win
442
00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:04,167
a team-dance competition
443
00:16:04,202 --> 00:16:06,403
with a feminist assault
on the princess myth
444
00:16:06,437 --> 00:16:07,738
we made up a few hours ago.
445
00:16:07,772 --> 00:16:08,905
It could go either way.
446
00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:10,741
Come on.
You're up.
447
00:16:10,775 --> 00:16:13,210
- Okay.
All right. - You know what? Stop.
448
00:16:13,278 --> 00:16:14,578
Just stop.
449
00:16:14,646 --> 00:16:16,813
I couldn't have
said it better. "Stop."
450
00:16:16,847 --> 00:16:18,581
We hate your idea,
and we're all out.
451
00:16:18,616 --> 00:16:21,084
Okay, Larry, knock it off.
Not about you.
452
00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:22,385
This is my dream.
453
00:16:22,419 --> 00:16:24,988
It's really amazing that you
still have a dream, soldier,
454
00:16:25,022 --> 00:16:26,823
after everything
you've been through.
455
00:16:26,857 --> 00:16:29,759
A hurricane, tornado,
dialysis machine.
456
00:16:29,793 --> 00:16:31,261
- Simply amazing.
Jackie:- Indeed.
457
00:16:31,295 --> 00:16:33,396
So, sharks, won't you
open your hearts
458
00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:35,698
and buy this resilient
soldier's product?
459
00:16:36,133 --> 00:16:38,467
I'm not a soldier.
460
00:16:38,502 --> 00:16:42,471
And I have not survived
a myriad of diseases
461
00:16:42,506 --> 00:16:44,540
and natural disasters.
462
00:16:44,574 --> 00:16:45,975
Uh, Jackie's my best friend,
463
00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:48,644
and she was just trying
to help me make this happen.
464
00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:50,379
Sharks, can we agree
465
00:16:50,413 --> 00:16:53,048
that this is the weirdest pitch
we've ever seen?
466
00:16:53,082 --> 00:16:54,883
- Ridiculous.
- Robert, this is dumber than
467
00:16:54,917 --> 00:16:56,518
- the solar-powered roller skates.
- Oh, yeah.
468
00:16:56,552 --> 00:16:57,386
It's worse.
469
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,354
Look, I, um...
470
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:01,357
I'm just a regular
stay-at-home mom,
471
00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:04,059
and I took myself out of the
workforce 15 years ago,
472
00:17:04,094 --> 00:17:06,562
and today was gonna be
my way back in.
473
00:17:06,596 --> 00:17:09,531
But then I brought
a crazy man with me,
474
00:17:09,566 --> 00:17:13,902
because sometimes I don't have
the confidence to do it alone.
475
00:17:15,537 --> 00:17:17,104
- I'm gonna make you an offer.
- Are you out of your mind?
476
00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:18,105
Are you crazy?
Not at all.
477
00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:19,707
I'm going to make you an offer.
478
00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:20,774
It's a terrible idea,
479
00:17:20,809 --> 00:17:23,210
and you did a horrific job
presenting here today.
480
00:17:23,245 --> 00:17:24,345
What I see in you is a mom
481
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,080
trying to return
to the workforce,
482
00:17:26,115 --> 00:17:27,382
and I respect you for that.
483
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:30,051
So I'm going to give you
a terrific offer.
484
00:17:30,085 --> 00:17:32,020
I'm gonna give you my advice.
485
00:17:32,054 --> 00:17:33,221
Okay.
486
00:17:33,255 --> 00:17:34,889
I think you ought to go
to business school,
487
00:17:34,924 --> 00:17:35,990
learn some skills,
488
00:17:36,025 --> 00:17:38,259
and get a little confidence
under your belt.
489
00:17:38,293 --> 00:17:40,828
When you graduate from school, I
want to meet with you personally.
490
00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:43,030
I'm gonna give you my number,
and together,
491
00:17:43,065 --> 00:17:44,899
we're gonna figure out
the right business for you.
492
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,567
- Really?!
- Yes, really.
493
00:17:46,601 --> 00:17:48,769
- I'm gonna make you so rich!
- Don't worry about that.
494
00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:49,937
I'm already rich.
495
00:17:51,606 --> 00:17:53,808
496
00:17:53,842 --> 00:17:56,877
Tale as old as time
497
00:17:58,780 --> 00:18:01,148
True as it can be
498
00:18:03,885 --> 00:18:06,854
barely even friends
499
00:18:06,888 --> 00:18:10,791
than somebody bendsunexpectedly
500
00:18:12,928 --> 00:18:15,529
both a little scared
501
00:18:15,564 --> 00:18:18,199
neither one prepared
502
00:18:18,233 --> 00:18:20,167
beauty and the beast
503
00:18:58,903 --> 00:18:59,903
Let me see.
504
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:02,140
I am so proud of you, baby.
505
00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,742
Wait a minute.
Wasn't I supposed to take you to this?
506
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,144
Amber took care of it.
507
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,445
Amber, hey.
508
00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:09,080
If your mother asks,
I drove you.
509
00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,414
We're back!
510
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:11,016
There she is...
511
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,951
my business-school superstar.
Come here.
512
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:13,985
I know.
Right?
513
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,421
Oh, Barbara was so sweet to me.
Tell me everything.
514
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:19,090
Yes, Larry, why don't you tell
them everything, as usual?
515
00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:20,057
Fine.
516
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:21,993
I'm an unemployed
waste of space,
517
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,629
and you're the only
reason we got that far.
518
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,831
I should have
listened to you more.
519
00:19:27,165 --> 00:19:29,600
- Then why do you always cut me off?!
- Because...
520
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:30,801
I'm sorry.
521
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,038
With all my bluster,
the sharks didn't want me.
522
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,439
Oh, but someone will.
523
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:36,774
You'll find your job,
524
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:39,043
and until then,
I'll make the money.
525
00:19:39,077 --> 00:19:40,377
I've got your back.
526
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,646
My Oprah.
527
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:43,981
Oh, my Gayle.
528
00:19:44,015 --> 00:19:45,149
Oh, sweet.
529
00:19:45,183 --> 00:19:47,918
I'm gonna go burn something.
530
00:19:51,722 --> 00:19:53,156
So, it's Sunday night.
531
00:19:53,191 --> 00:19:54,191
Yep.
532
00:19:54,225 --> 00:19:55,826
And we go back
to ignoring each other.
533
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,195
And you're sure we can't,
you know, do other stuff?
534
00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:00,563
Here's the thing.
535
00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:03,433
You're 7. I'm 16.
Those are big years.
536
00:20:03,467 --> 00:20:05,868
But before you know it,
you're gonna be in college,
537
00:20:05,903 --> 00:20:08,338
and I'm gonna be
in San Francisco
538
00:20:08,372 --> 00:20:11,040
running a small
independent bookstore,
539
00:20:11,075 --> 00:20:14,042
in a serious but not
claustrophobic relationship.
540
00:20:14,177 --> 00:20:15,644
Then you're gonna come visit me,
541
00:20:15,678 --> 00:20:17,413
I'm gonna get you drunk
for the first time,
542
00:20:17,447 --> 00:20:19,115
and then I'm gonna get
really mad at you
543
00:20:19,149 --> 00:20:19,982
when you throw up
544
00:20:20,017 --> 00:20:22,518
all over my brand-new
restoration hardware couch,
545
00:20:22,552 --> 00:20:24,787
which my gay best friend
will help me clean.
546
00:20:25,521 --> 00:20:28,356
That sounds so totally awesome!
547
00:20:28,391 --> 00:20:30,526
I'm so lucky to have you as a sister.
548
00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:32,529
Abby, you got to take
it down a notch, okay?
549
00:20:33,263 --> 00:20:34,897
Just be.
550
00:20:34,932 --> 00:20:37,266
Right.
Sorry.
551
00:20:40,537 --> 00:20:42,638
You're a cool kid, Abby Weaver.
552
00:20:42,673 --> 00:20:44,273
When all is said and done,
553
00:20:44,308 --> 00:20:47,944
you might just wind up being
the coolest Weaver of us all.
554
00:20:47,978 --> 00:20:49,579
Cool?
555
00:20:49,613 --> 00:20:51,714
Cool.
Whatever.
556
00:20:53,216 --> 00:20:55,217
Catch you in a decade.
557
00:21:05,834 --> 00:21:07,201
I'm just gonna show
you how it works.
558
00:21:07,436 --> 00:21:10,203
This is the straw,
so it just pops right out.
559
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:11,871
Could I get a chair here, please?
560
00:21:11,906 --> 00:21:13,173
Someone?
Shark chair?
561
00:21:13,207 --> 00:21:16,109
And then you just
suck it up like that.
562
00:21:16,143 --> 00:21:18,211
Chihuahua! Caramba!
This is a terrible idea.
563
00:21:18,245 --> 00:21:19,714
What an idiotic dream.
564
00:21:19,747 --> 00:21:21,247
You look like you're
on a breathing machine.
565
00:21:21,248 --> 00:21:22,482
Oh, Barbara.
566
00:21:22,516 --> 00:21:24,617
That's an ugly-looking bag.
567
00:21:24,652 --> 00:21:26,085
- How many have you sold?
- Zero.
568
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,253
Oh.
569
00:21:27,288 --> 00:21:28,388
Well, that's well-made.
570
00:21:28,422 --> 00:21:29,889
- Oh, my God. This sucks.
- How does it work?
571
00:21:29,924 --> 00:21:31,224
We could work on that part.
572
00:21:31,258 --> 00:21:33,193
You know what? I'm coming
back in so I can go out again.
573
00:21:33,227 --> 00:21:34,828
And you ought to get
the hell out of here.
574
00:21:34,862 --> 00:21:36,029
- Larry!
- Me? What...
575
00:21:36,063 --> 00:21:37,197
Come on.
576
00:21:37,298 --> 00:21:40,399
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577
00:21:40,449 --> 00:21:44,999
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