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1
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,931
[MUSIC PLAYS]
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,732
Look, I'm sorry I didn't
call you back, Kristen.
3
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:10,743
I forgot.
You forgive me?
4
00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,444
Apparently not.
5
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:16,442
You know the big difference
between guys and girls...
6
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:19,418
girls want commitment,
guys want girls.
7
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,683
What's the matter
with commitment?
8
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:23,212
You are so 11.
9
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:27,255
Hey, where's your mom?
10
00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,522
She just blew through here
a minute ago...
11
00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:30,257
looking for contracts
or something. I don't know.
12
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:31,457
Hey, Dad,
I'm pretty sure...
13
00:00:31,498 --> 00:00:33,329
Mr. Feeny numbers
those things.
14
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,426
Well, this was hanging
on our side of the fence...
15
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,029
so its number is up.
16
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,938
I know I put those papers
around here somewhere.
17
00:00:40,974 --> 00:00:42,771
Now, you look very
nice this morning.
18
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,276
Oh, there they are!
19
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:46,279
I need them for the closing
on that brick split-level...
20
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:47,371
on oak Street.
21
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,075
I fact, you look
downright huggable.
22
00:00:49,116 --> 00:00:50,140
Hi, hon.
23
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,775
Morgan! Your
oatmeal's ready!
24
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:54,286
You know, you're
gonna be leaving soon...
25
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:57,757
and that window of hugging
opportunity will close.
26
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:01,192
Hey, Mom, I need a note for
that field trip this Friday.
27
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,456
That should cover it.
28
00:01:02,496 --> 00:01:03,463
Thanks, Mom.
29
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,192
Morgan! It's getting cold!
30
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,395
Coffee? Poured with love.
31
00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:09,402
[TIMER BELL RINGS]
32
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:10,425
Cinnamon rolls.
33
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:14,407
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
34
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:15,908
I got it.
35
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,376
Hello.
36
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:20,278
Morgan! This is the last
time I'm calling you!
37
00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,303
[CAR HORN HONKS]
38
00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,248
Oh, great. It's Jimmy,
and he's early.
39
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,148
I've got to get
to this closing.
40
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:27,016
Mom, that was Judy,
queen of zits.
41
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:29,022
She has a cold
and she can't babysit.
42
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,523
Good. Between her
nose running...
43
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:33,583
and her zits popping, I
don't want her in the house.
44
00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,254
I'm done.
45
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,388
OK, well, I'll call a
back-up sitter later on.
46
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:39,262
I don't want to punk out
on my bowling league.
47
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,824
Hey, relax, you've got
a responsible teenage son...
48
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:43,699
with no current social life.
I'll take the weasel.
49
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:44,726
Thank you.
50
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,204
Hey, hey, hey! Some
of that, some of that.
51
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,866
- [HORN HONKS]
- Got to go.
52
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:49,739
Morgan, if you don't
get down here now...
53
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,437
I'm gonna give the
oatmeal to the dog.
54
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:52,502
We don't have a dog.
55
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,980
Oh, excuse me
for improvising.
56
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,952
Hey, Dad, can we order out
for pizza tonight...
57
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,453
since Mom's
got her bowling league...
58
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:01,852
and you've got
your managers' meeting?
59
00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:02,946
Sure.
60
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,855
Cool. Now, the large
with everything on it...
61
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,483
is gonna run us
around 100 bucks.
62
00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:07,493
Here's a 20.
63
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:08,551
20! Cool!
64
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:10,995
I want change, massive
amounts of change.
65
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:12,498
Hey, Dad, can I have this?
66
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,500
Sure. Somebody ought
to get some use out of it.
67
00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,900
I know, you're going
to use that rose...
68
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,165
to make up with Kristen.
69
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,196
Are you kidding?
She hung up on me.
70
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,969
I mean, that's what she
wants... for me to go back...
71
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:23,806
on my hands and knees
and give her stuff.
72
00:02:23,844 --> 00:02:25,334
So you're gonna
give it to her?
73
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:26,368
Yes, I am.
74
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,678
You are so 15!
75
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,691
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
76
00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:49,062
Al washes a car
in 6 minutes.
77
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:52,793
Fred washes the same car
in 8 minutes.
78
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,892
How long will it take
Al and Fred...
79
00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:56,869
to wash the car together?
80
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,097
Piece of cake.
81
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,902
Think about it,
Mr. Matthews.
82
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,808
I don't have to think about
it, Mr. Feeny. It's simple.
83
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,836
It is anything but
simple, Mr. Matthews.
84
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,006
But I've got the answer.
85
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,709
I'm not interested
in the answer.
86
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,717
Why not?
87
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,218
Because I'm more interested...
88
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,413
in how you arrive
at the answer.
89
00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,854
And you couldn't
possibly have arrived...
90
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,017
at the correct
answer so rapidly.
91
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:22,256
But I did. I've arrived.
I'm here. I'm ahead of you.
92
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,160
Oh, well, then if
you're ahead of me...
93
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:25,323
what is the answer?
94
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:26,332
- 7.
- 7.
95
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,334
That's not
the correct answer.
96
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:29,835
But it has to be.
97
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,338
Al speeds Fred up.
Fred slows Al down.
98
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,170
So the answer is halfway
between 6 and 8... 7.
99
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,470
- That's not...
- That's not...
100
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,273
- the correct answer.
- the correct answer.
101
00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:40,245
But it has to be.
102
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,441
- No, it doesn't.
- Why not?
103
00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:43,949
Fred can't slow Al down.
104
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:46,350
Even if Al washes
most of the car...
105
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,445
and Fred just washes
a hubcap...
106
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,854
the total time still
has to be faster...
107
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,950
than Al's time alone.
108
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:54,460
You with me?
109
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:57,463
So if Fred is 25%
slower than Al...
110
00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:00,830
then 25% of 6 minutes is...
111
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,858
Anybody?
112
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,700
It's a minute and a half...
113
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,433
which leaves us with...
114
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,940
4.5!
115
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,408
4 1/2 minutes is
the correct answer.
116
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,411
Hold your applause, please.
117
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,573
Mr. Minkus, you're wrong.
118
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:18,982
Wrong? As in not right?
119
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,817
You know the law of
averages better than I do.
120
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,823
It was bound to
catch up with you.
121
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:27,059
Where are you going?
122
00:05:27,093 --> 00:05:28,082
Nurse.
123
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,695
"Minkus, you're wrong."
124
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,221
I've been waiting
to hear those words...
125
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,757
since pre-school.
126
00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:37,531
Does anyone else have any
thoughts on this problem?
127
00:05:37,571 --> 00:05:39,266
On this problem?
128
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:42,139
Om...
129
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:46,475
I'm channeling the ancient
Egyptian mathematician...
130
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,004
who first
solved this problem.
131
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:56,478
[GURGLING]
132
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,013
Check, please.
133
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:01,393
All right, Ms. Lawrence.
134
00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:03,862
Let's see what
you've come up with.
135
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,922
Well, oddly enough...
136
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,935
you and your metaphysical
lab partner...
137
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,437
have arrived at
the correct answer.
138
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,405
Let me see that.
139
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,635
Grraar!
140
00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:18,803
Nice demon.
141
00:06:18,845 --> 00:06:21,279
Interesting,
isn't it, Mr. Matthews?
142
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:24,044
Mr. Minkus didn't get
the correct answer...
143
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,608
but Ms. Lawrence did.
144
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:27,745
You would do well
to consider that...
145
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,345
in your search
for your answer.
146
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,381
She's cheating.
She copies off dead guys.
147
00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,998
OK, we've got everything
right in front of us.
148
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:43,059
We got a car, we got
water, we got brushes.
149
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:45,401
We got Al and we
got Malibu Fred.
150
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:47,906
Minkus got it wrong.
151
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,171
It's not like it's just
an assignment anymore.
152
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,541
It's like a mystery.
153
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,569
And he could just
not hack being wrong.
154
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:54,637
I mean, did you see him?
155
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:56,308
He went to the nurse
and he never came back.
156
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,546
But Topanga got it right.
That is a clue.
157
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:02,749
OK, so what's the difference
between Minkus and Topanga?
158
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:05,257
All right.
Minkus is really smart.
159
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:06,759
And really weird.
160
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,488
Now, Topanga on the other
hand is really weird.
161
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:11,429
And really weird.
162
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:13,227
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
163
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,438
Minkus?
164
00:07:19,472 --> 00:07:21,940
I Was. I used to be.
165
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,442
Who's got the right answer?
166
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:26,445
Yes, Mr. Minkus.
That's right, Mr. Minkus.
167
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:27,946
Calm down, Minkus.
168
00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,448
That's correct, Mr. Minkus.
169
00:07:29,482 --> 00:07:30,949
Get a grip, Minky.
170
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,451
Another "A"
for Mr. Minkus.
171
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:35,579
No. Make that an A-plus
for Mr. Minkus.
172
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,090
So what? So you're
not a genius anymore?
173
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:39,921
Right. Now I'm just
a brainless...
174
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,155
pathetic moron
without a clue.
175
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,390
Trust me. It's not so bad.
176
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,468
It's just a word problem.
177
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,970
Every problem has
to have an answer.
178
00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:53,973
There has to be an answer.
179
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,474
What's the answer,
Matthews?
180
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:56,873
What's the answer?
181
00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,542
In my opinion, 7.
182
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:06,919
Look at me.
What have I become?
183
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:08,079
A brainless pathetic moron.
184
00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:09,918
We just went over
this material.
185
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,981
They say the
short term memory...
186
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,390
is the first thing to go.
187
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:14,984
Who says that?
188
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,325
I forgot!
189
00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,400
The new Minkus.
190
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,493
I like him!
191
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:25,800
Hey, I see you guys
got the car ready.
192
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:26,999
I'll order the pizza...
193
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,940
and you and your little
friends can pick it up, oK?
194
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:30,943
Hey, thanks for
inviting me, guys.
195
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,501
I saw my mom looking...
196
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,945
at her Let's Have Fun
with Liver cookbook.
197
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:38,075
But she's got her bowling
league tonight, Shawn.
198
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,278
No, that ended
six weeks ago.
199
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,308
No, it didn't.
200
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,116
Yes, it did.
201
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,248
Shawn, my mom's
in that league...
202
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,281
and she's been going
every Wednesday night.
203
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,521
Well, I don't know
where she's going...
204
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:49,858
but it ain't bowling.
205
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:53,263
You guys all set?
I'm about ready to leave.
206
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,493
For bowling, right?
207
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,502
Yeah. Like every
Wednesday night.
208
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,561
I'm going upstairs to
say goodnight to Morgan.
209
00:08:58,605 --> 00:08:59,731
See?
210
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:01,866
I'm telling you, the league
ended 6 weeks ago.
211
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,342
Yeah? If there's
no bowling league...
212
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,404
why is my mom going out
with this big, heavy...
213
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:11,576
Eric, something's wrong.
This doesn't weigh anything.
214
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:14,052
Maybe Mom forgot her ball.
215
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:18,424
And if those are
bowling shoes...
216
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:19,425
there should be
a number on the back...
217
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,927
just above the spike heel.
218
00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:23,929
Eric, what does this mean?
219
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,523
It means Mom's going
to be flashing some leg...
220
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,467
when she picks up
that 7-10 split.
221
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,494
"La Buggy-a."
222
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,506
La Bugia?
223
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:35,269
That's that fancy
dinner place...
224
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,900
seniors always
take their prom dates.
225
00:09:36,943 --> 00:09:38,774
Why would Mom
be going there?
226
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:41,804
Maybe Mom's dating a senior.
I mean, everybody else is.
227
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:44,807
MRS. MATTHEWS:
I love you, too, pumpkin.
228
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:52,957
Morgan says she's
getting hungry...
229
00:09:52,992 --> 00:09:54,619
so you guys better
order that pizza soon.
230
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:55,650
I'm on it.
231
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,993
Good. Hey, keep your
eye on your sister...
232
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,555
and I'll be home
around 10:00.
233
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,725
From bowling, right?
234
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:03,736
Where else would I be going
with my bowling bag?
235
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,261
Oh, this ball weighs a ton.
236
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,399
GUYS: Ha ha ha!
237
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,033
OK, maybe it's not
as bad as it looks.
238
00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:12,237
I sure hope so because
this looks pretty bad.
239
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,745
Does it look
as bad as liver?
240
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:14,747
No.
241
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,806
Why is she going
to La Bugia?
242
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:19,444
Why is she going to La Bugia
with a bowling bag?
243
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:23,047
Is there...
trouble in paradise?
244
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:25,057
Between my mom
and dad? No way!
245
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:27,059
They're so happy,
it's disgusting.
246
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,561
They're always kissing
and being romantic.
247
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,654
Are they?
248
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:33,063
Or is Dad always kissing
and being romantic?
249
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,259
What are you talking about?
250
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,858
Remember this morning he
came in with a rose for her...
251
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:36,926
she didn't even care?
252
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,335
Yeah, and he poured
coffee for her...
253
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:39,565
and she just walked away.
254
00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,540
And that kiss she gave him
this morning before she left...
255
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:42,939
was nothing more
than a pity kiss.
256
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,910
Believe me. I know
what they look like.
257
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,446
The main thing is, she
picked Wednesday nights.
258
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,110
The one night that Dad
has his managers' meeting.
259
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,279
Yeah, and why was she in such
a rush to leave this morning?
260
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,413
I mean, is she trying
to get away from Dad?
261
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:59,050
You don't think she
loves him anymore?
262
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,150
It could mean Worse.
263
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,320
I mean, no one goes
to La Bugia alone.
264
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,728
You think she loves
somebody else?
265
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,129
You guys better
tell your dad.
266
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,793
Tell him what?
We don't have any proof.
267
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,426
- Get proof.
- How?
268
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,495
Don't you guys watch
NYPD BLUE?
269
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:14,966
Tail her...
270
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,976
and talk dirty.
271
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,001
Tail her on our bikes?
272
00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,876
Get on a bus. You know
where she's going.
273
00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,472
Just get there,
take a look around.
274
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,642
You know, he's right.
We should do this.
275
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,946
I mean, chances are
we'll get there...
276
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,419
we'll find she's there alone...
in a cocktail dress...
277
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:30,422
bowling.
278
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,287
We're gonna have
to go undercover.
279
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,293
- As what?
- Two kids.
280
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,852
By day, two ordinary kids.
281
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,330
By night, two ordinary kids
on a bus.
282
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,727
Talking dirty.
283
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:44,897
We'll be back
as soon as we can.
284
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,166
Here's the 20.
285
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,798
Order the pizza,
watch my house...
286
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,000
and guard my sister.
287
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,304
And if I'm killed
on this mission...
288
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,038
find out the answer
to that car wash problem...
289
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:54,706
from Feeny and have
Topanga channel it to me.
290
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,626
OK, what do you have?
291
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,720
3 daddies and 2 mommies.
292
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:13,095
A full house?
293
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:17,432
FuLL House?
I love those olsen twins.
294
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,700
MORGAN: Hi. Daddy.
295
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,331
Well, hey, sweetie.
296
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,968
What are you doing up?
It's, uh, 10:15.
297
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,002
Shawn was teaching me
how to play 5-card...
298
00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:28,104
Go Fish.
299
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,413
Jacks or better to open.
300
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,919
Where's Cory and Eric?
301
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,818
They went to the library.
302
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,948
Would that be
the public library...
303
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,982
the one
that closes at 9:00?
304
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,221
No, no. The other one.
305
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,230
I'm going
to put Morgan to bed...
306
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,732
and then you and I are
gonna talk a little more.
307
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,757
Kind of a relationship
building thing?
308
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,269
No.
309
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,670
Great. First time in
my life I'm in trouble...
310
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,037
with someone else's dad.
311
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:57,704
Guys! Your dad
just got home.
312
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:58,802
Where is he?
313
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,813
Upstairs putting your sister
to bed. What did you find out?
314
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:01,745
Nothing good.
315
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,248
Mom Was at the club.
316
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,750
She was dancing
with some guy.
317
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,046
In those red shoes.
318
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,245
Wow!
319
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,346
Yeah, she was snuggling up
with him in a dark booth.
320
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,549
Who was it?
321
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:11,579
I don't know.
I couldn't tell.
322
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,648
Neither could I.
323
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,182
There were lace curtains
and plastic grapes...
324
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,489
hanging all over the place.
325
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:17,894
So what are you
going to do?
326
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,022
I have no idea.
327
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:21,033
I can't keep this
a secret, Eric.
328
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,864
You know me. I'll crack.
329
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:24,096
Dad will say,
"Good night, son."
330
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,002
And I'll say, "Mom
was with another guy!"
331
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,563
Shh!
332
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,905
Look, I mean, you're right.
We'll have to tell him.
333
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,705
Cory. Eric.
334
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,769
You know I'm
always here for you.
335
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,713
Just not right now.
336
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:36,772
Oh, by the way...
337
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,841
I told him you were
at the library.
338
00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:41,786
Great lie, Shawn.
The library closes at 9:00.
339
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,119
Yeah. He knew that, too.
340
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,092
This is not gonna
be easy to tell Dad.
341
00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:49,094
Maybe we could just
send him a letter.
342
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,562
"Dear sir, your wife was
dancing with another guy.
343
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:52,996
Signed...
A concerned citizen."
344
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:54,192
MR. MATTHEWS:
Good night. Morgan.
345
00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:56,258
Oh, no. He's gonna say
good night to me next.
346
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:58,497
I'm gonna blow! You gotta
handle this, Eric.
347
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,063
Look, you just stay quiet.
Let me do all the talking.
348
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,098
Why, hey, guys.
349
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:04,109
Hi, Dad.
350
00:14:04,143 --> 00:14:05,235
Where's Shawn?
351
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:06,438
Oh, Shawn decided
to walk home.
352
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:07,468
I'd have driven him.
353
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,208
Oh, relax, Dad. He
lives 2 blocks away.
354
00:14:09,248 --> 00:14:10,476
Now why don't you
sit down, relax...
355
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:11,608
and not think that
anything terrible...
356
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:12,640
is going on in your life.
357
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,652
Would you like some pizza?
358
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,654
- Mmm.
- Hey, where's my change?
359
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,155
You know,
speaking of change...
360
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,681
change can be a very
positive thing in one's life...
361
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,819
especially unexpected change,
which funnily enough...
362
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,624
we'll be talking
about right now.
363
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,526
What's going on?
Where were you two?
364
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:30,798
Uh, well, for 2 1/2 hours...
365
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:32,566
we were on 4
different city buses...
366
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,972
going to and coming from
this place.
367
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,441
This place?
368
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:39,638
Could you be a little
more specific, please?
369
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,307
Uh, it was
a rectangular place.
370
00:14:43,649 --> 00:14:46,083
We, uh, we were
at La Bugia, Dad.
371
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,713
Mmm!
372
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:49,722
La Bugia?
373
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,281
Mom was with another guy!
374
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,418
She was dancing.
375
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:55,722
With another guy!
376
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,663
Cory looked in the window
and recognized Mom's shoes...
377
00:14:58,698 --> 00:14:59,722
and the shoes of...
378
00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,700
Do I have to draw you
a picture?
379
00:15:04,203 --> 00:15:06,671
It's all We could see.
It Was dark.
380
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,901
There's Mom's car.
381
00:15:08,941 --> 00:15:10,841
Quick. More pizza.
382
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:18,207
Well, I guess I'll have to have
a little talk with your mother.
383
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:23,177
Hey, I'm here for you, Dad.
384
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,713
That's why I had you, son.
385
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,698
Hey, stranger.
386
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,201
Hi.
387
00:15:36,235 --> 00:15:38,601
Well, I just had an
interesting conversation...
388
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,832
with Cory and Eric.
389
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,169
Is anything wrong?
390
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,300
Yeah. We're busted.
391
00:15:43,342 --> 00:15:46,209
Oh, man, they found out?
392
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:48,805
Guess we just weren't
sneaky enough.
393
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,748
Actually,
I was sneaky enough.
394
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:51,875
What?
395
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:55,410
They only caught you,
you, you brazen hussy.
396
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,148
They're still talking.
That's a good sign.
397
00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,091
They're not yelling?
398
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,253
Not yet.
399
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,421
Oh, no. Look, as long
as they're not yelling...
400
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,158
we have a chance,
but once they go quiet...
401
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,392
that's when we're
in real trouble.
402
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,366
CORY: What's it mean
when he's smiling?
403
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,868
- He's smiling?
- Uh-huh.
404
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:10,994
Oh, no. He's lost it.
405
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,527
He's turned
into Freddie Krueger.
406
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,767
I mean, you know how Freddie
always smiles before...
407
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,570
Tch... Aah!
408
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,202
- She's gone!
- What?
409
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,645
Mom's gone! She left!
I don't see her!
410
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,273
We'll never
see her again, Eric!
411
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,511
We don't have
a mother anymore!
412
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,178
Hi, guys.
413
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,687
I overreacted.
414
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:31,019
Mom, are we still
a family...
415
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:33,048
or have we become like
an after-school special?
416
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,525
Everything is fine.
417
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,528
Are you sure? Because
Dad was smiling.
418
00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:38,120
I understand you two...
419
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,029
did a little
detective work tonight.
420
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,931
Sorry we ratted on you, Mom.
421
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,163
It Was me.
I folded under torture.
422
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:46,000
Yeah. Dad said hello.
423
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,970
Look, I didn't go
bowling tonight.
424
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,102
Aahh...
425
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:54,203
And I did stop
at a gas station...
426
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:56,408
and change into that
dress that you saw.
427
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,508
Aahh...
428
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:00,109
And I did go to La Bugia...
429
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,245
and danced the night away
with the most exciting...
430
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:05,052
wonderful guy I know.
431
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:08,424
Mom, shouldn't this confession
be a little harder for you?
432
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,225
I was dancing
with your father.
433
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,824
- What?
- Dad's not our father?
434
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,793
It Was Dad!
435
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:19,168
How long have
you guys known me?
436
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,604
Since we were born?
437
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,039
Before We Were born.
438
00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,668
Right! You know me
inside and out.
439
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,007
You know my heart.
440
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,775
I was dancing
with your father.
441
00:17:28,814 --> 00:17:30,941
But I thought Dad had
a managers' meeting.
442
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,211
Bogus.
443
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:34,310
- Like your bowling league.
- Yeah.
444
00:17:34,353 --> 00:17:35,820
So you guys lied to us.
445
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:38,517
Look, Cor, I have
a wonderful life...
446
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,025
and I love being a mother...
447
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,220
but that's just
not all of who I am.
448
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,660
I mean, I also
have a career...
449
00:17:43,696 --> 00:17:46,130
and I happen to be madly
in love with my husband.
450
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,996
- Cool.
- Yecch.
451
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,630
I'm sorry you
feel that way, Cor...
452
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:51,728
because your father and I...
453
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,831
work very hard to keep
our relationship fresh.
454
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:59,007
You know, keep
the electricity going.
455
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,147
We want to stay hot
for each other.
456
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,047
Aagh...
457
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,642
Cory.
458
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:08,847
You guys snuck off
and lied to us.
459
00:18:08,888 --> 00:18:12,016
Look, Cor,
did you ever cut school?
460
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:13,150
Me? No. Uh-uh.
461
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:14,716
Off the record.
462
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,489
Once in fifth grade.
463
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,553
Did you have fun?
464
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:21,556
Yeah. I went to the mall.
It was really cool.
465
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,569
Yeah, but you've been to
the mall a hundred times.
466
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,093
Now, maybe it was fun...
467
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,900
because you weren't
supposed to be there.
468
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,305
You know, like it
was a bit dangerous?
469
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,309
Get it?
470
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:31,674
Yeah!
471
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,700
No.
472
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:35,280
Come on, Cory.
473
00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,179
I mean, it's exciting.
It's adult.
474
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:40,617
Sneaking around's romantic.
Very cool, Mom. I approve.
475
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,711
Thank you, Eric.
476
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:44,154
Well, I don't approve.
It sounds like you guys...
477
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:45,714
were just trying
to get away from us.
478
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:46,884
And I think that's wrong.
479
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,223
See, that's the fine line...
480
00:18:48,260 --> 00:18:49,955
between being an adult
and being a kid.
481
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,486
When you're a kid,
you see everything...
482
00:18:51,530 --> 00:18:53,623
as right or wrong,
black or white...
483
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,793
blonde or brunette.
484
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:57,700
But when you're an adult...
485
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:00,672
you realize that,
that not everything...
486
00:19:00,706 --> 00:19:02,264
is as simple
as right or wrong.
487
00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:06,005
I mean, sometimes
there are gray areas.
488
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,774
Any of this
make sense to you?
489
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:11,374
Of course. I'm an adult.
You're very cool, Mom.
490
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:12,884
I'll take cool.
491
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,385
Now, if you guys
will excuse me...
492
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,251
there's a guy
in the back yard...
493
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,916
who owes me
a goodnight kiss.
494
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,688
It's OK. It's Dad.
495
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:56,688
Good morning.
496
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,698
[BELL RINGS]
497
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:06,495
Al washes a car
in 6 minutes.
498
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:09,474
Fred washes the same car
in 8 minutes.
499
00:20:09,508 --> 00:20:12,773
How long will it take them
to wash the car together?
500
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,872
And the answer is still
not 7, Mr. Matthews.
501
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,348
I know that, sir.
502
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,510
What else do you know?
503
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:21,486
I know why you gave us
this word problem.
504
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:25,012
To suck the fun
out of our lives.
505
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,719
Yeah, that, but
the main reason is...
506
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,228
to get us to stop
thinking like kids...
507
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:32,594
and start thinking
like adults.
508
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:35,464
I know that there's not
always one right answer.
509
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,662
There may not even
be an answer at all.
510
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:39,963
Startling.
511
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,235
And how did you arrive
at that conclusion?
512
00:20:42,274 --> 00:20:43,741
I found out that sometimes...
513
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:46,244
we need to learn to think
differently.
514
00:20:46,278 --> 00:20:49,247
That's how Topanga knew.
Because she thinks differently.
515
00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:51,215
Really differently.
516
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,313
Well, Mr. Matthews...
517
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,082
in all the time We've
known each other...
518
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,454
I don't think I've ever
been so impressed.
519
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,981
Thanks, Mr. Feeny.
520
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:02,357
In the course
of your education...
521
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:05,921
you have been taught to look
for the right answer.
522
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:08,900
But you also must know
that in life...
523
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:13,701
many times the right answer
is that there isn't one.
524
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:19,210
This is an especially valuable
lesson for you, Mr. Minkus.
525
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:21,270
So I'm afraid
your calculations...
526
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:23,508
are all for naught.
527
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:24,709
Not necessarily.
528
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:27,719
I think I may have
inadvertently discovered...
529
00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:29,744
the secret of time travel.
530
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:34,249
Did your spirit guide
talk to you...
531
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,624
and give you the answer?
532
00:21:35,661 --> 00:21:37,754
Yeah. My mom.
533
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:52,668
Wait a minute.
534
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,576
Maybe time isn't a continuum.
535
00:21:54,613 --> 00:21:57,081
Maybe it's a random
repetition of moments.
536
00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:58,674
I think I've got it!
537
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:11,985
A continuum.
538
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:14,898
Maybe it's a random
repetition of moments.
539
00:22:26,412 --> 00:22:27,879
A continuum.
540
00:22:27,913 --> 00:22:30,780
Maybe it's a random
repetition of moments.
541
00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:33,744
Nah????????????????????????????????????????????????
542
00:22:33,794 --> 00:22:38,344
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