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1
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,613
Next, we meet our own cafeteria lady.
2
00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,650
The ever-cheerful Bertha Von Bulow.
3
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:20,316
Bertha, of course,
the former nanny to the Gorbachev family,
4
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,483
now prepares delectable
Russian treats here at John Adams High.
5
00:00:23,558 --> 00:00:26,528
Her specialty? Red Square Jell-O.
6
00:00:27,529 --> 00:00:29,862
(Shawn) Hey, girls.
Want to be in pictures?
7
00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:33,299
(Cory) Shawn, we're slicing Jell-O here.
8
00:00:34,936 --> 00:00:36,165
Mm-mm.
9
00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,797
Freedom never tasted so good.
10
00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:44,479
Hunter. Matthews. Wake up.
11
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,171
We gotta watch your report,
you gotta watch it.
12
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,511
But it stinks.
13
00:00:48,583 --> 00:00:50,814
Maybe Mr. Williams doesn't know it stinks.
14
00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,683
Oh, he knows.
15
00:00:52,754 --> 00:00:56,521
Well, I for one think the students have
a right to know how their food is prepared.
16
00:00:56,591 --> 00:00:59,322
Cory did an excellent report.
17
00:00:59,394 --> 00:01:01,863
- You two are an item, right?
- Uh-huh.
18
00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:04,991
Matthews, you got yourself a good woman.
19
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:10,403
But the assignment was to find me
a news story. Now, how is Jell-O news?
20
00:01:10,471 --> 00:01:13,498
When it's used for evil.
21
00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,843
People, in my years as a news producer
I learned two things, right?
22
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:21,679
You gotta tell the truth, and make it
interesting. You gotta find a grabber.
23
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:24,776
Now, you two keep that in mind
as you redo your assignment.
24
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,047
Redo?
25
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:27,645
Oh, come on, Mr. Williams.
26
00:01:27,722 --> 00:01:31,215
Everybody knows media arts
is supposed to be an easy A.
27
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:34,387
- Maybe he doesn't know that.
- Oh, he knows.
28
00:01:35,964 --> 00:01:38,024
People, we go on the air in four days.
29
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,965
There's no reason
why we can't have a great broadcast.
30
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:42,503
Mr. Williams, it's just public access.
31
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,096
I mean, we're on after the origami lady.
32
00:01:45,173 --> 00:01:50,339
Actually, she's amazing. She can fold up
her body and make herself into a ship.
33
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,710
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
34
00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:58,950
(doorbell)
35
00:01:59,954 --> 00:02:01,889
- Cory, come on. You're late.
- For what?
36
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:04,687
- Put the camera over here.
- What's going on?
37
00:02:04,759 --> 00:02:08,355
It's perfect.
Exactly what Mr. Williams asked for.
38
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:11,126
Across the street.
Third floor, second window on the right.
39
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,862
Well, what is it? A robbery?
A sniper? A hostage situation? What?
40
00:02:13,935 --> 00:02:16,700
- It's better.
- Shawn, unless there's something like...
41
00:02:16,771 --> 00:02:20,970
I don't know, a woman dancing
in a towel, I don't see how...
42
00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:24,103
Shawn, there's a woman
dancing in a towel.
43
00:02:24,178 --> 00:02:26,170
She does this every day at 5:30.
44
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,842
I mean, you could set your watch by her.
45
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,579
Why would you do that?
46
00:02:31,653 --> 00:02:33,645
Cory, it's just an expression.
47
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:35,986
Yeah, but why wouldn't you just
call that number that gives the time?
48
00:02:36,057 --> 00:02:38,526
I mean, sure, it's 35 cents,
but it's based on the atomic clock...
49
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,358
Cory, there's a woman dancing in a towel.
50
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:44,558
You bet there is, baby.
51
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:51,262
5:30, huh? Boy, my watch must be slow.
52
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:54,309
Guys, get away from the window.
53
00:02:55,810 --> 00:02:57,972
A camera? What are you doing?
54
00:02:58,046 --> 00:03:00,072
Homework.
55
00:03:01,082 --> 00:03:03,574
- We're shooting a news report.
- For Mr. Williams' class.
56
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,246
Oh, and you're calling this news?
57
00:03:07,121 --> 00:03:10,091
We think she's up to no good.
58
00:03:10,158 --> 00:03:12,218
Guys, put the camera down.
59
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,283
Why?
60
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:17,230
Because I would like to think that you'd
have the maturity and the restraint to not...
61
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,926
- Oh, boy, the towel fell down.
- Oh! Oh!
62
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:19,990
Oh! Oh, my God!
63
00:03:20,068 --> 00:03:23,334
Guys, guys! Knock it off.
64
00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:26,772
Exploiting someone's body is not news.
65
00:03:26,841 --> 00:03:29,276
Come on, sit down. Sit down.
66
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:34,646
We'll watch the 5:30 report,
you'll see what real journalism is all about.
67
00:03:34,716 --> 00:03:37,208
(man on TV) Up next,
a very special report.
68
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:40,551
Breast enlargements. Is bigger better?
69
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:48,757
Leonard, don't hold back. A nervous
stomach ain't nothing to be ashamed of.
70
00:03:48,830 --> 00:03:52,358
Janitor Bud. You must never
embarrass a student like that.
71
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,800
Are you kidding? Me and Leonard?
72
00:03:54,869 --> 00:03:57,134
We're tight.
73
00:03:57,939 --> 00:04:00,135
Hey, kid!
74
00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:02,905
I still enjoy the chase.
75
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:11,016
All right, George. What gives with
all the beautiful women outside your office?
76
00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:14,249
Oh, the secretarial prospects?
Yes, I'm interviewing today.
77
00:04:14,322 --> 00:04:15,984
What happened to Mrs. Woolly?
78
00:04:16,057 --> 00:04:19,391
She's moving to Florida
to be closer to her grandchildren.
79
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,658
The little one, Monty, turns 50 this month.
80
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,025
So have we decided
on a going-away gift yet?
81
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:30,629
Well, a couple of us chipped in
and bought her an oxygen tank.
82
00:04:31,506 --> 00:04:35,341
- Come on, George. That's not even funny.
- Oh, stop it, man.
83
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,038
The woman's a certified scuba diver.
84
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,238
There's gotta be
another story out there, Shawn.
85
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:44,114
Like what? We've tried Jell-O,
we tried dancing women.
86
00:04:44,185 --> 00:04:48,316
- There's nothing else out there.
- There's lots of stuff. Crime. Scandal.
87
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:52,523
Hey, you know, we could do a story
on my uncle Vic. The one that was set up?
88
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,323
- Nah, it wouldn't work.
- Why?
89
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:57,297
There's a pretty good chance he'd kill us.
90
00:04:57,365 --> 00:05:00,858
All right, then. All right,
we'll find a scandal of our own.
91
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:04,702
Where? Here at John Adams?
There's no scandal here.
92
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,105
Tires. Tires? Stolen tires?
93
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:12,245
We follow Joey, we find a story.
94
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,509
You don't need tires,
how about some tube socks?
95
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:17,746
Huh, guys? Everybody needs tube socks.
96
00:05:22,657 --> 00:05:25,491
- Oh, it's true. It's true.
- What's true?
97
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,724
I heard there's some science lady looking
for students to be part of a research study?
98
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:31,630
That's right.
I'm doing my thesis on psychoneurology.
99
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,168
So you're interested
in the field of dream research?
100
00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:36,534
Heck, no. But I loved your flier.
101
00:05:36,604 --> 00:05:38,698
"Earn cash while you sleep."
102
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:42,403
Hi. Eric Matthews,
amateur sleeper, ready to turn pro.
103
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,945
Monique Larson. Why don't you come in
and I'll explain what we're doing?
104
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:49,040
Uh, what's to know?
Eyes shut, get cash, buy records.
105
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,950
So, this is my little makeshift laboratory.
106
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,954
And this machine will measure and record
107
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,513
your brainwave
and rapid eye movements while you sleep.
108
00:05:56,591 --> 00:05:59,060
I got a job.
109
00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:04,428
OK, settle down, people.
We're on the air live in 55 seconds.
110
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,399
This is so exciting.
111
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:09,926
- Topanga, how's my anchor doing?
- Katie Couric. Katie Couric. Katie Couric.
112
00:06:10,004 --> 00:06:12,371
Oh, you go, girl.
113
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,035
- Hey, Topanga. Are you sweating?
- I don't sweat. I glisten.
114
00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:17,806
- Yeah. Well, you're glistening like a pig.
- Thanks.
115
00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:21,179
OK, 30 seconds.
The origami lady's finishing up.
116
00:06:21,249 --> 00:06:24,777
Unbelievable.
She looks just like the Queen Mary.
117
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,378
Right down to the deckchairs.
118
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,947
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
119
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:35,559
Well, Mr. Williams.
Your project has really come together.
120
00:06:35,630 --> 00:06:38,031
- What can I look forward to?
- Oh, a lot of good stuff, George.
121
00:06:38,099 --> 00:06:41,536
A little news, a little sports.
A profile on Janitor Bud.
122
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,401
Our Janitor Bud?
123
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:47,567
- He's not doing his magic tricks, is he?
- Well, I'm not sure.
124
00:06:47,642 --> 00:06:50,703
You know, Matthews is in editing,
finishing up the piece right now.
125
00:06:50,778 --> 00:06:53,805
You're airing
student reports you haven't seen?
126
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,715
George, these are good kids.
They haven't let me down yet.
127
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,413
Mr. Williams, this is high school.
128
00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:01,979
Join us.
129
00:07:02,056 --> 00:07:03,991
(ship's horn)
130
00:07:04,058 --> 00:07:07,460
They're putting her in the water.
She's sailing away.
131
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,394
It's showtime.
132
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:11,625
- In five, four...
- Mr. Williams, Mr. Williams, I can't do this.
133
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,031
- ...three, two
- You don't understand, there's no way...
134
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,194
Hello, Philadelphia.
135
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,738
This is Topanga Lawrence
with the John Adams report.
136
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:23,267
Today's top stories: campus police
baffled by stolen tube-sock ring.
137
00:07:24,412 --> 00:07:27,075
Thank you, Bob.
And once again, Bob's book,
138
00:07:27,148 --> 00:07:31,176
Skid Marks: Confessions of a Crossing
Guard is available in the school store.
139
00:07:31,252 --> 00:07:32,584
And we'll be right back.
140
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:36,681
Topanga is doing very well.
She has a natural poise.
141
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:40,353
Leonard, a thought on the cue cards.
They're facing you!
142
00:07:40,428 --> 00:07:43,694
And Hunter, where's Cory with the last
story? Mr. Williams, I can't work like this.
143
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,030
Everybody out of my way, I'm making TV.
144
00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:50,037
OK, we're back. In three, two...
145
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:54,805
And finally, a report
filed by Cory Matthews on...
146
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,204
Janitor Bud?
147
00:07:57,278 --> 00:07:59,304
Why?
148
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,047
(Shawn) It's out.
149
00:08:04,118 --> 00:08:07,145
- Spinach.
- (Shawn) Cory, I'm rolling.
150
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:10,589
All right. Remind me to edit this out, huh?
151
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:17,561
We're here in the hallways of John Adams
High, where all of us are trapped.
152
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:20,328
Trapped like...
153
00:08:20,401 --> 00:08:21,334
deer.
154
00:08:21,402 --> 00:08:22,665
(Shawn) Deer?
155
00:08:22,737 --> 00:08:25,138
Trapped deer. All of us.
156
00:08:25,206 --> 00:08:27,937
Until 3:30.
157
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:31,036
Or are some less trapped than others?
158
00:08:39,553 --> 00:08:41,283
Right.
159
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:43,917
(laughs)
160
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:48,089
(Cory hums dramatic tune)
Bom bom bomm!
161
00:08:50,264 --> 00:08:53,530
I'd be laughing too
if I were skipping out at 2:55.
162
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:56,366
End of story? No.
163
00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:05,236
We know that Janitor Bud leaves at 2:55,
yet he gets paid until 5 o'clock.
164
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:07,872
Scandal? Oh, yeah.
165
00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,425
(Cory) Bom bom bomm!
166
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,397
Mr. Lincoln, meet Mr. Pocket.
167
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,166
(laughs)
168
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,296
(Cory) And there you have it.
169
00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:34,809
Janitor Bud, the man
who's mopped his way into our hearts,
170
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:39,438
willing to risk his spotless reputation
for a few measly hours a week.
171
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:42,005
Where are our heroes?
172
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,984
I do not know.
173
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,043
But I do know...
174
00:09:47,822 --> 00:09:51,088
this is the loneliest mop I've ever seen.
175
00:09:56,464 --> 00:09:57,989
Wow.
176
00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,226
Well...
177
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:02,464
This is Topanga Lawrence,
and good day, and, uh...
178
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,732
Don't eat veal.
179
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,899
And we're clear.
180
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,169
Huh?
181
00:10:08,242 --> 00:10:11,007
Huh, Mr. Williams?
Just what you asked for.
182
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:14,071
- News that grabs.
- Very effective report.
183
00:10:14,148 --> 00:10:17,141
Well, it was tough at first, but once
we found our angle we had a great time.
184
00:10:17,218 --> 00:10:21,155
- Sure did some digging.
- So, Mom, Dad, how proud are you?
185
00:10:21,222 --> 00:10:23,691
Your son, the investigative reporter.
186
00:10:24,225 --> 00:10:26,319
Uh, Alan?
187
00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:29,693
Um, well... Cory, was this all true?
188
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:33,996
Well, you saw it.
"Not a dramatization. Not a dramatization."
189
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:37,004
- Well, that's very unfortunate.
- Why's that?
190
00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:42,066
Because now I have
the unpleasant task of firing Janitor Bud.
191
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,779
Maureen, hi.
192
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:58,917
I don't get it.
We finally do well in a class project,
193
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:02,054
and people start acting all weird on us.
I mean, what's the big deal?
194
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,360
The big deal is nobody
wants Janitor Bud fired.
195
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,297
Oh, he's not gonna get fired.
196
00:11:06,367 --> 00:11:08,666
He's been in Feeny's office
for over an hour.
197
00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:11,205
Look, say what you want about Feeny.
198
00:11:11,272 --> 00:11:13,741
- OK. I think he's one of the biggest...
- Not now.
199
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,299
I'm telling you, Feeny's a fair man.
200
00:11:16,377 --> 00:11:18,778
Trust me.
He'll give Janitor Bud a second chance.
201
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:23,409
- What? No second chance?
- I wish there were some other way.
202
00:11:23,484 --> 00:11:26,386
Oh, come on.
There's history between us, Georgie.
203
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,581
You and me, we're like brothers.
204
00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:31,015
No, we're not.
205
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,526
Bud, you were caught on tape.
206
00:11:33,594 --> 00:11:37,395
But in two months I retire. Full pension.
207
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,428
I'm sorry.
208
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:40,661
OK.
209
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:43,203
I didn't want to use this, Feeny.
210
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,638
- But what about that time I saved your life?
- Saved my life?
211
00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,471
You were walking down the hall
212
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:52,070
when I noticed a patch
of waxy buildup on the floor.
213
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:55,207
You were maybe two, three steps away.
There was no time to clean.
214
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:59,913
I had no choice
but to throw myself onto the wax.
215
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:02,149
I thought you were napping.
216
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,720
Well, once I was down there...
217
00:12:08,028 --> 00:12:12,193
Bud, I want to thank you
for your devoted service.
218
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:16,135
Oh, come on, George.
Ammonia's in my blood.
219
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:19,940
No, really. It is.
220
00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:23,375
Oh, Bud, don't do this to yourself.
221
00:12:24,345 --> 00:12:27,213
But it's all I know.
222
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:29,512
Godspeed, Bud.
223
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:42,594
I can't believe Bud was fired
because of our report.
224
00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:46,430
No, Shawn. We have nothing
to feel bad about, OK? We told the truth.
225
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,561
If anyone should feel bad, Bud should.
I mean, he was the one goofing off.
226
00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:50,764
Goofing off, huh?
227
00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:54,468
You trying to tell me that leaving early
for no apparent reason is goofing off?
228
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,474
Yeah.
229
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:59,502
Maybe you didn't get the whole story,
Mr. "Didn't get the whole story."
230
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:04,041
Did you bother to find out where our saintly
Janitor B was going every day at 2:55?
231
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,381
- No.
- Uh-oh.
232
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:10,049
So before you go pontificating
from your tokus, let me set you straight.
233
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:13,617
Every day, that sweet Bud of a man
takes a few dollars that he has left,
234
00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:16,994
and he visits a place where there
are others even less fortunate than him.
235
00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:21,434
- Oh. Oh, my stomach is bubbling.
- Good. Your stomach should bubble.
236
00:13:21,502 --> 00:13:24,939
Because that lovely man
that you got canned, he's a giver.
237
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,701
And do you know
where he gives, Matthews?
238
00:13:26,774 --> 00:13:28,402
Oh, I don't want to know.
239
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,003
The track, Matthews. Playing the ponies.
240
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:37,080
The joy of gambling was all he had left.
241
00:13:37,151 --> 00:13:40,485
So next time you go sticking your nose
someplace where it don't belong,
242
00:13:40,554 --> 00:13:42,022
you remember this.
243
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,388
You suck.
244
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,821
Wow. Poor Bud.
245
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,161
Poor Bud?
246
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:56,067
"Saint Bud" skips work
so he can bless the ponies.
247
00:13:56,537 --> 00:13:59,006
Yeah, but now he's got no income
what's he gonna gamble with?
248
00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:04,944
Oh, he'll land on his feet.
I mean, he's a capable, talented janitor.
249
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,347
- Yeah, I guess you're right.
- Of course I am.
250
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:12,648
It's just weird to think that Bud's been
through those doors for the last time.
251
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:16,316
And one more thing. I know it was you two.
252
00:14:16,390 --> 00:14:19,588
I put the janitor's curse upon you.
253
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:33,665
Eric? Eric, wake up.
254
00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:37,109
Gimme five more minutes, Mommy.
255
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,805
- Eric.
- Yeah?
256
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,041
Oh. Oh, Monique.
257
00:14:41,115 --> 00:14:42,708
Where's my money?
258
00:14:42,783 --> 00:14:45,252
You didn't pay me
while I was asleep, did you?
259
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,811
Eric, I have to ask you a few questions.
260
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:50,483
Questions? Hey, wait, whoa.
That wasn't part of the deal.
261
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,219
Is this some kind of scam, Miss...
262
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,284
Staff?
263
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:58,526
You'll get paid. I just have to know,
do you remember any of your dreams?
264
00:14:58,599 --> 00:14:59,726
Mmm...
265
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:00,859
No.
266
00:15:00,934 --> 00:15:04,871
Do you remember any of your dreams
from the past few months? Years, even?
267
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:07,533
How am I supposed to remember 'em?
I was asleep.
268
00:15:07,608 --> 00:15:09,600
- It's the oddest thing.
- What is?
269
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:14,307
Well, while you were asleep, you had this
serene look on your face. Almost goofy.
270
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:15,713
Thank you.
271
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:20,378
But you registered
absolutely no brain activity.
272
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:28,861
- It's remarkable.
- Well, I've been sleeping since I was five.
273
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,922
If you don't mind,
I'd love to run additional tests on you.
274
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:34,127
Whoa, whoa, hold on there. Not so fast.
275
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,193
You want Mr. Remarkable,
it's gonna cost you.
276
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:38,034
- What you're paying me today?
- Mm-hm?
277
00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,041
I want half.
278
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:43,202
And then double it.
279
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:45,712
- You got it.
- All right.
280
00:15:50,184 --> 00:15:54,645
Boy. Even Bertha hates us
over this whole janitor thing.
281
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:57,555
Well, I'd say the word
"hate" is a little strong.
282
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,957
Read your bun.
283
00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,394
"I hate you."
284
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,692
Shawn, I'm a reporter, OK?
285
00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:12,365
And it's my job to get the story,
no matter what the consequences.
286
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,772
You OK?
287
00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:18,540
- Janitor's curse, man.
- Shawn, don't let it get to you, OK?
288
00:16:18,612 --> 00:16:20,774
There's no such thing. All right?
289
00:16:20,848 --> 00:16:25,786
Now, let's just relax,
sit down, and enjoy our lunch.
290
00:16:25,853 --> 00:16:28,186
Hey there. Mind if we sit here?
291
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,353
Ah. Taken.
292
00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:37,531
Boy. That's the last table.
Let's get out of here.
293
00:16:37,598 --> 00:16:39,863
No. No, I'm not gonna be intimidated.
294
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:45,372
It's gonna take someone a lot bigger
than that to push Cory Matthews around.
295
00:16:46,507 --> 00:16:49,170
Shawn, I think we have a winner.
296
00:16:49,243 --> 00:16:51,508
Come on, let's go.
297
00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,672
Man, Matthews is really taking a beating.
298
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:55,340
Yeah, but he had it coming,
don't you think?
299
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,611
I mean, the kid's story
cost Janitor Bud his job.
300
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,346
Yeah, but the whole school's
on the little guy's case now.
301
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,411
- That was the assignment, wasn't it?
- Uh, yeah.
302
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,981
Told him to go out and get
a hot news story, right? Matthews did.
303
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:07,289
- That's the news business.
- Yeah, but this isn't the news business.
304
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,853
This is school. These are kids.
305
00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:12,331
Exactly.
306
00:17:15,969 --> 00:17:18,302
And when I was doing it,
it seemed so right.
307
00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:23,072
Part of me still thinks it was, but
everyone at school's treating me like a jerk.
308
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,907
What do you guys think?
Was I right or wrong?
309
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:29,416
- Well, I think it's obvious. You were right.
- You were wrong.
310
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,113
Amy, darling, what do you mean?
311
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,585
I mean, Bud was caught red-handed
skipping off to the track.
312
00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:36,920
Oh, Alan, the poor old man
was two months away from his pension.
313
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:39,983
He was a trifecta away from Tahiti.
314
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,325
Honey, the school was his life.
315
00:17:42,396 --> 00:17:44,592
Yeah, until 2:55.
316
00:17:45,299 --> 00:17:47,530
Is it just me, or am I getting
mixed signals from you guys?
317
00:17:47,601 --> 00:17:50,002
- Uh, Cory, this isn't about you.
- Alan, you're being a...
318
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,096
- Mom, Dad, I got great news.
- What? What?
319
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,266
A letter from
the University of Pennsylvania.
320
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:57,641
- You were accepted?
- Better. They want to study me.
321
00:17:57,711 --> 00:17:59,873
Yeah!
322
00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:05,778
Cory, everybody's giving you
such a hard time. I hope they stop.
323
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:10,187
Topanga, come on. I mean,
people have short memories. I mean...
324
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:14,286
Oh, like this has never happened to you.
325
00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,728
(bell)
326
00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,130
I'll see you later.
327
00:18:21,802 --> 00:18:24,328
Man. That's a big old fish.
328
00:18:25,973 --> 00:18:29,068
- You think?
- Listen, Matthews. I want to talk to you.
329
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:34,171
- Yeah, well, you're the only one.
- Let's take a walk. And leave the fish.
330
00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:47,453
- So how's life?
- I don't know.
331
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,758
Big fish in my locker. You tell me.
332
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,562
You don't deserve all this grief you're
getting over this Janitor Bud thing.
333
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:56,900
I know.
I was just a reporter, doing my job.
334
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:58,803
Right?
335
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:03,071
You don't have a job. You're a kid
in school. That's where I messed up.
336
00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:07,103
You see, I'm supposed to teach you about
the news business, and not put you in it.
337
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:09,843
Wait, wait. Now I'm really confused.
Was I right or wrong?
338
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,318
Well, what do you think about your report?
339
00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:16,448
I was proud of it. I had a great time doing it.
340
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:20,119
Yeah. And how do you feel
about what happened to Bud?
341
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,526
Well, I feel bad for him.
342
00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:25,566
I mean, I didn't mean
for him to lose his job.
343
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,067
Welcome to the news business.
344
00:19:28,135 --> 00:19:30,900
It's a tough game when you care.
345
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:33,202
So I was wrong when I did my story?
346
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,572
- No, I didn't say that.
- So I was right?
347
00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:38,407
No, I didn't say that either.
There isn't always a clear right or wrong.
348
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:41,277
But I'm a kid. I want it both ways.
349
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:45,152
Got a secret for you. We adults do too.
350
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:55,295
When you get a chance,
I'd like another cup of coffee.
351
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,354
Hello?
352
00:19:58,999 --> 00:20:00,524
Hello?
353
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:05,499
- George. Got a minute?
- Mr. Williams.
354
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:08,269
Oh, and Mr. Matthews. It's a party.
355
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:12,745
You let me handle this.
Now, regarding this Janitor Bud situation.
356
00:20:12,813 --> 00:20:15,214
Well, far be it from me
to imply that you've said
357
00:20:15,282 --> 00:20:17,547
or done anything
that's at all inappropriate...
358
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:21,577
Oh, just give the old gambler his job back.
359
00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:23,647
Smooth, Matthews.
360
00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:28,185
Gentlemen, save your breath.
The matter's closed.
361
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,025
Look, man, this is my fault.
362
00:20:30,097 --> 00:20:32,589
I should have screened the tapes
before I put them on the air.
363
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:35,898
But they did go on the air
to the entire school board.
364
00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:38,564
I had no choice. I did what I had to do.
365
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,631
Come on, man. Two more months with
the school, he can retire with a full pension.
366
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:45,110
Mr. Feeny, how can you do this
to a man who saved your life?
367
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:48,812
Oh, for the love of God, I saw that wax.
368
00:20:48,882 --> 00:20:52,375
You know, Mr. Feeny, I always thought
that deep down you had a heart of gold.
369
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:54,751
But, I mean, now I see the truth. I see that...
370
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,222
Here's your stinking coffee.
371
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:02,095
...that Janitor Bud's your secretary.
372
00:21:02,162 --> 00:21:06,156
And by the way, Feeny,
go easy on that buzzer.
373
00:21:06,233 --> 00:21:08,964
It ain't a toy, you know.
374
00:21:11,338 --> 00:21:14,172
Two months, huh?
375
00:21:14,674 --> 00:21:16,666
Coasters, Feeny.
376
00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:19,542
Coasters.
377
00:21:19,613 --> 00:21:21,946
Blast my heart of gold.
378
00:21:28,255 --> 00:21:30,486
Ladies, gentlemen,
I'd like to thank you
379
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:33,049
for flying in
from all over the world.
380
00:21:33,660 --> 00:21:37,927
As you can see, today's results are
consistent with my previous research.
381
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:41,927
Fast asleep,
and no brain activity whatsoever.
382
00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:47,038
I know what you're thinking,
Professor. No, he's not dead.
383
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:49,099
Eric. Eric.
384
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:54,610
What's up, Docs?
385
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:58,379
Ah. So, Monique, how'd I do this time?
Wait, let me guess. Remarkable.
386
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:01,285
Eric, you truly are
the most content individual,
387
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:04,188
without a care
or worry in the world.
388
00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:06,351
You are one of a kind.
389
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:07,655
Excellent.
390
00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:09,821
So how'd the little mouse do?
391
00:22:10,597 --> 00:22:13,692
This common
field mouse has fears,
392
00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:16,327
hopes,
dreams, goals.
393
00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:18,634
Poor little guy.
394
00:22:18,684 --> 00:22:23,234
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