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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:05,254 --> 00:00:09,357
Hey, Brenda! Kenny's coming
for a visit with his new baby.
3
00:00:09,392 --> 00:00:11,093
We're gonna have to change
the sheets in the guest room,
4
00:00:11,127 --> 00:00:13,795
and make sure there is
no medication lying around.
5
00:00:13,830 --> 00:00:14,797
Got it, got it.
6
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:16,365
- Gonna be fun.
- Hello?
7
00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:18,467
Good time with that baby.
Good to see my baby...
8
00:00:18,501 --> 00:00:21,604
This is a league game. You can't just
leave early, or you'll be disqualified.
9
00:00:21,638 --> 00:00:25,609
So you'd rather win this in a weasel
way than settle this on the boards?
10
00:00:25,643 --> 00:00:28,546
Speaking of the boards, let me just...
11
00:00:28,580 --> 00:00:30,415
Yep, I'm still ahead.
12
00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:32,951
So why don't you decide, Tammy.
13
00:00:32,985 --> 00:00:35,720
You want me to win by points
or disqualification?
14
00:00:35,754 --> 00:00:40,824
Well, whatever. I've got more important shit
in my life than arguing with your dumb ass.
15
00:00:40,859 --> 00:00:45,428
My famous baseball-player son is
coming for a visit with his new baby.
16
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:50,499
And would this be the son that got busted doing
steroids and had that prostitution scandal?
17
00:00:50,533 --> 00:00:53,669
You must be very proud.
18
00:00:54,838 --> 00:00:56,705
Oh!
19
00:00:56,740 --> 00:00:59,509
I guess you win by disqualification.
You're the champ.
20
00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,711
Soak it up, tomato face.
21
00:01:13,927 --> 00:01:24,982
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
22
00:01:32,709 --> 00:01:34,075
I got the baby.
23
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:39,648
I got the baby.
24
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:43,018
Well goddamn. Somebody's doing
pretty good for themselves, I see.
25
00:01:43,053 --> 00:01:45,855
All right. Let's go
over some ground rules.
26
00:01:47,258 --> 00:01:49,326
First off, go along
with everything I say.
27
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,197
You can't just walk right in there and ask
her to raise your baby right off the bat.
28
00:01:53,232 --> 00:01:55,700
Let me moisten her up
a little bit first.
29
00:01:58,471 --> 00:02:01,373
I feel like I have blood in
my wiener when I get excited.
30
00:02:04,076 --> 00:02:05,910
Maria!
31
00:02:05,945 --> 00:02:07,312
Steven...
32
00:02:07,346 --> 00:02:08,346
Where are you?
33
00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:10,148
Your
marriage is over.
34
00:02:10,182 --> 00:02:12,350
Now sack the fuck up, or you're
gonna walk back to Myrtle.
35
00:02:14,553 --> 00:02:16,554
No loose canons on this mission.
36
00:02:16,589 --> 00:02:17,656
Knock, knock.
37
00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:18,757
Who's there?
38
00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:19,692
We are.
39
00:02:19,726 --> 00:02:21,760
Goddamn right!
Let's go.
40
00:02:34,540 --> 00:02:36,574
Oh, my goodness.
41
00:02:36,609 --> 00:02:38,209
My boy.
42
00:02:38,244 --> 00:02:39,244
How you doin', mama?
43
00:02:39,278 --> 00:02:40,778
My baby.
So good to see you.
44
00:02:42,047 --> 00:02:45,583
And my grandbaby, you sweet
thing. He's getting so big.
45
00:02:45,618 --> 00:02:48,086
And so handsome, just like his daddy.
46
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,120
Oh, yes he is.
47
00:02:49,154 --> 00:02:51,356
Oh, you sweet thing, you sweet thing.
48
00:02:53,459 --> 00:02:56,260
Okay, now. Who are
these people?
49
00:02:56,295 --> 00:03:01,665
Uh, well, Mom, uh...the man made of
skin here is my nanny-slash-assistant,
50
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:06,170
and this disabled mouth-breather
minority is my personal chef.
51
00:03:06,205 --> 00:03:09,474
Well, big celeb, excuse me,
got your own nanny and a chef.
52
00:03:09,476 --> 00:03:12,544
Yeah, you know this is just a sampling
of the Hollywood dream life I live.
53
00:03:12,578 --> 00:03:16,547
I have a whole staff and slew of people at
my estate back at the beach, yeah.
54
00:03:16,582 --> 00:03:19,684
I have a personal hygienist,
uh, obsti-nutrionist person...
55
00:03:20,886 --> 00:03:22,253
a magician-ist...
56
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:24,956
Well, you brought the whole
damned entourage, my famous son?
57
00:03:24,990 --> 00:03:26,057
That's right.
58
00:03:26,091 --> 00:03:27,258
Well,
come on in.
59
00:03:29,027 --> 00:03:32,563
Actually, there is one other
member of my elite entourage.
60
00:03:32,598 --> 00:03:33,931
A surprise member.
61
00:03:37,469 --> 00:03:39,470
Did somebody say
"long-lost husband"?
62
00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:44,174
Well, fuck me.
63
00:03:44,209 --> 00:03:46,443
Tammy! Tammy, Tammy,
Tammy, Tammy, Tammy!
64
00:03:46,478 --> 00:03:49,446
By God, you look as
rgeous as I remember.
65
00:03:49,481 --> 00:03:53,049
You know, 27 years is a damn long
trip to the store for cigarettes.
66
00:03:53,084 --> 00:03:57,220
Well, I lied to you
about that. I'm sorry, honey.
67
00:03:57,254 --> 00:03:59,389
I wasn't really going to
the store for cigarettes.
68
00:03:59,423 --> 00:04:01,024
Yeah? No shit.
69
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:03,626
Oh.
70
00:04:04,928 --> 00:04:06,462
You perfidious prick.
71
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,130
Oh!
72
00:04:08,198 --> 00:04:10,298
Ooh!
73
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,434
Oh, fuck my ass!
74
00:04:12,468 --> 00:04:13,835
Oh!
75
00:04:15,804 --> 00:04:17,605
I must say, that felt good.
76
00:04:17,639 --> 00:04:20,007
I think it's going away. No!
There it goes to my stomach.
77
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,477
I want you to come on, get
your asses in the house here,
78
00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:23,945
before the neighbors start talking.
79
00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:25,279
Okay.
80
00:04:25,313 --> 00:04:27,715
She got you good.
That was right in your balls. Crazy.
81
00:04:27,749 --> 00:04:29,382
Whoo!
82
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:32,419
I don't know how you can trust
that bald one with the baby.
83
00:04:32,453 --> 00:04:34,788
Kenny, you remember
my assistant, Brenda?
84
00:04:34,822 --> 00:04:37,625
Oh, what the fuck's up,
Brenda? I remember you.
85
00:04:37,659 --> 00:04:38,893
You still smoke those Chihuahua dicks?
86
00:04:38,927 --> 00:04:40,261
That's right.
87
00:04:40,295 --> 00:04:42,196
Mom, you've been working with
Brenda for a long time, now.
88
00:04:42,231 --> 00:04:44,999
Yes I have, and Brenda,
89
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:48,003
that smiley shithead with the hat
is my ex-husband, Eddie Powers.
90
00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,471
You've heard the stories.
91
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:52,207
Oh my God,
look at this. You...
92
00:04:52,242 --> 00:04:54,443
You still got our special silverware!
93
00:04:54,477 --> 00:04:57,612
That was the wedding gift that
my mom and daddy gave us.
94
00:04:57,647 --> 00:05:00,816
It's been in our family for years.
It dates back to the 1800s.
95
00:05:00,850 --> 00:05:03,051
We were so in love back then.
96
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:04,886
Oh, kiss my ass.
97
00:05:06,289 --> 00:05:08,356
Kenny, I want to show
you my trophy room.
98
00:05:08,390 --> 00:05:10,191
Trophy room?
99
00:05:10,225 --> 00:05:13,594
I've got about four new trophies
since you last saw it, Son.
100
00:05:13,628 --> 00:05:15,563
Yeah, um, I'm gonna go check
out some trophies, dudes.
101
00:05:15,597 --> 00:05:17,265
Uh-huh.
- Let's check 'em out.
102
00:05:17,299 --> 00:05:18,532
You made this stuff?
103
00:05:18,567 --> 00:05:19,867
Just the clothes.
104
00:05:19,901 --> 00:05:23,638
Bodies hand painted
by little Mexicans.
105
00:05:23,673 --> 00:05:26,675
My wife was Mexican
before she left me.
106
00:05:26,709 --> 00:05:28,577
I'm sorry.
107
00:05:28,611 --> 00:05:30,813
I came inside another woman.
108
00:05:32,649 --> 00:05:33,816
So she left me.
109
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,520
God damn it, Kenny.
110
00:05:38,554 --> 00:05:40,288
No heads-up or anything?
111
00:05:40,322 --> 00:05:43,624
Five minutes with that asshole
and I have a migraine already.
112
00:05:43,659 --> 00:05:45,059
What are you holding?
113
00:05:45,093 --> 00:05:46,226
Let's see.
114
00:05:47,228 --> 00:05:49,562
I've got Percocet, and uh...
115
00:05:50,631 --> 00:05:52,298
and I've got muscle relaxers.
116
00:05:52,332 --> 00:05:54,466
Oh, shit. That's
pretty sweet.
117
00:05:54,501 --> 00:05:56,201
Oh, sick, suppositories.
118
00:05:56,235 --> 00:05:58,437
You know, you mix the Percocet with
the Xanie, it's almost like heroin.
119
00:05:58,471 --> 00:06:00,272
Is it really?
Mm-hmm. That's what I heard.
120
00:06:00,306 --> 00:06:02,207
Why in the hell didn't
you tell me that before?
121
00:06:02,241 --> 00:06:04,509
Yeah, I'm just rockin' this Adderall here.
Keeps me focused.
122
00:06:04,544 --> 00:06:07,446
Even if it does give me a dry-ass
mouth and occasional constipation.
123
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,181
I like those. I'd ke
to have some of those.
124
00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:12,251
Yep. Shit gets real when you're on the
verge of a comeback. There you go.
125
00:06:12,285 --> 00:06:15,154
Oh, look at this. My God,
those are IRs and 20s, too.
126
00:06:15,188 --> 00:06:16,154
Mm-hmm. Can I have...
127
00:06:16,189 --> 00:06:18,056
Mmm. Not bad. What
is it you want?
128
00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:20,792
Well, I'd love to have just
a few of the muscle relaxers,
129
00:06:20,826 --> 00:06:21,893
and a little maybe of
those other ones.
130
00:06:21,927 --> 00:06:22,994
Oh, I do feel that, it's good.
131
00:06:23,028 --> 00:06:24,062
Yeah, that's cool, huh?
132
00:06:24,096 --> 00:06:25,630
Damn, I like that.
133
00:06:25,664 --> 00:06:28,332
Yeah, that's what all the young
kids are fuckin' with these days.
134
00:06:28,367 --> 00:06:29,700
Loosens you up.
135
00:06:29,735 --> 00:06:31,302
Whoa! Knock, knock.
136
00:06:31,336 --> 00:06:32,370
Oh, Lord.
137
00:06:32,404 --> 00:06:33,471
How we all doin'?
138
00:06:33,505 --> 00:06:35,539
Doin' cool, just trying
to talk to mom...
139
00:06:35,574 --> 00:06:38,710
Oh my God, look at
that bulletin board!
140
00:06:38,744 --> 00:06:42,814
Let me ask you something.
Who is that strapping young athlete right there?
141
00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:44,249
It's me.
142
00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:45,617
We done good, didn't we?
143
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,187
What's this "we" shit, white man?
144
00:06:49,590 --> 00:06:53,827
Call me crazy, but I missed
that sharp tongue of yours.
145
00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:55,428
Not to mention them long legs.
146
00:06:55,463 --> 00:06:57,064
Okay, I don't want to see
any of this shit, yeah.
147
00:06:57,098 --> 00:06:58,832
Don't you breathe on me like that.
148
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,935
Oh, speaking of missing, I am
missing my daily lane time.
149
00:07:01,969 --> 00:07:03,736
Oh, I got a hell of an idea.
150
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:08,541
Why don't we go along and
support you, as a family?
151
00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:37,373
All right, all right, all right!
152
00:07:37,407 --> 00:07:38,574
Whoo!
153
00:07:39,809 --> 00:07:41,443
Now that's what I call a strike.
154
00:07:41,477 --> 00:07:45,480
Oh, well that's what everybody
calls a strike, asshole.
155
00:07:45,514 --> 00:07:50,117
Still that same old firecracker
that I used to get boners for.
156
00:07:50,151 --> 00:07:52,720
I hope you're not having trouble
getting boners these days, Eddie.
157
00:07:52,754 --> 00:07:57,424
Oh, hell no. I still achieve
powerful, long-lasting boners.
158
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:58,859
Oh, my God.
159
00:07:58,894 --> 00:08:01,295
You really knew how to
light my fire back then.
160
00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:03,031
You think you could still do that?
161
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,899
I think I could stick
a match up your ass.
162
00:08:06,669 --> 00:08:08,370
Have a look at me, woman.
163
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:09,804
I'm still in pretty good shape.
164
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:13,209
Your little butt and I are
not on speaking terms.
165
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,577
Well, you better start
chatting it up, then.
166
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:20,148
Look at that con man, out there
prancing his ass in Mom's face.
167
00:08:20,183 --> 00:08:22,050
Got her laughing and shit.
168
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,619
He's got a special
touch with the ladies.
169
00:08:24,653 --> 00:08:27,722
All the men in our family
have the special touch.
170
00:08:27,756 --> 00:08:29,257
Don't put yourself in
that category, Casper.
171
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:32,227
You ain't got no special touches.
Don't act like you're gettin' pussy.
172
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:35,529
Me? I fuck like TT Boy.
You don't know what I do.
173
00:08:36,798 --> 00:08:38,432
You fuck like TT Boy, the porn star?
174
00:08:38,466 --> 00:08:39,834
Yes.
175
00:08:39,868 --> 00:08:42,370
What'd you do with
the last chick you fucked?
176
00:08:42,404 --> 00:08:43,538
Fingers,
177
00:08:43,572 --> 00:08:45,440
ass,
178
00:08:45,474 --> 00:08:47,109
pubic play.
179
00:08:47,143 --> 00:08:49,244
Pubic play? What
exactly is that?
180
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:53,348
That's when you put your pubic hairs
together, and you go like this.
181
00:08:53,383 --> 00:08:56,251
You just mash your
pubic hairs together?
182
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,220
You could start a fuckin'
rug fire doing that.
183
00:08:58,254 --> 00:09:02,591
Looks like your dad's gonna get
balls deep in your mom tonight.
184
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,026
That means there's hope
for me and Maria.
185
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,394
Hey, well guess what.
Fuck hope, all right?
186
00:09:05,429 --> 00:09:06,929
I need you to focus on
my goals right now.
187
00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,631
What the hell are you doing with Toby?
188
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:10,233
You're hoggin' him, man.
Go give him to my mom!
189
00:09:10,268 --> 00:09:12,469
Right now, Pop's getting
all the face time.
190
00:09:12,503 --> 00:09:14,371
Well, maybe I should just
fucking kill myself!
191
00:09:14,406 --> 00:09:17,641
Well maybe you should go grow some
fucking eyebrows! Get outta here, man.
192
00:09:17,675 --> 00:09:20,210
Act like a little bitch.
193
00:09:20,244 --> 00:09:24,614
Combo, 1 ball off the side part
to the 3, and to the other part.
194
00:09:28,018 --> 00:09:29,485
Nice.
195
00:09:29,519 --> 00:09:31,320
You had the wrong ball.
196
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:34,023
Ow.
197
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,460
Fuckin'...I dare you.
198
00:09:43,902 --> 00:09:47,405
Get the fuck off of me,
you're all fucking sweaty. Get off!
199
00:09:47,439 --> 00:09:48,773
Get off!
200
00:09:48,808 --> 00:09:50,776
Get off!
201
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:51,977
Go!
202
00:09:53,046 --> 00:09:54,547
Is it,
is it a buffalo?
203
00:09:54,581 --> 00:09:56,082
Video games.
204
00:09:56,116 --> 00:09:57,583
No. How the fuck is that video games?
Just look what I'm drawing.
205
00:09:57,617 --> 00:10:00,253
Uh, uh, is it a goat in a gate?
206
00:10:00,287 --> 00:10:01,320
Video games.
207
00:10:02,622 --> 00:10:03,856
Video games,
video games!
208
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:05,124
It is not fucking video
games! Jesus Christ!
209
00:10:05,158 --> 00:10:06,425
Is that a
three-legged dog?
210
00:10:06,459 --> 00:10:07,659
No it's not a
three-legged dog.
211
00:10:07,693 --> 00:10:09,060
Sweetheart, you have to
show him the pictures.
212
00:10:09,095 --> 00:10:10,929
All right, all right,
it's an angel in a car...
213
00:10:10,963 --> 00:10:12,063
No.
214
00:10:12,097 --> 00:10:13,231
It's an angel...
215
00:10:13,265 --> 00:10:14,899
It's a girl with her head smashed in!
216
00:10:14,933 --> 00:10:16,601
You're not even on our team!
He's not on our team.
217
00:10:16,635 --> 00:10:18,836
Time's up!
Time's up! Girls win!
218
00:10:18,871 --> 00:10:20,505
Girls win. Yay!
219
00:10:20,539 --> 00:10:23,041
It's a fucking poncho.
Oh!
220
00:10:23,076 --> 00:10:24,643
I can see that.
221
00:10:24,677 --> 00:10:26,412
Are you
kidding me?
222
00:10:26,446 --> 00:10:28,214
Good thing you can throw a baseball,
'cause you can't draw for shit.
223
00:10:28,248 --> 00:10:30,216
You draw like a retard.
224
00:10:31,752 --> 00:10:33,519
I'm not bad at
drawing. Stop it.
225
00:10:33,554 --> 00:10:38,223
Well, okay now, that's, that's all about all
I can take for excitement in one night.
226
00:10:38,258 --> 00:10:40,126
That's plenty for me.
I'm gonna go to bed.
227
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,529
Hold on, hold on a minute,
Tammy. Hold on, hold on.
228
00:10:44,864 --> 00:10:46,765
I, uh...
229
00:10:46,799 --> 00:10:48,333
I got, I have something I wanna say,
230
00:10:48,368 --> 00:10:51,068
and I want everybody
here to bear witness.
231
00:10:51,103 --> 00:10:52,904
I, uh...
232
00:10:52,938 --> 00:10:54,105
It's hard.
233
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:57,474
I've been gone a long time.
234
00:10:58,443 --> 00:11:00,211
And I didn't know exactly
235
00:11:01,713 --> 00:11:04,148
what it would be like
when I came back,
236
00:11:07,319 --> 00:11:10,054
and you all have made
me feel so at home,
237
00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:13,524
in spite of the fact that we've
been apart all these years.
238
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:18,429
And I...I want to
assure you,
239
00:11:18,463 --> 00:11:20,464
all of you,
240
00:11:20,498 --> 00:11:24,034
that I'm gonna do everything I can,
241
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:26,603
to make things right.
242
00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:35,912
And I'm, I'm sorry it took me
so long to come to my senses.
243
00:11:38,249 --> 00:11:42,052
I sincerely hope that
you'll accept my apology.
244
00:11:42,086 --> 00:11:46,189
Okay. That's the end of the speech.
I'm gonna go to bed, too,
245
00:11:46,224 --> 00:11:51,294
and I'm gonna go out and sleep out there in the RV.
I don't wanna impose.
246
00:11:51,329 --> 00:11:54,197
And I want this
relationship to go slow.
247
00:11:54,232 --> 00:11:58,401
No need to sleep outside.
You can sleep in there, on the couch.
248
00:11:59,770 --> 00:12:02,305
Really? I don't mind
sleeping outside.
249
00:12:02,339 --> 00:12:06,509
No, outside is for the dogs.
Inside is for family.
250
00:12:08,446 --> 00:12:10,314
Okay.
251
00:12:10,348 --> 00:12:12,850
And the garage is for cars.
252
00:12:31,138 --> 00:12:32,539
Gettin' ready for bed?
253
00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:38,979
I'm just chillin'. Just
looking at some old stuff.
254
00:12:39,013 --> 00:12:42,415
Kenny, shame on you. What did I say
about you smokin' weed around me?
255
00:12:42,450 --> 00:12:43,616
That I have to share.
256
00:12:43,650 --> 00:12:45,284
Yes, that's right.
257
00:12:45,318 --> 00:12:46,618
Well thank you, Son.
258
00:12:46,653 --> 00:12:47,686
You're welcome.
259
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:48,920
I don't suppose...
260
00:12:51,257 --> 00:12:54,626
any boy wants
to party with his mama.
261
00:12:57,696 --> 00:12:58,863
What's eatin' at you, Son?
262
00:12:58,897 --> 00:13:00,531
It's just tough in Myrtle.
263
00:13:00,566 --> 00:13:04,736
I'm stressed out about April,
Toby, fuckin' Russian people...
264
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:07,272
Oh, Doschenka-something?
I read all about him.
265
00:13:07,306 --> 00:13:11,142
Flavor of the month.
We'll see where he is in fifteen years.
266
00:13:11,176 --> 00:13:12,877
See, this is why you're
an awesome parent.
267
00:13:12,911 --> 00:13:15,379
It's because, like, you're really good
at like, building me up, and like,
268
00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:17,114
makin' me feel good about myself.
269
00:13:17,149 --> 00:13:19,984
Unlike April, the fuckin' runaway mom.
270
00:13:20,019 --> 00:13:23,655
Oh, now, it's a hard thing
to forgive, isn't it?
271
00:13:23,689 --> 00:13:26,492
I've still got a lot of
anger toward Eddie, too.
272
00:13:26,526 --> 00:13:28,294
But I'm trying to be better about it.
273
00:13:29,897 --> 00:13:33,400
No good lugging a lot of hate around.
It will give you ass cancer.
274
00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:36,437
Yeah, ain't trying to fuck around
with cancer in my asshole or nothin'.
275
00:13:36,471 --> 00:13:39,606
I'm more or less just kind
of worried about Toby. I mean,
276
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,176
it does seem pretty important to have
a female lady person in their life.
277
00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:45,245
No, that doesn't matter.
278
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,081
You're better off than a lot of folks.
You've got a nanny and everything.
279
00:13:49,817 --> 00:13:51,218
Yeah, well, that's...
280
00:13:51,252 --> 00:13:54,755
Little baby Toby, he's got a great life.
Don't you cut me off now.
281
00:13:54,789 --> 00:13:56,757
No, no...
282
00:13:56,791 --> 00:13:58,758
To see you end up such a good dad,
I don't know where you learned it.
283
00:13:58,793 --> 00:14:00,227
Definitely not from Eddie.
284
00:14:00,261 --> 00:14:01,762
You make me so happy.
285
00:14:03,598 --> 00:14:05,032
Yeah, well...
286
00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:08,735
Okay, now, your turn. What'd
you want to talk to me about?
287
00:14:10,438 --> 00:14:13,407
Nothing. Let's hit the sack,
huh? It's been a long day.
288
00:14:13,441 --> 00:14:16,743
We've been playing goddamn
Pictionary, smokin' weed,
289
00:14:16,778 --> 00:14:18,278
it's probably time to
call this a night.
290
00:14:18,346 --> 00:14:19,646
Yeah, goodnight, baby.
291
00:14:44,907 --> 00:14:47,509
Ivan! Ivan! Ivan!
292
00:14:47,544 --> 00:14:48,610
Ivan! Ivan!
293
00:15:08,932 --> 00:15:11,601
All right, Casper, I've got it.
Let's get the fuck outta here.
294
00:15:11,635 --> 00:15:13,202
What the hell are you guys doing?
295
00:15:13,237 --> 00:15:14,871
Oh. Hello, Son.
296
00:15:14,905 --> 00:15:17,073
What, are you guys bailing?
You're moving out?
297
00:15:17,108 --> 00:15:18,742
I thought you were trying
to get back with Mom?
298
00:15:18,776 --> 00:15:22,580
Oh, I got her back. I got her
back, front, and side-to-side.
299
00:15:22,614 --> 00:15:25,783
Bullshit. There is no way she
fuckin' let you sleep with her.
300
00:15:25,818 --> 00:15:28,653
Yep. It almost didn't
happen, though.
301
00:15:28,688 --> 00:15:31,457
I had to jerk myself off, play
with her pussy a little bit.
302
00:15:31,491 --> 00:15:34,761
But in the end, we got it on.
303
00:15:34,795 --> 00:15:36,529
Mission accomplished.
304
00:15:36,563 --> 00:15:38,131
Goodbye forever, Son.
305
00:15:41,869 --> 00:15:43,270
Rats.
306
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:45,839
Okay, what in the hell's
going on in here?
307
00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:48,075
It's all right, Mom.
308
00:15:48,109 --> 00:15:50,144
I just caught these two tryin' to bolt
after Dad made sweet love to you,
309
00:15:50,178 --> 00:15:52,079
and now he's runnin' off with all
your goddamn treasures and jewels.
310
00:15:52,113 --> 00:15:53,347
Wait a minute, wait a
minute. Made what to me?
311
00:15:53,381 --> 00:15:55,149
To make love to you.
312
00:15:55,183 --> 00:15:57,451
Oh, that
is not true.
313
00:15:57,486 --> 00:15:59,854
No, he said that he jerked
himself off, and then...
314
00:15:59,888 --> 00:16:02,090
Wait, are you lying?
315
00:16:02,124 --> 00:16:04,525
Goddamn it, I demand
to know the truth!
316
00:16:05,661 --> 00:16:08,095
All right. You want
the truth? Fine!
317
00:16:08,130 --> 00:16:10,164
I came here to rob your mother.
318
00:16:10,199 --> 00:16:15,002
Does it make you feel good to know that I
lied to you about fucking your mother?
319
00:16:15,036 --> 00:16:18,739
When, actually, I only got one of the
best blowjobs of my entire life.
320
00:16:18,773 --> 00:16:21,274
Oh, fuck this. I'm
going back to bed.
321
00:16:21,309 --> 00:16:24,111
We worked this one out together.
I came here to be with you.
322
00:16:24,145 --> 00:16:25,612
Oh, you did not.
323
00:16:25,647 --> 00:16:28,915
Open your eyes! He came
here to ditch the kid!
324
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:30,850
No, I didn't. No.
325
00:16:30,884 --> 00:16:32,318
You take it back.
I know that's not true.
326
00:16:32,352 --> 00:16:34,353
Don't.
327
00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,388
Sorry, Tammy.
328
00:16:36,423 --> 00:16:37,823
Maybe in the next life.
329
00:16:37,857 --> 00:16:39,725
Well, just go on, get the hell out.
330
00:16:41,228 --> 00:16:42,762
Lights, Casper.
331
00:16:46,301 --> 00:16:47,835
I can barely see anything.
332
00:16:47,869 --> 00:16:49,069
There he is.
333
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,644
I can't believe it, it's...
I mean, for him to say something like you came here
334
00:16:55,678 --> 00:16:57,746
to get rid of your baby.
335
00:16:57,780 --> 00:17:00,482
That is so unforgivable.
336
00:17:00,517 --> 00:17:03,552
It's not true. It couldn't
possibly be true.
337
00:17:04,654 --> 00:17:06,388
Is it?
338
00:17:06,422 --> 00:17:09,191
Well, I didn't come here
to get rid of him.
339
00:17:09,225 --> 00:17:12,428
I was kind of envisioning it
as more of a loan program.
340
00:17:12,462 --> 00:17:18,700
It's just really, really super hard for me
to be the man there, and also have a son.
341
00:17:18,735 --> 00:17:21,404
I mean, how can I just fucking
kick ass all the time,
342
00:17:21,438 --> 00:17:23,840
if I gotta do all this
father shit constantly?
343
00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:26,775
I mean, I like Toby, I think
that he's awesome, but,
344
00:17:26,809 --> 00:17:28,510
he just is really fucking up my shit!
345
00:17:28,544 --> 00:17:31,046
I mean, he's the whole entire reason
why April left in the first place!
346
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,648
Oh, yeah, now that's
enough of that garbage.
347
00:17:33,683 --> 00:17:35,884
My God.
348
00:17:35,918 --> 00:17:38,453
I am sorry that April hurt your ass,
349
00:17:38,487 --> 00:17:40,855
and I'm sorry that things
are tough with baseball.
350
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:44,224
We all have hard times,
even champions.
351
00:17:45,626 --> 00:17:50,729
Son, the truth is, is that
someday baseball will end.
352
00:17:50,764 --> 00:17:53,498
And April may never come back.
353
00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:57,670
But Toby will always be your son.
354
00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:02,742
I've tried, Mom.
And I can't.
355
00:18:02,776 --> 00:18:04,610
I can't do it.
356
00:18:04,644 --> 00:18:08,448
It's super hard to be Charles in Charge
when you're not fuckin' Scott Baio.
357
00:18:09,517 --> 00:18:10,884
Just go to bed.
358
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,087
It's fine.
359
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:16,133
I'll take Toby.
360
00:18:17,201 --> 00:18:19,219
I guess you'll be leaving in the morning.
361
00:18:20,002 --> 00:18:23,120
I mean, I could go to your tournament
if you still want me to...
362
00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:26,689
Oh, no, no, no. It's
fine. It's fine.
363
00:18:26,809 --> 00:18:29,460
You got what you came here for.
364
00:18:45,261 --> 00:18:47,660
Don't hold this shit against me, okay?
365
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,025
This is the only way.
366
00:18:50,526 --> 00:18:52,460
Take it easy, buddy.
367
00:19:41,121 --> 00:19:44,690
Guess it's just you and
me. Two broken men.
368
00:19:53,865 --> 00:19:55,399
Fuck that.
369
00:20:05,107 --> 00:20:07,542
It's a glorious day
for redemption, Steven.
370
00:20:10,111 --> 00:20:11,445
What the fuck?
371
00:20:16,051 --> 00:20:18,687
What the hell are you doing here?
372
00:20:18,721 --> 00:20:20,188
Same as you, I guess.
373
00:20:21,490 --> 00:20:23,793
Both just tragic heroes
in the book of life.
374
00:20:24,895 --> 00:20:26,395
We're not so different, you and I.
375
00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:29,766
That's bullshit. I'm
absolutely nothing like you.
376
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,601
Really?
377
00:20:31,636 --> 00:20:35,405
You didn't leave your family and
then come here to get 'em back?
378
00:20:35,439 --> 00:20:39,075
Maybe that one thing
is slightly similar.
379
00:20:39,110 --> 00:20:41,611
Let's go, Bobbi.
Come on, Bobbi!
380
00:20:41,645 --> 00:20:43,312
Watch this, bitch.
381
00:21:18,381 --> 00:21:20,449
I'm all up in your kitchen, bitch.
382
00:21:21,585 --> 00:21:23,018
It's the last frame.
383
00:21:23,053 --> 00:21:26,122
If you don't roll triple
strikes, the trophy is mine.
384
00:21:27,257 --> 00:21:28,424
Back up.
385
00:21:29,693 --> 00:21:32,161
That's right.
All right. Go girl!
386
00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:34,930
VIPs. Move it.
387
00:21:36,866 --> 00:21:38,333
Tammy Powers!
388
00:21:38,367 --> 00:21:39,601
What?
What?
389
00:21:41,170 --> 00:21:43,204
I want you
to listen to me, please.
390
00:21:45,974 --> 00:21:48,208
It's me, Eddie!
391
00:21:48,243 --> 00:21:51,211
I've come back for you, darlin'!
392
00:21:51,245 --> 00:21:55,215
Mom, it's also me, Kenny!
393
00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:59,053
And I've come back to reclaim my son!
394
00:21:59,087 --> 00:22:00,988
Get off the lanes, you fucking idiots!
395
00:22:01,023 --> 00:22:02,824
- This is a championship game!
- Yeah.
396
00:22:02,858 --> 00:22:04,092
Silence, ho!
397
00:22:04,127 --> 00:22:05,994
Shut up, bitch!
398
00:22:06,029 --> 00:22:11,967
I admit that walking out on you last
night and stealing your silverware
399
00:22:12,001 --> 00:22:13,668
was almost unforgivable.
400
00:22:13,703 --> 00:22:15,970
And I, also,
would like to admit
401
00:22:16,005 --> 00:22:19,707
that leaving my son
in the care of my mom
402
00:22:19,742 --> 00:22:22,243
due to high levels of stress
in my baseball career
403
00:22:22,277 --> 00:22:24,512
was also a very bad thing.
404
00:22:24,546 --> 00:22:29,182
Until today, I thought
that I was invincible.
405
00:22:29,217 --> 00:22:35,622
That a, a steady diet of international trim
was all I needed to survive and thrive.
406
00:22:36,758 --> 00:22:41,094
So I blissfully banged
away half of Mexico.
407
00:22:41,128 --> 00:22:45,732
Until I realized that
I wasn't really happy.
408
00:22:45,767 --> 00:22:50,437
I was just trying to fill the
Tammy-sized hole in my heart,
409
00:22:50,472 --> 00:22:56,376
with the holes of ridiculously
beautiful prostitutes.
410
00:22:56,410 --> 00:23:01,314
And I also have thought that raising
a child is primarily woman's work,
411
00:23:01,348 --> 00:23:03,216
and to be honest, I still
do believe that shit.
412
00:23:03,250 --> 00:23:04,317
It is!
413
00:23:06,153 --> 00:23:07,453
No?
414
00:23:07,487 --> 00:23:11,022
If my madre is strong
enough to be a man,
415
00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:14,593
then Kenny Powers is certainly
strong enough to be a fucking woman.
416
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:20,466
Tammy, for all the heartbreak
I have caused you,
417
00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:22,434
and I've caused some,
418
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:24,770
I, I'm sorry...
419
00:23:24,804 --> 00:23:28,107
and I, I want you
back. Forever.
420
00:23:28,141 --> 00:23:30,742
And I also want to tell
you that I am sorry.
421
00:23:30,777 --> 00:23:32,477
And I'd like back my son.
422
00:23:32,512 --> 00:23:34,346
Forever.
423
00:23:34,381 --> 00:23:36,582
Or at least until April
returns to claim him.
424
00:23:40,354 --> 00:23:42,054
We love you.
425
00:23:44,825 --> 00:23:48,394
It's true you both have
hurt me deeply.
426
00:23:48,429 --> 00:23:52,966
But I'm no saint. And I have done my
fair share of fucked-up shit, too.
427
00:23:53,001 --> 00:23:55,970
So it wouldn't be fair
to judge two men
428
00:23:56,004 --> 00:24:00,774
who have either entered, Eddie,
or exited, Kenny, my vagina.
429
00:24:00,809 --> 00:24:04,111
But your speeches have shown
me that you really do care.
430
00:24:04,145 --> 00:24:06,513
And I accept your apologies.
431
00:24:06,548 --> 00:24:08,381
- Yeah!
- Aw.
432
00:24:12,254 --> 00:24:13,287
My son!
433
00:24:13,321 --> 00:24:14,922
Come on, baby!
434
00:24:14,956 --> 00:24:16,857
Guess who's back, motherfucker?
I said I forgive you.
435
00:24:16,891 --> 00:24:19,159
I never said...
436
00:24:19,194 --> 00:24:23,096
I've been patient enough.
And now, watch me bury this bozo.
437
00:24:36,644 --> 00:24:37,810
Yes!
438
00:24:41,381 --> 00:24:43,082
That's it, Tam!
439
00:25:19,255 --> 00:25:20,788
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
440
00:25:43,347 --> 00:25:45,315
Go on, go on.
441
00:25:46,417 --> 00:25:47,584
The speech was good.
442
00:25:47,619 --> 00:25:49,553
Yeah, yours wasn't too bad, either.
443
00:25:49,587 --> 00:25:52,255
You get that from me, you know.
444
00:25:52,290 --> 00:25:54,958
Your throwing arm,
that's from your mama.
445
00:25:54,992 --> 00:25:56,760
But your oratin' skills,
446
00:25:56,794 --> 00:25:58,395
that's all me.
447
00:25:58,429 --> 00:26:01,297
Yeah, well I can definitely see
similarities in our styles.
448
00:26:01,331 --> 00:26:03,031
Your bald head actually
doesn't look that bad.
449
00:26:03,066 --> 00:26:07,235
Oh, thank you. I like the hair that's
on your shoulders and your neck.
450
00:26:09,505 --> 00:26:11,072
Hey!
451
00:26:11,107 --> 00:26:14,209
Hold on, hold on. You're not
taking my grandbaby on that thing.
452
00:26:14,244 --> 00:26:16,278
Well, how the hell do you expect
us to get back to Myrtle?
453
00:26:16,313 --> 00:26:18,948
Oh, no, no. Not my grandbaby.
You take the minivan.
454
00:26:18,983 --> 00:26:20,884
Oh, fuck no. I'm not
driving the minivan.
455
00:26:20,918 --> 00:26:21,985
Oh, hell you are.
456
00:26:22,019 --> 00:26:23,186
Listen to your mom, Son.
457
00:26:23,221 --> 00:26:24,621
Don't you
tell me you're not.
458
00:26:24,656 --> 00:26:26,557
You cannot take a baby...
459
00:26:26,591 --> 00:26:31,529
Chapter six. Fucking making
straight-up decisions now, dude.
460
00:26:31,563 --> 00:26:34,365
As my epic comeback nears its zenith,
461
00:26:34,399 --> 00:26:37,501
I can't help but look back at the low
times when there was no hope or light.
462
00:26:39,403 --> 00:26:41,137
There's an old expressionthat has guided me
463
00:26:41,171 --> 00:26:43,806
through the dark valleys andhazy cul-de-sacs of life.
464
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,476
"Nut up, or sack up."
465
00:26:47,510 --> 00:26:51,380
It means when life gets you all swirly
and thought-ridden, shut it out,
466
00:26:51,414 --> 00:26:54,517
and let the two spherical sperm factories
underneath your dick take over.
467
00:26:57,187 --> 00:27:01,091
They don't think, they don't get confused.
They churn, and attack.
468
00:27:02,893 --> 00:27:06,163
And in moments of doubt, my default
setting is always to attack.
469
00:27:06,197 --> 00:27:10,001
Whether it be a hitter, or an ump, or a
loved one who has stepped out of line.
470
00:27:14,672 --> 00:27:17,340
Not everyone can achievetheir dreams in this world.
471
00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:21,177
That's because most people have things like
feelings, and sentimental attachments.
472
00:27:21,212 --> 00:27:24,780
Nagging shit that keeps them from making
the tough decisions that are necessary
473
00:27:24,815 --> 00:27:26,449
to get to the ultimate top.
474
00:27:29,686 --> 00:27:33,655
Unfortunately, the rocket shipof fame has only room for one.
475
00:27:33,690 --> 00:27:35,791
Any added baggage willjust weigh you down.
476
00:27:35,859 --> 00:27:38,994
Hold you back from shootingfor the fuckin' stars.
477
00:27:39,028 --> 00:27:41,363
Blast off, bitch.
478
00:27:41,397 --> 00:27:52,369
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
479
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,145
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00:27:56,195 --> 00:28:00,745
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