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1
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,315
Isn't this great?
2
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,672
Look at the Duke.
3
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,757
One of his finest films:
4
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,633
I Shoot ThemBecause They're Injuns.
5
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:36,318
As a woman viewer...
6
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,999
...what's your opinion, pumpkin?
7
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,873
Daddy, I would rather be reading.
Does that tell you anything?
8
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,391
It tells me you're a girl.
9
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,672
Which means your opinion
means less to me than the dog's.
10
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,433
Bud, what do you think?
11
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,870
I'm thinking this Duke guy
walks a lot like you...
12
00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,355
...when you have to go
to the bathroom.
13
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,268
I copied that walk.
14
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,436
I figured the reason
he does it like that...
15
00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,598
...is because no one in these movies
ever goes to the bathroom.
16
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,951
That's what the folks in show biz
called subtext.
17
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,312
I wonder what kind of toilet paper
they used to use in the Old West.
18
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,877
Thank you for getting him
started on this.
19
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,555
Oh, my God. It's the Duke.
20
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,275
Now he's gonna start wondering
when they went to the bathroom.
21
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,070
And who invented the toilet bowl.
22
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,874
It'd make a better movie
than that damn Columbus.
23
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,032
After all, America was already here.
24
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,708
It takes some thought
to think up a toilet bowl.
25
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,958
Does this Duke guy
still make movies?
26
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,878
No.
27
00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:41,877
Duke is dead.
28
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,757
And what about that guy, Daddy?
Does he still make movies?
29
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:50,516
Blackie Rabinowitz,
king of the bad guys.
30
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,631
Alas, he's dead too.
31
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,513
And what about the white guy
playing the Indian?
32
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,071
He's dead.
33
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,033
What about the white guy
playing the black guy?
34
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,108
Dead.
35
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,594
- And him?
- Dead.
36
00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:09,438
- And him?
- Dead.
37
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,392
They're all dead.
38
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,753
Everyone in every movie I like
is dead.
39
00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,237
Only me and Charlton Heston
are still alive.
40
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:23,037
Wait, look, it's Fuzzy.
41
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:27,028
See him, with his hat turned sideways?
That's how you know he's a sidekick.
42
00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,148
Look at this, Fuzzy's riding his mule,
Dadgummit, backwards.
43
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,548
Fuzzy McGee,
the greatest of the sidekicks.
44
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,355
Now, look.
He's gonna chaw, then spit.
45
00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:44,638
He's hitting that mule on the foot.
46
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,116
Now watch, now watch.
He's gonna go, "Whoa."
47
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,475
Fuzzy McGee, he's still alive.
48
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,238
Matter of fact, he's still working.
49
00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,476
He just made a commercial
just the other day.
50
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,877
You know, that one
for adult diapers, Soak 'Ems.
51
00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,512
You remember. "For when you
just can't quite say 'whoa' anymore."
52
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,829
Oh, Fuzzy McGee. He'll outlive us all.
53
00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,350
We interrupt Western Geezer Theatre
for a special announcement.
54
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,273
Chicago's beloved Fuzzy McGee...
55
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:22,278
...better known to our younger viewersas Sheriff Soak 'Ems...
56
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,708
...died today.
57
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:27,799
Fuzzy is survived by his trusty mule,Dadgummit.
58
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,958
I can't believe this.
59
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,230
Everybody's dead.
60
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,514
Makes you think about things, Peg.
61
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,551
Life and death...
62
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:43,718
...where we're headed,
what's it all mean?
63
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:49,519
Why, when a woman's shoe size
is nine, her sock size is 10 to 13.
64
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:53,234
It just doesn't make any sense.
65
00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,199
I think that's the one
that bothers me the most.
66
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,628
Don't worry, honey.
67
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,070
You know, men have
confusing sizes too.
68
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:04,910
I mean, look how big
your thumbs are and yet...
69
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:11,868
Fuzzy McGee.
70
00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,832
Fuzzy was married three times.
71
00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,430
He had 10 children,
and 22 grandchildren.
72
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,757
Not to mention millions of fans
all around the world.
73
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:23,872
Never was a man so beloved.
74
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:25,877
Well, I guess we're all here.
75
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,233
Anyhow, he died.
76
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,431
So will you. So will I.
77
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,870
I'm depressed, I'm going home.
78
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,516
Well, boy, I guess...
79
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,551
...you and me
are the only one who cares.
80
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,155
Well, I guess it is up to I...
81
00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,158
...to speak at Fuzzy's last roundup.
82
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:14,876
Fuzzy McGee.
83
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,271
There was a man...
84
00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:20,040
...and a great sidekick.
85
00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:23,280
Where are today's sidekicks?
86
00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,596
Oh, the potential
of a young Rick Moranis...
87
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,995
...or a Steve Guttenberg...
88
00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,111
...or Martin Short.
89
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,516
Oh, the goofy, limping,
word-mispronouncing sidekicks...
90
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,278
...they could be.
91
00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,835
But instead they wanna be stars.
92
00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:40,758
Good luck.
93
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:46,069
Short couldn't even hold his own
in Three Amigos.
94
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,992
But Fuzzy knew his place.
95
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,191
He was a sidekick.
96
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:55,915
He was a wuzzy-wuzzy sidekick,
wasn't he?
97
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,190
He really was.
98
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,233
Well, Fuzzman, this one's for you.
99
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,239
Excuse me, sir.
100
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,112
My grandfather died.
101
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,470
He loved "O Sole Mio."
102
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,954
Two dollars, you sing to him?
103
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,509
We're talking about cash, right?
104
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,430
Peg, good news.
105
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,712
They've raised minimum wage
for the bald?
106
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,073
You don't deserve it, but I'll tell you.
I've been singing...
107
00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,157
...and my throat is parched.
108
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,631
Does a body good.
109
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,038
Wait a sec, got some milk
stuck in my teeth, Peg.
110
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,553
Peg...
111
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:20,716
...I need to talk to you.
112
00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:22,956
After watching that movie,
it made me think...
113
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,958
...about where I wanna spend
my final resting place.
114
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,152
So I went right out today
and I bought a plot. I couldn't wait.
115
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,191
Because I've decided that I wanna...
116
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:34,995
...spend eternity next to someone
that I really, really love.
117
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,553
Oh, Al.
118
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,991
So I decided to be buried
next to old Fuzzy.
119
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,552
Oh, honey.
120
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,436
And the mule.
121
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,635
Oh, sweetheart.
122
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,436
You know, honey,
they really don't need their own plot.
123
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,312
Sweet of you to think
of them, though.
124
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,279
Hell are you talking about?
I'm gonna be buried...
125
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,916
...next to Fuzzy McGee
and Dadgummit the mule.
126
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,674
Well, what about me?
127
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:22,317
Come on, Al.
Let me be dead with you.
128
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,072
You know, we never do anything
together anymore.
129
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,236
If this is the way
you repay my love...
130
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:31,955
...when you die,
I'm gonna bury you in a dress...
131
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,230
...with white hose
that make your legs look thick.
132
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:38,948
- Hi.
- Hi.
133
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,549
We were just wondering,
do you know where Seven is?
134
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,638
- No.
- Well, let me put your mind at rest.
135
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,035
He's been living with us
for the last three days.
136
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,198
- He walked in and wouldn't leave.
- He's improving slowly.
137
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,119
He still can't read, write,
or use a knife and fork...
138
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:58,155
...but he has learned how to chant "Kill
the Bundys" with the other neighbors.
139
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,316
If you don't mind, we were thinking
of renaming him Henry, after my father.
140
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,751
- Sure, that's all right with me.
- What do we care, do what you want.
141
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,349
What we want is for you
to come and get him.
142
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:09,834
He's irritating.
143
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:13,953
He calls us Dad and Little Dad.
144
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:17,712
Marcie, we don't have time
for this now.
145
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,717
We are in the middle of an argument.
146
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,911
Al doesn't wanna be buried
next to me.
147
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,588
Isn't that the most ridiculous thing
you've ever heard?
148
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,552
Well, frankly, yes.
149
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,957
I think when two people
take the marriage vows, it's sacred.
150
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,833
That's why I'm going to be buried
next to my husband Steve.
151
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,110
My name is Jefferson.
152
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,828
And I'm your husband now.
And, oh... And by the way...
153
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:44,192
...we are not in bed, so there's
no excuse for calling me Steve.
154
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,836
He is your ex-husband.
155
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,678
Oh, don't take it personally.
156
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,190
Every woman screams out "Steve"
during sex. Don't they, Peggy?
157
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,631
Not me, it's too long a name.
158
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,990
Oh, now, don't pout.
159
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,873
You've got all this now,
you're already in heaven.
160
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,196
Oh, God.
161
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,831
Why worry about later.
162
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,235
Oh, so I'm just the one sharing
a bed with you...
163
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,556
...in these, your declining years.
164
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,910
I want you to take care of me
when I'm dead.
165
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,190
I want my hair done
by my own hairdresser...
166
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,038
...not the guy down at the mortuary.
167
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,913
You know,
the guy who does Al's hair.
168
00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:29,834
I'm warning you, Marcie.
169
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:34,397
I'm not gonna soap up and dance
for you until this is provided for.
170
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:37,275
You have to tonight,
my mother's coming.
171
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:43,159
Marcie, I made that videotape for her
so she wouldn't have to come over.
172
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:46,992
Oh, I'm telling you,
I think I feel a headache coming on.
173
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,915
Oh, all right.
You know I can't say no to you.
174
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:55,031
- Oh, Steve.
- Steve?
175
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,280
All right, we are going home...
176
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:05,476
...and I am gonna rock the Steve
out of you, baby.
177
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,028
It always works.
178
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,712
Why don't you ever rock me, Al?
179
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,709
Because I'd rather stone you.
180
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,558
Peg, I've been thinking,
I've got one pair of clean underwear...
181
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,797
...from that three-pack you bought me
in the spring of '79.
182
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,550
I'd like to be buried in that.
183
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,079
Fine.
184
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:42,070
Impress Fuzzy with the underwear that
I bought you for our 13th anniversary.
185
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,397
You know, you male corpses
are all alike.
186
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,153
Never a thought for the woman...
187
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:50,511
...who spent her life
getting you into that grave.
188
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,836
You have no idea
what it's like out there.
189
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,951
A dead woman alone.
190
00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,912
No man is interested
in a dead woman.
191
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,554
And if he is,
he wants a dead young woman.
192
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,352
Boy, my life is over.
193
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,314
I'm gonna be a dead woman
with children. Oh, my God.
194
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,400
Who will want to marry
a dead woman with children?
195
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,950
Maybe Mickey Rooney.
196
00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:16,310
Yeah, by the time I'm dead,
I'll be lucky if it's Andy Rooney.
197
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:20,959
I'm not kidding, Al.
I wanna be buried with you.
198
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,472
- I feel a whine coming on.
- Oh, God, no.
199
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,672
- Yep, yep, I feel it coming.
- Hey, no.
200
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:34,716
Al!
201
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,438
Al!
202
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,995
I don't wanna be alone.
203
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,714
You don't love me.
204
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,229
Oh, all right, Peg!
205
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:53,158
You've already ruined my whole life,
you may as well ruin my death.
206
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,155
Oh, Al.
207
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,354
"Oh, Al," indeed.
208
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,558
- Here's a fine casket.
- Very nice.
209
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,718
And this one is top of the line.
210
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,717
Solid bronze...
211
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,117
...with a comfy velvet lining.
212
00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,071
Oh, my God, there's a dead man in it.
213
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,919
Harry, he looks like
somebody dug him up.
214
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,233
How long was I out?
215
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,350
Gee, they must have smelled
you father's socks.
216
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,195
Mom, if I may be so bold...
217
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,755
...set aside the funds
you were gonna spend today...
218
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,873
...and trust us to handle the details
when the dark day comes.
219
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,033
I thought you said we were
gonna throw them on the grill...
220
00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,674
...and flush their ashes
down the toilet.
221
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,192
Have you changed your mind?
222
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,755
What, are you getting soft?
223
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,278
You two scamps
certainly have a fine sense of humor.
224
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,232
Well, it's... Yeah.
225
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,114
Honey, we have to buy
and we have to buy today.
226
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,593
So you like this one?
227
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,075
- Yes, I do.
- Well, I don't.
228
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,793
I'd like to see something else.
229
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,592
We need a little more room up top.
230
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,074
You know, for my hair.
231
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,872
Oh, yes, well...
232
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,834
...with a little customizing,
we can give you a bubble top.
233
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,589
Designed to bring big hair
safely into eternity.
234
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,312
Gee, Al, I have a bubble top.
235
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,751
And you will as long as
they make strong bras.
236
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:43,954
- You love the guys.
- I do.
237
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:49,193
I must say, you two are planning
your funeral a bit early.
238
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,790
You must have
some terminal disease.
239
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,828
Yes...
240
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,678
...marriage.
241
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:03,837
Yes, we get quite a few of those.
242
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,837
Most people feel that marriage...
243
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,952
...eases the transition to death.
244
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,753
If you'll excuse me,
I see some customers.
245
00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:15,633
- So we are gonna burn them?
- Yes, that's what I was trying...
246
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,354
Say, you kids dying?
247
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,154
No, virgins are just pale.
248
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,757
Thus, the healthy hue on her face.
249
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,356
So you're brother and sister.
250
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,233
Well, it's never too early
to plan you funeral.
251
00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:35,318
With the world being what it is today,
let's face it...
252
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,193
...you kids don't stand a chance.
253
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,312
I can't say that I'm not pleased
about it, though.
254
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,754
A lot of young people
are planning their funeral nowadays.
255
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,916
It's the hep thing to do.
256
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,712
In the funeral business, we say:
257
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,717
"Can you dig it?"
258
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,594
Sir, you are one cool ghoul.
259
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:59,396
Yes, indeedy-oso.
Let's talk coffin, shall we?
260
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:03,639
This one just screams you,
young fellow.
261
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,356
This is our
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coffin.
262
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,791
I understand Michael Jackson
got one for Macaulay.
263
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,391
It's a surprise.
264
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,152
Oh, my brother doesn't need a coffin.
You can just put him into a Trix box.
265
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,517
She only says that
because I do it like a bunny.
266
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,229
Kids, don't you think that Daddy should
wear his wedding ring when he's dead?
267
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,873
I married till death do us part.
268
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,469
Which means when I'm dead,
I'm free to date.
269
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:37,428
This is it?
270
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,956
This is your final resting place?
271
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,310
Well, there's no spot for me.
272
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,080
That's why it's called
a resting place.
273
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,869
Well, it sucks.
274
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,631
I wanna be buried above ground.
275
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,638
I don't like all those insects
bothering me.
276
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,159
They always bite me.
277
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,794
It's because I'm so sweet.
278
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,392
Maybe it's because of the 200 bonbons
she puts away every week.
279
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,799
I want another spot.
280
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,197
Fine, Peg, get yourself another spot.
But I have my spot.
281
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,436
I'm going to be buried
next to the Fuzzball.
282
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,870
You'd better let me know
if you don't want it.
283
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,356
Because Fuzzy McGee
was considered a genius in France.
284
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,758
I believe they called him
Le Grand Fuzz.
285
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:26,032
When news of his passing hits Paris,
this place will be swarming...
286
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,231
...with a lot ruder people
than you two.
287
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,635
I was smart to buy when I did.
288
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,156
Would you tuck that big hair
back into your nose.
289
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:40,119
Now do you see why
I ordered a bubble top for him too?
290
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:41,668
You know, by the way...
291
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:45,350
...I have heard that your nose hairs
continue to grow after death.
292
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,755
So could you bury him face up?
293
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,315
That way, the nose hairs can
sort of break through...
294
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,353
...and it'll be like
we have our own tree.
295
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,154
- And it'll be free.
- Yeah.
296
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,909
Anyway, I wanna be buried
next to Al.
297
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,473
This is what we're gonna do:
298
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,070
We're just gonna move Fuzzy over.
299
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,713
Who's got that one next to him?
300
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,150
That's reserved
for his beloved mule.
301
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,519
Well, certainly we can
move the mule.
302
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,153
We'll just chop him up...
303
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,715
...and bury him
in some crummy cans of dog food.
304
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,555
That way, everybody's a winner.
305
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,919
Then, we dig up the Fuzzster,
put him into the mule hole...
306
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:26,951
...and I will go here.
307
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,630
Then Al and I
can be together forever.
308
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,718
Hasn't it already been forever?
309
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,593
Honey, just pretend we're in bed,
and let me take care of everything.
310
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:42,476
How much for everything?
311
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:45,831
All right, let's see.
312
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:50,039
That's bubble tops,
digging up dead man...
313
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,708
...ignoring deceased's last wish...
314
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,993
...grinding up mule into pulp.
315
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,111
Tax plus tip.
316
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,356
Let's say $27,000.
317
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,439
Well, we might have to
cut out a few frills.
318
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,598
How much is it if it's just
for the two plots and you toss us in.
319
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,715
That depends. Are we
doing the digging, or are you?
320
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,594
Well, I figured the wife would.
321
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,630
Let's cut to the bottom
of the grave, sir.
322
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,115
What do you have to spend?
323
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,830
A hundred dollars.
324
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:29,917
You looky-loos.
325
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,317
It's people like you
who take the joy out of death.
326
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:37,471
Oh, say, you folks look real sick.
327
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:41,275
And your daughter looks like she'd be
mighty grateful to save a buck...
328
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,311
...if you know what I mean.
329
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,239
Peg, it's a shame.
330
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,193
We don't have enough money
to bury you.
331
00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:50,959
But I'm gonna be dead alone.
332
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,549
Oh, man, I can't wait.
333
00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,314
Well, what about me?
334
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,398
Well, Peg, I don't care about you,
you work it out for yourself.
335
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,955
Bury yourself wherever you want,
I'm not moving.
336
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:14,348
Well, Fuzzy, just me and you now.
337
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:17,393
Thank God, she'd have
driven you crazy.
338
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,757
And, by the way,
in case you overheard...
339
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:23,111
...I never would have let her move
Dadgummit, I love that damn mule.
340
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,790
Hey, by the way,
we might be getting a tree.
341
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:30,158
Oh, man, the time we're gonna have.
342
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,874
I'll tell you about
all my high school football stories.
343
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,470
You can tell me where they used to go
to the bathroom in the Old West.
344
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,593
My guess is it's by the horse,
so you could blame him.
345
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,995
Okay, Al.
We took care of everything.
346
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,670
- And it's only gonna cost you $100.
- It doesn't involve moving me?
347
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,950
Nope, you stay where you are,
next to Fuzzy.
348
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,071
Fine, then I don't care.
349
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,033
What are you doing, Peg?
350
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,435
Well, I'm just showing you
where I'm gonna be.
351
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,232
We're gonna share a grave.
352
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,670
They're gonna stack us.
353
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,154
Isn't that great?
354
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,999
And whoever dies first
is on the bottom.
355
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,031
Well, that'll be me!
356
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:12,629
I know!
27496
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