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1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:01,679
I'm pretty sure I can
smell booze on you.
2
00:00:01,704 --> 00:00:04,351
- Don't you not drink?
- I have the odd drink now.
3
00:00:04,376 --> 00:00:05,453
OK.
4
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:08,717
Well, we're not moving back here.
I don't want to die in Walthamstow.
5
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,123
You're not going to die,
and this isn't Walthamstow.
6
00:00:11,148 --> 00:00:13,023
This is Douglas.
7
00:00:13,048 --> 00:00:14,623
Aloha.
8
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,875
She said you told her
that she was too beautiful
9
00:00:16,898 --> 00:00:19,417
to work in the same building as you.
10
00:00:19,418 --> 00:00:22,891
Well, she told me that she
wanted to suck my cock...
11
00:00:22,916 --> 00:00:24,272
until I passed out.
12
00:00:24,297 --> 00:00:26,456
That kind of language
is utterly inappropriate.
13
00:00:26,457 --> 00:00:27,816
I fucking agree.
14
00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:32,416
Plus, none of the autopsies
showed conclusively
15
00:00:32,417 --> 00:00:34,367
that it was Trilafon
that killed those guys,
16
00:00:34,392 --> 00:00:38,296
but it's time for us to tell
the British public we're sorry.
17
00:00:38,297 --> 00:00:40,576
Though we can't actually say that.
18
00:00:40,577 --> 00:00:43,176
In other news, it's great
to welcome Rob Norris
19
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,696
and his creative eye back.
20
00:00:44,697 --> 00:00:47,241
Rob's been in Montreal
these past few weeks,
21
00:00:47,266 --> 00:00:49,936
teaching a course in
pharmaceutical marketing
22
00:00:49,937 --> 00:00:52,256
at McGill University's
school of business.
23
00:00:52,257 --> 00:00:55,582
- Good to have you back, Rob.
- Good to be back.
24
00:00:56,238 --> 00:00:59,536
Um, I very much appreciate
that gesture but we...
25
00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,496
I massaged the truth a bit. So what?
26
00:01:01,497 --> 00:01:04,065
- I thought it might be easier that way.
- Thank you, I...
27
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,856
I'll see you at the
extended-release transdermal
28
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,176
cyclobenzaprine meeting.
29
00:01:07,177 --> 00:01:08,936
We should come up with
an acronym for that,
30
00:01:08,937 --> 00:01:10,736
because it takes a while to say.
31
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:22,398
I just wanted to say...
32
00:01:22,423 --> 00:01:26,502
I'm back from Canada
and it's good to be back.
33
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,265
- OK...
- All right.
34
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,304
I'll see you around.
35
00:01:37,683 --> 00:01:39,777
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:41,097 --> 00:01:42,736
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
37
00:01:42,737 --> 00:01:44,722
Mate, are you going to
be in there for a while?
38
00:01:44,824 --> 00:01:46,652
There's a toilet downstairs.
39
00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:49,856
That seat's rickety. You
might want to get it fixed.
40
00:01:52,297 --> 00:01:54,621
I was just winding you up.
41
00:01:54,646 --> 00:01:55,988
Good one.
42
00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,160
[HE EXHALES]
43
00:01:58,185 --> 00:01:59,589
Jesus!
44
00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:02,736
Seriously, you might
need to see a doctor.
45
00:02:04,473 --> 00:02:06,471
He needs to not be in
this house any more.
46
00:02:06,496 --> 00:02:07,574
What's he done now?
47
00:02:07,599 --> 00:02:10,361
One of my core beliefs is that
I should be able to take a shit
48
00:02:10,386 --> 00:02:13,152
in my own home without
being bothered by a stranger.
49
00:02:13,177 --> 00:02:14,496
He's doing you a favour.
50
00:02:14,497 --> 00:02:16,268
Seriously, it cannot be good for you,
51
00:02:16,293 --> 00:02:18,732
sitting like that for hours
with your arse all open.
52
00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:20,412
Something's going to fall out one day.
53
00:02:20,413 --> 00:02:22,369
- Or crawl in.
- [HE CHUCKLES]
54
00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:24,772
- What time are you up?
- I've got to get in early.
55
00:02:24,773 --> 00:02:27,332
We have some MPs coming
in that we have to bribe.
56
00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:29,393
We fucked up on a clinical trial
57
00:02:29,418 --> 00:02:31,766
and a little girl in Sheffield
grew an ear on her neck.
58
00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:33,292
Yeah, but that's when
you were on leave, right?
59
00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:36,026
Yeah, I never would
have signed off on that.
60
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,877
What's it like being back?
61
00:02:39,173 --> 00:02:41,376
- Is it horrible?
- It's not wonderful.
62
00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:43,812
Well, if it's any consolation,
you going back to a job you hate
63
00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:47,052
so we don't lose our home
gives me the massive horn.
64
00:02:47,053 --> 00:02:50,118
- That does sound nice.
- I don't mean right now.
65
00:02:50,143 --> 00:02:51,635
Not now.
66
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:53,237
I had a big dinner.
67
00:02:54,088 --> 00:02:56,572
Do you feel bad that neither of us
is going to be with the kids now?
68
00:02:56,573 --> 00:02:58,772
I mean, I went back to work
and they had to get used to you,
69
00:02:58,773 --> 00:03:00,819
and now you're like,
"Fuck you, I'm off too".
70
00:03:00,844 --> 00:03:04,172
What, "Fuck you, I need to earn
money to support my family?"
71
00:03:04,173 --> 00:03:05,686
That's the opposite of "Fuck you."
72
00:03:05,711 --> 00:03:08,233
- Fuck you.
- Fuck off!
73
00:03:09,053 --> 00:03:10,772
We need to sort out a
child-minder, though.
74
00:03:10,773 --> 00:03:12,812
Like, a proper child-minder,
if we're both working.
75
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:14,420
It was all right when
Anna was our baby-sitter.
76
00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,538
I mean, your baby-sitter's
supposed to be shit.
77
00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:19,732
Yeah, all they have to do is put
them to bed and then just sit there.
78
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,252
She doesn't just sit there.
79
00:03:21,253 --> 00:03:23,012
You know when we went
to see Jason Bourne?
80
00:03:23,013 --> 00:03:25,491
When we got back the
living room smelt of sex.
81
00:03:25,516 --> 00:03:26,652
No, it didn't.
82
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:29,172
Well, it at least smelt of solo sex.
83
00:03:29,173 --> 00:03:32,617
Maybe she just microwaved
a Findus Crispy Pancake.
84
00:03:33,533 --> 00:03:36,332
What's that thing on her neck
now? Is that a wound dressing?
85
00:03:36,357 --> 00:03:37,908
I thought it was a nicotine patch.
86
00:03:37,933 --> 00:03:40,827
Well, whatever it is, I don't
want Muireann pecking it off
87
00:03:40,852 --> 00:03:42,212
and chewing on it.
88
00:03:42,213 --> 00:03:44,125
[MOBILE RINGS]
89
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,559
Oh, it's Mum.
90
00:03:49,775 --> 00:03:51,172
Hello.
91
00:03:51,173 --> 00:03:52,972
[GROANING]
92
00:03:52,973 --> 00:03:54,092
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
93
00:03:54,093 --> 00:03:55,213
Don't come in.
94
00:03:55,238 --> 00:03:56,412
Did you not see the
sock on the door knob?
95
00:03:56,413 --> 00:03:57,892
For fuck's sake!
96
00:03:58,353 --> 00:04:00,628
Look, it's a normal
thing that people do, OK?
97
00:04:00,653 --> 00:04:02,869
- Relax.
- Dad had a stroke.
98
00:04:03,752 --> 00:04:05,057
What?
99
00:04:05,082 --> 00:04:06,695
On the plane...
100
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,259
on the way home.
101
00:04:08,284 --> 00:04:10,181
Fucking Ryanair!
102
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,012
Oh, that's what that is.
103
00:04:19,013 --> 00:04:21,002
We were wondering what
that was on your...
104
00:04:21,027 --> 00:04:23,532
- Sorry to hear about your dad.
- Oh, thanks.
105
00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,783
Thanks for doing this. I've got
to head over there and Rob...
106
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:27,612
Did you know him well?
107
00:04:27,798 --> 00:04:30,086
My dad? Yeah, yeah...
108
00:04:30,111 --> 00:04:32,203
- So you're going to Ireland now?
- Yeah, because...
109
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:34,228
Yeah, they do it pretty
quickly over there, don't they?
110
00:04:34,253 --> 00:04:35,612
My Irish cousin, Maeve, she died,
111
00:04:35,613 --> 00:04:37,721
and you know how you
lot do the open casket?
112
00:04:37,746 --> 00:04:39,588
- I do, yeah.
- Yeah, well, she was still warm,
113
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,063
and I thought it was because...
114
00:04:41,088 --> 00:04:42,985
she was beside the
radiator but, you know,
115
00:04:43,010 --> 00:04:44,580
I touched it and it wasn't even on.
116
00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:49,431
Well, my dad's not dead...
he just had a stroke.
117
00:04:49,597 --> 00:04:51,436
Oh, great.
118
00:04:51,461 --> 00:04:53,020
Well, have a nice trip then.
119
00:04:57,973 --> 00:04:59,760
Oh, hey, Margaret.
120
00:04:59,785 --> 00:05:01,134
That's a nice blouse.
121
00:05:01,174 --> 00:05:04,142
- I would buy that for my wife.
- Pardon?
122
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:07,345
And, Tina, I also like your blazer...
123
00:05:07,370 --> 00:05:08,689
for my wife.
124
00:05:18,213 --> 00:05:20,221
- Top cupboard.
- Sorry?
125
00:05:20,246 --> 00:05:22,275
If you're looking for coffee
pouches, they're in the top cupboard.
126
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:24,092
- Thanks.
- Oh, and they're all good.
127
00:05:24,093 --> 00:05:26,012
I took the decaf packets
and threw them away.
128
00:05:26,013 --> 00:05:28,292
- Not on my watch.
- Strong move, my man.
129
00:05:28,293 --> 00:05:30,213
- Rafe Bales.
- Rob Norris.
130
00:05:30,214 --> 00:05:32,348
Yeah, I know. I started a few weeks ago,
131
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,432
I guess while you were
teaching your course at McGill
132
00:05:34,457 --> 00:05:36,028
school of business.
133
00:05:36,053 --> 00:05:38,412
- Sure. How are you finding it?
- Good.
134
00:05:38,413 --> 00:05:41,132
I mean, it's a good company, good folks.
135
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:43,132
- Tacos on the roof.
- Tacos on the roof?
136
00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:45,228
Yeah, they do tacos on
the roof now on Fridays.
137
00:05:45,253 --> 00:05:47,166
- It's awesome.
- Do you like tacos?
138
00:05:47,191 --> 00:05:48,812
Do I look like I like tacos?
139
00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:51,252
You look like you enjoy a
taco from time to time, yeah.
140
00:05:51,253 --> 00:05:53,572
- You'd better believe I do.
- Well, I'll see you up there then.
141
00:05:53,573 --> 00:05:56,665
I'll just finish making my coffee,
and then I will see you up there.
142
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,197
- On Friday.
- That's what I meant.
143
00:05:58,222 --> 00:06:00,033
- OK.
- All right.
144
00:06:00,813 --> 00:06:03,148
Of course, the real issue is that
the ambulance from the airport
145
00:06:03,173 --> 00:06:05,212
got caught up in the
rugby match traffic.
146
00:06:05,213 --> 00:06:07,452
It was an exhibition match,
you know, France, Ireland,
147
00:06:07,453 --> 00:06:09,111
so it was a pretty hot
ticket, to say the least.
148
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,924
And that was at the same
time as the Ed Sheeran gig
149
00:06:10,949 --> 00:06:13,150
was getting out of the
ROS Arena so, you know...
150
00:06:13,175 --> 00:06:16,181
Traffic-wise he couldn't
have picked a worse time to...
151
00:06:16,253 --> 00:06:19,892
But... anyway, luckily, it
wasn't that big of a stroke.
152
00:06:19,893 --> 00:06:22,052
But, because of his stroke last year...
153
00:06:22,053 --> 00:06:23,494
What stroke last year?
154
00:06:23,519 --> 00:06:24,932
His stroke was two days ago.
155
00:06:24,933 --> 00:06:27,172
No, no, no, no, the first stroke.
156
00:06:27,197 --> 00:06:28,635
The dementia you've spoken about
157
00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:30,728
is almost certainly a consequence
of the stroke he had last year.
158
00:06:30,753 --> 00:06:33,492
- What, this was his second stroke?
- Yes.
159
00:06:33,603 --> 00:06:36,052
Oh, great. Oh, well, that's great.
160
00:06:36,053 --> 00:06:37,924
Well, he didn't want to make a fuss,
161
00:06:37,949 --> 00:06:39,562
and it wasn't a big one.
162
00:06:39,587 --> 00:06:41,648
It's not a fuss. He's my dad.
163
00:06:41,673 --> 00:06:43,532
We need to know if our
father's had a stroke.
164
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,564
You... you're so secretive.
165
00:06:45,589 --> 00:06:47,969
- What the hell?!
- And what about you?
166
00:06:47,994 --> 00:06:49,197
What do you mean, "What about me?"
167
00:06:49,222 --> 00:06:50,732
Well, you're hardly an open book.
168
00:06:50,757 --> 00:06:53,119
You kept the fact that you were
seeing that Sinn Fein councillor quiet
169
00:06:53,144 --> 00:06:54,603
- for a long time.
- What?
170
00:06:54,628 --> 00:06:56,314
I was 18 and he wasn't a Sinn Fein...
171
00:06:56,339 --> 00:06:59,538
I'm just saying you're a
bit of a dark horse yourself.
172
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:01,338
Jesus. Mum,
173
00:07:01,363 --> 00:07:03,446
even medically I need
to know, let alone...
174
00:07:03,471 --> 00:07:04,922
You know Dad and I share genes?
175
00:07:04,947 --> 00:07:06,095
I mean, you don't need
to worry because...
176
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,519
- I don't need to worry?!
- No, I don't mean...
177
00:07:08,544 --> 00:07:10,111
Look, I need to know...
178
00:07:10,136 --> 00:07:11,927
if I'm going to keel over
and have a stroke one day
179
00:07:11,952 --> 00:07:14,828
when I'm reading Frankie
the fucking Gruffalo.
180
00:07:14,853 --> 00:07:17,103
- Strokes aren't hereditary.
- Oh, shut up, Fergal.
181
00:07:17,128 --> 00:07:19,736
- No, no, he's correct.
- Oh, and you would...
182
00:07:20,561 --> 00:07:21,861
OK.
183
00:07:22,056 --> 00:07:23,283
Thanks.
184
00:07:26,251 --> 00:07:28,439
Honey, you're home.
185
00:07:28,464 --> 00:07:30,306
Yeah, what's up?
186
00:07:30,331 --> 00:07:32,869
Well, Fran told me about Sharon's dad,
187
00:07:32,894 --> 00:07:34,915
and her going to Ireland
and leaving you all alone,
188
00:07:34,947 --> 00:07:37,720
so I thought I'd check in, make
sure you hadn't gone full Winehouse.
189
00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:38,984
Look, Chris, I don't need...
190
00:07:39,009 --> 00:07:41,168
You told me more than once
you had a problem with booze.
191
00:07:41,227 --> 00:07:43,064
And when somebody tells you
something about themselves,
192
00:07:43,119 --> 00:07:45,306
I've learned it's a good idea to listen.
193
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,760
Look, there's a spectrum that...
194
00:07:47,785 --> 00:07:49,744
- we're all on...
- A spectrum?
195
00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,017
Christ! I haven't drunk today.
196
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:53,469
- Do you want to smell my breath?
- No.
197
00:07:53,494 --> 00:07:55,939
- Do you want to smell my balls?
- No.
198
00:07:55,964 --> 00:07:57,722
But let me make you a cup of tea.
199
00:07:57,747 --> 00:08:00,650
No, thank you, I have
miles to go before I sleep.
200
00:08:04,175 --> 00:08:05,752
I like your tattoo. What is it?
201
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:07,361
It's a female panther.
202
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:11,345
- I like your jacket.
- All right, let's go in.
203
00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:19,906
I should have known when he
said he could smell strawberries.
204
00:08:19,907 --> 00:08:21,461
Fresh fruit on Ryanair?
205
00:08:21,486 --> 00:08:23,506
- That'll never happen.
- Some chance.
206
00:08:23,507 --> 00:08:25,429
They didn't even make an announcement.
207
00:08:25,454 --> 00:08:28,466
But credit to Des, he
did stroke quite quietly.
208
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,879
He doesn't like to make a fuss.
209
00:08:29,904 --> 00:08:31,121
When Harry had his stroke
210
00:08:31,122 --> 00:08:34,440
he knocked over a display pyramid
of Pepsi Max in the supermarket.
211
00:08:34,465 --> 00:08:36,666
Well, there's no good place to have one.
212
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:39,586
- You still in your mam's place?
- Yeah. God...
213
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,106
Grimsville, Idaho.
214
00:08:41,107 --> 00:08:43,706
But, still, it's only a Dart
and two buses to see the girls.
215
00:08:43,707 --> 00:08:44,879
Yeah.
216
00:08:44,904 --> 00:08:46,910
God, Fergal's looking well, isn't he?
217
00:08:46,935 --> 00:08:48,754
I found this. Look.
218
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:51,067
Where's that from?
219
00:08:51,092 --> 00:08:54,246
Oh, Sharon used to be a flight
attendant for Retarded Slut Airlines.
220
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,824
It's the Saint Mary Step's ball.
221
00:08:56,849 --> 00:08:58,418
Look at the state of you.
222
00:08:58,727 --> 00:09:01,096
How are you, Fergal? I haven't
seen you since the wedding.
223
00:09:01,121 --> 00:09:03,222
Yeah, all right. You still with Harry?
224
00:09:03,278 --> 00:09:05,317
Oh, God, no. No, I left
him left him when he hit me.
225
00:09:05,318 --> 00:09:06,730
What? You never told me that.
226
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,410
- He hit you?
- Yeah.
227
00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:11,050
I mean, he hit me with
the thing he threw at me.
228
00:09:11,215 --> 00:09:13,955
Threw his iPod shuffle
at me. So I just left.
229
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:17,037
Left all my stuff and I just walked
out in the middle of the night.
230
00:09:17,038 --> 00:09:18,477
Well, I mean, that's great...
231
00:09:18,478 --> 00:09:20,566
Well, actually, I went back the
next night to get my purse...
232
00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:23,613
- Oh, no, of course. Sure.
- ... and to sink his boat.
233
00:09:25,003 --> 00:09:26,707
I sank his boat.
234
00:09:29,419 --> 00:09:31,173
Are you still married?
235
00:09:31,198 --> 00:09:33,224
I just remembered I left a
joint under the floorboard
236
00:09:33,256 --> 00:09:35,279
of my bedroom 20 years ago.
237
00:09:35,670 --> 00:09:37,670
Well, what are we doing down here?
238
00:09:42,118 --> 00:09:44,295
You OK? Do you want a cup of tea?
239
00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,084
Oh, are you talking to me now?
240
00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:49,410
Mum, I was never not
talking to you. I was just...
241
00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:51,733
not... looking at you.
242
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,621
I'm going to check on your father.
243
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:00,506
Fergal's looking well.
244
00:10:01,123 --> 00:10:02,303
Thank you.
245
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,064
Hi, again.
246
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,149
Man, you ought to shut me off,
247
00:10:23,174 --> 00:10:25,565
or there won't be any carne
asada left for anybody else.
248
00:10:25,590 --> 00:10:27,627
That's a real possibility.
249
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:31,749
- You can't beat this.
- You really can't.
250
00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:34,429
It cost about ?600 a
week to do, but in fact,
251
00:10:34,454 --> 00:10:36,877
this is the type of shit that
makes your employees hang around
252
00:10:36,908 --> 00:10:38,989
two to three months longer on average,
253
00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:41,629
which can save a company tens
of thousands over a fiscal year
254
00:10:41,630 --> 00:10:43,744
in training and recruitment fees.
255
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:46,486
Also, people like tacos.
256
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,056
How many tacos have you had?
257
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,937
- Oh, actually, I don't...
- Cheers.
258
00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,349
Thanks.
259
00:11:07,772 --> 00:11:09,051
Hey.
260
00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:12,421
Hey.
261
00:11:14,070 --> 00:11:16,509
Chris. Remember me?
262
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:19,232
I'm still legally married
to your girlfriend.
263
00:11:19,257 --> 00:11:21,164
Yeah, I remember you. You want a beer?
264
00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,484
No, thank you.
265
00:11:22,509 --> 00:11:24,869
I just thought we
should have a little chat
266
00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:27,390
because you're spending a fair
amount of time in my house,
267
00:11:27,415 --> 00:11:30,890
with my son, and I don't care for it.
268
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,453
- Really.
- Yeah.
269
00:11:34,054 --> 00:11:35,749
I'm not wild about you.
270
00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:37,989
I suppose you could say I wish you ill.
271
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:40,009
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
272
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,909
Now, look, you have choices.
273
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,947
The good news is that
you're at a fork in the road.
274
00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:50,349
One path, the one I'd recommend,
could lead to any number of places,
275
00:11:50,350 --> 00:11:52,470
some lovely, some peaceful.
276
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:55,181
- There you go.
- Thank you so much!
277
00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:58,403
The other path is a bad path.
278
00:11:58,990 --> 00:12:01,029
If you were to choose this path,
279
00:12:01,030 --> 00:12:04,549
you'd better hope the next person
to walk it is a forensic dentist,
280
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:06,509
so they can identify your fucking skull
281
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:09,617
and your mother has something
to bury in the family plot.
282
00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:21,029
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
283
00:12:21,030 --> 00:12:22,913
Och aye the noo.
284
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,542
What are you going to do?
285
00:12:24,567 --> 00:12:26,693
Bring along a little
stepladder, climb up on it,
286
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:28,669
and punch me in the tits to death?
287
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:30,869
And you can save me the Braveheart shit.
288
00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:32,789
Consider your goal achieved.
289
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,709
Some nut job ex interrupting
my chicken Caesar wrap?
290
00:12:35,710 --> 00:12:37,416
Fuck that noise.
291
00:12:38,387 --> 00:12:40,635
I was going to dump her anyway.
292
00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:42,869
Now I don't even have to do that.
293
00:12:43,863 --> 00:12:45,684
Leave Shelly a nice tip.
294
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:48,161
She's my favourite bartender.
295
00:13:29,461 --> 00:13:31,117
_
296
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:33,616
Oh, Dad!
297
00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:46,733
Where's my fucking...?
298
00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:57,681
Why didn't I get a fucking letter?
299
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:03,229
That's Mike. He's 28
and he's got four kids.
300
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:05,189
I think he's like Amish or Mormon
301
00:14:05,214 --> 00:14:07,072
- or whichever one of those does that.
- Yeah.
302
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:09,619
- What's her name?
- That's Tina.
303
00:14:09,644 --> 00:14:11,469
How much do think she weighs?
304
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:12,589
I don't know.
305
00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,931
7O lbs less than me.
306
00:14:15,790 --> 00:14:17,752
OK, so say there's a
nuclear attack, right?
307
00:14:17,777 --> 00:14:20,416
And everyone's dropped
dead except you and Harita.
308
00:14:20,441 --> 00:14:22,892
- How long before you'd fuck her?
- I mean, that would be up to her,
309
00:14:22,917 --> 00:14:24,516
because I would never...
310
00:14:24,541 --> 00:14:27,445
And first off, did my wife get
killed in this nuclear attack?
311
00:14:27,470 --> 00:14:29,752
Because if she wasn't dead,
I'd go and try and save her.
312
00:14:29,777 --> 00:14:31,709
No, no, no, your family are
dead. They died instantly.
313
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:33,337
They were vaporised. It's painless.
314
00:14:33,362 --> 00:14:35,869
Then I wouldn't be
horny, because I'd be sad.
315
00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:37,767
Oh, all right, Morrissey.
316
00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:39,749
- Fat Morrissey!
- Oh, Jesus.
317
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:42,189
Come on, man. Fuck, I'm not that fat.
318
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:44,017
It's about the third thing
you'd notice about me.
319
00:14:44,042 --> 00:14:45,789
I mean, first, I'm tall.
320
00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:48,109
Second, I'm very
friendly, and then maybe
321
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:50,309
you'd notice that I'm
slightly overweight.
322
00:14:50,310 --> 00:14:52,109
[HE LAUGHS] Slightly!
323
00:14:55,844 --> 00:14:59,197
So, what's it's been like
coming back after, you know...?
324
00:14:59,884 --> 00:15:01,385
After Canada?
325
00:15:01,410 --> 00:15:04,002
After you got busted for trying to
bang that French girl in the office.
326
00:15:04,259 --> 00:15:05,570
I didn't do anything like that.
327
00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:06,703
- And how do you...?
- Oh, no.
328
00:15:06,728 --> 00:15:08,767
Everyone here knows you got
suspended for sexual misconduct.
329
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:11,631
It was a fucking
mutually-agreed leave of absence
330
00:15:11,666 --> 00:15:13,424
and a misunderstanding, all right?
331
00:15:13,449 --> 00:15:14,469
Keep your voice down.
332
00:15:14,470 --> 00:15:16,709
Bobby, the cat's out of
the bag on this one, mate.
333
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:18,549
You might as well make lemonade.
334
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:20,189
[HE LAUGHS]
335
00:15:20,190 --> 00:15:22,309
No? Where are you going?
336
00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,517
I've got going to let
the baby-sitter go.
337
00:15:25,978 --> 00:15:29,009
I'd wait half an hour
before I fucked Harita!
338
00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:53,375
This happens all the time.
339
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,869
I mean, I get looked over every time.
340
00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:58,389
I'm a good daughter. I
send Father's Day cards.
341
00:15:58,390 --> 00:15:59,904
I buy the birthday presents.
342
00:15:59,929 --> 00:16:01,749
Do you know how he knows
when your birthday is?
343
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,218
Because I fucking tell him.
344
00:16:03,243 --> 00:16:05,264
I'm the oldest child.
I'm the first-born.
345
00:16:05,289 --> 00:16:07,436
Dad's known me four more
years than he's known Fergal.
346
00:16:07,461 --> 00:16:08,620
Maybe he was writing yours
347
00:16:08,621 --> 00:16:10,234
and then he had a stroke
in the middle of it.
348
00:16:10,274 --> 00:16:12,473
Yeah, maybe. But why
did he write yours first?
349
00:16:12,474 --> 00:16:13,859
My letter should have come first.
350
00:16:13,884 --> 00:16:16,363
What if the last letter Dad
ever writes is to Fergal?
351
00:16:16,388 --> 00:16:18,067
- You're being ridiculous.
- No, I'm not.
352
00:16:18,092 --> 00:16:20,953
What's ridiculous is this family
not acknowledging the truth.
353
00:16:20,954 --> 00:16:22,813
Mum, what I think Sharon
is trying to say is...
354
00:16:22,838 --> 00:16:23,844
we can't handle the truth.
355
00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:26,156
- Oh, fuck off, Fergal.
- No, you calm down.
356
00:16:26,181 --> 00:16:28,654
I am calm, but this is bullshit.
357
00:16:28,679 --> 00:16:30,193
Do you know how it feels
to play second fiddle
358
00:16:30,194 --> 00:16:31,772
- to that prick all my life?
- Hang on...
359
00:16:31,797 --> 00:16:33,753
Do you have any idea what
that does to your confidence?
360
00:16:33,754 --> 00:16:35,913
Do you know how many terrible
men I've had to sleep with
361
00:16:35,914 --> 00:16:38,033
because Dad loves that
asshole more than me?
362
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:40,156
Not... not many, actually,
363
00:16:40,181 --> 00:16:42,193
but, you know, this is really upsetting.
364
00:16:42,194 --> 00:16:43,890
I'm really upset.
365
00:16:44,934 --> 00:16:46,453
And where's all the...?
366
00:16:46,478 --> 00:16:48,517
Where's all the photos
of me and my kids?
367
00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,981
There's just Fergal's everywhere.
368
00:16:50,006 --> 00:16:51,172
It's Fergal, Fergal, Fergal.
369
00:16:51,197 --> 00:16:52,850
It's like a fucking
Fergal shrine in here.
370
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:55,553
My hand's in that photo and that's it.
371
00:16:55,554 --> 00:16:57,930
Actually, I don't think that is your
hand. You weren't there that day.
372
00:16:57,955 --> 00:16:59,687
You don't send me any photos.
373
00:16:59,712 --> 00:17:03,390
Mum, I constantly e-mail you
photos of me and the kids.
374
00:17:03,461 --> 00:17:05,273
What am I supposed to do with those?
375
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,033
Fergal sends me
photographs already framed.
376
00:17:08,034 --> 00:17:09,523
What?
377
00:17:09,597 --> 00:17:11,676
Oh, my God. You're a psychopath.
378
00:17:11,701 --> 00:17:15,060
You don't send a 65-year-old
with dial-up a bunch of JPEGs.
379
00:17:15,085 --> 00:17:18,328
That's like asking a fucking
haddock to do a suduki.
380
00:17:18,344 --> 00:17:20,063
Sudoku. Whatever the fuck.
381
00:17:20,064 --> 00:17:21,593
Is it because he's the son?
382
00:17:21,618 --> 00:17:23,103
Does that make him more important?
383
00:17:23,104 --> 00:17:24,984
I'm going to let you get
this out of your system
384
00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:26,343
and go and check on Des.
385
00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,903
Or is it because he embezzled
money from my husband?
386
00:17:28,904 --> 00:17:30,823
Rob lent me money and
I'm paying him back.
387
00:17:30,824 --> 00:17:33,787
Or is it because you're
so proud of his bags
388
00:17:33,812 --> 00:17:35,497
since his actual business went under?
389
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,000
Or is it because he left his wife
390
00:17:37,025 --> 00:17:39,062
because he's scared of Spain?
391
00:17:39,087 --> 00:17:40,593
Mum, I didn't tell
you about the business
392
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:42,351
because I didn't want
you to worry about me.
393
00:17:42,376 --> 00:17:43,815
I want you to be proud of me.
394
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,109
I told Sharon because I
don't care what she thinks.
395
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:49,114
And that stuff about Mallandra,
I mean, that was just...
396
00:17:49,115 --> 00:17:50,834
I didn't mean any of that, you know?
397
00:17:50,835 --> 00:17:52,914
Dad getting sick has changed everything.
398
00:17:52,915 --> 00:17:54,523
I'm going back to Spain.
399
00:17:54,548 --> 00:17:57,107
I just want to sell man
bags and be a good dad.
400
00:18:00,631 --> 00:18:02,750
Well, it's all out in the open now.
401
00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:04,779
I am proud of you.
402
00:18:04,804 --> 00:18:07,079
I always will be.
403
00:18:09,286 --> 00:18:12,243
He's got drugs hidden under
the floorboards in his bedroom.
404
00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:24,714
Sorry I'm late.
405
00:18:26,655 --> 00:18:28,235
Do you have my wallet?
406
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:29,571
No.
407
00:18:35,891 --> 00:18:37,118
I have it.
408
00:18:42,870 --> 00:18:43,887
You're giving me...
409
00:18:43,912 --> 00:18:45,590
- you've given me too much.
- Mm.
410
00:18:46,784 --> 00:18:48,511
- You all right?
- No.
411
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:50,703
- I'm going to throw up.
- Don't lie down.
412
00:18:50,704 --> 00:18:55,063
It's fine. I'm just going to
relax a little bit and do it later.
413
00:18:55,064 --> 00:18:56,878
Do you still need me tomorrow?
414
00:18:58,409 --> 00:18:59,543
Rob?
415
00:18:59,568 --> 00:19:01,783
Did you make pancakes?
416
00:19:01,784 --> 00:19:04,703
Smells, like, fucking good.
417
00:19:04,704 --> 00:19:06,128
No.
418
00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:07,863
Look, Muireann's not long gone to sleep,
419
00:19:07,864 --> 00:19:09,792
so just keep an ear out, yeah?
420
00:19:13,246 --> 00:19:15,045
[BABY CRIES]
421
00:19:28,904 --> 00:19:30,277
[SHE SIGHS]
422
00:20:09,704 --> 00:20:12,703
Don't worry, you slept there,
I slept in Muireann's room.
423
00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:14,709
Right, so the money you
overpaid me last night
424
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:16,703
just about covers me staying over.
425
00:20:16,728 --> 00:20:18,053
I'll see you later.
426
00:20:20,424 --> 00:20:22,167
You should have a shower
427
00:20:22,192 --> 00:20:24,356
or walk through a car wash or summit.
428
00:20:24,381 --> 00:20:26,166
You really smell.
429
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:30,263
[HE SNIFFS]
430
00:20:39,424 --> 00:20:40,890
Do you want a cup of tea?
431
00:20:42,864 --> 00:20:45,242
Great. I'll have one too.
432
00:21:12,944 --> 00:21:14,455
I'm sorry.
433
00:21:28,338 --> 00:21:29,991
[KNOCKING]
434
00:21:34,702 --> 00:21:36,423
How do you know where I live?
435
00:21:36,424 --> 00:21:38,456
I've dropped you off
here, like, 25 times.
436
00:21:38,481 --> 00:21:41,183
All right, fair enough.
What do you want?
437
00:21:41,184 --> 00:21:43,943
You left these in
Muireann's room last night.
438
00:21:43,944 --> 00:21:45,292
All right.
439
00:21:45,544 --> 00:21:46,840
- Thanks.
- Listen,
440
00:21:46,865 --> 00:21:49,253
I'm really sorry about last night.
441
00:21:49,278 --> 00:21:52,318
And I'm not telling you
not to tell Sharon...
442
00:21:52,343 --> 00:21:53,983
I ain't telling Sharon.
443
00:21:53,984 --> 00:21:55,759
You think she fucking
won't kill the messenger?
444
00:21:55,784 --> 00:21:57,009
Right.
445
00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,959
And, look, um, this isn't a bribe, um,
446
00:22:00,984 --> 00:22:05,205
or a payoff, it's just a
way to say thank you for...
447
00:22:05,355 --> 00:22:09,154
I mean, what you did last night was...
448
00:22:09,672 --> 00:22:12,698
I mean, I always thought
you were a fine baby-sitter,
449
00:22:12,723 --> 00:22:13,759
but now I know.
450
00:22:13,784 --> 00:22:15,463
I can't feel sorry for you.
451
00:22:15,464 --> 00:22:17,549
You know I missed a date
cos of you last night?
452
00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,275
_
453
00:22:19,464 --> 00:22:22,236
Oh! I'm really sorry.
454
00:22:22,681 --> 00:22:24,509
I mean, you can always go
around there now, maybe?
455
00:22:24,534 --> 00:22:25,752
Can I?
456
00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:27,854
Or do you think his
girlfriend's around there now?
457
00:22:28,464 --> 00:22:29,864
I'm sorry.
458
00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:31,874
I...
459
00:22:58,233 --> 00:22:59,552
Daddy?
460
00:23:05,409 --> 00:23:06,733
[KNOCKING]
461
00:23:10,824 --> 00:23:12,094
I need help.
462
00:23:12,275 --> 00:23:13,800
How did you know?
463
00:23:14,504 --> 00:23:15,900
How did I know what?
464
00:23:16,474 --> 00:23:17,946
He's dead.
465
00:23:18,599 --> 00:23:19,658
He died.
466
00:23:19,683 --> 00:23:20,903
Fergal?!
467
00:23:20,904 --> 00:23:22,079
Dad.
468
00:23:23,304 --> 00:23:24,572
My dad.
469
00:23:24,983 --> 00:23:26,568
Oh, Christ.
470
00:23:26,944 --> 00:23:28,280
Oh, honey.
471
00:23:31,715 --> 00:23:34,714
MUSIC: Catastrophe Theme by Oli Julian
472
00:23:34,739 --> 00:23:38,790
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb
www.addic7ed.com
473
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:43,390
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