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1
00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:03,090
[Dog barks in distance]
2
00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:04,787
[Nicole clears throat,
bottle clinks]
3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:09,270
[Indistinct conversations]
4
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:11,576
Hey.
5
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,187
You have chlamydia.
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:14,405
What?
7
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:15,972
I said,
"You have chlamydia."
8
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,539
How do you know?
9
00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:20,455
Because you rawdogged me.
And I have chlamydia.
10
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:23,719
Excellent.
11
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,983
[Grunts]
Your place is kind of gross.
12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:30,030
Well, gee, I'm --
I'm real embarrassed about that,
13
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,162
uh, woman who just
gave me chlamydia.
14
00:00:32,206 --> 00:00:34,338
Normally, I have
a surprisingly tidy,
15
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,687
young black man come in
16
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,646
and clean up after me,
but, um...
17
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,343
[Smacks lips]
18
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,606
You know, I realize that just
sounded like he was my servant.
19
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,739
He's not my servant.
20
00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,741
Also just realized
that it sounded like
21
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,917
I'd be surprised
that a black man was tidy.
22
00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:49,788
You know, I think
I'm at my most problematic
23
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,007
before I've had
my coffee.
24
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,922
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
25
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:55,881
[Toilet flushes in distance]That's a good question.
[Sighs]
26
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,840
My roommate recently
moved out on me,
27
00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,929
and I'm still adjusting
to that.
28
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:02,279
You know?
Doing pretty well overall.
29
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:05,239
Did I shit
over there in that corner?
30
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,805
No.
That was Rick.
31
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,459
Oh.
32
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,157
Seems like
a very nice young man.
33
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,769
Oh, you have syphilis.
You're welcome.
34
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,075
Maybe Rick does, too.
35
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:16,250
I don't remember
every little thing
36
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,338
that happened here
last night.
37
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,817
[Grunts]
38
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,819
I think
it's infected.
39
00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,212
What?
40
00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:24,388
That.
Shit.
41
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,129
The hell is that?
42
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:30,786
It's two lizards
69ing each other.
43
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:33,310
Well,
that's less than ideal.
44
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:34,311
Oh, boy.
45
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:37,923
Damn it.
Man.
46
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:42,537
Oh.
47
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:48,020
Does anyone know
where this guy keeps his drugs?
48
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:50,588
[Muffled, indistinct chatter]
49
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:54,897
[Monitor beeping steadily]
50
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,812
Hey.
Hi.
51
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:57,900
Oh,
Mr. Brockmire.
52
00:01:57,943 --> 00:01:59,423
Oh, I hope you don't mind.
53
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:01,643
My students were hoping
to observe.
54
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,602
It's not every day they get
to see a case like this.
55
00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:05,995
What,
you mean like a celebrity?
56
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,301
Sure.
57
00:02:07,344 --> 00:02:09,303
Yeah, hey,
more, the merrier, right?
58
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,479
It might help us
if you could just take us
59
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,045
through
the last few weeks.
60
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,178
Well,
best I can remember,
61
00:02:15,222 --> 00:02:17,137
I threw away my dream job,
62
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,529
and then I became
the focal point
63
00:02:18,573 --> 00:02:20,836
for a national conversation
about race.
64
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:22,229
Oh, right.
65
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,926
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm that guy.
66
00:02:23,969 --> 00:02:25,710
Just, you know,
out of curiosity,
67
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:28,496
how many of you
are on my side in all that?
68
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:31,542
Alright.
One, two.
69
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,850
And how many of you are on
that racist Art Newlie's side?
70
00:02:36,808 --> 00:02:38,636
Really?!
Wow.
71
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,595
I mean, I know this
is the South and everything,
72
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:43,206
but y'all, you're
highly educated medical doctors.
73
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,208
You're not ashamed
to admit that in public?
74
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,253
Well...
75
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:47,906
Let's get back
to you.
76
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:51,954
Well, I have definitely been
in a cycle of blacking out
77
00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:54,348
and waking up
in very strange places lately.
78
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,653
Recently came to
79
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:58,221
at a strip club
as it was closing.
80
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,136
It wasn't late --
just the health inspector
81
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,877
had walked in
and shut the place down.
82
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,096
After that,
I remember waking up
83
00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:07,143
next to a young lady
with very few inhibitions
84
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,797
and quite a lot
of chlamydia.
85
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,234
But, well,
you probably know that, right?
86
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,714
You got my chart
right there.
87
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:15,238
You -- You actually have
two strains of chlamydia --
88
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,719
one on your penis
and one in your throat.
89
00:03:17,762 --> 00:03:21,810
Is that what I'm tasting?
Oh, Rick, you sneaky bastard.
90
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,333
Well,
you also have liver damage...
91
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,249
Ugh....blunt-force trauma,
and scurvy,
92
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,251
which is actually
why we're all here.
93
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,819
This is the only case
we'll ever get to see
94
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,124
outside of a textbook.
95
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,083
Scurvy, huh?
96
00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:36,216
It's that why my --
my teeth are getting loose?
97
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:39,131
I was just hoping that my gums
were getting more flexible.
98
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:43,266
Well, I always have
referred to orange juice
99
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:47,314
as a glass of vodka wasted,
so, uh...
100
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,446
I guess scurvy
makes sense.
101
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,666
[Telephone rings]
102
00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,279
Can I talk to you
a minute?
103
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,889
Yeah.
104
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,717
So, what is your relationship
with the patient?
105
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:02,851
His, uh,
ex-business partner.
106
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,113
You didn't have that
on the thing,
107
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,636
so I just wrote it in.
108
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,942
Don't worry. I'll make sure
he gets home safe.
109
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,073
No, no, no,
no, no, no.
110
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,292
He shouldn't
be going anywhere,
111
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,728
not in his condition.
112
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,556
What's wrong with him,
exactly?
113
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,341
Honestly?
Everything.
114
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:17,082
His body is literally
shutting down,
115
00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:20,303
and if your friend does not
stop drinking, and soon,
116
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:21,478
your friend
is gonna die.
117
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,611
I should not
have left him alone.
118
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,048
Okay.
I'll take care of everything.
119
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,181
I'll make sure
he does not leave my...sight.
120
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:31,183
[Sighs]
121
00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,055
Have you seen
a bottle of champagne?
122
00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,709
The old man next door swears
that he brought it in
123
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,014
to celebrate
his new grandson.
124
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,189
[P.A. system beeps]
125
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,495
Man: Doctor on call, dial ER.
126
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:41,063
Doctor on call, dial ER.
127
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:45,067
Well, I want to thank
everyone for being here.
128
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:48,549
Jean, you have some experience
with interventions 'cause...
129
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,507
-Because I was
a filthy drunk.
130
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:52,509
It's okay.
You can say it.
131
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,207
Nature and nurture both pushed
me and Jim towards the bottle,
132
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,905
but now, I have
the tools to help him.
133
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:59,211
-What made you
get sober, Jean?
134
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:00,691
-At my intervention,
135
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,563
when it was my husband Norm's
turn to speak,
136
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,305
he said,
"Stop, Jean, please."
137
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:08,046
Now, Norm doesn't normally
carry on like that,
138
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,526
so it cut me to the bone.
139
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,615
I'm really nervous,
you guys.
140
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:14,618
Jim is so good at turning
an argument against you.
141
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,054
-[Scoffs]
-Word. -That's true.
142
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,056
I once apologized
143
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,450
for the skidmarks
on his underwear.
144
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:23,584
That's why I had each of you
write a letter to read from,
145
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,194
so it isn't
a conversation.
146
00:05:25,237 --> 00:05:26,717
You get to say
everything you need to.
147
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:30,242
Now, I suggest you start
with an "I feel" sentence.
148
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,940
Okay, okay.
149
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:35,509
I feel like there's a lot
of love in this room right now.
150
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,077
No, start with something
that's not quite that stupid.
151
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,340
Okay, guys.
You know, it's almost 11:00.
152
00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:41,471
We should really go.
153
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,473
Actually,
we shouldn't go anywhere.
154
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:46,694
Three...two...one.
155
00:05:46,737 --> 00:05:48,783
[Door opens]
156
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:51,002
Jack, my friend,
give me a lunchtime special.
157
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,439
Why don't you make it a double?
158
00:05:52,482 --> 00:05:54,789
Throw it on the rocks --
little change of pace.
159
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:56,181
Jim.
160
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,269
Charles.
161
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:02,710
This is
an intervention.
162
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:05,887
Oh, Charles,
you clever, little S.O.B.
163
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,324
My goodness.
Look at you all.
164
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,457
Guess I'm trapped, huh?
165
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,763
No sense chewing off
my own leg here.
166
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,112
[Chuckles]
167
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,505
Who knows?
168
00:06:15,549 --> 00:06:17,464
Maybe the eighth time
will be the charm.
169
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:22,251
[Chuckling] Oh, boy.
Well, I got to say.
170
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:25,123
Seeing y'all come together
like this, trying to save me
171
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:28,997
from the self-destructive spiral
that I'm in, it's --
172
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:30,128
I'm underwhelmed.
173
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:31,826
Oh, come on, Jim!Jim.
174
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,349
I'm just saying,
when they throw
175
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,437
an intervention for you
in the Philippines,
176
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,699
they put out a spread, you know?
177
00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,093
Some adobo,
a full pot of bulalo,
178
00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,487
a couple of trays
of pastillas de leche.
179
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,923
Last intervention I was at,
180
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,794
they roasted a pig,
an entire pig.
181
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,622
Hey, that takes eight hours.
182
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,668
You know, I came for the pig,
I stayed for the intervention.
183
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,800
I mean, no,
I had to at that point.
184
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,455
I was, uh -- I was
pig-committed, as they say.
185
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,500
What have you guys got here?
186
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,501
Bagels.
Okay.
187
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:55,893
'Cause, yeah,
188
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,329
that's what New Orleans
is known for.
189
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,592
Let me ask you a question.
190
00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,593
How the hell
did Raj make the cut?
191
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:01,464
I love you, too, bro.
192
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:04,467
Well, our biggest guest
hasn't even made it yet.
193
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,208
Oh, boy.Charles:
Look who's Skyping in.
194
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,383
What the hell is this?
195
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,820
Oh! Joe Buck,
ladies and gentlemen.
196
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,605
Ta-da! Hey, everyone.
197
00:07:11,648 --> 00:07:12,910
Let's get Jim healthy.
198
00:07:12,954 --> 00:07:14,477
[Scoffs]
199
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,174
Are you seriously not even
remotely impressed?
200
00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,437
Not even a little bit.
201
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,090
Joe Buck's schedule alone
was a nightmare.
202
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,179
Joe Buck is not here, Charlie.
You understand that?
203
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:24,226
It's just his gigantic head
staring at me on the screen
204
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:26,358
like the darkest version
of "1984."
205
00:07:26,402 --> 00:07:30,406
Hey, I'm calling
a senior LPGA skins game today,
206
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,496
but I carved out time for you
207
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,890
because I care and...
208
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,501
Hold on.
209
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:42,026
And welcome back
to French Lick Resort,
210
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:45,595
the jewel here
in Southeastern Indiana
211
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:48,206
where dozens
of silver-haired ladies
212
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,034
are duking it out...I'll find a way to mute
Joe Buck in a second.
213
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:51,514
Just --No, wait.
I actually want to see this.
214
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,951
I got 200 bucks
on Barb Moxness.
215
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,126
Come on, Jim.
216
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:57,520
Take this seriously!
217
00:07:57,564 --> 00:07:59,740
We are all very worried
about you.
218
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:03,613
So sit your ass down,
get ready to take a goddamn moral inventory,
219
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,572
you ungrateful
piece of shit.
220
00:08:05,615 --> 00:08:08,792
Ooh.
You see why I can't stay, right?
221
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:09,880
Jim!
222
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:14,450
All I ask
is that you give this a try.
223
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,280
As a favor to you.
224
00:08:18,323 --> 00:08:19,760
You could literally die
if you don't.
225
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,370
Learn how to accept
a favor, okay?
226
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,545
Just -- Just --
Okay?
227
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,155
Thank you.
228
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,375
Gonna have a bagel.
229
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,943
No cream cheese? Really?
Are you kidding?
230
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:32,860
Alright. I'll eat it dry.
Tastes like a Nerf ball.
231
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,601
[Sighs]
232
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,213
Lucy,
you want to start us off?
233
00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:40,084
[Sighing] Okay.
234
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,999
Hi, Jim.
235
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:43,000
[Chuckles nervously]
236
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:46,569
This is really hard.
237
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:49,529
I'm here today to say
I love you.
238
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,705
Well, thank you, Lucy.
239
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:54,577
You know, I-I hear that,
and-- and I accept it.
240
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,710
That means a lot to me.
241
00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:58,407
But I also came here
to tell you
242
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,409
how your drinking has hurt me
in the following ways.
243
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,630
Nope. I hurt you? Excuse me.
I hurt you?Are you kidding me?
244
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,370
'Cause you know what hurt me?
245
00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:07,416
No, when you were dildo-deep
in our neighbor's asshole.
246
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,723
Jim!Little too much?
I do apologize.
247
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,551
I'm sorry.
Intervene away.
248
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:14,771
We would end up
at the stripper's houseboat
249
00:09:14,815 --> 00:09:17,426
drinking mezcal
from her shoe.
250
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,560
[Chuckles] It was
the best night of my life!
251
00:09:20,603 --> 00:09:22,562
[Laughs]
252
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:28,263
Uh, I think Uribe
did this wrong.
253
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:29,786
[Scoffs]
254
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:36,184
3,426 days --
that's how long I've been sober.
255
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:39,840
Each day is just as hard
as the last, maybe harder.
256
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:42,277
Every day, a part of me wants
to drink again.
257
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,845
Every morning,
I wake up and I wonder,
258
00:09:44,888 --> 00:09:47,587
"Today, will I embrace
step seven
259
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:50,894
and ask for help
to overcome my shortcomings,
260
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:53,680
or will I kiss
my miserable children goodbye,
261
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:56,247
lock myself in the garage,
and take down 40 ounces
262
00:09:56,291 --> 00:09:58,772
of drug-store vodka
before lunch?"
263
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:01,644
♪♪
264
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,342
I can almost taste it.
265
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,476
♪♪
266
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,565
Hey, guys.
I hope you don't mind.
267
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,741
I had them put mine
in teleprompter.
268
00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:15,658
Eye contact is how I tend
to connect with my audience.
269
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,268
Jim, I thought
it only appropriate
270
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:20,184
to start with a quote
by the great Maya Angelou.
271
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:22,578
"Love recognizes no barriers.
272
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,232
It jumps hurdles,
273
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,581
it leaps fence--"
274
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,452
Anybody object
to me putting a bullet
275
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,367
in the head of whatever
the hell that was about to be?
276
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,455
Together: No.
277
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:32,370
Jim, you've been a mentor,
278
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:36,418
a hero, a rival, a friend.
279
00:10:36,461 --> 00:10:39,900
But through it all,
there's been one thing
280
00:10:39,943 --> 00:10:43,947
that I have really,
really wanted to say to you.
281
00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,384
♪♪
282
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,560
Milwaukee just hired me.
283
00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,693
[Paper rustles]
284
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:55,655
Fuck you,
you goddamn vampire,
285
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:57,526
you wrinkly has-been!
286
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,137
I'm a Major League broadcaster!"
287
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:02,531
[Growls]
288
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:10,670
[Laughs]
289
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,150
[Laughs]
Hey?
290
00:11:13,194 --> 00:11:15,675
Holy shit,
that's a good bit.
291
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:17,285
Damn it, Raj.Yes. Yes.
292
00:11:17,328 --> 00:11:19,548
[Chuckling] I didn't know
you had that in you.
293
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,984
Oh, man.
Look at that.
294
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:23,117
You did win me over in the end.
Good for you.
295
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,120
I told you I would.
I wasn't sure, but we just did it.
296
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:27,643
Don't change, Jim.
297
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:29,036
Good luck
in Milwaukee.
298
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,646
So, that's it?Huh?
299
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,169
Well, that was --
that was your whole thing?
300
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,563
Yeah, yep.
That's pretty much all I got.
301
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:35,869
Hey.
302
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,262
Jean: And now our father's
in the ground.
303
00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:39,524
He's dead.
304
00:11:39,568 --> 00:11:41,352
I've been thinking a lot
about that.
305
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:44,225
Not because I miss him.
I don't. He was a prick.
306
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:48,403
But because [Sighs] now I know
what it would feel like
307
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:51,319
to bury
someone I did care about.
308
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:54,496
Someone like you.
309
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,368
And I'm not ready
for that yet.
310
00:11:57,412 --> 00:12:01,111
♪♪
311
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:05,768
Uribe parties
because he love life.
312
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,901
You do it because you hate it.
313
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,859
♪♪
314
00:12:09,903 --> 00:12:13,384
I think part of you
is happy I cheated on you
315
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,778
because now,
you don't have to hide it.
316
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:21,436
You get a free pass to drink
as much as you want forever.
317
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,265
But I'm asking you not to, Jim.
318
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,876
♪♪
319
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,445
You just...
320
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:34,188
You just came back into my life,
321
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,364
and I don't want
to lose you again.
322
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:53,337
Look, I know this is hard
to hear, but it's important.
323
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:57,515
[Slurping]
Wait a minute.
324
00:12:57,559 --> 00:12:59,039
Are you --
325
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,388
Are you drinking
right now?!
326
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:02,825
Now, don't make this
a thing, alright?
327
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,523
Oh, my God.
We should have known.
328
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:09,310
How could you drink
at your own intervention?
329
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,964
Well, if you didn't want
me to drink,
330
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:13,096
you shouldn't have held
my intervention in a bar.
331
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,142
Although, to be fair,
if I couldn't drink,
332
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,274
there's no way I would have
stayed for this,
333
00:13:17,318 --> 00:13:19,320
so good call
holding it in a bar, Charles.
334
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:21,017
In fact,
I could use another round.
335
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,149
Who's with me here?
336
00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,803
No! No!
No more drinking.
337
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,196
Then can we at least skip
the lame opening acts
338
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,546
and get right
to the main attraction, please?
339
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,113
See, Charles knows
the only shot in hell
340
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,723
that this has
of actually working
341
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:33,943
is if he brings in Jules
as a surprise closer,
342
00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:35,815
so can we bring her out?
343
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,121
Jules? Hello? Help me!
344
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,209
Jules isn't here.
345
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,256
I invited her,
told her to come down.
346
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:45,346
She said no,
said it wasn't gonna work.
347
00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:46,564
-Well --
-Apparently she was right.
348
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:48,218
Yeah, well,
what'd you expect?
349
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:49,872
You brought me into a room
full of addicts, Charles.
350
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,352
I mean --
-We're not addicts.
351
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:52,919
Oh, really?
352
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,746
What if I told you you, uh,
couldn't have sex again?
353
00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:56,400
Today?
354
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,749
I guess --
I guess that would be hard.
355
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,186
Yeah, I guess.
356
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,578
Look, we all have our own
little coping mechanisms
357
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:01,884
to get through
358
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,799
this charnel house called life,
alright?
359
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,063
Lucy has to have sex with every
single person that she meets.
360
00:14:07,107 --> 00:14:09,065
Pedro staves off oblivion
361
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:11,459
through constant
and relentless procreation.
362
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,113
Oye, papi,
that's a stretch, okay?
363
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,114
You have 14 children.
364
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,855
And hopefully, 15, okay,
365
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:18,292
because Uribe has been painting
Polly's uterine wall
366
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:19,946
with at least three coats
a day, papi.
367
00:14:19,989 --> 00:14:22,035
Jim, nobody's perfect.
368
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:23,950
That's why step 10
has us continually taking --
369
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:26,778
You're addicted to the 12 steps!
You understand that?
370
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,824
Course I am,
you arrogant prick.
371
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,304
That's how they work.
372
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:31,348
[Scoffs]
373
00:14:31,392 --> 00:14:32,872
Raj, hi.
Raj.
374
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:34,351
He's so desperate
375
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,919
to please every, single person
that he meets
376
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,616
that despite
being a very polite man,
377
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:40,705
he just flipped me off
at my own intervention
378
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,925
because he thought
that I might find it amusing.
379
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,231
But you did like it,
though, right?
380
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:45,623
Yeah, it was great.
381
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,495
Joe Buck, if he were here,
I would tell him
382
00:14:47,538 --> 00:14:49,932
that he has to say yes to every
single gig that he is offered
383
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,891
because God forbid the man
should be alone
384
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:53,588
with his own thoughts
for a second and a half.
385
00:14:53,631 --> 00:14:56,286
But instead of attending,
he's off proving that point
386
00:14:56,330 --> 00:15:00,508
by calling women's senior golf
for Fox Sports Online!
387
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:03,815
And Charles, God damn it,
let's not forget how you --
388
00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,382
Hey! Hey! Hello?! --
389
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:06,949
how you betrayed me
390
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:10,126
by leaving to do
this podcast thing of yours.
391
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,868
which, you know,
I gotta tell ya..
392
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:19,875
[Sighing]
393
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,529
...is a smart play.
394
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,009
Good for you.
Seriously.
395
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,967
It breaks this destructive
pattern you're in
396
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:26,969
of putting everybody's needs
in front of your own,
397
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,710
especially mine, okay?
398
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,364
I guess
unlike everybody else
399
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,670
in this little circle
of adult dysfunction,
400
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,150
you seem
to be actually growing,
401
00:15:34,194 --> 00:15:35,978
so go ahead,
say your thing,
402
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:39,460
then, you know, we can all order
a drink before happy hour ends.
403
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,331
[Inhales deeply]
404
00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,072
[Sighs]
405
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:47,772
Okay, come o--
406
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,991
Charles?[Door opens]
407
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,340
Don't do that.
[Sighs]
408
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,863
[Door closes]You happy?
409
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:54,257
No, I hope you're happy.
You mad Charles sad!
410
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:55,519
Great.
411
00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:57,260
Had to have
an intervention for Jim.
412
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,480
God damn it.
413
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,096
I mean,
the best part
414
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,532
is that I get to work
with Bob Uecker.
415
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:10,099
I mean, I don't know
much about baseball,
416
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,492
but I can tell you this.
417
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:14,147
I do know who the dad
from "Mr. Belvedere" is.
418
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,670
I mean,
this dude is like the original
419
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,628
sports-entertainment
crossover star.
420
00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:19,979
He was Strahan
before Strahan.
421
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,198
Did you know
that Uribe --
422
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,418
I spent my best years
in Milwaukee?
423
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,462
Word?
Mm.
424
00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:27,116
Well, what's it like?Mm.
425
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,553
The whole town smells
like beer farts, man.
426
00:16:29,597 --> 00:16:32,687
Sometimes, I have to learn
that not all boundaries are bad.
427
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:34,558
Maybe Jim's right.
428
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,778
[Scoffs]Maybe I do have a problem.
429
00:16:36,821 --> 00:16:38,998
That is the worst thing
about Jim.
430
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,869
He's always
a little bit right.
431
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:43,437
He knows just what to say
to make you question yourself,
432
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,136
but also, try keeping
your cooch in your pants
433
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:48,659
just a few days a week.[Door opens]
434
00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,313
See what happens.
435
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,839
Oh! You're late.
436
00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,147
I had to get a ride from my dad.
437
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,672
Charles.
438
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:04,153
Hey!
Come on, Charles.
439
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:07,026
What, are you mad I stopped
and got a roadie? Come on.
440
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,331
'Cause I'm what's known
as a --
441
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,246
I'm a functional alcoholic.Really?
442
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:11,247
Yeah.
443
00:17:11,291 --> 00:17:12,640
Yeah, really?
444
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:14,250
What's your function?
445
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,991
I-I --
446
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,775
Because it used to be calling
games for the Major Leagues,
447
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,255
but that's gone now.
448
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,865
You used to get
sober enough to call games,
449
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,693
and now there's nothing
to slow you down.
450
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,130
What about a podcast, huh?
451
00:17:24,173 --> 00:17:25,479
Now, I know we were
very angry with each other
452
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,089
when I got back
from Atlanta,
453
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,873
but there's no reason for us
to stop that thing, Charles.
454
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,006
We got a good thing
going there.
455
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,008
We can use it as a platform
456
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:36,185
to launch a new,
um, network dealy.
457
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,493
That is the logical
thing to do, yes.
458
00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,845
And I will do it...
if you do this.
459
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:48,067
"Sobertunities
Clean Leaving Center"?
460
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,025
I've already set everything up.
All you have to do is call.
461
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,157
Oh, God, Ch--
462
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,680
Friends don't
hand friends cards
463
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,508
to horribly named
rehab facilities, okay?
464
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:58,642
Actually, that is exactly
what friends do, okay?
465
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,167
I can't make you call them.
I know that.
466
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,082
But if you don't call,
467
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,562
I'm never speaking
to you again.
468
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,477
Aw, come on. What are you,
serious with this shit?
469
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,479
Yes, I am.
Okay?
470
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:13,744
Goodbye, podcast.
Goodbye, you and me, forever.
471
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,964
Okay?
472
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,184
That is,
unless you get sober.
473
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,663
Unless I get sober.
Yeah.
474
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,187
And it's -- Part of it's
my fault. I know that.
475
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,449
I've been enabling you.
476
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,190
We have a codependent
relationship.
477
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:26,496
[Groans] Where'd you pick up
language like that, God damn it?
478
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,150
I went to a few
Al-Anon meetings.
479
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,934
Oh, no,
you didn't, Charles.
480
00:18:29,978 --> 00:18:31,588
The only thing worse
than the program
481
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,634
is the program
about the program, okay?
482
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,636
And there's nothing wrong
with codependency, alright?
483
00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,247
It just lets you and me work
through my problems together.
484
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:40,162
Quit dicking around!
485
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,556
Jim.
486
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:45,080
If you don't stop drinking,
you are going to die.
487
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,213
[Sighs, snores]Just stop. Plea--
488
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,866
Why won't you stop?!
489
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:50,607
Why is this
such a problem for you?!
490
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:54,220
People only like me
when I am drunk, Charles, okay?
491
00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,612
You know it's true.
492
00:18:55,656 --> 00:18:57,440
You did the focus testing.
493
00:18:57,484 --> 00:18:58,833
It's science, right?
494
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,182
Yes, alright.
495
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,488
Everything bad
in my life happened
496
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,098
because of my drinking --
Okay.
497
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,840
Also, everything good
in my life, alright?
498
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:07,798
First game I ever called
in Kansas City,
499
00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:10,627
had to do four shots of whiskey
to calm my nerves, alright?
500
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:13,413
I was blackout drunk
for George Brett's 3,000th hit.
501
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,589
They still play that call
at the Baseball Hall of Fame.
502
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:18,418
Jules, she's the love
of my life, right?
503
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:21,116
That relationship
was built on drinking!
504
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,857
Okay, I don't know
who the hell I would be
505
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:23,858
if I was sober, Charles.
506
00:19:23,901 --> 00:19:25,207
But I do know nobody would
507
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:27,644
give a shit about that guy,
whoever he is.
508
00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,994
I would.
509
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:31,344
[Sighs]
510
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:32,562
And I hope one day
I get to meet him.
511
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:37,611
But, until then,
goodbye, Jim.
512
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:38,786
"Goodbye, Jim."
513
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:40,744
Okay, well,
fuck you, Charles.
514
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:43,399
Okay? My back was sore from
carrying you around, anyway.
515
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:44,618
And you know what?!
516
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:46,446
Your parents were right
about you!
517
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,361
You are a very selfish
young man,
518
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:51,886
and you are destined
to fail with that attitude!
519
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:55,455
Go on!
Get out of here!
520
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:57,326
Brush you off like dandruff!
521
00:19:57,370 --> 00:20:00,938
[Horn honks in distance]
522
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:03,071
[Sighs]
Oh, shit.
523
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:10,557
[Scoffs]
524
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,559
[Sighs]
525
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,392
Unbelievable.
526
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,352
Yeah, this is Jim Brockmire.
527
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:26,616
Um, I'm ready to, uh...
528
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,664
Well, where am I supposed to go?
529
00:20:30,707 --> 00:20:33,406
Your -- Your card doesn't have
an address on it.
530
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:35,408
[Crow caws]
531
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:42,458
♪♪
532
00:20:42,893 --> 00:20:49,900
♪♪
533
00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:51,815
Hello?
534
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,774
Woman: Hello again!
535
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:56,298
I wasn't sure you'd call.
536
00:20:56,342 --> 00:20:58,082
Well,
when everybody around you
537
00:20:58,126 --> 00:20:59,475
is telling you
to hit the brakes,
538
00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:01,085
you kind of want
to be with somebody
539
00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:02,783
who sees
nothing but green lights.
540
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:03,914
[Chuckles]
541
00:21:03,958 --> 00:21:05,568
♪♪
542
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:07,701
[Lighter clicks]
543
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:10,399
-[Exhales]
You want a turn?
544
00:21:10,443 --> 00:21:13,533
-Oh, right now,
this is exactly what I want.
545
00:21:13,576 --> 00:21:17,624
♪♪
546
00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:19,626
[Lighter clicks]
547
00:21:19,669 --> 00:21:23,238
♪♪
548
00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:26,110
[Smacks lips]
549
00:21:26,154 --> 00:21:27,938
Is this crack or meth?
550
00:21:27,988 --> 00:21:32,538
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