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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:03,090 [Dog barks in distance] 2 00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:04,787 [Nicole clears throat, bottle clinks] 3 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:09,270 [Indistinct conversations] 4 00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:11,576 Hey. 5 00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,187 You have chlamydia. 6 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,405 What? 7 00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:15,972 I said, "You have chlamydia." 8 00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,539 How do you know? 9 00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:20,455 Because you rawdogged me. And I have chlamydia. 10 00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,719 Excellent. 11 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,983 [Grunts] Your place is kind of gross. 12 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,030 Well, gee, I'm -- I'm real embarrassed about that, 13 00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,162 uh, woman who just gave me chlamydia. 14 00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,338 Normally, I have a surprisingly tidy, 15 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,687 young black man come in 16 00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,646 and clean up after me, but, um... 17 00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,343 [Smacks lips] 18 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,606 You know, I realize that just sounded like he was my servant. 19 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,739 He's not my servant. 20 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,741 Also just realized that it sounded like 21 00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,917 I'd be surprised that a black man was tidy. 22 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,788 You know, I think I'm at my most problematic 23 00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,007 before I've had my coffee. 24 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,922 Yeah. What are you talking about? 25 00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,881 [Toilet flushes in distance]That's a good question. [Sighs] 26 00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,840 My roommate recently moved out on me, 27 00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,929 and I'm still adjusting to that. 28 00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,279 You know? Doing pretty well overall. 29 00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:05,239 Did I shit over there in that corner? 30 00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,805 No. That was Rick. 31 00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,459 Oh. 32 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,157 Seems like a very nice young man. 33 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,769 Oh, you have syphilis. You're welcome. 34 00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,075 Maybe Rick does, too. 35 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,250 I don't remember every little thing 36 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,338 that happened here last night. 37 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,817 [Grunts] 38 00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,819 I think it's infected. 39 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,212 What? 40 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,388 That. Shit. 41 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,129 The hell is that? 42 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:30,786 It's two lizards 69ing each other. 43 00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,310 Well, that's less than ideal. 44 00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:34,311 Oh, boy. 45 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,923 Damn it. Man. 46 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:42,537 Oh. 47 00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:48,020 Does anyone know where this guy keeps his drugs? 48 00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:50,588 [Muffled, indistinct chatter] 49 00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:54,897 [Monitor beeping steadily] 50 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,812 Hey. Hi. 51 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:57,900 Oh, Mr. Brockmire. 52 00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,423 Oh, I hope you don't mind. 53 00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,643 My students were hoping to observe. 54 00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,602 It's not every day they get to see a case like this. 55 00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,995 What, you mean like a celebrity? 56 00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,301 Sure. 57 00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,303 Yeah, hey, more, the merrier, right? 58 00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,479 It might help us if you could just take us 59 00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,045 through the last few weeks. 60 00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,178 Well, best I can remember, 61 00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,137 I threw away my dream job, 62 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,529 and then I became the focal point 63 00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,836 for a national conversation about race. 64 00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,229 Oh, right. 65 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,926 Yeah. Yeah, I'm that guy. 66 00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,710 Just, you know, out of curiosity, 67 00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:28,496 how many of you are on my side in all that? 68 00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,542 Alright. One, two. 69 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,850 And how many of you are on that racist Art Newlie's side? 70 00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,636 Really?! Wow. 71 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,595 I mean, I know this is the South and everything, 72 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,206 but y'all, you're highly educated medical doctors. 73 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,208 You're not ashamed to admit that in public? 74 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,253 Well... 75 00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,906 Let's get back to you. 76 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:51,954 Well, I have definitely been in a cycle of blacking out 77 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,348 and waking up in very strange places lately. 78 00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,653 Recently came to 79 00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:58,221 at a strip club as it was closing. 80 00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,136 It wasn't late -- just the health inspector 81 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,877 had walked in and shut the place down. 82 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,096 After that, I remember waking up 83 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,143 next to a young lady with very few inhibitions 84 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,797 and quite a lot of chlamydia. 85 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,234 But, well, you probably know that, right? 86 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,714 You got my chart right there. 87 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:15,238 You -- You actually have two strains of chlamydia -- 88 00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,719 one on your penis and one in your throat. 89 00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:21,810 Is that what I'm tasting? Oh, Rick, you sneaky bastard. 90 00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,333 Well, you also have liver damage... 91 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,249 Ugh....blunt-force trauma, and scurvy, 92 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,251 which is actually why we're all here. 93 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,819 This is the only case we'll ever get to see 94 00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,124 outside of a textbook. 95 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,083 Scurvy, huh? 96 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,216 It's that why my -- my teeth are getting loose? 97 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:39,131 I was just hoping that my gums were getting more flexible. 98 00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:43,266 Well, I always have referred to orange juice 99 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:47,314 as a glass of vodka wasted, so, uh... 100 00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,446 I guess scurvy makes sense. 101 00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,666 [Telephone rings] 102 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,279 Can I talk to you a minute? 103 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,889 Yeah. 104 00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,717 So, what is your relationship with the patient? 105 00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,851 His, uh, ex-business partner. 106 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,113 You didn't have that on the thing, 107 00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,636 so I just wrote it in. 108 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,942 Don't worry. I'll make sure he gets home safe. 109 00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,073 No, no, no, no, no, no. 110 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,292 He shouldn't be going anywhere, 111 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,728 not in his condition. 112 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,556 What's wrong with him, exactly? 113 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,341 Honestly? Everything. 114 00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:17,082 His body is literally shutting down, 115 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:20,303 and if your friend does not stop drinking, and soon, 116 00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,478 your friend is gonna die. 117 00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,611 I should not have left him alone. 118 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,048 Okay. I'll take care of everything. 119 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,181 I'll make sure he does not leave my...sight. 120 00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,183 [Sighs] 121 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,055 Have you seen a bottle of champagne? 122 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,709 The old man next door swears that he brought it in 123 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,014 to celebrate his new grandson. 124 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,189 [P.A. system beeps] 125 00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,495 Man: Doctor on call, dial ER. 126 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:41,063 Doctor on call, dial ER. 127 00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:45,067 Well, I want to thank everyone for being here. 128 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:48,549 Jean, you have some experience with interventions 'cause... 129 00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,507 -Because I was a filthy drunk. 130 00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,509 It's okay. You can say it. 131 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,207 Nature and nurture both pushed me and Jim towards the bottle, 132 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,905 but now, I have the tools to help him. 133 00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:59,211 -What made you get sober, Jean? 134 00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,691 -At my intervention, 135 00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,563 when it was my husband Norm's turn to speak, 136 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,305 he said, "Stop, Jean, please." 137 00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:08,046 Now, Norm doesn't normally carry on like that, 138 00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,526 so it cut me to the bone. 139 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,615 I'm really nervous, you guys. 140 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:14,618 Jim is so good at turning an argument against you. 141 00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,054 -[Scoffs] -Word. -That's true. 142 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,056 I once apologized 143 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,450 for the skidmarks on his underwear. 144 00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:23,584 That's why I had each of you write a letter to read from, 145 00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,194 so it isn't a conversation. 146 00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:26,717 You get to say everything you need to. 147 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:30,242 Now, I suggest you start with an "I feel" sentence. 148 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,940 Okay, okay. 149 00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:35,509 I feel like there's a lot of love in this room right now. 150 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,077 No, start with something that's not quite that stupid. 151 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,340 Okay, guys. You know, it's almost 11:00. 152 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,471 We should really go. 153 00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,473 Actually, we shouldn't go anywhere. 154 00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:46,694 Three...two...one. 155 00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,783 [Door opens] 156 00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:51,002 Jack, my friend, give me a lunchtime special. 157 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,439 Why don't you make it a double? 158 00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,789 Throw it on the rocks -- little change of pace. 159 00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:56,181 Jim. 160 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,269 Charles. 161 00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,710 This is an intervention. 162 00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,887 Oh, Charles, you clever, little S.O.B. 163 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,324 My goodness. Look at you all. 164 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,457 Guess I'm trapped, huh? 165 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,763 No sense chewing off my own leg here. 166 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,112 [Chuckles] 167 00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,505 Who knows? 168 00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,464 Maybe the eighth time will be the charm. 169 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,251 [Chuckling] Oh, boy. Well, I got to say. 170 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:25,123 Seeing y'all come together like this, trying to save me 171 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:28,997 from the self-destructive spiral that I'm in, it's -- 172 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,128 I'm underwhelmed. 173 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,826 Oh, come on, Jim!Jim. 174 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,349 I'm just saying, when they throw 175 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,437 an intervention for you in the Philippines, 176 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,699 they put out a spread, you know? 177 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,093 Some adobo, a full pot of bulalo, 178 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,487 a couple of trays of pastillas de leche. 179 00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,923 Last intervention I was at, 180 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,794 they roasted a pig, an entire pig. 181 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,622 Hey, that takes eight hours. 182 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,668 You know, I came for the pig, I stayed for the intervention. 183 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,800 I mean, no, I had to at that point. 184 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,455 I was, uh -- I was pig-committed, as they say. 185 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,500 What have you guys got here? 186 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,501 Bagels. Okay. 187 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:55,893 'Cause, yeah, 188 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,329 that's what New Orleans is known for. 189 00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,592 Let me ask you a question. 190 00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,593 How the hell did Raj make the cut? 191 00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,464 I love you, too, bro. 192 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,467 Well, our biggest guest hasn't even made it yet. 193 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,208 Oh, boy.Charles: Look who's Skyping in. 194 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,383 What the hell is this? 195 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,820 Oh! Joe Buck, ladies and gentlemen. 196 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,605 Ta-da! Hey, everyone. 197 00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:12,910 Let's get Jim healthy. 198 00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,477 [Scoffs] 199 00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,174 Are you seriously not even remotely impressed? 200 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,437 Not even a little bit. 201 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,090 Joe Buck's schedule alone was a nightmare. 202 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,179 Joe Buck is not here, Charlie. You understand that? 203 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:24,226 It's just his gigantic head staring at me on the screen 204 00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,358 like the darkest version of "1984." 205 00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:30,406 Hey, I'm calling a senior LPGA skins game today, 206 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,496 but I carved out time for you 207 00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,890 because I care and... 208 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,501 Hold on. 209 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:42,026 And welcome back to French Lick Resort, 210 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:45,595 the jewel here in Southeastern Indiana 211 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:48,206 where dozens of silver-haired ladies 212 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,034 are duking it out...I'll find a way to mute Joe Buck in a second. 213 00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:51,514 Just --No, wait. I actually want to see this. 214 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,951 I got 200 bucks on Barb Moxness. 215 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,126 Come on, Jim. 216 00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,520 Take this seriously! 217 00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,740 We are all very worried about you. 218 00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:03,613 So sit your ass down, get ready to take a goddamn moral inventory, 219 00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,572 you ungrateful piece of shit. 220 00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:08,792 Ooh. You see why I can't stay, right? 221 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:09,880 Jim! 222 00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:14,450 All I ask is that you give this a try. 223 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,280 As a favor to you. 224 00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,760 You could literally die if you don't. 225 00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,370 Learn how to accept a favor, okay? 226 00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,545 Just -- Just -- Okay? 227 00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,155 Thank you. 228 00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,375 Gonna have a bagel. 229 00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,943 No cream cheese? Really? Are you kidding? 230 00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:32,860 Alright. I'll eat it dry. Tastes like a Nerf ball. 231 00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,601 [Sighs] 232 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,213 Lucy, you want to start us off? 233 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,084 [Sighing] Okay. 234 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,999 Hi, Jim. 235 00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,000 [Chuckles nervously] 236 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:46,569 This is really hard. 237 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:49,529 I'm here today to say I love you. 238 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,705 Well, thank you, Lucy. 239 00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:54,577 You know, I-I hear that, and-- and I accept it. 240 00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,710 That means a lot to me. 241 00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,407 But I also came here to tell you 242 00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,409 how your drinking has hurt me in the following ways. 243 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,630 Nope. I hurt you? Excuse me. I hurt you?Are you kidding me? 244 00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,370 'Cause you know what hurt me? 245 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,416 No, when you were dildo-deep in our neighbor's asshole. 246 00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,723 Jim!Little too much? I do apologize. 247 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,551 I'm sorry. Intervene away. 248 00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:14,771 We would end up at the stripper's houseboat 249 00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,426 drinking mezcal from her shoe. 250 00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,560 [Chuckles] It was the best night of my life! 251 00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,562 [Laughs] 252 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:28,263 Uh, I think Uribe did this wrong. 253 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,786 [Scoffs] 254 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:36,184 3,426 days -- that's how long I've been sober. 255 00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:39,840 Each day is just as hard as the last, maybe harder. 256 00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,277 Every day, a part of me wants to drink again. 257 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,845 Every morning, I wake up and I wonder, 258 00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,587 "Today, will I embrace step seven 259 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:50,894 and ask for help to overcome my shortcomings, 260 00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,680 or will I kiss my miserable children goodbye, 261 00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:56,247 lock myself in the garage, and take down 40 ounces 262 00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,772 of drug-store vodka before lunch?" 263 00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,644 ♪♪ 264 00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,342 I can almost taste it. 265 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,476 ♪♪ 266 00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,565 Hey, guys. I hope you don't mind. 267 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,741 I had them put mine in teleprompter. 268 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:15,658 Eye contact is how I tend to connect with my audience. 269 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,268 Jim, I thought it only appropriate 270 00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:20,184 to start with a quote by the great Maya Angelou. 271 00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:22,578 "Love recognizes no barriers. 272 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,232 It jumps hurdles, 273 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,581 it leaps fence--" 274 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,452 Anybody object to me putting a bullet 275 00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,367 in the head of whatever the hell that was about to be? 276 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,455 Together: No. 277 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,370 Jim, you've been a mentor, 278 00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:36,418 a hero, a rival, a friend. 279 00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:39,900 But through it all, there's been one thing 280 00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:43,947 that I have really, really wanted to say to you. 281 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,384 ♪♪ 282 00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,560 Milwaukee just hired me. 283 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,693 [Paper rustles] 284 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:55,655 Fuck you, you goddamn vampire, 285 00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,526 you wrinkly has-been! 286 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,137 I'm a Major League broadcaster!" 287 00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,531 [Growls] 288 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:10,670 [Laughs] 289 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,150 [Laughs] Hey? 290 00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,675 Holy shit, that's a good bit. 291 00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,285 Damn it, Raj.Yes. Yes. 292 00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,548 [Chuckling] I didn't know you had that in you. 293 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,984 Oh, man. Look at that. 294 00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,117 You did win me over in the end. Good for you. 295 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,120 I told you I would. I wasn't sure, but we just did it. 296 00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,643 Don't change, Jim. 297 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,036 Good luck in Milwaukee. 298 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,646 So, that's it?Huh? 299 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,169 Well, that was -- that was your whole thing? 300 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,563 Yeah, yep. That's pretty much all I got. 301 00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:35,869 Hey. 302 00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,262 Jean: And now our father's in the ground. 303 00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,524 He's dead. 304 00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,352 I've been thinking a lot about that. 305 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:44,225 Not because I miss him. I don't. He was a prick. 306 00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:48,403 But because [Sighs] now I know what it would feel like 307 00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:51,319 to bury someone I did care about. 308 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:54,496 Someone like you. 309 00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,368 And I'm not ready for that yet. 310 00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:01,111 ♪♪ 311 00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:05,768 Uribe parties because he love life. 312 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,901 You do it because you hate it. 313 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,859 ♪♪ 314 00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:13,384 I think part of you is happy I cheated on you 315 00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,778 because now, you don't have to hide it. 316 00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:21,436 You get a free pass to drink as much as you want forever. 317 00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,265 But I'm asking you not to, Jim. 318 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,876 ♪♪ 319 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,445 You just... 320 00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:34,188 You just came back into my life, 321 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,364 and I don't want to lose you again. 322 00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:53,337 Look, I know this is hard to hear, but it's important. 323 00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,515 [Slurping] Wait a minute. 324 00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,039 Are you -- 325 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,388 Are you drinking right now?! 326 00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,825 Now, don't make this a thing, alright? 327 00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,523 Oh, my God. We should have known. 328 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:09,310 How could you drink at your own intervention? 329 00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,964 Well, if you didn't want me to drink, 330 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,096 you shouldn't have held my intervention in a bar. 331 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,142 Although, to be fair, if I couldn't drink, 332 00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,274 there's no way I would have stayed for this, 333 00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,320 so good call holding it in a bar, Charles. 334 00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,017 In fact, I could use another round. 335 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,149 Who's with me here? 336 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,803 No! No! No more drinking. 337 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,196 Then can we at least skip the lame opening acts 338 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,546 and get right to the main attraction, please? 339 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,113 See, Charles knows the only shot in hell 340 00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,723 that this has of actually working 341 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,943 is if he brings in Jules as a surprise closer, 342 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,815 so can we bring her out? 343 00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,121 Jules? Hello? Help me! 344 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,209 Jules isn't here. 345 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,256 I invited her, told her to come down. 346 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:45,346 She said no, said it wasn't gonna work. 347 00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:46,564 -Well -- -Apparently she was right. 348 00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,218 Yeah, well, what'd you expect? 349 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,872 You brought me into a room full of addicts, Charles. 350 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,352 I mean -- -We're not addicts. 351 00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,919 Oh, really? 352 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,746 What if I told you you, uh, couldn't have sex again? 353 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,400 Today? 354 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,749 I guess -- I guess that would be hard. 355 00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,186 Yeah, I guess. 356 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,578 Look, we all have our own little coping mechanisms 357 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,884 to get through 358 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,799 this charnel house called life, alright? 359 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,063 Lucy has to have sex with every single person that she meets. 360 00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,065 Pedro staves off oblivion 361 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,459 through constant and relentless procreation. 362 00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,113 Oye, papi, that's a stretch, okay? 363 00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,114 You have 14 children. 364 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,855 And hopefully, 15, okay, 365 00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:18,292 because Uribe has been painting Polly's uterine wall 366 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,946 with at least three coats a day, papi. 367 00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,035 Jim, nobody's perfect. 368 00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:23,950 That's why step 10 has us continually taking -- 369 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,778 You're addicted to the 12 steps! You understand that? 370 00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,824 Course I am, you arrogant prick. 371 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,304 That's how they work. 372 00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:31,348 [Scoffs] 373 00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,872 Raj, hi. Raj. 374 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,351 He's so desperate 375 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,919 to please every, single person that he meets 376 00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,616 that despite being a very polite man, 377 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,705 he just flipped me off at my own intervention 378 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,925 because he thought that I might find it amusing. 379 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,231 But you did like it, though, right? 380 00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,623 Yeah, it was great. 381 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,495 Joe Buck, if he were here, I would tell him 382 00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,932 that he has to say yes to every single gig that he is offered 383 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,891 because God forbid the man should be alone 384 00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,588 with his own thoughts for a second and a half. 385 00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:56,286 But instead of attending, he's off proving that point 386 00:14:56,330 --> 00:15:00,508 by calling women's senior golf for Fox Sports Online! 387 00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:03,815 And Charles, God damn it, let's not forget how you -- 388 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,382 Hey! Hey! Hello?! -- 389 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,949 how you betrayed me 390 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:10,126 by leaving to do this podcast thing of yours. 391 00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,868 which, you know, I gotta tell ya.. 392 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:19,875 [Sighing] 393 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,529 ...is a smart play. 394 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,009 Good for you. Seriously. 395 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,967 It breaks this destructive pattern you're in 396 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,969 of putting everybody's needs in front of your own, 397 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,710 especially mine, okay? 398 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,364 I guess unlike everybody else 399 00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,670 in this little circle of adult dysfunction, 400 00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,150 you seem to be actually growing, 401 00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,978 so go ahead, say your thing, 402 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:39,460 then, you know, we can all order a drink before happy hour ends. 403 00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,331 [Inhales deeply] 404 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,072 [Sighs] 405 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:47,772 Okay, come o-- 406 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,991 Charles?[Door opens] 407 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,340 Don't do that. [Sighs] 408 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,863 [Door closes]You happy? 409 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:54,257 No, I hope you're happy. You mad Charles sad! 410 00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:55,519 Great. 411 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,260 Had to have an intervention for Jim. 412 00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,480 God damn it. 413 00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,096 I mean, the best part 414 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,532 is that I get to work with Bob Uecker. 415 00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,099 I mean, I don't know much about baseball, 416 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,492 but I can tell you this. 417 00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:14,147 I do know who the dad from "Mr. Belvedere" is. 418 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,670 I mean, this dude is like the original 419 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,628 sports-entertainment crossover star. 420 00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:19,979 He was Strahan before Strahan. 421 00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,198 Did you know that Uribe -- 422 00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,418 I spent my best years in Milwaukee? 423 00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,462 Word? Mm. 424 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,116 Well, what's it like?Mm. 425 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,553 The whole town smells like beer farts, man. 426 00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:32,687 Sometimes, I have to learn that not all boundaries are bad. 427 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,558 Maybe Jim's right. 428 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,778 [Scoffs]Maybe I do have a problem. 429 00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,998 That is the worst thing about Jim. 430 00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,869 He's always a little bit right. 431 00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,437 He knows just what to say to make you question yourself, 432 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,136 but also, try keeping your cooch in your pants 433 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,659 just a few days a week.[Door opens] 434 00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,313 See what happens. 435 00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,839 Oh! You're late. 436 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,147 I had to get a ride from my dad. 437 00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,672 Charles. 438 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,153 Hey! Come on, Charles. 439 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:07,026 What, are you mad I stopped and got a roadie? Come on. 440 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,331 'Cause I'm what's known as a -- 441 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,246 I'm a functional alcoholic.Really? 442 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,247 Yeah. 443 00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,640 Yeah, really? 444 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,250 What's your function? 445 00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,991 I-I -- 446 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,775 Because it used to be calling games for the Major Leagues, 447 00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,255 but that's gone now. 448 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,865 You used to get sober enough to call games, 449 00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,693 and now there's nothing to slow you down. 450 00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,130 What about a podcast, huh? 451 00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,479 Now, I know we were very angry with each other 452 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,089 when I got back from Atlanta, 453 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,873 but there's no reason for us to stop that thing, Charles. 454 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,006 We got a good thing going there. 455 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,008 We can use it as a platform 456 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,185 to launch a new, um, network dealy. 457 00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,493 That is the logical thing to do, yes. 458 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,845 And I will do it... if you do this. 459 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:48,067 "Sobertunities Clean Leaving Center"? 460 00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,025 I've already set everything up. All you have to do is call. 461 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,157 Oh, God, Ch-- 462 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,680 Friends don't hand friends cards 463 00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,508 to horribly named rehab facilities, okay? 464 00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:58,642 Actually, that is exactly what friends do, okay? 465 00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,167 I can't make you call them. I know that. 466 00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,082 But if you don't call, 467 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,562 I'm never speaking to you again. 468 00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,477 Aw, come on. What are you, serious with this shit? 469 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,479 Yes, I am. Okay? 470 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:13,744 Goodbye, podcast. Goodbye, you and me, forever. 471 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,964 Okay? 472 00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,184 That is, unless you get sober. 473 00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,663 Unless I get sober. Yeah. 474 00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,187 And it's -- Part of it's my fault. I know that. 475 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,449 I've been enabling you. 476 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,190 We have a codependent relationship. 477 00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,496 [Groans] Where'd you pick up language like that, God damn it? 478 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,150 I went to a few Al-Anon meetings. 479 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,934 Oh, no, you didn't, Charles. 480 00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,588 The only thing worse than the program 481 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,634 is the program about the program, okay? 482 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,636 And there's nothing wrong with codependency, alright? 483 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,247 It just lets you and me work through my problems together. 484 00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,162 Quit dicking around! 485 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,556 Jim. 486 00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:45,080 If you don't stop drinking, you are going to die. 487 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,213 [Sighs, snores]Just stop. Plea-- 488 00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,866 Why won't you stop?! 489 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,607 Why is this such a problem for you?! 490 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:54,220 People only like me when I am drunk, Charles, okay? 491 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,612 You know it's true. 492 00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,440 You did the focus testing. 493 00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:58,833 It's science, right? 494 00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,182 Yes, alright. 495 00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,488 Everything bad in my life happened 496 00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,098 because of my drinking -- Okay. 497 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,840 Also, everything good in my life, alright? 498 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,798 First game I ever called in Kansas City, 499 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,627 had to do four shots of whiskey to calm my nerves, alright? 500 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,413 I was blackout drunk for George Brett's 3,000th hit. 501 00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,589 They still play that call at the Baseball Hall of Fame. 502 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:18,418 Jules, she's the love of my life, right? 503 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,116 That relationship was built on drinking! 504 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,857 Okay, I don't know who the hell I would be 505 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:23,858 if I was sober, Charles. 506 00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,207 But I do know nobody would 507 00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,644 give a shit about that guy, whoever he is. 508 00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,994 I would. 509 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,344 [Sighs] 510 00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,562 And I hope one day I get to meet him. 511 00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:37,611 But, until then, goodbye, Jim. 512 00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:38,786 "Goodbye, Jim." 513 00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,744 Okay, well, fuck you, Charles. 514 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:43,399 Okay? My back was sore from carrying you around, anyway. 515 00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:44,618 And you know what?! 516 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,446 Your parents were right about you! 517 00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,361 You are a very selfish young man, 518 00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,886 and you are destined to fail with that attitude! 519 00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:55,455 Go on! Get out of here! 520 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:57,326 Brush you off like dandruff! 521 00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:00,938 [Horn honks in distance] 522 00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,071 [Sighs] Oh, shit. 523 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:10,557 [Scoffs] 524 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,559 [Sighs] 525 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,392 Unbelievable. 526 00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,352 Yeah, this is Jim Brockmire. 527 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:26,616 Um, I'm ready to, uh... 528 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,664 Well, where am I supposed to go? 529 00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,406 Your -- Your card doesn't have an address on it. 530 00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,408 [Crow caws] 531 00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:42,458 ♪♪ 532 00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:49,900 ♪♪ 533 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,815 Hello? 534 00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,774 Woman: Hello again! 535 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:56,298 I wasn't sure you'd call. 536 00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,082 Well, when everybody around you 537 00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,475 is telling you to hit the brakes, 538 00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:01,085 you kind of want to be with somebody 539 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,783 who sees nothing but green lights. 540 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:03,914 [Chuckles] 541 00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,568 ♪♪ 542 00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,701 [Lighter clicks] 543 00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:10,399 -[Exhales] You want a turn? 544 00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,533 -Oh, right now, this is exactly what I want. 545 00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:17,624 ♪♪ 546 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,626 [Lighter clicks] 547 00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:23,238 ♪♪ 548 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,110 [Smacks lips] 549 00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:27,938 Is this crack or meth? 550 00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:32,538 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39487

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