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1
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_
2
00:00:05,691 --> 00:00:07,655
Why didn't I get a fucking letter?
3
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:11,680
You're spending a fair amount
of time in MY house with MY son,
4
00:00:11,705 --> 00:00:12,984
and I don't care for it.
5
00:00:13,009 --> 00:00:15,250
Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
6
00:00:15,275 --> 00:00:17,068
Och aye the noo!
7
00:00:24,535 --> 00:00:26,458
I'm sorry.
8
00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,942
Are you serious? What?
9
00:00:35,996 --> 00:00:37,599
- Take it off.
- No.
10
00:00:37,624 --> 00:00:39,068
- What's wrong with it?
- What's wrong with it?
11
00:00:39,093 --> 00:00:41,332
It's a turtleneck. All
my ties are in Spain.
12
00:00:41,357 --> 00:00:43,067
If I wear a jacket and
a shirt without a tie,
13
00:00:43,092 --> 00:00:44,731
I'll just look like Ahmadinejad.
14
00:00:44,756 --> 00:00:46,326
- He's handsome.
- No, he isn't.
15
00:00:46,351 --> 00:00:48,583
Where did you even find a turtleneck,
anyway?
16
00:00:48,608 --> 00:00:51,302
- It's one of Dad's.
- So bury it with him.
17
00:00:54,869 --> 00:00:57,513
Anybody need to empty
the tank before we go?
18
00:00:57,989 --> 00:01:02,864
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
19
00:01:04,144 --> 00:01:06,536
Hey. Hey!
20
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:08,474
Can you bend your knees or something?
21
00:01:08,499 --> 00:01:10,210
- What?
- Just try and stoop down a little.
22
00:01:10,235 --> 00:01:12,966
- It's just hard to...
- Sure, yeah.
23
00:01:16,423 --> 00:01:18,255
You look lovely.
24
00:01:18,644 --> 00:01:20,323
You should wear black more often.
25
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:22,692
I wear it a lot now, but thanks.
26
00:01:22,843 --> 00:01:25,700
You look like a motorcycle assassin.
27
00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:34,637
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
28
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:45,163
OK, that's enough now.
29
00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:54,554
Now is the hard time,
but it's supposed to be hard.
30
00:01:54,579 --> 00:01:58,022
When I lost Chris,
I thought I would never...
31
00:01:58,047 --> 00:02:00,886
Point is, it gets easier.
32
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,952
I'm here for you.
33
00:02:08,465 --> 00:02:09,944
How are you holding up?
34
00:02:09,969 --> 00:02:11,448
What do you mean by that?
35
00:02:11,667 --> 00:02:14,066
I mean, is my friend, Rob, OK?
36
00:02:14,169 --> 00:02:18,169
Yeah, I'm OK, because the
situation dictates that I be OK.
37
00:02:18,467 --> 00:02:21,666
My wife just lost her father,
and I'm rising to the challenge
38
00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:23,565
cos I'm not a fucking wino
39
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:26,272
who lives under a bridge
like you think I am.
40
00:02:26,332 --> 00:02:28,727
Are you sure?
Because a Metropolitan Police report
41
00:02:28,752 --> 00:02:30,639
had a Bigfoot-type shovelling McNuggets
42
00:02:30,664 --> 00:02:33,077
into his gob under the Vauxhall bypass.
43
00:02:37,646 --> 00:02:39,090
Room for one more?
44
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,217
Mia, I think your car is...
45
00:02:41,242 --> 00:02:43,319
- There's a space.
- Yeah, but Rob is going to...
46
00:02:43,352 --> 00:02:46,124
I think Rob can...
47
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:51,030
I'm just going to, er...
I forgot my wreath.
48
00:02:51,055 --> 00:02:52,859
I'll just...
49
00:02:56,231 --> 00:02:58,163
That guy, farmer's face,
50
00:02:58,188 --> 00:03:01,366
you know, the one with the rosacea,
cauliflower nose?
51
00:03:01,391 --> 00:03:03,110
- Frank.
- Whatever.
52
00:03:03,135 --> 00:03:08,296
You need to know that that
display had nothing to do with Des
53
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,928
and everything to do with
getting into your pants.
54
00:03:12,427 --> 00:03:14,538
You've still got it.
55
00:03:15,827 --> 00:03:17,586
It was really nice of
you guys to come over.
56
00:03:17,611 --> 00:03:19,647
Well, we were in the
neighbourhood, so...
57
00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:22,210
- How are you feeling?
- Yeah, good.
58
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,077
Well, obviously I'm not good,
I'm fucking terrible.
59
00:03:25,102 --> 00:03:29,014
My dad's dead. But there's just
been too much going on to be...
60
00:03:29,117 --> 00:03:32,205
I don't think it's weird that
I'm not feeling sad yet, is it?
61
00:03:32,230 --> 00:03:34,991
I mean, there's been a lot
of organising the funeral
62
00:03:35,016 --> 00:03:37,647
and keeping an eye on Mum
63
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,746
and getting the sandwiches.
64
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:41,538
I took care of the sandwiches.
65
00:03:41,563 --> 00:03:43,002
Oh.
66
00:03:43,027 --> 00:03:43,991
Great.
67
00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:46,148
[SOBBING]
68
00:03:46,173 --> 00:03:48,586
- Sorry!
- No, it's OK.
69
00:03:48,611 --> 00:03:50,095
I'm glad someone's crying.
70
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,679
It's just funerals.
71
00:03:51,704 --> 00:03:54,298
They bring everything up to the surface,
you know.
72
00:03:54,577 --> 00:03:56,735
[SHE BLOWS HER NOSE]
73
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,616
Sorry. Douglas dumped me,
just out of the blue.
74
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:03,200
He just evaporated.
75
00:04:03,225 --> 00:04:05,840
I looked it up. It's called ghosting.
76
00:04:05,865 --> 00:04:08,024
Started in California.
77
00:04:08,049 --> 00:04:09,044
It's when...
78
00:04:09,069 --> 00:04:11,145
Yeah, I know what it is.
79
00:04:11,329 --> 00:04:13,919
It just seems like
everything is terrible
80
00:04:13,944 --> 00:04:16,052
for everyone right now.
81
00:04:24,577 --> 00:04:27,273
I thought a few more of your exes
might show their faces today.
82
00:04:27,298 --> 00:04:29,057
Connor Byrne, at least.
83
00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:31,020
He was almost part of the family once.
84
00:04:31,045 --> 00:04:33,562
- No, he wasn't.
- May he rest in peace.
85
00:04:33,587 --> 00:04:35,386
What? Connor Byrne's dead?
86
00:04:35,411 --> 00:04:39,109
That's terrible. He fingered me the
night before my leaving certificate,
87
00:04:39,134 --> 00:04:41,273
then told everyone
that was why I passed.
88
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:44,778
He knew what he was doing,
though, for such a young lad.
89
00:04:44,803 --> 00:04:47,154
- How did he die?
- I don't know.
90
00:04:47,179 --> 00:04:48,726
I mean if I was to guess, I'd say
91
00:04:48,751 --> 00:04:51,702
- heart disease.
- Or finger cancer.
92
00:04:53,062 --> 00:04:55,221
- Hey.
- Hey, can you talk?
93
00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:56,679
Actually, I'm in the middle of a...
94
00:04:56,704 --> 00:04:59,710
Listen, I think I might
have made a mistake.
95
00:04:59,980 --> 00:05:02,983
I offered Catherine money
not to have the baby.
96
00:05:03,016 --> 00:05:04,304
Oh, Jesus.
97
00:05:04,329 --> 00:05:05,679
I want the baby to be happy,
98
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,583
so I thought the best way to do that
99
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,359
would be for it to not be born.
100
00:05:09,384 --> 00:05:11,743
Wow. What did she say to that?
101
00:05:11,768 --> 00:05:13,491
She said "Get out of my Range Rover".
102
00:05:13,516 --> 00:05:15,554
Well, you know how women don't want men
103
00:05:15,579 --> 00:05:17,445
telling them they
CAN'T have an abortion?
104
00:05:17,523 --> 00:05:20,109
I don't think they like you to
encourage them to have one either.
105
00:05:20,134 --> 00:05:22,406
Yeah. I'm pretty sure
I've done the wrong thing.
106
00:05:22,431 --> 00:05:25,874
Listen, I've got to go.
I'm at Sharon's Dad's funeral.
107
00:05:25,899 --> 00:05:28,960
What? Oh, my God, that's so sad.
108
00:05:28,985 --> 00:05:31,884
I'm so sorry. Could
you give me the address
109
00:05:31,909 --> 00:05:34,628
so I can send an edible
arrangement or something?
110
00:05:34,653 --> 00:05:36,372
I don't know the address. It's Ireland.
111
00:05:36,397 --> 00:05:37,882
The houses don't have numbers.
112
00:05:37,907 --> 00:05:40,786
It's the one by the limestone
jutting out of the bog on,
113
00:05:40,811 --> 00:05:43,100
I don't know, fucking Dingleberry Lane.
114
00:05:43,436 --> 00:05:45,035
- Hey.
- Who was that?
115
00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:46,943
Sorry. Dave. He sends his love.
116
00:05:46,968 --> 00:05:48,127
[MOBILE BEEPS]
117
00:05:48,152 --> 00:05:51,296
- _
- For fuck's sake.
118
00:05:51,321 --> 00:05:53,321
_
119
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,363
- God love him.
- No disrespect to your mother.
120
00:05:57,388 --> 00:05:58,960
We have to get that woman away from Mum.
121
00:05:58,985 --> 00:06:00,851
She's too weak to help herself.
122
00:06:02,844 --> 00:06:05,147
Ah. So...
123
00:06:05,405 --> 00:06:07,564
this is where it all began.
124
00:06:07,744 --> 00:06:10,452
- What?
- Riverdance.
125
00:06:11,606 --> 00:06:13,811
What a lovely song your cousin sang.
126
00:06:13,836 --> 00:06:15,915
Yeah. I mean, it went
on a bit, but, yeah.
127
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,459
Do you think he wrote it special?
128
00:06:17,484 --> 00:06:19,366
I think Tracy Chapman wrote it special,
129
00:06:19,391 --> 00:06:20,827
but it was lovely nonetheless.
130
00:06:20,852 --> 00:06:23,334
Do you want to go in? I'll take her in.
131
00:06:23,359 --> 00:06:25,038
I'm right behind you.
132
00:06:25,063 --> 00:06:26,913
Save me a seat.
133
00:06:27,374 --> 00:06:31,373
Honey, I know it's a busy day,
but if things settle down a bit later,
134
00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:33,635
could you maybe run me out to a shop
135
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:37,619
to get a couple of those nice
Irish wool sweaters they have here?
136
00:06:37,644 --> 00:06:40,045
You know, the big,
thick, fisherman ones.
137
00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:42,983
- You know the ones I mean?
- My dad's dead.
138
00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:52,416
Why am I not more upset?
139
00:06:52,441 --> 00:06:55,066
- You are upset.
- Not enough.
140
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,792
When you found out that kid you
went to summer camp with died,
141
00:06:57,824 --> 00:07:00,839
you barely got out of bed.
I had to slap you around.
142
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:05,878
This is my dad. It isn't some
kid you showed your dick to once.
143
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,525
I spent my summers with him.
144
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:09,003
Yeah, two summers.
145
00:07:09,028 --> 00:07:10,971
You cried until you threw up.
146
00:07:10,996 --> 00:07:12,831
Is that what you're supposed to do?
147
00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:16,828
What's wrong with me? I know I CAN cry.
148
00:07:17,209 --> 00:07:20,218
I cried last week in the bank when
that woman told me my bag was messy.
149
00:07:20,243 --> 00:07:23,234
Look, our emotions are weird, OK?
150
00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:24,656
That's why they're emotions.
151
00:07:24,681 --> 00:07:27,382
There's no playbook on how to grieve.
152
00:07:27,911 --> 00:07:29,630
I want to be sadder.
153
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,546
He fucking died 20 minutes ago.
154
00:07:32,571 --> 00:07:34,886
Don't be sad that you're not sad now.
155
00:07:34,911 --> 00:07:36,305
You're going to unfold.
156
00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:38,605
You're going to spend time on the floor.
157
00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:41,101
- Do you promise?
- I promise.
158
00:07:44,528 --> 00:07:47,859
The last thought I had about
him was that he was a bad dad.
159
00:07:49,189 --> 00:07:50,914
And he wasn't.
160
00:07:50,967 --> 00:07:57,765
He was a great, complicated, grumpy,
pain in the hole, great dad and...
161
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:01,598
If I could just have had
one weekend with him,
162
00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:04,090
I think we could have sorted
a lot of our shit out.
163
00:08:04,115 --> 00:08:06,114
Fuck it, not even a
weekend, an afternoon
164
00:08:06,139 --> 00:08:08,746
or a lunch with no kids around.
165
00:08:09,045 --> 00:08:10,849
I wasn't done with him.
166
00:08:23,104 --> 00:08:25,390
That's not a boner, is it?
167
00:08:25,531 --> 00:08:27,594
I'm so sorry.
168
00:08:28,144 --> 00:08:30,412
For fuck's sake.
169
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:33,126
Bye, girls.
170
00:08:33,151 --> 00:08:36,383
- Take care of yourself.
- You too.
171
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:43,366
I'm going to take the fastest pee in
the world, and I'll be right back.
172
00:08:43,391 --> 00:08:44,351
OK.
173
00:08:45,641 --> 00:08:48,062
Do you want me to tell her to go?
I'll just tell her to go.
174
00:08:48,086 --> 00:08:49,789
- What do you mean?
- Well, if you don't want her here,
175
00:08:49,814 --> 00:08:51,226
we just have to tell her to go.
176
00:08:51,251 --> 00:08:55,484
Why? She makes me laugh, and she
does the dishes after every meal.
177
00:08:55,509 --> 00:08:57,548
If she wants to be here,
then I want her here.
178
00:08:57,573 --> 00:08:59,257
Oh. Oh, OK.
179
00:08:59,282 --> 00:09:01,580
I'm not ready to be on my own.
180
00:09:04,684 --> 00:09:07,260
Bye. Take care.
181
00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:13,820
Here. Don't open it now.
182
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:17,164
OK. Is it a cheque for ?8,000?
183
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,664
- Asshole.
- Prick.
184
00:09:22,748 --> 00:09:25,260
Have fun in Espana.
185
00:09:30,618 --> 00:09:34,406
Bye! Bye!
186
00:09:34,431 --> 00:09:37,507
What the fuck is going on?
187
00:09:37,532 --> 00:09:38,969
It's sweet.
188
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,869
Wait, what if they fall
in love and get married?
189
00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:44,893
Would that mean we'd
be brother and sister?
190
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,198
- Are you OK with that?
- I suppose.
191
00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:49,915
I don't think I'm ever going
to have sex again, anyway.
192
00:09:49,995 --> 00:09:54,440
Seems like a silly thing to be all "uh,
uh, uh" after everything.
193
00:09:54,465 --> 00:09:56,323
Well, that's a pretty big decision.
194
00:09:56,348 --> 00:09:59,340
You might want to chat
with your brother first.
195
00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:14,881
[HE SIGHS]
196
00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:21,412
[MOBILE PHONE RINGS]
197
00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:29,140
Hey.
198
00:10:29,714 --> 00:10:32,076
- You OK?
- Yeah, just...
199
00:10:32,793 --> 00:10:34,865
- Are YOU OK?
- Yeah.
200
00:10:34,890 --> 00:10:37,662
I'm just lying in the
back of Melissa's car.
201
00:10:38,921 --> 00:10:41,935
It's a bit smelly.
It's not as smelly as our car,
202
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,061
but it smells like lemon
grass and burger meat.
203
00:10:45,086 --> 00:10:48,455
It's not a bad smell, I just wonder
if she cooks in here or something.
204
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,912
Why are you in Melissa's car?
205
00:10:49,937 --> 00:10:52,496
Oh, I just can't handle being
around anyone right now.
206
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,967
It's all right, I had a free period.
207
00:10:53,992 --> 00:10:56,591
I didn't run out of the
classroom screaming. You OK?
208
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:59,451
- Why did you call?
- I just wanted to say hi.
209
00:11:00,107 --> 00:11:02,546
Do you want to watch some
Better Call Sauls tonight,
210
00:11:02,571 --> 00:11:03,980
and I'll brush your hair?
211
00:11:04,432 --> 00:11:06,904
- Sure.
- OK.
212
00:11:06,929 --> 00:11:09,033
- Bye.
- Bye.
213
00:11:22,544 --> 00:11:24,463
All right, all right.
214
00:11:24,488 --> 00:11:27,411
Just clearing some shit out of my house.
215
00:11:27,436 --> 00:11:29,220
Have a nice day.
216
00:11:31,178 --> 00:11:32,606
And correct me if I'm wrong.
217
00:11:32,631 --> 00:11:35,110
You are a 48-year-old man.
218
00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:37,247
Do you think that it's
adult behaviour to...
219
00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:38,832
maybe I've lost my mind,
220
00:11:38,857 --> 00:11:42,036
but it seemed to me that
WE were in a relationship.
221
00:11:42,061 --> 00:11:44,388
No, you're right about all those things.
222
00:11:44,644 --> 00:11:47,154
I am 48. Well, will be
for a few more weeks.
223
00:11:47,179 --> 00:11:49,761
And we were in a relationship.
224
00:11:49,786 --> 00:11:51,501
So what happened, then?
225
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,060
We had something.
226
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,314
And the sex was...
227
00:11:57,339 --> 00:11:59,140
All of it was...
228
00:11:59,165 --> 00:12:04,022
I have never enjoyed (blow
jobs) like I did with you.
229
00:12:04,047 --> 00:12:08,861
Before you, it was always, you know,
just a bit more of an obligation.
230
00:12:09,619 --> 00:12:11,818
But I loved it with you.
231
00:12:11,889 --> 00:12:15,889
The chemistry of us was...
232
00:12:17,205 --> 00:12:18,724
It just...
233
00:12:18,749 --> 00:12:20,373
felt right...
234
00:12:20,398 --> 00:12:21,917
in my mouth.
235
00:12:22,192 --> 00:12:23,810
Look, Fran, I don't know.
236
00:12:23,835 --> 00:12:25,675
Your son doesn't like me.
237
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,076
I'm not mad about him.
238
00:12:27,101 --> 00:12:28,434
I don't like your husband.
239
00:12:28,459 --> 00:12:30,530
He's my ex-husband.
240
00:12:30,554 --> 00:12:31,389
Are you sure about that?
241
00:12:31,414 --> 00:12:32,991
You don't know about the
little visit he paid me.
242
00:12:33,015 --> 00:12:34,670
Quite the menacing little twat.
243
00:12:35,072 --> 00:12:36,428
Anyway, it worked.
244
00:12:36,453 --> 00:12:37,692
- I'm out.
- He what?!
245
00:12:37,717 --> 00:12:40,873
If it's the sex you miss,
go and have sex with someone else.
246
00:12:40,898 --> 00:12:42,811
I don't have a black belt in it.
247
00:12:42,836 --> 00:12:45,500
I didn't invent getting my dick sucked.
248
00:12:57,145 --> 00:13:00,339
Oh, I tried to call,
but I dropped my phone in Carol's sink,
249
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:03,590
and now all it'll do is
camera and Angry Birds.
250
00:13:03,615 --> 00:13:06,175
Could you take me to
Carphone Warehouse later?
251
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:08,551
- Yeah.
- I got to use the bathroom.
252
00:13:08,576 --> 00:13:10,415
I thought you were staying with Carol?
253
00:13:10,439 --> 00:13:12,334
Oh, I had to get out of there.
254
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,827
It's too cold.
255
00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:16,695
We cut up some peat
and threw it on a fire.
256
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,484
I wouldn't be surprised
if Des froze to death.
257
00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:21,508
I had to wear three coats.
258
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:23,732
I looked like Nanook Of The North.
259
00:13:23,757 --> 00:13:27,461
Anyway, I feel like I gave it the
good old college try, you know?
260
00:13:27,486 --> 00:13:29,428
I set her on a good path, I think.
261
00:13:29,453 --> 00:13:32,385
Carol is not going to
be alone for that long.
262
00:13:32,410 --> 00:13:36,687
Have you seen her ass?
I mean, for a woman her age?
263
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,700
How did Sharon get such a bony ass?
264
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:59,953
Fran. Ow! Hey!
265
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,860
Your mother is a pricktease.
266
00:14:04,108 --> 00:14:07,627
OK. She gets my mother all juiced up
for company and then she just up and
267
00:14:07,652 --> 00:14:09,960
- splits.
- Are you sure your mom's upset?
268
00:14:09,985 --> 00:14:11,133
Did you ask her?
269
00:14:11,158 --> 00:14:13,130
My mum's not going to
tell me if she's upset.
270
00:14:13,155 --> 00:14:16,142
She's a martyr. If she tells you she's
not upset, she's definitely upset.
271
00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:19,061
If she tells you she's grand,
then you know she's fine.
272
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,931
Do you want me to tell
my mom to go back there?
273
00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:23,731
Well, that would be bizarre.
274
00:14:23,756 --> 00:14:27,035
No, I just want you to know
that I don't like what she did.
275
00:14:27,060 --> 00:14:30,204
- Oh. OK.
- And what's up with all the whistling?
276
00:14:30,229 --> 00:14:31,760
When did she become a whistler?
277
00:14:31,785 --> 00:14:33,306
Do you want me to tell
her to stop whistling?
278
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:36,087
I wouldn't mind if she was
whistling something decent.
279
00:14:36,112 --> 00:14:39,119
It's just fucking...
I don't want to hear that shit.
280
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:41,408
Practise,
and then whistle me something decent.
281
00:14:41,433 --> 00:14:43,472
Bring me the finished product.
282
00:14:43,682 --> 00:14:45,925
You'd think someone that
old would have a hard time
283
00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:48,206
thinking of new ways
for you to hate them.
284
00:14:49,977 --> 00:14:52,416
- How long's she staying?
- I don't know.
285
00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:55,802
She was buying stuff online earlier
to be delivered to our house.
286
00:14:55,827 --> 00:14:58,906
- It doesn't feel like a short visit.
- I wouldn't worry about that.
287
00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:02,066
If she's drawing breath,
she's ordering stuff online.
288
00:15:02,091 --> 00:15:05,461
For her, it's not about receiving
the stuff, it's about...
289
00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:10,799
Hitting the order button and
getting the buzz, like a junkie.
290
00:15:11,655 --> 00:15:13,334
Oh.
291
00:15:13,530 --> 00:15:15,780
- Thank you.
- For what?
292
00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:18,488
Just for letting me
lay into your mother.
293
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:21,486
I like a lot of things about you,
but that is up there.
294
00:15:21,511 --> 00:15:23,550
That is near the top.
295
00:15:23,575 --> 00:15:26,723
Well, the things I hate
about her are set in stone.
296
00:15:26,748 --> 00:15:28,582
So what you say, I listen to,
297
00:15:28,607 --> 00:15:31,225
but that's never going to be as
bad as what I know about her.
298
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:34,540
Well, thank you anyway.
299
00:15:38,218 --> 00:15:41,577
- We're OK, aren't we?
- Yeah, what do you mean?
300
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:46,061
I don't know, it's just been
a tough year so far and...
301
00:15:46,869 --> 00:15:51,313
you're so great about the,
you know, all the shit with me and
302
00:15:51,345 --> 00:15:54,150
- that... You know.
- Yeah.
303
00:15:54,175 --> 00:15:56,579
And you going back to Braeband
when I know you hate it there,
304
00:15:56,604 --> 00:15:58,343
but you're doing it for us.
305
00:15:58,368 --> 00:16:02,740
I just...
I think you're a really good person.
306
00:16:03,328 --> 00:16:05,927
- No, I'm not.
- Yeah, you are.
307
00:16:05,952 --> 00:16:10,642
You're a good husband and a
good dad and for a little while,
308
00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:14,300
after you shower, you even smell good.
309
00:16:21,431 --> 00:16:23,390
I love you.
310
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,799
Oh. Did you have a nightmare?
311
00:16:36,824 --> 00:16:39,299
What's the matter, honey?
312
00:16:40,407 --> 00:16:44,726
A few months ago, I
started drinking again.
313
00:16:44,751 --> 00:16:49,718
Nothing terrible has happened,
but I feel like shit.
314
00:16:54,012 --> 00:17:00,361
I need help, and I wanted to
tell Sharon, but then Des died,
315
00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:05,439
so I couldn't and I know it would
be a really bad thing to drink right
316
00:17:05,464 --> 00:17:08,781
now, but I want to.
317
00:17:08,806 --> 00:17:10,940
A lot.
318
00:17:13,378 --> 00:17:16,663
Fucking drinking again? You can't drink!
319
00:17:16,688 --> 00:17:17,789
I know!
320
00:17:18,131 --> 00:17:21,116
- Jesus...
- No. You don't know.
321
00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:24,340
You never could drink.
Why would it be any different now?
322
00:17:24,968 --> 00:17:26,847
You're just like your father.
323
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,476
What the fuck does that
have to do with it?
324
00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:33,038
You know how my jaw always clicks,
you know, when I eat steak?
325
00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:35,780
It's cos your father broke it.
326
00:17:36,994 --> 00:17:41,289
- That's why I kicked him out.
- Jesus! Mum, why didn't you tell me?
327
00:17:41,314 --> 00:17:45,650
Why would my little boy need to know
that his daddy got drunk and punched
328
00:17:45,675 --> 00:17:47,632
his mommy in the head?
329
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:55,221
You put a plug in the jug, mister,
because if you ever hit Sharon...
330
00:17:55,861 --> 00:17:58,260
I'll fucking kill you.
331
00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:00,522
I'm not going to hit her.
332
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,906
Oh, please.
333
00:18:01,931 --> 00:18:05,617
Your being drunk and her being
as annoying as she is...
334
00:18:05,881 --> 00:18:07,320
You're going to hit her.
335
00:18:07,345 --> 00:18:11,345
[MOBILE PHONE RINGS]
336
00:18:15,531 --> 00:18:16,578
Hey, what's up?
337
00:18:16,603 --> 00:18:19,701
Oh, nothing, just checking in,
see how you're coping.
338
00:18:19,726 --> 00:18:20,937
Really?
339
00:18:21,155 --> 00:18:22,975
Well, I'm totally fucking fine.
340
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,982
Turns out losing your
dad isn't hard at all.
341
00:18:25,007 --> 00:18:27,327
Would you like to talk
about it over a drink?
342
00:18:27,352 --> 00:18:28,149
Not really.
343
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,991
I can make it easy for you,
meet you at your local.
344
00:18:31,016 --> 00:18:32,495
I'm here now, as it goes.
345
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,257
Well, Rob's out and I feel
bad leaving Mia on her own.
346
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,062
Want to do it another time?
347
00:18:38,087 --> 00:18:39,507
- OK.
- I'll talk to you.
348
00:18:39,532 --> 00:18:40,976
Bye.
349
00:18:48,568 --> 00:18:50,618
Do you have O?
350
00:18:51,051 --> 00:18:53,926
- What?
- The Oprah Winfrey Network?
351
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,806
I don't know, Mia.
There's, like, 700 channels.
352
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:59,306
Might be in there. Hunt around.
353
00:18:59,331 --> 00:19:01,958
Wait, never mind,
I just found my favourite show,
354
00:19:01,983 --> 00:19:03,805
My Children Are Schizophrenic.
355
00:19:04,034 --> 00:19:08,124
So great. Can you imagine you have
the one kid that's schizophrenic and
356
00:19:08,149 --> 00:19:10,399
then you say, "Let's roll the
dice and have another kid",
357
00:19:10,424 --> 00:19:13,564
"like a friend for that one,"
and that one's schizophrenic also,
358
00:19:13,589 --> 00:19:16,571
so they buy the apartment
or the house next door...
359
00:19:16,596 --> 00:19:17,049
Fran?
360
00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:21,744
with the disability and everything,
it is great TV.
361
00:19:35,055 --> 00:19:36,640
- _
- OK, ladies and gentlemen,
362
00:19:36,665 --> 00:19:38,641
I think it's time that we
get this meeting started,
363
00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:41,140
if you could take your seats, please.
364
00:19:42,885 --> 00:19:45,821
We'll just hang on for a few stragglers.
365
00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:48,884
I'm going to start volunteering
at the local hospital,
366
00:19:48,909 --> 00:19:52,798
get a sensible haircut,
buy a couple of vibrators.
367
00:19:53,194 --> 00:19:56,633
Maybe get one of those with the wee
dangly thing that tickles the...
368
00:19:56,658 --> 00:19:59,577
Anyway. That's it now, I'm out.
369
00:19:59,602 --> 00:20:03,813
I'm 46 next birthday, so it was
going to happen sooner or later.
370
00:20:03,838 --> 00:20:05,517
Oh, Christ.
371
00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:09,073
Look, I'm too tired to be
blowing smoke up your arsehole,
372
00:20:09,098 --> 00:20:12,548
but that is too young to be putting
yourself out to pasture, you know?
373
00:20:12,573 --> 00:20:16,573
I've seen you in yoga pants.
You still have something to offer.
374
00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:19,669
I'm just so horny!
375
00:20:19,694 --> 00:20:21,165
I know, honey.
376
00:20:21,190 --> 00:20:22,989
I mean...
377
00:20:23,122 --> 00:20:24,860
the taste of him,
378
00:20:25,366 --> 00:20:28,970
- it's like... it's like...
- I'm going to piss.
379
00:20:32,717 --> 00:20:35,993
Aye. She's broken.
380
00:20:36,018 --> 00:20:37,977
I don't think she'll
ever get over this one.
381
00:20:38,002 --> 00:20:41,380
No tincture in the
land can save her now.
382
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:44,235
Upon reflection, though,
if Fran wanted to be with a cunt
383
00:20:44,260 --> 00:20:45,439
I should have let her be with a cunt.
384
00:20:45,464 --> 00:20:47,081
Mm. Plus, your nose is fucked up.
385
00:20:47,106 --> 00:20:48,891
I don't care about my nose,
I care about my son.
386
00:20:48,931 --> 00:20:52,469
And, I have vestigial feelings
for the woman I made him with.
387
00:20:52,494 --> 00:20:55,573
That's what being a dad is.
Something you'll soon learn.
388
00:20:55,598 --> 00:20:57,008
Yeah. I'm excited.
389
00:20:57,033 --> 00:20:58,540
I've decided
390
00:20:58,776 --> 00:21:00,780
I'm going to hire a couple of nannies,
391
00:21:00,805 --> 00:21:03,364
and just be more of a benevolent
figure in the background.
392
00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:06,668
Like a nice guy he knows,
but who won't shape his personality.
393
00:21:06,693 --> 00:21:10,294
I mean, yeah, he'll have my shitty
genes, but nature/nurture, I mean...
394
00:21:10,319 --> 00:21:11,421
the jury's out.
395
00:21:11,446 --> 00:21:13,940
No, the jury's in, they both matter.
396
00:21:18,660 --> 00:21:20,179
I-I'm totally scared.
397
00:21:20,204 --> 00:21:21,843
Why shouldn't you be scared?
398
00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:24,272
Who are you,
that you don't need to be scared?
399
00:21:24,297 --> 00:21:26,569
If you're alive,
you SHOULD be scared sometimes,
400
00:21:26,594 --> 00:21:29,193
the world's a fucking slaughterhouse.
I'M scared.
401
00:21:29,218 --> 00:21:31,580
Really glad I came out with you guys.
402
00:21:34,699 --> 00:21:38,418
Tell you what, though. You'll feel
a love you've never felt before.
403
00:21:38,443 --> 00:21:39,882
Even for cocaine.
404
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:42,881
- What about heroin?
- I don't know, I've never tried heroin.
405
00:21:42,906 --> 00:21:45,140
You've never tried heroin?!
406
00:21:45,165 --> 00:21:48,202
- I'm done feeding.
- I'm going to go to sleep.
407
00:21:53,266 --> 00:21:55,150
Bye.
408
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:03,900
How have you never tried heroin?
409
00:22:04,153 --> 00:22:06,900
I thought you're from "Glas-goww".
410
00:22:11,959 --> 00:22:15,736
[EMPTY TOILET ROLL RATTLES]
411
00:22:15,761 --> 00:22:19,761
Oh, for fuck's sake.
412
00:22:22,368 --> 00:22:26,260
[SHE SIGHS]
413
00:23:16,026 --> 00:23:18,745
[SHE SOBS]
414
00:23:18,770 --> 00:23:23,700
[FRAN SNIFFS]
415
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,552
It's going to be all right.
416
00:23:29,577 --> 00:23:32,020
Are you OK?
417
00:23:32,523 --> 00:23:34,420
I'm grand.
418
00:23:39,540 --> 00:23:43,540
[PHONE RINGS]
419
00:23:44,282 --> 00:23:45,401
Hey...
420
00:23:45,426 --> 00:23:48,025
Can you... can you come and get me?
421
00:23:48,050 --> 00:23:49,643
Can you not get a taxi?
422
00:23:49,668 --> 00:23:52,329
What...?
Hang on a second, there's a man here
423
00:23:52,354 --> 00:23:54,761
who wants to have a quick word with you.
Hold on a second.
424
00:23:54,793 --> 00:23:57,300
[PUTTING ON DEEP VOICE]: Sir,
your wife is very drunk.
425
00:23:57,325 --> 00:23:59,284
We've had to remove her
from our establishment,
426
00:23:59,309 --> 00:24:01,776
so now she's out on the
streets like rubbish.
427
00:24:01,801 --> 00:24:04,160
So... come and get your rubbish
428
00:24:04,185 --> 00:24:07,035
and take it home and...
you know, make love to it.
429
00:24:07,060 --> 00:24:09,409
OK. Tell her I'm on my way.
430
00:24:09,434 --> 00:24:11,313
[IN HER OWN VOICE]: OK.
431
00:24:11,338 --> 00:24:15,815
Oh, no, wait - she looks like
she's headed into a Nando's.
432
00:24:16,796 --> 00:24:19,237
It was brilliant, I cried a lot
433
00:24:19,262 --> 00:24:22,479
and then I threw up on
the window of a Pret.
434
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,870
- Well, that's great, honey.
- I know.
435
00:24:24,895 --> 00:24:27,820
I cried for, like, an hour.
436
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:30,260
I think I was worried because I...
437
00:24:30,285 --> 00:24:33,542
I've never lost anyone
I really loved before.
438
00:24:36,118 --> 00:24:37,737
Don't ever leave me.
439
00:24:37,762 --> 00:24:38,921
I won't.
440
00:24:38,946 --> 00:24:40,665
Because I'm never going to leave you.
441
00:24:40,690 --> 00:24:42,979
And it's not even because I love you,
I just...
442
00:24:43,004 --> 00:24:46,760
I mean, I do, but...
there's a working part missing now,
443
00:24:46,785 --> 00:24:50,237
YOU took it out, or something and...
444
00:24:51,528 --> 00:24:54,300
now I just don't work without you.
445
00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:58,292
I'm 100% reliant on you. OK?
446
00:24:58,317 --> 00:24:59,737
Is that sexy?
447
00:24:59,762 --> 00:25:01,338
Is that sexy?
448
00:25:01,370 --> 00:25:03,368
I... I don't know. But...
449
00:25:03,393 --> 00:25:05,636
that's how I feel.
450
00:25:10,739 --> 00:25:12,768
Do you want to put
your hand up my skirt?
451
00:25:12,793 --> 00:25:14,550
Sure.
452
00:25:16,141 --> 00:25:19,660
Come on... Get in there!
453
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:23,685
[SHE LAUGHS]
454
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,382
Listen. I need to...
455
00:25:27,407 --> 00:25:29,104
Hang on. Cos I need pizza.
456
00:25:29,129 --> 00:25:32,252
Well... Jesus, don't go in there,
let me make you something at home.
457
00:25:32,277 --> 00:25:33,877
No, cos I want something disgusting,
458
00:25:33,902 --> 00:25:35,963
you know, with the little pepperonis
459
00:25:35,988 --> 00:25:38,107
that are all curled up like oil cups
460
00:25:38,132 --> 00:25:40,322
and the oil's all, you know... yellow.
461
00:25:40,347 --> 00:25:42,402
LIKE COLDPLAY:
The
oil's all yellow!
462
00:25:42,427 --> 00:25:44,175
All right, let... let me pull over.
463
00:25:44,207 --> 00:25:45,073
No, it's fine, it's fine.
464
00:25:45,098 --> 00:25:48,231
- Christ's sake!
- [HORNS HONK]
465
00:25:49,759 --> 00:25:51,742
Jesus...! Fucking open your eyes!
466
00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:54,073
- [BLAST FROM BUS HORN]
- Oh, my God!
467
00:25:54,098 --> 00:25:56,817
Open your... fucking eyes! Fuck!
468
00:25:56,842 --> 00:25:57,893
[HORNS HONK]
469
00:25:57,918 --> 00:26:01,020
Shut the fuck up!
470
00:26:03,954 --> 00:26:05,513
[HORN BLASTS]
471
00:26:05,538 --> 00:26:09,276
Give me a fucking second...
472
00:26:09,762 --> 00:26:12,104
Goddammit...
473
00:26:19,914 --> 00:26:23,206
[SCREECH OF TYRES]
474
00:26:24,203 --> 00:26:26,284
Oh, my God...
475
00:26:26,309 --> 00:26:28,897
Oh, my God. Rob!
476
00:26:28,943 --> 00:26:30,662
Rob...!
477
00:26:30,687 --> 00:26:33,198
Rob! What happened?
478
00:26:33,223 --> 00:26:35,448
Are you OK...? I'm going to get help.
479
00:26:35,473 --> 00:26:36,643
Fuck...!
480
00:26:36,668 --> 00:26:38,127
Are the police coming?
481
00:26:38,153 --> 00:26:38,886
What...?
482
00:26:38,911 --> 00:26:41,464
I dunno... I think it's an ambulance.
483
00:26:41,489 --> 00:26:43,328
They're going to give me a breathalyser.
484
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:44,780
What...? What?
485
00:26:44,972 --> 00:26:46,839
I'm not going to pass it.
486
00:26:46,864 --> 00:26:48,460
What...?
487
00:26:49,381 --> 00:26:51,580
I'm sorry.
488
00:26:51,605 --> 00:26:52,713
[SIREN WAILS]
489
00:26:52,738 --> 00:26:56,738
[HE SNIFFS]
490
00:27:01,951 --> 00:27:09,340
MUSIC: Inner Light by Angels & Agony
491
00:27:09,390 --> 00:27:13,940
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